October 8, 2005
Chico: Hey there. I'm Chico, and it's
still raining. Enough to lull me into a false sense of bliss.. *sighs*
Gordon: I'm Gordon, and despite the rain, bomb threats and congested
traffic in NYC, we're still awake on this Saturday morning to give you episode
#74 of the show that you guys love to read.
Chico: You forgot one thing... Carny folk.
Gordon: Don't you have carny folk in NC?
Chico: Precisely why we brought it up, that and Erika Jo being at a
county fair, and Fantasia to perform at the NC State Fair. That said... from
somewhere in America, WLTI is on!
Gordon: Welcome to the big show, and we welcome our panel of esteemed
guests. First up - our resident Trivia Buff from NYC, Mr. Jason Block.
Jason: I don't feel I deserve like I measure up to the title this week,
Chico: We won't go into why... but we know... Walk it off, dude. Then
there's our resident doughnut, Don Harpwood.
Chico: It's time for the Opening Round. Starting today with a pharmacy
tech from Old Town, ME, Jason "The Juggernaut" Richards! *plays Get Ready For
This*. Here we have a Jeopardy! champ that made quite a name for himself this
Jason: He was a very good player this week.
Don: Yeah, he's been quite dominant for most of the week.
Chico: Until this Friday when the teacher (Melissa Prepster) schooled the
boy. "All because she knew the King James Bible."
Chico: But still, you have to admire the guy's playing style: Use a fast
thumb, a killer instinct, and build an insurmountable lead. You have to wonder
why it didn't click on Friday.
Jason: It's like what happened to me...the right categories and the right
player can dethrone any player.
Gordon: Some people just have bad nights or get categories that they are
not familiar with. Such is the luck of the draw.
Chico: Indeed, just a bad break. A good break for Melissa, as she takes
the ever-so-popular total of $19,395 into NEXT Monday's match.
Jason: It's KIDS Week next week.
Chico: Can't wait. One of our newer good friends is on Monday's show.
Jason: The Placentia Powerhouse---Maddie Suchard.
Gordon: Daughter of recapper Julie Suchard and commentator/WLTI guest
Don: Ah, cool.
Chico: Elder daughter.
Jason: And if you were at GSC4, you saw her play in the Tournament and
play very well.
Chico: Yep. She was actually in a Jeopardy game with myself and former J!
champ Burns Cameron. Burns and I ended up tying for second with $0.
Joe: Good morning, all hands.
Chico: Gourd mourning to you, Joe. Peeps, Mr. Joe Van Ginkel has arrived
at long last :-)
Joe: I take it you're talking about Maddie Suchard. Yes? No? Maybe so?
Chico: Young whippersnapper out of So Cal, yeah.
Jason: Yes we are. Cause Melissa is going to be waiting a week as the
Kids take over.
Joe: Ah yes. I was invited to the viewing party this Monday.
Chico: I've got off. I should phone in my regards, win or loss. Because,
you know, I don't know what'll happen.
Joe: I have faith in the young lady.
Chico: Faith well-placed. She's very versed.
Jason: Two words Chico...RODEO...
Jason: And the smile on her face was priceless.
Chico: It was. But not as priceless as the smile on Pete Fierro's face as
he's awarded with... the golden Schwabblehead.
Gordon: As we talk about something not so precious.
Chico: Or, for that matter, the smile on Gordon's face when he heard that
Stump the Schwab was finally over.
Gordon: Well, THAT was precious to me =)
Chico: He was like a kid on Christmas.
Gordon: Hanukkah, Chico, Hanukkah.
Chico: Oh, my bad.
Don: Seemed like a quick season, from what I heard.
Chico: If you haven't heard that Stump the Schwab's season ended on
Wednesday, well... You're probably not alone. The show ended without symphony
on Wednesday with a three-game mini-thon.
Gordon: Well, the Schwab did have a season three come...and go. Have you
ever seen anyone burn off a COMPLETE SERIES with no fanfare like that?
Jason: I don't get that.
Chico: Me neither.
Chico: At least 2MD had a decent-enough sendoff.
Jason: Two words..."contractual obligation".
Chico: You're just the man of two words today, aren't you? :-)
Joe: So Schwabbie's out of business, then?
Chico: Back to the real research room in Bristol, yeah.
Jason: As of now.
Gordon: The golf cart has been revoked.
Chico: The Red Storm band is back at St. Johns.
Chico: And Stu's waiting for his next game show assignment... whenever
that may be. I could go for a second season of Teammates. You?
Gordon: Bowling Night!
Joe: Give him a round of a new 2MD to host.
Chico: This could make an interesting Big Board here. The Chairman
Joe: (cue Jeopardy! game board load-up SFX)
What we've seen: Schwab, BBD, Teammates, Dream Job
- What we haven't seen: 2MD, Bowling Night, another Apprentice clone
Chico: Let's see.. He's done Schwab. He's
done BBD. He's done Teammates... He's done Dream Job. The only thing he hasn't
done is something like 2MD or Bowling Night.
Gordon: Why couldn't we have Stuart Scott as the lead for The Ultimate
Chico: I cite Jason Block's argument: "contractual obligation." Ladies
and gentlemen, we have a case of YADAC here. "Yet Another Damn Apprentice
Joe: Oh. Ai-ya.
Don: Oh dear. How many more of those are going to pop up?
Gordon: As many as they have left on the docket.
Chico: At least six before the genre runs its course, I believe =p
Gordon: I actually still think that the genre has legs. Unfortunately,
they aren't doing anything ORIGINAL or CREATIVE with the idea. TUH reminded me
of a very bad clone cross between Missy Elliott and The Player.
Chico: That's being kind. I thought it was just a conglomeration of bad
stereotypes with bad gameplay all around.
Jason: Oh come on Gordon, you put on the site the candidate for worst
show of 2005 already.
Gordon: We'll get to that.
Which brings us to our newest segment of the Opening Round... Fun with
Jason: This doesn't replace the Media Ho report does it?
Chico: Today's case: But Can They Sing? The commercials have already
started running. The lineup is set. Is anyone seeing why NBC passed on the
Jason: Yeah...the concept sucks.
Joe: Unless Amy Jo Johnson's on the docket...and she isn't...
Chico: Nope. Wrong Ranger, Joe.
Gordon: Not just the concept - would you want to watch any of these
people sing? If they got A-listers, that's one thing, but these are D-Listers
that make Kathy Griffin look good.
Don: I'm kinda glad that I don't get a station that'll air THAT.
Jason: How about But Can They Sing: And They Put Out A Record! With David
Hasselhoff, Philip Michael Thomas, Don Johnson, Bruce Willis...
Gordon: Don't forget Eddie Murphy. Fortunately, there is a show that has
a much better debut - Poker Royale - the James Woods Gang Vs. the Unabombers.
Joe: WHOO POKER ROYALE! Too bad I had to work.
Chico: Now THAT was enjoyable.
Gordon: Poker Royale actually had people who KNEW how to play poker,
unlike the Pros Vs. Comedians, which was a mess.
Chico: You're going to enjoy this season, G?
Gordon: I have enjoyed every season, but this one looks to be the best -
we got players WITH personalities. Don't get me wrong, even messy poker is good
poker, but this looks like a steamed lobster vs. Last season's shrimp cocktail.
Jason: MMMM...lobster with drawn butter and nice warm biscuits.
Chico: Hey.. I like shrimp cocktail. Especially when the shrimp is nice
and chilled like ... That's good eatin'
Gordon: I do too - but I'd rather have steamed lobster.
Joe: Hey, don't forget the cheese/garlic biscuits, man.:D
Chico: True. From celebs, we go to contestants, as we have some searches
to announce. Shall I or are you going to wipe the drool from your face?
Joe: (wipes face)
Jason: (wipes face)
Gordon: We can switch off. First of all, we have Ashton Kutcher's new
show 'Fountain of Youth', that's searching for college students - and senior
Chico: The premise here: Beauty & The Geek + The Amazing Race, as college
seniors and senior citizens race across America, is it?
Gordon: That's what it is.
Joe: Pass. Next!
Jason: It's worth a look.
Gordon: Kutcher hasn't made a mistake yet - Amazing Race fans will love
this, assuming that they play it in the non-exploitative style of Beauty and the
Geek. Next one, Chico?
Chico: Next one, of course, one we're looking forward to once NBC gets
their (^_^) together... Deal or No Deal is plowing full-steam ahead. They're
looking for players.
Gordon: For the 85,632nd time.
Jason: I had the chance to go. But I got the notice late this week...and
I am not in LA.
Joe: I'm still debating it.
Gordon: Why not, Joe? It's better than dropping down a hole.
Jason: Go for it, Joe. What could it hurt.
Chico: And certainly better than eating crickets. Or debasing yourself
for cameras in order to get a hot date.
Gordon: Or getting stuck on an island with 15 other media hoes.
Joe: Make with the Ludacris!
Jason: Come on Joe...are you going to do it?
Chico: Joe Joe Joe Joe Joe Joe!
Joe: I'll get back to you.
Jason: I was seriously considering taking a flight. No joke.
Chico: I would've.
Gordon: Maybe Joe would prefer to be a contestant on King of Vegas - the
ultimate gambling decathlon.
Jason: I would...but I don't think I am that good to play all the games.
Don: Sounds interesting.
Chico: That it does.
Jason: 10 games...$1,000,000 prize.
Chico: I nominate Gordon, because he has a gambling problem.
Gordon: How is it a gambling problem if you don't lose and if people call
you the 'Lucky White Boy'?
Chico: They knew you for how long?
Gordon: Around 5 minutes =)
Joe: Long enough. They do that to me all the time at work.
Chico: See? =p
Jason: They smoke, they drink, they gamble, and help Gordon (and
sometimes me) win.
Gordon: Better to be lucky than good. Maybe you don't want to do that and
music is up your alley. You can go to mtv.com to apply to Score!
Jason: OHMIGOD! RYAN CABRERA! SCREEEEEEEEEEECCCCCCCCCHHHHHHHHH!
Chico: And hey, you get to meet a walking piece of hair.
Don: Eh, if I tried to sing, everyone else in the room would run out
Jason: I was channeling the typical 13-18 MTV teen demo.
Chico: The kind of audience that would be interested in seeing one woman
go on three first dates with one guy?
Jason: And their moms.
Chico: The final call is for Groundhog Date, a show where a woman is
hypnotized to forget a date with a man as soon as she goes on it.
Gordon: Can we get on to help me with that show - and forget we heard
Jason: You didn't hear about it...you didn't hear about it...(SNAP)
Gordon: Aiiieeee....didn't work.
Don: Weird concept...
Chico: Me no likey.
Joe: Ditto. No thanks.
Gordon: If NBC keeps coming up with those concepts, they will be
competing against the WB to avoid the gutter.
Chico: That's a thought. Okay, Gordon, what's next?
Gordon: Next is....I think I hear a Doppler chopper.
Jason: And some mice.
Gordon: Or is it a Doppler Choppler?
Joe: None for me, please.
Gordon: Come on Joe - take a jacket and make Jason happy.
Jason: You don't have to wear it. Just take it.
Gordon: Strap it over your shoulder or something.
Chico: Use it as a fashionable headband. Smother Gordon with it! :-)
Gordon: Hey now!
Chico: Tee hee :-)
Joe: No. I'll stick to what I have on.
Gordon: I thought Joe was a corporation sort of guy.
Jason: Lets do this! Fire up the Brain!
Gordon: Roll that Beautiful... ah, you know.
From the four corners of the globe to your frontal
lobe, this is WLTI Brainvision News with the award-winning Brainvision
Chico: Once again, the dulcet tones of Mr. Doug Morris. He would've been
on the show today, but Miss Circle's sick, soo...Gotta honor those marriage
Joe: Word. Much love to my NetShowdown producer. Incidentally,
NetShowdown as at last back under way.
Chico: And where can we find that?
Chico: Indeed. Let's fire up some news. Gordon, kick it off, please.
Gordon: We start with something Joe will like...
Jason: Amy Jo Johnson is posing for Playboy?
Gordon: No, sorry. But...
Is Jeff Probst calling it quits for Survivor? It looks like it, as rumors
swirl that he wants to spend time with ex-contestant and current squeeze Julie
Chico: I've said it before. I'll say it again. Jeff Probst is our
generation's Dickie Dawson.
Joe: Except that unlike Dickie, his show sucks. :D
Chico: Tell that to the 10 million viewers, Joe =p
Joe: Poor people.
Don: If those rumors are true, then I wonder what'll happen to the show.
Will it be done, or will they get a new host?
Chico: Jeff's one of the producers. Will the franchise do without him
(Joe, don't answer)?
Jason: I don't know. Jeff is the face of Survivor.
Gordon: Reality shows with new hosts have not historically done well -
and never with a show with those high ratings. We'll have to see. Next
This week, we said goodbye to another game show favorite, as Nipsey Russell
joins the panel of God's Match Game.
Jason: God Bless you Nipsey. We loved you.
Chico: Besides being "the poet laureate of television" and a comedic
actor, he was also a stellar player on Pyramid and Match Game, and even got his
own show, Your Number's Up! in 1985.
Jason: (bows head)
Chico: GSN will tribute him in this week's episodes of Match Game at
3:30p. Check those out. Meanwhile, In homage...
Chico: "The opposite of pro is con, that is truly seen. If progress means
move forward, what does congress mean?" (bows head). Next up?
Gordon: Next up -
Made in the USA wasn't good enough for
Primetime, and it's not good enough for 6pm. The show is now Fridays at 10am.
Jason: Poor Todd. I thought this would work.
In other ratings news, NBC's Fathom/Surafce/Sea show that sucks dismal
showing for the past 2 weeks have provided speculation that Fear Factor may be
coming back sooner than planned, and the Martha's ratings after the time switch
- actually BETTER than her debut. Wha?
Chico: Ehh, the contestants were just too boring. As for Martha... Still
doesn't change the fact that it sucks.
Jason: I still say Martha will be a bomb.
Chico: I'm sure Joe will agree with me.
Jason: Have you read Julie's recap? Yeowch.
Chico: She always shot straight.
Jason: With both barrels.
Chico: She's a straight-shooter. She shoots straight,.
Gordon: It doesn't seem like the real her - and I think the viewers are
calling her on it.
Chico: I know we are here at the Alexander house. My sister said, and I
quote, "I wanted to see her fangs come out. I wanted to see what made Martha
Gordon: We're getting a sanitized version - and I, for one, don't want
Chico: Too sterile. Way too sterile. Okay, next up...
Jason: Let Martha be the ruthless b*tch she can be.
If you watched the last Casino Night on GSN, you may have noticed some
interstitial game play. This is part of a new campaign for GSN to promote their
rolling jackpot game for viewers. Also part to bolster the two-hour block.
Chico: The segments are hosted by former Scream Play host Matt Iseman
and, of course... Casino Night (nee Alysha Wheeler)
Chico: Did we mention that viewers can win money?
Jason: $5,000 to start.
Gordon: Oooooh. Monnneeeeyyyyy
Chico: And $5000 for every week it isn't won.
Chico: It's all fun and games until money is involved :-) And it's all
nice and clean until Luda is involved. *plays Area Codes*
Jason: puts up a dollar bill
Gordon: Wait wait wait. On a week as holy as Rosh Hashanah, should we
really be discussing Media Hos?
Jason: Do we have any?
Gordon: We have plenty.
Jason: Then lets do it.
Gordon: (shrugs) ok
Chico: That was quick.
Jason: Cant deprive the reading public of the Media Hos.
Joe: Make with the Ludacris!
The women of the Apprentice put out their yearly calendar, John O'Hurley
(happy birthday) goes to Broadway, Troy McClain brings his own home creation
show to the airwaves, Regis and the Donald sing 'Rudolph the Red Nosed Reindeer'
for Regis's album, and Martha Stewart has...a Christmas Album?
Jason: The gifts that keep on--sucking.
Chico: Gift card. Thank you.
Jason: Amazon, please.
Chico: I'll just stick with the third copy of "Can You Beat Ken?"
Jason: I got my DVD TPIR this week.
Joe: I'm waiting for mine, Jason.
Gordon: Last one, Chico?
Bravo has a new online game to go along with Celebrity Poker Showdown. You
can play along at home at bravotv.com...
Chico: ... but I still can't. Because I still can't get Bravo.
Gordon: Awww. Chico needs a hug.
Jason: (BIG HUG)
Chico: I know how Travis E. feels now... "I keep ranting! And nothing
Gordon: Ok, after we all get a group hug, we'll be back. We have an old
game - and a new game. See which one we play first after the break.
Chico: This is WLTI, fashion as anti-fashion :-)
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