May 14, 2007

Gordon: This is Gordon Pepper, and last week, we had burros running around the set. I understand that this week is mother's day weekend, and I understand that this is during sweeps, and I understand that we talk about llama mamas, but Chico...did we really have to get...achoo...llamas?
Chico: Luckily we had the set cleaned up and sanitized and smelling springtime fresh.
Jason: Oh good.
Gordon: If I had a bet with you and made a bet that Lingo would give away more than 50 times the amount that Deal Or No Deal did this week, you'd take me up on that bet, wouldn't you?
Jason: Usually yes.
Gordon: Especially with Deal Or No Deal celebrating episode #100
Chico: We'll tell you why you'd be out a sushi dinner in a bit, because from somewhere in America, the Mother's Day edition of WLTI is on!
Jason: Whoo-hoo!
Gordon: We welcome our resident llama mama Jason Block to join us this episode. Welcome, Jason
Jason: Baaaaahhhh. How are you guys.
Chico: We're alright.
Gordon: Better than this week's Deal Or No Deal contestants who win a combined...$401.
Jason: That's about how much I made at work this week.
Chico: While one team on Lingo hit the jackpot of $21,000... go figure. But let's stick with Deal for a second, the show that celebrates its 100th show.
Jason: And brings back Brooks Leach.
Chico: Seems like only yesterday we were wondering how big it was going to be... =p
Gordon: Brooks Leach, he of the $10 fame, ends all of the excitement of his game early by wiping out the right side.
Chico: The good news... he didn't end up with $10.
Jason: He ended up with $400.
Gordon: He won 40 times that - or $400.
Jason: Just not his game.
Chico: But props for being gutsy.
Gordon: That's still $399 more than what we witnessed on Episode #99, as we get Julie Lamera's trip to...one dollar.
Jason: That is a record low yes?
Chico: Oh yeah. That's almost as bad as it gets.
Gordon: What makes it even more painful is that she leaves a $136,000 Dealer Offer on the table
Chico: The board?
Gordon: The board, at the end of round 3 -

Chico: With three to open next round... Hmm... and it's a dealer's board. That would be no deal.
Gordon: No Deal to that, picks off the penny, 750,000 and the million. What's left?

Chico: At least she picks off the penny, but now it's a draw bard.
Jason: Ouch
Gordon: No Deal, picks off both 6 digit boxes, and it's game over.
Chico: Rotten luck.
Jason: Yeah
Chico: What does one say about that... Just a case of rotten luck. I mean, you look at a board like that, and think to yourself, no way is that going to happen, it's just not in the cards. All of a sudden.. BAM.
Gordon: Just to show you that it is mathematically possible for disaster to strike and sometimes bailing out with an early 6 figured deal is not a bad thing
Jason: That's where the luck is involved.
Chico: It's not all skill, alas. It's like a lawmaker said in banning poker in North Carolina. You can have all the skill in the world, but all the skill in the world will not turn a deuce into an ace.
Gordon: Neither is selecting 1 out of 13 Lingo balls for a $21,000 Jackpot - but it happened.
Chico: Oh yeah.
Jason: Yes it did. We had a nice win this week.
Chico: It was the Thursday show, I believe. Luc & Bay, having just won $300 in Bonus Lingo. That translates to three balls. And it only takes one. That one.. 43. Luc pulls... 43.
Jason: And boom $10,500 each into their pockets.
Chico: Everyone goes nuts, it's all crazy, everyone's happy, and we have the second jackpot win of the season. And that, my friends, is why we watch. Because just as gold can turn back into rocks, a one-in-a-million shot can hit dead on.
Jason: Nice payoff for a 13-1 shot.
Gordon: And what's the chance of seeing a Million Dollar question on Are You Smarter than a 5th grader?
Chico: Depends on how good the player is.
Jason: We saw it this week I think.
Chico: If the player is, say, Pat Germano... slim to none... and slim left town. If the player, on the other hand, is Steve Nalepa... Pretty good. I'm not going to say he blazed through his stack, but how often do you hear one of the class say "I don't think he NEEDS my help!"
Gordon: But...Poor Steve, as we once again see history being made - for the wrong reasons
Chico: If you watched Fox, you know (and it's probably no accident that this came up over and over again on Tuesday and Wednesday night) that Steve plays the MDQ. Said question. Gordon, you can't play. Because we talked about this yesterday.
Gordon: Fine. Pbbbbt.
Jason: Bring it.
Chico: The category is 5th Grade Astronomy.
Jason: Oh boy.
Chico: The question...

What was the name of the first satellite put into orbit by the United States.

Chico: If it makes you feel any better... When I watched this, I got it wrong.
Jason: The only one I can think of is TELSTAR.
Gordon: I got it right=).
Chico: And now I feel better. I said Skylab.
Jason: Wow. That's tough.
Gordon: Me, being the studly person that I am, said the right answer - Explorer 1.
Chico: Ah nuts.. Steve said Mercury... ALSO got it wrong. Yeah... Studly...
Gordon: That being said, I have a letter that need to go right here. This one from Josh Johannssen
Jason: Early mail delivery...cool!

Jason: I think it does.
Gordon: We'll answer the second part first. Yes, the $475,000 is the biggest loss in game show history. That could potentially be tied by anyone who misses the million dollar question on Millionaire, but that hasn't happened yet.
Chico: Nope.
Jason: And Millionaire always gives the option to walk away.
Chico: Most Millionaire players will walk after seeing that question and quivering in fear.
Jason: 11 US people didn't however.
Gordon: Lets get to the other part of the letter - is that a 5th grader question?
Chico: I'll say it's a fifth grade question, but not necessarily an astronomy question. We got the space race... from a history book.
Jason: Yes 5th grade...what Chico said.
Gordon: Maybe a 5th grade question if you lived in 1962
Chico: 1991, actually. Still remember Mrs. Copeland talking about the difference between Sputnik and Skylab. But that's another story for another day.
Gordon: yes - but would you get that in a 5th grade class in 2007?
Jason: 5th grade for me was 1979
Chico: I don't know. Let's ask one =p
Jason: Let me see if I can get that answer and we'll get back to you
Chico: But it COULD be a 5th grade question. Not outside the realm of possibility.
Gordon: we graduate from grade school to college, where we see the end of the Jeopardy College Tournament
Chico: And it's the three we picked going for the gold. Craig, Christine, and Cliff.
Jason: I love it when that happens...don't you? :-)
Chico: The real match, though, was between the man from UCLA, Cliff... and the man from Stanford... Craig. They went into Friday's show neck and neck as Cliff missed a final after dominating the front game. The same final Craig got. It was a horse race from there. Except when Craig tripped on a Daily Double. Drama folks.. It all comes down to one answer on Final Jeopardy. The category... America. That whittles it.
Jason: Sure. The answer is: (Ding)
Gordon: Bet it all, Jay
Chico: The clue:

It says, "Prudence ... will dictate that governments long established should not be changed for light and transient causes."

Chico: *hums J! theme*
Jason: What is the Declaration of Independence?
Chico: Gordon?
Gordon: Declaration of Independence it is
Chico: Point for me as well. And point for Craig, who got it right.
Jason: High Fives all around.
Chico: His final score: $27,007... That's two day's worth.
Gordon: What were the other 2 responses?
Chico: The US Constitution for both Cliff and Christine.
Jason: Ouch.
Chico: In Cliff's case, it's added to "Go Bruins". Because if you're a UCLA alum, it is required law to say "Go Bruins" once on a game show.
Jason: Its in the charter.
Chico: BUT! BUT!
Jason: What?
Chico: Cliff only bets $100 of his $18,000. Craig made a Venusian wager of $2000 of his $9000. Meaning that Cliff Galiher is your College Champ.
Jason: Oh wow!
Chico: Congrats, Cliff on a game well played... and (Deadpan) Go Bruins..
Jason: Kentucky Fried Tarheel anyone?
Gordon: (munch munch) mmmm (munch) tasty Tarheel (Munch, munch, munch)
Chico: Hey... that's two words, bucko.
Jason: come on...you guys CHOKED that game away in March.
Chico: Hey... I will not deny that someone was going for the long ball when they shouldn't've. I would've thrown something on the court then.
Gordon: Sports imitates Jeopardy. Should have gone for the long bet
Jason: Thats been happening for the last few years...wimpy FJ bets.
Chico: Hopefully Craig takes a life lesson from this: "Screw it, I'm throwing down field." Speaking of throwing, we had the penultimate ep of Survivor this week, and you know what that means... the car game.
Jason: THE CURSE OF THE CAR... What car was it this year?
Gordon: Yay. Do you think that they munch on Tar Heels in the wild?
Chico: Ask Jeff Varner =p Anyway... we had a Ford F-150 Superduty, 2008.
Jason: A nice big truck!
Chico: Winner of the challenge: Yau-Man.
Gordon: That seems to be the game show car of choice
Jason: NO! He won the car?
Chico: BUT that's not where it quite ends. Yau-Man wants to play Deal or No Deal with Dreamz here.
Jason: And what is Hau-man dealing? Hau for Howie of course.
Chico: Right then and there, he says to Dreamz, hey... I'll give you the truck if you keep me immune if we're both in the final four. Dreamz... DEAL for a truck.
Jason: Interesting...is that legal in the game though?
Chico: Apparently. And as if THAT wasn't enough, given the choice to send someone to Exile Island... He chooses HIMSELF.
Jason: He of the "fake" idol right?
Chico: The very same.
Jason: The man is brilliant.
Chico: Now, this is a power move here. By getting the next clue to the next Idol... AND having Earl's idol in play, he keeps the others from finding it. Next thing you know... Boom. Idol. Gimme. So now Earl and Yau-Man each have an Idol and are sworn to protect each other.
Gordon: Not only that, but he can set it up so that someone looking for the real Idol could find the fake one instead if Yau Man puts it in a conspicuous place
Jason: This is Hatchian in it's brilliance.
Chico: All the while, lights finally come on in Dreamz's head... hey, I either gotta get this guy outta here before the final four OR make myself look like a liar. Talk about being stuck between a hard place and the biggest rock.
Jason: (hands Dreamz some corner and Home Depot brand paint)
Chico: So Yau-Man plays his Idol at Tribal, and nullifies his votes, which is good, because he would've been gone otherwise. Instead, it's the mastermind of Yau-Man's ouster, Stacy, who gets the TPIR losing horns. This was a very involved play. Yau-Man is a freaking genius. a) Passed the car curse to someone else, and b) has access to TWO idols, three if he wins the next Immunity challenge. Would you say that he's a lock for final four?
Jason: Yes.
Gordon: I would think so
Jason: Can he win...not sure.
Chico: So now it's on Dreamz... do I potentially give up my shot at a million to make sure you don't get yours? God this is so Machiavellian I LOVE IT!
Gordon: I loved to see a DOUBLE SHOWCASE WIN, MYSELF
Chico: I think I can make that happen. This week in the Pricewatch it's Beecher Sykes. He starts off with power tools. But he loses his game, 1 Right Price. Which is one of the simplest, yet hardest games to win. Now... Beecher wins runner-up in the Showcase and gets a bedroom with sleep set, a luggage set, and a holiday in Sweden.  Whatamibid, whatamibid?
Jason: I read the results so I know.
Chico: You read it too, G?
Gordon: I'll bid $15,555
Chico: Beecher bid $17,000 flat. It was $17,031.
Gordon: Nice!
Jason: Very good.
Chico: It took a whole season, but we finally got another DSW!
Jason: Nice.
Chico: But we still have four weeks to go before Bob's final show, so we could see another one... hopehopehope.. Would be something if it happened WEDNESDAY NIGHT AT 8P, 7P CENTRAL.
Jason: The first of two shows saluting the man himself.
Chico: The second, of course, on Thursday, which is more of a tribute to the man and his work. Meanwhile, GSN will salute the man all this week with scattered appearances on the schedule.
Jason: And yes on Monday--according to our friends at Golden-Road.net...Mark Steines is getting yet another tryout.
Chico: Does Mark absolutely need another tryout? a) He has work... and good work, mind you. b) Opposite can be said for Todd Newton.
Jason: Exactly.
Chico: But we're getting ahead of ourselves....  We'll see what happens next week. Meanwhile... in a complete surprise to no one, LaKisha meets her Waterloo when she can't "stay alive" to the proper tempo. What else need be said.
Gordon: What's the actual retain price of the Brainvision Hamsters?
Chico: As for hamsters... They cost me about $50...  A month for upkeep.
Jason: But we need to talk about Idol...a surprise to no one here.
Gordon: Roll that beautiful Brain footage
Jason: Got it.

(Doug: Live, local, and latebreaking... From the four corners of the globe to your frontal lobe, this is WLTI Brainvision News, and now here's Gordon Pepper, Chico Alexander, and the award-winning Brainvision News Team)

Chico: Okay, first up...

Going back to that Idol results show. That same show also announced the search for "The Next American Band"...

Jason: Americanidol.com for details.
Chico: So if you have a band or you know a band or you just like playing Guitar Hero a lot, you can go to Americanidol.com for details. Best unsigned band gets a contract... kinda like the biggest battle of the bands EVER.
Gordon: That should be fun - though I am wondering if it's not too much musical voting overload
Chico: Shouldn't be if America's Got Talent gets balanced. Besides, we need something to fill the void of "Rock Star," right? ... Right?
Jason: Maybe.
Chico: I'll take maybe.
Gordon: No Rock Star this Summer? I'm shocked. SHOCKED!
Chico: ... you're not really shocked are you?
Gordon: uh...no.
Jason: Not at all.
Chico: Figured. :-) Next?
Gordon: I know that Chico can't live without his Bachelor-like love relationship shows. Isn't that right, Chico?
Jason: Awwww...
Chico: I can and have. But that's a moot point.

Well make a date with tennis star Mark Phillippousis for June 18th, where he will get to play with 13 women in Age of Love

Gordon: The age ranges are from 21 to 48. Think Average Joe, with years substituted for looks.
Chico: half of them older, the other half.. younger.
Gordon: And yes, these are the same people who gave us Average Joe
Jason: Must....resist...naughty...tennis...joke....
Chico: Nice to know that they're actually thinking of something new for a change. Will it work in its prescribed cause? No.
Gordon: Tennis Game? Yes. Love? No.
Chico: *rimshot* Perhaps that'll be the audience share... LOVE. Tennis players will get that.
Jason: I got it.
Chico: Meanwhile, DS players will get ... THIS!

Deal or No Deal will launch a version for the Nintendo DS this June. Not to leave cerebral gamers out, Jeopardy!'s 2007 Mobile edition is available right now. A subscription keeps the info coming.

Jason: Always fun.
Chico: Always
Chico: So if you have a DS or a cell phone, this summer, you're getting fully loaded.
Jason: HIC
Gordon: but don't play it on a plane
Chico: That's right. Wait till you get off and you're safely on the ground.. THEN play it. Safety first
Gordon: And if you belong to an airline, and you see a TV production crew in your airline, what would you want to do?
Jason: Take the bags and run!
Gordon: Nope.
Chico: Sue?
Gordon: Sue!
Jason: Sue?

In this week's Haterade, Stella Mwanyika has sued 'The Amazing Race' for TWO MILLION DOLLARS for showing her face without permission. Huh?

Jason: Huh?
Gordon: I'm not saying she's a gold-digger....ok, Yes I am saying it.
Chico: Okay, this'll be dismissed harder than Dian Parkinson's case again Bob Barker for ... ummm... handing him his mic.
Gordon: Step up to the Mike...and let's go Global.
Chico: We've got the plane. Why not.
Jason: Lets go!

Let's go to Australia, where we see Bert Newton gain a yearlong contract with Nine to host a retrospective show... but lose his OWN show in the process.

Chico: Aussie Families... feud no longer.
Gordon: Awww.
Jason: Sorry Bert.
Chico: But you gave us a good run at least. We need to import that #1 answer idea.
Gordon: On a side note, Vas O No Vas has been yanked from Saturday nights, as they have been steamrolled by Sabado Gigante. They are now on Saturday Afternoons - and only an hour long. Can someone say burn-off?
Jason: El Burn-off.
Chico: ayiyiyiyiyiyiyiyiyi... inciendo es muy caliente.
Jason: Don Francisco is about as beloved or more as Bob Barker.
Chico: True dat, Block.
Gordon: How do you say Media Ho in Spanish?
Jason: Vida Guerra
Chico: Hi-yooooo
Gordon: ...I can't argue that.
Chico: *plays "Pimpin' All Over The World"* Someone made the bumper.
Gordon: In This Weeks Ho De La Media,...

Tamyra Gray heads to Broadway, Drew Lachey got on the Dancing With the Starsl 2 Tour, while John Ratzenberger gets cut, Ananda Lewis will be the host of America's Next Top Producer... Queer Eye's Ted Allen joins Top Chef 3, which will also be showing up in mid-June, Julianne Hough postpones her marriage... Bruce Forsythe and Vernon Kay team up to host Showdown, Amber Alchalabi returns to school, and Tom Bergeron takes to the Millionaire seat this week.

Jason: Looking forward to Tom's show this week...a portent of things to come?
Chico: I don't know. He also has work.. Good work. Granted, it's not easy making a mannequin talk week after week...
Gordon: Maybe - but none of them are your Ho of the Week
Jason: Who is it?
Gordon: We haven't spoken about them in a while - let's talk about Romber!
Jason: Aw!
Chico: Why the hell not. They're still there, right?
Gordon: Right. Rob Mariano promises a 100 Day Reality show, with the top prize being 10 million dollars. For all wanna-be hoes, auditions will start in June at a place to be announced. And those...are your hoes.
Jason: Do you think he can pull it off?
Gordon: If he gets a contract, why not?
Chico: And how's Sabotage doing, meanwhile? Heh. While we're on Racers, meanwhile, quick congrats to Eric & Danielle, who we called to win the Race... and they actually did! We're two for two this week! How 'bout that.
Jason: Yeah. But as soon that happened...splitsville.
Gordon: We are studly. More on that Studliness later on in the show. Lets see what studliness you viewers had for us. What 's the results of last week's poll?
Chico: Well, the top summer prospects.. with 28% each, none of them... and Camouflage. Then came Without Prejudice, Hell's Kitchen, and Pirate Master in that order. This week's question, G?
Gordon: In an earlier poll, we asked you who wins the Amazing Race. This week, we ask you...

[FrontPage Save Results Component] Who wins American Idol? Blake Jordin Melinda None of these, Sanjaya should've won!

Jason: LOL
Chico: And if you vote for that last one... we pity you. :-)
Gordon: That ends Brainvision. Shut it down
Chico: Done.
Gordon: When we come back, Court is in session and we look at some pretty pretty pictures
Jason: OOOH! Cool. Snaps is my favorite game.
Chico: This is We Love to Interrupt, serving the game show community interest since the current 5th Grader class were playing with Play-Doh.
Gordon: Do you know if they could create cheat sheets with Play -Doh?
Jason: Who knows...

(Brainvision is powered by How I Met Yo Momma... Wilmer Valderrama narrates the story of how he met the greatest trash talker in New York)

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