December 16/23 - 2013 YEAR IN REVIEW
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Episode 36.2: Mercury
Retrograde 2: The Search for More Money
Chico: Chico Alexander here... and Gordon, I've
noticed some strange things here.
It was Friday the 13th...A full moon...A honey moon...
Gordon: ...a honey moon?
Chico: Yes. A honey moon, also known as a strawberry moon, is any full moon in
particularly one before the Summer Solstice. And Mercury is in retrograde. So
you would think that something strange is about to go down.
Gordon: We do have strange. Very strange. Like us.
Chico: I like me some strange.
Gordon: Then let's get on with it, as from somewhere in America, this week's
edition of WLTI...is...ON!
Gordon: Gordon Pepper here, and we'll start with a somewhat mundane Jeopardy
Chico: Imagine, if you will, a Jeopardy! champion who wins four games despite
missing the Final Jeopardy! all four times. Her name is Molly LaLonde. She's a
nurse practitioner student.
Gordon: And she played well enough to either make it a lock game or be fortunate
enough so that her competitors missed the Final. Neither of those things
happened on her day #5.
Chico: Nope. She's up to $14,000, which would be good, if Sari didn't have
$15,400 or Darren didn't have $22,400. So yeah, if she needed to get one Final
Gordon: Ironically, if she bet well during Final Jeopardy, she would still be
this situation, what does the golden book say?
Chico: If Molly thinks about what her opponents are going to do, she should bet
nothing. It seems a little contrary, but she would win on a triple stumper.
Sari's in classic Stratton's Dilemma here, where she would be better off
wagering more if she knows the category or less if she sees a triple stumper
Gordon: Exactly. Molly can only win if the other 2 get it wrong. So she has to
Chico: That's what the book says. But let's see what happens here. The category:
Capital City Wordplay
Ending in the same 2 letters, these 2 are capitals of a nation that covers a
continent & of a nation reaching onto 2 continents.
Gordon: (Puts on L.A. King Outfit) What are Canberra and Ankara?
Chico: Alrighty. Now put this on. (throws NY Rangers jersey)
Gordon: Sorry Rangers...actually, No Im not (waves Nj Devils Banner).
Gordon: (Puts on Rangers Outfit). What is Dankey Kang-ia and Tratolandia?
Chico: Tratolandia, the capital of Tratolandia. And Dankey Kangia, the capital
Gordon: Dankey Kang Country, of Course
Chico: Ah. Forgot about that. So here was Molly hoping for a triple stumper....
Gordon: And she's going to get it.
Chico: Actually, she bet nothing. The thing is... Darren bets $8000. So by $400,
guess who's the new champion?
Gordon: Darren is, BUT Darren bet incorrectly also. And I'll add If Sari bet
nothing, which she needed to do, Darren LOSES.
Gordon: So it's a trio of bad betting and they should all get dirty rugs. Can
Chico: I got rugs for everybody
Gordon: Present, sir.
Gordon: Thank you. Now onto more strange things, like AGT week #3 of auditions.
Gordon: We have more singers with emotional sob stories, like our 20-something
drug addict who gets to have his dad see hi perform. AwwwwBarf. Any standouts
Chico: Well, it's Flag day, so how about Mudslinger the pig raising the flag?
And with the US Open and the World Cup this week as well, we have golf and
soccer from the same pig.He won't get past the next round, but isn't he adorable
Gordon: He's so cute. That was around the highlight of my week. Everything else
- cute, but generic. And if you don't have anything mind-blowing, the singer is
going to win. My vote
is going to Mudslinger the pig though.
Chico: Yeah. Basically, although the singers' sob stories are starting to run
Gordon: Waiting for talent > dramatic story. I may be waiting for awhile
Chico: Well you have a few weeks still, so keep hope alive
Gordon: I'll try. Now you were talking about Honey Moon and pigs. I'm starting
to get hungry.
Chico: I got what you need...
Gordon: Yum. Feed me.
Chico: First up, we're saluting the troops on MasterChef. Ever been to fort
Gordon: I have not
Chico: You wouldn't like it. In the middle of the desert. Anyway, the teams had
to make one grilled meat, one sauce, and one side item. 500 servings.
Chico: The red team had a grilled pork chop with bacon mac & cheese and apple
I'm getting hungry just thinking about it. The blue team had a falling out but
ultimately went with barbecued chicken breast and potato salad. Here is why that
is a dangerous choice. What do you never want to serve if you're making chicken?
Gordon: Potato salad. Especially in the desert where the mayonnaise can spoil.
Chico: Yep. Blah. Sick everywhere. Not good eats. So the Blue Team heads into a
pressure test.A blueberry lattice pie. Mmmm.... Pie.
Chico: Stephanie's pie... too sweet... raw... and what were the pecans aobut?
Gordon: She's nuts. And therefore, she has to go, leaving Elise the pie lady
still in the
Chico: Despite having a pie you can use to grit the pathway in the case of ice
Gordon: Apparently. And speaking of chicken, we have more chicken issues in
Kitchen. Like the people in Masterchef, we have some massive raw chicken issues,
Masterchef, Anton, who has failed on 2 teams, has to go.
Chico: Crazy ego could not produce. Simple as that. Classic problem of HK chefs
is that they're all talk.
Gordon: But thats what you want on the show - all talk and clearly delusional
Chico: And that's the risk you take when you're making good television… You want
someone you can mold into a great chef, and clearly Anton wasn't it.
Gordon: No. And Scott is probably leaving in a few episodes also. Also on FOX -
have some dancing
Chico: Time for another...*thunder clap*
Chico: So You think You can Dance is off to another rousing start
Gordon: It is, but let's be honest - are you watching for the new contestants,
or for the
crews that we have all seen before on other shows?
Chico: Well, given that the dancers have more or less failed to stand out, I'm
watching for the dance crews. Because the dance crews are actually pretty good…
Gordon: Me too, actually. Though I'm wondering why we're getting Breaksk8
Villains instead of the heavies of Dance Crews, like We Are Heroes and the
Jabberwockies. I hope that means we'll be seeing them later
Chico: They are probably saving them for later shows. You know, saving the best
for last and all that.
Gordon: Id like to think so. So far, we have talent shows of...blah. Let's
spread the love to something else, shall we?
Gordon: We start with...fighting.
Chico: (Punches shoulder)
Chico: Sorry. So tell me about TUF this week
Gordon: We're up to the semi-finals of UFC. In the Middle-weight division, you
have a clear favorite in Dhiego Lima, who is the only person in either bracket
to win via Submission.
Gordon: As for everyone else, Dana White has a meeting and is disgusted with
who's still there, asking them if they even want to be there. Keep in Mind what
White has to promote these guys, so if he finds that they are so lethargic that
they are unpomotable, that's a problem. So White offers $50,000 for the best win
in the next round, hoping to spur up
some action. Now you're Dana White. Do you make them continue or pull a remote
get new players for the second half of the season?
Chico: Well, if I'm Dana White, I'm thinking about potential. These guys clearly
have the ability. What they need is the drive. This $50,000 purse may just be
the thing to ignite the fight in the fight, and ignite the series. Because if
you think about it, it's not really helping Fox Sports 1 like it's supposed to.
Gordon: It better, because so far...boring. Well its giving Fox Sports
programming. They need more than just bland UFC fighters. Maybe they need, to
coin a sports term, the hand of God.
Chico: Maybe they need some of that action that GSN has been getting as of late.
Gordon: They may. Now Chico, do you have the current standings on this season's
Chico: I do.
Gordon: Go for it
Chico: First up, in episode 1, we have Words with Friends, Rhymz with Grace, and
Patrol. The Rhymz win by one. In episode 2, we play with Devoted Divas, Three
Wise women, and Sons of Thunder. And the Divas win by one. Then you have the
Bible Belts, who are karate kicking Godfearing warriors who win in Episode 3.
Followed by the Heartland Guards in episode 4.
Gordon: Any team look like they are the chosen ones?
Chico: Well, so far the battles have been really close. It could go to anyone.
like the moxie of the Bible Belts.
Gordon: Cool. And I like the Moxie of the hamsters, who have named their team
in a Manger'
Chico: Cute. Eve has her own team too. "Grumpy Dogmothers."
Gordon: Oooh Grumpy. Roll that Beautiful Brin Footage
Live, local, and latebreaking... From the four corners of the globe to
your frontal lobe, this is WLTI Brainvision News, and now here's Gordon Pepper,
Chico Alexander, and the award-winning Brainvision News Team)
Thanks, Doug. Okay, Gordon, I'm going to need... I'm going to need shoes. No
bats this week, it's World Cup week. I'm going to need shoes.
Gordon: (Gives Chico shoes and a ball)
Chico: (Dribbles ball)
Gordon: Umm...ok, sure...
Chico: Okay, it finally happened, and Jeopardy! has Julia Collins to thank.
For the first time since the Ken Jennings Reign of Terror, Jeopardy! has
supplanted Wheel of Fortune as the nation's most popular game show.
Gordon: Whoo hoo!
Chico: Wheel slid to a 6.1 last week, while Jeopardy! rose to a 6.4. The last
time J! beat Wheel, Millionaire was hosted by Meredith Vieira and posted in the
3s regularly, while Feud was facing cancellation (worst case scenario) with high
1s. Of course Feud nowadays isn't going anywhere, and Millionaire is the game
show on the ropes.
Gordon: Well its not really on the ropes. The ratings actually stayed the same
season. The question is can Terry Crews keep the numbers that way.
Chico: Well it can't get any worse.
Gordon: Sure it could, but let's not discuss that. Let's discuss the Datebook
Chico: Oh wait, it can. They can involve rising walls and big red balls.
On Friday we have Funniest Wins on TBS, then on Sunday we have Rising Star and
Chico: Wipeout is a guaranteed win. Rising Star is a 50/50. Funniest wins, I'm
you passed up on Match game for THIS?!
Gordon: I'd like to go to Canada to see more Match Game
Chico: Me too. Ideally from the first-chair token American seat.
Gordon: Agreed. but where are we going this week?
Chico: We are going to England, where we are sending one of ours and saying
an old friend.
First up, Frank Skinner & Sue Perkins will take the roles of Michael Ian Black
and DL Hughley as "Trust Me, I'm a Game Show Host" is picked up by ITV.
Gordon: How did that do on TBS again?
Chico: Again, you passed on Match game for THIS?! Second item... Say goodbye to
the Dictionary Corner Dictionary.
The Countdown staple is going all digital, so expect works like sexting,
twerking, and Haterade.
Gordon: And Whiteboards, though I think you have this week's edition.
Chico: I do. Staying in Europe...
Are YOU smarter than... Adriana Abenia, a model from Spain who got caught
cheating on their quiz show Pasapalabras when her phone vibrated and lit up in
between her legs.
Gordon: Oh baby.
Chico: And yes, Gordon... There's video.
Chico: Moral of the story: watch what you put between your legs.
Gordon: Because you don't want him between your legs. Ever.
Riot and Who Wants To Marry Harry have moved to FOX.com, so if you want to know
who the final girl selected is (before they break up 3 months down the line, if
they haven't done so already), go there.
Chico: What and what?
Gordon: Pretty much. Harry and his now cancelled friends need to get Fully
Chico: They have ample time now to converse with Mike Richards and Tiffany
Both are part of CBS Daytime's Daytime Emmy Tweetalong this week Of course you
can follow them respectively @MRichTV, @tiffanycoyne, and @cbsdaytime
Gordon: As now respected Media Hoes within the Game Show Community
Chico: And good people all around. (Luda)
In this week's Hodometer, J-Lo and Maks are NOT an item, Regis Philbin does
science, Paul Goebel (beats the Geeks) wants to Kickstart a Beat the Geeks
sequel...Tim Gunn wants plus sized models, Kathy Griffin hosts the online
and Casey Kasem passes at 82 years of age.
Gordon: But none of them are your hoes of the week.
Chico: Who have you?
Gordon: Your ho is Alex Trebek and Jeopardy is his mistress. The quiz show
moderator has now set the Guinness World Record for the most game show episodes
hosted by the same presenter of a single show.
Chico: The number: 6829. And counting
Gordon: And those...are your hoes.
Chico: And just as a quick heads up, the item with Casey Kasem broke as we were
doing the show. We will have a much more in-depth story next week. But for now,
that's Brainvision. G, please.
Gordon: (Shutting down)
Chico: Still to come... Sweet Jesus MORE toilet action! But first, four years
ago, we had the best 32 games in the world battle for the WLTI World Cup....And
this year, we're going to do it again. And I tell ya, the competition to qualify
was fierce. QI is a favorite of ours
and IT didn't even make the final 32
Gordon: It's Game Show Geekery in action. You're reading WLTI. You give us 22
we'll give you 22 game shows the USA men's team can go on after the World Cup.
Like a Family Feud special.
Chico: Or a special Showcase on TPIR. Drew loves futbol.
(Brainvision is powered by World Cup Wipeout, home of the Big Footballs. $25,000
is going to anyone who can score a gooooooooooooooooooooooooooooal!)