Remember that plan that the house had to backdoor James? Remember how he was supposed to be a non-issue three weeks ago? Well, if it was any other house, with an average IQ of about 156, then that would be the case. But as is the case with previous seasons, we have a house full of morons. Instead of going through the plan, Rachel won the power of veto and took herself off the block, only for Jennifer to send Kaysar BACK into danger's eye.

Tonight is night 47 in the house o'love, and Julie is going to give us yet another secret... this week will be a double-elimination week. Now I was at Disneyland while this was airing in the East Coast, so I have to thank Quisla (my sister) and the fine folks at Fans of Reality TV for filling in the gaps while I was away. Basic premise, we vote someone out, then HOH competition, then another nomination, and then two days from now, another live eviction... or tape delay, I don't really know for sure.

Let's go back through the week, though, as Kaysar has lost all respect for Jennifer and the way she plays the game. James, thinking that he was going to be rodded this week, is mentally giving the old ATGS Invision Salute (see "Whew!", 1979). Meanwhile, the Friendship said that Jennifer did the right thing putting Kaysar back on the block. Immediately, he confronts Jennifer on her lies, while she has nothing much to say other than "you won't believe anything I say from now on." ... Yeah. That's about right.

April's defense of Jennifer's action? "All of their side is to blame". And how? Well, let's examine the next X-factor, Howie, who points out that April never won an eve, and her possibility of winning half a mill has gone the way of the dodo bird, the 3DO, and the Donny Osmond version of "Pyramid". Her response? "I don't care, put me up!" Howie replies by promising that she'll be stuck with him either in the BB House or the Jury House (yeah, remember that? About that time, isn't it?). April remains defiant. Howie throws down the gauntlet, saying that if they play dirty, he'll play dirty, and then something about a hurricane, which in the context given, is probably piss poor. April calls him an "idiot," and Janelle, quick to Howie's side, says that "at least he doesn't look like a liar". Howie puts up his own battle, challenging April to just win once. And as usual, she doesn't care.

You can tell she's only in it for the chicken, can't you? UNTIL you bring the husband and the dog into the fray. Now it's all 'bout business. April calls the low blow sad and then prays on the toilet. Well, at least she isn't praying to the porcelain throne.

Then Rachel calls Janelle "beautiful" (*ding!*) and Maggie "a bitch" (*ding!*), all in a piece entitled "When Keeping It Real Goes Wrong." Janelle sees no more need to be nice to "them", as she says that Jennifer looks like "a clown" (*ding!*), to which Jen replies, "I don't care what you think, Janelle." April then calls Janelle "drunk" (*STRIKE*), and Janelle calls April "a gold-digging bitch" (*ding!*). April thinks that Janelle knows she's a slut... Well, if you look at the intro piece with Janelle serving cocktails in a negligee of some sort...

Meanwhile, Janelle calls Beau a "whore whore whore" (*STRIKE*), Beau says that Janelle has "polyester hair" (jury's still out on that one), and Janelle says that Beau dates older men. Ivette listens and assesses that Beau gets wild when he has teh drinks, and that Janelle is walking the diva's walk. "They're pretty much telling the truth about each other, but no drunk wants to hear the truth about themselves."

While we're at it, Gordon (my partner-in-crime) needs to stop calling me at odd hours of the morning, the ER needs to stop calling me every 10 seconds, and Kathleen (my significant other) just needs to start calling me.

Anyway, back to this round of "To Tell the Truth". Janelle & Beau's little rivalry evolves into a screaming fit that eventually gets broken up by Kaysar and Howie. Beau ends it with "You polyester hair bitch!" That's one for the quote file... Howie tells Janelle she did a good job. Of what? I'll let Ivette explain to Beau on that one. Turns out that he just made himself a target.

Meanwhile, Howie & Janelle talk to April, who is now being called "Busto" for being a "busted blonde". Does anyone know what language these people are speaking, because I DON'T KNOW! Anywho, after Howie goes on about April not being able to compete without her smokes, April goes on about Howie not being able to compete without his fingers (he's missing a pinky). And the April love-fest continues as he mocks her in the Diary Room... and her little dog, too.

Let's talk with the current HOH. Why did Jennifer go back on her word with Kaysar? She wanted the deal to be off when they didn't let go of their buttons immediately. Nice save... except that it isn't. She says that putting up Kaysar is a good decision albeit one that shocked her. Julie, who displays why she got the job at the Early Show, presses Jennifer about lying in the house. She never ruled it out, and she points out that it doesn't say in the rule book that you can't lie. That and she wanted to step it up a notch.

Now it's eviction time... Kaysar, once again standing (what is with this guy and standing?), thanks America for putting him back in the house and apologizes for what happened this week, what happened with the HOH, potentially getting kicked out, and oh, let's just throw in the entire relationship up to this point. Janelle thanks her friends and family for watching, and then points out that she has not lied or deceived anyone in this game. "Look where it's gotten me once again. However, if I leave this house tonight, I leave with a clear conscience, and to me that's worth way more than $500,000."

Now to the results...

"By a unanimous vote... Kaysar, you are evicted from the Big Brother House." Again?! Well, to say that I'm surprised would be... a lie. So why is Kaysar back at Home Base? "I trusted the untrustworthy." Not more need be said. You made the same mistake that got you kicked out in the first place, only this time, there's no going back.

HOH Competition: Face the Facts

Each player will be asked questions about past competitions. Answers will either be Eric, Ashlea, Michael, Sarah, or none. Wrong answer is a "buh-bye". Last one standing wins HOH.

1) Which evicted houseguest won the "Sold Out" competition to watch the film "Four Brothers"? Correct: Sarah. All in with the right answer.
2) In the veto competition "High & Dry", which houseguest finished in second place? Correct: Michael. All right again.
3) In the food competition "Snack Shack From Hell", which houseguest ate the snails and noodles? Correct: None. Maggie eliminated.
4) In the food competition "Will Spell For Food" who passed on the word jalapeno? Correct: Sarah. All right.
5) After the HOH competition "Majority Rules" which houseguest handed over the HOH key to Kaysar? Correct: Eric. All right again.
6) In the veto competition "Rectangle" which evicted houseguest untangled the orange rope? Correct: Ashlea. Both Howie & Ivette are eliminated.
7) Which evicted houseguest misspelled two words in the food competition "Will Spell For Food?" Correct: None. James (who answered Sarah, thus proving that he doesn't know JACK about his girlfriend) and Rachel are eliminated, leaving Beau, Janelle, and April. So let's play... SUDDEN DEATH!

How many lightbulbs did it take to spell "Sold out" in the luxury competition? Beau has 175. Janelle has 275. April has 145. Actual retail price... 286. Janelle is the new HOH!

That power comes with perks for about, oh, all of 48 hours, because, along with being able to flip off any houseguest of her choosing, Janelle must nominate two people for eviction... right now. The houseguests get the news while Janelle is nominating. Howie can't contain his excitement, so James, which we surprisingly didn't hear much of this episode, contains it for him. Janelle returns to the living room with her decision...

End result, the "bitch" and the "clown" are now on the block. Meaning that Saturday night, Jennifer or Maggie will be heading to the jury house. Unless there's a veto employed. Then it's anyone's guess. Hurry-up offense starts next time.