We started with 13, picked up another along the way, and now there are two - Drew Daniel and Michael "Cowboy" Ellis. In 60 minutes, an embittered jury - including a pair of ousted twins, Drew's fair-weather girlfriend, and the half-sister Michael never knew - will award one of them $500,000. Welcome... to finale night.

We start with... a thunderstorm, as the final juror enters the jury house... That would be Diane, of course. No warning for her, as she got "played like a spade." They all fault Michael for flying under the radar (wait, that's a bad thing?) as a strategy. They all laud Drew for sleeping through the same game (wait... that's a good thing?). Nakomis is still resentful for the blood-bond, not totally realizing, although she has a new brother and God bless her for it, that they were playing a game (because, she's one of them jaded youths and stuff, nevermind the fact that she would've done the same thing if the shoe was on the other foot because in the end, she's there for one reason: to win $500,000, same as everyone else, and I'm sure she'll grow out of it... but I digress). On the other hand, they do think that Cowboy was honest for the past 82 days. "I don't think Cowboy had enough sense to lie."

The in-house audience awaits the arrival of the jury as they prepare to hear closing arguments.

Will: I have nothing but love for both of you. I am split 50-50 up here in the sequester house. Drew, I want you to look at cowboy and I want you to tell me, using strategic cal gaming reasons, why he does not deserve to win this game?
Drew: Wow. This is rough. Personal aside, cowboy, I feel as though I've had to make more strategic decision, some of them have helped you out a long the way. I was HOH four times now. I just feel as though I played this game as a player, I made stronger moves, strategically, than you, Cowboy. I feel for those reasons, will, that I should be picked in the number-one spot instead of number two.

Natalie: I want you to give me three very specific moves that you made strategically to be where you are today in that chair.
Michael: Obviously you cannot play this game by yourself. So being with the Four Horsemen, I think that would be a huge strategy in this game. Winning the veto would be one. And being myself. Not being fake, that would be a strategy move I did make in this game by being myself.

Adria: For me, I need to know why you should have my vote at the end.
Michael: If I win, I would love to start me a dude ranch, and I want to give Chason the childhood that I did not have. Of course, I would love to have your vote, Adria. As a friend, I think that in this game, I was very true to you, and I know Drew was, too. 

Marvin: Early in the game, I distinctly remember [Drew] saying that Diane was a trailer chick. You wouldn't have anything to do with her outside of the game and you were more into Lori. Do you think it's okay to emotionally use and abuse someone to further yourself in the game?
Drew: To be honest, Marvin, I don't remember saying that. I will say I did not use or abuse Diane but admit I said Lori was an attractive woman. I know for a fact that after the show's over, with I'm totally looking forward to hanging out with Diane, and hopefully she does not hate me, and I hope that she can put game and personal aside and not hold that against me. Marvin: Question for world-famous Cowboy. You tried to vote me out three out of four times I was on the block. Is that because you are a racist liar or a lying racist?
Michael: You know, in a way I was hoping you would throw a racist question towards me. I have been thinking about this. I'm not racist. The three out of the four times I voted for one, you was going up against Savage and Jase. And to me, I made agreements with them before I made an agreement with you. That last time, I voted because you was up against my sister. Again, I have two wonderful black nephews, and I love every type of race, Chinese, Japanese, I'm not racist. I would love to, however, have a relationship with you outside this game.

Karen: Okay, here it is, drew: I feel directly misled by you. And I just want to know why you couldn't look at me, knowing the kind of person I am, and just kind of burning me on the way out. I wanted to know why?
Drew: Out of all respect for you, I wish I would have said right to your face, look, Karen, there is a good chance of you going that week. I think the four of us left in the house with you all felt bad after you left.

Nakomis: Cowboy, all the times that I did speak with you before I nominated you, you never were surprised that you got put up on the block. You could have told me no any of those times, why didn't you?
Michael: I shouldn't have to tell you that it's not okay. I guess that's where I went wrong. I'm sorry for that, and you know, hopefully you can forgive me.

Diane: Why do you think you deserve 500,000 dollars over drew next to you, game purposes only?
Michael: Of course, you know, I didn't win no HOH or nothing, but I have tried every competition left and right except one Veto that I threw so you could save Drew and myself in this game. I have worked my butt off every competition, and that's my answer.
Diane: Okay, drew, you've talked about being the most honest person in the world, but your good-bye messages I didn't feel anything heartfelt, and I feel like you don't see the same way about me. I am curious where you stand there?
Drew: I want you to know, Diane, that I have liked you and it seemed like we hit it off since if beginning. I feel like I have feelings for you. I tried to make that good-bye as heartfelt as I could. Sorry if mine wasn't as heartfelt as you wanted it to be, but it was from the heart. I'll be honest, I can't wait to see you after this is over with. Hopefully you still feel the same way about me.

Michael: I think I should win "big brother 5" because I feel that the first day I walked through that front door I played this game being myself. I'm sorry, Marvin, you think I might be racist and I'm not for no means. Nakomis, again, I'm sorry, you know, because of my word, and I still want to have a great relationship with you outside of this house. I feel that whatever decision you make I will respect it no matter what. And I do love you all.
Drew: All right, guys. I think that you should pick me for the $500,000. I have prayed this game to the best of my ability. I have been in situations where I have had to take risk, make decision, make strategic decision. I made a decision that broke my heart. And I respect whatever you guys do, a decision is in your hands. I just know that if I was in your shoes that I would be evaluating us on how we played this game, personal all aside. Thank you.

Heh. Will tripped. You heard the arguments, now it's time to vote... And hey! More trippy dialogue!

Adria: Drew, Michael, I want to say you guys were both awesome and there is no right or wrong way to play this game. Congratulations both. This is a hard decision, so I wish you both good luck and I think you both have a bright future ahead. So here it goes.
Natalie: Drew and Cowboy, I'd like to say congratulations. I think this game is a game about commitment and it's about living the game daily and how to play it. Both you guys have within there and communication is key throughout this game. I wish you both good luck. And you both did great.
Karen: Thanks for making me miss my shopping spree! You know, it's a tough game, and after my emotional retardedness cleared up, you guys did play a really good game, both of you played in your own way. I consider you both winners either way. So here I go.
Marvin: Fellas, you know it ain't nothing personal. You know I love you both like play cousins. I have to cast a vote for the person I really think deserves it. Nothing personal.
Diane: Congratulations, guys. You both deserve to be there. Drew, I care about you more than anything in the world. I told you we'd keep it separate. Cowboy, you have never lied to me, with that said....
Nakomis: I want to say congratulations. You both did play good games. Obviously you're in the final two. So I just want you to know this is a hard decision. There's only one thing that contributed to how I wound up voting.
Will: You're both have been great friends. You both have such potential. I want to say congratulations to you both. I want both of you to use your money to make a difference, so this was a very hard decision to me, but I know I made the right one.

The votes are locked; they cannot be changed. Now we have some time left, so why not bring in the first five evictees to tell the jury what was going down. We learn that a) Marvin and Will weren't really THAT cool (tee hee), b) Savage extended an olive branch, and Jase isn't really willing to let go of Holly's hand to take it, c) Holly extends a flower, but isn't willing to be friends to Diane, d) Karen backstabbed everyone, e) the Santa Monica Van Boys was a front, and f) Diane was the best player strategically.

Enough of that, after 82 days of *hums the first season theme*, it's time to reveal. The vote to win is four.

Adria: MICHAEL
Natalie: MICHAEL
Karen: DREW
Marvin: DREW
Diane: DREW
Nakomis: MICHAEL

And sure enough, it comes down to Will... "And the winner of Big Brother 5...  DREW DANIEL!" As the two of them continue to exchange man-hugs, they're invited to join the other houseguests outside of the house. Derw wants to head out to Oklahoma to party with Michael, while Michael wants to just "pay a few bills" with his $50,000. Drew's twin brother Ben, and Michael's fiancee April & son Chason join the celebration.

Well, that's it. My choice didn't win, but it was damn near close. For the fifth year, they lived... You watched. Big thanks to my co-horseman Gordon for the Saturday rundowns, and big thanks to you all for visiting. Just remains for me to say "From outside the GSNN Big Brother House, I'm Chico Alexander. Goodnight."