Chico: This is... The Hamtaro Max-Shred 5000
Gordon: The perfect place for people to put in their NCAA Brackets. I'm still
good with all 4 final four and 6 of my elite 8 still in there. Chico, on the
other hand...(gives Chico the shredder)
Chico: ...*shreds bracket*
Chico: Already. Florida Gulf Coast, where did THEY come from? I will say this
about Florida Gulf Coast... their coach's wife... DAMN.
Gordon: G-Town, New Mexico AND Kansas State, Chico?
Chico: LaSalle...who knew? I have more than my fair share of upsets, but you're
not going to be upset once I say...from Somewhere in America... WLTI... is...
Gordon: YAY! Gordon and Chico here, along with special guest Mr. Jason Block
Jason: YO! :)
Chico: good to have you here.
Jason: Glad to be here.
Gordon: And we start with someone who will be playing Millionaire Brackets.
Because Cedric the Entertainer just got associated with them.
Chico: In a move that comes as a shock to no one reading this site, Cedric the
Entertainer will probably ask a question of "It's Worth
WHAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAT?!" on Millionaire. Cedric the Entertainer will be
your host of Millionaire starting this fall. Now let's get a few things out of
the way before we continue. First of all.. Cedric is NOT as green as you think.
Chico: He's hosted one variety show and one game show. And he is a comic. So he
comes with SOME experience. Oh yeah, and his star turn as Gus Petch in
Intolerable Cruelty. Can't forget that. So he comes with experience. But can he
parlay that experience into this show? If you remember, the bar is lofty. First
with Chris Tarrant, then with Regis, then with Meredith.
Jason: May I give you the REAL reason why they hired him?
Chico: I think I know the answer here.
Jason: Two words...
Chico: STEVE HARVEY.
Jason: Exactly. Cedric's a black comic.
Chico: Not even that, he's just a comic period.
Jason: it's the same thing.
Gordon: Well you can say that. You can also say they want the audience to get
younger and get the ratings up. On both that and your mentality, you can't do
better than Cedric.
Chico: You really can't.
Jason: I dont disagree. But the Steve Harvey factor is HUGE here.
Chico: And if I can just say so...it does seem like Meredith has been phoning it
Jason: Being honest.
Chico: When you take the energy out of the room, you take the energy out of the
show. And this show has been lacking energy for a good while.
Jason: Energy...a better format...etc
Chico: Cedric is a shot in the arm in the energy department.
Jason: But will he be able to out fox the format
Chico: I hope so. It's become a money quizzer. It needs to get back to the
player. I think Cedric is a good fit for that.
Jason: I am not as high on Cedric as you are.
Chico: You're not as high on Millionaire as anyone is, J. And that's okay. I
mean, there's nothing there anymore.
Jason: It's like a girlfriend who went away and got totally bad plastic surgery
Chico: So you see Cedric as more Bill Cullen in Joker's or Jim Caldwell on TTD?
Jason: Jim Caldwell. He will be known as holding on to the captain's wheel as
the ship sinks.
Chico: So the question remains... does this help the show?
Jason: in the short term yes. There will be a curiosity factor. But as a
Gordon: Here's the problem with this move. You have a comic who is already
attuned with this demographic when it comes to Steve Harvey. While I think
Cedric is a nice fit, I don't know if it will work just because he's trying to
attract a demographic that doesn't watch the show. The question is - will his
fanbase watch the show? I'm sure they will sample it - the question is will the
audience stay there? I don't know. It's Worth What? showed us that 1. His
audience will tune in to watch him and 2. it will run away if they don't like
what they see. I think history repeats itself here - you'll get a bump, but
he'll have to work hard to keep it.
Jason: G is on the money
Chico: In other words, it's a play for the younger crowd that simply won't work
because the show is not as viral as a Family Feud or a TPIR. It's good for
curiosity, but as far as the long-term solution,
the damage is already done.
Jason: Exactly, Chico.
Chico: Now if you want to see a classic game show done right, you could watch
the John Carpenter run on Millionaire again, or you could tune into GSN mornings
starting April 1. Now as far back as I've been a game show fan on the web (we're
talking about 1999 or so), people have been begging... BEGGING... to see classic
Sale of the Century on GSN. My friends, your prayers have FINALLY been answered.
Jason: The last 13 weeks of the Sale Run start april 1.
Chico: So the last 13 weeks of the NBC run of Sale is finally on thanks to a new
deal from Fremantle. Said deal also sees more eps of Press Your Luck and Match
Jason: As a fan I say...ABOUT TIME!
Chico: But this is the time for SOTC, which hasn't been on TV since the early
90s when USA ran it. And yes, we're purposefully not mentioning THAT SHOW from
Gordon: The one that's oh to TEMPTing?
Chico: Yes. Now shush.
Gordon: Heh. So GSN is picking up the version of SOTC that caused people to stop
watching and you consider this a good thing?
Jason: Yes I do!
Chico: I think you have your versions mixed up. This is the GOOD version. Well,
the last 13 weeks of it.
Jason: And this is probably a test bed for a new GSN version
Gordon: This is the $5000, $6000, $7000, $8000, $9000, $10,000, CAR version,
Chico: For the bonus round?
Gordon: Thn this is NOT the good version.
Chico: You want the first 13 weeks instead of the last 13 weeks.
Gordon: I want Curtis Warren's Run, or Mark DeCarlo's Run. Or Alice's run. Or
Barbara's run. Or Stephanie's run and win in the Tournament of Champions.
Chico: You want Sally Julian in all her ... glory?
Gordon: I'll even take take Sally Julian. I'm not getting ANY of those here.
Chico: No, but you're getting, and Jason brought this up already, a bit of a
test. Because if GSN has taught us ANYTHING over the last year and a half or
so... They will not pick anything up unless they see a value in it. BIG BOARD?
We'll Buy THAT for $60
- Family Feud
- Minute to Win It
- 1 vs. 100
- The Pyramid
- .... Sale of the Century?
Chico: This one's called "We'll Buy That for $60 (Plus the $200 in My Pocket AND
We'll Knock a Dollar Off of the Price)" Let's review a couple of key pickups.
Chico: First of all... Steve Harvey Family Feud.
Jason: Which they have beaten to death :)
Chico: a) they saw the rise in the ratings and decided to play for those. As a
result, ratings for primetime are good and syndie ratings for the Feud are good.
(yes, they count, too).
Jason: you are trying to tell me that GSN putting the Harvey Feud correlates
with it's ratings rise?
Chico: The other way round. If you think about it, and I mean REALLY think about
it... the 500,000 per episode is a drop in the bucket comparatively. But every
little bit counts. And in terms of off-syndication syndication, those numbers
Jason: May I take the next one?
Chico: Take the next one.
Jason: MINUTE TO WIN IT
Chico: Prime example. Big ratings in primetime means that GSN will give new
episodes a shot with Apolo Ohno. This could be huge IF they do it right.
Jason: Big IF
Chico: This is one of those shows that's really hard to mess up at its core. I
mean, it takes a really high level of ineptitude to mess this up.
Jason: Anything else?
Chico: 1 vs 100. An audience for the original means that Carrie Ann Inaba gets
to host her first game show. It also means that we get to cheap out on the
format. This is one of those instances that proves that if you do it right, you
have a hit on your hands. They didn't do this right, so they have crap.
Gordon: Toss in Lingo. You have the good Chuck Woolery version, and then the not
so good Bill Engvall version.
Chico: Right. Same with The Pyramid, which started out really really nice, then
crashed as the show moved forward. I don't know what happened mid-season, but
there you go.
Jason: We know. Bad Celebrities. Bad rules.
Chico: So ... Sale of the Century? I think America is ready for a PROPER version
of this. Hard quiz format, surprises around every corner, risk, reward, and big
big cheese. Whether they get it depends on how this run of shows does, but
collectors? You may want to fire up your DVRs accordingly.
Gordon: Well, no. If Im a collector, I'd be MUCH more excited about GSN's other
release - the next 57 episodes of Press Your Luck. These are episodes than we
haven't seen in 30+ years, and that includes the Maari run, some amazing hit a
car on the last space wins, a bunch of people who made the intros, and dudes
named Scott Hostetler and Michael Haines.
Chico: I hear they're awesome guys.
Gordon: And hence, this is why I don't care about SOTC and I do about PYL
Chico: A lot of good runs are on their way. One take-or-leave run ended Thursday
Chico: Let's do a quick rundown here. Season 7 of American Idol was won by David
Cook, a nice guy who could play the guitar. Season 8 - Kris Allen, another nice
guy, another guitar. Season 9 - Lee DeWyze: HGWG. Season 10 - Scotty McCreery,
Nice guy. Probably has a guitar somewhere. Season 11 - Phillip Phillips. I hear
he got his guitar platinumed to match his platinum single. Season 12... No nice
guy with a guitar this year. Paul Jolley's done. This week we go to the standard
review of the bottom 3. So too will we. Your bottom three are Devin Velez, Amber
Holcomb, and the aforementioned Paul Jolley.
Gordon: Well you knew there was zero way a WGWG was going to win. The producers
ordained it. We could have a HWWB win it this year.
Jason: Hot Woman with boobs.
Gordon: Or...a Hot Woman Who's Boring and those don't sell albums.
Chico: Ah. So what else does this mean?
Jason: They are trying to set up a female to win. And no one cares...hence the
Gordon: There's one thing about a female. There's another thing about a GOOD
female that people want to watch This crop is not very watchable.
Chico: So there's that. There's also a bit of a divide.
Chico: With eight left, we have a top four and the rest can sod yourselves. It's
a vulgar way of saying "there's parity". On top, you have Candice Glover, Kree
Harrison, and Angie Miller. Three great women. Three great singers. Then there's
Lazaro Arbos. Not particularly a strong singer. In fact, you could say he sucks,
but he has a good backstory. So there's your top. Your bottom... everyone else.
Amber, Devin, Janelle, and Burnell. Not really strong, not really memorable. And
in Devin's case, not even playing his strongest suit. Which is why he's twice in
Jason: This could be the Jump the Shark Season
Chico: Could be?
Chico: Thank you.
Gordon: Here's what happened. This stopped being the find the best singer and
market around them and started being let's find the most marketable person and
hope they sing.
Jason: AMEN and Hallelujah
Chico: Preach. So what else does this mean? Means that Janelle and KRee are
going to fight for the country vote... There's still a glut of R&B singers, and
there's no saving Devin.
Gordon: Devin is toast next week. And Im going to fall asleep for 2-3 weeks.
Chico: So you'll miss this next one. It's called Splash, and it's based off of
the Dutch series of the same name. It's celebrities diving for fun and profit.
Said stars are judged accordingly, and the lowest score is eliminated.
Gordon: You know, Splash is one of those shows...that will drive me back to
Chico: And yet, it's scoring for ABC... probably due to coincidence, but...
seriously, what is UP WITH THAT? The good... well, IS there any good?
Gordon: It's Event TV. The premise is sort of interesting.
ABC - Tuesdays 8p ET
Jason: Curiosity factor. Nothing more. Look what happened to the Taste. Sorry.
This is an F for BELLY FLOP.
Gordon: People are watching because they want to see the train wreck. They want
the head first belly flop, and while you will get that for the first few
episodes, you won't when the stars figure out what they are doing. Ironically,
that's when the interest is going to wane. It did for me long before then. D-.
Jason: Not for me. G. I couldnt give a rats ass about celebs diving
Chico: It looks like Louie Anderson doing a belly flop into a pool at Riverside
City College. And that's... just scary typing it.
Gordon: On an Ndamukong Suh face plant.
Chico: Hard to type. Hard to watch. I'd rather be playing the new SimCity. F.
Gordon: Let's move on, shall we?
Chico: Yes. Speaking of PR disasters...
Chico: The Racers are in Vietnam, and no one is more angry than the American
Legion. First of all, let's say that this is NOT the first time that we've been
Jason: No...but this time the Communist Propaganda was on full display
Chico: I believe we had a downed bomber...
Jason: The B-52 Memorial which celebrated the deaths of 4 Americans.
Chico: And a task that involved memorizing the national anthem.
Jason: Glory to the Revolutionary Youth or something like that
Gordon: Something like that
Chico: And that led to a lengthy letter from the American Legion.
Jason: My father, who is retired USAF, was seriously pissed after watching this
Chico: And for folks who fought the Vietnam War, those feelings still remain, no
matter how many people will try and tell them that the past is gone. The past is
never gone. Sometimes, it's never even past. So this upset a lot of people and
as of this airing, neither CBS nor the amazing race have officially given a
response to this.
Jason: They are afraid to admit they were wrong and insensitive.
Chico: That's usually the case.
Jason: And they wont BTW
Chico: Money talks.
Gordon: And I'm going to piss off some people because I have zero problems with
what The Amazing Race did.
Chico: Hoo boy. Here we go.
Gordon: The Amazing Race is all about visiting different cultures. I have no
problems with it. In fact, I find it fascinating that this is one country's view
of us. This is what peopel need to learn. We arent the saviors of the world.
There are places that hate us, fear us and despise us, and I think it's fair
play for us, as Americans, to know about it.
Jason: I am so on the opposite of this one, it's not funny.
Chico: I think it's a teachable moment for all of us, a distinction between art
and commerce if you will.
Jason: That I agree with.
Chico: No doubt as far as reality TV is concerned, The Amazing Race is art.
Chico: Some find it objectable, some see the lesson to be learned. But then
again, there's the commercial aspect. As long as CBS is making cash money
dollars from it, they're looking away from the art. And honestly, this is the
sort of thing, and I'll be the first to apologize if feelings are hurt from what
I'm about to say...people see what they want to see.
Jason: Meaning what?
Chico: Just as you don't tune into the news for information, you tune in for
vindication. Right or wrong, this is part of a country's history. I'm not saying
it should be celebrated, but it can't be whitewashed just to appeal to the
masses. I'm NOT sympathizing with anyone. But it is what it is. People see what
they want to see.
Gordon: Agreed. Which means you shouldn't cover it up just because you ended up
on the wrong side of the ledger. Clearly VIetnam didn't cover it up, and it's
there for people to remember.
Chico: And The Amazing Race is history in action.
Jason: No...it's a reality show. CBS is beholden to it's viewers.
Chico: I hate to quote Will Kirby here... but...,"If you have a problem with
Reality TV... then you have a problem with reality".
Jason: True...but you shouldn't flip off military viewers either.
Chico: We'd like to hear what you guys out there think. Tweet us with your
Chico: As far as game is concerned... Dave & Connor are out on injury. And
because of that, it turns into a de facto Non-Elimination leg. Chuck & Wynona
ought to send them a fruit basket.
Jason: Pretty much
Chico: For other results, it's time for the big clock on the wall.
Jason: (Sets it to 5:30) Ready?
Chico: Time for the Fastest 5 1/2 Minutes in Game Shows...We call it the Replay!
Chico: We start with TPIR and siblings. Wednesday had three pairs of siblings
win, three lose. One of them won a trip to Vegas. the kicker? They're FROM
Gordon: They get to go home! Yay!
Chico: Troy & David Osborne win the day after bidding on a pool table, an air
hockey, a $4000 shopping spree, and a trip to Switzerland. Actually, it's more
like after Theresa Cattigan & Tina Phillips lose it. Let's play.
Chico: We have a pair of iPads and a pair of Nissan Versas.
Chico: The sisters bid $31,000. The actual price: $30,696.
Chico: TPIR returns Monday after Duke loses... sorry, after basketball.
Gordon: Bitter, party of one. Paging Mr. Bitter, Party of 1.
Gordon: Ivy Winters could also be bitter, as she gets bounced on the Drag Race.
Chico: Bye. Kristina wins the Big Deal on the pre-March Madness LMAD, trading a
home theatre package for a a trip to South Africa and $6500 cash money dollar.
Chico: Danni Allen is the Biggest Loser by ONE POUND... and Jillian can add
another notch to her belt.
Gordon: Making her 9-1 on the show. That's why I'd want Jillian.
Jason: I believe Gordon called that...AGAIN.
Gordon: I believe he did.
Chico: Dancing with the Stars returns for season 16, and on top to begin the run
to the mirrorball... Zendaya Coleman & Val Chmerkovskiy. They have 24. DL
Hughley & Cheryl Burke have 12. And they're back to using the whole number
paddles only. Go figure.
Chico: We're doing the tribal Switch on Survivor, and Matt Bischoff becomes the
latest fan voted off. And surprise surprise, the favorites of the tribe decided
to band together.
Jason: Duh :)
Gordon: They aren't stupid. That's what you need to do. The fans will be
learning this the hard way.
Chico: Yup. Also back this week, The American Bible Challenge.
Jason: How were the ratings?
Chico: 1.154 million.
Jason: DAMN :)
Chico: First team to advance, a group of nuns called the Sisters of Mary.
Jason: Praise be :)
Chico: Meanwhile hour two of some other show on that network halved their
Gordon: Yes you did. That's not too good.
Chico: Project Runway sees Samantha eliminated after Lord & Taylor doesn't like
how she rips the runway. Gina withdraws on Hell's Kitchen, while a no-win
scenario leaves Christian out as well. And in another redemption episode, Cara
Thompson turns zucchini blossoms, dry roasted peanuts, anise liqueur, and mamey
into $10,000 on Chopped.
Chico: And in the play of the week, someone makes a miscalculation on
Jason: Oh yes.
Chico: It happens on Monday's show. The final: Songs.
This U.S. ceremonial song was written in 1811 about the head of a Scottish clan,
not an American leader
Chico: By the way, the response is not "You Deserve a Break today at McDonalds".
Jason: What is Hail to the Chief?
Gordon: Actually, My response was What is 'We'd Like To Thank You Herbert
Chico: SCOTTISH, G. SCOTTISH!
Chico: It was Hail to the Chief. Rob had $10,200. Rayma had $11,600.
Gordon: Rob must bet $1401. Rayna must bet to cover Rob on an All IN.
Chico: All Rayma had to do was bet between $7600 (to lock out third place) and
$8800. She bets... $600.
Chico: She could've won this.
Jason: Big time
Chico: Instead, Rob goes on to win $41,701. Rachel Liptak, though, returns
Monday with $19,201. And that's a Replay. STOP THE CLOCK!
Chico: How did we do, J?
Jason: a little over time this week...but we had a lot.
Jason: We will get there
Chico: We will. Meanwhile, the Hams are enjoying their new bed of Chico's
Jason: It's shredded well
Gordon: Its swanky
Chico: That's the Hamtaro Max-Shred 5000.
Jason: WOW :)
Chico: Okay, kids. It's news time. Gordon, take us up.
Gordon: And no, I didn't have Gonzaga getting past the third round (looks at
Chico, Points at shredder)
Chico: Did you have Florida Gulf Coast?
Chico: Thank you.
Gordon: Roll That Beautiful Brain Footage.
Live, local, and latebreaking... From the four corners of the globe to
your frontal lobe, this is WLTI Brainvision News, and now here's Gordon Pepper,
Chico Alexander, and the award-winning Brainvision News Team)
Chico: Thanks, Doug. First up, let's get to the business that doesn't involve
GSN or entertainers. But they do involve babies.
Gordon: (Gives Chico a Duke Emblemmed Bat)
Chico: *swings for the fences with it, then throws the bat over the fence*
Jason: It's GONE!
Gordon: Really? You threw away my bat?
Chico: You really think I'm going to keep a Dookie bat?
Gordon: ...guess not.
Chico: Then it goes limp without anyone touching it.
Jason: Not. Going. There.
ABC's Bet on Your Baby, which is betting on Melissa Peterman, has pushed... back
a week. The show will bow with a double header on April 13.
Gordon: I'm going to bet that baby doesn't make it past the Summer.
Chico: It'll be lucky if it makes it to 3. Episodes, that is.
Jason: If that
Chico: You saying someone pulls a "Turn On" and network brass calls up the
control and says "GET THAT BLEEP OFF THE AIR!"
Gordon: And then someone will come with a Datebook and put it back on.
Jason: Whatcha got?
We have...the voice. Mii miim mmmmiiiiiii
Chico: you you yooooou. And once again, it'll be the best thing on TV... until
the elimination rounds when it becomes like every other singing show.
Gordon: And while they are snging, I need to get fully loaded.
This week, Simon Cowell is launching a YouTube show, "You Generation", in which
he's looking for the internet's next big superstar.
Chico: WOW I'VE NEVER SEEN THIS BEFORE! THIS IS THE FIRST TIME!
Chico: You pick up quickly
Chico: Any talent show that had a YouTube round. Makes you wonder what other
dumb ideas we have this week
Jason: Gordon has a white board
Gordon: I do.
Jason: I resupplied the markers.
Are YOU Smarter than...Lindsay Lohan, who is caught drinking at a bar in LA.
THis AFTER the judge sentenced her to 90 days in rehab.
Jason: She wont learn will she?
Gordon: And neither will they.
Jason: AH! Augustus
Troupe Stars - yanked before it even makes the air. That's a group of zombies.
Another group is represented by The Bachelor Pad, who, according to Mike Fleiss,
won't be back either.
Jason: So thats why you popped champagne, Chico.
Chico: Moet for EVERYONE! (Pops Cork)
Chico: One down, two to go. Heh. There is good in the world...Or so it would
Let's go to Australia, shall we, where ABC1 is setting up Australia's biggest
pub quiz in the form of "Tractor Monkeys"
The show, hosted by Merrick Watts with a revolving cast of players and regular team
captains in comedian Dave O'Neil and radio announcer Monty Dimond, has launched
an adjoining free iPad app enabling viewers to play along at home and compete in
a nation-wide game of pub trivia, upping the show's audience
participation/competition levels with the year end winner taking home the
inaugural Tractor Monkey Quiz King mantle represented by "a very special unique
Chico: A bit of interactivity at play.
Chico: And if they're lucky, they'll win $20 in gift cards. Or is that just me?
Chico: Or should we say... hey-HO?
In this week's Media Ho Report, Arielle Kebbel hosts Perfect Score, Mark Cuban
challenges Donald Trump to a Harlem Shake, Top Chef contestants go cruising...on
Carson Kressley gets a reunion with Queer Guys with Straight Eyes, Ryan Seacrest
balked at an engagement proposal, and Sean Lowe says he won't move in with
Catherine Giudici until they get married. Trouble in Paradise?
Chico: Either that or they're going to wait it out... you know... for...
Gordon: But none of the mare the ho of the week.
Chico: Who've you got?
Gordon: I have Howard Stern, who may be parlaying his stint on America's Got
Talent to a stint of an evening show host - like The Tonight Show, or his own
12:30 slot. We'll see if that happens
Chico: Yeah, my money's on no.
Gordon: If he really wants it, he'll get it. And those...are your hoes.
Chico: And that's Brainvision. Okay, switch it off, G.
Gordon: (Shutting Down)
Chico: Still to come, we gauge who has the best chances of winning "The
Alex Trebek Sweepstakes" in This, That or The Other, but what's first, G?
Gordon: First, we try to make Heads or Tails out of some current
situations. you're reading WLTI. You give us 22 minutes and we'll give you 22
people we'd pay money to see dive into a pool - if it was filled with
Chico: Munch munch munch!
Gordon: Or rabid man-eating Lawyers.
Chico: Munch munch munch munch!
Gordon: I hear people taste just like chicken
Chico: Wouldn't know.
(BrainVision has been brought to you by Kentucky Fried Tarheels:
The Return of Jasmine Jayhawk. This time around we'll give you the option for
Self-Service: we'll line the box with your now ruined NCAA bracket paper. A box
of 20 for $6.99 and even you'll be a little bit happier even with the demise of
your team. That's Kentucky Fried Tarheels: Ramses Done Right!)