Episode 32.7 - The Alex Trebek Sweepstakes
March 18

Gordon: The Subject: The Apprentice, Jeopardy style. Chico is going to give us some names, We'll see if we'd hire them.
Chico: Sure thing. Here are our four knowns right now...First up, Matt Lauer. Beleaguered host of "The Today Show."
Jason: NO.
Chico: I'd stay away from this only because I know he has the temperament of a child.
Gordon: Jeopardy is not about the host. It's about being a conduit. I don't think Lauer would be a great fit.vIt's for the same reason that while I like Dave Price, he's not a good game show host for for The price is Right, et al.
Chico: You notice how Alex is both knowledgeable and self-deprecating.
Jason: He couldn't do it.
Chico: No sir.
Gordon: The best hosts are conduits
Chico: How about Anderson Cooper?
Jason: He ... COULD.
Chico: He's knowledgeable, self-deprecating, a good conduit AND he's been on set before.
Jason: Of the known four...he is the ONLY one I would CONSIDER. He is an FOJ (Friend of Jeopardy)
Chico: He is indeed an FOJ. He's a Jeop-head.
Gordon: Anderson, of course, has game show experience, as he's hosted THe Mole and has been on Jeopardy.
Jason: So MAYBE.
Chico: Right. What about Brian Williams?
Jason: Hell no. See Matt Lauer
Gordon: Im going to disagree here. I like Brian WIlliams. Keep in mind he's used to the game show scene
Chico: I think he could do it, but he's under contract with NBC and he's a bit big on that.
Gordon: I agree. I think the NBC Contract may stop him from being a player
Chico: What about ... Dan Patrick?
Jason: Too Smarktastic
Gordon: If he can keep the snarks to a minimum (or put it in the clues) he would work. From a personality standpoint, I actually like him the best of the 4.
Chico: I think so too. Plus he's a host in search of a show.
Jason: Personality wise yes.
Chico: See the NPH rule.
Jason: There's your guy. The timing couldn't be better for him.
Chico: but here's the question: Would he turn Jeopardy! into "The Big Show Part Deux"?
Gordon: Well there's a fine line between Dan Patrick, who I think would work, and his old co-partner Keith Olbermann, who I think wouldn't.
Chico: Yeah, we'll play Fantasy Casting on our next show.
Gordon: Neeless to say, there's people that we think would be a better play.
Chico: One thing is certain... Alex is going to be on J! until 2016. Drew Horwood.... not so much. Who wants a Final?
Jason: I do!
Gordon: Sure!
Chico: Well you're not going to get one yet, because we're going to give you a Daily Double first, this is where the game turned.



Chico: The category: Double N-Demnity. The correct response will have a double N. The clue:

To separate grain from chaff using wind.

Chico: Jason?
Jason: What is Winnowing?
Chico: Gordon? Taking into account that anything you say will be better than what Drew said.
Gordon: What Is Kardashiann Sphinnctering?
Jason: Ew.
Gordon: EIther that, or her mouth, Same effectiveness.
Jason: Ew!
Chico: First of all.. gross. Second of all... still better than what Drew said.
Jason: LOL
Gordon: At least my response had double Ns.
Chico: Drew said... "What is furrowing."
Jason: like of your brow...WRONG.
Chico: You leave my brow out of this.
Gordon: This doesn't have any Ns, but it's suitable.



Chico: He bet it all... and was wrong.
Jason: He goes down to 0 and really wasnt a factor in FINAL
Chico: He recovers to $2400, but with his challengers into the five-digits, he was what we call a non-mothereffing-factor.
Gordon: Nope. So he could have at least had an entertaining answer.
Chico: And he didn't even have that. FINAL JEOPARDY!: Shakespeare. Thy clue reads...

Samuel Johnson said Shakespeare "so carefully informs us" that this play is set on the eve of May Day & yet called it this

Jason: LOCKS IN. Had this.
Chico: I think we all had this. Jason?
Jason: What is A MIDSUMMER NIGHT's DREAM?
Chico: Gordon?
Gordon: What was Chico's Friday Night Wet Dream? (Throws a Maryland Jersey at Chico)
Jason: LOL
Chico: And just so you know, we'll be burning this in effigy at the parking lot at the end of the show. :-) And by the way... Duke sucks.
Gordon: Enjoy the thrill of the win until Miami rides you like a rented mule.
Chico: Anyway. Jason, you're right. Gordon, you're...
Gordon: I KNOW I'm not wrong.
Chico: ANYWAY...Drew is right, but again, non-factor. Rob Groves returns Monday Monday. Drew returns in late 2013 early 2014 I don't think they've scheduled that far in advance.
Jason: Nope.
Chico: And if there's any justice in the world, a Hantz relative will NEVER return to any show.. EVEr.
Chico: Especially after this week on...



Jason: Do NOT get me started, but I am going to.
Chico: Just when you thought you've seen everything.
Jason: Then THAT HAPPENED.
Chico: We have a chain of events that would lead to Hantz in your pants being hemmed. Unanimously, I should add.
Jason: Here's the crazy thing
Chico: Tell us the crazy thing.
Jason: Brandon was involved in getting the FANS FOOD. I mean GOOD FOOD. But Phillip was a monster.
Chico: Philip is totes cray cray, but go on.
Jason: So Phillip and Brandon have it out regarding being voted out. And then Brandon goes all bat guano crazy. He dumps the rice, dumps the beans and says vote me out ***** And they do.
Chico: And this was after they forfeited Immunity BEFORE the challenge was even put forth. That's a first for me.
Jason: Here's my soapbox.
Chico: And now, Jason's Soapbox.
Jason: This is a disturbing trend in reality shows. Did we learn anything from Megan wants a millionaire? Look at Charley Askew. Look at Brandon Hantz. The producers should be ashamed of themselves. They knew he was crazy. They SAY he passed the tests. I don't know.
Chico: They say the camera adds 10 pounds... I think it's all 10 pounds of crazy.
Jason: I mean Brandon could have grabbed the machete and HURT people.
Chico: Now Probst says that he was properly vetted. Do you buy this and how much do you put on "the cameras being there" and "making a show out of it"?
Jason: We are one on camera death away from the end of the reality
competition show genre. I don't buy it for a second.
Chico: Gordon, are we moving closer and closer to a risk of a TV show
becoming a snuff film becoming real here? Because again, this was Brandon going absolutely insane in a
game situation. Imagine what would happen away from it. No doublt this is not the first person to actually let loose on
camera, nor will this be the last.
Gordon: No I don't think so at all. Here's the problem, and we saw this with Willie Hantz in Big Brother. I think it's a simple issue that has nothing to do with inner demons. And no, I don't think he would have gone berserk and killed anyone.
Jason: Really? what?
Chico: And what would that issue be?
Gordon: I think it's really simple. And again, I'll tag this with Willie Hantz in Big Brother.
Chico: Oh great, it's DNA. =p
Gordon: Well it is DNA. When Russell was in control, he was in control. He wasn't in danger of being booted. Even when the tables were against him, he knew he had the safety of the Immunity Idol and found a way to ride it out.
Jason: Right
Chico: Go on.
Gordon: Willie in Big Brother KNEW he was getting the boot, so he wanted to go out his way. In the first edition of Survivor, Brandon was in control all the way. When he got booted, he got blindsided, so he had no idea he'd be out next. Hence, we had Willie gone wild. This time around, he saw the writing on the wall. He knew his team was going to intentionally lose the challenge and he knew he was going out the door.
Chico: So Brandon was going out stabbed in the front this time.
Gordon: Yep.
Jason: So you think this is all an act?
Gordon: I do. Willie knew he was going to get the walk across the bridge, so he wanted to throw as much napalm on the team as he could.
Chico: Like, if I'm going to be voted out, I'm going to leave kicking and screaming. Good life to ya,
Gordon: Exactly. Ironically, if he could have held out one more week, the tribal swap was on the way, and who knows what would have happened.
Jason: Agreed.
Chico: So.... that happened.
Gordon: So to answer Jason, I think the animosity was real, but I think the extra stuff was an act.
Chico: So it was basically game... and a half.
Jason: But you dont think this is a trend...of mentally unstable contestants that get through?
Gordon: I don't think he was mentally unstable. He wanted to make a moment that everyone would talk about. Mission accomplished.
Jason: You and I will respectfully disagree.
Gordon: It's more like Im taking the ball and going home, or the kid when he sees his sandcastle isn't going to win first, wrecks all the other sandcastles.
Jason: OK
Gordon: He may have the menatlity of a child, and if you went that direction, I'll agree with you. But he's not cuckoo for Cocoa Puffs.
Chico: I think he was playing it up a little bit, and I think Brandon is going to cop to admitting to playing it up eventually.
Gordon: Agreed.
Chico: I see where Gordon's coming from, it's like "I know I'm going to be voted out, so let me cause a little damage before they can." And then... well, that happened. But he's not the only crazy person on TV on a Wednesday night... Nicki.



Jason: Yes her.
Chico: In my hand, on my Kindle, is a copy of the show we did last week. I said about Curtis Finch Jr., and now I'm quoting, "Either he's top 4 or he's the first chaos theory voteout." And what happened? After a particularly strong showing... He's the first chaos theory voteout.
Gordon: Well...no, it's not. Remember what we said about Curtis Finch - and what I warned you guys about last week?
Chico: Please remind us?
Gordon: I said 2 things. #1. An R&B singer is leaving first, because you have 5 singers in the same genre, which is too many, and #2. Curtis FInch needs to get out of gospel, because it's too
small a niche and he won't get enough votes. What song did he select?
Jason: Boom and Boom
Chico: He sang "I Believe", by Fantasia Barrino.
Gordon: And what genre is it?
Jason: Pop Gospel.
Gordon: So that's why he left.
Jason: Boom and Boom
Gordon: You were right about last week, Chico. He turned into Mandisa - because he made the same mistake Mandisa made.
Chico: Yeah, but I wasn't expecting it this quickly.
Gordon: And the way that he sang it would make Aretha Franklin come out and punch him in the kidneys.
Chico: Back to the show. Idol starts by naming the top 3 in no particular order. No one will argue that Candice Glover had a moment. Same with Kree Harrison... same with Angie Miller.
Gordon: I Agree with the Top 3. And they deserve to be there.
Chico: Then they list the rest in order until you have a bottom two. This week, it was Devin and Curtis. I can see where Devin gets in the bottom. In fact, I had him as the first one out after the performance show. In fact, that was the weakest we've seen Devin Velez in a while. But the WTF moment of the night? Lazaro. Delivered the worst vocal of the night, picked the wrong song in Kelly's "Breakaway' and sang it about as one-dimensional as Flat Stanley.
Jason: LOL
Chico: Can you blame the increasing number of votes and the decreasing audience? Because remember, you have the Supervotes now if you have the AT&T AI app on your iOS product.
Jason: Oh really?
Chico: Yeah, you can cast 50 votes at once.
Jason: A ha
Chico: So yeah, Power Voting is bad... unless we make the mechanics in which it becomes possible.
Gordon: Well let me ask you this. Can you vote 50 times manually in one night?
Chico: You can vote 50 times manually in one night if you're dedicated enough.
Gordon: But will you ever do it?
Chico: Not for this lot.
Jason: Hell no.
Gordon: So my point is - of course you'll have more votes compensate for less voters.
Jason: BINGO
Chico: Right on. So this is something we'll follow in the weeks to come to see if indeed the hot guy breaks out the guitar in a desperate attempt to sway voters. Spoiler alert: won't work. And in the long run... neither will The Taste. Who's hungry?



Jason: MOOOOOOO
Gordon: Mooooooooyuch
Chico: So we have a battle of the food shows on Tuesday. One ended. The other just began. Khristianne Uy wins The Taste... and that's all we really know because the rest of the show after the first episode was bore snore. Once you take away the whole "Voice" aspect of the show, you pretty much have Top Chef.
Jason: Yeah
Chico: This was a show that was better served in the summer. With summer vegetables sauteed in a light butter sauce.
Jason: Delicious
Chico: That's good eating. Question. Do we see a season 2?
Jason: Dont think so
Chico: I don't either.
Gordon: We could if they are smart and put it in the Summer. This is Summer programming. But in the Winter? Nope.
Jason: According to tvbythenumbers
Chico: I love that site.
Jason: The Taste 1.2 in 18/49 3rd place and 3.45M viewers
Chico: As a reminder, it was going up against Go On/The New Normal on NBC, NCIS Los Angeles on CBS and Hell's Kitchen on Fox, which is always good. Let's talk Hell's Kitchen. You want to see crazy people on TV, Jason Block? Here you are. 20 cooks, one of them gets to be the head chef of Gordon Ramsay Pub & Grill in Las Vegas. And true to form, the food is the star, but the contestants make really funny supporting characters. Let's see... there's the lady with the puppet, the guy who wouldn't quit unless he was threatened to be booted out of the competition, and then there's the whole "Can 10 type-As work together without driving each other crazy?" (cue The Odd Couple theme here)
Jason: LOL
Chico: Ultimately, though, the guy who just kept coming and coming and coming after being thrown out of the kitchen is thrown out of the competition.. Properly, might I add. Say hello, Sebastian. And say good night. Now let's say good night to the shows this week. Jason, it's time for a Replay!
Jason: 5:30 on the clock. Ready? GO!
Chico: Starting with Friday's Fashion Star, which no one is still watching. Tori is voted out in a rout after posting no buyers for an off-shoulder number. In Project Runway, we had to dress the Thunder Down Under. Hey Gordon! Remember Strip Search?
Gordon: 8 hours I won't get back? Yep.
Chico: Remember who lost that show? I think it was anyone who watched.
Jason: Yeah.
Chico: Same thing happened here, as there's NO winner in the challenges and Amanda is voted off the runway. Ladies and gentlemen, 90 minutes you will not get back.
Gordon: And RuPaul's Drag Race was 60 minutes you won't get back, as no one was eliminated.
Chico: That would be a good thing, rihgt?
Gordon: If you were a fan of Roxxy Andrews or Alyssa Edwards, yes.
Chico: Biggest Loser is down to the final... well, I don't know, but two people are weighing in for a quarter-million. One of them will not be Gina, as she was below the red line. Jackson and Joe are going to America's vote, while Danni and Jeff are prepping for their live finale weigh-in.
Gordon: If you're a fan of House on Face off, avert your eyes (he's gone)
Chico: Awww. We have a repeat offender on Millionaire. Chuck Wagner, who was a contestant on Password Plus and (as a cast member of Automan) Tattletales, was on Tuesday's Millionaire. His run on that show was about as short as Automan's.
Gordon: Autogone
Chico: Your big winner before the spring break on Millionare was Mike Solano. He has $58,600 when he sees THIS question.

$100,000: According to the most recent IRS statistics, the wealthiest 1% of US taxpayers have an adjusted gross income of at least what?
a) $199,621
b) $217,836
c) $343,927
d) $526,228

Chico: And no, the answer is not E) too much.
Jason: I will say C.
Gordon: E. My Bedroom. Helloooo, ladies.
Chico: Sorry, Gordon, E is wrong. So Sorry. it IS C. Any interesting Wheel action?
Jason: We had 4 out of 5 bonus round wins this week, and the show is in NYC as we speak
Chico: And you're going.
Jason: On Tuesday.
Chico: So we're going to call that a Replay so you can get ready for that. Stop the clock!
Jason: STOP
Chico: And breathe.
Jason: (breathes)
Chico: Good Replay, gents. Gordon, can we get the hamsters on this or are they still on spring break?
Gordon: They are watching UNC getting pounded by Duke.
Chico: ... Perhaps they're playing NCAA 13 or something, because that ship sailed last night. :-)
Gordon: (Checks DVR). I never said the game was today :)
Chico: HA.
Jason: LOL
Chico: Enough of that madness, though. Time for THIS madness.
Gordon: Roll That Beautiful Brain Footage.

(Doug: Live, local, and latebreaking... From the four corners of the globe to your frontal lobe, this is WLTI Brainvision News, and now here's Gordon Pepper, Chico Alexander, and the award-winning Brainvision News Team)

Chico: Thanks Doug. We'll start with just a TASTE of things to come later in the show. Here's a tiny bat
Jason: It's 1/32 scale. Why so small?
Chico: It's a small item.

Simon Cowell is suggesting the Cheryl Cole may be joining the table for X Factor season 3.

Jason: (yawn)
Gordon: See that ship out there?
Chico: Yep
Gordon: It's sailing away.
Jason: With a big wind.
Chico: Yeah, that has no chance of happening. But as I said... a TINY tease of what's to come later in the show. So you want to stick around for that. Another reason to stiick around.. Kendra Wilkinson in a two-piece. Datebook with the stars me, G.
Gordon: Will do

Monday we get to Dance with the pseudo stars. Tuesday we get to Splash with the pseudo stars. Thursday we get to have an American Bible Challenge, with Jeff Foxworthy, who'll wind up dancing in a matter of time.

Chico: Or cooking. He'll do something. He's building a resume, dang it.
Jason: Agreed.
Gordon: Maybe he's building a vacation itinerary.
Chico: I know I am. I've got destinations all over the place. We're going to start with Japan, with a really interesting idea.
Jason: Do tell

TV Asahi (home of Super Hero Time, baby) is teaming with Warners to launch a pilot for "No Brainer", a trivia game where teams have to put their faith in each other to win big cash prizes.

Jason: I could see that working here.
Chico: Here's the catch: your teammates are tested before the show, and the player who wouldn't know a shine from a Shine-o-Ballo is worth the most money, while the smarty-pants is worth the least. The pilot is being shopped around in the UK and the US.
Jason: Yeah celebrate the stupid LOL
Chico: Worked for 5th Grader.
Gordon: It reminds one of celebrity sweepstakes
Chico: Also true.
Gordon: We can definitely celebrate the stupid around here.
Jason: White board time I think
Chico: White board time it is.

Are YOU Smarter than...Greg Raymer. Fossil Man may see his poker career begins fossilized as he allegedly gets busted in a prostitution sting.

Chico: Yep 'round my neck of the woods, too. Though we're basically looking at a case of entrapment. He's since been released on $1000 bond.
Gordon: It could be. Even so, you still don't put yourself in that sort of a situation.
Jason: No
Chico: You really don't.
Gordon: And for some Haterade, this dude IS busted.



24 Hour Catwalk is too sexy for this show. They can do their turn and walk out of the tv screen.

Chico: Of course, because the zombie models don't have brains, they'll walk right off... and keep on walking. Until someone puts a chainsaw to 'em.
Gordon: Night of the Living Dead fan, are we?
Chico: Why no, I don't watch zombie movies at all!
Jason: Not at all
Chico: Whatever gave you that idea? Anyway, our zombie models are going to need a bit of a bounceback. Maybe this'll help out. Let's get loaded.
Jason: (HIC)
Chico: Ken Jennings has a new app out.
Jason: Really?
Chico: Yep.

It's called "Trivia Death Match with Ken Jennings".

Jason: HA
Chico: Never let it be said that the man has no sense of humor. The app is available on iOS at the App Store for $2.99. Hey, the guy has a kid.
Jason: 2 actually.
Chico: There. The guy has TWO kids. But he's not the only celebrity brain in action this week. (Plays Luda)

In this week's Media Ho Report, Fasion Star is throwing parties, Ken Jennings has a throw down with his iPhone, the American Idol producers throw a fit when Nicki Minaj shows 13 minutes late to a live show...

Jason: Way to endear yourself
Chico: And remember, she's supposed to be the one that makes sense.

Howard Stern declines rumors he's going to replace Jimmy Fallon, Mark Burnett joins the SIng Off for Season 4, Pointsless has an all star Dr. Who Cast...Apollo ono will host GSN 's Minute to WIn it, it's Back to the Drawing Board for Brandi Cochran, who gets a new trial against The Price is Right, and Justin Bieber's Mom wants to be the NEW Bachelorette.

Chico: Way to shoot for the demo, dear.
Gordon: But none of them are the hoes of the week.
Chico: What do you have for me?
Gordon: You have 2 couples going in different directions. Ryan Seacrest and Juliane Hough - done.



Jason: Not a shock if you ask me
Chico: Here's your chance, G.
Gordon: I'm too far away. Sorry. On the other end of the spectrum, Jason and Molly Mesnick get to have a new baby ho - Riley Anne Mesnick.
Jason: Awwwwww
Chico: We love babies.
Jason: Good to see it work
Gordon: That would be a first. And those...are your hoes.
Chico: And that's Brainvision. Jason, you've gotta go to a Wheel party, so shut it off on your way out, please.
Jason: (shutting down)
Chico: ... and tell Alex Davis he owes me $10. :-)
Jason: That's Tuesday LOL
Chico: Okay, still to come, we have six REALLY BIG BATS for a Business End edition of Bargain Hunters. But first.. Gordon.. it's that time of the year. Our FAVORITE time of the year.
Gordon: It is. It's time for some March Madness - and this is a list you want no part of.
Chico: Keep it on WLTI, where you give us 22 minutes, we'll give you 32 of the WORST shows in 2012. And believe you me, it was hard pickings.
Gordon: To find 32? Not that hard.
Chico: Really?
Gordon: You'll see when you click the link.

(BrainVision has been been brought to you by The Next Great Celebrity Advisor. SOmetimes it takes greatness to be a Advisor, like Nene Leakes. Others, like Charles Anderson and Snoop Dogg...need guidance.)

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