December 17, 2005

Gordon: Straggling right along...did you bring the scripts?
Chico:  Welcome back. We've got not that darn much time left, so let's get right into some Roleplay here.  I brought all of the scripts, so there should be no discrepancies.
Jason:  Lets do it.
Chico:  Although you will have to play all the female roles, Gordon, since we haven't had a female on the show since Maddie graced us with her presence earlier this year.
Gordon: I think Jason should - he scared Maddie off.
Jason:  I did NOT scare Maddie off :)
Gordon: Speaking of which, what do you have for him?
Chico:  First off... Jason, you are Rosie Ruiz.
Gordon: Good choice female role for Jason
Jason:  Shut up.
Chico:  GSN's Anything to Win has chosen YOU to be its first mark of sorts... Reactions?
Jason:  First of all....I still deny the fact that I lost that race 25 years ago. That taxi driver lied his ass off.
Gordon: You thought it was the Amazing Race instead of the Marathon, didn't you?
Jason:  That being said, I think GSN needs ratings in anyway possible, so that they choose me, a woman of hispanic descent to goose their ratings...and yes...I was the one who created the concept of the Amazing race. So Mark Burnett...you will be hearing from my lawyer! (gets in a cab and leaves) (SLAM)
Chico:  And what do you think of the others they chose, Bobby Fischer, Ahnold.... I guess she didn't have time to answer my question.. must have a race to compete in or something.
Gordon: Uh...Mark Burnett didn't create the Amazing Race.
Chico:  The credit explicitly says Bertram van Munster and Elise Doganieri.
Jason:  I never said Ruiz was smart...she got caught cheating :)
Chico:  G... You're next, BTW...
Gordon: I guess we know where Heather and Eve got those traits from.
Jason:  Gordon, you are Howie Mandel.
Gordon: I need that papaya hat.
Jason:  This is your debut as a game show host and the network's fate may be on your shoulders? Nervous?
Gordon: I'm not really nervous. I've had to stick my head in a rubber glove and I've had to deal with sounding like a 5 year old boy, so I've done much more embarrassing things. The most nerve-wreaking thing is to try to get my career back from obscurity, so this should be a piece of cake.
Chico:  Piece of cake?
Gordon: Yes. I have 26 pieces of cake. Which piece do you want?
Chico:  What do you think of the show, anyway?
Gordon: It's a great show. I love it. Where's my check?
Jason:  Oh boy.
Chico:  You're talking to the wrong dude...
Gordon:  Next one...Jason, you have a role for Chico?
Jason:  Chico...you are Jeff Probst.
Chico:  Lucky me.
Jason:  You had the most successful Survivor in a while...and you got a big fat raise...come on...were you really going to quit your meal ticket?
Chico:  You know what, I'm not sure. I mean, this is entertainment to you guys, and to me, it's a gig. It's money coming in for me and Julie now... It's a future. There's a job element... and Alex Trebek wasn't calling me as much as he told me he was, so you know, I love doing this. And I get to travel the world and see it for myself, and I would do that when I retire, but I do it already! *hand motions* So there you go. I probably would've had I not come to my senses...
Gordon: We need to cast Jason as Julie Berry and see the romance bloom.
Jason:  No you don't.
Chico:  *gets baseball bat ready*
Jason:  NEXT!
Gordon: Jason. you are....A Whammy.
Jason:  Ok.
Gordon: The Mexican Version of Press Your Luck is supposed to grace our screens in early 2006. But Trato Hecho just got yanked for Telenovelas - which by the way, FOX is transcribing for American TV (of course, they don't bring the game shows here, but I digress). What's going through your mind right now?
Jason:  Well, I am brushing up on my Spanish, because I know that the Mexican market for game show is going to be huge.  I have a deal for "El Whammy" dolls. My rep is the same guy who got the fat deal for Simon Cowell.
Chico:  Damn!
Jason:  But I am going to sneak to the executive's office who yanked Trato Hecho...because...I have a confession.
Chico:  Uh oh...
Jason:  El Super Pollo and I...we're "more than friends". Let's just leave it at that.
Gordon: And how does Tammy fell about this?
Jason:  Tammy is a lot more open minded than you think.
Chico:  Brokeback Whammy, coming soon to a theater or drive-in near you.
Jason:  But I have to go...I have said way too  much...Adios...Hasta La Vista...Bon Voyage...See you in 2006!
Chico:  Okay! Gordon, got one for you now... You are Casey McMackin...  You know who Casey McMackin is, right?
Gordon: I do, but why don't you educate me and the rest of the audience who has no clue what you're talking about.
Chico:  I will. To explain, Casey was the captain of the McMackin family who won twice this week on the Feud, but couldn't convert into Fast Money because of some of the most inane answers I've ever heard. For example...For the question of a word or phrase beginning with "chicken", you, being the stereotypical dumb blonde, said, and I quote... "don't be a chicken".
Gordon: Well, you know that I am idolizing the family that gave frog as an answer for name an animal with three letters in it's name.
Chico:  Just admit it... you got on the show thanks to your breasts, didn't you?
Gordon: My breasts are real and magnificent, thank you. I am an asset to my team.
Chico:  Ehh.. perhaps I shouldn't be too hard, but you know, it's the whole argument: image versus ability to play the game.  Do you have the ability to play the game?
Gordon: My breasts are also deadly weapons. If I shake them up and down, it will distract the other family to give answers even worse than the answers that I have given.
Chico:  Oy.
Gordon: Watch....(shake, shake, shake). What's the capital of California?
Chico:  Sacramento.
Jason:  Uh...Albany!
Gordon: See? My breasts at work, ladies and gentlemen!
Chico:  I'll tell you what, it took a lot for me not to be distracted...
Gordon: That's not true - I know about your affair with the Whammy and the Super Pollo!
Chico:  Man.. that's some Photoshop bull(^_^).
Jason:  (Gasp!)
Chico:  Done on YOUR Photoshop!
Gordon: You know you want chicken done right.
Chico:  Ok. Last one for me.
Gordon: Chico. Finally, just keeping up with the flavor of Roleplay this week, you are ...a condom.
Chico:  *gets baseball bat ready* You're looking to get reamed a new one, I suppose...
Gordon: No. This one actually makes sense, game show style.
Chico:  Oh? *Puts down baseball bat*
Gordon: India has just unleashed a huge game show promoting safe sex to go along with game show playing.
Jason:  No kidding.
Gordon: No kidding. The show is garnering great ratings. Thoughts?
Chico:  I'm the luckiest piece of rubber in the world. That's all I'll say about that.
Gordon: Do you think MTV would pick this up?
Chico:  Nah. They're not that big into protection. Why do you think the Real World is still on the air?
Gordon: Well, you have fights there. I don't think there's been any Real World babies yet made during the tapings.
Chico:  But would you be surprised if there were?
Gordon: Can't say I would be, no
Chico:  There you go! Moral: reduce the risk, people! Get married first, then settle down with a baby. It's good for both you and the baby. Okay, enough pulpitting, we've got one more break. Then it's the last regular Big Finish of 2005.

(Brought to you by The Rice is Right. As you are all making holiday meals, please be careful in making them - and in driving around during this holiday season. This has been a public service announcement from WLTI)

Chico:  Yes. It gets cold and icy out. Who can forget the Boxing Day massacre in which some guy ran me off the road?
Jason:  lovely.
Chico:  Very.
Gordon: But we're glad that Chico is safe and sound. And we want you to be safe and sound so you can continue to read us in 2006
Jason:  please don't drink and drive.
Chico:  Drive 55, arrive alive. That's what we say, dog... Hey, you know what happens next week?
Jason:  I don't.
Chico:  Aside from Christmachanukwanzaakah, of course.
Gordon: What happens next week, Chico?
Chico:  It's the 2005 Year in Review show! We go over the best, the rest, and the worst of 2005, and then look forward to 2006.
Gordon: And on that note, we go to THE BIG FINISH! Who wins The Apprentice, Martha Stewart?
Chico:  On that note: who really cares anymore?
Jason:  Not me.
Chico:  Not me either.
Gordon: Is there a chance that The Martha won't hire either of them?
Jason:  Possibly.
Chico:  Oh yeah. Of course she'll draw the ire of the network, but who the hell cares, no one's watching this crap... did that come out loud?
Gordon: Nothing wrong with echoing the public sentiment, Chico. Deal or No Deal - how many nights are you watching?
Jason:  All 5
Chico:  All you can eat, baby.
Gordon: Sounds like a good bowling team name.
Chico:  That it does :). For those that don't get it, Gordon's a league bowler on a team called, "All You Can Eat, Baby".
Gordon: And we're in third out of 34 teams. Do we have mail?
Chico:  Going into the mailbag now...Okay, let's start with a fellow by the name of Jordan Hass. Thanks for writing, Jordan!
Jason:  Hey Jordan.

Chico:  First off, thanks for the props. We're always looking for help around here...
Gordon: and with the glut of shows for 2006, we can always use more recappers
Chico:  Second... if you're looking for Cash Cab in the Primes, you are looking in the wrong place. It's a daily show, so it gets the daily treatment in the Shortshots. We have another one from him, believe it or not...

Chico:  I suppose if we had the tech for an RSS feed, we could do a WLTI daily brief like one or two thingies. I'll look into that.
Gordon: I'd certainly do a running quick daily one
Chico:  Yeah. Again, we'll look into that.
Gordon: I have the next one - which is from codifordad. They also want to chat about Cash Cab...

Chico:  That's a good question...
Gordon: Thanks for the e-mail. First of all, we don't know if there's taping going on for the show.
Chico:  That's right. The first order was for 40 shows, and the first 20 have already aired.
Gordon: However, if you look at the cab, you can see that there are 3 levels of seats - which means that it won't be a small cab. You need to find a large mini-van-like cab and hope that it's the magic Cash Cab.
Chico:  But if it helps, look for the cab marked...
Gordon: You realze that if they don't change the license plate, that we have completely spoiled the Cash Cab's secrecy, right?
Chico:  ... Yeah. That does take away from the whole surprise element. But doesn't the fact that they prescreen some players do that already?
Gordon: No - I think they prescreen them when they actually get in the cab
Chico:  Ah. Well...we won't completely ruin it, but look for bigger sized cabs. Meanwhile, we have another letter from Jack Tinney. Thanks, Jack!

Chico:  You want to take this one, Gordon?
Gordon: Yes. Give me $10,000. I work cheap.
Jason:  (smack)
Gordon: Only kidding. We've tackled thie question before. The first thing you HAVE to do is to  get it copyrighted by both the US Copyright Office and the Writer's Guild. Then you have to find an agent who's in the field. I would suggest going to different Agent Agency Websites and find someone that looks good. Finally, you have to pitch it to them - and YOU are going to have to go to them to do it. We have gotten emails from people who want to pitch, but who don't want to go and pitch it. Tough. If you want the glory, you have to do the work to get it. Good and diligent research (as well as copyrighting what you have) is the best way to go. Good Luck!
Chico:  It may take a while to see something come of it, but if you keep at it, your diligence will be well rewarded.  One more here...Our good friend Jason Wuthrich.

Chico:  Thanks, Jason. Now I've seen the process of how this pans out, having seen the North Carolina championship shirts printed first hand. They actually print both shirts and roll out the champs' shirts before hand, but as we said last week, the people at Pontiac would have the right commercial ready because the series that would correspond to it had already been in the can, seen by only a select few, sponsors included. What we call a trade secret around here. That's right, isn't it?
Jason:  In the same way when we saw the SPIN ID prize get given away, but the ID# was not shown until the night of broadcast.
Gordon: Yep. And as for the Powerball numbers, I'll guess 8, 13, 26, 35, 41, 42. Powerball Number - 17. THIS IS FOR ENTERTAINMENT PURPOSES ONLY!!! DO NOT WRITE TO ME IF I GET EVERY NUMBER WRONG
Jason:  LOL
Chico:  And of course, the opinions of Gordon Pepper Powerball Picks are not official and do not reflect the staff and management of Game Show Newsnet or its parent partner Stormseeker Digital. Offer valid in 49 states... Sorry Tennessee!
Jason:  You speak legalese fluently.
Chico:  Thank you. Any more mail?
Gordon: Thats all I got
Chico:  That's all I got too. So all we have to say is send us more! We love reading! We love answering! The address: wlti@gameshownewsnet.com
Gordon: I guess our work is done here. For Jason, Ryan, Travis and Chico, this is Gordon Pepper, telling you to have a wonderful holiday season..
Chico:  Remember: DEAL OR NO DEAL THIS WEEK AT 8PM ON NBC!
Jason:  Please: Howie needs a gig. And we need more shows on TV.
Chico:  Next week, 2005 Year in Review, when we say to this year... Game Over :) For now... spread the love to you and yours this holiday.
Jason:  And remember, dont drink and drive...please.
Chico:  That's right.
Gordon: We'll sic Bai Ling on you if you do.
Chico:  We will, you know.
Gordon: Don't test us.