Last time, Howie was evicted from the house (with no regrets from Ivette), and Janelle won HOH. "It's three against one, basically. It sucks." But Janelle knows that Howie is proud of her for winning and making final three fair and square. "I think all three are worried about being nominated, and they should be." Ivette says that the fight won't be too pretty. "You're gonna see some claws come out." April doesn't see her bringing Ivette into the final three.

Meanwhile, April's getting horny. "Everything's about gettin' some," Maggie says. "It's very exciting to know that you're going to get some love in about two weeks." Good for you....

Okay, let's look at Janelle's HOH room, stocked with chocolate and beauty... products. And a photo from her gay best friend Nate. We also meet Janelle's mom's boobies and her dog Cupcake. She becomes the first person to invite all of the houseguests to sleep with her.

... but will they accept? They go to the backyard to mull it over. "It'll be interesting to see what Janelle will do with the nominations," April says.

Ivette wants to have a baby, meanwhile. She would name her Sophia. Apparently Janelle wants to have a little Janelle as well. Ivette says that Janelle would be a MILF. "I want an Escalade so I can put lots of kids in it."

Next on MILF-vision CBS: the friendship are sleeping... in the bedroom. "It wasn't going to work out in anyone's schedule. We also wanted to discuss a lot of stuff that I didn't feel comfortable talking about in front of Janelle," Maggie says, noting that the Friendship is the longest surviving alliance in the house (but not in history, as two of the original Four Horsemen rode to the final last year). Then they get all noble, wax poetic about keeping each other around because they enjoy each other, when all of a sudden....

"Hey, what're you guys doin'?" From the moment Janelle arrives, it's nothing but a slumber party thing. "It's strictly strategic. If I am a good person in their eyes, and then one of the friends screws them over." Ivette notices that Janelle is actually very human. "I think she knows that she needs out votes."

The next day, the girls get a message from Jon Cryer, Charlie Sheen, and Angus T. Jones (aka "Two and a Half Men"). Must be time to reveal America's Choice. Charlie announces the winner.... Janelle. "There's a limo waiting for you outside." You heard him... Limo, outside, now! Meanwhile, the Friendship are all in the Journal Room left to muse why America would ever choose her... thrice. Ivette: "You're gonna tell me that America doesn't love a nurse from Las Vegas who's been dating the same guy, a firefighter? You're gonna tell me that America doesn't love a country girl from Texas?" April: "And then there's you. How can you tell me that America doesn't love you?" Easy. They just did. And April, who said that she never hated anyone in this house. According to this montage, you hate everybody!

Meanwhile, Janelle is in a limo heading to the Warner Bros. backlot, which, for some reason, you can see from the Universal Studios backlot (trust me on this one). First person she meets is Angus (on a scooter), but we all know that she's really holding out for Charlie. I mean come on... Anyway, she learns the secrets of the show and of how they're the only show on TV with an actual working fridge.

While April notices that Janelle's the only person that isn't actually working right now. "Apparently, we look like big fat (^_^)holes."

Back on the set, Janelle gets the hero's welcome from the audience warm-up dude, which, unless you're Rich Fields, doesn't entail much. Janelle gets the visit from Charlie and a souvenir bowling shirt signed by the cast. From then on, we just sit back and enjoy thirty minutes of sitcom. And Janelle vows to wear the shirt back to the house, "to make the Nerd Herd more envious." As if she didn't have that much to make them envious in the first place.

Oh, and lest we mention that you can catch "Two and a Half Men" Monday nights this fall at 9p ET on this very network ($PLUG$).

The next day, the three non-Latinos in the house sunbathe, while April admits that if she wants to talk girly-girl stuff, that she would go see Janelle. The two compare bodily... assets... and cue the obligatory "boing boing" noises. "Obviously April's had a lot more plastic surgery than I had." Yeah, Janelle, that's obvious to everyone. Maggie's not a huge supporter of vanity, as she calls it.

Meanwhile, the Boing-Boing Sisters talk about nominations, to get April & Ivette to think that they've cut a deal. "April is very loose with information," Maggie notes. "Ivette is seeing it as 'me and her' against Janelle & April." "She's not selling herself, but she is," Ivette says.

April thinks that Janelle is going to think strategy. "A bunch of BS," Ivette says. "It's a tossup of what Janelle wants to do," April says. Maggie is now the middleman, as relay of information now hurts her.

But how will the nomination play out? "My intention is to somehow split up the group of three. The person that's not nominated ... is going to decide who'll leave this house, which will cause more trouble." Ivette notes that there's a 75 percent chance of her going home this week (wrong... based on how things play out, there is a 66 percent chance).

Now to the ceremony. After whining that she's been outcasted, attacked, and her friends martyred, the only person safe today is... April. Ivette and Maggie are up on the block. "My reasons are purely strategic."

But are they? Or are they, as Maggie calls them, lies? Did she do this to herself? Find out Tuesday!