Gordon: This is Gordon Pepper, and I am back
refreshed from North Carolina.
Chico: How did you like a little taste of the south there, G?
Gordon: I'd like to thank Chico for his hospitality. It was a blast and I look
forward to coming down again.
Chico: We look forward to having you back down. And next time maybe bring Jason
Block with you for trivia night.
Jason: When I have cash. ;)
Chico: I traveled to NYC for a quiz night, surely he can do the same.
Gordon: But while we were celebrating in the South, game show events happened
throughout the land. And hence, we are here to cover them.
Chico: And that's what we're gonna do. Because from somewhere in this frozen
tundra called America... WLTI... is... ON!
Gordon: YAY! Gordon and Chico here, along with special guest Jason Block.
Jason: (digs, shovel, toss) Hey!
Chico: Dude. You need a snowblower.
Gordon: So while Jason is shoveling snow, we're going to take the snow and
create snowballs out of them. The target: the kids on Jeopardy's second
semi-final, as they set a record in a very bad way.
Jason: (FACEPALM)
TEEN TOURNAMENT EDITION
Chico: See..
Jason: (headdesk)
Chico: Usually, when we talk about Jeopardy! tournaments, we celebrate the
participants, get the players up on a pedestal and just see who has what it
takes to win this thing. WE CAN'T DO THAT NOW.
Gordon: We like kids. We really do. However, we're equal opportunity here, so if
you screw up, we'll call you on it. And boy, did we get a screw up. We start
with Thursdays episode of Jeopardy, where we're determining the winner of the
Teen Tournament semi-finals, game #2. Chico, please set the stage up.
Chico: Kelton Ellis, Joe Ventrik, and... yes, this is her name.. Tori Amos.
Kelton leads with $16,400. Joe has $12,000. Tori is all but out of it with
$1600. How do you bet, Gordon?
Gordon: Tori needs to bet nothing and hope for a disaster. Joe has to bet
$4,401, Kelton needs to bet $7,601. Simple.
Chico: Right, right, and right. So the clue in Capital Cities.
It's criss-crossed by dozens of "peace walls" that separate its Catholic &
Protestant neighborhoods
Chico: Jason?
Jason: What is BELFAST..in Northern Ireland.
Chico: Jason says Belfast. Gordon?
Gordon: What are the Raquetball Courts in Dublin?
Chico: That would explain all the peace walls.
Gordon: Well until they get into a dispute if the ball was out of bounds or not.
I hear those fights get really nasty.
Chico: Well, it's Northern Ireland. And for all those Northern Irish people
reading... WE'RE REALLY SORRY.
Gordon: So Jason is right. He's the ONLY one who's right.
Chico: And all three contestants say... the racquetball courts in Dublin. And
they all go all in.
Jason: WHOA BABY!
Gordon: That gives us a 3 way tie for, as they say over in Grantland.... "Squadoosh".
Chico: This is only the THIRD time it's ever happened, a triple zero tie. The
first time it's happened in tournament play.
Gordon: And in tournament play, the rule is that they take the highest losing
score from the semi-finalists, and they advance. That happens on Friday's show.
Chico: The Category: US Government. The clue...
Recently in the news, this agency traces its origins to an 1803 act helping
Portsmouth, N.H. after a fire.
Chico: Jason, it's yours.
Jason: What is FEMA?
Chico: Gordon? Can't wait for this.
Gordon: What is the Society to Protect Mrs. O Leary's Cows bred by Kim
Kardashian?
Chico: NO. COMMENT.
Gordon: We'll be chatting about Kim later on today.
Chico: Oh yeah. We have the drama with her. But we do have FINALISTS! We have
game winners Barrett Block (no relation to JB) and Nilai Sarda, and lucky wild
card Leonard Cooper. So let's go over this. Barrett won twice. Nilai won twice.
Leonard... once.
Gordon: Nilai and Leonard had a great match. I'll give the edge of Nilai.
Chico: I will also give the edge to Nilai over Barrett. He's got a good head for
numbers and that'll help him through the final rounds. Remember, he bet $14,200
to try and surpass Emily Greenberg, who ended up underwagering.
Jason: It's really difficult, but I will say Nilai...but anyone can do it.
Chico: That's why we play the game.
Gordon: Very true. The match should be a lot of fun to watch. Something not as
much fun: American Idol's Hollywood Week.
Chico: Now when is a week TWO weeks?
Gordon: When it feels like 2 weeks when you're watching the show?
Chico: Close. Answer: when the contestants are split into boys and girls.
Jason: That was painful.
Chico: They'll stay that way until there are five of each to compete for votes.
Gordon: Now usually, we would talk about who the contenders are. I can't talk
about any of the female contestants, because those are next week. I also can't
talk about any of the male contestants, because we spent way too much time on
the judges.
Chico: That's about right.
Jason: NO ONE Stood out.
Chico: No, not really. I mean, I look at this group of guys. I don't care.
Jason: Not one.
Chico: I don't think the judges cared either.
Gordon: And the time we spent on the guys - I would have rather been playing
tetherball outside in the snow.
Chico: Which would probably explain why they were so sour. First of all, the
Hollywood Round is different this year. No rooms, no drama. Just a quick how do
you do get on the show or get off the stage.
Gordon: Lots of bickering.
Chico: Simmering tension. And people forgetting lyrics.
Jason: And there was one segment that really irked me.
Chico: What was the one segment?
Jason: The Payphone incident
Chico: Oh yeah. That was painful.
Jason: All 4 should have been gone...B-SIDE.
Chico: Get off. That would be the surplus. Remember, we had 28 men at the end of
Thursday. We needed 20.
Gordon: I think B-Side will be seeing their members shrink before we get to 20.
Chico: And you notice that people were getting by on past performance? I didn't
really get that. I mean, Gordon, you have a saying. And it's one you swear
by..."You're only as good as your last shot."
Gordon: Very true.
Chico: If I'm a judge on American Idol. And I have the Gordon Pepper mindset..
HALF of the singers we saw this week would've been on the bus home.
Gordon: It would have been 80%
Jason: Forget lyrics...GONE. Off Pitch...GONE.
Chico: No blend... You bet your sweet arse you're gone.
Gordon: This is when we had judges that cared about singing. Now we don't have
that. We have image > talent.
Chico: We were afraid this was going to happen.
Gordon: And I have a feeling we will not be getting the 10 best singers in the
finals.
Chico: Far from it. We'll have the ten singers that can most easily be packaged.
And that's always a bad thing.
Jason: That JDA from Chicago...yipe.
Chico: You couldn't package Philip Phillips. That's why he's as good as he is
right now. Same with Scotty McCreery. He knew who he was and what he was going
to do.
Gordon: And instead you have 4 judges that don't get it.
Jason: Nope.
Chico: Sad state. I guess we'll see what happens when the ladies take the stage
next round.
Gordon: Unfortunately, I think we get more of the same.
Jason: I don't know. I have more confidence in the ladies
Gordon: It's not the ladies I have a problem with. I don't have confidence in
the judges.
Chico: Same here. We have a lady with a potential multiple personality
disorder...two people who are completely mailing it in...and Keith Urban.
Jason: I don't think the judges are THAT BAD. You are overselling it
Gordon: Chico is - but again, they care more about themselves than their role -
and the audience is calling them on it.
Jason: Hence the low ratings
Chico: Yep. They're getting big-banged.
Jason: Bazinga
Gordon: That's the theory. now we see if ABC's Theory of a prime time game show
works. The show is The Taste.
Chico: Judges. Contestants.
Jason: (Puts on xerox mask)
Gordon: The premise is as follows: 4 chefs get ONE taste of food from
contestants. The good chefs joins teams where we get chefs eliminated week by
week. Stop me if this sounds familiar.
Jason: STOP.
Gordon: Stop at...CLONE your money.
Chico: Winner gets $100,000 and a new car. It's The Voice meets Top Chef.
Gordon: That's one problem I have with the show, but it can be masked if the
other pieces fall into place. The problem is they don't. The biggest problem for
me: NONE of the judges are likable.
Chico: Not even... Nigella?
Gordon: No. She's an airhead. I liked the judges on The Voice. I don't like them
here.
Jason: Agreed.
Gordon: None of the judges are constructive at all and that's what separates the
show.
Jason: Anthony Bourdain is known as the (^_^) chef. He proves it here.
Gordon: For a show like this, you want the mentors to be likable.
Jason: They all seem self-centered. At least on the Voice, Blake and Adam are
likable
Chico: Yep.
Gordon: All 4 are likable on The Voice.
Chico: That's all true. All four are likeable on the Voice. for the chefs, all
four are ... a bit self-centered.
Gordon: I'm 0 for 4 on these chefs. Now is there anything you did like?
Chico: I did like that chefs AND home cooks were competing side by side.
Jason: That's about the only good thing.
Gordon: I liked that and the production values were strong.
Chico: They were.
Jason: Felt like a big show
|
THE TASTE
ABC - 8p ET Tuesdays |
GORDON |
CHICO |
JASON |
AVERAGE-O-MATIC |
D+ |
D |
D |
D |
Gordon: Unfortunately, that's all I liked. D+
Jason: It's a D.
Chico: You know what this show needed above all else? Someone to reign in the
panel. Someone to move the action along. Otherwise, the term "hot mess" comes to
mind. D.
Gordon: And that's something hot that I don't want to eat. We had another show
debut this week, and that's CBS's The Job. It's a collaboration from Mark
Burnett (Survivor) and Michael Davies (Millionaire)
Chico: Indigestion. This was better than I thought it was going to be. I mean,
imagine early episodes of The Apprentice.
Jason: This was a very pleasant surprise to me.
Chico: But with more of a game show feel.
Jason: Yes. But everything felt relevant to me.
Chico: Here's how it works. We start with five applicants.
Jason: Culled from 1000s of resumes
Chico: They perform the tasks of the job to be given.
Gordon: Two of them get eliminated, leaving three people left. A few catches:
#1. Three other companies can poach the remaining candidates and #2. Either,
all, or none of them can get the position.
Chico: They'll be quizzed upon the specifics of the job. And then they'll have
to endure a pressure cooker round to see how well they work with others.
Jason: There was a lot to like here.
Chico: Indeed there was.
Jason: I liked the job tips before each break.
Chico: The flow was a combination of reality storytelling and game show guts.
Gordon: The biggest thing is that there was another job show where you had
challenges that had nothing to do with the position and everything to do with
just providing entertainment. In this show, the challenges made perfect sense.
Jason: In the premiere, we had people doing tasks that a general manager at the
Palm would do. (And I have eaten there)
Chico: Nice place, J?
Jason: OH yeah.
Gordon: I've eaten there also. Amazingly good place.
Jason: It's expensive, but worth it.
Chico: We have the show, and it's a nice progression from start to finish.
Gordon: In the episode, not one, but 3 people get jobs - the 3rd placed
candidate takes a buy out job and the other 2 people get hired by the company.
Jason: The drama didn't feel forced.
Chico: No it didn't. This was all business.
Jason: The only problem here is Lisa Ling. Too invisible. But that's a nit pick
Gordon: I'm going to disagree. I think Lisa did a good job as a conduit. She
shouldn't be the focus in the show. The focus should be on both the company and
the people. The show did an excellent job. I really can't nit pick on the show
itself.
Chico: I'm going to side with Gordon here. Lisa is in effect a conduit from
players to panelist to audience.
Gordon: And what makes this impressive is that there are elements from other
shows here, this doesn't feel like a show that borrowed elements from anything.
Jason: This feels UNIQUE.
|
THE JOB
CBS - 8p ET Fridays |
GORDON |
CHICO |
JASON |
AVERAGE-O-MATIC |
A |
A |
A |
A |
Gordon: It does. If I'm alone on a Friday night
with nothing to do, I'm watching this. This is a well done show and Davies and
Burnett deliver the goods. VERY early nomination for best new show of the year.
A.
Chico: Get the current game show overlord with the reality show mastermind...
put them together and this is what you get. A. Definite show of the year
material.
Jason: This takes a very negative situation (unemployment) and flips it into
something really awesome. I knew this was going to be good, and I was glad to be
proven right. A.
Gordon: Kudos to the team. Another show we love here is Rupaul's Drag Race,
which debuted their newest season a few weeks ago. Let's spread some love.
Gordon: We have 14 new drag queens, which gets sliced to 12 after an underwater
challenge and a li[p synch challenge.
Chico: Hopefully not at the same time.
Gordon: No. Episode 1 was a take off of Project Runway and America's Next Top
Model. They do a fashion shoot in the water and then make a dress out of items
found by dumpster diving.
Jason: LOL nice
Chico: Very chic.
Gordon: The winner is Roxxy Andrews. The loser (and really boring contestant
inexplicably picked by the viewers to get in the house) is Penny Tration.
Jason: OUCH
Gordon: Episode 2 features a lip synch - but not of music. The queens have to
recreat dialogue from previous episodes and lip synch to it. It's VERY clever.
Leaving is the other person in the bottom 2 from the first episode - Serena
ChaCha.
Chico: They're not playing round this season.
Gordon: Nope. In addition to the usual drama, you have Monica Beverly Hillz, who
is undergoing a Male to female transformation. You also have Alyssa Edwards Vs.
Coco Montrese, as Coco got Alyssa disqualified in a national pageant.
Jason: Not a shock there .
Gordon: THIS is how you get the drama going. It's going to be fun.
Chico: And might i add... YIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIKES!
Gordon: One of them will get picked to be the new Drag Race winner. Meanwhile,
we had pickers on Millionaire as we go to our...
Gordon: ...divided by 15.384.
Chico: It's the American Pickers! And they dig out a piece of American game show
history while on the set... The Hot Seat!
Jason: A ha :)
Chico: It still has Jason's butt grooves. :-)
Jason: LOL
Chico: Seriously, we have Mike Wolfe and Frank Fritz, the American Pickers from
History Channel's "American Pickers". They are playing for America's VetDogs,
whic supports animal military service.
Jason: Salute!
Chico: Because they're playing for charity, they are automatically froted
$10,000 win or lose.
Gordon: Unfortunately, that's what America's VetDogs will be getting after they
bomb out on the last question of level 1.
Chico: The category. Really Popular Women.
Since Gallup began asking the Q in 1948, who has been named their "most admired
woman" a record 16 times?
A: Jackie Kennedy
B: Oprah Winfrey
C: Hillary Clinton
D: Mother Teresa
Gordon: And no, RuPaul is not a choice. Jason, please give us the answer.
Jason: B. Oprah
Gordon: ...um...Chico, please give us the answer.
Chico: Jason.. amateur. Chico... expert. I said C.
Jason: Hillary 16 times? Really?
Gordon: Well you have to remember - 8 years first lady, 6 years senate, and then
Secretary of state
Jason: DUH
Gordon: Chico is right. Jason needs to go back to Hot Seat school.
Jason: Ha.
Gordon: And so do the American Pickers. They say Mother Teresa.
Chico: It seemed like a good choice, what with Mother Teresa being... well,
Mother Teresa.
Gordon: Sure. But no good. Now Eve wants to be like Mother Teresa. I don't know
how to break it to her.
Jason: (laughs)
Chico: That's just horrible.
Gordon: Roll that Beautiful Brain Footage.
(Doug:
Live, local, and latebreaking... From the four corners of the globe to
your frontal lobe, this is WLTI Brainvision News, and now here's Gordon Pepper,
Chico Alexander, and the award-winning Brainvision News Team)
Chico: Thanks, Doug. Let's get this greenlight out of the way. Gordon, get the
graphic ready...
After seeing Minute to Win It perform for GSN, the network has
optioned for a new series of 40 shows.
Jason: The hand reaches from the grave.
Chico: And the other...
Gordon: We called it months ago. Go read it on our WLTIs if you don't believe
us.
Jason: This is NOT A SHOCK at all.
Gordon: But it's a good choice from GSN. AS we called, they lower the grand
prize to $100,000.
Chico: We said that the acquisition of M2WI was going to be a litmus test to see
if it can work on the network. It does. So this is what we get. They're casting
for production in March for a late 2013 release.
Jason: Hey, Lee DiGeorge...you lost almost 100 pounds...up for it? :)
Gordon: If I'm Lee, I send out an application. You want to talk about
redemption...
Jason: No joke.
Chico: That's a story there. You can make a story out of that.
Gordon: You can. Lee on MTWI would make a great Datebook.
Chico: Indeed. What else would make a great datebook?
Gordon: This week, actually:
Feb 12 had The Face, then we get Survivor: Caramoaon on Wed Feb 13th, then Worst
Cooks in America and The Amazing Race on Sunday.
Chico: Yay? Yay! boo... YAAAAAAY!!!! We'll review The Face next week.
Gordon: We sure will. And we'll spread some love. Meanwhile, let's get Fully
Loaded.
Jason: Hic
Chico: This one comes with a Casting Couch. Are you a ninja?
Gordon: NINJA!
Chico: Want to prove your ninja prowess?
Gordon: NINJA!
Chico: Do you just like saying NINJA?
Gordon: ....NINJA!
Go to ANWTryouts.com or follow @ninjawarrior on Twitter to find out how you can
audition for seasno 5 of the hardest obstacle course on earth.
Gordon: NINJA!
Chico: Succeed, and you'll be one of the most elite athletes in the world.
Fail.... and Gordon makes fun of you.
Gordon: BAKAMONO!
Chico: Bakamono?
Gordon: That would be Japanese for 'Stupid Person'
Chico: Hai. Ikimashou.
Are YOU Smarter than...Kim Kardashian, who tweets her support for gun
control...and then tweets a picture of a gold encrusted gun she bought.
Jason: DUDE!
Chico: Kim, you know those moments when the best thing to say is nothing? This
would be one of those moments. Gordon, would you happen to have any responses to
said tweet?
Gordon: I don't, because Kim deleted the post. Let's just say they weren't very
nice.
Chico: If Kim truly is loyal to ANYTHING, it's the attention.
Gordon: And now for some Haterade. And these guys don't need guns.
The following shows will all follow Kim Kardashian's picture into the great
delete box in the sky: Cartoon Network's Hole in the Wall, Fort Boyard (AW), and
Majors and Minors.
Jason: Majors and Minors could have been so much better
Chico: With the exception of Fort Boyard, which was obviously screwed by
network... not a damn was given.
Gordon: The producers need to go on a vacation.
Chico: Let's go with Australia, where the women are women and the men don't
care. And the beers are THIS BIG JASON!
Jason: NICE
Sharon Osbourne was let go at AGT, only to pop up on AGT... as in Australia's
Got Talent.
Chico: That's the good news. Now... the not-so-good news.
The Price Is Right is
cancelled in Australia.
Jason: Not a shock
Chico: Nope. After that first show it was just... yeah, who cares.
Gordon: Australia needs more talented hoes.
Chico: (plays Luda)
In this week's Media Ho Report, Cedric the Entertainer signs a 3 year deal to
replace Meredith Vieira on Millionaire, Mario Lopez loses a Super Bowl bet,
Regis Philbin does sports for FOX Sports 1...Lara Spencer returns to a returning Flea
Market Flip, Bob Barker is targeted by the NRA, Nate Berkus will be hosting a
home renovation show...
Jason: Loved Flea Market Flip
Kim Kardashian is accusing Kris Humphries of causing her stress, Kelly Monaco
and Val Chmerkoskiy are an item, and The Bachelor's Sarah Herron claims that
AshLee Frazier isn't fun. Sounds like a good match for Chico.
Chico: Sarah and Ashlee? Together? Yes please.
Gordon: But none of them are your hoes of the week.
Jason: Hoes?
Chico: Plurals are always good
Gordon: And so is this: Nick Lachey, Drew Lachey, Nene Leakes, Sharon Osbourne,
Charles Barkley and Demi Lovato
Jason: I know these!
Chico: Explain!
Jason: These are the Celeb Partners for Celeb Week 2 on TPIR!
Chico: Yep. And if it's anything like last year, expect it to be a blast
Gordon: And those...are your hoes.
Chico: And that's Brainvision. Jason, please.
Jason: Shutting down
Chico: Still to come on the showgram, it's our version of the English to English
dictionary, where we give you what people say and what we heard. but first, G?
Gordon: But first...a new game! and it's from Chico's faaaaaaavorite genre, so
he'll love it!
Jason: OH NO LOL
Chico: ...
Gordon: You're reading WLTI. You give us 22 minutes, and we'll give you 22
judges who we'd rather see on the Taste. Paging Tom, Padma and Guy - you're
wanted on the set.
Chico: And Rachael, don't forget Rachael.
Gordon: I'll take Rachael.
(Brainvision is presented by the Matchelor. You can win a date with one of six
players... if you can match exactly what they come with to this question....
BLANK... ______ )