Gordon: Hi. This is Gordon Pepper. I have a message for all of you media people who have just decided that now would be a good time to talk about American Idol's singer's contracts.
Jason: And that message is?
Gordon: Where have you been for the past 6 years, when we were discussing that Kelly Clarkson had a contract before Idol?
Chico: They were busy harping on Rich Hatch being a vetty vetty bad boy.
Gordon: Welcome to the party. You're all a little late, so you guys can sit over by the doggie door.
Chico: And get me some salsa... trying to get this dip over here.
Jason: I am eating the crackers and cheese...and they are bringing the whine.
Chico: And speaking of tasteless... from somewhere in America, the big bad tournament edition of WLTI... is... ON!
Gordon: Yay!
Chico: He's Gordon Pepper. I'm Chico Alexander.
Jason: and I am Jason Block
Chico: Glad to have you as always.
Jason: Thank you.
Chico: Okay, as usual, we have a lot of ground to cover, and not a lot of time, so let's start... at a finish. Last night was the brawl for it all at Gladiator Arena.
Gordon: If you were looking for something new to add to it because it was a 2 hour finale, you're in the wrong spot. If you're looking for 2 hour strike induced filler, then you found the right place to be.
Chico: You were hoping for another event to make it seven events?
Gordon: I was hoping for a show that at the end I wouldn't be sitting and going 'gee, they could have made it an hour long instead'
Chico: That's the rule now. If it's on NBC for 2 hours, then half of it is filler.
Gordon: And we know when a show isn't working when we have a 'regular' finale
Jason: Right.
Chico: Define a regular finale.
Gordon: 1 Hour normal nuts and bolts finish. Though if you really wanted a finale to cut to the chase, you could just have it done, press announcement style. Wouldn't it be fun to have Ryan Seacrest at 8pm come over to a podium and announce the winner at 8:15?
Chico: ... no.
Jason: Not at all.
Chico: So that's a regular finale.
Jason: Pretty much
Chico: Now that we know THAT, let's talk what happened...Seems like Evan Dollard ... red guy... he was going for speed the whole season through. He gets 9.5 seconds in the Eliminator before Alex... blue guy... is let loose. Could've given him 9 milliseconds and he would've smoked Alex.
Gordon: Yeah. The only shot Alex had was to get a lead going into the Eliminator. If you asked me, the real men's final was Evan's semi-final match.
Chico: And even that was no contest. Final time in the final, a record 1:19.
Gordon: True - which is why they played that final first, just to get it out of the way. The ladies final was much more compelling, but Monica, who had the lead going in, holds on.
Jason: That was a fun eliminator
Chico: Give us a rundown, G.
Gordon: Monica had a 3.5 second lead - which she lost on the cargo net to Shanay. However, the endurance really came into play on the barrel roll and hand bike. Also some strategy, as Monica just said the heck with the hand bike. That turned out to be well-played, because Shenay struggled with it even more, which gave Monica an advantage on the Pyramid that she never gave up. She got up the Travelator in one shot and she wins it.
Chico: So congrats to Evan Dollard and Monica Carlson, winners of $100,000, a new Toyota Sequoia, and a CHANCE, still a chance, mind you, to come back this summer as a new Gladiator.
Jason: Why a chance? Just asking
Gordon: If the casting coordinators like you
Jason: Ah yes.
Jason: I think Monica would be more of one to be honest
Chico: Really, because I thought Evan had the balls of one.
Gordon: Keep in mind that they could be Gladiators if you stuck them in events that you don't need to be Gladiator-Like in - like Hit and Run or Assault. I could be a Gladiator in either of those events.
Chico: Especially in Assault, what with your razor-sharp aim and what not.
Gordon: Only to be matched by my Razor sharp wit.
Jason: Sort of lol
Chico: Ready to put your razor sharp wit to the test?
Jason: Sure.
Chico: Good. Because we move to the Idol top 24. Any surprises?
Jason: Honestly NONE. Everyone who I thought would be there would be.
Gordon: Actually, I am pleasantly surprised by people who aren't there that I thought would be.
Jason: Such as Mr. Josiah Leming.
Chico: Kyle Ensley and Josiah Leming?
Gordon: Pretty much. Can I get on the soap box?
Jason: Here.
Jason: (hands you soap box)
Chico: *starts playing "Battle Hymn of the Republic"*
Gordon: (gets on soapbox). People of America. You can't seem to make up your minds. These are the best 24 singers that they have (or at least the top 20. We haven't heard 4 of them). You made fun of Idol because of Sanjaya. We sacrificed personality for music. Now you're unhappy because Carly and others have had music contracts. Uh people...Kelly Clarkson, before going on the show, had a music contract. So did Bo Bice, Chris Daughtry, and others. Lisa Tucker was on Star Search and no one complained about that. So your argument on 'oh they have a contract' means nothing. Finally, for all of you who say 'well people shouldn't have another chance, because they failed once - Why don't you ask the Giants if coach Tom Coughlin should have had a second chance after Jacksonville. The argument is completely asinine.
Chico: Putting it short... Shut up and enjoy the damn show.
Jason: May I have a bit of the soapbox too sir?
Gordon: This is a show to find the best singer in America. It never was an amateur talent show. So for all of you people who are trying to pick on the show because you hate it when things are successful, or if you're jealous that you are not good enough. SHUT UP. Ok. I'm off the soap box (Steps off the box)
Jason: (gets on) And to all the people who want to beg and plead that Josiah should have been on...because of his plight. THIS SHOW ISN'T QUEEN FOR A DAY.
Jason: He wasn't that good, folks.
Gordon: He wasn't that good. Let me add that he would have been the next Sanjaya if he got on.
Jason: And with all due respect to him, he wasn't emotionally ready for it.
Gordon: Agreed.
Chico: If I may have a turn now?
Jason: Sure. *steps off*
Chico: (gets on soap box) This is a preemptive warning. If you have grown a less-than-healthy attachment to your favorite singer... vote for him. Or her. If you don't, they go home. And then you complain. And then I and the rest of America know how big of a tool you are. And we have to deal with it.
Gordon: Every week, we get letters of people complaining that American Idol is fixed because (insert name here) got voted off.
Chico: So don't give me any of those "oh, the lines were busy", "I don't have an AT&T phone." Baloney. Keep trying. Because if I have to deal with your candy ass whining in the round of 7... I just might LOSE IT!
Gordon: And we don't want him to lose it. We like him here. He gives us good candy.
Chico: ... Okay, now that we've all gotten some rant time. Let's break it down here.
Gordon: Weeeee

Chico: I got the top 24 right here, gents.. http://www.gameshownewsnet.com/prime/idol7/ref_idol7.html
Jason: Looking
Chico: Out of the 24 contestants in the Idol Class of 2007...Only eight of them are Southerners (we're not counting Michael, who hails from Australia). Only four of them are over 25. Only about 9 have some degree of semi-pro experience.
Gordon: and around 75% have some sort of media ho experience
Chico: Needless to say, this is a group that everyone can enjoy.
Gordon: It feels like it's a veteran group, despite the young ages. That should make for better performances
Jason: Agreed.
Chico: And we won't know the full range of their musical acumen until this week, so I'm going to hold off on that. I mean, Robin Thicke proved that you can have a white soul singer.
Jason: It all depends on the performances.
Chico: Gonna be an interesting time at it.
Gordon: Can I have a Big Board Please?

Gordon: Subject - American Idol Coming Out Party - Tips on what to do - and what NOT to do on Day #1.
Jason: Ah yes.
Gordon: Rule #1: Find a great song and sing it. This sounds almost like 'duh', but the choice of song tonight is crucial. You need to take something and drive it out of the park.
Chico: This will set the tone.
Jason: Because you need to make yourself NOTICED.
Chico: Especially if you're one of the four or five who got ZERO credits in the early auditions. I refer to Luke Menard.
Jason: right
Gordon: You need to get a base of people who will vote for you. If You're Luke Menard, and if you sing something that is not memorable on Tuesday, you are going home on Thursday.
Chico: You need to come out with something that'll set you apart. (But in the right way, which means ... for the love of God, put shoes on)
Gordon: #2: Don't be boring.
Chico: That goes hand-in-hand with #1, I think, because if you're boring, again, you're not noticed. You're trying to get people to like you.
Gordon: If you're good, people will vote because they like you. If you're bad, people will vote to save you because you're in trouble or because you're the new candidate for Vote For The Worst. If you're bland, that spells trouble.
Chico: Rally your troops if you have to. Just don't do anything... Outlandish...Dancing here... would be bad. Even worse if you have no rhythm.
Jason: Just sing . Sing well
Gordon: #3: The idiocy was for the Opening Auditions. Goofy dancing and what not may get you through a round or two, but you will not win the competition - and that's sort of the point of this.
Chico: Three words: Just sing, baby.
Gordon: #4: Do NOT argue with the judges
Jason: The 2nd biggest mistake you can make.
Chico: They have more pull than even THEY realize. See... If you're good, they're going to call you on it. If you're bad... they're going to call you even HARDER on it.
Gordon: America, for the most part, agrees with them. Take what they have to say in stride and work on what they tell you. On the same note, don't talk back to Ryan Seacrest either. That's sure eviction. Ask Vanessa Olivares and Brenna Gathers about that. Finally...#5. It's all about song selection
Chico: Play to your strengths.
Gordon: Sing something we haven't heard 35,000 times.
Chico: Play to your fanbase.
Gordon: But sing it well
Chico: Add your own LITTLE twinge on it. The Power Note that Shook the Heavens saved many a performance. (see Clarkson, Kelly, "Natural Woman")
Gordon: Make it your own
Jason: May I add...DON'T FORGET THE LYRICS.
Chico: That's another show, J. :-)
Jason: I know...but that fact has killed many a contender.
Gordon: The most recent ones being Haley Scarnatto (who never fully recovered) and Brandon Rogers (who never had a chance to recover)
Chico: Brandon Rogers.. that was painful. But just remember to have fun... It's just another stage. Nothing intimidating about it there should be.
Jason: We wish you ALL good luck and great performances.
Chico: We look forward to seeing what you got.
Gordon: And I think we'll have a lot of fun watching them this week.
Chico: Another thing we look forward to... the J! Teen Tournament.
Gordon: Did you have fun watching 15 teens this week?
Chico: LOTS of fun. In true tradition, let's go over the lineups for this week to see who's got a better shot at glory than the others.
Jason: Especially Monday's game. HO-lee-cow.
Chico: Couldn't have said it better myself. I was speechless. I think I had Zia to win the whole shebang after that game.
Jason: He still is my favorite. That was one of the most dominant performance EVER.
Chico: Better than... dare I say it... Ken Jennings?
Jason: Yes. That was pure domination.
Chico: Yep. That's how you play the Jeopardy!. Okay, are you guys ready for the lineups?
Jason: Yup.
Chico: Heeeeeeere they are.

Monday game: Melissa Luttmann, Will Casper, Rachel Cooke.

Jason: Can you give who did what each day?
Chico: Yes I can. Melissa - Tuesday wild card. Will - Wednesday wild card. Rachel won it in the Final on Friday. BUT she trailed going in.
Jason: I say Melissa on a coin flip.
Chico: I'm going to go with Melissa, she's stronger than Will is in the front game, and she has the math skills to get it done and poppin.
Gordon: I'm going to say Rachel.
Chico: Next...

Tuesday game: Zia Choudhury, Hunter Brown, and Katie Gill.

Chico: Katie and Zia won their games, but Zia took his competitors to the cleaners.
Jason: Zia is my fav to win the whole thing.
Chico: Agreed.
Gordon: Gotta say Zia

Wednesday game: Rachel Horn, Naren Tallapragada, Todd Faulkenberry.

Chico: Two strong wild cards vs. an equally strong champ. I'm going to go with Rachel on this one.
Jason: Rachel is the champ?
Chico: Rachel won Tuesday's game, yes.
Jason: I go with that. But Zia is taking it.
Gordon: I'm going to say Rachel as well. But I'll go with Zia to win the whole thing
Chico: Okay, the final match... whoever vs. Zia vs. whoever.
Gordon: Zia
Jason: Zia
Chico: If Rachel H. makes final, then it may be interesting to watch. But still, Zia is the one to beat.
Jason: And if he plays like that...he could win the whole TofC.
Gordon: And now that we've said that, congratulations to Evil Dick for winning the Jeopardy Teen Tournament
Chico: YAY!
Jason: Yup!
Gordon: (Unless it's American Idol, we don't do too good in studio game show predictions) (Though we do have a better football post-season prediction record than ESPN)
Chico: Do you predict that we're going to see yet another case in DOND with seven figures in it?
Gordon: I predict that, yes.
Chico: Good.
Gordon: Am I right?
Chico: Because it's about to happen tonight, because someone flubbed it last week.
Jason: We have the max on the right side...13!
Gordon: So what happened this past week to get to 13?
Chico: I'm glad you asked that question. Ryan Cleghorn is at six cases..

50/400/500/1000/1mill x 2.

Chico: He's in the butter zone right now.
Gordon: And what's the officially steroid-case-inflated offer?
Chico: His offer: $246,000.
Gordon: $246,000*
Chico: Thanks.
Gordon: If it's good enough for Barry Bonds, then it's good enough for Ryan Cleghorn
Jason: thank you
Chico: Ryan goes for it. Next case... no more asterisk. $1 million.
Jason: oh boy
Gordon: Waa waa waa waaaaa
Chico: Next offer... $97,000
Jason: I would take it.
Gordon: Well, its still an asterisk, because who know what that case would have been - it may not have been the real million.
Chico: Good point. And that's precisely what he did. Deal for $97,000*
Gordon: With the low amounts left, it's time to go.
Chico: He would've knocked out the 1000, the 50, and the 400 in that order.
Jason: uh oh
Chico: In Ryan's case... $500.
Jason: whew...ok
Chico: "fi-hunnid." Katie Henslen is next... in a rather PINK set. Almost like they pieced together bits and pieces from another show.
Jason: ok
Chico: And it shows, because her bit on Wednesday is just a set-up for her game on Thursday. And the weird thing is... We have.. someone else on Wednesday!
Gordon: So then, with the Million Dollar mission going on, you'd know on Wednesday what happened on Thursday
Chico: Actually, Katie's game continues TONIGHT. On tonight's DOND. We get someone ELSE on Thursday. Shows are being aired out of production order.
Gordon: So what did we get on Thursday?
Chico: We get Edward Thomassie.
Chico: He's playing standard Deal with a standard board.
Gordon: Awww (puts the asterisk away)
Jason: ok
Chico: I should mention that halfway through the game, he dons a dress.
Jason: Excuse me
Chico: The 26 dresses the ladies wear... Edward wears one.
Jason: Oooook.....
Gordon: Becauuuuse?
Chico: His wife told him to do it.
Jason: We see who wears the pants in the family! And it ain't him.
Gordon: Can have his wife tell him to send us a check for 500 million dollars?
Chico: It must be working, because check out this board..

400/750/5000/25K/300K/500K.

Chico: With $107,000 to walk.
Jason: keep going
Chico: He does. He knocks out 750.
Jason: oh boy
Chico: And gets offered $131,000.
Gordon: Keep going
Jason: Yup.
Chico: It should be noted that he has TWO sets of helpers... his women in the family... and his best guy friends. The guy friends say to keep going. He doesn't. Deal for $131,000. Next case... $500,000. Case after that... $300,000. So he got out at the right time.
Gordon: Good timing.
Chico: He only had $5.
Jason: wow.
Gordon: Nicely done with $131,000 in the bank
Chico: Thad Novak was on Crosswords last week and made a killing by killing the puzzle.
Gordon: A nice $17,100 payout with a trip to boot. That has to be a show high, is it not?
Chico: Yep. That's why you watch.
Jason: There you go.
Gordon: Yes - and now for the show that has had both highs AND lows this week - Temptation. Can I have another Big Board please?
Chico: Number four in a series.

Gordon: The subject - The one high - and many lows - in Temptation this week.
Jason: Ok.
Gordon: The high - Ian becomes only the second contestant to go all the way and win the car. And it wasn't easy. He also had to win $175 in the last Super Knock Off Board to do it.
Jason: Damnnnn
Gordon: He won a $24,450 Mini Cooper
Jason: Very very cool
Chico: Totaling all of his cash and prizes, he's easily one of the best Temptation players ever.
Gordon: Over $30,000 in goodies. That's the high. Now for the low, let's go to Tuesday's episode. Let's start with this.

What game show host salutes contestants with a double hand pound instead of a hand shake?

Jason: Uh...Howie Mandel.
Gordon: That's right. Contestant's Answer: Howard Cosell.
Jason: lol
Chico: That was a disaster.
Gordon: Next question...

What fictional character goes to her grandmother's house carrying a basket of goodies?

Jason: Little Red Riding Hood
Gordon: Correct. Tyra said 'Little Red Robin Hood'
Jason: LOL
Chico: But WAIT! There's more!
Gordon: According to Tyra, Howard Stern was a celebrity...who insured his own body parts.
Jason: ewwwwwwwwww
Gordon: That Knocks Her out. As a matter of fact, we have all 3 contestants wiping out of Knock Off with only 5 correct answers
Jason: Yuck.
Chico: But WAIT!
Gordon: There's more!
Jason: There's more?
Chico: There's more!
Chico: Speed round 2.
Chico: They're MORE! Tyra buzzes in a question.. before the question is read!
Jason: Oh boy.
Gordon: She does this...twice.
Jason: Oooookkkkk
Gordon: Ian also spends at $22 lead for a shot at $1,500.
Jason: Yipe.
Chico: He won the money, mind you. Now before you go to the phone lines, what else could we possibly offer to top this unmitigated display?
Gordon: Let's top it off with the winning total in this show for today....$42.
Jason: That is...bad.
Gordon: The third place total on the show was Tyra with...$2.
Jason: That is...worse.
Gordon: The $2 represents the lowest amount ever in Temptation history. I'm guessing that has to be pretty close in the original Sale of the Century history as well. I'm guessing it would have been a better show if we had 3 hamsters playing.
Chico: Probably.
Gordon: And in fact...the hamsters are back!
Chico: As you know, the strike is over, which means solidarity is over... So we have the hamsters back!
Jason: Very cool.
Chico: And the jackets came in!
Gordon: However, I made an executive decision
Chico: We're not doing the news naked. =p
Jason: No way
Gordon: (Stares at Chico)...No. We're ...going to keep the scab animals. I can't leave them out in the cold. Besides, we still have SAG to deal with.
Chico: That's true. Okay, all the hamsters are loaded..
Jason: And the non-union ones as well.
Chico: Let's fire this bad boy
Gordon: Groundhogs...check. Mole...Check. Pig...Check. Bookworm...Check. Cat...check. Roll That Beautiful Brain Footage...Check.
Chico: Big check.

(Doug: Live, local, and latebreaking... From the four corners of the globe to your frontal lobe, this is WLTI Brainvision News, and now here's Gordon Pepper, Chico Alexander, and the award-winning Brainvision News Team)

Chico: Thanks, Doug! What to start with... let's get loaded early.  It's a holiday.

One of the biggest viral videos to hit the web is a show from Japan called "Hole in the Wall". Well... Fox just bought the rights to bring the format stateside.

Jason: Yeah I saw....weird
Chico: If it doesn't sound familiar, search the YouTube for "Human Tetris". This is what Fox wants to put on the air.
Gordon: That's what it is, and it looks cool for a 5 minutes Letterman-like Stupid Human Trick thing, but I can't see how this is going to keep people glued to their tv watching it for 30-60 minutes.
Chico: It's Fox. Worse comes to worse, stick it after a 90-minute SYTYCD.
Gordon: So you think you can Tetris. So you think you have a Datebook?
Chico: I have a datebook. And I invite you to read it.

February Sweeps time! Don't Forget the Lyrics has celebrity singers this Thursday - Boyz II Men.

Jason: Oh boy.

Friday's the launch of Amne$ia. Monday is My Dad is Better Than your Dad. Friday is also Night #1 of The Price is Right Million Dollar Spectacular.

Jason: We have the 3rd week of "Thanks a Million" on Wheel
Chico: Celebrity look-alikes on the Feud. And also Friday, the season finale of 1 vs. 100.
Gordon: Strike? What Strike?
Chico: And next Monday, everything old is new again as WinTV fathers Playmania's baby... GSNlive.
Jason: I seriously hope that works.
Chico: It's a three hour block of classic series with interactive gaming bookends. Just like the good old days. It's hosted by Fred Roggin and Heidi Bohay, who may or may not have been on an ep of Pyramid in the 80s. So for those of you who were pining for the return of Sexy Jeff on GSN... Sorry.
Gordon: It can't be worse than the later stages of Playmania...can it?
Jason: I sure hope not.
Chico: We get to watch something other than people hawking for games.
Jason: Wink is guesting first week.
Chico: There you go. Watch GSNlive... see Wink. Lots of dates. Hope you got them all down.
Gordon: Wink's a pretty smart guy, right?
Chico: Very smart. But is he worldwide?
Gordon: Lets go global to find out

Shane Richie has been tapped to host the UK version of "Don't Forget the Lyrics!"

Chico: This reminds me of a British quote.
Jason: He was in a band right?
Chico: Shane's actually a veteran musical actor and host. I'm reminded of this and the "Singing Bee", which was taken off of NBC's site, I should add... As for the quote... "In every war, Britain always wins at least one battle... the last one." Singing Bee won the sprint, but Don't Forget the Lyrics! won the marathon.
Jason: Wow.
Chico: Who had THAT one... Whoa.
Gordon: Not me.
Jason: Nope. Not me either.
Gordon: Who has this week's Are You Smarter Than?
Jason: I don't know...let's see
Chico: This is always interesting.
Gordon: Let's put it this way. You are in the house. You are playing as a couple. One couple has the power. You decide that you want to spread rumors about one of the people with the power in the house, which is pretty dumb to begin with...who is the one person you do NOT want to tell the lies to?
Chico: The other half of the couple?
Gordon: Bingo
Jason: Oh boy.

Are You Smarter Than...Jacob Heald, who bashed power person Parker - and told Jen that he heard that Parker was heartless and gutless. One problem - Jen is Parker's partner, and after they both figured out that Jacob was the person spreading the rumors, he and partner Sharon Obermueller was sent packing. To make it even more dumb, Joshua, who lost his partner Neil for unforetold reasons, had a chance to bring back either Sharon or Jacob in the game.

Chico: And he brings back Sharon.
Gordon: For obvious reasons, he brought Sharon back, leaving Jacob as the only person evicted from the house in the first week.
Jason: (shakes head)
Gordon: Who wants some Haterade?
Jason: I am ready for it.
Chico: Bring it.

The Haterade goes to WNBC, who is tired of seeing Crosswords being bashed by Judge Judy and Oprah. They move it to...11:30 in the morning to be bashed by the second half hour of The Price is Right. Now how are you going to foster an audience when you are setting the show up against the Showcase Showdown?

Gordon: I sense a 3am time slot for Season #2 for Crosswords in the NYC area.
Chico: Right between Poker After Dark and the infomercial with the guy that looks like a pedophile. On the fakey news set. You know who I'm talking about.
Gordon: Something like that. Maybe they can sell business bats.
Chico: Maybe. Here's your Business End.

Reveille, who's responsible for the Biggest Loser, American Gladiators, and Nashville Star, has been bought by Elisabeth Murdoch's Shine production company. The actual retail price: $200 million.

Jason: wow
Chico: Elisabeth Murdoch, of course, the daughter of Rupert Murdoch.
Jason: yup
Gordon: That makes a very interesting FOX/NBC Dynamic (as Fox is owned by Rupert)
Chico: Not really. Ben Silverman divested himself of Reveille in order to serve as NBC's co-chief, I believe.
Gordon: Yes, but you would have to think there was loyalty to NBC from Reveile
Chico: Oh yeah. Like first look or something.
Gordon: Exactly
Jason: Right.
Gordon: But regardless of who has it, they will always have a chance to make more media hoes
Chico: Oh yeah. And they'll have a couch to crash on, powered by RealityWanted.com.
Gordon: What do we got on the couch this week?

Million Dollar Password is still casting. It's Password... for a million bucks... with Regis... on CBS. Come on. What more do you want?
http://www.realitywanted.com/call/2195-million-dollar-password-now-casting

Chico: Also, not a casting call per se, but tickets for the J! College Championship are now available at jeopardy.com
Jason: Where is at?
Chico: It's at UW-Madison. Or, if you want to play with the Big Boys, chase the Brain Bus in St. Louis on Friday.
Gordon: I have some more casting calls, like...

America's Next Top Model
http://www.realitywanted.com/call/2125-americas-next-top-model-cycle-11-now-casting 

Biggest Loser Season 6 -
http://www.realitywanted.com/call/2126-biggest-loser-season-6-casting-teams-of-2 

Game Show In My Head -
http://www.realitywanted.com/call/2161-cbs-game-show-in-my-head-now-casting 

Gordon: And for people who want Chico to throw things at them

The Bachelorette -
http://www.realitywanted.com/call/2078-the-bachelorette-now-casting 

Chico: I look forward to practicing my Assault moves on you.
Gordon: And now, for the Hoes...

In this week's Hodometer, The Weakest Link's Anne Robinson is searching for a man, High Rollers Dice Girl Ruta Lee does some acting, Top Model's Jael Strauss gets a settlement on her nudie pics...Carrie Underwood and Jennifer Hudson win Grammys, Pat Bullard hosts 'Here Comes the Newlyweds', Jordin Sparks is touring with Alicia Keys, and Mark Burnett wants to bring back...wait for it...Rock Star 3.

Jason: Oh boy
Chico: Can't we just give him a copy of Rock Band and be done with it?
Gordon: But none of them are the Ho of the week.
Chico: Who's this week's top trollop?
Gordon: The Ho of the week is...John O'Hurley, who is now back in Spamalot. This after taping 165 episodes of Family Feud, hosting a national Dog Show, Writing and promoting a book, and performing in a few musical concerts. All in 4 1/2 months. Busy much?
Jason: Wow. Sleep?
Chico: Imagine how he'll feel after season 10 next year.
Gordon: And those...are your hoes.
Chico: No wonder we love to call him John O'Ho'ley.
Jason: And John...we heart you a lot.
Chico: We do, you know.
Gordon: And that's Brainvision. Shut it Down.
Jason: (shutting down)
Chico: Okay, we'll get to game time in a bit, but first, you had a turn to destroy something. 48% of you wanted to trash the TV with... Flavor of Love 3.
Jason: Not a surprise.
Gordon: Nope. This Week's Question...

Chico: Results in a week. What's next, G?
Gordon: Next up, we have too many hoes, and they need to be infiltrated. And we'll see how Accurate that is. Right after the break.
Chico: This is WLTI, the show that makes its own wrong and passes the savings onto you.

(Brainvision is brought to you by Dennis Miller's Amne$ia Pills... Helpful if you find yourself playing Don't Forget the Lyrics... way... too... much.)

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