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Gordon: This is Gordon Pepper, and I never have a
problem with deflated balls. That's what the ladies tell me. Chico: This is Chico Alexander, Samesies. Jason: My balls are perfectly fine under pressure Gordon: But are they big balls? Chico: My balls are always the right size. Jason: I have the biggest balls of them all Chico: Okay, we've said balls enough for this season. Wait one more. Balls.
Okay. Needless to say, this is the ballsiest season opener yet, Jason: No, we can talk Wipeout Balls. Dodge Balls. Base-Balls (Hi Jim). Foot
Balls (Hi Carl) Chico: Basketballs. Hi Chico. Hi Chico. Because from the ballsiest place in
America, WLTI, Is.. On! Gordon: Yay! Jason: WHOO HOO! Chico: Welcome to another edition of the World's Strongest Game Show Webcast.
With Gordon Pepper, I'm Chico Alexander. We missed you. Did you miss us? With us
as always is our producer, panelist, and strength & conditioning coach Jason
Block. Jason: Yeah about that, we have a story later on that will either confirm
suspicions or blow people's minds. Chico: we'll get to that. Right now, though respect must be paid to three
notables we lost over the holiday break. Jason: (removes hats) Chico: First, and perhaps most painful for our generation was the passing of
ESPN Sportscenter & and go-to sports game show host Stuart Scott. Gordon: Scott, one of the legends at ESPN, was arguably one of the best sports
game show hosts ever. Jason: Stu was to a lot of people the Howard Cosell of our generation. He hosted
Stump the Schwab Chico: He brought the vision of the stodgy old sports presenter and brought it
to the level of guys like us. That served him well as host of Dream Job, Stump
the Schwab, and the why-did-you-even-ESPN game Teammates. Jason: He was very very good Chico: Yep. Garnered a lot of respect in his field by being himself. Gordon: Very much so. He is the standard that a lot of up and coming reporters
are measuring themselves to. Jason: And honestly, most of them CANT hold themselves too Gordon: Agreed. Chico: But perhaps his most shining moment was last year at the ESPYs with his
stirring speech as he accepted the year's Jimmy V Perseverance Award. that
showed us how genuine he was.
Jason: And at that, he was sick. Chico: Incredibly. I mean you could see the toll that chemo was taking on his
body. Jason: But he tried HARD to fight this ******* cancer. Chico: He did. Fought it three times. That took balls. Jason: But as he said, he didn't lose, do you have that quote? Chico: I have the quote,
"When you die, it does not mean that you lose to cancer. You beat cancer by how
you live, why you live, and in the manner in which you live. So live. Fight like
hell, and when you get too tired to fight, lay down and rest and let someone
else fight for you."
Chico: So that's one. Then we lost one of the quintessential panelists of all
time in Bess Myerson. Jason: A true NY Figure that went National Gordon: She was a legend on the Eastern Corridor. Chico: The first Jewish Miss America, right? Jason: Yes. And only,.a BIG deal in 1945 Chico: Yep. And that translated well to the early games produced in NYC.
What's My Line,. To Tell the Truth, And the show for which she's most known,
I've Got a Secret Gordon: She was the face that launched a thousand products Jason: And led to being consumer affairs commissioner. She ran for Senate in
1980 and dated Ed Koch (the Mayor of NYC) for a bit. Chico: Ended up retiring to a much quieter life devoted to her passions. Jason: And the last one? Chico: The last one, a comic who bragged about "being on The Dating Game 13
times without being picked." Taylor Negron, a star of stage and screen, died of
cancer at age 57. He was known for comedic timing. He landed on some kids fare
as well as Curb Your Enthusiasm and Reno 911. That, of course, led to
appearances on Hollywood Squares, Pictionary, and The Dating Game. He was our
generation's quintessential "That Guy from That Thing". Jason: You look at him and say I know him. Chico: Yes. I believe I have a clip of him on Pictionary. This was the version
from 1997 with Alan Thicke hosting.
Jason: Nice. Chico: The others in that clip, Erik Estrada, Victoria Rowell, and a lady we'll
talk about later in the show, but for now, let us salute our fallen friends. May
we please have a moment of silence. Jason: (silence) Chico: Thank you. Now it's time, usually, we have a single baseball bat for
business and industry items. Right now, I need, a whole batrack. Jason: (rolls in the Batrack) Here you go Chico: Because January had the two weeks between TCA and NATPE that will shape
the rest of the year. I need a big board,
The Big January
- NATPE & Reality Breakthrough Awards
- Fremantle Media
- Boom!
- Sky Vision
- Love Connection?
Chico: This is called The Big January. First thing's first.. This NATPE had the
first Reality Breakthrough Awards. The pertinent winners, Shark Tank and
Hollywood Game Night. Jason: Two very good shows Gordon: I didn't like them as much as you do, but they are both solid shows. Chico: Another winner - FremantleMedia. For three reasons. 1) Family Feud is
heading to the Caribbean. 2) My Mom Cooks Better Than Yours. And 3), Buzzr TV.
Taking the FremantleMedia classic library (which consists of Goodson-Todman,
Grundy, LMAD, and PYL) and turning them into a digital subnetwork. Fox TV
Stations have already signed on, and more are forthcoming through deals brokered
by Debmar-Mercury. Jason: Very interesting, what does this mean for GSN? Chico: It means that GSN may have some holes that need to be filled. Most of
their schedule has the Harvey Feud (which isn't part of the Buzzr package yet)
Meanwhile Boom! is heading to Chile before it heads to the US this summer. Jason: Boom, or BOMB? Chico: It's Fox during the summer. What do you think? Jason: (BOMB) Gordon: I have the fuses ready. Chico: Sky Vision is launching 1000 Heartbeats and Relatively Clever. And trying
to pry their way into syndication this fall: The Hollywood Squares and Love
Conneciton. Remember, just because they're on the agenda for the convention is
no guarantee that they are going to be on the schedule. Jason: Of course. Chico: And Loni Love hosting Love Connection, umm, well, we know Loni is funny,
so was Pat Bullard. Just saying. Jason: (shudder) Loni Love is on the Real too. BFD Chico: Yeah. So that's all you need to know right now. If we get anything more,
you'll hear about it on our Twitter, @wltiongsnn, of course. Next, we're
venturing into your realm of expertise, Gordon - midseason reality. First up,
Chico: First, the story so far on, The Celebrity Apprentice. The only show in
Donald Trump's universe that matters. Gordon: The show doesn't matter. Chico: So far, there've been four episodes and seven firings. Some were for
valid reasons, and some were just me saying "What the hell, man?" to Trump
Trump's rationale. Question to the braintrust. You don't speak to someone and
haven't since 1992. Do you call them asking for money? Jason: If it helps to win money..hell yes. Gordon: If it's call them or get canned, you call them. Chico: That's why Keshia Knight Pulliam got fired, because she didn't use her
connections to Bill Cosby...no, not like that. Jason: This was BEFORE all THAT. Chico: We know. Then Kevin Jonas was fired for trying to game the system. In his
task, Kevin, Geraldo Rivera, and Ian Ziering were brought to the board room to
answer for their losing Neat Cloud campaign, rather than Lorenzo Lamas, who was
responsible for the actual theme of the campaign. Jason: Got it. Chico: So that makes sense. Gilbert Gottfried was sent packing for, well, being
Gilbert Gottfried. So that makes sense, too. Jamie Anderson was fired for not
bringing back Brandi Glanville in a failed bid for a Cosmo fitness advert. And
for thinking that Donald Trump was Martha Stewart. Long story. Jason: OUCH. Chico: Terrell Owens literally asked for it. Jason: He usually does Chico: And this week. Try and follow me here. Jason: Alright. Gordon: Zzzzz.... Chico: Hush. Sent to the boardroom: Vivica A. Fox, Kate Gosselin, and PM Shawn
Johnson. The task: produce an outdoor experience for Ivanka's new shoe brand
with a mobile display.
The judges on this task were Donald, Ivanka, and Joan Rivers (Rest in peace).
Vivica admitted that Shawn was a strong competitor, but Mr. Trump thought that
Kate made more of an effort while Shawn laid low. Trump ended up firing Shawn.
Happy birthday, lady, Jason: Geez. Chico: Next, the teams had to produce viral videos for Chock Full o'Nuts.
Apparently innuendo and weak brand message makes for a better viral video. Jason: Of course they do Chico: Lorenzo, rather than take two people back with him to the boardroom,
takes full responsibility for the task and in effect fires himself. Now
something we've always said on this show, NEVER FALL ON YOUR OWN SWORD. Jason: of course not Chico: Vivica told him that Kate deserved to be fired for being the weakest
member of the team. So, Would you fall on your own sword in this case? Because
it seems like Vivica has it in against Kate for some reason. Jason: No Chico: Correct answer, J. Because I may get fired, I may not. I do know the
math: a 1 in 3 shot of getting fired is better than a 1 in 1 show. Jason: This happens in a lot of shows. NEVER VOLUNTEER YOURSELF. Gordon: Because it's an easy way out for anyone else who's thinking 'Anyone but
me'. Chico: Bingo. But we can volunteer ourselves for some Jeopardy!,
Chico: Now it's 2015. The last tournament of champions was what, two months
past? Jason: November 2014 yes Chico: Already we have three contenders for the next TOC. And they all happened
one after the other. Jason: Pretty much. Chico: First up was Vaughn Winchell, who had a heck of a New Year's Eve, winning
over $103,000 in five days. He was beaten by Elliot Yates, who won $65,000 in
four. And HE was beaten by John Schultz, who won $104,500 in five. Needless to
say if this keeps up, spaces in the big dance are going to be going at a
premium. Jason: You ain't kidding Chico: We may have a case where there is a four-day champion who does not make
it to the tournament. Sorry to bring that up, Jay. I know it's still a fresh
memory. Jason: Grrrrrrr LOL 15 years Gordon: He's still suffering from asthma 15 years later. Jason: And this is a side effect of said asthma (flips the bird) Chico: Heh. But perhaps even more interesting is something that happened this
week. It was on the Thursday show. We have returning champion Will Anderson
taking on Maggie Schreiter and Todd Coleman Jason: Bring it Chico: Going into the final, we have Will playing the ultimate spoiler with
$1800. I say ultimate, because both Maggie and Todd have $7400.
So what it amounts to is a $7400 game of chicken. The folks at J-Archive call it
"the prisoner's dilemma". Maggie and Todd can stare each other down and bet it
all and hope for an easy clue. Will doesn't have to bet a thing, nor should he. Jason: Nope Chico: The Final Jeopardy! category.. Candy Yummy!
An early TV ad for this candy bar featured a fleur-de-lis flag & a song with the
lyrics "fun for all"
Chico: Jason, your response please Jason: What is Three Musketeers? Chico: Gordon? Gordon: What is the Swinging Hedonism Candy bar? Fun for all! Jason: Hey now! Chico: Oh baby Gordon: You can use that bar for more than eating, you know. Chico: Ok then! As usual Jason is correct and Gordon is depraved Gordon: You wish you had that much fun. Chico: I do. Will didn't have to bet a thing. He doesn't. Funny thing happened,
They BOTH got it wrong Jason: Exactly. Chico: And they both bet everything! Jason: Yup they did Chico: Had they both got it right, we'd have co-champions. Instead, Will wins
another game. Gordon: Do we have any left over dirty rugs from the New year's Eve party? Chico: Yep Jason: They get a couple of them
Gordon: Still see the eggnog Chico: Speaking of dirty, This next story could perhaps be the dirtiest story
the Biggest Loser has ever faced. One that could eventually devolve into a case
of he said she said. Jason: Go on. Chico: Who here remembers Kai Hibbard? Gordon: I do! Chico: She won season 3. Jason: OK Chico: But the price she had to pay to get there promoted this from an interview
with the New York Post. Just a heads up that the language used is really, Real. Jason: Got it
“The whole f- -king show is a fat-shaming disaster that I’m embarrassed to have
participated in."
Gordon: That would be harsh.
"You just think you’re so lucky to be there, that you don’t think to question or
complain about anything.”
Chico: She goes on to say that during sequester for that season (which had 50
contestants instead of the usual 15) she could not leave her hotel room for five
days. Gordon: Oh the horror. Jason: Gordon, may I play cynical bastard with you? Gordon: Sure can. Plenty of room in the elevator. Chico: And if you did make it to the ranch, you could not call home. One
contestant had a sick child in the ICU but couldn't contact the family for fear
of being cast out of the show.
“I know that one of the contestants’ children became very ill and was in the
ICU,” Hibbard says. “He was allowed to talk to his family — but he didn’t want
to leave, because the show would have been done with him.”
Chico: Okay, the worst is the actual process. Hibbard states,
"They would say things to contestants like, ‘You’re going die before your
children grow up.’ ‘You’re going to die, just like your mother.’ ‘We’ve picked
out your fat-person coffin’ — that was in a text message. One production
assistant told a contestant to take up smoking because it would cut her appetite
in half."
Jason: (plays the worlds smallest violin) Chico: Then there was the food. Now if you're trying to lose weight, which we've
all tried and succeeded, You want to go with vegetables, lean proteins, whole
grains in moderation, stuff like that. You also want to take in 1200-1500, 1600
calories a day, right? Gordon: Depending on weight. Keep in mind that to lose a pound, you need to take
in 2,500 less than what you give out. Chico: Friend of mine eats 150 grams of protein a day and can do things with her
hands that most people do with their feet. Jason: The point? Chico: The diet given to the contestants, says Hibbard, is sponsor-provided with
little to no nutritional value. And they end up taking in less than 1000
calories a day. At rest, your body burns a calorie a minute. That's 1440
calories a day. A 30 minute jog is another 500 calories, Eating less than 1000
calories a day will shut down your metabolism. And since many of the alleged
products are processed, there's more damage that can do. Then there's the injury
that comes from exercising so hard for so long. Bad knees, Rhabdo, Kidney
damage, List goes on and on. Then, and as a medical professional this is the one
that gets me, The doctor prescribes electrolytes, The trainer says you can't
have those, "Don’t drink that — it’ll put weight on you. You’ll lose your last
chance to save your life." Am I missing something here? My trainer has a medical
degree now? As you can see, the list of malfeasance goes on and on so much so
that Dave Broome, the EP of the show had to get personally involved, saying...
"It's been hard to sit back and listen to an attack and not come out and call
afoul, but I have done that for many years. I've held back for many years on
this because I didn't want to give it any credence or credibility. But I think
at this point we just feel like there needs to be a balance with this story."
"We put together an incredible medical team of doctors, nutritionists and
therapists. You name it we've had it and continue to evolve [our supervised
care],"
Chico: He says he has the backing of over 300 TBL contestants, Some I imagine
signed the same gag order that Kai did. Jason, your thoughts? Jason: I think she is a crybaby who needs to stfu. This is a money grab pure and
simple, and you signed that agreement. She should be sued Gordon: I'm going to be blunt. Chico: You're going to be more blunt than that, G? God help us . Gordon: Dear Biggest Loser contestants.....
You are in the situation that you are in because you screwed up your bodies for
20-60 years. You are asking to undo what you have done through your avarice and
stupidity for all this time - maybe your enitre life - in 6 months.
You would have to think going in that this isn't going to be a pleasure cruise.
This is a complete reform, from your body to your mind to make sure you keep the
weight off. You have a chance to make $250,000 or $100,000 or lots of other
various sponsors that are providing the foods that you are eating for being
stupid for most of your life.
And for that, you should be able to handle a little injury, a little
psychological wall building and some life intrusion to help you out of a mess
that you got yourself into and more over, that you are willingly put yourself
through.
No one made you eat the cake. No one is making you eat the products you are
given. No one is making you outside of the tv show do anything you don't want to
do in terms of food or exercise. And the most important part is that no one made
you sign the contract that allows you to be on the show as you self-exploit
yourself for health and profit.
So the Hell you are going through is the one you created for yourself to begin
with. Get over it.
Love, Gordon. Chico: Okay, my turn now, Gordon's 100 percent correct. Nobody made you out of
shape. You did that to yourself. Now you're made to undo it yourself. That
said... Jason: There is NO That said. Chico: Well, the problem I have.. And I have a similar problem with Americna
Idol...They're not in this business to help people make healthy life decisions.
Or make good music. They're in this to make good television. If someone loses a
crap load of weight, Or about 15 craploads, Rachel Frederickson, good for them.
But you are basically whittling six months down to 26 hours. Something's has to
give. The way I see it, there's Kai's story, there's the producer's story, and
then there's the chasm of darkness and despair in the middle called the truth
that gets edited out. Ultimately, it's an ends-justifying-the-means deal. Yes
you can go the safe route and balance exercise with diet,. But does that make
for good television? No. At the end of the day, you are a televised competition
for a prize incentive, not a gym membership. In short, Name me one person whose
hands aren't dirty from all of this. Jason: None. Gordon: but that includes the contestants. The contestants aren't the victims
here. They are willing pawns. Chico: There aren't any victims here (unless you count viewers thinking that
this is how it's done). There's transgressors and collateral damage. Jason: The only way this show goes off the air if someone dies. We have said
this for years Gordon: I don't even think that will happen. Chico: Yep. And we'll keep saying it until God forbid it happens. Gordon: But these are the same people who blames American Idol for their
success. And we'll be getting to that on the next episode. Chico: Got too big too fast but we'll get to that. Right now I'm going for a few
laps on the hamster wheel. Gordon: Don't step on the...
(squeak)
Gordon: Too late. Jason: DUDE! Gordon: Cheeseball is ok. Just a tail wound (carts him off the wheel) Chico: Sorry, Sorry!!! Gordon: Ok, while Im dressing up the tail, Roll That Beautiful Brain Footage.
(Doug:
Live, local, and latebreaking... From the four corners of the globe to
your frontal lobe, this is WLTI Brainvision News, and now here's Gordon Pepper,
Chico Alexander, and the award-winning Brainvision News Team)
Chico: Thanks Doug. We're going to start with, A basketball? Jason: (starting singing Sweet Georgia Brown) THINK QUICK! (passes to Chico) Chico: (Gets hit in the face) not the Kevin Harlan pass! Jason: I warned you
Andrew Glassman and LeBron James are launching a team game that gives
contestants life-changing amounts of money. Yes, THAT LeBron James.
Gordon: Really? Jason: Damn. Chico: You think you have what it takes, go to dreamchancetv.com Gordon: Really? Chico: It will only be the second production to come from LeBron's production
shingle. The first being the loosely autobiographical Survivor's Remorse on
Starz. Speaking of remorse, Gordon has the calm before the storm in the Datebook. Jason: Right. Chico: The week after next is the February sweep. What's coming up this week? Gordon: Here's what we got for this week:
King of the Nerds: Season 3
on Friday. on January 26 (BOO), Ellen's Design Challenge and
Mud, Sweat & Gears on January 27, the new season of The Chase and Wizard Wars on
January 29 and Duff 'till Dawn on January 30.
Chico: The Chase is the best quiz show you're not watching , If you are not one
of the 750,000 people who make it Tuesday night appointment TV. And if you
aren't, WHATS WRONG WIRH YOU! Anyway, we'll talk about all of the shows on the
next show. Right now let's get loaded Jason: (HIC)
The Double Down casino app for iOS is adding a Wheel of Fortune slot.
Jason: Not shocking since they are involved synergistically Chico: Because if you go into any casino in Amerixa, you're going to see a Wheel
of Fortune slot Gordon: WOF and The Price is Right are so popular that they have over 10
variations of each slot machine showing up all over the place. Chico: And LMAD PYL and DOND are not far off Gordon: No they aren't. Those are all smart ideas. Here's a dumb one.
Are YOU Smarter than...Lorenzo Lamas, who brought himself back into the
Boardroom to be fired and brought no one else with him.
Chico: This is the sword. This pineapple is you, Lorenzo. (Drops pineapple on
sword, pineapple cuts in half) Jason: OUCH Gordon: Despite everyone asking for Kate Gosselin's head on a platter.
Lorenzo beheaded himself. Chico: And this is us, eating fresh juicy wedges of you Jason: mmmmm, juicy Gordon: Lovely. Goes well with Haterade Margarita Jason: (puts down mug)
As expected, Joan Rivers' daughter Melissa is going through a complete lawsuit
against the surgical group that allegedly brought about her mom's passing.
Jason: Not a shock and very sad. Chico: Mmhmm Gordon: Very much so. I hope the group is fully loaded. Chico: Lawyered Jason: That too! Chico: Let's go on a trip. Jason: Where to? Chico: We handled the serious stuff so let's have some fun in Japan. Jason: ok
Street Fighter 2 had one of the best side games in all of arcade-dom. The one
where you have to smash a car.
Jason: Right Chico: Someone in Japan turned it into a game show. Jason: HA! Chico: Here's the original,
Gordon: We should attach media hoes to that car. Jason: Agreed! Thats nuts Chico: And we should remind you, Don't do this on your car or anyone else's.
(Luda)
In this week's Media Ho Report, it's the traditional Super Bowl silliness, which
I'm not going to bother wasting space on, but imagine media hoes who are
planning to attend the event - and who did attend it.
Jason: Ha! Gordon: But none of them are your hoes of the week. Jason: Who is it? Gordon: Joan Rivers. She was on a few shows this week, just reminding us of her
talent before she passed. Jason: (sadness) Gordon: And those...are your hoes. Chico: Indeed. That's Brainvision. Shut it down please and thanks Jason: (shutting down( Chico: Alright, still to come, Winter is the season for premieres, And toilets.
Heading into the break, here's one more look at Joan Rivers on the Apprentice.
Chico: You're reading WLTI. You give us 22 minutes.. Gordon: And we'll give you 22 new years resolutions that have already been
broken by the majority of Americans. Mine was I shall not make fun of North
Carolina Athletics. Chico: You never stood a chance. Gordon: Nope.
(BrainVision has been brought to you by Kentucky Fried Panthers. This week's
flavor: Seahawk Bisque Medley. You can smell the Pacific in the wind as you see
your team get throttled. That's Kentucky Fried Panthers: We put the ink in
Stink.)
(
Andrew Glassman and LeBron James are launching a team game that gives
contestants life-changing amounts of money. Yes, THAT LeBron James.
King of the Nerds: Season 3
on Friday. on January 26 (BOO), Ellen's Design Challenge and
Mud, Sweat & Gears on January 27, the new season of The Chase and Wizard Wars on
January 29 and Duff 'till Dawn on January 30.
The Double Down casino app for iOS is adding a Wheel of Fortune slot.
Are YOU Smarter than...Lorenzo Lamas, who brought himself back into the
Boardroom to be fired and brought no one else with him.
As expected, Joan Rivers' daughter Melissa is going through a complete lawsuit
against the surgical group that allegedly brought about her mom's passing.
Street Fighter 2 had one of the best side games in all of arcade-dom. The one
where you have to smash a car.
In this week's Media Ho Report, it's the traditional Super Bowl silliness, which
I'm not going to bother wasting space on, but imagine media hoes who are
planning to attend the event - and who did attend it.