Gordon: This is Gordon Pepper, and I left
Maryland to come here. I may be going back to the Game Show Marathon (if you
haven't donated, please do so NOW). Now Chico Alexander, my brother from another
mother, is my friend. He will be my enemy on Sunday at 2am. Isn't that right, my
frenemy?
Chico: That is correct. And it's also correct that while Gordon is good at a lot
of things... bowling... poker... singing... word games is surprisingly not his
strongest suit.
Gordon: It's one of my stronger ones, as you will find out.
Chico: We shall see. Well be seeing a lot of things this week as from somewhere
in America, the power of two edition of WLTI... it's on!
Gordon: Gordon here, along with Chico, and this week's subject is the best of
Frenemies, as we shall see as we start with...
Gordon: This has been a fun, if not unpredictable season
Chico: We're down to five. Two fans, three favorites. Now its a matter of who
plays whom and how they get to the end. We have Eddie, Cochran, Erik, Sherri,
and Dawn. Perhaps the best five of the season, now the last five left.
Gordon: And as this point, we play our favorite game...Big Board pease?
Survivor: Who Wins If
- Eddie: If he gets to the end, he wins
- Cochran: If he gets to the end before Eddie, he wins
- Erik: If something happens to Eddie AND Cochran, she wins.
- Dawn and Sherri.... Baaaaaaa!
|
Gordon: The Subject: WHo Wins If...And I'm going
to start with Eddie. This is the one person you do NOT want against you in the
jury. If he gets to the end, he wins. He's got all of the Fans votes and all he
has to do is flip a favorite, which will be Corinne, who hates Cochran.
Chico: I agree. He never burned bridges and he's a physical threat. He is the
LAST person you want in the final against you. He's what we call a darn nice guy
Gordon: He is - and he's played the game. The other major game player in the
group is Cochran. If he gets there and Eddie doesn't, Cochran wins.
Chico: Indeed. Lets think about this for a moment. If Eddie doesn't make it and
Cochran does... who does that leave? Dawn, Sherri, and Erik.
Gordon: Sheep, Sheep, McNugget
Chico: Heh.
Gordon: You can call Eddie Ronald McDonald and Cochran the Burger King.
Chico: Basically. You're NEVER going to get THIS jury to vote for any three of
them UNLESS they were made to. If something were to happen to Cochran AND
Eddie... then maybe... MAYBE... Erik has a shot.
Gordon: Agreed. But what if they had to. Where's your vote going?
Chico: Erik. Sherri is sketch city.
Gordon: I think of the three, Erik wins because he was the least egregious.
Chico: And so is Dawn for that matter. NO ONE IS THAT NICE!
Gordon: That being said, if they don't get rid of both Eddie and Cochran, they
have no shot.
Chico: Bingo. So that said, Eddie and Cochran emerge as the favorites. We will
see who takes it next week. We'll also see who takes American Idol next week..
but... if you listen closely...
(KABOOM!)
Gordon: (Hands Chico cleansing detergent)
Chico: That was not the story of the week.
Gordon: No it's not. And the fact that we don't care about Idol is contributing
to the Idol story of the week.
Chico: Right. See, usually we'd go to the tale of the tape and see who has the
better shot at it lyrically and demographically...
Gordon: But who cares? We know Candice is going to win.
Chico: Yes. But then a report came out this week that basically said that if it
is indeed true, Fox is expected to exercise the nuclear option.
Gordon: I would believe it. The juicy story is that the powers that be has
gotten rid of ALL FOUR judges AND Producer Nigel Lythgoe. The judges this
year...for lack of a better word...suck. And Lythgoe, who made this the campaign
to get a female winner at the expense of talent and ratings, should also be
shown the gate.
Chico: I don't disagree. I saw the writings on the wall and all season I was
saying... the die is cast at audition.
Gordon: We were both saying it. With the competition that strong in vocal
auditions, you CAN'T go after personal wishes here. You need to find the BEST
talent and use it, NOT tell a story or get the best female vocal in there.
Chico: Another thing we like to say: its the game stupid! We're seeing the end
of Idol as we know it.
Gordon: It is. You have to get the best vocalist. Every group post
Simon/Paula/Randy has failed at this. And maybe some producers need to be
replaced as well.
Chico: All in all, there's going to be a summer of soul searching... wondering
what went wrong and who's to blame for the stinky baby...
Gordon: Shakira just had a baby and it's not stinky. Segue!
Gordon: We have our final 12 on The Voice. Our favorite, Judith Hill, is still
there. Is she still your favorite?
Chico: Still MY favorite. Don't count out Danielle Bradbery though.
Gordon: I'll add Amber Carrington, but Judith is still my favorite also.
Chico: She's another good one. Then there's Baylor Band lady. She's on team
Blake. Them again its supermarket sweep for him this year because he's got an
all country team.. And they're all really good This is gonna be a good final.
Gordon: They are, so we'll see how this is heading. I also see how The Celebrity
Apprentice is heading...downwards.
Gordon: Your finalists are Penn Jillette and Trace Adkins, as correctly
prophesized by Adkins 2 months ago. Who wins?
Chico: I gotta go with Penn.
Gordon: I do too. He's out performed Trace Adkins this season.
Chico: I mean, Trace has a good business acumen but as you know, those types
NEVER win.
Gordon: The important thing to note here is that this series has the LOWEST
rankings of all the Celebrity Apprentice shows. Keep this in mind later on. it's
important. Also important - Jeopardy, because I need some knowledge after
feeling my brain evaporate from watching too much Celebrity Apprentice.
Chico: Oh Gordon... that reality TV is gonna kill ya.
Gordon: Maybe.
TOURNAMENT EDITION
Gordon: This week we start the College Tournament, which is one of my favorite
times of year. Indeed. 15 of the best college students in the nation hit j! up
for $100k and a shot at a quarter mill later. No Dukies or UNC players in this batch to make it to the final 9, but
we'll still get enjoyment out of it somehow.
Chico: Georgia Tech is in. So the ACC is well represented. Lets take a look at
the field.
J! College: The Rundown
- Monday: Trevor pulls the upset.
- Tuesday: Either Kristen or Jed
- Wednesday: Nishanth or Jim
- WINNER...
Trevor or Jim
|
Monday: Trevor Walker vs. Daniel Donohue vs. Hannah Shoenhard.
Chico: Now Hannah was a winner in her game, but Trevor was a beast.
Gordon: Trevor was, and I think he pulls off the upset
Chico: I agree. Next....
Tuesday: Kristen Jolley vs. Jed Silver vs. Cindy Cammarn.
Chico: Cindy won, but it was a low scoring affair. Cant happen again. Wont
happen again, I'm giving it to Kristen.
Gordon: I'm going to go with Jed.
Chico: Have to split it up somehow.
Wednesday: Julia Sprangers vs. Jim Court vs. Nishanth Uli.
Gordon: I'll go with Nishanth here.
Chico: Jim won his game but it was on the back of someone else... but I like how
he plays. He plays Jeopardy with tiger blood in his veins...Either of them could
take it. So who wins the whole thing?
Gordon: Since we do so well going with the favorites (NOT), I'll say Trevor.
Chico: I'm going to go with ... lets say JIM. Trevor is smart. Jim is gutsy.
Fortune favors the bold.
Gordon: We'll see if we are right next week. Now. Finally, let's go dancing.
Gordon: We mourn the loss of Sean Lowe from the competition. Chico is very sad.
Can't you see his sadness?
Chico: ....Some people just can't dance... and the ABC corporate canvass can only
do so much! Especially with a footballer, a dancing actress, and Kellie Pickler's
breasts still in the mix.
Gordon: And a Soap Opera star and an Olympian. We have 5 celebrities and only 4
spots left. Who's not going to make the finals?
Chico: The soap opera star. Again, the ABC canvass can only do so much
Gordon: Yeah. I think Ingo has to go. The hamsters are doing the hamster trot.
Chico: Cute. And Amanda is getting dipped. Let's dip into some news shall we?
Gordon: We shall. Roll that Beautiful Brain Footage
(Doug:
Live, local, and latebreaking... From the four corners of the globe to
your frontal lobe, this is WLTI Brainvision News, and now here's Gordon Pepper,
Chico Alexander, and the award-winning Brainvision News Team)
Chico: We start with an abridged Datebook.
This week: So You Think You Can Dance debuts after the
coronation of Candice on
Idol. Meanwhile, we get the end of Survivor and DWTS and we crown a Jeopardy!
College Champion.
Chico: We also get CNBC's new series Crowd Rules with Pat Kiernan.
Gordon: ... As well as the Debuts of Crowd Rules and Big Break Mexico
Chico: Reading. Every. Line. Like. This.
Gordon: ZZZZZZZZZzzzzzzzzz...here's a bat to wake the sleeping viewers with.
(Gives Chico a bat)
Chico: Thanks
NBC has a new show, "The Winner Is", where ordinary people like you and me can
sing your way to a million. Its due to debut in July, but NBC is giving it a
winner's spotlight after the Voice in June.
Chico: Should be an interesting show, and Nick Lachey has grown by inches as a
host. Still a long way away from brother Drew, though.
Gordon: Here's the catch - if you think you're not going to win, you can bail
out and win money instead.
Chico: A nice little hitch. We'll see if its NBC's next thing later this summer.
Actually a smart twist on the sing if you can show. Here's a dumb twist on life.
Are YOU Smarter than...Donald Trump, who announced that his show got renewed for
next season. The only problem - NBC showed a slate of their shows, which DIDN'T
have the Donald anywhere on there.
Chico: Now we know that such things are subject to change if and when a show
fails, but if NBC has their midseason planned already and you're not on it?
Maybe you just should keep things to yourself. The irony of it all? The day the
announcement was tweeted, mind you... series low.
Gordon: Now there IS a chance it will get back on the air, but this is how you
lose what little credibility you have.
Chico: And this is from a fan of Donald Trump. We will review this upfront and
all the others next week. For now though, I'm thirsty. Haterade me.
Gordon: Here we go...
We'll deal with the cancellations next week, but for this week, we'll see the
cancellations of Shakira and Usher's role on The Voice, because Christina and
Cee Lo are coming back.
Chico: And if you were paying attention, you knew this was coming. NBC reported
that it was a one season thing while Christina and Cee-Lo got back on the road,
in the studio, what not and what have you. It would not surprise me in the
slightest to see them come back in the spring.
Gordon: Me neither, but as for right now, they are out.
Chico: This was a temporary respite, it was reported as such, and honestly this
is not news. This however is. Lets get loaded. Two items, related but not.
1. GSN is partnering with the Breast Cancer Research Foundation to turn Oodles
into cash donations.
Gordon: That's a really nice move from GSN
Chico: Second bit of business...
2. The 2nd Annual 24-Hour Game show Marathon to benefit the American Cancer
Society and the Kennedy Krieger Institute NEXT WEEKEND! More information online
at pacdudegames.com.
Chico: As you heard at top of show, Game Show Newsnet is a proud sponsor. Watch.
Listen. Play. GIVE.
Gordon: Even a dollar is a dollar more than what they had yesterday.
Chico: True.
Gordon: And a media ho is a media ho more than what we have had to deal with
yesterday.
Chico: Also true. (Plays Luda)
In this week's Media Ho Report, Mariah Carey is no longer being managed
by Randy Jackson, The Rock hosts 'The Hero', and Stephanie Paleu divorces Sam
Paleu after she catches him cheating.
Chico: "I'm Clark Gable with Cheaters."
Gordon: But none of them is the ho of the week.
Chico: Who is it?
Gordon: It's Steve Harvey, who now has a star on Hollywood's Walk of Fame.
Chico: Shiny. He heads back into Atlanta Civic Center to shoot season 14 of the Feud
next week.
Gordon: They do. And we'll be watching. And those...are your hoes.,
Chico: And finally lets take a vacation to Australia... where they're handing
out roses to all the pretty people.
Gordon: and boomerangs to the ugly ones.
We'll see as they pick up their version of the Bed-Chico-ler... err, the
Bachelor.
Gordon: I'll get you some tickets to Canberra. One way or two way tickets?
Chico: I'll let you know once I see the talent.
Gordon: And that's BrainVision. Shut it down
Chico: Shutting it down
Gordon: Still to come, we predict our winners, but first, Dr. Pepper is in, and
he's going to give advice to his fragile psyche before he spanks Chico like a
Sorority Pledge Girl. You're reading WLTI. You give us 22 minutes and we'll
give you 22 game shows we'll suggest for next year's Game Show Marathon. Like
Hole in the Wall!
Chico: Tipping Point!
Gordon: Are You Hot!
(Brainvision is presented by WLTI Pictures' new release, Family Feud into
Darkness. Two families. One destiny. Coming this summer...)