November 12, 2005

Chico: Hey, Chico Alexander here. This is a special shout to the men and women of uniform. Thank you for defending our right to tell it like it is.
Gordon: And this is Gordon Pepper, saying that on that tangent, they had the semi-finals of Military Idol 2 weekends ago.
Don: How did that go?
Chico: Your boy in the contest?
Gordon: My boy Scott Willens did not make it to the finals, but he said that he had a blast.
Chico: Oh well. Guess he's going to have to find another way into GSNN.
Gordon: And that being said, from somewhere in America (and hopefully with the military reading this), WLTI...is...on!
Doug: (sings) Do you know the way to GSNN.
Chico: We'll get to the happy fun in a moment, but now, we have to intro our ruly mob here.
Gordon: I hope this crew does, because the talk is on already for GSC 5. Our first guest certainly knows the way there, as he is the co-moderator of the Game Show Tournament.
Chico: We are talking about the game show man himself... Joe Van Ginkel!
Joe: !SALUTE!
Gordon: Are you ready for 26 games in this year's tournament, Joe?
Joe: TWENTY-SIX GAMES?!?!?!
Gordon: 4 Days. 6 Shifts. The playoffs. 26 Games. We got the prizes too, and I'll give a little hint on that - the Wall of Stuff!
Joe: That's what I get for being late to the conference chat.
Chico: Second, one of our good friends from Buzzer! The Game Show Blog and third in line to replace Jimmy Carr, Alex Davis is here!
Alex: lol, thanks. Hey, if I have to replace any smartass game show host, it would be him. The best game show host we've had in years.
Chico: We're getting to that, Alex! :-)
Alex: lol, I'll bite my tongue and get back to playing bass.
Chico: Okay, Third, the Don of the Great White North, one of the five singers left on "But Can They Sing: The GSNN Edition", Don Harpwood!
Don: Sup?
Chico: Nada. Fourth in line, our resident Power Ranger... we think he's the green one, Brian Moore!
Brian: GIT-R-DONE!
Chico: AKA Brian the Cable Guy.
Brian: lol
Joe: Power Ranger? Amy Jo Johnson? WHERE?!?!
Don: lol
Joe: *looks around*
Chico: We were waiting for that, Joe :-)
Gordon: And finally, the man who is our special guest this week, the man who provided us our groovy Brainvision music, Mr. Doug Morris!
Doug: (trying to impersonate Mark Thompson) From the four corners of the gl... oh... wait... not yet. :-)
Gordon: We're getting there, Doug
Doug: I hear ya. Great to be on.
Chico: You also know him from RockTrax, WDAM, and Net Price is Right, where he does a spectacular voice over.
Doug: Thankee. :-) BTW, on Jay's behalf, thanks to everyone for coming on down and playing Net Price is Right.
Chico: *applause*
Joe: That's too bad he's ending it after ten years, Doug. NetGames won't be the same without it.
Doug: Indeed. Hate to see the end of an era. But, NMG-HSH, Net Poker and The Big Risk rocks on.
Chico: This is true. Jason Block's usually here, too, but as we write, he's in Holland playing poker for $25,000. I think I speak for everyone when I say, "Jason Block, you lucky son of a"...anyway, let's talk game shows!
Doug: OK
Don: Alright.
Brian: Definitely!
Chico: Hey, it's November, and you know what that means... Broomball gear out, everyone.. It's SWEEPS time!
Joe: I prefer a vacuum myself.
Chico: Always the iconoclast, Joe...
Doug: Ah, but vacuums suck.
Gordon: And sometimes, so do sweep stunts.
Don: Heh.
Alex: I forgot to get my bad pun guard out.
Joe: But of course. That's what I'm paid for.
Brian: I'd like a Dyson vacuum.
Chico: Those really suck... dirt.
Brian: Of course.
Chico: Anyway, let's talk about what happened this week that usually wouldn't happen starting with... oh, let's start with a few weddings, shall we?
Doug: (hums "Here Comes The Bride")
Chico: Millionaire had its annual every-eight-months-or-so Pay to Play for Your Wedding Week. And I can honestly say, these are some of the smartest couples I've ever seen.
Don: Yeah, these couples did quite well this week. Lowest winnings: $16,000. And the first couple set quite the bar by winning $100,000.
Doug: I've only gotten to see syndie WWTBAM on vacation. Doesn't air locally. :-(
Joe: That's too bad.
Chico: Yep. They had the entire show to themselves... And change for the second show. Tell me if you would've gotten this question: Who is the only U.S. astronaut to have flown on Mercury, Gemini, and Apollo missions? Guesses?

(silence)

Chico: How about I give the choices?
Joe: Yes, please.
Chico: A: James Lovell B: Alan Shepard C: Buzz Aldrin D: Wally Schirra
Joe: I'd say B.
Doug: I'll go with B.
Alex: Yeah, B
Chico: Anyone else?
Don: I still remember what the answer is from the show, so I'll keep quiet.
Gordon: I recuse myself for the same reason (Puts up the To Tell The Truth 'X' Card)
Brian: I'll say C.
Chico: Well, Joe and Doug... just be glad that Doug's married, Joe, because you two would've made a stupid couple :-) The answer was D.
Joe: Ai-yah. That was a guess anyways.
Doug: Darn. :-(
Brian: Crud!
Chico: Oh well.. At least you can tell us about WOF in New Orleans, Doug :)
Doug: Well, to say the least it was quite a blur. Night before we settled into our hotel in Slidell, then went out for dinner. It was after dinner we heard on WWL 870 Katrina made a major change in course. We wondered if WoF was going through with its plans to tape Saturday. A call to the convention center (yes, *that* convention center) confirmed the show was going to go on.
Chico: And it did. And you were in the crowd.
Doug: We'd planned to stay for the first three episodes of Saturday's tape day. But after the first two, we split. Yeah, the boom cam got good shots of us. Don't know if we'll get "on the air". Obviously, time has to be made for Pat and Vanna's disclaimers.
Chico: Yeah, obviously. And those two will air Monday and Tuesday, right?
Doug: Yes. (spoilers anyone?)
Chico: Not without an alarm, dude...
Gordon: Chico, the Spoiler alert, please?
Doug: Oh, of course. :-)
Brian: I'm going to the isolation booth.
Doug: Ten questions, 60 seconds... oh, wait, wrong show. :-)
Chico: (Spoiler picture) The following contains a spoiler. If you wish not to know the outcome of the next week on Wheel of Fortune, do not highlight!
Chico: Okay, Doug, you may safely spoil.
Doug: Dang, that trio of Ph.D's is creepy.
Chico: Not as creepy as Gordon after a ep of But Can They Sing :-)
Doug: Okie doke. Since our trip was made helter skelter due to Katrina, I honestly don't remember the contestant's name. Or even the bonus puzzle. All I remember is she spun the bonus wheel, she solved it correctly, Pat opened the envelope she landed on...and inside the envelope... $100,000!
Chico: Say it RIGHT!
Doug: Oh, sorry.... one-hundred-THOUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUsand dollars.
Chico: 'smore like it. :-)
Don: Sweet!
Doug: Thanks. Its only the second time in WOF history 100-grand was won outside of SoCal. And it happens on Monday's show.
Chico: Okay, someone get Brian out of the booth so we can talk ... uh.. Gordon, save me here.
(Spoiler Ends)
Brian: I'm back guys!
Joe: Booyah
Chico: Hi, Brian. Boy, did you miss a lot. :-)
Brian: I haven't seen the episode yet so, I won't miss a dang thing.
Doug: Yeah. AJJ was sitting on Joe's lap and everything. :-)
Joe: She was?!?!
Chico: *elbows Joe*
Joe: Oh, yes, she was.
Chico: Fair enough. Okay, who saw the Feud this week?
Brian: I did.
Don: I did.
Chico: It was Soap Opera Week, Naughty vs. Nice, or as Brian likes to say, "Badasses vs. Good Guys"
Brian: (As Stewie Griffin) Indeed!
Doug: Pretty much a throwback to the originals "Saints vs. Sinners" week.
Chico: Yep.
Gordon: And the week was overrun by smartass...I mean Badasses.
Chico: Yep.
Joe: Any hot women?
Chico: Yep.
Alex: Wow, the only thing that's holding them back to be even more classic now is a good host.
Chico: Yep.
Doug: LOL!
Chico: And wouldn't you know it, Doug Davidson had to play AGAIN. What is this, three times?!
Joe: Any suggestions on who might be a good replacement for Karn?
Chico: Well, Joe, I don't mean to brag, but... :-)
Joe: Besides me, of course. :D
Chico: Grrr.
Brian: How about Les Dennis. From Family Fortunes (UK Feud)
Chico: Cheater. He's already a host of the Feud :-)
Alex: Just anyone who is a good mix of Anderson's comedy and Karn's ability to host.
Chico: How about we make like Full Metal Alchemist and try to resurrect Ray Combs? I know people :-)
Doug: Feud just might be Todd Newton's alley.
Gordon: No offense to Todd, but I don't think he's a good fit for the show.
Alex: The most overrated host of the past decade.  He ruined himself on Whammy for me.
Chico: Actually, wasn't he ruined on Made in the USA?
Alex: I didn't watch that.
Chico: you weren't the only one, Alex.
Alex: But going nuts about someone hitting a $900 square?
Doug: Ditto for me.
Alex: I've just always thought Newton was far overrated. He was good on Hollywood Showdown, but everything else didn't click.
Brian: Hmmm...WTF?
Alex: Although the April Fools GSN host switch made me appreciate him a bit more
Chico: Yeah, I say he was pretty good on Russian Roulette.
Joe: Alex likes more sardonic hosts, methinks.
Alex: I'm a big RR fan so I'll object to saying anything about that, lol
Doug: Indeed. Even enjoyed him jumping through an open hole. :-)
Alex: I liked him jumping through the hole and not being seen anymore
Chico: Wow....
Joe: The open hole bit was priceless...although Mark L. Walberg doing that on the Playboy episode was funnier.
Gordon: Speaking of things we hope to see disappear, we have But Can They Sing.
Joe: Blaaaaaaaaaaaah.
Doug: Ugh. I watched that for 2 minutes and flipped to something else.
Alex: I fell asleep during Best Week Ever once and accidentally had that on when I woke up. What a load of crap.
Brian: Boring!
Gordon: There is one good thing about the show.
Chico: That is?
Gordon: Bai Ling wearing almost nothing =)
Chico: You would, you horny little tit. :-)
Doug: Best Week Ever ... worst show ever? :-)
Alex: lol, pretty close
Joe: O_o
Chico: Celebrities singing... Don't think the world is ready for that. At least not for what I saw.... Yiiiiick.
Gordon: Continuing the reviews, what do you guys think of the Jeopardy College Championship so far?
Chico: Why do they pick the gomers from UNC? I mean, I tried out for Greed, right? And instead of me, they pick some chick who bombed out on the $25,000 question.
Doug: OW!
Chico: Now we have Christopher Chilton, who was left with all but a buck after he went against his gut.
Brian: Personality over brains, B******t.
Chico: But otherwise... I have to wonder if any of the 15 players actually did their homework. I just have three favorites going into the semi. Beth Cimini, Nico Martinez, and Adam Pinson.
Gordon: Yes, but the favorites are powerhouses.
Chico: Well, Beth and Adam are, Nico is Charlie Numbers in the Final Jeopardy! and that's why he's a favorite.
Joe: Charlie Numbers? Well, I'm Big Joe Numbers.
Don: I still like Adam's response to Thursday's Final.
Chico: The clue, if I may...In 2004, Billboard's first top 20 chart for these included "My Boo", the "Halloween" theme & "Ice Ice Baby". Adam's response, Don?
Don: "What is the worst songs ever?"
Chico: You forgot the Macarena, dog. Ringtones, actually. So who're you guys's favorites?
Gordon: Actually, I agree with your 3 choices (Gasp!)
Don: Same here.
Chico: WHA!!!
Gordon: It just seems like there's a huge gap between them and everyone else.
Chico: I know this is going to be a copout, but what better way to end this segment than to just say... "Anyone but NC State."
Gordon: Has anyone seen the Jeopardy DVD yet?
Chico: Yes.
Doug: Any good?
Chico: Best $5 I ever spent.
Brian: I have yet to get it.
Joe: Fun stuff. The first episode is a trip.
Brian: In time back to 1984.
Chico: *rimshot* You look at the first show, and then you look at the others, and you see what a jump we've made.
Doug: The DVD's on my Christmas gift "wants" list.
Joe: You guys knew I saw Ken's 75th in person, right?
Chico: No I didn't.
Doug: (impersonates Carson) I did not know that.
Joe: Yep. It was just after the 2004 GSC.
Don: I didn't know that, either.
Joe: Jason Hernandez was supposed to be there, but he got there late.
Chico: Now if you saw the Ultimate Final in person.. That would've been amazing.
Joe: I don't think they let anyone see the Ultimate Final. I could be wrong though.
Chico: Exactly why it would've been amazing.
Joe: Good point.
Chico: Indeed.
Joe: But the first game of that series is an all-time classic.
Chico: We also see Alex fresh off of Battlestars and looking ... well... a bit hairier.
Joe: And with less grey.
Doug: Yup, and I'm sure he's all the more thankful to Merv. After all, he could've been talking to some guy named Malcolm five days a week.
Chico: Oh yeah. Instead, he talks to some dude from Salt Lake for 75 days. Huge trade up.
Joe: Yeah, actually.
Doug: Heheh.
Gordon: So Doug, we usually set up for Brainvision at this point. Before we do that, is there anything you'd like to say?
Joe: Uh-oh...here it comes...
Doug: Sure... (impersonating Mark Thompson) From the four corners of the globe...
Gordon: wait wait wait.
Chico: Roll that live brain footage!
Joe: (cue "Move Closer to Your World")
Gordon: It's Roll that Beautiful Brain Footage, Dopey.
Doug: ...to your frontal lobe... this is WLTI Brainvision News... with the award winning Brainvision News team.
Chico: Fine. Roll that live beautiful brain footage! :-)
Joe: It's rolling, it's rolling.
Doug:  (impersonating Mark Thompson) From the four corners of the globe...to your frontal lobe... this is WLTI Brainvision News... with the award winning Brainvision News team.
Chico: *applause*
Don: Nice.
Doug: (takes bow)
Chico: Think we'll keep you, Doug. anyway.
Doug: Anytime. (holds up "announcer for hire" sign)
Chico: Gordon, what've you got to start?
Gordon: We start with Millionaire...sort of.

Regis Philbin, the first host of USA's Millionaire, will now be the most current host of the revised 'This is Your Life'.

Chico: Airing on what network?
Joe: ABC, IIRC. Let's just hope they profile people worth profiling.
Gordon: It is ABC, indeed. I just don't know if it will be any good.
Chico: Seems like this guy is always in service for the Mouse, you know?
Doug: They picked a great emcee all right. Just hope for good subjects. If I see "Richard Hatch, this is your life", I'm changin' the channel.
Chico: you and everyone else in the country.
Gordon: Next article?
Chico: Next article... We're going to the beginning and the ends..

The ends: We have finale dates for "The Apprentice: Martha Stewart" and "Survivor Guatemala". The Beginnings: Distraction starts in January. The Apprentice finale will be December 21. Survivor will be December 11.

Doug: Anyone know if Annie Lennox will perform the theme song in the finale?
Chico: No idea.
Alex: Wow, I'm listening to a Eurythmics song right now, that was strange.
Chico: That is strange...
Doug: Funny how irony can be an ironic thing, isn't it?
Alex: I know.
Don: Yeah.
Chico: Still no word on Trump's Apprentice, though. Next, Gordon?

Once again, there's been a death in the game show world. This time, it's John Rice, who was a dwarf/Emcee in 'That @#$% Quiz Show'. GSNN sends our condolences.

Chico: hear here. Twin brother Greg must be going through a lot.
Doug: I honestly didn't know the twins hosted a game show.
Chico: I believe a moment is in order...

(silence)

Chico: Thank you. Next up....

A former Millionaire champion struck gold in the Mastermind chair opposite John Humphrys this week. Pat Gibson took that title, becoming the first in the UK to be champions of both that show and Millionaire.

Alex: That's quite an amazing feat.
Don: Congrats to Mr. Gibson.
Chico: His specialty category was Father Ted. All I know is that the dude from "My Hero" was on it.
Alex: It's a really funny show
Chico: Really funny?
Alex: To me at least, but I love Britcoms.
Chico: Anyway, the research shows that he took "a crystal bowl" signifying his victory. I know how it is, Alex... I too am a fan of the Britcoms. My Hero being a sentimental favorite.
Joe: I'll stick to Danger Mouse, thanks.
Alex: Gotta go with Faulty Towers.
Brian: I liked Goodness Gracious Me.
Gordon: Monty Python here.
Chico: Everyone goes for Fawlty Towers.
Doug: But, Gordon, nobody expects the Spanish inquisition.
Chico: Gordon... Hoes go to Fawlty Towers?
Joe: Hoes go everywhere, Chico.
Gordon: I prefer Monty Python's Flying Hoes.
Alex: I'm going to have good dreams tonight, Gordon. Flying hoes, thanks.
Chico: *plays Ludacris' "Area Codes"* I should tell you... there're a lot of hoes this week... More so than usual, so I warn Gordon... to breathe periodically.
Joe: ROFL
Gordon: In this week's Media Ho Report...

We start with a new set - We'll be seeing the Family Edition of...The Biggest Loser, so welcome the Ho Family!

Doug: What's next? A family version of "Survivor"?
Chico: There's an obvious joke here, but I'll let you continue, G.

Donald Trump sells some casinos, Bud Paxson finally sells off his network, Simon Cowell has a favorite for AI 5 - who he forgets...

Joe: Oh boy. AI roundtables again. (Thank God it isn't for another few months. :D)

The Donald gets verbally accosted by The Markus, while the wife of Billy Joel will now be the host of Top Chef...

Chico: Kaite Lee should be mine =p
Doug: As for Markus, jeez, Louise. What a classless way to exit the boardroom after a firing.

Finally, Vince Neil from Motley Crue has his own Poker tournament in Las Vegas and the singing Idol hoes in Australia may be getting a revote due to the change in Daylight Savings time.

Gordon: All done. Pant, pant pant.
Chico: Walk it off, Gordon..
Doug: Is one of Vince's bandmates playing in said tourney?  I just want to see the image of "pocket cam" of 6-6 ... for Nikki Sixx's hand. Another moment of irony.
Gordon: What's the last article, Chico?
Chico: And speaking of irony, I defer the last article to Alex for some GSN news, Alex. What've you got for us here?
Alex: Uh, depends what you're looking for, lol. There's a ton right now.
Chico: I hear about marathons in Thanksgiving.
Alex: Oh, yeah.
Chico: Well, how about a brief synop of stuff here.

There's a 2 day Amazing Race marathon, because we know how well The Amazing Race is doing I guess. Uh, the network has a .3 average, the lowest in God knows when. At least lowest since pre 2000.

Alex: And beyond that, the general complaining about "WHY DOESN"T GSN SHOW GAME SHOWS ANYMORE", which is incredibly annoying.
Chico: Right, what of it?
Brian: Because of FremantleMedia's restrictions.
Alex: That's not even close. And I said it this morning to complainers: I'm sure TPiR was getting great ratings on Game Show Network, they would have done everything they could to keep it.  I don't know what's going on with ratings.  I mean, the schedule is all game shows except for like four shows
Joe: Because the powers that be have this bizarre delusion that no one wants to watch game shows anymore.
Doug: I figured TAR would help things.
Joe: So did I.
Alex: It was before. But I don't know anymore.
Chico: I guess when you start rerunning it, things take a turn.
Alex: That $6,000,000 might have been better spent on new episodes of originals. Here's my thing, and GSN won't do it ever. It's time to admit mistake and go back to Game Show Network basically.  And that's not far from what they have.
Brian: Yes!
Chico: Worked for Coke.
Alex: GSN is, after 2 years, a failure.
Joe: Agreed.
Alex: Not a total failure, but it's getting close.
Brian: The Network For Games, forget it!
Alex: It's the network for games.
Chico: I'd just count our losses and move on.
Doug: The poker shows are entertaining on GSN. But the rest... OY!
Alex: Look, the only non game on the network is SpyTV
Chico: So Kenny and Spenny are gone then...
Alex: The only non game shows are SpyTV, TAR, Love Connection, and Extreme Dodgeball. If you don't want to be as liberal with the term game show, put the poker and blackjack shows in there.
Brian: What about BallBreakers?
Alex: But that's it. BallBreakers is a game show.
Brian: Oh.
Chico: Ballbreakers is a game show, Brian. The same vein as "The Perfect Shot" (I think that's what it's called).
Doug: Oh, yeah, forgot about BB. Frankly, that's a keeper.
Alex: It is.
Gordon: It's not even that, You can have a network with poker shows. The problem is that it's all of the new shows GSN is doing. the 6 million could have been spent for at least 2 or 3 new shows that are more in the 'Classic' Game Show Vein. There is something called too much of a good thing.
Alex: Look at Ballbreakers's timeslots now. Saturday at 11PM.  Not too good. What GSN should have done is this. They needed to bring back their big 3 originals: Lingo, Whammy, and Russian Roulette.  Each of those in new episodes got above a .6, double what GSN and most shows are getting now.  Hell, make weekly episodes of Roulette and daily of Lingo/Whammy.
Doug: Oh, and if they need more originals, expand "Casino Night Challenge" into a full-fledged show.
Chico: You can bust a budget on a weekly Roulette.
Alex: They HAVE to do something about Millionaire soon.
Chico: How about getting the rights to the syndie shows?
Alex: What they should have done also is buy some syndie Millionaire. First season should be available.  2nd season is a maybe. Millionaire, within a matter of 2 months, dropped 3 tenths of a rating point. And it's down even more now.
Doug: Agreed. Especially if, again, for poor schmucks like me who don't have a station to watch it on.
Alex: I can't believe I'm saying this, but more variety is needed also on the basis of this.
Brian: I lose access to GSN back in December of 2003 and this s**t happens.
Gordon: The exodus from regular cable hasn't helped.
Alex: I'm making a prediction: if GSN does not go back to what they use to do, which would mean basically dropping the rights to 2 or 3 shows, they will be gone by 2007.
Chico: Very good point. Okay, we've got to move on, Alex. Thanks.
Alex: NP.
Chico: Okay, that was Brainvision, and coming up next, we throw out Categories, and Gordon gets nice with the ladies... Because he's all about the ladies.
Gordon: When we come back, we'll get to talk familiar hierarchy and Jeopardy hierarchy. You'll see what we mean when we come back from the break.

(Brainvision News is presented by the Best of GSN: The Network for Games. All on ONE DVD.)

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