Episode 32.11 - WLTI Is For the
Children
May 6
Chico: This is Chico Alexander. And
THIS... is my favorite broom!
Gordon: (stares at Broom) you mean the one with all the UNC stickers on
it?
Chico: Yep. the one with all the UNC stickers on it. And this... is a
baby broom. Why do I have a baby broom, you might ask?
Gordon: Hey Chico - WHY do you have a baby broom?
Chico: I'm glad you asked. I have a baby broom, because today, it's all
about... the children. (ODB) WLTI is for the children. (/ODB)
Gordon: ...You're channeling Old Dirty Bastard? Really?
Chico: ... WHAAAAAT? :-)
Gordon: Oy.
Chico: Anyway, we've got a lot of kids (and a few who are just young at
heart), because from somewhere in America... WLTI... is on!
Gordon: Yay! Gordon and Chico here, and while Chico is getting his Ragga
Tip on, we'll say that it's time for Sweeps, Stunts and other silly things
starting with s. Like a Show.
Chico: Like this show. And this stunt.
Gordon: We start this episode with kids. Over 100 of them, as The Price
is Right has a kids (with parent) edition.
Chico: And here's how it went. The kids were allowed to play with the
parents, but ultimately the parents had the final say. And we also had family
friendly prizes like video games, trips to Disneyworld, trampolines...
Gordon: and Cars, which were more adult friendly than children friendly.
Both showcases had family vacations.
Chico: Yep.
Gordon: Now I'm sure Chico had good things to say about the show, so
let's hear them.
Chico: The good... it didn't take anything away from the playing. Much
like Young Players weeks in the past, it just played the game straight. You know
the classics, Card Sharks, Sale, Joker's, etc. Jeopardy!, of course, is the best
at it.
Gordon: Right. I did like the touch of having more than one kidlet come
up to play.
Chico: I thought it was well done. Didn't take away from anything. Didn't
provide any distractions. My only qualm... the kids are about as clueless as the
parents, in some cases. A 2-4 show?
Gordon: Well, they are players. That I didn't have problems with. Here's
what I didn't like: first and foremost, kids saying stuff on the mike (clearly
edited in) rooting against their fellow players - or arguing over who won what
prize. They made the kids extremely unlikable and you were actively rooting for
a double overbid.
Chico: Out of the overcoached mouths of babes, so to speak.
Gordon: Way overcoached and it came out saccharine.
Chico: Because if you know anything about game shows nowadays, is that a
lot of what happens (Wheel specifically is guilty of this) is coached. Kids,
even more so, because, well, they're kids. And I get that you're trying to make
good TV, but you know what good TV is? People getting genuinely excited for a
change in their lives. This is supposed to be one of those days you mark on your
Facebook timeline.
Gordon: Of course. And that brings me to #2. Some of these kids are going
to be scarred for life.
Chico: Do tell.
Gordon: Rolling the Dice in Let Em Roll is fine, but having the kid lose
an SUV because he picked the wrong square in Secret X is brutal.
Chico: And If I'm not mistaken, it was a 8 year old.
Gordon: Yepperz.
Chico: That kid's gonna need a nice long break from watching the show.
Gordon: I do like that they put in some of the more kid friendly games,
but I would have probably put in Safe Crackers somewhere. Would there have been
any games you would have added?
Chico: Let's see. You had to have Eazy as 1-2-3. That's almost a given. I
also would've put in Hole-in-One. Because, hey, it's mini-golf.
Gordon: Secret X out, Hole In 1 in.
Chico: Right. So should they do this again?
Gordon: I'm on the fence. If I'm the producers, and if I think it
warrants it, yes. However, if they had the same thoughts I did, they will retool
some of it.
Chico: Oh yeah. first show is always (and I'm going to throw this phrase
out again)... proof of concept. Now it goes back into the hopper for some
refining, let's see what they come up with next time.
Gordon: The underlining theme for me is how do the kids handle it. I'm
sort of surprised there wasn't any landing pads for the kids - like everyone
gets a $1,000 Toys R Us Gift Certificate, etc.
Chico: I mean that would make sense. It's not the first time everyone got
something for being in the audience. That would definitely soften the blow of
some. But in execution, not bad.
Gordon: At least I didn't make the little kids cry.
Chico: And after you said you would. You're losing your touch.
Gordon: That's because I'm too busy making dumb Survivor contestants cry.
Chico: It's happened to Big Brother, it's happening to Survivor now. And
from the double elimination week, it looks like we see where things stand in
terms of loyalties. First up... Reynold's gone. It was a 4-2-1-1 decision.
Eddie, Sherri, and Erik getting the other votes. Seemed like it was going to be
clearing house for the fans
Gordon: Not a surprise there. You have to get rid of Reynold.
Chico: ... but then comes ANOTHER strong player you have to get rid of...
and surprise of surprises, they do.
Gordon: Seemed like it was - and then we get a really dumb move - maybe,
depdnding on how Eddie plays it, the dumb move of the series.
Chico: By a 3-2-2 decision...ANDREA goes home? Brenda, Erik, and Sherri
with those votes. Eddie's vote went to Brenda.
Gordon: Everyone's playing just a little too hard here in terms of
Andrea, Cochran, etc. Here's what you did, essentially. Big Bored Please?
Showing Your Hand at the Turn
- Favorites Eat Their Own
- Dawn, Cochran, Eddie Need to Band Together
- Still Time...
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Gordon: The Subject: Showing Your Hand at the Turn Some people are
playing too hard too early. Here's what the Favorites did. s#1. They got rid of
one of theiir own instead of what they should be doing, which is getting rid of
the fans. If Sherri or Eddie get to the end, they win.
Chico: Basically. Sherri is beginning to show a bit of organizational
skills. She knows that of the favorites, Erik's the weakest link. He flips, then
the fans can start climbing back into this.
Gordon: #2. You just told Cochran, Dawn and Eddie that they better band
together
Chico: And notice... they don't.
Gordon: I mean that's what the most recent of votes stated
Chico: Based on votes alone, they're all over the place.
Gordon: They will all compare notes. You could have kept the charade
going for awhile. #3. This happened while there's still time for bad things to
happen.
Chico: Indeed. As long as Sherri and Eddie are still in it, they can
still band together, get someone to flip, and then all sorts of crap happens.
And remember, you need these votes to win the million as well.
Gordon: If this created a 4-2 or 5-1 uneven vote, then it doesn't matter.
The fact is that it's now 3 vs. 3, which means we could get the Purple Rock of
Fiery Death tiebreaker
Chico: Draw rocks.
Gordon: Which is why you can't have Sherri or Eddie to get to the end.
Because you have Corinne and Philip in the jury - neither of them likely to vote
for a Favorite.
Chico: Right. So what happens now that there are four favorites and two
fans? Simple... the fans have to find the weak link and convince him or her to
flip.
Gordon: It's a mess. Because of the overplay, anything can happen - which
makes it part of the fun. Let's head away from the paradise and head to my
paradise - NYC
Chico: Spreading 30th anniversary love in the Big Apple.
Chico: The highlight of Wheel of Fortune's 30th Anniversary is airing
right now.
Gordon: And so far, despite a nasty wheel, the players have been doing
well.
Gordon: How well?
Chico: Well it's always good to start a week with a big win, because that
sets the tone. WHAT ARE YOU DOING
H _ _ L _ N _ / _ _ T H / L A _ _ H T E R
Gordon: Well I could be Healing Matt Lauer, because he needs it. Or
Chico, after reading that, could be howling with laughter
Chico: Ha HA!
Gordon: Like that
Chico: I think we need a healing circle for Matt Lauer. Anyway, that
gives Laura Bennett from Long Island University $30,000! And a total of $50650
in cash and trip.
Gordon: Sweet
Chico: That's the only big win of the week, though.
Gordon: Aw
Chico: We end up giving away almost $200,000 this week, but our stay in
NYC is young.
Gordon: Still have 2 more weeks left in NYC. we have one more week with
Amazing Racers
Chico: We're racing toward the finish.
Gordon: and as we like to do on this show, it's time for some Pony
Picking. Big Board please?
Chico: PONY!
Amazing Race: Who Wins If
- Max/Katie + Bates/Anthony = all but
three legs
- U-Turn
- Whoever knocks out the other wins
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Chico: Amazing Race: Who Wins If time. We have four teams remaining. One
of them will be eliminated before the final leg. Remember the finale is a TWO
hour affair.
Gordon: Can I be blunt and say it's a 2 pony race?
Chico: You just did!
Gordon: Max / Katie and Bates / Anthony have combined to win all but 3
legs
Chico: Future NC Sports Hall of Famer in Bates, there. =p
Gordon: Lets write out the latter 2 teams from this discussion
Chico: Got it. So it's Max & Katie vs. Bates & Anthony.
Gordon: If either can knock the other out in the prior lap, they win.
Chico: I'll tell you right now it's going to be hard, because right now
they're one-two.
Chico: Max & Katie are in the lead followed by Bates & Anthony, but
that's only because of a U-Turn
Gordon: Between the 2, I'll give the edge to Max and Katie, because 1.
They won the last 2 legs and 2. I'm never going to openly root for anyone from
North Carolina
Chico: Yeah you are.
Gordon: Well, besides you and your immediate family in trivia
competitions.
Chico: Say what you will, but Bates & Anthony have placed first more than
any of the final four.
Gordon: They have, which is why I don't count them out.
Chico: They know how to overcome obstacles. And being hockey players,
they have athleticism on their side. PLUS there's something to be said about
being brothers.
Gordon: I would even say you could consider them a favorite. BUt as you
know me (pulls out Duke flags), go Max and Katie!
Chico: Yeah, Duke's in Durham, isn't it? Going back to our own version of
the Elias Sports Bureau shows that there've been more married couples to win the
Race than siblings. Only ONE team of siblings have won the Race, Kisha & Jen.
Married couples have won at least three Races. So right now, it's an even draw
AT BEST. I'm going to go with what you said before, G. Whoever knocks out the
other at the end of the next leg wins. But if they both survive, it's going to
be a fight.
Gordon: It may come down to that - or maybe it comes down to whoever has
the bigger brains. So we have a new show called The Big Brain Theory. And here
to explain it is Chico.
Chico: It's sort of an extension of Discovery's Young Scientists
Challenge. Discovery's looking for the next great innovator. We have 10 players,
all current, studying, or future engineers of some sort. They have a challenge,
and they have to design a solution for that challenge to be judged by SFX master
Mark Fuller, alternative energy maven Dr. Christina Gulbranson, and a rotating
chair of guest judges. Hosting it all, actor, teacher, science education
advisor, and former staffer under President Obama Kal Penn.
Gordon: Most of you, however, know him for something else entirely.
Chico: .... okay, "Kumar".
Gordon: Thank you.
Chico: The last team standing wins $50,000 and a job with Mark Fuller's
WET. It's about as simple as it gets for an elimination competition.
Gordon: The Good - there is a LOT of Geekery here. If you like science,
you'll LOVE this show.
Chico: SCIENCE!
Gordon: The cast is likable.
Chico: Yep. And the game takes center stage over everything else.
Gordon: Yes. but notice I say cast.
Chico: I mean, this is to SCIENCE! what Top Chef is to COOKERY!
Gordon: And the eliminations are also based on science and not social
voting.
Chico: And unlike most shows of this type, because Chico Alexander and
Gordon Pepper have a different view of nerds than say Hollywood, what this is
about is the efficiency of the solution. And this ends up being what King of the
Nerds SHOULD'VE been.
Gordon: Yes. If you fail your challenge, you're up for elimination.
However, there's still bad.
Chico: Yeah. I can start with a failure to demystify.
Gordon:
#1.dramadramadramaforyourmamadramadramaomgitsjjustinbieberdramadramaicanseemyhousefromheredramadramadramagaspgasppantwheeze.
Chico: Breathe, G. 2) Failure to demystify. Could be understood as it may
lead to a do-not-attempt situation.
Gordon: We see mistakes, but we don't know how or why they are made, or
what could have been done to stop it
Chico: There's actually a trope here. Sesquipedalian Loquaciousness.
LAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAARGE words. 3) If you're not a SCIENCE geek like me,
than you may not get it.
Gordon: #4. Kai Penn sounds and acts like he needs to go to White Castle,
if you get my drift.
Chico: Duuuuuuuuuuuuuuuude.
Gordon: You know who would have been perfect here? Christopher Lloyd
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THE BIG BRAIN THEORY: TRUE GENIUS
Discovery - 10p ET Wednesdays |
GORDON |
CHICO |
AVERAGE-O-MATIC |
B |
B |
B |
Chico: Dude. Bill. Freaking. Nye. So we have some good, some bad, but
overall, it's a good fit for Discovery and a safe haven for all your standard
reality show nightmares. And hey, the show may even learn you a thing or two. B
Gordon: Its a nice niche show for Discovery Channel. Not everyone's cup
of tea, but if you like your coffee strong, this will fill you up. B.
Chico: I like my coffee like I like my game show recaps. Strong, quick,
and often.
Gordon: Speaking of quick, it's 5.5 minute replay time
Chico: Starting ... NOW! It's gotten this bad for American Idol. We're
only spending a few seconds on it. We have three: country blues singer Kree, pop
princess Angie, and R&B diva Candice.
Gordon: In the biggest borefest since last week's episode, Amber is gone.
Aw.
Chico: They will return from their hero's welcome to the WHEEL OF DEATH!
Gordon: Oooooh.
Chico: Over on the Voice, we're down to your final 16 in the contest.
Gordon: And now...it's up to YOU America!
Chico: Amber, Caroline, Judith & Sarah on Team Adam, Sasha, Garrett,
Karina, and KRis on Team Shakira, Cathia, Michelle, Josiah, and Vedo on Team
Usher, and Danielle, Justin, the Swon Bros and Holly on team Blake.
Chico: You kinda had a feeling Blake was going to get rid of any
non-country element on his team. Hey, go with what you know. But let's be
honest... we're just going through the motions until Judith Hill wins. Married
couple Christian & Heather win Oh Sit!, but let's be honest. You only tuned in
for Havana Brown and her big banananana...
Gordon: I did :) You want it, baby I got it.
Chico: I'm sure you do. We have our final four for Chopped All-Stars.
They are Laila Ali, Gavin Kaysen, Gordon's friend Scott Conant, and Sunny
Anderson. One of them will win $50,000 for charity. Gary Busey went crazy. And
since Trump likes to be the only crazy in the room, Gary's fired.
Gordon: Gary is a boat of Crazy
Chico: Seemed like Dancing with the Stars wanted to get rid of Andy Dick
by any means. This Monday, they got their wish.
Gordon: Well yes and no. I'll explain later on in the show
Chico: The men FINALLY get a win in Hell's Kitchen, and Jacqueline turns
in her jacket. Finally, Graces win Fast Money on Friday, They return Monday with
$21,300 and change.
Gordon: And that's a replay. Stop the Clock!
Chico: I need to breathe
Gordon: (Hamsters bring in oxygen pellets)
Chico: I love you guys. I love my hamsters. Let's do the news.
Gordon: Roll that Beautiful Brain Footage
(Doug:
Live, local, and latebreaking... From the four corners of the globe to
your frontal lobe, this is WLTI Brainvision News, and now here's Gordon Pepper,
Chico Alexander, and the award-winning Brainvision News Team)
Chico: Thanks, Dougl. First of all, I need the bat trophy.
Gordon: (Gives Chico a Trophy-shaped Bat)
We
have your nominees for the game show awards of the Daytime Emmys.
Chico: Big Board?
Your Nominees Are...- OUTSTANDING
GAME SHOW: Jeopardy!, Let's Make a Deal, The Price Is Right, Cash Cab, Who
Wants to Be a Millionaire, Family Feud
- OUTSTANDING GAME SHOW HOST: Steve Harvey, Wayne Brady,
Ben Bailey, Alex Trebek, ... Billy Eichner?!
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Gordon: The Subject: Your Nominees are...
Chico: Up for Outstanding Game Show...
Jeopardy!
Let's Make a Deal
The Price Is Right
Cash Cab
Who Wants to Be A Millionaire
Family Feud
Chico: The turnaround is working.
Gordon: Sure is. and well deserved. Steve Harvey has been doing a great
job at it.
Chico: Speaking of Steve... the people in line for what we affectionately
call "The King of Games" are...
Steve Harvey
Wayne Brady
Ben Bailey
Alex Trebek
Billy Eichner?!
Chico: Sherri Shepherd was available, Meredith Vieira was available..
Drew Carey... well, Drew takes himself out of the running every year, so...Todd
Newton even...But BILLY FREAKING EICHNER?!
Gordon: Let me play Dwvil's Advocate for a sec.
Chico: Okay
Gordon: If I believe that the show is great, Eichner, who IS the show, is
the reason.
Chico: But the show ISN'T great, we went over this.
Gordon: Even so, you're not judging the host on the show.
Chico: True.
Gordon: The award is for best HOST. You have to admit that he does a
yeoman's job as a host. So I can see the nominati0on.
Chico: Okay.
Gordon: Whether you find him funny or not (and I don't), Eichner does
have the host chops.
Chico: Right. He does keep the crap train going. So congratulations on
all the nominations. Meanwhile, I see a couple of special weeks coming up in the
Datebook.
Gordon: I do too. the big one...PCH time!
This
week on Let's Make a Deal, Publisher's Clearing House comes a calling. We start
the College Championship tourney on Jeopardy. We also have Season 6 of Wipeout,
and 2 more weeks until Idol is over.
Chico: We love us some College Championship.
Gordon: We do. Usually they get Fully Loaded
Chico: Hic. Now this is pretty cool...
Jay
Mohr has a new game show out... on Hulu. It's called "Money Where Your Mouth
Is". And it's a "game show for the man's man."
Chico: It will feature lifelong friends who wager their most prized
possessions and go head-to-head to take the items from one another in a
harrowing battle of “man wits.” Three rounds of competition will include
everything from identifying movie quotes and obscure trivia to physical
challenges and debating some of the greatest questions that plague mankind, the
kind of knowledge every guy uses as the true measure of their manhood. Like, say
if Gordon and I were playing. I'd put up my prized acoustic guitar over Gordon's
prized bowling ball.
Gordon: I seem to remember this when it was called Trashed and Chris
Hardwick was hosting it.
Chico: Yeah, but so far as I know there's no trashing. This is just
winner gets the loser's stuff.
Gordon: As long as the playabiity factor for this show is there, it could
be fun to see.
Chico: Indeed.
Chico: A smart idea, game shows on the internet. Ahem, Let's Ask America,
more episodes, please... :-)
Gordon: Smart idea? yes. Now Dumb people? Got some of those too.
Are
YOU Smarter than Lindsay Loh....no I can't do that again this week. Way too
easy.
Chico: Too easy. Like shooting fish in the barrel, where's the challenge.
Gordon: Let's try this...
Are YOU Smarter than...Andrea, who joins the list of Survivor evictees who
leave with Idols in their pockets.
Chico: Challenge complete. :-) Very nice. Now give me some Haterade.
Gordon: How much do you want?
Chico: How much have you got?
Gordon: I've got 3 Zombies worth
Chico: Only room for one zombie around here...*cocks shotgun*
Gordon: The past few weeks you've seen the upfronts which shows us who
has made the next season.
Shows
not making it include The Game of Life, Scrabble Showdown and Full Metal
Jousting
Chico: Awww. Scrabble still airs... at 5:30 in the morning.
Gordon: The Jousters need to go on a break. Where are we sending them to
joust?
Chico: We are sending them to France and Turkey.
Slam,
which celebrates 1000 episodes in its home territory of France, is going to
Turkey. The initial run is for 60 shows.
Chico: Owned and produced by Effervescence, Slam first debuted on France
3 in 2009. The format asks contestants to complete a crossword puzzle by
answering trivia questions. During the game players have the option to "slam,"
which means they can block other participants and attempt to complete the
crossword on their own without clues. Sound familiar?
Gordon: I think Merv Griffin would like a word with these guys.
Chico: The ghost of Merv Griffin. Here's an episode, kids. Judge for
yourself.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=iGWHe5eusDg
Gordon: Interesting. Who wants some hoes?
Chico: ME! (plays Luda)
In
this week's Media Ho Report, Brooke White is in a movie, Alex Trebek is
downplaying Retirement, The biggest Loser is going into Season 15...
Nicki Minaj and Mariah Carey are calling each other names - again, Amber
Holcomb sayd the public wants to see a season of second chance contestants (no
we don't), and Cee Lo Green will perform on The Voice on May 8.
Gordon: But none of them are the hoes of the week.
Chico: Who've you got?
Gordon: I won't say who. I'll just show you a pic.
http://s0.2mdn.net/viewad/3659048/0816_300x250_osn.jpg
Chico: Tour time again, isn't it?
Gordon: It is. Over Under on number of cancellations
Chico: What's the number of concerts?
Gordon: 38
Chico: I'll bet you dollars to donuts you take the over every time.
Gordon: 40 tour stops, so I'll put the over under at...10.
Chico: Over. More than 10. I say half of them are no shows.
Gordon: Ill say 15. And those...are your hoes.
Chico: And that's Brainvision. I'll do the shutting down here......and
done. Next up, pre-summer fun time in threes, but first... What were you
thinking?!
Gordon: I'm thinking we need a breaking. You'rw reading WLTI. You give us
22 minutes and we'll give you 22 things to reasearch for the World Quizzing
Chapmionships on June 1st.
Chico: UN Secretaries General, countries of Africa, books of the Bible,
Billboard Hot 100, The Periodic Table, Super Bowl Champions, Battles of World
War II...
(BrainVision has been brought to you by the Jeopardy 5 Time Championship
Ring. Didn't win the Tournament of Champions? No problem. Have this ring for
being a 5 time champion. Ring provided by everyone gets a cookie foundation and
the University of North Carolina, Texas University and Ohio State University
Athletics)
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