November 8, 2005
(A special treat for you guys, a
rebroadcast of show #1 from October 2002. It's a WLTI Throwback!)
Gordon: Welcome to the very first
episode of 'We Love to Interrupt'. I'm Gordon Pepper...
Chico: And I... am a Chico - Alexander, to be exact. We've got a lot of ground
to cover, so let's get right into it. Gordon, whaddaya got first?
Gordon: First up - the Fall ratings are up - and game shows are down -
everything is down - should we be panicking?
Chico: Until we see a Match Game 98 type debacle, I'd say no. I mean, B&C said
it before, game shows are one-half of the meat and potatoes of syndications.
Gordon: I agree - Survivor is still a major power, and Fear Factor is still king
of the demographics on Monday Night - but I can't get Weakest Link in my area
until 2am - and that's one of the better shows. How do I get CBS to stop airing
Chico: Threaten them with an off-broadcast run of Push, Nevada - but seriously,
Millionaire is a strong performer, one of the strongest this season, BUT for
some reason, RDU will not air it.
Gordon: Push, Nevada and No Boundaries - sort of makes an eerie sensical pairing
for a 'Lost' Weekend, eh?
Chico: But back to Millionaire. markets will air Beyond with some unknown I've
never heard about, but no Millionaire. Why?
Gordon: What's Beyond?...oh the James Van Baaarf thing?
Chico: With two a's, buddy. My point exactly. No one knows what it is, but they
Gordon: I just felt like being Praaghmatic about the a's.
Chico: That was horrible.
Gordon: Yes it was - but anyways - this is the same thing with soap operas - the
belief is that phony people sell, real people don't - and they will never get
rid of that mentality.
Chico: Sickening thought I know, but alas, the reality of the situation. And
speaking of which... Survivor tonight...
Gordon: Ghandia better be hoping that the teammate switch is tonight
Chico: I believe it is. Any expectations?
Gordon: I used to hate this part, because I thought that people's fortunes get
screwed - but I think this year it could be fun. You now have both tribes being
split into 2 - men vs. women on Chuay Gahn, and Robb and Stephanie vs the world
on Sook Jai - the way that the tribes are split will be key to some people's
continued existence in the game. An unlucky break - Ghandia and 2 Chuay Gahn
guys, or Stephanie, Robb, and a member of the big 5 on Sook Jai can radically
change the game
Chico: Yeah. Imagine what would happen if the men and the world just switched.
That happens, Robb just got shagged. And not in the good way. I can imagine the
Chuay Gahn being incredibly pussy-footed if Shii Ann got in there.
Gordon: I think Shii Ann would be in a world of hurt if that happens, because I
dont think Chuay Gahn will accept her attitude in that tribe - not with the guys
galvanized and Stephanie waiting to turn on one of her own
Chico: Well, she's not with the guys, so maybe she'll fit right in. But enough
about that. What's up with the grabby-grabb from last week?
Gordon: Ted, I think, has seen one too many R Kelly 'Bump and Grind' Videos - or
seen one too many of R Kelly's real life orgy with 14 year old videos. Either
way, it comes down to 'he says, she says' - and I think if Ghandia was smart,
she would have calmed down - but she wasn't, she tried to get everyone against
Ted, and all of the guys saw right through it.
Chico: Doesn't know how to play the game. Simple as that.
Gordon: I think she tried to exploit it way too much - she just needed a small
spark to light the fire, and instead she used a barbecue grill. Smoked Ted
Chico: I'll take a drumstick. Alright, what's next?
Gordon: We're going to take a small commercial break, then do some role play
when we come back...
(Sponsored by Push Nevada. We know all of our clues are being exploited across
the internet, and we know that our show is more convoluted than Split Pea Soup,
but WATCH, US DAMMIT!)
Gordon: OK - we're back - and it's time for some role play - where each of us
takes over the role of a different person, given to us by the other person. For
example, Chico -
You are Todd Newton. Your show Whammy! just got renewed, you're doing Powerball,
and you're also doing an Entertainment-type news show called 'Hot Ticket' -
don't you get any sleep?
Chico: I'd so go for the obvious joke here... but I'll just say no.
Gordon: Ohhh - I laid it up for you...aren't you going to accept the punch line?
Chico: I would, but we're not going down Beverly Blvd, here...Damn did that just
Gordon: That's not the only thing that may be coming out...but let's not go
there. Chico, who am I?
Chico: Oh man, that almost sounds scripted. Okay...
You're Mark Walberg, host of such legendary games as The Big Date and Temptation
Island, as well as the reasonably successful Russian Roulette on Game Show
Network. I'm watching clips from the international versions and I'm wondering...
when'll we see you do that point-to-hole/hole-opens? I mean, do you even have
that power yet?
Gordon: I AM THE MIGHTY MARK WALBERG, KING OF THE JUNK FILLED SHOWS - Knowing
that I was once the announcer of Shop Til' You Drop. I fully realize that if
I am not careful, it may be my career that may be going down the hole. Since I
know that Todd Newton, not me, is Game Show Network's golden boy, I do what they
want - they want me to point at the hole, I point at the hole - they want me to
jump, I say how high, they want me to jump in the hole, I jump in the hole. Time
for one for Chico...
You are the team of Derek and Drew - the models on The Amazing Race. You've
already used up your Fast Forward because you're inherently dumb, and all of the
teams want to eliminate YOU next. How do you stay alive in the race?
Chico: Searching for work as window mannequins in each Pit Stop's location of
Abercrombie and Fitch.
Gordon: Hope one of the teams each week is hypnotized by your beauty?
Chico: I'm hoping it's either Eve or Heather, hell, maybe both.
Gordon: Because you want them around or because you want them gone?
Chico: Give me one of each.
Gordon: Ill take Heather, you take Eve
Chico: Deal! Okay, speaking of beautiful people...
You are Jim Haggenmiller... What can we do to get rid of you?
Gordon: How do you get rid of a 4 time game show veteran? I would think 1. Keep
giving me ridiculously hard questions, 2. Keep giving me $25 worth of breath
mints as my prize, or 3. Make sure all of my money goes to my wife instead of
Chico: 1 and 2 worked before, as for three... well, you're on your own on that
Gordon: Maybe give him $25 worth of hair tonic.
Chico: or Krispy Kremes (grade A product placement)
Gordon: Anyways. we'll take a break before we get our show pulled - for the
final segment, we'll have some quick predictions.
(This portion sponsored by product placement. Because in a world of VCRs,
pay-per-view, and TiVos, Commercials just don't do it for us anymore)
Chico: Welcome back, if you're just joining us, I'm watching Gordon put together
his Rubik's Cube... Got a few that time.
Gordon: I can't seem to get all of the oranges in the same corner...Anyways,
time for the quick wrap up. It's time for...The BIg Finish! Let's Start with
Survivor - I say the drawing of the lines proves fatal to Robb - and he's the
next person gone - you?
Chico: If Ghandia and Ted are together after this episode, Ghandia's gone.
Gordon: Sounds good - Amazing Race - who bites it next week?
Chico: The Crimson Guard Command of Derek and Drew - and yes, I know, only GI
Joe fans will get that, so I'll just call them the charge of the pretty boys.
Gordon: They're dumb, but I think Teri and Ian are dumber - the models come back
to pose for another day. Next prediction - Does Push, Nevada survive their full
Chico: .. I think so :) But then again, I'm always wrong.
Gordon: I say the episodes get cut down to 10 , instead of 13.
Chico: Sweep at 1000, do they survive to 2000?
Gordon: NO question about it - David Ruprecht is Cable's version of Dick Clark -
as long as he stays out of cameos in Swamp Thing TV episodes, he should be just
fine. Will you watch any of The Bachelor 2, Electric Boogaloo?
Chico: With Amazing Race on? You're kidding, right?
Gordon: I was hoping I'd get that response.
Chico: Okay, Beat the Geeks: survives two seasons. Will there be a third?
Gordon: Beat the Geeks will make it to round three as long as they have a Nudity
Geek, who is played by Sasha of the Swedish Bikini team. Any last words?
Chico: Anti-points go to Comedy Central for axing Ben Stein before its time. How
Gordon: Absolutely agreed - I think he should get a new game show gig - what
would you want to see him host next?
Chico: I'd like to see a US version of Mastermind.
Gordon: He would be great at it as long as he doesn't get stuck with a really
Chico: True. Okay, that's all. We'll do better next time.
Gordon: I'm Gordon.
Chico: I'm Chico, and until next time, Game Over.