April 9, 2007

Gordon: This is Gordon Pepper, and I have a very important announcement to make.
Jason: Yes...
Chico: *listens attentively*
Gordon: Fluffy the hamster has officially won the NCAA Pool. Congratulations!
Jason: Very nice.
Chico: *throws confetti*
Jason: What does she win?
Gordon: She has a velvet plush covering for her water supply and a new hamster wheel.
Jason: Sounds good to me.
Chico: This'll sound better. From Somewhere in America... WLTI ... is on!
Jason: WOO HOO!
Chico: Alongside, Gordon... and Jason... and Ryan.. I'm your pal Chico... and I got three words... Star Wars Tango.
Jason: Star Wars Tango?
Chico: As in doing the tango.. to the Star Wars theme. Probably the best thing to happen to Dancing so far.
Jason: Who did that?
Chico: Joey Fatone.
Gordon: It was more like the masochism tango - as in the viewers were the masochists.
Jason: Thank you Gordon Lehrer. But too bad for Shandi Finnessey as she goes back to GSN, Lingo Balls in tow.
Chico: Playmaniacs.. you disappoint me. I mean, she was good.. sure her partner was a bit annoying... okay, REALLY annoying...
Jason: But the fan base is small...sorry. :-(
Gordon: Sorry. It was to be expected. Shandi does not have a fan base and it shows.
Chico: That much was obvious.
Gordon: I thought what was more surprising was that Leeza was there with her - and she was tied for first.
Jason: Which means she will be gone this week.
Chico: My guess is that this season is more than just dancing.
Gordon: Its what it always has been - its a dancing competition, but the least popular go home first.  Its just like American Idol in that sense, if you don't have a fan base, or if you don't wow the crowd with your artistic ability, it's over.
Ryan: So can we clarify the scoring system for casual watchers?
Chico: Half of the score is based on what the judges think. The other half, on viewer votes.
Ryan: Thank you :-)
Chico: So you're saying that Shandi didn't wow.
Jason: She wowed the judges and not the fans.
Chico: Basically.
Gordon: There's only so many to woo. Doing the real wooing was Apollo, Joey (ick) and Laila.
Jason: People who we thought would be in the final 4
Chico: Can we add Heather to that list? She's wowing for all the wrong reasons, I think.
Jason: a la Sanjaya, but not as bad.
Gordon: Exactly. This is a competition. We can add Heather. Someone has to go. Good is not good enough when being compared against excellent.
Chico: Or popular.
Jason: More popular than excellent if you ask me.
Chico: Question now, does Leeza have the chops to overcome that next week?
Jason: Nope.
Gordon: No
Chico: Shame, really, but oh well. Those are rules. Not the hard-paper rules, mind you, but the rules of the metagame at work.
Jason: Exactly.
Chico: So yeah... Sorry, Shandi, but you should've seen it coming.
Gordon: We've seen those odds beaten before. But you can't possibly tell me with a straight face that Shandi or Leeza was as good as Laila or Stacy Keibler
Jason: Legs of Steel...Stacy oh my.
Chico: yow.
Gordon: Exactly, and to Phrase Simon Cowell, and I'll use this for both arguments - I can't praise you when you've just been beaten soundly by the people before you.
Jason: Bingo.
Chico: Point taken. So Leeza is next to go... Barring a miracle.
Gordon: Pretty much - and Gina, although very good, was mediocre on Tuesday, and we all know what happens on Idol if you're mediocre.
Chico: Again, no hope.
Gordon: Nope. How bad was it? It was so bad that Phil and Haley both surpassed her. I don't think it's because they got more votes. I think it's because Gina got less.
Jason: And to all the Sanjaya conspiracists...get a life. I told you it's about the singing, somewhat. And Sanjaya will be around for at least 2 more weeks. I think Country week with Martina McBride .
Chico: To be fair, it was pretty much all good to mediocre (with one or two exceptions).
Jason: Could be the make or break for a lot of people.
Chico: Because Gina's people don't watch.. or vote.
Jason: There is a partial segment who is doing it to screw with the voting process. Not much, though.
Chico: Next week, though, is going to be telling. It's Latin pop week.
Jason: J-LO week?
Chico: If I can quote my sister...  "They're going to destroy it!"
Jason: Yes, yes they are.
Ryan: So we'll have the Miami Sound Machine then?
Jason: Shakira, Gloria Estefan, Selena, et al.
Chico: Miami Sound Machine... some Jennifer Lopez... a little Marc Anthony... if anyone wants to be bold, there's RBD.  =p
Gordon: I think that the R&B people - Lakisha, Melinda and Jordin, will do just fine. Haley, her being muy caliente, should also do well.
Jason: Her hips wont lie, eh?
Gordon: No they most certainly won't
Chico: Something I told G earlier this week...  If they all equally destroy it, though... chaos will begin to set in. It's a big if, though.
Gordon: For Chris and Blake, its all going to be about song selection. And for Phil and Sanjaya....ew.
Jason: Is this the week that Sanjaya leaves?
Chico: It's gonna depend on a lot of things. a) I think we're beginning to see the end of the Sanjaya wave. Almost like a joke that's not funny anymore.
Jason: Interesting Analogy.
Chico: b) Song choice. Latin pop is one of those "Okay, you can do this, now let's see if you can do... THIS!!" weeks.
Jason: agreed,
Chico: c) back to what Q said earlier... "They're going to destroy it!"
Gordon: Exactly. This can either be real good, or get really ugly. If it gets ugly, then we could see some chaos - but I don't think this week
Jason: The next week, with Country is where Chaos explodes, I think.
Gordon: I agree with Jason. Country + Round of 7 (where bad things traditionally start to happen) + no Country singers = Problems.
Chico: This week will be an interesting one to watch.. if only because last week was so boring. From the search for the next songster to the search for the next great game show host... which heated up this week... Who's got enough game to replace Bob Barker? For the first time, CBS is beginning to name names. Big Board time!

Chico: The title: Down to Six?
Jason: Ok.
Chico: So far, sources have named three top contenders. Those being Mark Steines (of ET), George Hamilton (of Match Game and The Family), and Mario Lopez. They've also named John O'Hurley, Todd Newton, and Mike Richards. I'm guessing Dave Price.. no longer being considered. *Whew!* Because from what I hear, he wasn't just not good... he was bad.
Jason: Oh yeah.
Chico: So yeah, those are your six. Thoughts?
Jason: My thoughts are of those six, I would love to See Todd Newton get it. He is as close to getting the big ball and deserving it as anyone. But...WHERE THE HELL IS RICH FIELDS? Why is he not being considered?
Chico: I couldn't even begin to tell you.
Gordon: You do have some good talent in there, but there's no one in the mix that knocks my socks off. The people who I would want to see host it - Frank Nicotero, Fields, etc - aren't on the list.
Jason: Chico what do you think?
Chico: I'm not even going to pretend I have all the answers, especially as to why Rich Fields wouldn't be considered (could finding a new announcer be harder than finding a new host, perhaps?)...
Jason: Is it because they think the show skews older and they want to go older?
Chico: Again, I don't know for sure. I know a lot of college kids watch and are loyal friends and true (although some of their skills leave much to be desired)...  But I do know that the one that's getting the most press, thanks to TMZ.com... George Hamilton. Classy? Yes... But Price-worthy? I still don't know. Probably... not.
Jason: I think that's a red herring honestly. George Hamilton would kill the show within weeks.
Ryan: Who on the list has done the casino show?
Chico: Todd Newton. For all we know, this whole announcement could be a charade as well. CBS is keeping mum like no one's business. Almost like giving us popcorn with no butter.
Jason: The George Hamilton announcement came out the Friday before April fool's day...who knows. Gordon's theory.
Gordon: I can't see Hamilton hosting the show. He's been a show killer. I'm sorry. There isn't anyone on the list that even remotely thinks that TPIR is going to last 5 seasons with them at the helm.
Jason: Even Newton?
Gordon: I like Todd. I really do. I don't think he's the right host for this sort of show.
Chico: He's got the most experience with the format. That's for sure.
Gordon: I think he could grow into the role, and of the 6, I think he's the best choice. He is one of those people that 1 or 2 years later, if you asked me, I'd say he was actually the right choice. But none of these people pop off the page at me right now.
Chico: We'll looks like we'll find out soon enough. Expect an official word no later than June (CBS' words).
Jason: I think of the 6 he is the man now.
Chico: Meanwhile, the man who's hosting TPIR right now has one more MDS in May, followed by a retrospective special.
Jason: I hope he gives away the $1,000,000. I really do.
Chico: It'll be the icing on the cake. Meanwhile, we're still finding it hard to give away $100,000 on another Wheel...
Gordon: Oh THAT was painful.
Jason: Ugh. Poor Leigh Anne Wright. For the want of a vowel.
Chico: Here's what happened... The puzzle, a phrase.
Jason: (makes Wheel reveal sound effect)
Chico: With the normal six and CDMI, all we get are....

N _ _ _ D _
_ N _ _ S

Jason: I recuse because I saw this.
Chico: Okay, Gordon? Think Tony Rich...
Ryan: I also found the answer :-)
Jason: "NOBODY KNOWS" the trouble I've seen....
Chico: See this, another $100,000 envelope. Nothing more can be said except... Yipes.
Jason: Yipes.
Gordon: I saw the show as well. The sad thing is that I knew it without the bonus letters. That was a simple one
Ryan: It's only simple if you know it, Gordon ;-)
Chico: I could've used a few Os.
Gordon: How true. And how many knew it? Nobody knows ;0)
Chico: "Puzzle's hard, and day was so sad... a hundred thousand that I never had... and I'm kicking myself... and NOBODY KNOWS it but me."
Jason: Bingo.
Gordon: But how many of you knew that The World Poker Tour is coming to GSN?
Jason: I did! WHOO-HOO
Chico: I did. It's my job to know these things. Story here... Call it franchise fees or what not, but Travel Channel chose not to exercise their option for a sixth season of the WPT. GSN ... more than willing to pick up the slack for the nation's top poker show. Their plan, to pair it with the nation's #2 poker show, High Stakes Poker...
Jason: Make for all-in TV if you ask me.
Chico: Another power move or another case of Amazing Race? We'll see. After all, GSN has had their share of downgrades in the past year or so.
Jason: I think it's a power move. No reruns and the WPT Is much more popular.
Gordon: The WPT is more popular, and more importantly, GSN is getting NEW episodes. And I think, unlike the Amazing Race, they can actually use these reruns.
Chico: That paired with High Stakes... you're talking a poker fanatic's wet dream of a Monday.
Gordon: Exactly - and with no Football or any other male targeted show on Monday, GSN could pick up some nice improvements
Jason: Smart smart programming move.
Chico: Well, by the time WPT premieres, yeah. So good poker love is on the way. Good news love... even closer. Choppler is hot...
Gordon: Roll that Beautiful Brain Footage

(Doug: Live, local, and latebreaking... From the four corners of the globe to your frontal lobe, this is WLTI Brainvision News, and now here's Gordon Pepper, Chico Alexander, and the award-winning Brainvision News Team)

Chico: Thanks, Doug.  First up, Gordon?

NBC has decided that they want to pick up a show on...singing. Yes, you have to sing in the blank of a song, and it's called the Great American Singing Bee

Jason: Ok....then.
Chico: Wouldn't be the worst idea for a game show ever.
Gordon: People love American Idol and singing, so it has to be a hit, right?
Chico: That's what they said about (insert AI clone here).
Jason: Rock Star, The One, Celebrity Duets
Chico: Fame, Grease...
Gordon: But Can They Sing, Hit Me Baby One More Time, Should we go on?
Chico: Nah, I think we're done here. :-) Next...
Gordon: Next?

Proving his mettle as a reality-game developer of note, Ashton Kutcher is importing the British game show "3 Kings" for MTV

Jason: Premise?
Chico: Contestants take part in tests of speed, skill, and pain in order to take on a reigning champion, or "King."
Jason: Oh yeah. Interesting...looks good for MTV.
Chico: An example of challenge: tossing stuff at a bull until he chased them out of the ring. Add that pilot to Beauty and the Geek and upcoming CBS project "Game Show in My Head", and Kutcher might be a busy fella.
Ryan: Does he need moore projects, do you think?
Gordon: Well, he's got all of Demi Moore's kids to help him out. Of course, they are all older than he is, so they bring more wisdom to the table.
Chico: *rimshot*
Ryan: *sigh*
Chico: ... don't playa hate... participate :-) Of if you must, hate on this =p
Gordon: Today we're hating on...the general public.
Jason: Why you doing that. We like our public.

In another case of 'What in the World are you Thinking?', some of the public, in response to Austin Miller NOT winning You're the One that I want, have asked for and gotten refunds for the musical, which opens in a few short months.

Chico: *TPIR losing horns*
Jason: Well it's the public's choice...a dumb one.., but a choice.
Chico: Well, when only 42 people bother to vote..
Jason: Was it that high?
Chico: ... dunno. I'm probably high-balling the figure.
Jason: When did people actually stop buying tickets for THE SHOW. Grease is the SHOW.
Chico: No idea.
Jason: And as a British footnote. The woman who won "How do you Solve A Problem Like Maria" (which was the one this show was based on) is still doing well in the Sound of Music and is going to do it through October 2007
Chico: My guess.. the show was strong in the UK, leading to strong British theatre numbers. However, as was proven at least once... anything with Billy Bush tied to it will bomb. Anything seen as an AI clone... will bomb.  Billy Bush + AI Clone = STOP AT A DOUBLE WHAMMY...
Jason: And the show did so well in the UK, they are doing a 2nd one for Joseph and the Amazing Technicolor Dreamcoat called Any Dream Will Do. It's on now in England as we speak. The woman's name is Connie Fisher by the way. She is Maria.
Ryan: I believe that they're doing a Grease show in the UK as well, correct?
Jason: "any Dream" debuted last week in the UK
Chico: Cowell withdrew as a judge for the UK show casting Grease due to time crunches related to American Idol, but he'll still serve as EP. That's at least the latest on that. But hey, goes to show you. you can't complain if you don't vote, right? Speaking of which... it's time to get Fully Loaded..
Jason: Hic
Chico: This week, dueling websites.

We've all heard of VoteForTheWorst.com... Well, get ready for VoteAgainstTheWorst.com.

Jason: Cool idea if you ask me...true freedom of expression
Chico: Whose sole purpose, judging from the graphic on the page: getting rid of Sanjaya. If you ask me, though...
Jason: Yes?
Chico: I think it's kind of a wasted effort on both parts. I mean, there's no way that Sanjaya will win anyway.... Three points. 1) Eventually, math will kick in. There will get to be a point where true fans of the AI will outnumber and outvote all the Ashley Perls and all the VFTWers in the world.
Jason: #2?
Chico: 2) VFTW tends to back off and support the better singers once they believe that they've had their fun (read: round of 3). 3) Even Jasmine Trias was eventually given the royal boot.
Jason: LOL
Chico: While the effect of both sites are ... well... minimal at best... this is pretty much boiling down to Q rating.
Gordon: Actually, no. VFTW decides to go for the winner to make themselves look good
Jason: And I don't think they back off.
Chico: See #2.
Chico: But yeah, you get the point. Eventually, the worst will leave, leaving the heavyweights to fight it out for the title.
Jason: We hope.
Chico: They have to... because if the worst wins... it's the end of American Idol, rendering what they do moot. Ratings or not. And, ultimately, the end of me doing this... *Area Codes*
Jason: (starts dancing)

In this week's Media Ho Report, Tim Gunn makes it official that he will be on board for Project Runway 4, Lisa Tucker gets into a FOX Pilot, and Kellie Pickler will host the CMT Music Awards Video of the year.

Jason: Good for Tim.
Chico: And Lisa.

Heather talks about her leg, Ivanka talks about men with brains over brawn and The Donald keeps his hair in a Wrestlemania match

Jason: And he takes a Stone Cold Stunner and clotheslines Vinnie Mac to boot.
Gordon: But none of those are the ho of the week. This week's award goes to...Kentucky Fried Chicken.
Jason: Why?
Chico: They offered free chicken bowls if Sanjaya got a bowl cut. FOR LIFE. I would've thought for sure that Bob Barker would've gotten the nod, given his lifetime achievement, his honorary doctorate, and all the fracas about who'll be his successor.
Gordon: Free bowls for life AND a check made out in his name to a scholarship fund. Now THAT'S being a corporate ho.
Jason: Nice pub for them. He knows his 15 minutes of fame ain't going to be over for a while. William Hung is still doing Commercials...and Sanjaya...bank that cash please.
Chico: Corporate trumps all =p
Jason: Bob is going to be in our sights for the next 3 months anyway.
Gordon: Pretty much. And those...are your hoes.
Chico: And one last flight on WLTI Flight 42 to ... the UK. We love going over to Britain...
Jason: Love the beer.

Bruce Forsyth is set to host a revival of his "Generation Game", while Vernon Kay is prepped to run the Gameshow Marathon with The Price is Right to start, and Kylie's younger sister Dannii Minogue will round out the panel on "The X-Factor".

Jason: I have one more piece of British news as of Today.
Chico: Bring it.
Jason: Ant and Dec are finalizing a deal to stay at ITV for as much as 20M pounds...each.
Chico: They're androids, I tells ya.
Jason: But they are the hottest hosts in the UK and deserve every penny.
Chico: And we're back home. We realize you have a choice in airlines, and we thank you for choosing WLTI Airways. Enjoy your stay at Whammyville or wherever your adventures may take you.
Gordon: Too bad they did NOTHING in the U.S.
Chico: STAY TUNED... :-) Anyway, that'll round out Brainvision for another week. Judge fights a-plenty and product tie-ins after the break, but first, here's what we have so far for our last YLTI... We asked if you approved of the new model Mercedes... 23% of you approve. 31% say it's too soon to tell. 46%... send her back. What question can you befuddle our audience with this week, Gordon?
Gordon: Here's what I got this week for you...

[FrontPage Save Results Component] Where do you think Sanjaya Malakar will finish on Idol? Doesn't make Top 6 Gets into Top 4 Gets into Finals Wins the whole thing and civilization as we know it is altered irreparably

Chico: Wow...
Jason: LOL
Chico: Results next week. Excessories is on the other side of the break. This is We Love to Interrupt, celebrating five years... one zany game at a time.
Gordon: Cause that's how we roll
Jason: fist bumps, yo.
Chico: ... biotch :-)

(Brainvision has been brought to you by Matzo Meal or No Matzo Meal. Knock out the Gefilte fish and the chopped liver to get to the yummy chocolate Macaroons, but watch out for the Banker, who could offer you hard egg kichel.)

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