Episode 17.16
April 21

Chico: Howdy hey, it's Chico... and in my world, there are no small winners... only small shows. And there are also big winners... and big shows. A little oxymoronic, but that's the way we roll around here.
Gordon: Are you going to break out your 'It's a Wonderful World' Broadway medley again?
Chico: No, but I will sing the song from the Discovery Channel's "The World is Just Awesome" spot. If you want.
Gordon: (Puts in earplugs) Go ahead.
Chico: *starts*... I forgot it.. Oh well, it's on the YouTube. Go see it. Best commercial this week. Meanwhile, from somewhere in America, the "Please don't pass us over" edition of WLTI... is... on!
Gordon: As we celebrate Passover, we also celebrate the small TV shows passing out the big green - starting with a tidbit we need to talk about from last week.
Chico: That of course, being from GSN's Bingo America... John Stefan is a soldier who likes boy band pop. He can afford to get all the boy band pop he wants to now. He becomes the FIRST person on Bingo America to take the Bingo Bonus Board for one hundred...
Gordon: thoooooooosaaaaaand dollars.
Chico: Very nice, G.
Gordon: (channeling my inner Charlie O'Donnell)
Chico: Again, very nice. Congratulations to him. Also worthy of our love... Niki...How long did it take you to get your car, Gordon?
Gordon: Well, I walked up to the guy who put the car up on sale, and I bought it. I didn't win it on a game show.
Chico: Yeah... I kinda did the same thing. How many people do you know were able to win a car in three days? On Temptation, that is.
Gordon: Niki is now the second person to win it in 3 days.
Chico: And she did it by not succumbing to the traps and tricks laid out by the Temptation brass. That is, a) buying everything in sight and b) not spending too much on Instant Money T$44 for $2500, the CHANCE no less? Forget about it. Chocolates? So sorry.
Gordon: Well, she picked up a few things, but she didn't go overboard and do anything stupid. She also cleanied up in Super Knock Off.
Chico: That's the way you play the game. So she gets a Volvo (a very reliant automobile)... John gets $100 grand... and Ali Vincent becomes the first female winner of "The Biggest Loser"... Winning the $250,000 prize that goes along with. This was just a week of winners, wasn't it?
Gordon: Sorry, I'm not as thrilled on this last winner. One thing I despise is 'The Second Chance Return'.
Chico: She was the vote-back?
Gordon: She was voted off. Then the show brought back 2 people - the man and women with the most weight loss of all the people voted off. That would be Mark and Ali - who both made the finals.
Chico: But I understand where you're coming from. America likes... favorites. Ability to play the game be damned.
Gordon: When you vote someone off, you don't expect them to come back. Especially in a social game, where they can come and screw everything up.
Chico: We've learned this from many a season of Big Brother.
Gordon: It's what cost Matt on Big Brother. And it may have cost Roger, who would have won it if not for Ali.
Chico: I can see that. See, Roger never got a vote against him. He was there to play the game.
Gordon: And he would have won it, if not for those meddling producers, and their dog, too (if they had a dog). So congratulations to Ali, who won $250,000* on the Biggest Loser.
Chico: Woof. Speaking of Biggest Losers... I wonder if Kristy Lee Cook can get her horse back.
Gordon: Wait a sec, I found her horse!
Chico: In a bowl next to your dog?
Gordon: Close... (pulls out a bottle of Elmer's Glue). Here it is!
Chico: Be kind, man.
Gordon: Me? Kind? You're kidding, right?
Chico: But yeah, Kristy Lee Cook... She goes away. And all it took was a crappy performance of an obscure Mariah Carey song.
Gordon: So the week after the Chaos Theory, we usually get rid of the person who is the worst singer left.
Chico: And all is right with the world.
Gordon: It was painful to listen to.
Chico: Oh yeah. The ladies were generally painful. The guys on the other hand, and I certainly wasn't expecting this... They were a breath of fresh air.
Gordon: Could we see a final male 3?
Chico: Archuleta, Cook, and Jason? The first two, definitely. There has to be a female there to offset the balance, and I think Syesha's going to fit the bill.
Gordon: David Archuleta's performance I was expecting. David Cook did a nice job with 'Always Be My Baby' and Jason Castro took us to a musical luau that I think the audience liked more than the judges.
Chico: I thought Jason was alright, myself.
Gordon: I didn't think he was as bad as what the judges thought.
Chico: Not even close. Then again, he's got some leg work ahead of him if he wants to challenge the two Davids for the crown. As far as I'm concerned... there's David Archuleta... David Cook... and the other four. And they're all doing Broadway next week. Joy.
Gordon: Actually, it depends on what's available. Archuleta should have no problems whatsoever. I'm sure Dream the Impossible Dream is up there somewhere. Andrew Lloyd Webber is the mentor, and there's plenty of Webber material.
Chico: It's perfect for him... which means that he's not going to pick it. I'm willing to bet dollars to doughnuts that he picks something from "Jesus Christ Superstar"
Gordon: I think Cook and Castro could struggle on this one, and I think Carly could be brutal
Chico: You're calling it now?
Gordon: I will, actually. I think this week's show will be a giant trainwreck.
Chico: Trainwreck-a-comin.
Gordon: and Carly will be gone.
Chico: You think Ozzy's game was a trainwreck this week?
Gordon: Actually, no. I think the problem is that everyone knew that if he gets to the finals, he wins. And the result is a blindside of all blindsides, since even Ozzy thought he had the game in control.
Chico: Agreed. Ozzy's definitely one of the strongest IF not the strongest. This was the way to play it... for once. Get the strong one out now before he can do any damage.
Gordon: It was the right move for the sub-5 who voted him off. It was the right move for the women. The men are now an endangered species - but it may not have been the right move for the faves, as they are now at even strength with the fans.
Chico: And you know what the kicker was? Ozzy had the hidden Idol, and didn't use it.
Gordon: Ozzy, meet James.
Chico: What's up with THAT mess?
Gordon: Pride cometh before a falleth
Chico: Thud. You think this vote will save Jason from being the last of the guys to be voted out? Because, you know, he was the swing.
Gordon: It could be. It's an interesting dichotomy/sub dichotomy, 5 women to 3 guys.
Chico: Interesting indeed.
Gordon: Of the 5 women, 3 are favorites, and 2 are fans. So we're looking at an Amanda/Parvati/Cirie final 3.
Chico: I'd vote for anyone but Amanda there. She had her moment in the sun.
Gordon: The ladies should be targeting Erik to go out next.
Chico: Unless he wins immunity... yeah, that's not happening any time soon.
Gordon: or James, but they should actually keep him around just in case the fans decide to vote out the favorites.
Chico: Another interesting turn. This could get interesting rather quickly. Do the girls turn on the guys? Do the faves turn on the fans? Is it all messed up? Stay tuned..
Gordon: Or we could see the 5 person block of Cirie, Alexis, Jason, Natalie and Parvati be a unit, as they voted out Ozzy.
Chico: Yes we could.
Gordon: Which would be a brutal strategy for Cirie, because then it would be 3-2 Fans.
Chico: You still think it'll be split between James and Erik then?
Gordon: I do.
Chico: Alright. I'll hold you to that one.
Gordon: The dichotomy makes this interesting, but James and Erik are not in either major group, and that spells trouble.
Chico: It also makes the perfect plan unless one of them gets running Immunity (it has happened) One wins Immunity, take out the other one. The Idol will be a major factor in the next round.
Gordon: Yes it will. Did any new shows become a major factor this week?
Chico: You decide. We have two. Both musically inclined, but only one is worth watching. We'll start with the crappy one first. VH1's Miss Rap Supreme. After the superb job that egoTrip did with "The White Rapper Show", I had high hopes.. After all, MC Serch was pretty on point with that show. Not so with this one, but I blame the contestants, which reminded me of a hip-hopera version of "Flavor of Love". ... You can only imagine how icky that made me feel.
Gordon: It's a problem when gameplay is sacrificed for drama and what the producers feel is 'must-see television'.
Chico: If there is a silver lining to all of this... it's that it doesn't take itself too seriously. You remember the beauty pageants of the late 70s, early 80s with all of the mechanical stop motion dealies?
Gordon: Or maybe that's their way of saying 'Ok, we didn't get the talent we wanted, so let's make this drama-filled and maybe people will forget that we have no talent.'
Chico: I've heard them... not happening.
Gordon: How many of them have talent? Let's be honest here.
Chico: There's having talent, and having potential. Right now.. NONE of them have talent.

	egotrip's MISS RAP SUPREME - VH1
	CHICO	GORDON	AVERAGE-O-MATIC
	F	F	F

Gordon: I'll agree with zero, which is what I'll give the show. F.
Chico: I'll go with the F on this one, if only for having my expectations dashed so hard. I mean, "The White Rapper Show"... that was watchable.. and actually enjoyable.
Gordon: Says you. I hated that one.
Chico: Well, different strokes, I guess. Meanwhile over on CMT, we have "Can You Duet", the second show to come out of FremantleMedia's Idol mold this month (the first being "Rock the Cradle"... which I'll actually start covering sooner or later). The premise of Can You Duet is simple.. we're looking for country's next duo... Conway & Loretta... Porter & Dolly... Big & Rich... You get the picture.
Gordon: I do.
Chico: But yeah, we have perennial judge Naomi Judd alongside Brett Manning and Aimee Mayo. Naomi was on Star Search, which makes her semi-qualified. Brett Manning's a vocal coach, and Aimee Mayo wrote "Amazed" by Lonestar. And playing the role of Seacrest on this show... Rossi Morreale. Okay, points going for this show... 1) It's from the same people who did Idol and Rock the Cradle so expect them to know what they're doing.
Gordon: You would think
Chico: 2) This is more in line with what Rossi should be doing, given his background (he's from Arkansas...... you know, in case Temptation doesn't work out. HEH! See... because we still don't know if the show is coming back next year... that's the ... yeah, it's not funny if I have to explain it =p
Gordon: ...no. No it isn't. Next point?
Chico: ... well, that's it. Other than that, it's "nothing you haven't seen before". Auditions. Some good. Some bad. Some just painful. If there is a silver lining to the "nothing you haven't seen before", it's that the judges will be doing the cutting instead of you and I.
Gordon: It's Idol goes country. That is what it is. Not wonderful, not awful. Just...is.

	CAN YOU DUET - CMT
	CHICO	GORDON	AVERAGE-O-MATIC
	C	C	C

Chico: Because, as you've proven for six years now... you don't know what you want. It has its bright spots. It has its not-so-bright spots... Must watch for diehard country fans. For the rest of us... Meh. C. Is "meh" even a word we can use?
Gordon: I'll use it. Meh. C.
Chico: Cool. So now you can grade how college students play Deal or No Deal...And yes, feel free to use "meh". We start College Week with Kerrine Bratty, who comes from UMD.
Gordon: Meh.
Chico: Wait till I give you the board of six, dude
Gordon: So, what happens?

1 / 50 / 100 / 50K / 100K / 500K

Chico: The offer... $76,000. Had the net. Went on.
Gordon: Limited safety net. Meh.
Chico: Next case... 50. $98,000 the offer. And a chance for her brother to date a model. Me, I'd take it... and given the choice... #4. But yeah, no deal there either. Next case... 500,000. Offer drops to 27,000.
Gordon: waa waa waaaaa
Chico: Still has a padding of two bigger than the offer so... no deal.
Gordon: No safety net though
Chico: No. But a pad. Now comes one she wanted to pick earlier... 100. That bumps the offer to ... $50,000. That's a deal. Take it and run. Kerrine did just that. Her case... had the dollar.
Gordon: You have to at that point. Limited gain, vs. a huge drop
Chico: Right-o. Next, Brian Rovanpera from UCSB is left with...

5 / 400 / 500 / 25K / 50K / 1M

Chico: Offer: $95,000. Could possibly push it one more, but yeah, that's walking money for a Venusian player. A martian player would push it for one more.
Gordon: Not a big safety net. I could see it go either way.
Chico: Next case... 5. Next offer.. $167,000. That is walking money. Big drop if the next case is the million. In Brian's case... $500.
Gordon: you lose $112,000 if you find it.
Chico: Oh yeah.
Gordon: At least - and thats only if you go all the way. Good move to stop.
Chico: Meanwhile on Wednesday's show, we have frat brothers playing!
Gordon: Meh.
Chico: You weren't into the whole frat thing either? Would've pledged the music frat if I had to do it over again, =p
Gordon: I was 100% Frat Free in college.
Chico: Meanwhile, here's the six we're working with... after we just knocked out the million.

200 / 400 / 1000 / 10K / 25K / 500K

Chico: Offer: $43,000.
Gordon: Zero safety net
Chico: No safety net, and no padding. But still, you can give that up for the chance at ten times that. So no deal there. Next case... $1000. Next offer... $66,000. Still not big enough to make a question of risk, so... no deal. Next case... $10,000.
Chico: Next offer is a two-parter... one, a guaranteed $98,000. two... whatever they can find from a bottom of an oatmeal pool (this is why we were frat free in college). They pull out another $30,000 for a total deal of $128,000. I'd walk after that, especially given the board.
Gordon: You sort of have to take it
Chico: Oh yeah.
Gordon: better than the ratio offered.
Chico: You don't want to run the risk of getting rid of $500K
Gordon: you kiss over 100K good bye if you do that
Chico: Right. The case had... $500. They could've had $229,000, but we're not faulting them for playing their gut here. Any night where you can take a profit of over $100,000 from the banker... is a good night.
Gordon: A 6 digit deal is always a nice way to walk off the show
Chico: Okay, walk it off, buddy. Speaking of college, the hamsters are back from Spring Break. They brought you a Geeks Gone Wild shirt. It's a good shirt.
Gordon: Did they bring back the Choppler in one piece?
Chico: Well, they might've locked Eve in her cage. ... she is menacing.
Gordon: Eve's the producer. Of course she's going to be menacing
Chico: Luckily, Eve's not the kind of cat to hold a grudge... I hope not... we'll see in a bit. Okay, Mr. Gordon... there's the camera. You know what to do.
Gordon: Roll Thet Beautiful Brain Footage

(Doug: Live, local, and latebreaking... From the four corners of the globe to your frontal lobe, this is WLTI Brainvision News, and now here's Gordon Pepper, Chico Alexander, and the award-winning Brainvision News Team)

Chico: Thanks, Doug. First up... let's play with baseball bats.
Gordon: With or without HGH?
Chico: Without. We're clean around here.
Gordon: Awww (puts vials away)
Chico: First of all, we shine the green light on CBS.

The summer schedule is OUT. Big Brother will be back (Why?!). Joining them will be Greatest American Dog, Million Dollar Password, and Jingles.

Chico: Greatest American Dog's premise... speaks for itself.
Gordon: WHy is big Brother coming back this quickly? Cheap programming, lots of internet webhits, and because of the strike, an almost bare cupboard right now.
Chico: Million Dollar Password... also speaks for itself (personally, I can't wait to see how they manage to screw it up). And Jingles have regular people... writing jingles. It's a Mark Burnett joint
Gordon: Burnett has had 2 straight stinkers. He would probably want a hit to get off the schneid. However, I don't see this is it.
Chico: But it could be cute. Not a hit, but cute. Or annoying. Depends on the jingle.
Gordon: I think the problem is that the show could be too sophisticated and 'inside' to catch on with the masses.
Chico: We'll just have to wait on this one. Meanwhile, as we take another swing...

IMG and Andrew Glassman's Glassman Media are teaming up for more projects. Their first project together will be Bingo America...

Gordon: More Bingo, daddy?
Chico: We just got past half of season 1. Let's not talk about renewals until we see the amount of GSN downloads yet. But hey, if they ALMOST renewed National Bingo Night... then this HAS to have a chance... right?
Gordon: I'm confident there will be a season 2. You don't just crash a cable TV web site and not have it take notice.
Chico: This is true. This is one of those things where a bad thing can be good... in the long run, that is. Look at Playmania.
Gordon: It was great for GSN when it lasted. The daytime counterpart is getting some nice reviews as well.
Chico: Right and understandable. Combining the new with the old. Kinda like GSN goes full circle.
Gordon: True - and you can say that with Date Books, too
Chico: Got mine. Got yours?
Gordon: Got mine. And we got this...

Now you can vote for the next Deal or No Deal Model. Starting on April 21, you will vote on the women that you want to see be the new model. This goes on for 8 episodes.

Chico: I'll tell you right now, we have at least two repeat offenders in the crowd. Big Board, please.

Chico: This one's called "America's Next Top Case Model".
Gordon: Lets hear them.
Chico: Alrighty. First up...Tami Donaldson... Former Card Sharks dealer
Chico: Ick.
Gordon: What's so ick about that?
Chico: Liked Tami. Hated Card Sharks.
Gordon: Which version of CS?
Chico: 2001
Gordon: Ah. Ick.
Chico: Ick.
Gordon: It's not just Meh. It's Ick.
Chico: Next... Lisa Byrnes from "America's Most Smartest Model". AMSM... definitely not "ick". Interesting connection with this next one... Casey Durkin was in "The Dukes of Hazzard: the Beginning" with another case model... April Scott.
Gordon: Interesting. Speaking of actresses, almost all of these models have at least one credit on imdb.com Including movies like...ahem...Harry Potter in the Hood
Chico: .... WHA?!
Gordon: Miki Black was one of 'Harry's Hotties'
Chico: I'll do you another better. Krista Coyle was a contestant on "Next Action Star".
Gordon: Ick.
Chico: Double Ick.
Gordon: She didn't stick around for long
Chico: ... no.
Gordon: FYI - The winner of the show - the movie they starred in was the last credit for male winner Sean Carrington. Oops.
Chico: Oh dear.
Gordon: Corrine Van Ryck De Groot, the female winner, got up to 2006.
Chico: Good for her.
Gordon: Next?
Chico: Next... let's get loaded. This also counts as a global ... and a casting couch!

Canadian Idol is auditioning for its next season... online.

Gordon: ...huh?

Just video your tryout and upload it to idol.ctv.ca. You'll have to go through the same rounds that a person-to-person audition would go through, that is, two groups of producers before the judges. If you're going to do it, you better get on it, because the deadline is April 25.

Gordon: So basically, if you can get a video and doctor or lip sync up your voice, you can cut through a line to audition?
Chico: Yeah, you can. BUT if you do cheat, and they don't catch you... you'll be caught eventually. After all, that's what hell week is for...
Gordon: Can I also nominate this for Are You Smarter Than?
Chico: And ... judges? (DING!) Done. It's just the news gift that keeps on giving.
Gordon: Actually, I have something worse.
Chico: Let's hear it.
Gordon: And we haven't picked on this show in a while, so...

Are You Smarter Than...Hell's Kitchen's Jason and Petrozza, who both have been called up for forgetting their menu of food they are supposed to be cooking.

Gordon: So explain this to me. how exactly can you be in a kitchen cooking and ready to go if you don't know what exactly you're cooking?
Chico: umm.. you can't.
Gordon: Petrozza is still inexplicably still on the show. Jason, who was going to quit soon anyways, got booted by Ramsay in this past episode.
Chico: I still stand by my assertion that this is probably the worst crew Gordon has ever had.
Gordon: Its pretty bad - but very entertaining
Chico: I didn't say it wasn't entertaining I just said they were bad.
Gordon: But speaking of Bad...I have 2 shots of Haterade this week.
Chico: Serve.
Gordon: Serving #1...

Remember Secret Talents of the Stars? ABC, seeing this, cancelled Circus of the Stars, after thinking that the public doesn't want to see this sort of stuff. NBC, however, still has Celebrity Circus planned for June.

Chico: I have a theory about that... it has mostly to do with casting congestion.
Gordon: Congestion - or lack of star power. Either or, it's still better off not being on our TV sets. #2...

Top Design 2 is coming back. Todd Oldham is also coming back - but not as host, as the universally panned performance got him demoted to mentor. India Hicks will be hosting instead.

Chico: Moral of the story: if you're a reality show on Bravo, and you want to get any modicum of attention... go with a model as host.
Gordon: It got attention - that was the problem. The 1.2 million was the highest debut in Bravo's history.
Chico: Yeah. Too many people. Not enough hosting chops. Bravo's the Knicks. Todd's Isiah.
Gordon: Exactly. But we never have enough casting couches
Chico: Right on. First up, if you're into dancing... we have... another dancing show.

If you’re 25 years to 40 years of age and love to dance no matter how good you are, then prove it by submitting a photo of yourself, contact info, occupation and why you think you are a great dancer then we will schedule you in for an audition.
http://www.realitywanted.com/call/2465-new-dance-game-show-now-casting

Chico: But wait! There's more!
Gordon: Moooore?
Chico: MTV Tr3s is planning ... another dancing show! So much dancing..

Applicants to BUST A RITMO should appear to be between the ages of 18 and 24, live in the Los Angeles Area, and speak both Spanish and English. Most importantly, we’re looking for someone that has a great, unique goal or story – and wants to share it with MTV Tr3s viewers through the power of dance!
http://www.realitywanted.com/call/2120-mtv-tr3s-bust-a-ritmo-now-casting

Chico: Wait... there's MORE!
Gordon: Mooooooooooore?
Chico: Mooooooooooo (wait for it....) oooooooore.

America's Best Dance Crew 2 is now casting. If you think you can take the JabbaWockeez to school, here's the link
http://www.realitywanted.com/call/2411-americas-best-dance-crew-season-2-now-casting

Chico: We can't dance unless a DDR pad is involved, but we can sing... Ahem... "The fancy cars... the women and the caviar... They know who we are... 'cause we're pimpin' all over the world..."
Gordon: You mean the Media hoes?
Chico: I mean the media hoes.

In this week's hodometer, Bob Barker gets honored at a NAB show, Survivor Yul Kwon gets engaged, Vicki Lawrence goes on tour... Wayne Brady finalizes his divorce, Kristy Lee Cook gets engaged, Mario Lopez is in the cast of A Chorus Line for Dancing With the Stars' 100th episode... Howie gets another TV deal from NBC, and President George Bush will appear in an upcoming episode of Deal or No Deal.

Gordon: But none of them are the hoes of the week.
Chico: Can't wait to hear this one. Go get'em.
Gordon: The ho is..Merv Griffin, who gets inducted into the Television Hall of Fame. This is well-deserved.
Chico: Salute! Next up, who's up for a trip to the Philippines?
Gordon: Sure

Okay, three reasons why the islands are in Global. 1) Survivor. 2) Fear Factor. 3) Deal or No Deal. The first two have just been licensed overseas. The third... Howie and local host Kris Aquino will team for an upcoming edition.

Gordon: Global synergy
Chico: Wonderful, isn't it?
Gordon: Very nice. And that's Brainvision. Shut it down
Chico: Alrighty. Next up, the doctor is in... over his head. This is We Love to Interrupt... we only got four segments to save the world...

(Brainvision is brought to you by Viva Jersey! Contestants compete to become the next 80s music video icon... nevermind that this is 2008 and hair isn't nearly as big anymore)

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