October 29, 2005

Gordon: This is Gordon Pepper, and I am just wondering what everyone is going to be this Halloween.
Chico: A 1up mushroom. You?
Gordon: I have decided that I want to be...a Media Ho.
Jason: Which Ho in particular?
Gordon: John O Ho'Ley!
Chico: *rimshot*
Gordon: What's everyone else going to be?
Jason: Me...I am going as a poker player.
Gordon: That's good - because we know you're not one in real life.
Jason: We'll get to that in a minute!
Gordon: What about Brian and Mike?
Mike: I must take a pass this year. There is no time for Halloween. Anyhow, I generally don't celebrate Halloween.
Gordon: So Mike is going as Gloomy Gus. and you, Brian?
Mike: ...
Brian: Hmmm...Pac-Man.
Chico: Good choice. But for now... from somewhere in America, the All Hallows' Eve edition of WLTI.. is... on! Chico Alexander with you alongside the triumvirate of terror, which Gordon'll intro right now.
Gordon: And glad it is too. Let's introduce the guests. From Beat the Block, the man who FINALLY gets a win - and may be winning a lot more in 2 weeks, Mr. Jason Block.
Jason: Thank you. I have to say I won't be here in 2 weeks... I will be in a far far away place...the land of real hos and marijuana brownies... Amsterdam!
Brian: Wow.
Jason: I won a sweepstakes through a certain beer company that rhymes with Hamstel Right.
Mike: Don't forget to get us some souvenirs, like some of those brownies.
Gordon: And what are you going to be doing there, Jay?
Jason: I am playing in a Texas Hold Em Tournament--winner take all---25,000 dollars.
Mike: How many people are participating?
Jason: 6.
Mike: DAMN! I like those odds!
Jason: And I am playing the finals at the Holland Casino.
Chico: Bring back a hat :-)
Mike: And some cheese too, the type you can spend. Looking at the odds of winning a trip to Holland, Jason really bucked some wicked odds. The chance of winning a grand prize is 1 in 140,834. Well done, my friend!
Gordon: Jason is the human good luck charm.
Jason: You found the sweeps huh?
Mike: Yes. I wanted to do some investigating. Assuming we're all of legal age (and I think everybody is), details can be found at http://www.amstellight.com/poker
Jason: Even better I didn't win it instantly. I won it through a 2nd chance drawing.
Mike: There is no winner's list as of now, but we know who's coming home with the jack and some gratis brownies for the WLTI crew.
Gordon: And buy a cooler for the cheese. Next up - the tallest man as the TPIR tapings in CA this past Tuesday, Mr. Mike Klauss.
Mike: And also the one with the most bad advice. I got chided by family, friends, and even my students!
Brian: And I was one of the people who have seen him on TV with some of the GSNN crew.
Jason: I thought Ryan Vickers was taller.
Mike: I got a surprise call on my cell phone from my cousin in Tampa, who said I sucked at giving advice. We're both the same height. I win the tiebreaker due to girth. :-P
Brian: I've noticed Ben Ziek at the end of the front row of the audience.
Jason: The crew included Ben, Travis, myself, Gordon, Chico, Ryan, Mike.
Mike: And that mystery man between Ryan and Don Howard, Robert Royko.
Chico: And then there was Dave Peffer?
Gordon: That would be him.
Mike: How did he infiltrate our group anyhow?
Gordon: Infiltration was last week, Mike =)
Chico: But perhaps the most notorious member of our little motley crew... Mary Carrie Bailey. She told me she goes by Carrie. We'll get to that later, though.
Gordon: Finally, the man who just watched all of us on television, Mr. Brian Moore. Are you going to go to the Game Show Congress next year, Brian?
Brian: I don't know if I am going to GSC next year.
Gordon: Boooo.
Brian: I'll have to wait and see.
Gordon: We will no longer have to wait and see for the TPIR tapings - as Mary Bailey represents GSC proudly, winning a popcorn cart, among other goodies.
Jason: That was a blast.
Chico: Best time of my life.
Mike: I saw the show three times on Tuesday night alone. That was so much fun.
Jason: But we were so upset for Mary as we didn't help her win her showcase. She, as usual, was gracious as ever.
Mike: She was the best contestant I've seen on TPiR for some time. She was enthusiastic, fun, and knew the rules to the games. The way Mary said "That's too much!" always gets a laugh out of me.
Chico: An appeal to Mary, Paul, Janessa Lowgus (who won that day), or Jacob Greenman (who was in line with us and won the next day)... If any of you are reading this, drop us a line. We'd love to hear from you!
Gordon: So that's one taping that we've been to that's now been aired. The other taping - Jeopardy. Is anyone pining for the return of David Madden yet?
Jason: No.
Mike: No. I think the bland winner from the past two nights might stay on for at least another 3-5 eps. He's the best player in the post-Madden era.
Jason: So far yes. He is very good.
Chico: Decent enough, yeah.
Gordon: I'm looking for a 5 time winner. There are usually 10-15 of them in a season. The only person who was won 5 times so far is Madden. how come?
Chico: But I'll tell you... First though, a SPOILER ALARM (siren) The following events are based on information that we have received that may happen in the coming weeks. IF you don't want to know what happened, DO NOT HIGHLIGHT!

Chico: There is supposed to be another one forthcoming. According to the people at our taping. You suppose this is the one? Out of the 10-15 you mentioned?
Mike: If you can give out the info, did the ep. you guys attended air yet?
Jason: No. It will air on Thanksgiving Day and the next one.
Mike: Ah yes, because of the College Tourney.
Jason: Which is next week or the week after.
Mike: One of the clues on an ep. this week started off with "As of August 5, 2005...", so if this champ lasts some time, it'll apparently be maybe 10-12 days.
Gordon: According to our spies, there is a woman who will hang around for $100,000+, then the guy that we saw (who played great) wipes her out and starts a run of his own.

*SPOILER ENDS*

Gordon: We want to see more 5 Time Jeopardy Champions. Do we want to see more models?
Chico: Models, models, and more models. Seems like we can't get enough of'em. Or at least UPN thinks so, as they embed most of their programming with subjects of their highest-rated program this year.
Jason: Hey, I give UPN credit. I never thought ANTM would be as big of a program it has been. And Tyra Banks has the #1 new talk show of this year, am I right?
Chico: Surprisingly. Personally, I think it's self-gratifying talk from a hired mannequin.
Gordon: A sexy mannequin with nice pineapples.
Chico: She's basically proof that they'll give anyone with the face presence a talk show.
Mike: Martha's not doing better than Tyra? Interesting.
Jason: Martha is #2 and doing well.
Gordon: I don't think her ratings are doing well at all. It's all a matter of perspective. Tyra's 1.9 rating is much better than hoped for. Martha's 1.7
average, though second, is considered a huge disappointment according to the media prognosticators.
Mike: I saw Martha yesterday morning. (Before you revoke my masculinity license, my sister had control of the remote that hour since I got to watch TPiR an hour later.) Martha is actually decent, but I'm veering to it because Martha's not making doilies out of used pantyhose or cooking up baked Alaska for 32. And that's a good thing.
Chico: Pretty much.
Mike: Martha's show has more talk than her old Living show.
Jason: So how well is ANTM doing?
Gordon: ANTM is UPN's current Flagship show - and still getting record ratings for UPN. As for the idea of the models invading every show - I have no problem with that a the models are doing what they are getting 'paid' to do - model, act and look pretty.
Chico: Why not. Let them have their fun. They'll be presenting stuff like "The Look For Less" in two years :-) Either that or becoming a blog whore.
Gordon:  It's not like you are asking them to do something completely different, such as...ahem...sing. Anyone for singing celebrities?
Jason: No No...a thousand times no!
Chico: Singers... uhhh... ow? Could be worse, though... Can I get a Board, please?
Gordon: You got it.

Chico: Subject: Think Tanks: Half-Full or Almost Empty? Seems like we're getting news of pitches at a feverish pace. Now you get to tell me what the chances are of each of these ideas making it past development hell.  And I should mention that all of these are true. No bull(^_^).
Gordon: Well wait a sec here. You could make a case that television is finally trying some new and different ideas and is finally thinking out of the box
Mike: No bull(^_^)? The networks must be desperate.
Chico: Besides, you think that stuff is a good idea, you can just outright tell us.
Gordon: On with the ideas!
Chico: First up: The World Series of (wait for it...) Darts.
Jason: I watch it on Fox Sports. I will watch.
Mike: As do I. I will definitely watch.
Brian: I'll give it a look-see.
Gordon: I watch it too - when I need to be induced into a coma-like power nap.
Chico: I don't think darts could be any less interesting just watching.
Gordon: It's much less interesting watching. The title should be World Series of Dartzzzzzzzzzz.
Jason: Hater. :-)
Gordon: That's Me. Haterade at your service.
Chico: You know poker... pool... blackjack, they have an audience factor that makes it enjoyable. Darts is just pub sports that isn't any fun unless you're either a part .. or drunk.
Mike: Darts is like poker--either you like it or you don't. I've tried pushing darts and poker onto others. They don't see why I like it.
Chico: They see why I like poker :-) Even my sister, who doesn't get it, sees why I like poker.
Mike: The interactivity factor with darts is minimal. It's not like you can predict an awesome AA vs. KK showdown. It's fat drunk guys throwing weapons at a corkboard.
Gordon: I think you need to make it full contact darts - a little shoving to force you to throw off balance. That could be fun.
Chico: Or even better... the airhorn/Nerf gun. Remember Let's Bowl? THAT was entertaining!
Gordon: Exactly my point, sir. Next?
Chico: Next up, America's Next Muppet. Muppet characters are released, then you get to vote for one who will go on to hang with Kermit, Piggy, and all them. Now I think this can be cute...
Gordon: It's reality show. It's Muppets. It's a silly rip-off. I'll be watching this.
Mike: This is the first time the Muppets have been in primetime since Muppets Tonight almost a decade ago, no?
Chico: Correct, Mike. Or it can blow up in the memory of Jim Henson. But then again, they said the same thing about "Muppet Babies."
Mike: Everybody loves the Muppets. I see no reason why it can't work.
Jason: This is going to be fun. Muppets rule. End of story.
Chico: Word.
Gordon: Muppet Babies had a soul all it's own and kept the spirit of the Muppets. If this show will do the same and presents us what made it special to begin with, then they will have a medium sized hit.
Jason: Kermit and Miss Piggy mark all the way.
Chico: ABC looks like they're going full speed ahead with this without giving away too many details. They did this with Millionaire and look what happened.  Next up... Top of the key, off the backboard... caught for a lay-in... nothin' but net. Sound familiar?
Jason: Basketball.
Chico: More specific, J.
Jason: Horse.
Chico: Right. Now imagine celebs doing that.
Jason: No, Chico. I won't. And I wont watch.
Gordon: It's a horrible idea - but it would be more interesting to see than darts, at least.
Chico: True. And here's something that will scare Gordon.
Gordon: The Schwab in a thong?
Chico: This isn't the first time HORSE was on TV. Remember Mark Cuban's LOSER?
Gordon: I was going to bring it up actually. I didn't like it when it was on the Benefactor as a segment. I'm not going to like it now as an entire show.
Chico: Not even with Phil Gurin and Magic Johnson heading?
Mike: Which network will air this?
Chico: We don't know yet, Mike. They're still shopping it around.
Gordon: ESPN is making a play at it, Mike, but nothing is definite.
Mike: It's way too specialized. The only places I could see it landing are ESPN or Fox Sports. It would look way out of place anywhere else. The basic premise sounds a lot more entertaining than Teammates. Admittedly, that's not saying much...
Gordon: If they add enough bells and whistles to it, then it could be something.
Chico: No.
Jason: I don't care. P-E-R-I-O-off the roof---D!
Gordon: I don't think that they will find the right bells and whistles for this to work - and celebrities playing against pros in horse isn't as big of a draw as Pros Vs. Joes - where Spike TV is doing the same thing already, but with more sports to it.
Chico: I'll care about that.
Gordon: Next topic?
Chico: Will you care about American Inventor? Simon Cowell & ABC's latest pet project? Like Made in the USA... only with kiddies and Simon?
Jason: Have to see the way they edit it.
Mike: We didn't care about Made in the USA...
Gordon: The only saving grace that Cowell got was that they saw what USA did and why it didn't work. I personally think that instead of one invention, the geniuses should have a weekly assignment just to see what they can do - like what Project Runway did with their designers. If you MUST add the call-in, then do so, but don't give us the same inventions. We saw what happened with that.
Chico: *raspberries* And finally, the only one of these to actually see the light of day as of this taping... But Can They Sing?
Gordon: We'll get to see them this coming Sunday at 10pm on VH1.
Jason: (runs away) no way will I watch that.
Mike: No no no no no no no no no no no no no.
Chico: Will it go the way of Best Week Ever or The New Partridge Family?
Gordon: We will do a roundtable - the question is does anyone want to subject themselves to it?
Jason: No.
Chico: I have no choice, do I, Gordon?
Gordon: Nope
Chico: Damn you, Pepper. Damn you to hell.
Gordon: Just think of it as a warm up to Idol 5 when it starts up in January.
Jason: Bad Karaoke Idol, but yes.
Mike: Warm-up? You must be kidding.
Chico: This is the warmup? Yes I had the six pack of beer here?
Mike: This is more like the warm-up for season 2 of Danny Bonaduce going ape(^_^) on everybody and their mother.
Gordon: I can't possibly see them sounding better than the Idol singers - can you?
Chico: Ummm... no.
Jason: No way.
Chico: See the Idols have an x-factor.. They're actually good.
Jason: Some of them are. See: Scott Savol.
Chico: Touche.
Gordon: Scott was actually very good in the original auditions. He just self-destructed when it was showtime, though he did back up his claim that he would be on the show through April.
Mike: Plus the Idol participants are just like you and me--normal people. They're not C-list celebrities who can't get a job since Hollywood Squares isn't on the air any longer.
Chico: Well, from TV time we go to the most awkward cab ride in the history of everything ever. Who saw the Apprentice last week?
Gordon: I did. Make that cab ride a very cramped one.
Mike: I did, for once.
Chico: I've said it before... I'll say it again... Best.... episode... ever.
Gordon: Awesome episode.
Mike: That was also the coldest cab ride ever. I was disinterested in The Apprentice after the 2nd season. Suddenly, with one massive wipeout, I'm into this series.
Chico: Imagine that. I was interested after Jennifer Murphy kept mispronouncing "Zathura".
Gordon: You have to figure that there have been around 70+ exercises. These companies pay good money to get on television to see their stores make a profit - and all of them almost do. This is the FIRST time in the HISTORY of ALL of the Apprentice shows that not only does a team not win, but it LOSES money for Donald's clientele. The Donald is pissed and rightfully so.
Jason: Dick's Sporting Goods, if I remember right.
Chico: Correct.
Jason: And he went nuts.
Chico: And while one team goes golf crazy ringing in a 74% increase of sales, another goes the way of the dodo with baseball, posting a 34% loss. That wasn't a loss. That was decimation.
Gordon: It should be very fun to see the first few minutes of the next episode, just to see the aftermath.
Chico: Like... "Where is everybody?"
Mike: One of the best reality TV moments of this year will happen when nobody returns from the boardroom.
Brian: And I may say...good riddance!
Chico: Oh yeah. Definitely in the running for the Best of 2005.  And I agree, Brian. Perhaps they'll end up in the Media Ho Report on a future WLTI... Which reminds me...
Brian: Yes!!!
Chico: Jason... It's time.
Mike: Is this the part of the show where Gordon shows off his Halloween costume?
Jason: Jackets.
Chico: Jackets! Mice! Cheese! Footage!
Jason: and mice. Here we go...
Chico: Doug!
Gordon: Roll the Beautiful Brain Footage

(*Move Closer*  From the four corners of the globe to your frontal lobe, this is WLTI Brainvision News with the award-winning Brainvision News team.)

Gordon: We start it off with...Treats!
Chico: Peanut butter cups?
Brian: Twizzlers?
Mike: Brownies from Holland?

Wheel and Jeopardy, not-surprisingly, get renewed for 2 more years through the 2010 season. Wheel is still in first place and Jeopardy is rotating between third and fourth place in syndication.

Chico: Thanks, Oprah. No, really.
Jason: Wheel had a good week this week.
Mike: 3rd and 4th?
Jason: The ratings were so high with KenJen
Mike: I thought Wheel and J! had been 1-2 for years, even before KenJen came along.
Chico: This year, we have a double digit dropoff due to lack of Ken Jennings.
Gordon: It's not as high with Ken Jen, but third place (and sometimes 4th when Oprah bounces over them) is nothing to sneeze at.
Chico: No, this was announced per the Futon Critic earlier this month.
Gordon: On a side note, this week is NBA week on Wheel.
Chico: Good segue!
Gordon: Next article, Chico?

This week, NBA and WNBA stars will be playing for hurricane relief, among other causes, on Wheel of Fortune.

Chico: It's your standard athletes on "Wheel" week, with players teaming up with athletes and matching wins.
Jason: Usual good stuff.
Chico: Usually.
Mike: Good stuff but I still won't watch Wheel.
Jason: I know, I know.
Gordon: Bah to you. I got the next one...

We lose a famous historical icon as Rosa Parks passes away this week. She was on a few game shows - which GSN aired this past week.

Gordon: Can we have a moment of silence, please?

(silence, head bows)

Gordon: Rosa - you will be missed.
Chico: Will be missed indeed. While we're on GSN... and parlor games in general...

GSN has two new poker shows in the offing as well as the return of the World Series of Blackjack, and AMC has reupped Celebrity Charades for a second season.

Chico: The first poker game is High Stakes Poker, where contestants will dole out their own cash for the chance at more money. It's what they call in the business "a cash game."
Jason: I love cash games.
Chico: The second is "Poker Royale: Battle for the Ages". It's... well, another Poker Royale, where elders go against young whippersnappers.
Gordon: It sounds good to me - Poker is something I can watch all day.
Chico: Can't go wrong with that... Well, it depends on who you ask. I won't go into that, I'll just say read TNG this week. Gordon?
Gordon: Who wants some poker playing hos?
Chico: *plays Area Codes*
Jason: I am going to Amsterdam...sounds good to me.

In this week's Media Ho report, Janice Dickinson gets her own reality show, Merv Griffin bets on the horses for the Breeder's Cup, The Donald charges $25,000 a minute for his time, Gordon Ramsey sparks a fire with a naughty comment on female cooks and we get a bunch of singing hos on VH1 this Sunday.

Jason: May I expand on the Donald's money?
Chico: Sure why not.
Jason: The Donald was paid $1.5 Million to speak for one hour at a Learning Annex Financial Expo here in NYC last weekend. Over 3,000 people paid $179 a person for the expo.
Chico: That's.... *calculator* ... a hell of a lot of money.
Jason: There were a ton of financial and personal experts there including Tony Robbins and Robert Miyazaki, of Rich Dad, Poor Dad fame.
Gordon: That's $537,000 made - which seems paltry compared to the 1.5 mil paid out
Jason: They had to have made a lot more. Hold on a sec. The VIP Tickets were $500 a pop. That makes things a bit different.
Chico: That's another $1.5 mill.
Jason: Still a lot of money for the Donald.
Gordon: Cool - last article, Chico?
Chico: I want his paycheck.
Brian: Me too.

Finally, we have on the home game front, two new releases: Wheel of Fortune and World Poker Tour.

Chico: The first, Wheel of Fortune: the Plug'n'Play TV game. Simply put, you plug these babies into your AV jacks on your TV or DVD player, switch on the input, and you are in the game. Ideal for Game Show Tournament play.
Brian: Great.
Jason: Nice.
Gordon: Sounds good to me.
Chico: Second is World Poker Tour. If you have a PS2, an Xbox, or GBA, Mike, you can get into any of the WPT satellites for your own run at the final table. Features Mike, Vince, Shana and the whole lot. No word on newbie Courtney Friel yet. And if you're online, you can play in online tournaments.
Jason: Have you played it yet?
Chico: Yes I have, actually. It's pretty good. And at an asking price of $20, you can't afford not to give it a try.
Brian: Is the online component Broadband only?
Chico: More than likely, yes.
Brian: Darn it. Oh, well.
Jason: oh well indeed.
Brian: I only have dial-up.
Mike: The GBA version of WPT is very similar to the plug 'n play game--cash games, satellites, and tournaments to the different WPT venues. The differences are better graphics and there are 4 games (NL Texas Hold Em, Limit Hold Em, Omaha, and Crazy Pineapple). Overall, it's the best of the 3 poker games available for the GBA.
Chico: That's Brainvision. Yay.
Gordon: We'll be plugging in 5 good reasons when we come back from the break. This is the show and these are the guys - Next!

(Brainvision News has been brought to you by Media Ho Poker. When you win, the hos get to tell you about how good they are and what shows they've been in...maybe you're better off losing.)

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