February 12, 2007

Gordon: This is Gordon Pepper, and...Chico, you'll never guess what I found in my mailbox this week.
Chico: What did you find in your mailbox receptacle?
Gordon: A Swifter!
Chico: Today... if we're talking broomball... it must be sweeps.
Joe: A glass of brandy? No, wait, that's a snifter.
Mike: It's not swift, it's swifter.
Chico: From somewhere in America... WLTI Broomball... is on!
Gordon: Whee!
Joe: Biggety-biggety-boo-yah!
Chico: What's good friends, alongside Gordon Pepper, Mike Klauss, Don Harpwood... and the RETURN of a legend, the Game Show Man Joe Van Ginkel, I'm Chico Alexander.
Joe: !SALUTE!
Gordon: We start with saluting a man named Larry.
Chico: Our sweeps spectacular begins with... the last man standing. Imagine for one moment... you had two Millionaire champions...Two Jeopardy! champions... A nun... and a poker pro in the same building.
Mike: Sounds like a Game Show Congress, coming this July to LA.
Joe: We hope.
Don: Indeed.
Chico: Anyways, the game that's usually simple was far from it this week. First off, one person out of the 100 was randomly chosen to face the other 99. That person... poker star Annie Duke. She would play the game completely straight. No money amounts... No help. And she couldn't bail out at any time, which made her a nervous wreck. Uncommon for a poker player.
Joe: No kidding. But then this was a different situation than what she's used to.
Chico: Oh yeah.
Don: The only advantage she seemed to have is that she could take her time with answering.
Chico: Among the questions she was posed... and this is an example of how hard the material was.

Which has more stories?
A) The Chrysler Building
b) The Transamerica Pyramid
c) The complete works of Stephen King

Joe: Whoa.
Chico: Mob, please answer now.
Joe: B
Gordon: I dq myself because I saw the show. However, I did get the answer right.
Don: I saw it, too.
Mike: I don't know why you guys are stumped on this one. The Rich List had a question about Stephen King's works. The list of possible answers was 3 or 4 pages long.
Chico: Like anyone remembers that :-)
Mike: I did. :-P
Chico: Well, in any event, correct answer: C. Now, Annie was one of 5 people left when the bottom fell out. Let me cue up my box here...

Who has been married the most number of times?
a) King Henry VIII
b) Larry King
c) King of Pop Michael Jackson.

Joe: Ai-yah.
Chico: Among the four people left in the mob: Ken Jennings and a guy named Larry.
Don: When I saw it, I was thinking B, knowing that Larry King had been married plenty of times.
Chico: I too was thinking B... Larry King was married 7 or so times. And everyone but Larry Zerner gets it wrong. And the show pays a cool $250,000.
Gordon: Congratulations to Larry, who outlasted 100 very intelligent people to win.
Chico: Execution wise, this was probably as close as you could get from the best way to do it without one little bit here... Now, if I were Scott St. John... at the risk of being labeled unoriginal, I would've gone with a Fastest Finger First.
Gordon: Add the bailout and remove the option to quit to the civilian version of the show and you have a near-perfect show. We end the show with Raul Torres, who has to deal with 5 paparazzi and 7 Hawaiian Tropic girls,
Joe: I take the Hawaiian Tropic girls. :D
Gordon: He gets through the first 27 mobsters, but if you see NBC spoil the show, he gets up to $253,000...but does he go all the way? Find out on Friday.
Don: Should be a good one.
Chico: Meanwhile, over on that other big money game show that NBC likes to air, we get the continuation of Vicki Monzingo's game. Gordon... you're allowed one short joke, and one short joke ONLY this week.
Joe: WHOO MAGIC JOHNSON!
Mike: Someone cue up Randy Newman's "Short People"...
Chico: That was last week, Mike.
Joe: ROFLMAO
Chico: Catch up :-)
Mike: Dammit
Gordon: Match Game Style: Vicky and Magic Johnson are having an affair. That's because Magic has a hickey on his (blank)
Joe: Aiyah.
Mike: Ankle
Chico: Must... resist... urge... to give... Nell Carter answer.
Joe: You mean a Vicki Lawrence answer, Chico.
Mike: Do it. Sister Rose will show you where the confessional booth is located.
Gordon: if you saw the Ross Shafer version of Match Game '90, the correct answer was Knee. If you watched the Match game Michael Berger version, the answer is basketballs.
Chico: But yeah, her game ends in a $48,000 deal after a pep talk from Magic Johnson.
Gordon: Which was the correct thing to do, because she would have found the $750,000 on her next selection. She makes a good deal, as she only had $50.
Chico: And she had eight cases in play, meaning that Vicki's game is technically the shortest game of DoND on record in the US.
Gordon: Good job, Chico
Chico: ... wait, I just realized what I said just now.
Gordon: Yay!
Don: lol
Joe: Took him a minute, didn't it?
Chico: Welcome to the dark side... yeah.
Gordon: Would you like some Haterade, Chico?
Chico: Later.
Joe: Gordon's gonna turn Chico into a vampire. He has Haterade running through his veins.
Chico: Next up, a crazy dude by the name of Giuseppe Iannello. He played for $2 million
Joe: Papa Giuseppe.
Mike: The Italian stereotype
Chico: Well, he makes mention of "Affari Toi", which of course is the Italian version of the show... And its host makes a special appearance via satellite.
Gordon: How do you say Sweeps in Italian?
Joe: Pepperoni and Sausage :D
Chico: "Esweep"... don't hold me to that. Papa Giuseppe ended up with $127,000.... he had $100,000. I suppose while we're still riding the worldwide Deal tip...Sunday was the premiere of DOND Canada...
Gordon: Yay!
Chico: Which is just like the American version... only it has loonies and toonies... SERIOUSLY.
Joe: And Howie, too, IIRC.
Don: Yep.
Chico: Kee-rect. Don, perhaps you can give us some insight?
Don: Well, with the board, to make room for the toonie, they took out the $400,000.
Chico: But other than that, it's identical. Right?
Don: Right.
Joe: Wait, a toonie?
Don: $2.
Joe: Oh. :D
Mike: A tiny toonie.
Joe: "We're a all a little loonie."
Mike: hahahahaha. You're a plucky duck, Joe.
Joe: (No Buster Bunny jokes, please.)
Gordon: How loonie were the contestants?
Don: These contestants were rather excited, especially the second one. She was quite hyper.
Chico: Well you'd be excited too if you were watching the big show and finally got a chance to play it.
Don: Anyway, the first one, Brian, took a $109,000 deal for his $400 case.
Chico: Nice
Joe: Good deal.
Don: He had 6 cases left, including $750,000. It turns out, though, that he could have gone another few rounds before knocking that big one out. The offer would have gone as high as $268,000.
Chico: That's a spicy meatball.
Don: But still, yeah, a good deal.
Chico: What was the audience response, you know?
Don: Big. Really big. Like, so big, that Canada's Case Game had to run for another hour due to the huge response there.
Chico: Serious?
Don: Yep. As for viewers... 2.7 million of them.
Gordon: Which is HUGE.
Chico: That's pretty hefty.
Joe: Awesome.
Joe: A HUGE deal.
Chico: Mike's favorite had the two cents.
Mike: My favorite?
Chico: #10.
Mike: Giggity. Even though I'm more of an Ursula fan now. Seeing her in-person at a taping...yowza.
Chico: Heh.
Joe: I'll take #1, #7 and #9. :D
Mike: You guys could've had the Ursula experience but nooooooo, you had to move a mattress to Travis Schario's pad.
Joe: lol
Mike: I need a cold shower.
Gordon: Would you settle for a cold campsite?
Mike: No deal! *closes case on Gordon's fingers*
Gordon: Ow! That hurt, biotch!
Chico: Well, while Gordon nurses MORE wounds, we have another premiere to talk about. A Survivor so gritty, one of the players quit before the game even began.
Don: I guess that's why the contestant count was 19, right?
Gordon: Yep. Note to Contestant Coordinators: when a contestant has a history of panic attacks, selecting her to be on an island with limited supplies for 39 days may not be such a bright idea.
Joe: Do I have repeat myself? Survivor = teh suck.
Mike: Preach on, Brotha VG
Chico: This particular iteration of suck had the same twist currently being employed by sister show The Apprentice. That of win = good life, loss = hard life. Am I the only one thinking that Mark Burnett might have run out of good ideas if he's using the same idea twice... and simultaneously?
Mike: What equates to "good life" and "bad life" when you're on an island with several dozen strangers?
Gordon: Sorry. I like the show. It's still built on sociology, and the wide mix of race can make this show very interesting.
Mike: Fire good, no fire bad?
Chico: You'd be surprised. Good life... Food, shelter, and amenities fit for a Turkish holiday... whatever that is. Hard life... well, it's Survivor, use your imagination. The question I have now... how will this twist affect the game? Obviously the onus is on the tribes to win. But as far as the interplay...
Mike: It'll be just like The Apprentice LA--the losing team will be upset but motivated to win, while the winners enjoy their amenities.
Gordon: I think it will affect the Interplay greatly and will be much different than the premise on The Apprentice. It's going to be much harder to like people who have more than you do, and hence harder to get along with come the merge.
Chico: Hmm.. very interesting take. This like the Two Americas argument?
Gordon: Exactly like it - but as the greater America, you need me, The Smaller America, for my vote.
Chico: One can't get along with the others, or like is the excess something that can become addicting, and when you have it no more, then you start coming up with withdrawal... Wow... who knew that this season was going to run so deep?
Don: I didn't think of it like that... Sounds like this'll be more interesting than I thought.
Gordon: The winner this year is going to be the person who can be the best negotiator. It is like Burnett's ideas are running together, but with completely different strategies.
Chico: Amazing the way things work, isn't it?
Gordon: For example, if I wanted to get to one of the 2 most popular foreign travel sites, I would have to go to Don's house.
Joe: Don has a travel site?
Chico: News to me. =p
Don: Wait... When did I get a travel site?
Gordon: Did you know that the 2 most popular countries to travel from the US are Canada and Mexico?
Chico: Ah, travel SITE...Well, from one sociological parable to another... We're going back to high school.
Mike: I do that 5 times per week. 2 times a week when the temps are below zero, like this past week. :-P
Joe: For those playing the home game, Mike's a math teacher.
Mike: Regular readers should know that. :-)
Chico: Yeah, it was pretty cold... unless you were a teenager on the Jeopardy! set. Then you were red hot. This was probably one of the better Teen Tourneys to come around in a while.
Mike: The level of competition this week was superb.
Chico: That it was.
Joe: No doubt of that. The semis and the championship match should be awesome if this week's shows are any indication.
Gordon: Excellent competition, and you have a number of players who could win this - but the player to beat probably showed up on Monday.
Chico: Hank Robinson?
Mike: Yes. He was amazing.
Chico: Which leads us to Big Board time...

Chico: Time to handicap this thing. You have three choices for finals. Gordon, please lead us off.
Gordon: My favorite is Hank Robinson. he not only is a smart guy, he's a very good player.
Chico: And the other two?
Gordon: I liked Ben Schenkel and David Walter.
Chico: Okay, Mike, your final three?
Mike: Monday's matchup has Hank Robinson playing my dark horse in the tournament, Ben Schenkel. (Ben had $20K+ at the end of Double J! on Thursday but ended up a wild card since he missed Final J!). Whomever wins on Monday will take it all.
Chico: Okay. Don?
Mike: For the other games, I'll take the two players from Friday night's game--Heidi Fogle and David Walter. Both deserved to advance, and they did. In summation, Hank/Ben, Heidi, and David.
Chico: Okay, Don?
Gordon: Ill go Hank, Heidi and David.
Joe: I'll go with Gordon and Mike's choices.
Don: I'll concur.
Chico: I'm going to go off the board and say Hank, Heidi, and Stephen. Certainly the meta-game will come into play next week. We know you're good at recall... how good are you at wagering? That will decide the tournament.
Gordon: Very true. And then in around 15 years, some of these people may go to another show to pay for their wedding.
Joe: WHOO MILLIONAIRE!: :D
Gordon: So what highlights did we get this week, Chico?
Chico: In a word... underwhelming.
Mike: Excellent description.
Chico: The highest anyone left with was the $25K bailout.
Gordon: 2 heads aren't better than one, eh?
Mike: What really bugged me is that people didn't use their Switch the
Question. I saw it happen at least twice.
Chico: The lifelines can only help. That's why they're called lifelines.
Mike: True, but if you don't know question 1, why not roll the dice on a new question? You have no worse than a 1 in 4 chance on getting the 2nd question right.
Chico: that's right. And even on a $50,000 question, you have nothing to lose
Gordon: True. You should absolutely never leave with Lifelines on the table
Don: Would've been good for Steve & Molly to use that Lifeline on Tuesday, since they had different gut feelings.
Chico: Totally
Joe: No question.
Chico: Lifelines. They're yours. Use them. This bit of advice brought to you by British Chest Gropers for Better Pop Music. Gordon, I believe you know where we're going. This week, I believe we had what could possibly be the worst audition at least I'VE ever heard. The song, allegedly... is "Black Velvet" by Alannah Myles.
Joe: Oh no...
Gordon: It wasn't awful, just incomprehensible.
Chico: I heard of making the song your own... but DAMN SON!
Don: Yipes.
Chico: That was ... a totally different number.
Joe: And it's a quick way to be shown the door.
Gordon: Oh it was their own. Complete with original melody, and lyrics, but on a happier note, the wackiness is over. Now we get to the fun part - the audition. The Hollywood week promises to be fun - and it also shows us who the contenders are.
Chico: One of these jokers is the American Idol, and after the Hollywood Round, we'll see who has the chops to go on to the public vote.
Joe: Actually...an article on TV Week quotes producer Nygel Lythgoe as the Hollywood week being 'a bloodbath'.
Gordon: Bloodbath. Sounds fun =)
Chico: Meanwhile, it's news time. Aight then. Choppler is hot. Gordon, that's you.
Gordon: Roll That Beautiful Brain Footage

(Doug: Live, local, and latebreaking... From the four corners of the globe to your frontal lobe, this is WLTI Brainvision News, and now here's Gordon Pepper, Chico Alexander, and the award-winning Brainvision News Team)

 

Chico: Thanks. First story, G?

Wanna be on Identity? You can go to Chicago, Atlanta, Phoenix, Las Vegas, and Dallas to audition, or call 1-888-634-2654 to be on the show as an identity and win $400

Chico: Easiest $400 you'll ever make.
Joe: If you get picked.
Chico: But of course, you have to prove yourself TV friendly. Of course, I'd say that Gordon as "Bowling Alley Inspector" is a lock.
Joe: lol
Gordon: lol I was wondering when that would come up
Chico: "Now Gordon... Glass blower... Is... that... your identity?" "(raspberry) WRONG."
Gordon: (Raspberry)
Don: lol
Chico: Next story...

You want to be on the World Series of Pop Culture? You'll have your chance to qualify as one of the Perfect Strangers wild-card team online at vh1.com

Chico: Remember this date: February 14. Hard to forget. It's Valentine's Day.
Joe: The Block's b-day, isn't it?
Gordon: That it is. If you remember last season, the Perfect Strangers almost won the whole thing
Chico: That's right. So if you want to get in on the game, it's February 14, this Wednesday, at 7p or 10p ET on pciq.vh1.com. And you could compete for your cut of $250,000. And maybe school Pat Kiernan in the ways of a proper game show host in the process.
Joe: lol
Chico: Okay, maybe not, but we can all dream.
Gordon: El Snoozeacabra
Chico: Okay, Gordon... Now I want some Haterade.
Gordon: We'll make it topical. Speaking of American Idol...

Those wacky Contestant Coordinators are at it again on Idol, this time not allowing Akron Watson to play because, supposedly, of his drug conviction. Now normally, this would make sense, except for the fact that it hasn't stopped Idol before from bringing in people with drugs on their record. Bo Bice, anyone?

Chico: ... yep. Perhaps they're looking to avoid any skeletons. Remember the Brittenums?
Joe: The who?
Chico: The twins who beat their sister or something. No, wait, that was Corey Clark?
Gordon: Twins who beat their sister??!!
Chico: See? They're trying to cleanse the Idol choosing process.
Gordon: Corey Clark beat his sister. The Brittenums got jailed for forgery.
Chico: Thank you.
Joe: Oh.
Gordon: Next article?
Chico: Next, let's get fully loaded.... *phone rings* Hold on... Hello? That was Jason. He says "HIC".  Today, it's The Apprentice.

Donald is coming to the PC.

Joe: Blah.
Chico: It is to play like the TV show. That's... really all I can say about that.
Joe: If you're into that kind of thing.
Mike: Unless it's Trump Card, I don't want The Donald on my PC.
Gordon: You know what Donald would say to the motherboard if you downloaded the wrong candidate to your computer?
Chico: You're fried.
Gordon: Very good. The Donald is a good media ho, ain't he?
Chico: Speaking of... *plays "Area Codes"*
Joe: I'm Fried? When did I turn into a Colonel's Crispy Strip?
Mike: Don't you remember Trump's House of Wings from SNL about 3 years ago? You're fryered!
Don: I remember that! lol
Chico: How can I forget. Thanks, Jay... that was an entertaining icon.
Mike: I had an icon of that too...
Chico: That was a very popular icon. What can I say.
Mike: It was the funniest thing on SNL in a decade.
Joe: Not for me. :D
Gordon: In this week's Hodometer...

Bucky Covington thanks Simon Cowell for helping him get a contract, while Paula Abdul gets sued, Shandi Finnessey goes on Tour, Tim Gunn moves to Clairol and gets ripped by Jay McCarroll...

Mike: Where in the world will Shandi be?
Joe: Shandi on tour? Doing what?
Chico: She was in Edwardsville talking up cancer research.

John Gray is the first contestant to appear on a reality competition show and announce he is HIV positive (not to be confused with Pedro Zamora, who was in The Real World: San Francisco, but that was not a reality competition show). Chris Tarrant gets a divorce, and Oasis singer Liam Gallagher appears on Countdown.

Chico: Let me guess... none of them are our ho of the week? =p
Gordon: How did you guess?
Chico: Eh. Just lucky. So who gets the Pimp Cup this week?
Joe: I'll bet it's Donald Trump.
Gordon: The pimp cup goes to...Katharine McPhee, who's debut album debuts...at #2. Very impressive.
Chico: And who's #1? Norah Jones.
Joe: Yay for McPheever.
Chico: And quite deserved, I might add.
Gordon: Don't know why...
Joe: ...I didn't call. :P
Chico: Sounds like RPG music that song does.  Did I ever say that? Because I'm saying it now. Okay, let's go global right quick.
Gordon: I see. final article?
Chico: This week, two trips to opposing ends of the big money spectrum.

On one end in the UK, Tesco manager Dennis Powell becomes the first on DoND to win the whopping total of... 50p.

Joe: Ai-yah.
Chico: That's about a dollar here.
Don: Yipes.
Mike: We have The Dennis Club over there. 50p is the last box value to be won on UK's Deal.

On the other end, Mark Eizenberg, a lecturer in Australian politics, ran the distance on their version of the Rich List, ending up with $125,000.

Don: Nice.
Joe: The Australians actually LIKE that show?
Chico: That's almost $100,000 here... and yes, Australians like that show.
Joe: lol
Mike: If I might throw in another item, Australia's version of the UK's Poker Face debuted this week. It's called The ConTest. Just like its UK counterpart, the Aussie show is great. Hopefully we'll get to see it in the states.
Chico: Let's hope. Because ABC's 0 for 2 on this sort of thing. Remember they were supposed to get both ConTest and DoND? Yet they said yes to Master of Champions.
Joe: Dummies.
Mike: They let Deal lapse, and we know the rest of the story. ConTest/Poker Face is much better than Show Me the Money.
Chico: Goes to show you where THEY'RE priorities lie.
Joe: Yeah. Lost and Ugly Betty.
Chico: Okay, Brainvision over.
Gordon: Booooop.
Chico: Next up, we play roles and break out the favorite two words of Goodson and Todman. But first, Gordon has the results of last week's YLTI.
Gordon: I do indeed. The question - youre the head of GSN. What show do you bring back?
Joe: RUSSIAN ROULETTE!
Gordon: I know what Joe's choice is.
Joe: So does everyone else.
Mike: I chose Russian Roulette too.
Don: I concur, simply because I haven't had a chance to see it yet.
Chico: Russian Roulette.
Gordon: And 54% of the audience agreed with you.
Mike: A majority. Booyah!
Joe: WHOOOOOOOOOO!
Gordon: 27% said Whammy, 11% said Extreme Dodgeball, 4% said something else, and 4% said BallBreakers
Joe: lol. So what's this week's YLTI?
Chico: Simply put...

[FrontPage Save Results Component] Jeopardy!'s Teen Tournament... Who wins? Whoever wins on Monday (Hank Robinson/Caroline Bartman/Ben Schenkel) Whoever wins on Tuesday (Myles Jeffrey/Naomi Hinchen/David Walter) Whoever wins on Wednesday (Heidi Fogle/Frank Firke/Stephen Fritz)

Chico: You vote. We'll tabulate. I wish it was less simple, that's how simple it is. We'll come back to that next week, but we'll come back with Roleplay after the break. This is WLTI, celebrating five years of... umm.. help?
Mike: Spreading the love.
Chico: That works.
Joe: WHROROROOOOOOOOOO
Mike: ROFL JOE
Chico: HA!
Joe: Mike remembers where that comes from.
Mike: I do
Chico: I do too. Drunken game night.
Joe: But only for MX.

(Brainvision has been brought to you by Sabado Karaoke. In a few weeks, Simon Cowell will tell people that they sound like they should be in 'Chilean Karaoke' (like he did in Season 1), so why not send them over?)

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