Episode 32.9 - The Models
Episode
April 8
Chico: Hey, Internet... Chico Alexander here.
Gordon Pepper there. UNC's out of the tournament.... Dook's out of the
tournament... that gives us time to concentrate on the one thing we CAN agree
on...*puts on Yankees hat* ... This is going to be a long season.
Gordon: Oh brother.
Chico: Losing 2 of 3 at home to Boston to start the season is not a good sign.
Gordon: No it's not. And no, I'm not a Bandwagon fan. I will root for the
Yankees, as abysmal as they probably will be.
Chico: I'm going to need a few things to take my mind off of the upcoming
debacle that is the 2013 campaign. The good news... right now, the Yanks are up
against the Tribe, like that's hard.
Gordon: If you're the Yankees, you can't overlook anyone right now.
Chico: Could be worse. Could be a fan of the Marlins. Or of Hot Guys with
Guitars or DEEP DISCOUNT SALES. We have an abundance of TWO out of these three
this week, because from Somewhere in America,... WLTI... is... ON!
Gordon: YAY! Gordon and Chico here, and we have a lot to go over and not a lot
of time. Let's get started.
Chico: First of all... what happens when four innocent *heh, yeah, right* models
take over Studio 33 for a day?
Gordon: You have the April Fool's Edition of the show. And while the models were
not exactly polished, it was a fun ride.
Chico: It was a fun ride, and in the end, that's all that counts, right?
Gordon: Right. Now how do people usually do on these shows, sir?
Chico: Fair to middling at best. Let's just say if we break even, we're jumping
out of our chairs. And after the April 1 episode... we weren't jumping out of
our chairs. There was a 2-4 show.
Gordon: And the ones lost should have been won
Chico: Let's play shall we? A hot tub is marked at $4295. A home gym is marked
at $5195. Stay or Switch?
Gordon: Leave those alone. No way the tub is more expensive than the home gym.
Chico: Good move. Next is Plinko, which is counted as a loss because no one hits
the $10,000. See, we have to DO these things, you know. So let's go to the next
loss, Eazy as 1-2-3 for a Cookshack smoker, a Sony 20" all-in-one touchscreen
PC, and a Kymco Like 200I scooter. It's an all-in one PC, not a laptop, BTW.
Gordon: Laptop < Smoker < Scooter
Chico: Laptop... $880. Smoker... $1849. Scooter... $2599. Very good. Then
there's a Toyota Yaris in That's Too Hard...MUCH! Just say when.
$13,455.
$14,310.
$15,620.
$16,005...
Gordon: Keep going sparky
Chico: Are you SURE?
Gordon: Yah, I'm sure.
$18,990.
Gordon: THAT'S TOO HARD!
Chico: That... is too much!
Gordon: YAY!
Chico: It was $18,323.
Gordon: Where's my Yaris?
Chico: What would you want with a Yaris in New York city? Moment you leave that
out of your sight it's gone.
Gordon: I'm going to put it into the New Jersey Museum of Yaris's.
Chico: Of course. The OTHER big thing on April Fool's Day... ZONK redemption. We
have the biggest pepole to ever have been Zonked on Let's Make a Deal. We bring
them back to have one more go at the Marketplace of America, which I thought was
pretty cool.
Gordon: I liked it a lot. unfortunately, some of the people who got Zonked again
didn't like it - and the landscape was pretty much littered with Zonks.
Chico: The biggest re-Zonk happened at the top of the show, when Julie, who lost
out on $20,000 (three times) plays our favorite LMAD game, Panic Button... and
loses all three prizes IN A ROW. No Apple products. No trip to Belize. And no
sporting goods.
Gordon: And no redemption
Chico: Then we have perhaps the biggest redemption story coming from Renee, who
was zonked by a box. She gets a Michael Kors bag. Will she keep it for a small
box? The same box that got her last time?
Chico: She takes the box... and gives up a deal in a deal... a 2013 HYUNDAI
ACCENT. She can keep that box or trade for the big box. What would you do?
Gordon: If this is a repeat deal, then you know Hyundais are all over the place.
I'll take the Big Box
Chico: In the small box... THE HYUNDAI. Will you keep the big box for a small
envelope?
Gordon: Keep the Big Box
Chico: In the envelope... Zonky Fights!
Gordon: Aw.
Chico: You kept the big box... Renee kept the small box. In the Big Box.... THE
HYUNDAI! You called that. Hyundais all over theplace. She was the big winner of
April Fool's Day. Meanwhile, let's switch gears to something ELSE that happened
April Fool's Day. *puts on sunglasses & jheri curl* We're going back to the 80s
for a moment. Taking in a classic and seeing if it holds up to the standards of
the here and now. In this case, it's the final season of the 80s camp classic
(and yes, it's very camp) $aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaale of the Century.
Gordon: Really camp
Chico: Unless you have been living under a rock for the last 30 years, you know
how it works. Three players, $5 questions up or down in various formats.
Somewhere within the game you have fabulous prizes at discount prices. For
example, let's take a here-and-now Wii U, which is around $600, give or take.
You can have it for $6 in-game money. It's simple, really. What makes THIS
particular brand of Sale is the end game, which was implemented as a response to
sagging ratings across the board... BERNISCHKE WHEEL...was the Winner's Big
money Game, which seemed a little bit of a clash with the Sale format. In
retrospect... it didn't belong. It was "Go"... and it didn't have much of a
place.
Gordon: Gee, I do remember saying how much the bonus game version blew chunks.
Chico: I think you did. The rest of the game, thank goodness, is just as you
remembered it. And had they gone the OTHER way with it, the first 13 weeks,
perhaps would've made a lot more sense.
Gordon: Not really. I always preferred the shopping segment. THe winners board
was cool also. But the bonus money game had no sense to it,
Chico: It really didn't. Think about that moment in history for a bit. 1988.
1989. What was NBC trying to stave off? They had just lost Wheel to CBS. Both
Sale and Scrabble her basically treading water for dear life. CBS was STILL atop
the charts with Price and Feud and Card Sharks. And we're still not even talking
about the syndication market.
Gordon: Very true. Which means time to cut costs. Keep in mind Scrabble was
always low budget.
Chico: Always. So Sale of the Century... still very good, but we needed to see
some mid-run goodness. Like the 1985, 86 seasons, when Summer Bartholomew was
starting.
Gordon: So you had that return - and you saw Scott Hostetler on Press Your Luck
Chico: Which is always awesome. One more time, please.... HONG KONG, ALRIGHT!
Gordon: Whoo-hoo!
Chico: So if you were going to give Sale a grade... for holding up to the test
of time... what would you get?
RETRO |
$ALE OF THE CENTURY
GSN - 9:30a ET Weekdays |
GORDON |
CHICO |
AVERAGE-O-MATIC |
B- |
B |
B |
Gordon: The front game has always been fun for me, so that gets an A. The money
game for me is a D. Average it out, and it's a B-. Keep in mind the previous
formats would get a much higher grade because their bonus games are far
superior.
Chico: B sounds about right. A really strong game, but an end game that is
signaling the beginning of the end of the franchise. Speaking of long
franchises, they're merging in the Philippines. No, not like that.
Gordon: Corinne probably wishes that the merge went on a little while longer.
With all of the Favorites left, they could cannibalize their own. Philip is
planning on end game, and the strategy to add some fans to it while still
keeping them in the minority is a good one.
Chico: Phillip finally comes to play. And the end results in our first
blindside.
Gordon: That play shows that he is willing to lead. His social game though is
still atrocious.
Chico: Well duh. If anything this move shows that NO ONE is safe. In fact, give
me a minute to punch up the schematics on my magic window here, it was a
down-the-middle split between Corinne & Sherri, 7-5. Votes for Sherri: Eddie,
Malcolm, Michael, Reynold, and Corinne. Looks like the fans are trying to play
"cannibalize their own for safety". Votes for Corinne: Andrea, Brenda, Cochran,
Dawn, Erik, Phillip, and Sherri. Of course, it doesn't look major with the fans
because there are ONLY SO FEW OF THEM.
Gordon: Well the good about that is that the Favorites, if they are smart, can
be used as extra votes until the time to get rid of them is nigh
Chico: Basically. So does the favorite-backlash continue?
Gordon: If I'm Philip, not yet. I still need to Pagong some fans until the ones
I want are left. Then you get rid of the Favorites not in my alliance. I'f I'm
any fan, or a favorite outside of Philip's Stealth R Us alliance, I have to get
rid of Philip NOW, before he turns into an asset that makes people want to bring
him into the Final 3 as easy money.
Chico: Makes sense if you think about it, but in another day, it's a one-man vs.
the world act Phillip is fighting.
Gordon: True. However I think his biggest enemy may be himself.
Chico: No doubt about that. AT least he doesn't have to write speeding tickets
to himself.
Chico: This week, we go to Botswana to make up for the make-good we had last
week.
Gordon: Or in this case, a make bad. you know I always wondered why no one got
arrested for speeding on this show. I have my answer.
Chico: Okay, what the Racers have to do a) get to the Polling Station, and 2)
take on the roadblock of tending to goats on a canoe. Or maybe you want to C.
waterski without skis. That's your Fast Forward for this leg of the race. From
there, we go to the Detours; Brains or Brawn. In Brains, you had to remember the
shapes of 10 African animals and the order in which they appeared on a game
board. In Brawn, fill a sandsledge with firewood and get it to a campsite via
donkey.
Gordon: This is a no-brainer on which one Id do
Chico: Ah yes, but this is where the "When in Rome" rule comes into play. Two
teams, Max & Katie and Caroline & Jennifer, end up getting ticketed for
speeding. Race rules state that you have to settle all of your debts, including
legal infractions, before you are allowed to check in. And THAT's why you don't
see anyone get arrested on the Race. Because you have to pay your fines before
you're even allowed to continue.
Gordon: I still want to see an arrest.
Chico: We know. We know. Will you settle for Pam & Winnie not winning?
Gordon: Meh. They weren't one of the stronger teams, though I'm sorry to see
them go.
Chico: Me too. You sorry to see Burnell Taylor go?
Gordon: ...no.
Chico: I didn't think so.
Chico: This week, we rocked it out... kinda.
Gordon: More mediocre singing. Yay.
Chico: We also learned something interesting about America in the top 7. Lazaro,
who I thought was leaving this week, is in the top 3 with Kree and Angie. Bottom
two: Amber Holcomb and Burnell Taylor, who .... let's be honest. He mailed it
in.
Gordon: Why did you think he was leaving?
Chico: Did you see what he did last week?
Gordon: You knew he wasn't going anywhere. The fact that he made it to the
bottom 2 + Devin leaving meant that all of the Latino vote would go to Lazaro.
You knew that would put Burnell on notice. Do you not learn these things?
Chico: Of course I learn these things. But this season was a game changer with
less people watching who have more votes.
Gordon: Wrong. The philosophy and psychology are still the same. You vote to
bail out the people in trouble.
Chico: Shows what I know. Does that mean Amber is safe this week? Because that
would be... a good (?) thing. And Burnell's votes get s-plit, meaning that if
you're not an R&B singer, you're in trouble.
Gordon: That's better thinking. The R&B vote will come in to save Amber. Janelle
could have issues, but if I'm Candace, I better not mail it in either. And if
I'm Lazaro, that performance this week did nothing to get votes. I'm still in
huge doo doo. That being said, keep in mind the judges still have a Save.
Chico: They do. I think they use it.
Gordon: If there's a woman at the bottom, they will.
Chico: Because they want a woman to win. Just saying. One woman who has won:
Finola Hughes. She & Jason Thompson are celebrating General Hospital's 50th
anniversary on the Millionaire set. It's a...
Chico: .... of...
Chico: The two soap stars have $67,600 for The Art of Elysium no matter what
happen, but now they're going up against the $500,000 question.
Gordon: Let's see it.
In 1993, the first "webcam" was activated in University of Cambridge's computer
lab so that its employees could keep an eye on a what?
A: Coffee pot
B: Bathroom line
C: Water cooler
D: Candy machine
Chico: If you think about it for a minute, it's actually a pretty easy get.
Gordon: Very. Though I would prefer E. Sheila E's Dressing Room
Chico: Hey-oh!
Gordon: If you're using a webcam for this, you want to not waste time and stay
at your computer while watching to see if something's done. The only thing that
makes sense is the Coffee pot, so you can see when the coffee is ready. The
answer is A.
Chico: I was thinking of the old axiom, the watched pot never boils.
Gordon: And then you can use the other pot, which would be B.
Chico: Caffeine does this. Finola & Jason bail out with $250,000 for charity.
And they get a nice little GH scene out of it as well, so everyone wins. Quick
bonus time for winners...
Chico: Rebecca Rider is going to the Big Dance next year, though she'll only
have five wins under her belt. Of course, when you are 28 and you have over
$100,000... who's complaining?
Gordon: Not me. Nice job by Rebecca.
Chico: Here's the final that did her in. The category: At the Grocery Store.
SCRATCHIES!
The national promotion board for this food, Citrullus lanatus, lists hydration
as a primary health benefit.
Gordon: (Puts on Gallagher Outfit) What is a Watermelon?
Chico: *puts on poncho* Let'er rip!
Gordon: (Uses Sledgehammer) Wheeeeee!
Chico: She didn't get it. Salvo Candela did. He returns Monday with $47,000 and
change. Meanwhile, Ken Jen & Amanda are recreating the Luke & Laura love
scenes... awww.
Gordon: ... and now they're creating the scenes where Lucky Spencer was
conceived.
Chico: Ew?
Gordon: Some things you just can't unsee. Roll That Beautiful Brain Footage.
(Doug:
Live, local, and latebreaking... From the four corners of the globe to
your frontal lobe, this is WLTI Brainvision News, and now here's Gordon Pepper,
Chico Alexander, and the award-winning Brainvision News Team)
Chico: Thanks, Doug. First of all... I need the ... okay, your collection of
Yankees bats are broken. What the hell, man?
Gordon: ...I was in a bad mood when Texiera went down.
Chico: I see that
Gordon: Here (Gives Chico a Bat Rack) This is intact.
Chico: Okay.
CNBC has a new show called "Crowd Rules", which is a little bit like Bank of
Hollywood... if Pat Kiernan hosted it.
Gordon: ZZZZZZZZZZZZzzzzzzzzzzzz
Chico: From Michael Davies comes this show where small businesses compete in
front of a panel which includes Kiernan, jeweler Kendra Scott, and a guest
expert in order to help a studio audience decide who wins $50,000. That will
premiere April 30.
Something a little more exciting is "Exit", which gets a greenlight from Syfy.
The show, based on the Japanese series called Dero!, has four teams of two
competing to get out of a room.
Gordon: They have Dero! on YouTube. Check the show out. It's a lot of fun.
Chico: Can't wait for that. What can we wait for this week?
Gordon: I do have a Datebook
April 13 is Bet On Your Bab....I can wait.
Chico: Me too. We will have a review of that on our next show.
Gordon: Of course that means we have to watch it.
Chico: ... this could be bad. But this is going to be good coming up next. Let's
get loaded.
Deal or No Deal Slots. One of our favorites in the AC (Gordon can tell
stories)... Its coming to the GSN Casino app.
Gordon: True. However I want to see the Press your Luck slots. :D
Chico: That... would be AWESOME
Gordon: It would. And yes, I have stories on that, too. Though it's in the
casino, so they probably won't get a port over. Though that would be a good
idea. I do have bad ideas though.
Chico: Let's hear 'em.
Are YOU Smarter than...Dennis Rodman, who needs to learn how to spell.
Gordon: So you have a task for Donald Trump's wife's new product. How do you
spell her name?
Chico: M-E-L-A-N-I-A.
Gordon: That's correct. How did Dennis spell it?
Chico: M-I-L-A-N-I-A (batman symbol)
Gordon: And here comes Commissioner Trump to send him away to Arkham Asylum -
where he belongs.
Chico: Nice
Gordon: And then Mr Freeze comes in and serves some nice chilled Haterade.
Chico: Yummy
Kendra Wilkinson quits Splash, sighting fear of heights, which you would figure
would be a requirement if you're going on a diving show. Ummm....why again did
you decide to do this show? Oh yes, the money.
Chico: She swears it's not an act. Greg Louganis thinks it is. Greg Louganis...
has some expertise in this field.
Gordon: Just a tad. Meanwhile, Adam Lambert and Sauli Koskinen are splittsville.
Chico: Aw.
Gordon: Adam and Kendra both need to go on a trip
Chico: I have just the place. No water whatsoever.
Gordon: Hugh Hefner's Sand pit?
Chico: ...no. Egypt, Lebanon, and the United Arab Emirates. Smack dab in the
middle of the desert.
On the heels of a Pan Arab pick up of "The Voice" comes pick ups of "Millionaire
Hot Seat" and "Let's Make a Deal".
Chico: The Voice will be heading for Dubai. Same with Hot Seat. And LMAD is
going to Egypt.
Gordon: Nice.
Chico: Now do you say "Zonk" in Arabic?
Gordon: ...Zonk?
Chico: That works. Now how do you say "media ho"?
Gordon: Media Ho.
Chico: (Luda)
In this week's Media Ho Report, Sara Bereilles exits the SIng Off, Ryan Seacrest
does a tell all on Kim Kardashian, Penn and Teller get a star on the Walk of
Fame...Blake Shelton will sing at Kelly Clarkson's wedding, Burnell Taylor
'really likes' Amber Holcomb, and Devin Velez thinks Nicki Minaj is mean.
Gordon: But none of them are the hoes of the week.
Chico: I would've thought Devin had it nailed with a Twitter war. =p
Gordon: Close. The hoes are Amy Poehler, Matthew Perry, Jason Bateman, Kristin
Bell and fiance Dax Shephard, Maya Rudolph, Fred Armisen, Minnie Driver, Kal
Penn, Martin Short, Ellie Kemper, Kristen Chenoweth, Cheryl Hines, Molly Shannon
and Max Greenfield.
Chico: Ah, the celebrity gamers for Hollywood Game Night. Any excuse to see
Ellie Kemper I'm on board with.
Gordon: or 'Hey let's get my friends a paycheck!'
Chico: Yay! Still no date for that yet
Gordon: Nope. And those...are your hoes.
Chico: And that's Brainvision (shutting down) Still to come, we go infiltrating
things that needed to be infiltrated. Because hey it's been a boring midseason,
but first, g?
Gordon: First, we do some Zinging. You're reading WLTI. You give us 22 minutes
and we'll give you 22 Acts on America's Got Talent that we'll see over a singer,
because Dog Acts are the new black.
Chico: How about a cross between Adele and Rebel Wilson... wait, they're
basically the same person. Never mind.
(BrainVision has been brought to you by Celebrity Tax night. We watch
celebrities do their taxes, because you've always wanted to know. Flava Flav
hosts.)
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