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Episode 32.12 - The Best of
Gordon: Let me guess - one family is made up of Tribbles and the other one is
made up of Tholians? Chico: Close. Vulcans and Klingons Gordon: I think Tribbles and Tholians would be more fun. Chico: Khan Noonien Singh hosts. Gordon: Well, there you go., Welcome back to WLTI. Thanks for being a part of
our week and allowing us to be a part of yours. Now Chico is a med tech, but
this week, I am the doctor, as I put on my papaya hat (puts on hat), Now during
the past few weeks, I hear that you have garnered email for me? Chico: I have! Gordon: Excellent. Whats the first email? Chico: First is from Naples, FL. Hi, Florida.
Dear Dr Gordon -
I love music. I love women. I can woo women with music but when.it.comes time
for me to talk, I start to stammer. And being on TV as a loser didnt help. How
do I solve this?
Gordon: Hi LA - The problem is that although you love music, you don't love
women - you love your male personal trainer instead. This is according to eZine
magazine and picked up by a number of publications. Chico: We're going to hell. Gordon: I'm a doctor that believes in tough love. But there is a solution - you
need to join the Constantin Maroulis gravy train and go to Broadway. They will
eat you up and you'll be a big star. Then you can leave your ice cream scooping
with the boyfriend where you can be the little spoon. Signed, Dr. Gordon. Chico: Ben & Jerry's. Gordon: Cherry Garcia Chico: Next letter...
Dear Doctor Gordon -
I've been reading the newspaper (on TV) and have noticed that my show is being
compared to Shark Tank. But there's audience involvement that wasn't there in
Shark Tank. How can I get my show to stand out?
Signed: PK in NYC
Gordon: Dear PK - The problem with any small audience show with participation
where the participation can influence the action is that a contestant can stack
the deck in their favor. And the premise of your show is Shark Tank with an
audience. My only advice is to be more flowing with the money and have a
lighter, more fun tone than the tank. All of a sudden, I'm getting sleepy....zzzzzzzzzzzz Chico: ... DOCTOR! Gordon: umm...wha? I'm awake. Signed, Dr. Gordon. Next one? Chico: Next one...
My brother is getting all the hot hosting gigs, even though I'm a better host
than he is. I shared the stage with Tom Bergeron for crying out tears. What the
hell man... what the hell...
signed, Drew from Cincinnati
Gordon: Dear Drew - You're old news now. Like Vanilla Ice or Flava Flav.
However, you could be the newest celebrity for VH1. Go petition them and ask for
a series with you and Nick and the rest of your ba...oh wait, already did that.
Well, maybe Hip Hop Squares is looking for talent for season 3. Signed, Dr.
Gordon. Chico: Or that failing, Old Navy commercials... hey, Boyz II Men are awesome.
Especially live. Letter #4....
Dear Dr. Gordon -
I want back on TV. Preferably not with a singing judge. Any suggestions?
Signed, Purrfect the cat
Gordon: Dear Purrrfect -You are a fine feline. The kitty that's witty. The cat
with all that. I suggest first of all that you see what judges are going to be
on Idol and the X Factor. You may get a slot there. If worse comes to worse, you
can swing by the Lingerie Bowl, because if there's anything we want to see at
the lingerie bowl, it's a fine pussy. Signed, Dr. Gordon. Chico: Have I said we're going to hell yet? Gordon: Nurse Chico, what sort of meds did you give Doctor Gordon today? or did
you even give me any? Chico: .... That explains it. These are expired. Gordon: ...from 1969? Really? Chico: Expired meds are BAD kids. Letter #5...
Dear Doctor Gordon Man...
I went skyping with my mommy who works with a thing about prices being right. I
saw the cheery man in the glasses and people cheering and it was the funnest
thing I ever sawed. Then I went online and people had a problem with my mommy's
TV show, wishing that a dog or some barker was back on it. I want to tell those
people to leave cheery pudgy man alone. How?
Signed Ruby Delucci.
Gordon: Dear Ruby - You will find that in life, that you shouldn't really care
what people say. Especially those idiots online, who only wish they were in the
position that the cheery pudgy man was in. I think the next time you get to be
on TV, you need to take your hand, roll it into a fist, and take the middle
finger and extend it out. People LOVE it when little kids do that. You'll be the
most popular person in the world. Signed, Dr. Gordon. Chico: There's a meme waiting to happen. Gordon: I'm doing this for the children. Chico: By the way, how cool was that skype in with Rachel and baby Ruby?
Can we get a video of that?
(video courtesy CBS)
Gordon: It was cool. I'd still like to see Ruby give the finger. Last one? Chico: Last one...
What. Is. Your. Name?!
Signed, not a Silent from Trenzalore
Chico: ...obviously the wrong doctor there. Last one...
Dr. GORDONIS... my Adonis...
I saw the Bed-Chico-ler... now I got my eye set on you pookie.
Chico: ... I'd take my chances with the Silent. Gordon: Dear Nicki - I'm glad you took my advice on the last show. However, if
you really want to bed me, you'll show up at the Game Show Marathon this
weekend. Chico and I will compete against each other, and you can be the special
bonus prize. Wouldn't that be fun, Chico? Chico: Not as fun as beating you. Tee hee. 24hourgsm.pacdudegames.com Gordon: I'll give you the advantage - you're used to being up at 2am Chico: I am. I'm also used to being up on what should and will happen given
opportunity x. Yeah. Math skills. Stay tuned, Should & Will is next! Gordon: We'll get to Chico's skills after the break.
(Brought to you by The X Games factor. Can you sing while skateboadrding a ramp or alpine sliding? Wee Man hosts.)
Chico: Nice. I heard Bob Burnquist was a little pitchy dawg. Gordon: He didn't have it. Now as we progress to the finales that are the next 2
weeks, time for a little Should and Will time. We start with...
Survivor. Who wins?
Chico: Should: Eddie. Will: Cochran. Because a favorite always wins. Gordon: Should: Eddie. he deserves it after survivor through two minority
alliances. WIll: Cochran. There's no way Cochran will allow Eddie to get to the
final 3, and he'll win because of it. Next one...
American Idol. Who wins? Will America care?
Chico: Should: Office finale airing on the same night. Hee hee. Will: Candice.
Its like a vocal Hummer vs a vocal Bugatti Veyron. Both have speed and finesse,
but Candice has power. Gordon: Should: Candace and yes. She has a great voice,. Will: Candace and no.
With an average of only 12 million people watching, she won't have the fan base
to have a significant career. She may get a few R&B hits in the beginning, but I
see her going the way of Jordin Sparks, where she may need a tanelt behind her
to restart a career. Chico: In a movie with a dead soul star? Yeah I can see that. Gordon: I can too. but not as a megastar. Next one...
Dancing With the Stars. The winner is....
Chico: Should: the law firm of Jacoby & Smirnoff. Its NFL for cripes sake.
Will... same. Gordon: Should: Jacoby. The fact that 4 people will make the finals shows me
that he will have the edge. Will: Jacoby. NFL players do not lose when they get
to the finals. Next one...
The American Idol judges. We know they are all gone. Who replaces them?
Chico: Should: two industry nobodies and a pop star from the mid to late 90s. If
you're going to go nuclear, go all the way. Will: a has-been, a would-be, and a
never was. Gordon: Should: Simon / Randy / Paula. Will: Iovine / P. Diddy / Katy Perry /
Taylor Swift Chico: Taylor Swift has the crazy eyes, though. Gordon: Kanye West would agree with you. Next one...
Donald' Trump's Celebrity Apprentice. Will it see the light of day?
Chico: Should: no. Its part its prime and its run its course, and no amount.of
any press is good press is going to save it. Will: ... yes because NBC Nneeds
something to put on that hour. Gordon: Should: No. It needs to be buried alongside the civillian version. Will:
Yes, but NOT on NBC proper. Those feeble ratings would look great on a cable
channel like CNBC, etc. It wouldn't shock me if it made it's way to Cable - even
GSN. Chico: Not. GSN. Gordon: We can only dream. Last one...
The Upfronts - will we see a new game show hit?
Chico: Should: yes. There are ideas out there, usually reserved for midseason.
Will:.... yes, IF Million Second Quiz does well. Gordon: Should Yes. Will: Yes. I can see Million Dollar Quiz do VERY well, as
long as we get normal humans out there and the production is solid. We'll all
find out together. Chico: Yes we will. And that's a look at Should & Will. Next, a look at Speed
and Speedier. Gordon: That comes after this!
(Brought to you by the 24 hour Game Show Marathon. No we're
not done plugging it. Go to their Facebook page and DONATE.)
Chico: Facebook.com/24hourgsm. Go now! Its next week! You don't want to miss out
on it, do you?
All the cool kids are doing it Gordon: And while you donate, we go to the Speed Round...NOW. Chico: Survivor: Cochran wins, right? Gordon: Yep. Jeopardy: which college reigns supreme? Chico: I'm going to go with Georgetown. Jim wins Idol. Candice wins. We're just
wonder if we're watching. Gordon: The Offfice Reunion soulds fun. We have 2 weeks of sweeps left - any
shot of a Millionaire on MIllionaire, wof, et al.? Chico: Nope. Someone wins a car on the Feud, though. Gordon: Nice, Do we win any email? Chico: Lets... see... nope. Gordon: What do they need to do for that? Chico: They can clog our inbox at email@example.com, like us on Facebook,
or follow.us on Twitter. We're @wltiongsnn... I'm @dinoralexander. He's @gsnnhaterade...And
the marathon is @24hourgsm Gordon: And that ends our show,. Special thanks to no one in particuolar, as
it's just Chico and I this week. Chico: Skyping at 2 in the morning. Killer fun. Gordon: Next week - the after math of that AND Part 1 of the Week of Champions.
You won't want to miss it. For Chico, this is Gordon Pepper, saying Game Over
and Spread the Love.