We begin here, day 78, with the final three, Drew, Michael, and Diane. Actually, we begin three days ago, when we started the final Head of Household Comp. If you remember, the object was to stay on two planks with one hand on your respective key at all times. But, as par for the course this season, nothing is as simple as it seemed, as we started to give our houseguests the shakes.

And look what Cowboy's doin'! He's riding it like a bronco! Hand in the air and everything, very apropos for someone who both wants and needs the win in the worst way.

But then there was calm... But for how long? During this lull, Cowboy remembers evicting Nakomis last time. Affter that, Diane decides that she needs to put her hair up. Michael, being the gentleman of the group, offers his service, not knowing that the sword of Damocles has just unsuspectingly been unsheathed, dropped, and pretty much used to lop his good arm off. Yes, friends. Michael Ellis is a chump. And this may well be the ultimate payment.

Diane begins to apologize profusely (Q-Note: If she was TRULY sorry, she would forfeit), but... yeah, I bought it too. No really. Look at me buying it. Can't you see the believability in my eyes... Oh wait... You can't see my eyes rolling back, can you? Well, in a fit of karmic retribution, at 24:13, the ground begins to open up its mechanical fury again.

The plan afterwards for Drew: put Diane up next to him. Whether it be for the final 2 or just for eviction is anyone's guess, but at the moment, it's not really to be believed because of her "guilty conscience". And then, more retribution as we shake AND the keys lower. And lower still. While Drew is looking for an opportunity to throw the competition, Diane is taken aback by yet another jolt, and at 46:09... she pays for it. Drew wins round 1. "All that jackhammering and construction... paid off!"

Later, the two lovebirds pact to be in the round 3 later in the episode, even as Drew decides not to trust her again... "I feel your karma." Another misuse of the word karma. Drives me nuts. Diane asks Drew to promise her that if he wins, he will not choose Cowboy.

Keep in mind that the plan was that Cowboy and Drew would go up against each other in round 3. Cowboy WAS supposed to win round 1. It was supposed to be "two Horsemen in the final two." Now Drew must go over his plans with both Michael and Diane. Both take on each other in round 2.

FINAL HOH: Round 2

Another double helix challenge, as we introduce the Twisted Twosomes. Each houseguest has a DNA strand and a set of pictures. On each bond (think back to biology, folks, you all should know what DNA looks like by now) is a fact about two houseguests. Line up the matches first to win. However, if ever a challenger should come across a wrong answer, you'll have to slide ALL of your disks off and then realign them before you can continue. Both of the players learned that the hard way. Diane more so than Michael, as he pays more attention to details. Of course with an eye for details... one Cowboy prevails.

Drew and Cowboy do the man-hug. Diane, on the other hand, "I hate you Cowboy, you are going down so hard" in tears. She tells Drew that Cowboy does not deserve to win this game. Apparently... he does. You on the other hand... don't.

Back live, Drew admits to miss Savage (who the hell is Savage? Oh, Scott...). Michael misses "a little of everybody." Diane misses Will and Lori. Drew is worried about seeing Marvin and Karen again. Michael's ready to face everyone, while Diane fears Holly.

And speaking of which, it's time to revisit the first five to be evicted. They have been able to go home and see the action for themselves. Mike "The Big" Lubinski thinks Drew and Cowboy at the end. If you remember Lori Valenti as the chick who took the money and ran, you'll remember that she's very happy about that. Scott "The Savage" Long is back, as he discovers first fame and first shame by Jase Wirey's hand. And speaking of Jase's hand, Holly King seems to have claimed it since eviction. We also revisit "Karma Electra", and everyone loves Cowboy.

Going to break, would you HONESTLY want to be in Cowboy's boots... or Drew's... or Diane's? CBS.com is where you need to be. Back to the action.

FINAL HOH: Round 3

It's a "how well do you know the Jury" test. Julie will read incomplete statements from the six in the Jury and offer two choices. Most points wins.

Karen: Her biggest regret was... not breaking up Drew & Diane (no one right)
Natalie: The person she wants to maintain a friendship with after the game is... Drew (Drew right)
Marvin: The houseguest that he would hate to discover that he's secretly related to is... Michael (Drew right)
Nakomis: The person whose behavior shocked her most is... Michael (both right)
Adria: Of all the houseguests, the best manipulator was... Diane (Michael right)
Will: If he had to marry one houseguest, it would be... Scott. (Drew wins, 4-2)

Now Drew's guaranteed at least $50,000. But now he must evict either his co-Horseman or his co-whore.

Time for Famous Last Words: Michael: "We had words since day 1, and I know you're close with her. Whatever decision, I love you. You're a brother to me." Diane: "I care about you more than anything in the word. You are the reason why I'm still here."

And now, Drew's decision. Best friend or girlfriend. "Right now, this is going to shock one of you."

That one... is Diane. The one with the numbers on the jury. Drew gives Diane final comfort before her exit. We're all boo-hooey for a few moments while Cowboy gets a drink. Diane is indeed shocked. "He thinks that the Jury would vote to give me the money. He knew it. He's smarter than I am. Drew can win against Michael. It was in his best interest to keep Michael in the house." She says that the relationship was real, and she wants to continue it after the house. Looking back, she has no regrets... except keeping Cowboy in. Greatest moment: HOH.

Who will she vote for? Drew lied to her (according to her), so that may weigh in the final decision.

We started with ten people and Four Horsemen. Tuesday night, September 21, 2004... One Horseman will pony up to half a million dollars. And Will, Marvin, Karen, Nakomis, Diane, and the twins will decide who.

Right now, though, it's "hurry up and wait" at the Big Brother House. At the local GSNN pool, I'm all-in. Cowboy to win.