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Because fandom is NOT a spectator sport...

Today is

May 29, 2007

Chico:  Today... We have absolutely no idea what's going on...
Gordon: And that makes it different than any other day around here?
Chico: Shush. Anyhoo, Today... We have absolutely no idea what's going on... because that task was left to you the viewer.
Jason:  We trusted you last time...let's do it again.
Don:    Should be fun.
Chico:  What did you do? We'll find out in a moment, because from somewhere in America... the 150th episode of We Love to Interrupt... is... ON!
Gordon: Keep in mind that This is the same audience that also put Sanjaya Malakar in the Top 7 and voted out Melinda Doolittle before the finals. I'm guessing MyGames Fever will be on first, followed by National Bingo Night and then On The Lot.
Jason:  You have no faith. LOL
Chico:  Alongside my cohort in crime Gordon Pepper and esteemed guests Jason Block.. Don Harpwood... And Joe Mello...
Jason:  Hello everyone.
Joe:    I'm here.  BELIEVE IT!
Chico:  Yay, Naruto. I'm Ryan Chic-rest... and I have the results of your vote right here.
Gordon: But before we get to that, we have some news for you. And unfortunately, it isn't good, as Charles Nelson Reilly passed away late last week.
Jason:  Another HUGE loss in the entertainment industry and game show world.
Gordon: That it is, Jay. Reilly, who has been on a number of game shows as a guest panelist, made his claim to fame by being Brett Somers' foil in the 'Match Game' series
Jason:  And basically the man in seat #3.
Gordon: He was in a number of the Match Game series, including Match Game '90.
Jason:  But he was a Tony Winner and huge supporter of the theater as well.
Chico: I havent had GSN for as long as you guys have, and I haven't watched it as long, but it was my access on the internet that I found out about Match Game and Charles Nelson Reilly. I have grown to like him, and it's never a good thing to lose a legend.
Gordon: So before we start with the viewers choice, I am going to ask for something that I think the readers will have asked for anyways - can I have a moment of silence for Charles Nelson Reilly please?


Gordon: Thank you.
Don:    Charles will certainly be missed.
Gordon: Now going on to what you, the audience, wanted to see...
Jason:  Dim the lights...serious music.


Joe:    *heartbeat sounds*
Don:    *Quiet*
Chico:  After the worldwide vote.... the first item on the agenda tonight.... is...

(cue TPIR theme)

Chico:  It's time for PriceWatch.
Jason:  Whoo Hoo!
Don:    Yay!
Gordon: Wheee!
Joe:    Some sort of positive exclamation!
Gordon: Bob Barker exit stage left. Entering stage right is....I don't know who it is...yet...but we're starting to find out more on who it isn't.
Chico:  Really hard to get a positive exclamation out after Friday's show. But more on that later. Gordon, who WON'T be getting Bob's job?
Gordon: Rosie O'Donnell will NOT be getting the job, to the surprise one.
Chico:  Don't take it the wrong way, Rosie, but... praise be.
Joe:    Seconded
Jason:  And yeah, praise be.
Don:    I couldn't really picture her hosting it in the first place.
Chico:  Don't get me wrong. No one is questioning her loyalty to the show, but I have a bad feeling that had she gotten the nod, she would've forgotten the cardinal rule.
Jason:  Don't change the show to fit you.
Chico:  ... and the other cardinal rule. The contestants are the stars.
Joe:    Which is why we're making a big stink about the host leaving.
Gordon: Once upon a time, Rosie used to actually be funny and a good comedienne, until she decided to be a political demagogue and tried to cram her opinions down everyone's throat. Then, the knight of Hasselbeck liberated Rosie from our television screens, giving our cable box a happily ever after. And the crowd gave some light applause. Yes, I saw Shrek 3. Does it show?
Chico:  Oh, you were always an ogre :-) Now you just have the lingo down.
Gordon: Thanks much.
Joe:    Rosie would have fractured the audience, something you DO NOT want to do when you're trying to save your franchise
Chico:  But yeah, Rosie would've been the perfect host... in 2001.
Jason:  Now...not so much.
Chico:  No.
Jason:  But we still don't have an announcement yet. Do you think we will before Emmy time?
Gordon: I don't think so.
Chico:  Probably not. Day of... MAYBE.
Joe:    Needs to come soon, though
Chico:  Speaking of that day, leading into the Emmys will be the final Barker show from that morning. If it was anything like Friday's show... we may not want to see it again. Two words... Double Overbid.
Don:    That was painful.
Jason:  Yup.
Chico:  Oh yeah, especially given that the player was over by so little.
Gordon: Ouch
Joe:    Least it wasn't $1 over.
Chico:  The difference... $95.
Joe:    Yeah, that does suck.  However, that does not mean the rest of the show was awful
Chico:  No, not really. One person hit the Bullseye using one shot. One person didn't max out their Credit Card. Credit Card was played last for the first time I can remember.  Of course, I'm a nerd. That was expertly played, I think. Oh, and Hans didn't die on Cliffhangers, which is good.
Jason:  So what's next on the voting parade?
Chico:  Dim the lights, please.
Jason:  Serious music again...thanks to Rickey Minor and the band.
Chico:  The second item of our agenda....

... Jordin Sparks crowned American Idol. (familiar AI guitar stings)

Chico:  Much to the surprise of... no one, Blake Lewis was outvoted, as Jordin became a) the youngest winner of the contest, and b) the only winner not from the South.
Jason:  Blake didn't come to play, Jordin did. End of story.
Chico:  That... pretty much sums it.
Don:    Yep.
Jason:  And the so.
Chico:  According to the panel, it was decided on the coronation single.
Gordon: I think Jordin locked it up well before then, but the song certainly didn't hurt Jordin.
Chico:  According to OUR panel, Jordin swept it.
Gordon: I think Jordin outsang Blake on all 3 songs. Said coronation song, 'This is  My Now', didn't help Blake at all. Blake even admitted that he would never sing that sort of song
Chico:  Yeah, about that song... How did such a milquetoast cliché-ridden ditty win the public vote?
Jason:  That is the perfect American Idol single, bland poppy and cliché ridden. Blake looked like a scared rabbit out there.
Gordon: And an afterthought. Granted, the song is selected well before the final 2 are selected, which makes me wonder if the producers were thinking ahead that it could be a Melinda vs. Jordin final.
Joe:    Stacking the deck to one particular outcome seems kind of pointless, considering it would be out of their hands   I blame the public for submitting the songs.
Chico:  I'm sure there were one or two really good ones. Law of averages and all that. So we can blame the producers for this one. Seems like anything that is wrong with American Idol we can blame on the producers.
Gordon: Oh, I think we can blame the producers for a lot of things this season.
Chico:  Yep. So I propose this...Big board time.

How to Fix American Idol

- Rewatch season 1
- Focus on talent
- Get someone qualified
- Talent > image
- Don't pigeonhole
- Be risky!


Chico: Title: How to Fix American Idol. a) Rewatch season 1.
Jason:  b) Don't focus on the idiots. Focus on the talent.
Chico:  c) Get someone qualified to choose songs in the round of 3...or what we call "The Wheel of Death Round!" Because, as you all remember, the producers chose one of the songs for that round... and their songs were about as safe as safe can get.
Jason:  I think they should do the dancing with the stars type voting...limit the amount of votes to the number of people in it. 12 for the round of 12 etc. That would take VFTW out of the picture completely.
Gordon: Jay, I couldn't disagree with you more
Jason:  Tell me why
Gordon: First of all, VFTW doesn't have that sort of influence on the voting. Their 'choice' only got up to #7. Second of all - and more importantly - the show is American Idol, not 'American unless we the judges know better Idol'
Jason:  I am not saying the judges have a say at all.
Gordon: By not putting it 100% in the audiences hand, it just turns into Rock Star, the Pop Version
Jason:  I am saying the voting should change. Because we dont have a Dancing with the Stars vote fraud issue, now do we?
Gordon: Of course not. We have a judges decide who wins based on the voting fraud issue instead.
Chico: Heh.
Gordon: Why should the voting change? What should change it the Producers selecting the singers based on TALENT and not LOOK
Chico:  I'm going to have to side... actually I can see the merits of both sides here. One hand, you have American Idol... America chooses the winner. On the other hand, you're looking for the very best.
Gordon: The best Idol ever, Idol 2, featured a fat kid Vs. a geeky kid. d) The talent > the image. We haven't recaptured the magic of that because the producers are trying to sell image to the American people. Americans don't want image. They want the best, regardless of what the best looks like.
Chico:  And all the problems with finding the very best can be solved if you focus less on the "look" and more on the "Sound"
Don:    Judge with the ears, not the eyes.
Chico:  Precisely. When was the last time we heard "You don't look like the American Idol, but you sound like it."
Joe:    I think the problem is that the producers want to find a new Pop Star, but the audience has rarely chosen pop.
Gordon: Another good point.
Jason:  But I think they have to remember that Carrie Underwood, the most successful Idol winner is COUNTRY. They went away from that big time this year.
Joe:    Because they want a Pop Star
Jason:  They have to go back to it.
Gordon: I agree with Joe. Pop sells the most amount of money and the producers pretty much pigeonholed the contestants in pop this year. America called them on it, and now we need to see what the producers do next season to rectify it.
Chico:  That's an add-on. e) Don't pigeonhole.
Joe:    I think it actually says something about the state of Pop Music that only Kelly Clarkson seems to be the Pop Idol
Gordon: F. The whole idea of Idol is the showcase your talent, not play it safe because you are trying to show the media that the singers aren't as bad as the media is claiming. The only way the artists will sound good is if you take risks and not box them in with safe songs.
Joe:    So in other words, you play to win the game. What a novel concept.
Jason:  But again, song choice was key. Most of the people chose horribly.
Chico:  Most of the people thought that they could sing anything and get away with it... They left in the early rounds.
Joe:    The singers need to know themselves.  If they can't, how can you expect America to?
Gordon: Can I have a Big Board, Part 2 please?
Chico:  Got it.

How American Idols Can Fix Themselves

- Safe = Out
- Haley's Law
- Go from Strength to Strength
- Don't Take the Easy Way Out
- Song Selection!
- Tell the Story
- Don't Argue with Judges!
- Don't Expect a Parade
- Clean Out Your Closet


Gordon: Subject this year - Tips for AI7 Singers
Chico:  We love giving out help.
Gordon: 1. Safe is only good in baseball. If you sing safe, you will be out
Chico:  2. We call this Haley's Law... Wearing revealing clothing will not make you sound better.
Gordon: 3. Sing to your strengths. If your a high vocal pitch singer, go for the money notes. if youre low, do something that emphasizes ytour range
Jason:  4. If there is a Bobby Vinton night(for example), sing a Bobby Vinton song. Don't take the easy way out just because it matches your genre.
Gordon: That's what killed Melinda and Lakisha. On that same vein, 5. Song selection, song selection, song selection. Aim for young songs that the voters know but haven't heard 13,000 times.
Chico:  6. Don't just sing the song... Tell the story.
Gordon: Adding to what Chico says, it's all about emotionally carrying the song and conveying it. That's a major reason why Jordin won this year.
Jason:  7. Never argue with the judges.
Joe:    8: If you're expecting a parade out of all this, forget it.
Chico:  Heh...
Joe:    You're here to sing, not be famous.....
Chico:  If you want to be a celebrity... go to rehab. If you want to make music... audition for Idol.
Joe:    Singer>Celebrity
Gordon: 9. Make sure if there's any sort of thing that will get you in trouble (nude calendars, pot smoking family, etc.) make sure that all of the copies have been burned and all of the skeletons hidden firmly in the closet.
Joe:    Or 9a) Don't get into trouble in the first place
Chico:  Call this Antonella's rule. Because if you're on the biggest show on the planet as a contestant... EVERYONE's going to come after you. Cruel, yes, but that's the world we live in.
Joe:    So grow thick skin.....but don't show it off. ;)
Chico:  That... comes later :-) So there you go, America. 6 steps to restore Idol's lustre on one end, and 10 to make sure it stays that way.
Joe:    Take, digest, and come back in the fall to prove us right :)
Chico:  Now... it's time to dim the light again. The third item on the agenda tonight...

(cue DOND theme)

Chico:  What happens when a real life hero ends up on the Deal or No Deal stage? Ask Wesley Autrey.
Jason:  Wesley Autrey is a true hero.
Don:    Indeed.
Jason:  For those outside the NYC area, he saved a man by jumping on the subway tracks and rolling him out of the way.
Gordon: I'd like to ask him something...
Joe:    G, if it's "what were you thinking", I'm right there with you.
Gordon: Wesley, WHAT WERE YOU THINKING??!!?!?
Joe:    Knew it.
Gordon: How could someone who had a very quick thinking brain when he saved a man by jumping under a subway train all of the sudden have that same brain throw away over $305,000?
Jason:  $305,000? Yow.
Joe:    [jdhernandez]G-R-E-E-D[/jdhernandez]
Chico:  Hmm... I'd have to see the board first.

The Hero's Board...



$ 5 $ 10,000
$ 25 $ 50,000
$ 750

$ 1,000,000

Gordon: Once the million dollar case showed up, I was expecting Sylar to come over and munch on his head.
Chico:  Of course. Anyway... That board... you risk $304,975... to play for more than double that. Game theory notwithstanding, Wesley had a bad beat. A REALLY bad beat.
Gordon: You may go for it, maybe, but I don't.
Don:    I thought he had a lot of guts to take his chances with that board.
Joe:    But $300,000!
Jason:  I would have been out of there.
Chico:  Me, I'd probably chicken out.
Don:    I'd have stopped sooner, to be honest.  The round before, at the latest.
Gordon: $300,000. No safetynet whatsoever. I'm gone with the money. first of all, it's not more than double that, since the next offer, which probably would have been $500,000, would have only been a 40% upgrade.
Chico:  Because $1 million is really nice... but a bird in the hand. In this case, it really IS worth two in the case.
Gordon: The bird in the hand wound up flying away and left a nasty poo poo on Wesley's head as it flew bye.
Joe:    He was one-casing from about the round of 4 to open on One thing of merit for him, though.  While he may not have been the smartest contestant, consensus seems to be that he was the best person to be a contestant.
Jason:  Yes, not outrageous...pure Americana.
Joe:    He wasn't from the De Mol Book of Loud Stereotypes
Chico:  The one they cast Big Brother from?
Gordon: True - and he did get a car for his efforts
Jason:  A jeep.
Chico:  A nice jeep. The second Jeep Wesley was awarded. The first was at Ellen Degeneres's show.
Joe:    Jeep Patriots are pretty nice
Chico:  So he's got two Jeep Patriots and $25 to fill... one of them up... halfway.... maybe.
Joe:    Albeit a little on the cheap side, (Sport starts at 15K, Limited at 20k). Still, it's better than taking the bus - or the subway.
Gordon: And I don't think he wants to see a subway for a while.
Chico:  I'm with the panel on that.
Jason:  No way.
Joe:    He needs the Cash Cab, but that's another topic
Chico:  So we're sorry you didn't win, Wesley, but you are a true American hero, and no one can take that away from you.
Jason:  No way. Thank you for doing what you did.
Gordon: Yes - and a very well deserved round of applause (applause)
Chico:  (applause)
Don:    *Applause*
Joe:    *applause*
Jason:  (applause)
Chico:  With that, let's dim the lights again.


Chico:  Number four on our agenda is...

(cue Cash Cab theme)

Jason:  Really? wow.
Joe:    That was sublime
Gordon: I accuse Chico of Power Voting!
Chico:  I defend that I was away for the weekend with zero web access and couldn't have skewed the outcome even if I wanted to.
Jason:  Ok.
Chico:  Y'all know me better than that.
Gordon: Yes. I bet you had all of your Tar Heel friends vote.
Chico:  ... All my Tar Heel friends could care less, truth be told.
Gordon: I'll have to get my friends from Duke to vote, next time.
Joe:    Or maybe people wanted to talk about arguably the best new game show in the last 3 years
Chico:  ... or that. Heh.
Gordon: Whatever.
Don:    I still haven't been able to find the show up here.  I really want to see it!
Chico:  Well, the thing that came out this week... apparently Discovery thinks the show's ready for primetime.
Gordon: That I agree with. The show should be on in Primetime
Jason:  What happened?
Chico:  New shows will start airing Wednesdays at 10p.
Joe:    It'll get a great lead-in
Jason:  Which is?
Chico:  Lead in... Mythbusters.
Don:    Nice.
Joe:    I think Cash Cab's stock is going nowhere but up
Chico:  Not to deviate from topic, but seldom times a show isn't as good as its lead in. Example: On the Lot, which dropped like an anvil the second Idol ended.
Jason:  A/k/a Project No Light.
Joe:    Well, aside from the fact that nothing is better ratings-wise than Idol
Gordon:   True. I also wonder if this could be the beginning of another game show in primetime - Temptation
Chico:  Could be... I'd like to see it happen myself... if only it's done right... But back to the topic at hand... I do think the Cab has a lot going for it, and it's a shot deserved.
Jason:  I hope.
Joe:    It proves you don't need loud people and lots of 0's on the top prize to have a good show
Jason:  Cash cab is a great concept.
Chico:  Just need a good game.
Joe:    And fancy lights
Gordon: And a formula from Millionaire
Chico:  Oh those British, always stealing from each other =p. The Eurovision song contest begat Pop Stars... which begat Pop Idol... which begat... everything else... We could spend and entire act on that, but we're not going to. Dim the lights, please.


Chico:  Our fifth item on the agenda is...

(cue Playmania synth hits)

Chico:  Playmania has a new host... actually it has an old new host if you're in the fan-nation here... You know what I mean, "old new" host?
Jason:  who is?
Chico:  Survey says.... Jeff Thisted.
Jason:  Oh yes.
Chico:  Either last week's TPIR deal was a guest shot that parlayed into a regular gig... or he had the gig to start with.
Jason:  Maybe a bit of both
Chico:  Either way, he's in the hosts' encyclopedia now.
Gordon: Just out of curiosity, did Jeff go to the Cyberman School of Playmania hosting?
Chico:  That's a preclusion of a scary observation if ever I heard one.
Jason:  LOL
Chico:  First we were plagued with overzealous play TV presenters... now we're plagued with underzealous play TV presenters.
Don:    Can't we get a nice medium when it comes to this?
Joe:    No
Gordon: Seriously, though. The day that we saw Jeff, it seemed like he had some personality. Then we see him in 100 Winners, and it's like we have a host/drone.
Joe:    Perhaps it's the format.
Chico:  Well, there's a bright side to this... Now Dylan's no longer the running gag 'round these parts. But in all seriousness, I give him another few weeks to warm to the live game format. You know, it took us a while to get used to anyone who dared such a task.
Gordon: I give him another few weeks until GSN bribes Mel Peachy with enough money to come back.
Joe:    At least Jeff can go home to his hot wife
Chico:  Shandi's still the best at it.
Jason:  Shandi is "CRAZY" but fun.
Chico:  Jessica.... Angelle.... Kourtney with a K... Mel was nice, wasn't she?
Gordon: At least Shandi has a ppersonality
Chico:  Yeah... Too bad America didn't notice that, oh... back in February? Speaking of which... dim the lights again.


Chico: The final bit in the opening round is...

(cue Dancing theme)

Chico:  Dancing with the Stars has a champion team... and for once, it doesn't have Cheryl Burke on it.
Joe:    America must love their athletes.
Chico:  Winners: an Olympic speedskater and one of the dancers from Show Me the Money.
Gordon: It does help to have the best celebrity in it
Jason:  We had Ohno for the most part early on.
Chico:  Actually, I think Joey was the best celebrity... but the best dancer of the remaining... Apolo Anton Ohno. Him and Julianne Hough... they had this... this sympatico...
Gordon: I don't know if Joey was better, but Apollo definitely had the best chemistry - so mch so that people were wondering if they had a relationship going on.
Chico:  Answer... No.
Gordon: Now THAT'S chemistry
Jason:  That is chemistry
Joe:    The judges had chemistry problems, though
Chico:  It might've been Len being stuffy while Bruno was making all sorts of inappropriate similes. Or perhaps it was jet-lag. You know the two were flying from LA to London during the season to judge both DWTS and its mother show Strictly Come Dancing.
Jason:  Yipe.
Don:    Wow.
Gordon: Or maybe they were taking lessons in Man-Love from Ryan Seacrest and Simon Cowell
Joe:    Whatever it was, Tom was getting the hose on standby
Chico:  (actually saw some clips from that in the finale of DWTS... three words. Bruce Motherf'ing Forsyth.) Seriously, they're good friends. People who argue like that on a regular basis can't not be good friends.
Gordon: True. The hamsters get along very well, too
Jason:  Lets do it.
Chico:  Choppler firing.
Jason:  Animals in gear!
Chico:  Infracels up, megathrusters are go.
Gordon: Roll That Beautiful Brain Footage

Doug: Live, local, and latebreaking... From the four corners of the globe to your frontal lobe, this is WLTI Brainvision News, and now here's Gordon Pepper, Chico Alexander, and the award-winning Brainvision News Team)

Chico:  Actually, I was thinking that you were going to say Let's Go Brainvision Force! =p
Joe:    I'm glad I wasn't the only one thinking that
Chico:  Heh.
Gordon: Uh....nnnnnnnnnno.
Chico:  Oh well.
Gordon: First article, Commander Chairman!
Chico:  Forming first article.

GSN has acquired all 12 episodes of Show Me the Money from ABC, including two episodes that never made it to air.

Joe:    I'd like to go and cry now
Jason:  Oh boy.
Chico:  Oh boy indeed.
Gordon: At least we'll find out what happened to that other contestant who was in the middle of playing before the show ended.
Chico:  Yeah, but we won't know until, oh two months.  The sad thing is... William Shatner... still hosting.
Gordon: Uh...the tapes are in the can. Unless they really did something
magical, you're going to be stuck with Shatner
Chico:  I don't know. This day and age, anything can be digitally altered.
Gordon: And no, Elvis is not the new host of Show Me The Money
Don:    lol
Chico:  A guy can dream, though.
Jason:  Yup.
Chico:  Next?
Gordon: Did I hear that you want more Price is Right news?
Jason:  We do!
Don:    Yep!
Chico:  Yep.
Joe:    No, but tell us anyway :P

CBS saw the ratings of the TPIR Prime Time Specials - and they are't morons. As a result, CBS, will be showing the last episode on BOTH daytime AND Primetime TV. Catch it on June 15

Gordon: You get that feeling that we may see some BIG prizes on that show?
Don:    It wouldn't surprise me.
Jason:  Honestly no. I think we are going to have a normal show.
Joe:    Not MDS big, but I wouldn't be surprised it a 'Vette shows up
Chico:  Sending Bob out with a bang... Wouldn't put it past them.
Joe:    I put the budget at around Mid-XMas Week.
Chico: Maybe a Viper?
Joe:    Maybe
Chico:  Maybe some Plinko?
Jason:  Maybe
Gordon: And then after the show, maybe they all get fully loaded?
Jason:  Hic
Chico:  Maybe.
Joe:    Plus cake
Chico:  You're gonna need a cake that feeds 100 for this one.
Don:    Sounds like a big cake.
Jason:  Huge cake

If you have a cell phone... then you can take on the Mob on the go. Gameloft has announced that they are preparing a release of "1 vs. 100" for all major carriers.

Jason:  Woo!
Chico:  ... which, if you think about it... is a lot better than what they
came up with for the interactive game during the return of said show.
Jason:  No kidding
Don:    Definitely.
Chico:  I mean, pick the mobster with the money, it's a thinly veiled copy of
the Lucky Case game.
Gordon: It's...MOB MONEY!
Chico:  Incredibly thinly
Jason:  Thinly? How about a down right steal. Thats theft.
Gordon: And to make the budget even worse, instead of the usual $10,000, It's
only worth $5,000.
Chico:  Summer reruns... Gotta love'em
Jason:  NOT...
Chico:  On the other hand, we gotta serve up SOME Haterade this week, right?
Joe:    Plus cake :)
Jason:  You really want our cake don't you?
Joe:    I like cake, what can I say?
Gordon: Well, since this is Sweeps, and all, we have Network Haterade!
Chico:  Whoopee.
Gordon: And I'll throw in some cake.
Joe:    Whoopee!

2 Glasses this week. The first one goes to FOX, who extends their Idol finale by 9 minutes...which pisses off everyone who is taping or TIVOing the show.

Jason:  Dumb. Dumb. Dumb.
Chico:  Thank you Clive Davis for pinpointing EVERY bit of progress the show made.
Don:    So much filler...
Joe:    Although those who record should know by now that this stuff runs over
Gordon: Yes, but with all of that filler, would it have hurt them to knock out one taped performance?
Jason:  And could you have HAD Paul McCarttney.
Chico:  Lest we note that the Idol finale, even with the 9 minutes tacked on... was still not that great?

The second glass goes to ABC. Not only does National Bingo night continue to suck along at a 3.6 rating, but I printed out 27 cards over 9 pages and NOT ONE OF THEM WAS A BINGO! NONE! ZERO! NADA! I couldn't even BUY a cake for Joe.

Joe: :(
Chico:  Someone owes you a color print cartridge.
Joe:    Grayscale for the win
Chico:  ... Oh yeah, they print the names of the cards, don't they... I'm so retarded...
Joe:    :D
Gordon: I did print in black and white. Fat lot of good that did me.
Joe:    The randomizer just didn't like you
Chico:  Someone at Disney/ABC still owes you a print cartridge, though =p What you need... is a vacation.
Jason:  LOL
Gordon: Take me away
Jason:  Let's go Global.
Chico:  Let's. We're taking two stops this week.

Amitabh Bachchan, the former host of the Indian version of Millionaire, wants to squash all comparisons to his successor, Shah Rukh Khan. Meanwhile, we head to the UK, where Noel Edmonds is tapped to host another primetime quizzer... this time, it's "Are You Smarter Than a 10-Year-Old". Which, as you know, is their answer to "Are You Smarter Than a 5th Grader."

Jason:  Yup.
Chico:  Now, he's kind of stoic when he's hosting Deal or No Deal... I wonder how he'll be hosting this.
Joe:    He'll be the same, but with 40% more hyperbole :P
Gordon: Does that mean we get 5 more little kiddie media hoes?
Jason:  Hopefully no kid actors there.
Don:    Yeah.
Chico:  Depends. Will one of those hoes be a human art project named Bill? (Plays "Pimpin' All Over the World")
Jason:  I am sorry...that was funny. Sanjaya--cool.
Gordon: In this week's Sanjaya Scope...I mean Media Ho Report...

Layla Kayleigh (Attack of the Show) will be the new World Poker Tour babe, Kelie Pickler's father gets arrested - again, Simon Cowell gets ambushed for This Is Your Life...5th Graders and their media hoes can show up in Lexinngton, KY on June 2nd for 5th Grader Auditions, while Kellie Pickler is dating NHL Player Jordin Tootoo...Blake Lewis now comes out and says that he didn't REALLY want to win American Idol. Well, you sang like you didn't want to win it in the finals.

Joe:    What did we just say?  Play to win the game?!
Chico:  If I can interrupt...Sour grapes, much?
Gordon: Hey Blake, have you met James Sun?
Don:    Yipes.
Gordon: But none of them are the Ho of the week
Jason:  Who is the Ho of the week?
Gordon: Since we HAVE to have some sort of Bachelor moment for Chico...
Chico:  No we don't.
Gordon: Yes we do. The HO of the week is...Jesse Palmer.
Jason:  It is a special episode after all.
Chico: Great. Whoopee.
Gordon: Before, he didn't find a bride. Now, he doesn't have a football career. Palmer retired after starting team in particular.
Joe:    Did he even play a down?  7 games (all for the Giants) 63-120, 562 yards, 3 TD, 4 INT, 20 rushing yards. 1 game in '02, 6 in '03.
Don:    Only 7 games in his career?  Yipes...
Gordon: He has appeared in more episodes of The Bachelor than played in games in the NFL. THAT'S Sad.
Joe:    Well, he was a backup, and 53% completion kinda shows it.
Gordon: And the time has run out on this week's BrainVision. Shut it down.

(shutting down)

Gordon: We will continue our 150th Episode Celebration with 2 old standing games, but first, we play one of our newer games with you, the fans. This week's You Love To Interrupt Question...

We asked you what show you wanted to see the most. Now we want to know the opposite. Which show will be the biggest disaster of the Summer?

[FrontPage Save Results Component]

You get to control what we talk about next week? So what do we talk about?

America's Got Talent
American Inventor
Big Brother 8
Hell's Kitchen
Last Comic Standing
On the Lot
Pirate Master

Something else

Gordon: Results next time. We'll be back with our faves.
Chico: This is WLTI, the show that's given you 150 episodes of organized chaos.
Jason:  Sounds about right.
Joe:    I'll buy it
Don:    Sounds good to me.

(Brainvision has been brought to you by What's My Cable Line. Join Chico Alexander as he determines what exactly he is paying his cable company for... because I'm sure that he wants DISH TV right about now.)



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