March 26, 2007

Chico: Today, an elimination, a rematch, and because we can... dancing!
Gordon: I can to the Macarena and Electric Slide - as well as the Haterade Hustle
Jason: In the words of Scissor Sisters...I don't feel like Dancing.
Chico: No sir? No dancing today?
Jason: Its just....I thought the American people were smart.
Gordon: The American People are smart. They just realize that they have better musical taste than Jason does.
Jason: Oh...it's on now
Chico: Hey, save some of that for later! But first...From somewhere in Smart America... We Love to Interrupt is on! Let's get right to it. American Idol. Stephanie Edwards... her elimination is shocking to some. To us.... not so much. Two things can be attributed to this.
Gordon: It should not be that shocking. Worst R&B singer in a pack of R&B singers.
Chico: 1) She's a ... yeah, what Gordon said. And two... she has no real large fanbase from early shows.
Gordon: Stephanie even admitted after the ejection that she should have selected music that separated her from the other women. Jordin is doing that. That's why she is striving when she should be in trouble.
Jason: So is Melinda. One did Broadway, one did Shirley Bassey.
Gordon: Exactly.
Chico: See, that's where the stars are separated from the rest of the pack. It all goes back to standing out, and Mega-Steph didn't. End result: she's just another soul singer in a season that has a glut of them.
Jason: I still want Sanjaya to go far :P
Gordon: As I said, America has different musical tastes than Jason
Chico: Jason likes to see little girls cry.
Gordon: And, may I add, the surge of votes for pro-Sanjaya...non existent.
Chico: Although one can argue that he's the most talked about contestant this year since a lady from New Jersey took pictures of herself on the toilet.
Jason: And both for not their talent.
Chico: So Stephanie's gone. No doubt this will help LaKisha, Melinda and Jordin, as if they needed the help.
Gordon: True - but lets look at the voting totals. If there was a 'surge' of new voters who are only voting thanks to Howard Stern's decree this season, you would think that there would be more votes than less, right?
Chico: Right, but that isn't the case. There's only "as many votes" as could be gotten through those two hours
Gordon: No it's not. Only a little over 30 million this year, versus 32 million last year
Jason: We did the stats.
Gordon: There's actually LESS votes this year, period.
Chico: 2 million votes this early is just enough to separate you between being safe and being in the bottom three. Ten singers left, we already saved three of them.
Gordon: But let's go back to who's in danger this week. I'll tell you who isn't going to be in trouble - Chris Richardson, who wound up in the bottom two. Did you hear all of that booing?
Chico: Oh yeah. Next week will be Chris' self-righting week.
Jason: Especially when you have pop week with Gwen Stefani.
Chico: Oy, that's gonna be fun to watch.
Jason: Gwen rules.
Chico: That still leaves six.
Gordon: Right. Now which 3 Idols fits right in the Gwen Stefani wheelhouse?
Chico: Haley.
Gordon: That would be one of the 3
Chico: and to a lesser extent, Gina.
Gordon: Gina would be two. One more.
Jason: It helps Sanjaya. To a point.

(BUZZ)

Gordon: It most certainly does not help Sanjaya.
Chico: Heh.
Gordon: Think logcially. Alternative Sound. From the West Coast area.
Chico: It helps our B-boy, Blake.

(DING!)

Gordon: There ya go. Don't forget that Gwen was alternative first, when she was with No Doubt. Her band was responsible for mainstreaming that sort of sound. Blake should have a field day.
Chico: So the people of great issue: Phil and Sanjaya. It would not surprise me in the least to see one of those two go next.
Gordon: The 3 people that I expect to founder on this sort of music - Chris Sligh, Phil and Sanjaya.
Jason: Oh I expect Phil to go this week.
Chico: Interesting thing about our three... First, Chris Sligh. He went to Bob Jones University, which is about as WASPY, non-rock as it gets... Reports came out that his alma mater is concerned that he's getting away from that. Will that affect his game? Probably not, but you know what I say, if there's even a hint of something amiss, there's something amiss.
Gordon: What hurts Sanjaya also is the Chris Richardson swing. You know his fans will vote for him, and I sense that him and Sanjaya same the same voting fan base. If Chris Richardson sings excellent, than Sanjaya may need a mountain of crying kids to save his fanny. The sympathy card works only once a season.
Chico: And so far, two people have cashed in. And Phil... well, he's just scary looking.
Gordon: Yes, but the difference is that Haley saved herself with an excellent performance to lead off the show. I am highly skeptical that Sanjaya can do the same.
Chico: If Sanjaya leads off poorly, chances are he's going home next.
Gordon: I think it's a coin flip between Phil and Sanjaya, but I think that the Chaos Theory points to Sanjaya as the one who's leaving next. I see a more relative link to Chris and Sanjaya's fan base than Chris and Phil. I would think that Phil shares his base more with Chris Sligh.
Jason: Do you think the Ashley Ferl's of the world are what AI is all about?
Gordon: Its a huge part of it. That have the text votes. How many times have either of you voted last week?
Jason: None.
Chico: Not a one. Me, I could give a rat's behind outside of the fantasy points standing who goes.
Gordon: So then, how can you say that the competition is not fair when you yourselves haven't voted?
Chico: See, there's where I have you. I never once said that this wasn't fair.
Gordon: its like saying that it's no fair that Marvin the Martian is the president of the U.S. if you didn't vote in the elections. And for the record, I DID vote last week - and so did Grandma Pepper.
Jason: Because, honestly. Because I am a person who does not believe the results in ANY reality show. even the shows I like.
Gordon: It's not their fault that you can't predict who goes home. I'll say this. Jason is usually pretty good at figuring this stuff out. Not this past week, though. But yes, its not who America wants, it who the AMERICAN VOTING PUBLIC wants.
Chico: And before that, I should add that if it weren't for the Ashley Perls of the world, the show wouldn't be as big as it is. Because you have to have a good show in order to push votes. And if the public likes to see people making a 13-year-old cry, then... there you go.
Gordon: Yes, and if the Public consists mostly of 10-12 year olds, then whoever sings the first Tele-tubby song will win. I want to see someone have the grapefruits to sing a Tele-tubby song.
Chico: I don't think it's on the song clearance list, G.
Gordon: The general public's history is that if you have the sympathy vote and don't sing well the next week, you're gone the week after. Even Scott Savol has had a number of good songs in his Wheelhouse.
Chico: Can we hold you to that?
Gordon: Sure could. once Idol 4 gets into Reality Rewind, you'll see that he sang a few songs well at the beginning of the sing-off stages. The wheels came off once they hit the Final 12 though. By The Way, in around 2-3 weeks on Reality Rewind - the ejection of Tamyra Gray. For anyone who is an Idol fan, that's required viewing.
Chico: That was the very first chaotic ejection.
Jason: (TM). You can't say Chaos without (TM)
Chico: Right. =p
Gordon: Point, Jason
Chico: Another thing Jason is good at... Time for the Jeopardy!... Monday, the rematch of last Friday's historic tie.
Jason: Which was a butt whipping.
Chico: Did Scott Weiss make a mistake in forcing a tie the match prior? ... yep.
Gordon: I disagree with that. He had the match won until the Final Jeopardy Question. he would have lost against anyone because he didn't know the answer. He had the game well in control.
Chico: I'm just saying in the grand scheme of things, he could've taken out his opponents and gone against greener players. I'm not saying that what he did was not kosher, I'm just of the mindset that if you can't change your fate, change someone else's.
Gordon: The greener players would have knocked him out as well.
Chico: See, we don't know whether or not that would've happened, but four-time champ, green opponents, nerves start to settle in. I mean, you have to have brass ones to keep a cool head in such circumstances. And it just so happened that Jamey Kirby had those brass ones.
Jason: No he had the right answer. No one else did.
Chico: ... okay, you're right (looking back on the game)... Scott had the game won.
Gordon: Jamey Kirby was outplayed. Jamey won because he had the right answer and Scott didn't. Replace Jamey with Nancy Zerg or anyone else who was the underdog.
Chico: But it's one of those unknown unknowns, how would Scott fare had he faced different opponents. Would he have done better? Would he have done worse? Would he have played the same? Can't say... because we don't know.
Gordon: Unless Scott was able to put the game away, he would have had the same results. The contestants may have changed, but the Final Jeopardy Question would have been the same and he still would have gotten it wrong. However, we had a variety of results on Dancing With the Stars.
Jason: Some good, some bad.
Chico: Most of which are expected for the first show. Surprising, really, because the dancers got less time to train with their partners. Previous seasons got started six weeks out. This one, only four. And in John Ratzenberger's case.. two.
Chico: But hey, 17 score, two weeks... not bad.
Gordon: 8th place, which puts him over the bottom three

16 - Clyde & Elena
15 - Leeza & Tony
13 - Billy Ray & Karina

Gordon: The Top 4 - No surprise - Joey Fatone, Laila Ali, Apollo Ono and Ian Ziering
Jason: Right. As we expected.
Chico: A known dancer, two athletes... and a guy who is lucky enough to be partnered with Cheryl Burke.
Jason: a/k/a Legs of Steel
Chico: Yeah, I'd say we had it down to a science there.
Gordon: But here's a mild one - Heather is in the middle of the pack, which, barring a disaster, will keep her safe for week #1. And Game Show's Fan Favorite, Shandi Finnessey, is in the Top 5
Chico: She'll be safe for another week. Should John play the 2-week card, he'll be safe.
Gordon: If Leeza gets knocked off early, Shandi could be there for awhile.
Jason: Yup. She would be the only TV personality.
Chico: Which means more Jessica York. Yay.
Gordon: Speaking of Call in and win shows...
Chico: We were?
Gordon: Jessica York = Call in and Win Show
Chico: Ah.
Gordon: But lets go to another one. Sidewinder time

SAF
YET
PIN

Gordon: What's the answer?
Chico: Is it nutella? =p
Gordon: Seriously, whats the answer?
Chico: No seriously, it's safety pin.
Gordon: Wrong
Jason: You mean saftey pin.
Gordon: Jason is right. Here's your hundred bucks.
Chico: I'll do you one better.
Jason: Thanks.
Chico: Unscramble the movie title before the host goes crazy....

030

Jason: 003?
Chico: No.
Gordon: 3000?
Chico: Wrong, wrong, wrong.
Gordon: Awww
Chico: Wackos. This is the part of the show where the host unbuttons his shirt and waves a sword around saying "I AM A SPARTAN!"
Jason: Uhhhh.....300?
Chico: You think?
Gordon: Was that a real puzzle?
Chico: That was a real puzzle. It made Best Week Ever this week.
Gordon: Well here's another one. Count the YoYo's

Y O Y O O Y
O Y O Y O O
Y O Y Y O Y
O Y O O Y O
O Y Y O Y O

Chico: Not the yoyos!
Jason: NOOOOOOOOOOOOOO
Gordon: Now here's the problem I have with this puzzle. First of all, every caller has guessed every answer in the book and it's been wrong. Second of all, it was a puzzle on Friday's Show. It went up to a $10,000 solve, then they...decided to bring the game back to Saturday's Show. Saturday they jacked it up to $10,000....then decided to bring it to Sunday's show, and a correct answer that was not said from anyone on the first two shows. I really hope for their sake that they have a correct answer that makes sense or they could be in deep trouble.
Chico: Nah, I think that's illegal, and if they were to even think about it, it would create a ripple so big that it could affect comparatively better shows... 100 Winners amongst them.
Jason: This could reek of British badness.
Gordon: It does reek of British Badness. How can you not have everyone call in and guess. You have people call in for a $10,000 jackpot - and then it goes down to a $250 solve. Of course, this show is on MyNetwork TV, so it shouldn't be too surprising that this is going on there, BUT when is this practice going to stop?
Chico: Well, I think I have this one. How many flagships are in the My Network TV fold? 10. That's hardly half the country.
Gordon: Yes, but it's in my part of the country.
Jason: Sorry this smells bad.
Chico: I'm going to have to side with the Block on this one. Granted this is a steady stream of income, but there are too many holes for it to be judged as fairly. So I don't see it stopping any time soon.
Jason: Um...isn't that what Gordon said too.
Chico: ... okay, well, perhaps I'm joining thoughts here. Perhaps the next British import should be one of those regulators. Like I see where you're coming from and I see where Gordon is coming from and I'm joining the two.
Jason: Got it
Chico: But now for something everyone can enjoy... well, everyone with two X-chromosomes. Two women... two briefcases... 26... firefighters?
Jason: A little man candy for the ladies,.
Gordon: You know what's funny about this? I was wondering why this hasn't been done sooner.
Jason: I agree with Gordon. This is a twist I like.
Gordon: The overwhelming majority of viewers who watch this show are females.
Chico: I think I have this one as well. What else was on that night?
Gordon: That would be 24
Chico: Okay, revised question. What else was on that night that draws the same demographic.

(crickets)

Chico: ABC... 8pm... Tom Bergeron's on it...
Gordon: America's Funniest Home Videos? Hollywood Squares Marathon?
Chico: ... I'm going to ignore that =p
Gordon: Ok. Seriously, yes, they have the stars on Dancing With The Stars to draw the demographic. However, if they were going for that, they missed the mark - brutally, as DWTS stomped on DOND. NBC should have saved the show for 2 weeks from now, where they could play the man candy card against the NCAA Finals.
Chico: Pretty much, yeah. But more on that later. Let's go to the tape right now...This was not only a two-case game, but it was a double deal board.
Gordon: And how did the ladies do?
Chico: It was about as painful to watch as, from what I heard, last night's VoNV. We just ended round 5, and with $1 million on the board, a $44,000 deal.
Gordon: I think Vas O No Vas was much more painful. Let's hear the DOND side.
Chico: The other values:

10, 50, 1500, 2000, 20,000, 50,000, 100K

Chico: Two bankers (against two twins)... offer $1800.
Gordon: I can top that. After Round 5, only 1 of the Top 9 amounts were still in play. To top it off, the amount left - 30,000
Jason: Ugly.

5, 10, 75, 200, 1,000, 1,250, 5,000, 30,000

Gordon: OFFER - $2,300. What did your round of 5 look like?
Chico: My round of five...

10, 50, 1500, 2000, 20,000

Gordon: My 5:

5, 75, 1,000, 1,250, 30,000.

OFFER - $4,100

Chico: Yeah, I think I have you beat in the suckout department.
Jason: (eats popcorn)
Gordon: We're not done yet. Round of 4:

5, 75, 1,250, 30,000.

OFFER - $5,400. Yours? (Plays Duelng Banjos theme)
Jason: LOL
Chico: 10, 50, 1500, 20,000.
Gordon: Offer?
Chico: With an offer of $3500
Gordon: What did your women do?
Chico: Then the 50 gets knocked off with a new offer of $6000. That's the final offer of the game. That was a DEAL.
Gordon: In my round...the $30,000 gets knocked off. 5, 75, 1,250. The player, Javier Rojas of NYC, walks off with $600.
Chico: .. okay, you win.
Jason: Yow.
Gordon: What did the women have?
Chico: $1500 and $20K
Gordon: Ouch. Not a good deal
Chico: Nope. All in all, a week we'd rather forget at the Endemol game show camp.
Gordon: But at least they walked with $6,000. My guy made a tenth of that.
Chico: Yeow. I need something to cheer me up. Let's DO THE NEWS!
Gordon: I have some good news on that front
Chico: What that be?
Gordon: The hamsters are winning the NCAA pool.
Jason: My bracket is so blown to hell.
Chico: Better than my bracket. I had Pitt over Ucla.
Jason: Should have listened to Fluffy.
Chico: So while my bracket is lining Fluffy's cage, we're going to Brainvision. ... Choppler is hot. Gordon, GO!
Gordon: Roll that Beautiful Brain Footage.

(Doug: Live, local, and latebreaking... From the four corners of the globe to your frontal lobe, this is WLTI Brainvision News, and now here's Gordon Pepper, Chico Alexander, and the award-winning Brainvision News Team)

Gordon: First article...

The banner year of Prime Time Game Shows continues, as ABC has renewed Dancing With The Stars, FOX adds 13 more shows to Are You Smarter Than a 5th Grader, and taping begins again for Deal Or No Deal, who apparently got orders for more shows to decorate May Sweeps with.

Chico: NBC doesn't have that much faith in "Thank God You're Here"?
Jason: No, they understand the golden goose of deal
Chico: That too. But remember, Millionaire was a golden goose as well.
Gordon: I think it's more of 'Oh poop, we need something for Sunday night after The Apprentice and grease go bye bye'.
Chico: Put a crappy drama on.
Gordon: Oh, and by the way...

Chico's FAVORITE show, The Bachelor, gets renewed for 2 more seasons of drama-filled and non-love-connection angst

Chico: Oh, die already, Bachelor.
Jason: Sorry...you need the silver bullets.
Chico: Prime time TV isn't the only place to see new...
Gordon: Do tell...

Bravo ordered up a pilot of "Paycheck" and "Top of the Table" & "Resistance" are looking this way as well. And CBS has ordered up "Power of 10" from Michael Davies.

Chico: Which is basically a high-stakes single player version of Family Feud. Paycheck is like Identity... with annual incomes. Top of the Tables is like 1 vs. 100 meets Jackpot... with 20 people. It's big in Belgium. Resistance...two people are faced increasing cash offers until one accepts a ridiculous proposition. It's currently airing in the UK, France, and Spain.
Gordon: We'll see more foreign imports coming up soon. Right now, though, it's time to air up some Haterade. I got another double shot this week.
Chico: Not far from a six pack, are we?
Jason: (drops two shot glasses) Fire it up

The National Organization of Women is hating on America's Next Top Model, for a very controversial photo shoot in this past week's episode that featured models killed off in various ways.

Chico: CSI: Runway.
Gordon: Pretty much.
Chico: "You are out... AND we're going to kill you!"
Jason: Your thoughts?
Chico: Let's put this in perspective... These are women competing to become models. Hardly a fall off of Title IX.
Jason: Ah. Hypocrisy.
Chico: Basically.
Gordon: I can see both side's points. The whole idea of Model is to get poses in all sorts of scenarios, and this is certainly one of them. At the same time, the shoot was pretty out there and maybe a 'portions of this goes to domestic women's shelters' could go a long way as to heal a rift there.
Chico: Maybe, but do you see that happening?
Jason: I don't.
Gordon: I could, actually. Tyra is a very positive influence on women everywhere, and she does have a talk show. I think it will hurt her image if she doesn't focus on this in some way, shape or form.
Chico: Oh, I have no doubt she'll address this SOMEHOW, but as to suggest the ultimate of silencers (that being the monetary kind)... won't happen.
Gordon: I don't think she will pay anyone to shut up. I think she may do something to alleviate the situation. What that is yet, I don't know, because Tyra has been very creative on this stuff in the past.
Chico: That can happen. Okay, second shot?

Speaking of Models, lets look at someone who has a major image problem - Janice Dickinson. Thanks to her behavior on the L.A. Fashion showm which included taking the seat of an organizer and sticking her foot in a vat of water reserved for beverages, Janice has been barred from all IMG based events - including Fashion Week in NYC

Jason: Tact has never been her strong suit.
Chico: So much for that whole making your mark on the industry thing she was working toward.
Gordon: Oh she made her mark. Too bad it came in the form of a red circle with a diagonal slash through it.
Chico: Point, Gordon.
Jason: (BUZZ) Your time is up.
Chico: With all this hating going on, we need some lovin'... Let's get loaded.
Jason: (HIC)
Chico: Last week, we had a letter from David Howell, a member of the e-mail family... he was asking about the single contest.

Well, in a teleconference from TV Week, EP Ken Warwick confirmed that plans for the coronation single contest were on hold while they concentrate on "Idol Gives Back".

Jason: Ok.
Chico: They still want to do it, but when exactly is left on the back burner.
Gordon: Or it could mean that the submissions are garbage and this is a nice way to sweep it all under the rug.
Jason: Could be. Like I said...anything a reality show producer says has a right to be questioned these days.
Chico: But it makes sense. After all, we haven't heard anything about the contest since episode 6. Hopefully we'll see where this goes. And if it doesn't... just take a coronation single from other versions. I nominate "Anything is Possible." Put a few guitar licks in it... and it's marketing genius.
Jason: lol
Gordon: Is that the one by Deborah Gibson?
Chico: Nope.
Gordon: Too bad . I liked that one.
Chico: Well... okay, we could do that.
Gordon: I prefer 'Dirty Laundry' by Don Henley, or...what's that song by Ludacris?
Chico: *plays "Area Codes"*
Jason: Can you imagine Sanjaya with a pimp cup?
Chico: ... Yes. Yes I can. He's already got the player hair.
Gordon: No Sanjaya this week, but we may get to that show for a different reason. Anyways...

In this week's Media Ho report, Taylor Hicks drops 22 pounds, We have new judges on American Inventor in the form of George Foreman, Pat Croce and Rebel Billionaire Runner-up Sarah Blakely...

Chico: And a new host. KGO reporter Nick Smith.

Brandy's role on America's Got Talent may be taken over by Sharon Osbourne, while Simon Cowell has to apologize for the way The X Factor dealt with recent firings... Chris Kattan will be the new host of Game Show In My Head, while Alex Trebek goes for a Jeopardy Contestant Search in Japan with the USO. Meanwhile, everyone turn it to VH1 right...about...now...

(After everyone watches the '300 Clip' on Best Week Ever)

Jason: Holy crap. My Games dumbness
Chico: yeah.
Gordon: Too bad they didn't get the safteypin clip in. And no, Courtney with a C, K or whatever isn't the Ho of the Week.
Chico: Let me guess... 13-year-old Ashley Ferl?
Gordon: Ashley personifies the true meaning of a media ho. Cry. Get on TV. Do the talk show circuit.
Chico: And all because she wanted to sit in the crowd of "Are You Smarter Than a 5th Grader?".
Jason: I have a lil problem calling a 13 yr old a ho...but she does fit.
Chico: Worked for Natalie Portman in "Leon, the Professional".
Gordon: So she was basically having a miserable time on Idol?
Chico: No, the story is... She wanted to be in the audience of 5th Grader for the dress rehearsal, and as an added bonus, she could either sit for the actual show or sit for the dress rehearsal of Idol. She chose Idol.
Jason: And she cried her eyes out at everything.
Chico: She cried during dress, Nigel and Ken took notice, they invited her to the real show front and center. The rest writes itself. And now she's our little media darling of the week.
Gordon: And so another one is born
Chico: That's how it starts, you know
Gordon: And then in 6 years she auditions for the show and we go full circle
Chico: And finally, on our weekly world trip...

How do you say "The Money or the Mob" in Italian? You'll find out soon enough as "1 vs. 100" has been sold to Italy.

Jason: Mob...Italy....the jokes just write itself.
Chico: Oh man... we're gonna get letters =p
Jason: Sorry "allegedly" write themselves
Chico: More like it. But yeah, we all love the 1 vs. 100... I'm hoping that NBC will officially bring it back for next season, but with their cost-cutting measure, it's almost a given.
Gordon: Especially since it has won its time slot on a weekly basis
Chico: Take THAT, Ghost Whisperer... and THAT! AND THAT! AND THAT!
Gordon: Is that what you call a spirited statement?
Chico: Oh but yes. Okay, that's it for Brainvision... Shut it down.
Jason: Good fluffy...I see she has GTown over UNC today.
Gordon: Yay, Fluffy!
Chico: I see she's about to get thumped in the bracket like the rest of us. Okay, game time is next with Trios and a twist in the Blame Game, but first... Last week we asked you who would take home the Emmy for Outstanding Game Show..
Gordon: 40% of you said...what did you think they said, Jason?
Jason: TPIR...what else? :P
Gordon: Very good. Jeopardy was right behind with 37%. So even though I think that this week's results are a no-brainer, I'll ask anyways...

[FrontPage Save Results Component] Who should win the Emmy for Outstanding Game Show Host? Bob Barker, The Price is Right Alex Trebek, Jeopardy! Meredith Vieira, Who Wants to Be a Millionaire? Pat Sajak, Wheel of Fortune Ben Bailey, Cash Cab Chico & Gordon, WLTI

Chico: Yeah, show the Emmy committee what's what =p Your results next week. Trios next. This is WLTI, celebrating five years of opinions given on little sleep.
Jason: zzzzzzzzzzzzz...what did you say?
Chico: Nothing, go back to bed.

(Brainvision is powered by Secret Identity. One person, 12 little known superheroes. Who knows their Captain Marvel from their Captain Planet? Find out Fridays...)

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