Episode 17.21
May 19

Gordon: Hey, Chico!
Chico: Hey, Gordon!
Gordon: Does all these million dollar cases, million dollar lyric sheets and model dresses lying around mean that it's a sweeps week?
Chico: Why yes, yes it does. And you know what that means.
Gordon: What does it mean?
Chico: We have a lot of wit and wisdom to impart... And we get brooms to do it!
Jason: (carries in brooms) I come prepared.
Gordon: Whoo-hoo. From somewhere in the May Sweeps Janitors closets, the part 1 of Million Dollar Sweeps month of WLTI...is...on!
Jason: WHOO-HOO!
Gordon: Gordon and Chico here, along with our pals Jason Block and Rob Seidelman.
Chico: Alrighty, friends... we have a lot to cover, so if you pay attention, you just might learn something..
Gordon: We start with the end of Survivor, as we get nothing but faves at the end.
Chico: Amanda vs. Parvati. We learn a hard lesson here... just because you can play the game, doesn't mean you can win it.
Jason: Right
Rob: Yup.
Gordon: You would think that Amanda had the game in the bag...until she opened up her mouth at Tribal Council
Chico: Yeah, she has a bad habit of doing that.
Rob: Didn't that also kill off Twila's chances a few seasons back?
Chico: Yep.
Gordon: Twila, Kelly Wigglesworth, and now Amanda...twice. When you get in front of the jury, sometimes it's not that one person wins it as much as another person loses it. You can certainly also add Lil as another person who gave the money away. In this case, Amanda was giving better arguments on why Parvati should win the money over her, and as a result, that's exactly what happened.
Jason: Whoops.
Chico: Yeah, you really shouldn't do that. I mean, I thought you were supposed to be selling yourself. I suppose, though, if you can lay the blame on one person causing Amanda to give the money to Parvati, it was Cirie, who ASKED that question to begin with. So congrats, Amanda, you just gave Parvati Shallow $1 million.
Jason: And now we move to Gabon with Survivor: Earth's Last Eden.
Chico: That'll be pretty in HD. Like HD Theatre... meets Fox Reality.
Jason: Survivor in HD...might need a new TV.
Gordon: Gabon...that's in Africa, isn't it?
Chico: Right. West Africa.
Jason: Jeff Probst didn't know that :)
Chico: He needed a map.
Gordon: So lets go a couple of degrees latitude and go downwards.
Chico: Okay... sounds like it's Deal time... in South Africa.
Rob: Why do I get the feeling I'm seeing Double Vision.
Gordon: It is - and we have...Two Howies?
Rob: I guess human cloning is real then.
Gordon: Yep. Looks like Super Howie
Chico: Ed Jordan's just a bald host with a dark suit. We've all been there, right?
Jason: Not me...at least not yet. ;)
Chico: But do we have super players?
Gordon: Um.....sort of.
Jason: Super Good...or Super bad?
Gordon: Super...wormy
Chico: Yummy.
Gordon: Your Deal Or No Deal got stuck in my Fear Factor.
Chico: Together it tastes like worms. But you know you like it like that, G.
Gordon: Love it. Our first contestant loves it to, as Alison Doheny has the shot to walk out with at least $10,000 if she can eat 5 of them.
Chico: And the result?
Gordon: She eats them. She makes $10,000, and she walks out with over $30,000+...which is a good deal considering that she had the penny case.
Chico: Very good deal indeed.
Jason: That's a great deal!
Rob: Yeah.
Chico: Did our second player fare any better? Rosalyn Sims? She didn't get to eat anything, did she?
Gordon: She didn't eat anything, but she walks out with $105,000, so she can order anything she wants.
Chico: First of all, Anya surprising Rosalyn...Nice. Rosalyn set a record in South Africa... R750,000. In her case... $50. That is a good day's work. $105,000 is also what the Jeopardy! college champ would also win... minus the 5000.
Jason: That was a great final...but I don't think Joey should have won.
Chico: Explain yourself, J.
Jason: Well the final J was gotten correctly by both Joey and Danielle. Danielle bet way too low. If she would have bet her whole stack, she wins. She bet only like $6000 or something.
Chico: Let's bring up the final, shall we?
Jason: Sure.
Chico: The category is Alliances...

The Quadruple Allliance began in 1813 against this country; in 1818 it let this country in & became the Quintuple Alliance.

Rob: What is France?
Jason: What is France?
Gordon: What is Sean, as he entered The Tagi Alliance of Richard, Kelly, Rudy and Susan?
Jason: LOL.
Gordon: Hey, Tagi needed help to defeat the Pagong empire.
Chico: First of all, Gordon... http://www.instantrimshot.com/ 
Gordon: Thank you. I'll be here all week.
Chico: Second of all, it is France. Third of all, Joey won it by $400. Danielle miscalculated somewhere.
Jason: Danielle should have won it.
Gordon: No she shouldn't have. She didn't add correctly. Part of being a Jeopardy champion is doing the math.
Chico: Absolutely.
Rob: Jeopardy is both general knowledge and math.
Gordon: So if you don't add correctly, you shouldn't win.
Chico: You have to figure what the best possible score is, or "the nuts"... for both games. Joey did that, and that's why he won. Danielle was a mite too conservative.
Gordon: I almost thought that Danielle bet to not lose, as if everyone gets it wrong, she wins.
Chico: The problem is, everyone DIDN'T get it wrong.
Gordon: And what happens when you bet to not lose?
Chico: Eventually, you do.
Gordon: Yep
Chico: It's like my sister says, "Bet everything or bet nothing."
Rob: And don't we see Joey in the TOC, whenever that comes along?
Chico: Correct, Rob.
Rob: A well deserved $100,000 win.
Gordon: Speaking of $100,000, that's what our final contestant on Don't Forget the Lyrics leaves with.
Chico: Diana Drake, an entrepreneur from Los Angeles, becomes the first person to take on the Million Dollar Song. Three rules go into effect here.
Gordon: Can I have a Big Board, please?
Chico: Sure.

Gordon: Subject: Changing the Rules of the Game.
Chico: Okay, the three addendums...

1) The song will always be a #1 song.
2) The song will fall under one of the nine categories in play for your stack.
C) If you DO decide to go for it, your milestone is bumped from $25,000 to $100,000.

Chico: A bit of a prize for having the balls to attempt it.
Gordon: So basically, you're risking $400,000 to win $900,000
Chico: Though this is the first show to do such a thing. It's an even split, and you really have NO reason not to do it.
Gordon: Actually, it's better than an even split. The laws of the game show book say with a 55% return on a 45% risk - you go for it.
Jason: Pretty much. I mean if you have a shot at $1,000,000 with a guaranteed 100K. I would.
Chico: That's what Diana does. So she's got $100,000 in the pocket... and on the board... "Blame It on The Rain" by Milli Vanilli. #1 for 2 weeks in 1989. Let me get my trusty mic here... Okay, Mr. Gordon Pepper and the Internet's Most Dangerous Band... hit me.

You said you didn't need her...
You told her goodbye...
You sacrificed a good love...
To satisfy your pride...
Now you wished that you should have her...
And you feel like such a fool, you....

Chico: (11 MISSING WORDS) Aaaaand backup singers?
Jason: I have No clue at all.
Gordon: I don't remember 'I have No clue at all.' as part of the lyrics (BUZZ)
Rob: Blame it on the rain, and the stars that shine through
Gordon: That's the chorus, but not the next line. (BUZZ) May I?
Jason: Sure
Gordon: ...Let Her Walk Away, Now It Just Don't Feel The Same
Chico: Right from the song. That's correct (DING)
Jason: WOW.
Chico: Gordon, if I ever audition for this, you're my backup.
Gordon: When you are born in a music background and your dad owns a night club, you get exposed to everything and you have to listen to every song that's played, whether you want to or not.
Jason: ROFL
Chico: Diana says... well, Rob pretty much had what Diana said. Now I will admit that I missed the line about "now it just don't feel the same".
Rob: Because that's the only part of the song that I know.
Chico: I went from "you let her walk away" to "Gotta blame it on something." Shame, really, because I grew up listening to that song. =p
Jason: Well, she misses and gets $100,000, but give her credit for going for it.
Rob: Not only that, didn't all Milli Vanilli stuff get pulled from Airwaves immediately after they were found out they were fakes?
Chico: Yep. It's a good song.. it's just that they weren't singing it. I heard them perform in Acapulco that year.
Jason: Didn't they walk off stage a few times when their "vocals" screwed up on the Club MTV tour that year?
Chico: That was on "Girl You Know It's True", though.
Jason: Still that was the beginning of the end.
Chico: Speaking of the beginning of the end, let's do a quick once-over of the two finales we have left. On Monday... we have part 1 of the Dancing finale with Kristi Yamaguchi, figure skater and Mrs. Bret Hedican... Jason Taylor, the football player of the year... and Cristian de la Fuente from CSI Miami. Notice I did not say Marissa Jaret Winokur.
Gordon: Finally.
Jason: She got bounced.
Gordon: Thrown out like a 6 month old fruitcake.
Rob: Didn't Jason Taylor get a lowball score on Monday's show?
Chico: Funny thing about her. If she lost 150 pounds of dead weight in the form of her partner... she might have stood a chance... But in the end, do we have the best three in the final?
Gordon: Honestly....no.
Chico: Who's missing?
Gordon: I hate to say this, but Marissa should be up there.
Jason: Say what?
Chico: Are you high?
Gordon: Either her or Shannon should be up there, and Christian should not be there.
Chico: I'll give you Shannon.
Jason: Christian is there because he got hurt. Sympathy vote totally.
Gordon: Exactly. hence, you do not have the best 3 people.
Chico: Exactly.
Rob: What are the odds that Christian wins the entire show?
Jason: Zero. Jason Taylor will.
Chico: It's essentially a two person race between Jason and Kristi.
Gordon: I think the judges will actually have an effect this time around.
Chico: As opposed to just giving it to the people in previous seasons?
Gordon: Yes actually. I think Jason will get the popular vote. I think he can not afford to be in last in the scores. If that happens, Kristy wins.
Chico: That said... congrats to Kristi for winning DWTS. She's clearly the favorite amongst the panels. But that's why we play the game.
Gordon: She is - but I think if Kristi is first and Jason is in second, then Jason wins. I think Christian should be happy with whatever third place wins.
Chico: This is going to be a little tight, as is the Tuesday final on that other biggest show in the known universe. As Syesha Mercado, after tripping on her own ego for the last two months, finally falls on her face. Setting up the David/David finale that was writ in the book of prophecy.
Gordon: I actually thought she was very good. The problem is she needed to be better than very good - she needed to be spectacular. What we got from her on Tuesday was clearly not spectacular. We already got Spectacular from both David Archuleta and David Cook from the past few weeks - And the problem with playing the 'get better as the season progresses' card is that sometimes you're just too far back to catch up. That's what happened this week. Both David Archuleta and David Cook came out like gangbusters starting from week 1 and they haven't faltered since. Can I have a Big Board?

Gordon: Subject: Season of firsts. A lot of 'First Time' occurrences have happened. For starters...1. This is the first time that neither person in the finals have been in the bottom 2 or 3.
Jason: Their fanbases have been LOYAL.
Gordon: So for whoever wins it, it will be the 4th straight year that the winner will not have been at the bottom for any time during the show (Carrie Underwood, Taylor Hicks and Jordin Sparks also never met the bottom). 2. Either a Rocker or a boy popper will win the competition. Neither a rocker or a boy popper have ever won - one of them will. The best either genre has been is second.
Rob: Clay being the Boy Popper and Bo being the guy that lost to Carrie Underwood.
Gordon: 3. NO R&B representation at all in these finals. Taylor carried the R & B in terms of Bluegrass soul. Here...no soul. Maybe with David, but that's not much.
Chico: Heh. Not that much.
Jason: Oh boy.
Chico: This is going to be a final unlike any other, methinks. But do we have the best two left?
Rob: Yes.
Gordon: Definitely
Jason: Without question.
Gordon: No question. and it may come down to the final song that determines the winner.
Rob: The Two Davids were the best of the bunch, and they proved it all season long. Others faltered at key moments. Can we say that this season was Chalk? Because the #1 Seed was in the finals.
Gordon: No we can't. The number one seed, going in, according to the internet junkies...was Michael Johns
Rob: I thought it was Archuletta.
Jason: No it wasn't.
Rob: Ok.
Gordon: And as for the other finalist, David Cook was on no one's map in the round of 24.
Chico: I haven't seen this case of two underdogs going for the title since season 1.
Jason: You call these guys "underdogs?"
Chico: They're not Michael Johns, are they? Heh.
Jason: Ok. Ok. But...who wins?
Chico: We'll get to that later. Trust me on this. Can we talk about Drew now?
Gordon: Lets talk about Drew
Chico: Okay. This week, the Million Dollar Game was Punch-a-Bunch. Top prize: $50,000. Get it on the first shot, and it's $1 million. So Gordon, Mr. 'Too Easy', did you think that was fair?
Gordon: 2% chance of winning. I say that's fair.
Chico: Deleshia... doesn't get it on the first shot. She gets $5000.
Rob: That's a fair consolation.
Jason: Very very very fair.
Chico: ... BUT she gives it up for $1000.
Rob: Oy.
Chico: ... and gives THAT up for $100 and a second chance... worth $500. So she ends up with $600. Out of a possible $1 million.
Gordon: And gives back $4,400 to the producers.
Rob: Greedy, Greedy, Greedy.
Chico: Damn.
Jason: Ouch.
Rob: There were only 4 slips higher than $5,000 3 $25k and the $50k slip. Once again, Greed at it's finest
Chico: I'd say that's fair.
Rob: Giving up $5k for a 1 in 12-13 chance at something better. Not worth it.
Chico: Yeah, not happening. Alas. But we have Showcases! First up, going Green...

A greenhouse with garden equipment, a Segway, a Saturn Vue hybrid & a Ford Escape Hybrid.

Chico: Bids up?
Rob: $60,000
Jason: I said $70,000.
Gordon: $70,369
Chico: Rob was the only one under. It was $60,619. Try this one. Life in Hollywood.
Rob: Man, I was close to winning a $1,000,000

a trip to New York City, a desktop computer, outdoor movie theatre, and a Cadillac.

Jason: The Cadillac is the XLR convertible.
Chico: Bids, please.
Jason: 95000
Rob: $88,000
Gordon: $80,069
Chico: Actual price... Eighty... ... eight thousand... ... four hundred thirty-nine. Rob would've won a million bucks. So that's it for the million dollar shows until next week. Now that that's over with... we have one more question... can a man with only one leg survive in Gladiator Arena... IF they turn off the Travelator some five minutes after the other guy finishes.
Jason: Huh?
Chico: This week's American Gladiators premiere had a guy with one leg compete. It didn't trip him up until the Eliminator.
Gordon: That would be a Paralympian
Chico: Right. John Siciliano
Rob: He went up against Gerry Garcia, a Special Ed Teacher.
Chico: Gerry ended up winning the round, but John finished the race at least, and that's to be admired.
Gordon: It is admirable, but I'm wondering if that's the best they can do in terms of people.
Chico: Well, it seems to me at least they are going for able contestants... that they can package. Because that's how you create a game show in 2008. Apparent-LY.
Jason: Of course.
Gordon: And then, if you do that - you get this...what was the ratings for the show, Chico?
Chico: Putting things into perspective. Dancing with the Stars scores a 11.5/18 in the 8p hour. That was followed by Bones with a 5.9/9. And the CBS sitcoms with 5.3/9.
Jason: And then?
Chico: Gladiators hour 1... 2.9/5.
Gordon: Yipes.
Chico: I have an interesting theory about that.
Jason: Go on.
Chico: They're pretty much against the wall with the Olympics in August. So we have no other choice but to go against May product. Hour 2 held steady, but was still fourth.
Gordon: Maybe - but you don't put a Summer Show up against May Sweeps Programming. I do agree that it will get better, but still...
Chico: That's pretty much a crap move on the peacock's part.
Jason: And we also still have the writer's strike hangover.
Rob: BTW, do we have the numbers from the repeat on Friday?
Chico: They weren't any better. They came in dead last at 8p and at 9p.
Jason: Oh boy.
Rob: Will NBC be trigger happy and pull it?
Gordon: No they wont. Too early to tell. Even if the numbers don't get better, they spent too much to yank the show. They'll burn the episodes out on Friday night.
Chico: This is what happens when you try and merge summer into the finale weeks.
Gordon: True, and the Hamsters are recreating Atlasphere.
Chico: Which one's Rocket? Probably the runt of the litter.
Jason: Oh...were the winners...gladiators?
Chico: The winners were Gladiators. Evan Dollard is now Rocket... Monica Carlson is now Jet... and Gordon is now Newsmaster. Or Doommaster. Let's go with Doommaster :-) Let's do the news, Doommaster.
Gordon: Roll that Beautiful Brain Footage...of Dooooom!!!!

(Doug: Live, local, and latebreaking... From the four corners of the globe to your frontal lobe, this is WLTI Brainvision News, and now here's Gordon Pepper, Chico Alexander, and the award-winning Brainvision News Team)

Chico: Thanks, Doug. Okay, first up, let's shine a green light on this...

Logo has greenlit a show that will search for the next great drag queen. It's called... "RuPaul's Drag Race".

Jason: Oh my goodness.
Chico: You know, it is possible for the sea of good ideas to thin out...
Rob: But then again, you're dealing with a channel that caters to the Drag Queens and others of the LGBT ilk. So, it fits.
Chico: True.
Jason: It's ok--niche for what it is.
Chico: But you can have a fit show that isn't that good. The two aren't mutually exclusive.
Gordon: Who wants to recap this?
Chico: I can't. Don't get the network.
Rob: I don't get the channel.
Jason: I do...but I'll pass.
Chico: Guess you're the guy, Gordon. :-) You're always the guy, aren't you?
Gordon: Vunderbar :P
Chico: Meanwhile, as I trade the light for the baseball bat...
Jason: Time for "The Business End"
Gordon: Here, before I brain myself with this (hands over the bat)
Chico: Onto the Business End.

Is this the end of the line for High Stakes Poker? AJ Benza is saying "could be", as GSN has not ordered any new episodes yet.

Chico: Here are a couple of factoids here... According to CardPlayer.com, Mori Eskandari, who helms Poker PROductions, says that just because they haven't ordered any new shows, doesn't mean they never will. 2) Filming for HSP usually takes place in the late spring... it has not taken place yet 3) AJ Benza says, and I quote...

"Apparently...the network is going to go in a different direction and that ain't good news for our show, especially since we skew a higher-aged audience. Never mind that we’re the network’s No. 1 show. Still and all, no one calls us from the network to say squat. Only Kevin Belinkoff checks in periodically, but it just don’t seem like good news. If you ask me...they’re treating us like (^_^). All we ever did was make them a bunch of money."

Gordon: The highest rated shows on GSN are the poker shows, right?
Chico: Yep. I think.
Gordon: So they won't renew the two highest shows they have. But they have no problem with giving us How Much is Enough and Bingo America?
Jason: Excellent.
Chico: Thank you, David Goldhill. Thank you for forgetting the boys.
Jason: Does GSN have ANY direction?
Chico: It seems like they're trying to cater to the middle-aged women audience.
Jason: Oh joy, oh melodious rapture.
Chico: I have a bit of a problem with that, being a young male adult aged 18-34.
Gordon: Last time I checked, its the male 18-34 demographic that's responsible for cash money. No offense to the ladies.
Jason: None to them.
Chico: Of course not.
Jason: When was the last time GSN actually had a focus or vision?
Chico: 2002.
Rob: Whammy, Russian Roulette, Friend or Foe and Lingo. Rich Cronin and Bob Boden era.
Jason: Pretty much.
Gordon: That's when they had ratings with a 1.0 or better
Rob: Right. Maybe if they bring back Whammy and Russian Roulette, they can get the audience back.
Chico: Yeah. Good luck with that.
Jason: Exactly.
Chico: Okay, Gordon. What's next?
Gordon: Next up - we have some dates.

This week - we have Season 4 of So You Think You Can Dance and Last Comic Standing. That's on Thursday. On Monday, we have....Chico's Faaaaaaaavorite Show, The Bachelorette.

Chico: If there is a silver lining, it's that Deanna Pappas is a looker. Big IF, though.
Gordon: Surprisingly, Chico isn't looking to run himself into a wall this week.
Jason: If he did that every time he heard of a dating show. He would break the helmet...or the wall.
Rob: My money's on the wall collapsing.
Chico: You dont' want me to break the wall, do you?
Jason: Nope.
Gordon: But this isn't just any dating show. This is a MIKE FLEISS dating show.
Chico: I know what you're trying to make me do.
Gordon: Maybe we can tempt Chico later to hit the wall. Maybe Chico needs to get Fully Loaded first.
Chico: Maybe.
Jason: Hic
Chico: Let's get loaded.

A new show on mun2, the network for Latin American youths, is touting interactive abilities. It's called "You Said What?" It's "pop culture powered by online polls".

Chico: So it's basically the Power of 10... on basic cable.
Jason: My favorite story of the upfronts was I can cook better than your mother in Law on Galavision
Chico: That was cute. We'll have more on upfronts next week.
Gordon: We will. But speakng of cooking...we have a lot of bad brew.
Chico: Haterade?
Gordon: Yes, but first...

Are You Smarter than...Top Chef's Andrew D'Ambrosi, who makes a number of mental mistakes that results in his packing up his knives and leaving the show.

Chico: Explain what's going on.
Gordon: Problem #1 - The challenge is to create a hearty and healthy lunch. According to the rules, you have to use 1 ingredient each from the following: Whole Grain, Protein, Fruit and Vegetable. Andrew decides to make a sushi lunch with nuts instead of rice. Last time I checked, nuts aren't grain.
Chico: No, nuts aren't grain.
Gordon: But that's not what gets him here. What gets him here is #2. He is dumb enough to tell Lisa that he didn't use grains in his dish. now Lisa winds up with Andrew and Spike in the bottom three, which means that she could be leaving the show. Now, she has this info that Andrew didn't follow the rules of this challenge. What do you think she's going to do with said info?
Rob: Exploit it.
Chico: Sing like a canary.
Jason: Spill the Grains, so to speak.
Gordon: Yes, yes, and yes. She tells the judges, who says that they knew about it - but according to the edit, it looked like it was news to them. As a result of their previous expulsions of contestants who didn't follow the rules, they have no choice but send Andrew out the door. So if you knew you screwed up, you're better off not telling people you screwed up.
Jason: Wow, they are tough.
Chico: They're gangster.
Gordon: The chefs...they've got sharp cleavers.
Jason: Oh boy.
Chico: How about Haterade with my lunch?
Jason: Serve it up.
Gordon: I've got a few shots.
Jason: Cool.
Gordon: And we start with an order of Sour Grapces
Jason: Sour Grape Haterade...who's serving?

#1: We start with America's Next Top Model, Fatima Siad, who came in third place to Whitney Thompson, America's First Full-figured Top Model. And when asked about it, she says this -

"When [Claire Unabia] and [Lauren Utter] and [Katarzyna Dolinska] got kicked off, I was just like this whole thing is a joke. They look like models. If this supposed to be a modeling competition, one of them should have won or [Anya Kop] should have won. But it goes to show you that it might be about politics."

Chico: Someone couldn't cut it.
Jason: So she's calling bias?
Gordon: She's calling pro-fat people bias
Jason: A-ha.
Gordon: Ironically, in an interview with Anya, who came in second, she says that Whitney should have won it and the judges made the right call. Go figure.
Chico: One word... Toccara.
Rob: Yeah, and she's got a great career.
Chico: Well, as great as one in her position can have. Take the Cake, anyone?
Rob: I see Take the Cake and raise you with Celebrity Fit Club.
Chico: I call. Next?
Gordon: Second shot...we know that The Upfronts are this week, right?
Chico: Right.
Gordon: And we know all of the shows that are getting renewed, right?
Chico: Right.
Gordon: Well, here are the ones that didn't get renewed and will now get eaten by the Game Show Zombie Stripper:

Hungry Zombie Stripper...munch, munch, munch...
ABC: Oprah's Big Give
CBS: Kid Nation, Power of 10, Secret Talent of the Stars
CW: Crowned, Pussycat Dolls Present...
FOX: Next Great American Band
NBC: 1 Vs. 100., Amne$ia, Clash of the Choirs, My Dad is Better Than Your Dad, The Singing Bee

Gordon: So for all of you people asking when these shows are going back on the air, the answer is...they aren't.
Jason: (plays Taps)
Rob: Is it wrong that I'm dancing because an Oprah show failed?
Chico: No. It's completely understandable.
Jason: It didn't fail. The ratings were decent enough to bring it back.
Chico: The kicker...ABC actually asked Oprah to create a second season. It's Oprah who turned them down.
Rob: I see. But, I just hate Oprah because she's over saturating her market. She needs to pull back the reins a bit.
Gordon: Yep. and we got one more shot.
Jason: #3 is...?
Gordon: This is actually a service for the general public.
Chico: Ooook.
Gordon: Financially, for most people, times are rough. It's hard to make ends meet.
Jason: Sure is.
Gordon: And this weekend, Prince Caspian is coming out, so all of the adults have to drag the kids out to see it.
Chico: True.
Gordon: And if you're going to take them to see this movie, you're going to have to take them to see the other 5 after this, as there are 7 stories in the Narnia Chronicles. And tickets, with food and drinks, is around $80 for a family of four. Not to mention subway tolls, gas, parking....
Rob: I think I know where this is going.
Chico: I know exactly where this is going.
Jason: Me too. Gordon...don't do this. :)
Gordon: So...don't look at it as Haterade. Look at it as I'm saving all of you more than $450 and a clinical bill to the psychiatrist for all of your little ones after the kids see the last movie and realize what a depressing downer the whole series of films are.
Chico: Oh no...

In the final book of the Chronicles of Narnia, The Last Battle, all of the kids except Susan stay in Narnia - forever - because they all get killed in a subway explosion. That's right. ALL OF THE NARNIA KIDS EXCEPT SUSAN DIE. The End.

Chico: ...
Jason: ...
Gordon: Hey, it's a recession. I just want everyone to save as much money as they can.
Jason: Technically it isn't. We haven't had 2 quarters of negative economic growth.
Gordon: Of course not. The oil and gas companies are preventing that.
Chico: We're going to get letters, you know.
Gordon: Now none of you have to see the rest of the movies. And shame on Disney for trying to make this a kiddie series when they all die. And don't try to revise history and make this a la Little Mermaid, either.
Jason: You mean The Little Mermaid dies?
Gordon: In the original story by Hans Christian Anderson, she does. Dead, dead, deadsky.
Chico: Okay. Before Gordon ruins the dreams of every child in the world, next story. We're going Global..

Let's go to Japan... where we've started taping on "I Survived a Japanese Game Show" AND where we're awaiting the results of how several Americans do on the Sasuke course on a new ep of Ninja Warrior Sunday.

Chico: These being the winners of G4's American Ninja Challenge 2.
Rob: I can easily see this show being repeated on G4.
Chico: Of course. Just need to know when.
Rob: Since, hey, the rest of their programming sucks.
Jason: Pretty much.
Chico: Umm... except for XPlay and reruns of Cheaters.
Rob: Ninja Warrior and Unbeatable Banzuke aside, of course.
Jason: Unbeatable Banzuke is amazing. Fun stuff.
Rob: Especially X-Play.
Chico: Oh yeah. I believe that's what we got as "Master of Champions" (I could be wrong... I probably am)
Gordon: So G4 sucks - except for half of their programming
Rob: Which is imported from Japan.
Chico: Let's import a couch. A big red couch.
Rob: Sounds good to me.
Chico: Though it's made proudly in America.
Gordon: yay. What do we got?
Chico: Well, Don't Forget the Lyrics is now casting online for season 3.

All you have to do is play the online game and video yourself doing it. And if the producers like you, you may play the game for real. The details are at fox.com/dontforget.

Chico: Wayne announced this during Thursday's show. Meanwhile, the train of "The Surreal Life" continues as a reject on "I Love New York" is looking for love on TV.

Lovers and fighters 21 and over who have more love than New York can apply to be on it, BUT you can only send one e-mail to your closest city.

If you're close to LA, your e-mail is vh1datingshowLA@mac.com
Chicago, Detroit, and NYC: vh1talent@sandradeecasting.com.
San Francisco/Houston/Atlanta: realityloveshow@gmail.com

Rob: If there's any good of time to pull back the reins on producing shows, it's definitely VH1. Enough shows like this. Enough of these cookie-cutter dating shows.
Chico: ... Enough of that. Let's get to the cookie-cutter hoes. *plays "Pimpin' All Over the World"*

Vanna White throws a baseball pitch, Wowoee's host no shows at a party in Hawaii, Justin Timberlake's 'The Phone' gets picked up by MTV, Simon is looking to replace American Idol's Ryan Seacrest with Ant and Dec...

Rob: I heard The Phone is supposed to be like Mission: Impossible. So, that intrigues me.
Gordon: That sounds fun. On the other hand, Ant and Dec...how did they do On World Idol again?
Jason: Who? :P
Chico: They weren't that bad. The show, on the other hand... =p

Ryan Seacrest gets a show for NBC, while April Scott is suing a Strip Club for the use of her likeness. Gordon Ramsay gets Kitchen Nightmares renewed for September.

Gordon: But none of them are your Ho of the Week.
Chico: Educate us, man.
Jason: Yes, please do.
Gordon: The ho is...Shayne Lamas, who not only wins The Bachelor, but who joins a family of hoes who have been in other amazing reality shows...like Are You Hot?
Rob: Wasn't that show dubbed Worst Show of 2003?
Gordon: That would be that show, Rob.
Chico: Are You Hot? ... with her DADDY?!
Gordon: (hands Chico the Helmet)
Chico: *puts on helmet* No, this deserves more than a wall run...
Jason: Uh oh.
Chico: If you'll excuse me.... *brains himself with the Business End baseball bat*
Jason: Hey! You'll hurt yourself! That's dangerous
Rob: He's wearing the Helmet.
Jason: Oh yeah.
Gordon: Not anymore. It split in half.
Chico: Dude, I broke it.
Gordon: And we get the entertainment for the masses. And those...are your hoes. And that's Brainvision. Shut it Down.
Jason: Shutting down.
Chico: Okay, that Brainvision couldn't have ended soon enough. Still to come, Gordon plays Monty Hall. But first... David vs. David... An epic battle on all fronts... and we're going to go through each and every one. This is We Love to Interrupt, and somewhere over the last 199 shows, we became Mike & Mike for the game show set.
Jason: So who is the fat obnoxious one?
Chico: ... Good question =p (looks at Gordon)
Jason: (looks at Gordon)
Rob: *looks at Gordon*
Gordon: Don't hate me because I'm...Beautiful.
Jason: ROFL

(Brainvision has been brought to you by So you Think You Can Bellydance. The Top 20 Bellydancers will cause excitement in the studios, and drool on your television sets.)

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