Episode 17.12
March 24

Gordon: This is Gordon Pepper, and before we start, Jason Block, Chico Alexander and myself would like to thank the very nice Casinos of Bally's, The Hilton and Trump-land, for letting us walk away with over $900 of their money.
Jason: $100....$200....$300. Yup all there.
Chico: Profit... still in my pants.
Jason: And the man to thank for a lot of it...Todd Newton.
Chico: I wish him a decent gig in the coming year.
Jason: Oh yeah.
Gordon: We have tried the Press Your Luck Community Slot Machine...and it is good.
Chico: We'll get into that story, but first... from somewhere in America, the "what the hell were we doing in Atlantic City" edition of WLTI... is... ON! What's good, it's your friend Chico Alexander, alongside Jason Block and Don Harpwood...
Jason: Yo.
Don: Oh, how I wish I could make such a trip...
Gordon: Well we did. We decided in honor of Jason Block's 40th Birthday, that we would do some battery charging in Atlantic City.
Jason: And I am thankful for it all!
Chico: The best bet down there... Bally's Wild Wild West Casino.
Jason: It was a major blast.
Chico: Good ambience. Decent table games...
Gordon: Cheap tables.
Jason: And we did so some research. There are still a lot of game show machines out there.
Don: Good to hear.
Gordon: Can I have a Big Board please?

Gordon: The Subject: High Gaming in Atlantic City. Let's see how many game shows we saw in AC, represented by Slot Machines
Chico: Jeopardy!... Wheel of Fortune... The Price is Right... Deal or No Deal...
Gordon: Hollywood Squares...
Jason: Press Your Luck...
Gordon: Match Game...
Chico: The Apprentice...
Jason: Shop Till You Drop
Chico: Ew?
Jason: Sorry ---it was there.
Gordon: It was. So was Password
Jason: The Dating Game... The $1,000,000 Pyramid... The World Poker Tour Poker Slots. There is a Survivor machine.
Gordon: Millionaire - aka. Regis's Cash Club
Chico: And then there was this fakey fake "Big Game Show" slot machine.. Complete with a fake Whammy..
Gordon: Which Jason blew $20 on.
Jason: Yeah, yeah, yeah.
Chico: BEWARE THE FALSE WHAMMY!
Jason: Ok
Gordon: So if you're a game show fan, and if you go gambling, there's lots of machines that you can satisfy your craving on. However, something we didn't find in Atlantic City - an American Idol slot machine
Jason: That would be fun.
Gordon: And you won't find Amanda Overmyer in either the machine or on the Top Ten Tour.
Chico: And you probably won't find the Beatles on there anymore either.
Jason: We can hope.
Gordon: Thank goodness.
Chico: Pretty sad when the elimination isn't the biggest Idol story this week.
Gordon: But Amanda, unfortunately, was the worst rocker in the group, and there were just simply too many rockers.
Chico: But yeah, we had a revisit of the Lennon/McCartney songbook.
Jason: With the Beatlers.
Chico: The pool of songs was diluted, and as a result, the talent suffered. In a week where everyone sucked to some degree... 1) The two Davids managed to suck less.: 2) Carly also managed to suck less, but found herself in the bottom three. 3) Amanda just sucked more.
Jason: Michael Johns should have been there. I love her attitude though...
Chico: 4) Kristy was giving a performance that said "Vote for my breasts."
Don: LOL
Gordon: Can I disagree with #2?
Chico: Disagree away.
Gordon: Carly didn't suck less and she deserved to be down there. The performance is not just what comes out of your mouth. It's also song selection, and she picked a terrible song.
Chico: Point taken.
Jason: Blackbird?
Chico: Hey, I like Blackbird.
Gordon: People didn't know the song, and you wont get people's votes that way.
Chico: Many people didn't know "Solitaire" when Clay Aiken sang it five years ago.
Gordon: There's a big difference. Clay sang it in late April, when he already had a mobilized fanbase. You don't sing an obscure song now, when you are trying to get a fanbase.
Jason: Agreed.
Gordon: It's a nice song, and it's pretty, but it doesn't get votes. And let's see...did Clay Aiken win?
Chico: He won by losing. Heh.
Jason: Maybe.
Chico: ... Again, point taken.
Gordon: See Mandisa.
Don: Good point.
Chico: Now to what happens next. We got rid of a popstar... and the popstars gained from that.
Gordon: Sure did. That helped the poppers stay out of the bottom
Chico: We got rid of a rocker... and the rockers stand to gain from this... We COULD get rid of the soul singers... except that they haven't really sucked out loud... Which brings me to... Kristy Lee Cook. Is there any way she survives this week?
Jason: Nope.
Gordon: No. Where will Amanda's vote go directly to?
Jason: David Cook.
Gordon: Wrong
Chico: Carly Smithson?
Gordon: The vote will go directly...to Carly Smithson. Only Rock Chick left.
Jason: Noted.
Chico: If you ask me, she's going to get a pretty hefty sampling. 1) She'll get a bottom three saver. 2) She'll get Amanda's votes.
Gordon: That takes her out of the bottom three, which will bring us 2 new people to play with Kristy (my money's on Ramiele and Michael Johns) and I don't see how she gets past either of them.
Chico: More established fan bases?
Jason: Yup.
Don: So, in other words, barring some kind of miracle, Kristy Lee has no chance this week?
Jason: Right
Chico: I got another bit for the Haterade stat column... When's the last time someone completely Plunko'ed in Plinko?
Jason: I don't know.
Gordon: I don't remember. Has it been done before this week?
Chico: Let's see.. Okay, according to a post on Golden-Road.net... the last time someone completely crapped out on Plinko was December 10, 2003. So we have one of those rare times that Gordon's actually wrong about something. =p
Gordon: But I'm not wrong about this - this is arguably the worst player in Plinko History. At least the person who zeroed out had 4 chips.
Chico: But perhaps what's even more damning about this particular playing of Plinko is this... I will be Drew Carey. Gordon, you will be Diane Proctor-Martinez...
Gordon: O! K! (jiggles)
Jason: oh boy
Chico: "Okay, Diane. The smoothie maker is not $71, but 7 is the first number in the price, or the 1 is the last number."
Gordon: The 7 is the last number, Drew! (Jiggles)
Jason: lol
Don: lol
Chico: "You're saying the 7 is the first number?"
Gordon: The 1 is the first number, Drew!
Jason: lol
Gordon: Imagine this going on for 5 minutes. Imagine Diane get 3 out of 4 wrong. Then imagine Diane asking if she gets a chip because she's likable.
Chico: Then imagine Drew saying no. Rather bluntly.
Gordon: So Diane gets 2 chips - and promptly puts both of them in the $0 column for a grand total of...$0.
Jason: (losing horns)
Chico: At least she gets an Eiffel Tower replica...
Jason: oh boy.
Don: Pretty much a disastrous playing.
Chico: Speaking of disastrous... How many of you saw VH1's premiere of "I Know My Kid's a Star"?
Don: Not me. Don't have that channel.
Chico: You would be one of the lucky ones, Don.
Jason: Uh no.
Gordon: (sheepishly raises hand)
Don: That bad, eh?
Gordon: Danny Bonaduce. Obnoxious kids. Vote to win American Juniors Clone. Oh. and Stage parents. Can't forget the stage parents.
Jason: Gotta love those.
Gordon: Can we just fail this and get it over with?
Chico: ... yes. Yes we can.
Jason: yes.
Gordon: This basically, is everything wrong with the musical talent process.
Chico: And with VH1 reality shows in general. America's Most Smartest Model being the exception, of course.
Jason: Pretty much.
Gordon: If you want a GOOD music show that isn't American Idol, go watch Objetivo Fama on Telefutura. It's actually on right now. If you want a good fight, then we may see one next Thursday, as Piers Morgan and Trace Adkins are the final 2 in Celebrity Apprentice.
Chico: Can we do a quick should/will, here? Should win: Piers. Will win: Trace.
Jason: Pretty much and not to have a set...but Donald...you are an idiot. It should have been Piers and Carol. But because YOU wanted this fight...you got it. Self-indulgent.
Chico: Because heaven help us when Donald puts game play over drama.
Gordon: If it was us, it would be Piers / Carol. If it's up to the interviewers, it's Carol / Trace. It's obvious that The Donald wanted a high profile USA Vs. the UK match up. Which means that there was really only 3 or 4 people who could have won this from the get go. Lame.
Chico: One of the game's biggest bastards vs. the guy who deserves to win. What can I say except: Donald, this is what killed the Apprentice the first time out.
Gordon: Any game will have problems when objectivity takes a back seat to subjectivity.
Chico: This is why I like something like Dancing with the Stars, which is pretty much ALL objective and ALL new this week.
Jason: And all Dancing.
Gordon: uhhh...that was dancing?
Jason: An attempt?
Chico: The ladies... yes. The gents... not so much.
Gordon: That looked more like plodding with the stars. I mean you know they are going to get passes because it's week #1, but some of that was brutal. and I was really disappointed with Monica Seles.
Chico: I on the other hand was most disappointed with Penn Jillette's feet and Adam Carolla's hands.
Gordon: I'll put Jillette right under Seles. It was like he almost mailed it in.
Chico: The trick at the end, although cute... didn't do much for me.
Jason: What was the trick?
Gordon: As for Carolla - I can't be disappointed with something I thought was going to tank to begin with.
Chico: Pulling a bouquet out of nowhere.
Jason: ok
Chico: Suffice it to say, Julianne Hough will not pick up the hat trick. But we will pick up the news, once our Hamsters stop bragging about their brackets.
Jason: Don't even go there.
Gordon: (rips up brackets)
Jason: My bracket is so blown
Chico: Cheeseball had Shredded Paper State to win.
Gordon: And it still may. I have Roll That Beautiful Brain Footage U.

(Doug: Live, local, and latebreaking... From the four corners of the globe to your frontal lobe, this is WLTI Brainvision News, and now here's Gordon Pepper, Chico Alexander, and the award-winning Brainvision News Team)

Chico: Thanks, Doug. First up, Gordon?
Gordon: I've got my Datebook open, and it figures that we've been in Atlantic City...

This Monday - The World Poker Tour. This is the best programming that GSN has picked up in a VERY long time. Please watch.

Jason: Not that we really need to tell you...but do so.
Chico: Yep. They need your love. They need your support. They need your moneys.
Gordon: Giiiive Meeee Your Moneeeeeeeey
Jason: Pretty much
Gordon: Sorry. Had an Atlantic City Flashback.
Chico: Heh.
Gordon: Next one?
Chico: Next, let's go global.
Jason: Passport at the ready

First to Canada, where their version of Discovery Channel gets the go-ahead to air game shows. Critics see this move as a cheap inroute to import Cash Cab.

Jason: Very cool if you ask me.
Don: If that is the reason, then I don't mind.
Chico: Didn't think you would.
Don: I've been wanting to watch Cash Cab for a while.
Gordon: Agreed. Very very cool

From there, we go to Australia, where the folks behind Australian Idol are looking for ex-patriot Australians in the UK and the US to sing in the next season.

Jason: Interesting.
Chico: See, while the Idol franchise is a big hit after seven years here... In Australia.... not so much.
Jason: Wow...ok
Chico: So after seeing the success of Michael Johns, they decide to pack up and look for Australian talent on both sides of the Atlantic. This is what you call a shark-jumping moment. I am going to pull a Gordon here and suggest that there is no way that the Australian people are going to vote for an idol bred elsewhere.
Jason: Oh yeah
Gordon: And I agree with that. All you're going to get, with Australians coming in from abroad, is fodder.
Jason: Pretty much
Chico: And Dicko's going to be back in the US peddling Next Great American Band 2. Which we all don't want to see happen. Heh. Next?
Jason: Next...
Gordon: Next - now you now the 3 of us were pretty smart in Atlantic City this weekend, right?
Jason: Yup.
Gordon: I got 3 people who...weren't so smart.
Jason: Bring it on
Gordon: Are You Smarter Than...

1) Diane Proctor-Martinez, who turned Plinko into stinko?
2) ...the average Crosswords Contestant, who once again has to deal with Clues A La Mensa?

Gordon: Big Board Please?

Gordon: Subject: A return to Professor Pepper's Vocabulary Class.
Jason: (hands you the mortarboard hat)
Gordon: We start with an easy one...Assay
Chico: Easy. I perform assays every day. Test?
Gordon: You would be...wrong (BUZZ) To assay is to judge the quality of. Chico was close enough with test. Next up...Loris.
Chico: Loris is a city in SC.
Jason: Don't know
Don: No clue.
Gordon: The city would be...wrong (BUZZ) A loris is a mammal with oversized eyes. Next one...Nota Bene
Chico: "Good Note" in Italian?
Jason: What you say when you like something in Italy.
Don: I've heard the term before, but I can't remember where...
Gordon: That would be...wrong (BUZZ). It means 'To Take Notice' in Italian. Next one...Tesla
Don: A type of coil?
Chico: scientist Nikola?
Gordon: Jason?
Jason: A unit of electrical energy.
Gordon: Jason is...correct, and it was named after Nikola Tesla, so Chico is correct, too. Next one...Sterno
Jason: A small can of fuel used for heating
Gordon: Chico / Don?
Don: ... I can't think of anything.
Chico: ... nah, I got nothing
Gordon: Jason is...Correct. Sterno is a gas used for camping. Next up...Elemi
Jason: I got nothing.
Chico: WE GET IT!
Don: I've never even seen that word before.
Gordon: Elemi is an ingredient in Varnish. And Finally...Nacre
Chico: Nacre is a composite material found in shells also known as mother of pearl. Can we PLEASE move on?
Gordon: Now how in the world is the normal person going to enjoy themselves trying to get answers like that?
Jason: My head hurts.
Don: Mine, too.
Gordon: Ok. We'll get to something less cerebral...like panties. You all like panties?
Jason: Underwear...uh yeah...on my Girlfriend.
Gordon: Are you smarter than...

3) Stacey Elze, who thought it would be a smart idea to give Matt Grant her panties - while he was talking to a different girl - and while she was drunk out of her skull.

Don: Yipes.
Jason: Big Brother 9?
Gordon: The Bachelor. And no, she didn't survive the cut.
Chico: Love. Ain't it grand?
Jason: Oh. My. Goodness.
Gordon: Who wants some Haterade? And sorry, panties are not included.
Jason: Does it get served by a hot cocktail waitress?
Gordon: Does Lysette Gonzalez count?
Jason: Maybe.

Lysette, a cocktail Waitress gets booted from The Moment of Truth after saying that she never slept with anyone to move ahead - and it was deemed a FALSE response.

Chico: Whoops.
Jason: Karma is a b***h.
Don: You got that right.
Gordon: But that's not the only thing that gets booted.

Survivor moves to Wednesday thanks to the NCAA Tournament - where it gets the second lowest ratings ever. As a result, Survivor will NOT be airing next Wednesday.

Chico: Probably would've aired the clip show anyway.
Jason: Pretty much.
Gordon: True. next?
Chico: Next up, a new subset in the Business End entitled... They Greenlit THAT?!
Gordon: Yay!
Jason: Thought of as we were walking on the boardwalk.
Chico: True.

NBC has given the go-ahead to a pilot for a show called "Chopping Block", starring UK Hell's Kitchen's (second) host Marco Pierre White. Would be chefs compete in Top Chef type challenges to win a bid for their own restaurant.

Chico: Sounds a lot like "Last Restaurant Standing" on BBC America.
Gordon: Clone, anyone?
Chico: A Dolly show. Wow.
Jason: Very much
Chico: Now to more business-related news...

CBS is adding ANOTHER season of Big Brother this summer.

Gordon: Blech.
Jason: Egads!
Don: Sounds like overkill...
Jason: Do they learn their lesson...ever?
Chico: No. 2008 was just a mistake year for Big Brother.
Jason: Racists, Bigots and Morons...oh my!
Chico: I've been holding off saying this... but it's time for Big Brother to die.
Gordon: Which it ain't going to do just yet
Chico: Just my opinion.
Gordon: Opinion noted. But if they cancel it, what do we put on the Casting Couch?
Chico: How about a new game from the fine folks at TV Land?
Gordon: Lets hear it.

It's called "What's in the Box"? It's basically 20 Questions.... on TV.
http://www.realitywanted.com/call/2354-whats-in-the-box-now-casting

Jason: Interesting.
Gordon: We've seen that before. Any other programming?
Chico: not that I can think of. You?
Gordon: no - so we'll play what Media Ho is in the box?
Chico: (plays "Pimpin' All Over the World")

In This Week's Media Ho Report, Cheryl Burke and Drew Lachey deny reports of an affair, Danny Noriega goes on a cruise with Rosie O'Donnell, Monty Hall could be the new Mayor of Hollywood, Vicki Lawrence writes a new book, Chris Tarrant gets a gig in the form of 'It's Not What You Know', and Paul Scofield of the movie "Quiz Show" passes away at the age of 86.

(silence)

Gordon: But none of them are your ho of the week... or should I say - Hoes. Idol Gives Back has been announced, and here's who we've got on it so far - Maroon 5, Heart, Gloria Estefan, Boyz II Men, The Clark Brothers, Bono, Brad Pitt, Reese Witherspoon, Eli Manning, Carrie Underwood, John Legend and Snoop Dogg. Now here's a trivia question - of all those people, which ones have been part of a game show?
Jason: Brad Pitt.
Gordon: Brad Pitt?
Jason: Dating Game or something
Chico: Yeah, but... Brad Pitt? Give me Boyz II Men... Carrie Underwood counts I'm sure.
Gordon: (DING) BIIMen were just on Don't Forget the Lyrics (DING)
Jason: right.
Gordon: The Clark Brothers won The Next Great American Band. And Snoop Dogg was supposed to be the guest judge on Star Search - until he got busted for pot.
Jason: Oh yeah.
Chico: Probably for the best.
Gordon: And those...are your hoes.
Jason: Oh yeah
Chico: And finally... we get Fully Loaded.
Jason: Hic.

The Playcafe is opening soon. Imaging a live game show on your computer... That's PlayCafe, which is being bankrolled by a former Endemol and CBS exec.

Chico: Sounds pretty killer, doesn't it?
Jason: Way Killer.
Don: Sounds cool.
Jason: I have hope after this story for the interactive genre.
Gordon: And some of us on GSNN are working for it - PLUG PLUG PLUG
Jason: Really?
Gordon: Really and truly
Jason: Very cool.
Gordon: Ands that's Brainvision. Shut it Down

(Shutting down)

Jason: I hate when the Hamsters rub it in with the bracket. Look at them high five.
Chico: So what do we have next, G?
Gordon: Next we'll be figuring out percentages and playing with wigs, but first, the result of last week's question...Chico?
Chico: Yeah, about that... we don't have any.
Gordon: system still no worky?
Chico: ya
Gordon: we'll bring back the interactive stuff once we get the system to work. This is WLTI, the place where we introduce the singing gamblers. More games after the break.
Jason: Singing Gamblers...fun for ALMOST everyone...and you know who you are.

(Brought to you by Violin Hero. Are you the next Yo-Yo Ma? The next Eugene Fodor? The next Charlie Daniels at least? Find out in this new game)

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