Chico: Hello, everybody. This is Chico Alexander... and it's the last show of the season. You know what that means..
Jason B: Drinks for everyone!
Chico: Oh... yeah.
Gordon: Free ipods from the leftover My Kind of Town prize supply?
Chico: And naked calendars.
Gordon: You can keep the naked calendars, you perv.
Chico: Pot kettle black, G. Pot kettle black.
Gordon: The naked calendars that I'd want would be towns represented by the Swedish bikini team
Tom: uh, I'll take a calendar, please.
Jason B: oooh...what a nice set of fjords.
Chico: You mean like Yerffenerrfenerffenerffen?
Jason B: Yeah.
Tom: oh, now you're getting filthy.
Chico: I've only started =p Gordon, show'm my motto!
Gordon: For the last time this season, from somewhere in America, WLTI...is...on!
Chico: Wow. Nine whole seasons... It feels like three years =p
Gordon: And since we're on endings, let's start with what we've been joking about this morning. My Kind of Town has been given the gate by ABC after only 4 episodes.
Jason B: Gordon--you had it right. Inside joke...no one got it.
Chico: Not surprisingly. It's like a giant injoke... and no one... yeah, what J said.
Gordon: Nope, and before we let this be too much of an inside joke, let us introduce the players. From Beat the Block in NYC, it's Jason Block.
Tom: yay! woo hooo!
Jason B: Thank you. I should be back on air either on the 20th or the 27th for Season 3! And it streams live on wplj.com. Tuesdays...7:45EST...be there.
Chico: Going for an undefeated season?
Jason B: I will do my best. I will try to bring my record to 34 or 35- 1?
Gordon: You are going to promo us on WPLJ, are you not?
Jason B: I will try. :-)
Chico: And also on the horn with us, some dude we met while we were at
Congress who happened to take NBC for 50 large one morning.
Gordon: Our other player is a very special guest who has stormed
Caesar's Challenge for over $50,000 worth of goodies. I am proud to introduce to you Mr. Tom Gauer.
Jason B: (applause)
Tom: (crickets chirp)
Chico: Yay.
Jason B: The man who's game show music made me put both of my game show CD's on my Ipod. That's geeky.
Gordon: We'll be talking more about Tom and why he's on the show (besides the fact that he's a cool guy), but let's go to him on the demise of My Kind of Town. What did you think about the show?
Jason B: I liked the show. But it was just there.
Chico: I also enjoyed it, but I thought it was 50 minutes too long.
Tom: Someone, getting paid a lot more than I am, green-lighted this thing, which backs up my theory that brain-damage is a pre-requisite for landing a job in network programming.
Gordon: Is that your dream job - to greenlight these sort of shows?
Tom: No, to green-light MY shows. And of course, your shows.
Gordon: Awww =)
Chico: I'll tell you right now... I wrote about the show this week, it created no moments, and the moments that even come close are 50 minutes going. Hence, why I think the show was 50 minutes too long.
Tom: I'm not sure if this was a concept that was "suited" to death.
Chico: No, just suited to run its course. It's one of those things that works... On paper.
Tom: Execution, not so much.
Chico: And let's just say it did work. You're going to run out of towns sooner or later. Or at least good towns.
Gordon: Not really - you have thousands of towns.
Tom: In this case... towns which would take them.
Gordon: Good point there.
Jason B: Michael Davies is not a stupid guy. I liked Series 7.
Chico: The shark-jumping would begin if you were to include, say, Linden, NC.
Jason B: Studio 7 excuse me.
Gordon: Series 7 was a kick-ass movie, though.
Chico: Yeah, you like anything where death is involved - death and reality TV, that is.
Tom: You LIKED studio 7 - so, you're the one.
Chico: I have to agree with Jason again. I also liked Studio 7. I just didn't like it like I liked Millionaire, you know?
Gordon: I agree with you, Tom, I did not like Studio 7 at all. The editing was all off and although I liked the premise, the execution was awful.
Jason B: But Davies will have another hit. He is not a stupid guy.
Tom: Oh I was happy to see someone taking another shot at a prime game, but I thought for the most part, "7" was a mess.
Chico: It's just going to take some probing into the recesses of his mind... Or another good British format to come along.
Tom: Why does it take a britshow to get another game on the air?
Gordon: Because it's the chic thing to do in Hollywood. That brings us to the next question - what are your feelings on the upcoming Davies show with Ken Jennings?
Jason B: I don't know.
Chico: From what I hear, it's Ben Stein redux.
Tom: Or it it "reflux"
Gordon: As I was at the run-thrus, it is Ben Stein redux, which should be good enough to be ok, but it's not what I would be expecting from Davies.
Tom: How many pilots have they shot to date?
Gordon: I don't know.
Tom: it sounds like a pretty bad, but common TV idea--- "We have a star, now let's build a show around him."
Chico: See: "Emeril".
Tom: Other than "Seinfeld", it doesn't work.
Gordon: And we welcome to the show Mr. Joe Van Ginkel
Jason B: Joey Numbers!
Joe: That's Game Show Man to you, boy. Only Jason Hernandez and Justin Lollie get to use Joey Numbers.
Chico: I've delivered the Game Show Man, Joe Van Ginkel.
Joe: What are we talking about?
Chico: Ken Jennings.
Gordon: We're chatting about the folly that my Kind of Town was. Any opinion from you on it, Joe?
Joe: Ah. Didn't really care for it. It was an interesting concept, but it didn't quite work. And the British host didn't help either.
Chico: It was basically the season premiere of Oprah with a giant injoke built around it.
Joe: Exactly.
Gordon: The British host absolutely did not connect with the American public. You can say the same thing with Hit Me Baby, One More Time, for that matter.
Joe: Then how the heck didn't Bruce Forsyth connect? That's your fault, Gordon. :-D
Tom: Joe, it was the beard.
Gordon: It was the beard and the bad game show that was Hot Streak.
Chico: Hmm.. the likes of Johnny Vaughn, who interacts with people, and the likes of Vernon Kay, who just serves as impresario.. Sounds like you're comparing apples to bananas.
Gordon: Can I just call them unripened fruit?
Jason B: I like the British guys...who is the host of Distraction?
Chico: Jimmy Carr.
Jason B: He is good.
Joe: Carr fits his show perfectly. AND he's funny.
Chico: I've said this before and I'll say it again, only two people can fit that role to a T. Him... and maybe Gordon over there.
Gordon: Thanks Chico - heh, heh, heh. Seriously, here's the difference. Jimmy Carr can get his point across without screaming across the room to attempt to shatter a camera lens. Johnny Vaughn and Vernon Kay both need to take a valium.
Tom: 5mg or 10s?
Chico: One more so than the other.
Jason B: The British are known for the extremes in hosts - either very quiet (Tarrant, Whiteley) or very loud
Chico: They're either really subdued or really hyper.
Gordon: I happen to like Jimmy Carr for the reason that he puts the game as more importance over him - something that Vernon and Johnny need to do.
Jason B: I agree.
Gordon: If the U.K. is shipping their show over to America, they need to do their homework and realize that America does not like their hosts over the top. They then need to compensate by either using a quiet host or an American host.
Tom: Has a yank done a show over there? since Kelly Monteith?
Gordon: Jerry Springer did Greed.
Chico: John MacEnroe did their version of ... The CHAIR!.
Tom: No kidding? That's like putting someone like Maury Povich on 21.
Oops, they did that didn't they?
Jason B: Yeah they did.
Chico: *nods*
Joe: Funny, I heard Springer did a good job with Greed.
Gordon: He did do a good job. As for Maury, he needs to host a game show called 'Are You The Father?'
Joe: He already does that.
Chico: Only every day of his life.
Jason B: Who's your daddy Part II
Gordon: He's good with that.
Joe: It's called "Maury."
Chico: And speaking of something really subdued and something that needs valium.... It seems that the story of Big Brother 6 has been written to the finish, thanks to the worst play in BB6 history, and there has been a history... And it's been quite a written one.
Gordon: What would that play be?
Chico: Ivette basically playing the game with her heart instead of her head. Strategy would dictate that you concentrate on jury building and then take someone completely undesirable to the final with you.
Gordon: I disagree with you - I actually think that Ivette made the correct move and I think she is playing with her head
Chico: That's what strategy would dictate. This particular season of cohorts have not been playing strategy (thus resulting in an utter clusterschmazz)
Joe: Clusterschmazz? Where on Earth did he get that one?
Chico: I have to sub out an f-bomb somehow...
Joe: Oh.
Gordon: (Shrugs) You are thinking with your heart and not your head. There is no way that you can keep Howie in the game. He is a huge threat to get to the end and to take Janelle with him.
Chico: Yeah, but you know that April or Maggie will NOT take Ivette to the final.
Gordon: Are you sure about that?
Chico: They're bigger threats than Howie was to win the game.
Gordon: I disagree - the only was that Ivette wins if if she brings Janelle. Ivette gets routed if she brings Howie with her.
Chico: And she had to get rid of April to do that. As it is right now, there was SOME chance that Ivette could win the whole shebang, now there is NO chance..
Gordon: Here's the problem - Howie and Janelle also won't take Ivette to the final two either. Who does Ivette have a better chance to win the final HOH? Against Janelle? or Howie? I disagree. If Ivette and Janelle get to the final 2, the Friendship holds the votes and Ivette wins.
Chico: Against Janelle, I think she would have a better chance... Oh, I get what you're saying.
Tom: zzzzzzzzzzz
Joe: What Tom said.
Tom: Other than the fact that Les Moonves is banging Julie Chen, why is this show still on the air? Why is she still on the air?
Chico: Because America like automatons?
Gordon: Yay, Automatons!
Tom: What Chico said.
Joe: ROFL
Chico: Which would explain the love affair with "The Robot"... the Lost in Space robot... that Small Wonder chickie... Alpha 5... And Tommy Hilfiger.. Love how I just weaved that in.
Joe: And Lt. Commander Data.
Chico: Brent Spiner is a genius =p
Joe: Word.
Gordon: Another show that's ended - rather unceremoniously - The Cut. The question - what went wrong?
Jason B: As some one who recapped it, it was too much of a clone.
Chico: Let's just say that that show is one of the main reasons why cloning is an abomination before God.
Gordon: It sort of turned into a game called 'How many things can we find that have been used in The Apprentice'.
Chico: Even models were used in The Apprentice to some extent. Explain that one, CBS. EXPLAIN THAT ONE!
Gordon: They were used heavily in Project Runway, which was far and away better than The Cut.
Tom: I know a "rip-off" is the sincerest form of flattery, but......
Chico: Doesn't take much to be better than "The Cut". It was just, to quote a sheep I drove past the other day", baaaad.
Jason B: I wish it was better. But it was "Apprentice Lite"
Chico: At best. Less filling.
Jason B: And not great taste.
Tom: It seems the only way to put an original show on the air, is to go the way of "millionaire" and buy time yourself, put the show on the schedule, and hope the meters click. I do not believe there is an original thought left in NY or LA, nor one single testicle of any size.
Gordon: Can I have a Big Board, Chico?
Chico: Got it.
Joe: (Cue Jeopardy! board load-in SFX)
 

- Law Firm
- Hilton
- Hell's Kitchen
- Rebel Billionaire
- Benefactor
- Wickedly Perfect
- The Assistant
- The Apprentice: Martha
- ... Obnoxious Boss
 

Gordon: Category - The Spawn of the Apprentice. Let's name all of the clone shows that Donald Trump has accurately said that have tried to copy him.
Jason B: The Cut, of course.

(DING)

Joe: The Law Firm.

(DING)

Gordon: I Wanna Be A Hilton

(DING)

Chico: Hell's Kitchen
Gordon: Though it was successful...
Tom: (although I like Hell's Kitchen)
Chico: Hard to see anyone who didn't like Hell's Kitchen
Joe: Ahem, Chico.
Chico: That isn't named Joe Van Ginkel.
Joe: :D

(DING)

Jason B: The Rebel Billionaire.

(DING)

Gordon: The Benefactor

(DING)

Joe: Wickedly Perfect
Gordon: Wickedly Perfect is more a Survivor clone. Though it is a
clone, so...

(HALF DING)

Gordon: The Assistant
Joe: That was a parody.
Gordon: Still a clone
Joe: Fair enough.

(DING)

Chico: The Apprentice: Martha Stewart. But strangely enough, he endorses it.
Tom: He owns a piece of it, of course he'll endorse it.

(DING)

Gordon: My Big Fat Obnoxious Boss

(DING)

Gordon: Any more?
Joe: None I can think of.
Chico: Nopers.
Tom: Isn't that enough, already!
Joe: Yeah. What Tom said.
Chico: Just goes to show you.. Hollywood is filled with fakes.
Gordon: We have a lot of clones here, Chico. Can we create Star Wars Attack of the Clones 2 B with them?
Chico: I don't know about you, Gordon, but I sure as hell feel attacked.
Tom: When are those programming neurosurgeons gonna get it. Clones don't work.
Joe: Maybe we should send the Sith for us.
Chico: I like Joe's idea. =p
Joe: (cue Battle of the Heroes)
Gordon: We'll send the Sith to get rid of the clones. Meanwhile, a new show is coming up that we hope isn't a clone.
Tom: "Gay IGAS"
Chico: LOL.. I still remember the live show about that.
Joe: Yeah really.
Tom: I'm still working on the gay thing.
Gordon: It's taping in Las Vegas and hosted by Alan Thicke. Someone who went to try out as a contestant, and who will be telling us about it, is Tom. Mr Gauer, the floor is yours.
Tom: I hope it's no-wax. Sorry. "Second Honeymoon" is the name of the show -- a "REALITY" show, that sounds suspiciously like a 'GAME" show.
Chico: Well, there has been a game show of that name, created by Wink Martindale, no less.
Gordon: How does it work?
Tom: Well, at the audition, I was told a second pilot was in the works, so I don't think even Alan Thicke knows at this point. It sounds like "Newlywed Game" in Vegas.
Jason B: But is it so alike that they can be sued?
Tom: Initially, the ad in one of those hotel rags, made it sound like "amazing race" with questions instead of globe trotting. Answer your way to different cities by knowing your spouse's tastes, ideas, etc.
Chico: Sounds exactly like the Newlywed Game.
Tom: The questions at the audition were very dull--- nothing like, "Where is the most unusual place you made whoopie?"
Gordon: So this looks to either be a blatant remake or a clone.
Tom: Well, they are doing another pilot.
Chico: Do you know what's going on with that?
Tom: Oh, and here's an odd twist. When you audition, you fill out the paperwork, like all contestants.
Jason B: Of course.
Chico: Right.
Tom: They tell you all travel and accommodations will be provide by the prod. company, but, they ask for your income level, and how you'll pay for incidentals, like mini bar--- check VISA, MC, Discover.
Joe: O_o
Tom: THEN, after the audition, we were walked to a timeshare pitch booth.
Gordon: That sounds...sleazy.
Jason B: Very sleazy
Chico: Too sleazy.
Gordon: That sounds...ridiculously sleazy.
Joe: [Goofy]Something wrong here...[/G]
Gordon: You're serious about this, Tom?
Tom: The only thing that makes me think this is an attempt to put something on TV is the release form-- which asked the right questions about eligibility.
Jason B: It could be an infomercial "game show". You never know.
Tom: Other than that, I would have immediately thought this was gonna be a Vegas timeshare trap.
Joe: Yeah really.
Tom: You know, "infomercial" is entirely possible.
Gordon: The first game show timeshare infomercial? Why not?
Tom: That is an interesting concept.
Chico: Hmm...
Tom: And since Thicke isn't exactly on the "A" list anymore....
Joe: They already have had game show infomercials. The first one, I think, was called the "Home Shopping Game."
Jason B: This would be the most high profile.
Gordon: Both The Home Shopping Game and Bargain Hunters were info-games done by various QVC-like groups.
Chico: Yeah, but those weren't nearly as blatant. Like the info part was secondary. This almost sounds like the game itself is secondary.
Tom: After reviewing the contestant form (copy) in small print at the bottom, this is supposed to be produced by "Consolidated Media, LLC", which a quick web search tells me, owns "Consolidated Resorts".
Gordon: I have to agree with Chico. Can we send the Sith after them, too?
Jason B: I need a shower...makes me all oogly.
Tom: Now, now, we're all making assumptions--- correct as they may be.
Chico: That's low.. even for someone who did The All-New 3's a Crowd. How about a brain shower first? Roll it, Earl!
Joe: :-D
Gordon: Jackets, Jason.
Joe: No thanks. I'll stick with what I have.
Jason B: (tosses the jackets) Hit it!
Gordon: Roll that Beautiful Brain Footage.

(Move Closer plays, "From the four corners of your globe to your frontal lobe, this is Brainvision News, with Chico Alexander, Jason Block, Gordon Pepper, and the award-winning Brainvision News Team)

Chico: Real news, real fast, real brainwaves. First up...

A speedboat and a trip to New Orleans as prizes is cause for alarm at CBS, as the network pulls a west-coast rerun of "The Price Is Right" and apologizes for airing the rerun.

Gordon: Oops.
Chico: Now I can understand post-Katrina sensitivity, but this was scheduled way in advance here.
Joe: I have to agree.
Tom: Oh please---- the country is offended. Someone has to lynch Bob Barker.
Chico: I think someone did.. and they had a lawsuit coming =p Jason B: Look, This is a mountain out of a molehill. It happens.
Gordon: Depends on which Barker's Beauties Mountains =)
Chico: This is the same mentality of people who wanted the second Lord of the Rings movie renamed out of sympathy for the 9/11 victims.
Joe: Oy.
Jason B: Political correctness to the nth degree.
Chico: Yeah, pretty much.
Joe: Political Correctness = teh suck.
Tom: I think someone looking for that 15 minutes of fame, sees a window of opportunity.
Gordon: I think it was an honest error, and people love to blow it up out of proportion...uh...wrong choice of words.
Chico: Gordon, I demand an apology!
Jason B: For what?
Chico: That "Blow out of proportions" comment =p
Tom: I know I was offended.
Gordon: I'm sorry...that you need to shave your head.
Joe: ROFLMAO
Tom: Oooh, that's harsh.
Chico: NEXT!

In European Big Brother Baby News, according to a judge, the birth planned in the Dutch Big Brother House can NOT be shown live. In addition, a caretaker must be allowed in the house to supervise the kid. As for mom, the houseguests have gotten her down to smoking 3 cigarettes a day.

Jason B: We have had sex on Big Brother... Now an almost birth... what's next...death?
Gordon: Yeah, those cigarettes are perfect for a growing baby.
Jason B: I saw a pic of a pregnant woman smoking...so appealing...NOT!
Tom: What? Were they gonna induce labor to hit the time slot?
Chico: She was seven months along. If she was in danger of eviction... then they'd induce :-)
Tom: Do a c-section if time was running out?
Chico: Now it just sounds like it should be on TLC or something.
Gordon: Keep in mind that a voting audience decides who gets evicted - Is there any way that she isn't going to win?
Tom: You make a good point. I guess they don't have standards and practices in the Netherlands.
Jason B: Of course not.
Chico: Nope. We're historically seen as Puritans.
Joe: HA!
Chico: And apparently we get laughed at because of it =p
Tom: Hey, we haven't burned a witch in years. Oh, I forgot about "Bewitched" this summer.
Joe: ROFL
Chico: I wanted to burn that witch.
Gordon: I'd like to burn the reel of film.
Chico: It's not a remake, it's a remake about a remake! It's TOTALLY different!
Joe: Methinks Nicole Kidman has jumped the shark, don't you friends?
Tom: after T. Cruise was done jumping her.
Chico: I think wearing stilettos has affected her judgment. Next thing you know, she's going to deny being born in Hawaii. Anyways, next up...

GSN is exploring the ever-growing world of VOD, starting with select markets that have representatives on their "documentary" "Word Slam".

Chico: For those of you who don't know, VOD is that block of digital cable channels that allow users to access a certain number of shows provided by the cable outlet every so often. Hence the term, Video on Demand.
Jason B: Like the Anime Network or WWE 24/7.
Chico: Precisely.
Gordon: Watch John Hatten's 20 Game Win Run on Blockbusters! Only $4.99 a month.
Tom: That's right, I had the lasagne.
Chico: We haven't gotten that yet... and how did you know what I had for dinner last night?
Gordon: I can't see how this will possibly fly. You actually need a strong fan base that will spend money - and most of the classic stuff you can get from other sources.
Chico: Actually, Gordon... If you have the digital cable, the VOD content is free.
Tom: Well, since the "Network for Games" isn't offering what it's loyal fan base wants, I'm sure the thinking is, "We'll give them what they want, if they want to pay for it."
Chico: At least on Time Warner systems.
Gordon: Not on my cable system, it's not.
Jason B: True.
Gordon: Well, I hope GSN finds their way. Who wants to find their way to media hoes?
Chico: (plays "Area Codes")
Tom: ooooo..... can we?
Joe: The rakes do. :-D
Chico: That never gets old, Joe.
Joe: Nope. It doesn't.
Jason B: (gets out my "Crunk Juice" cup)

In this week's Media Ho Report, Bill Rancic will depart from Trump World in 2006, Richard Hatch gets a whole lot of financial charges thrown at him from the I.R.S., Martha Stewart does the talk show circuit for her new show, and we have more reality hoes in training, as MTV's Reality Show are looking for hoes and The Biggest Loser 2 are setting up Media Ho parties to herald their debut.

Jason B: The Reality Show + Andy Dick = teh BIG suck.
Tom: How could Hatch think he could get away without paying taxes on $1 mil, when the show sends him a copy of the 1099? Anyone that stupid deserves to be put away.
Joe: Agreed. I never liked that fool anyways.
Jason B: Rancic I think will succeed post Trump.
Chico: Did we mention the Celebrities that are going to be skating on thin ice in yet another clone.
Tom: Don't say it, please don't say it.
Jason B: SKATING WITH CELEBRITIES! ON FOX!
Chico: NOOOOOO!
Gordon: He said it! Ahhhhhhh!
Joe: )jackass
Jason B: I am a sadist aren't I?
Tom: God, take me now, please take me now. Yes, this is the network which employs me.
Chico: Hey... At least you get the House DVD free. I had to pay for mine.
Tom: FREE? are you kidding? Rupert doesn't give anything for FREE.
Joe: Oy.
Tom: (just kidding Rupert)
Chico: Actually, that would make a good Match Game question for next year. Write that, Joe :-)
Joe: Hmm...
Gordon: Ok Chico - Next Brainwave?

Adrian Karsten, a commentator for ESPN's short-lived "Dream League" game, was found dead in his home in an apparent suicide. He was due at prison, but he never showed.

Joe: Prison?
Chico: For tax evasion.
Joe: Ohhhh.
Jason B: Ouch.
Tom: That's what he would've said if he made it to the slammer.
Joe: ROFL
Tom: The fall mixer is coming up in Leavenworth.
Gordon: Can we have a moment of silence for Adrian?

(silence)

Gordon: Thank you. Final Brainwave...
Tom: (thunderous applause from the studio audience)
Joe: Cue Gordon's Carnac style retort.
Gordon: May Fox's So You Think You Can Scream in Russian troupe use the floor right above yours as their next rehearsal space.
Joe: :D
Gordon: Anyways...

Extreme Dodgeball hits the College Campus! Michigan and Michigan State had an Extreme Dodgeball Tournament. Showing up for the event - GSN of course, and various camerapeople.

Jason B: Oh wow.
Joe: Blah.
Chico: Wee.
Tom: Sounds like smart attention-seekers in Michigan.
Chico: Want some TV time? Play dodgeball.
Tom: exactly.
Joe: I was never a dodgeball guy.
Gordon: The winning college, BTW, was Michigan State, represented by Michael Khakham, telecommunication, information studies and media freshman Evan Heiss and business freshman Mark Thomson of the team called the Revolvers. If any of you are reading this, we'd love to invite you on the big show - that is, if you are up to waking up early on a Saturday
morning.
Chico: Won't be long before we have NCAA-sanctioned matches.
Gordon: That's the Brainvision News. Shut it down, Chico.
Jason B: (feeds the mice cheese)
Gordon: Good boy. He's learning.
Chico: Shutting it down. And when we come back, we have some accurate stuff... or some idiotic stuff... We just have more stuff.
Joe: ROFL
Gordon: Stuff, stuff and ...stuff...on the Big Show, Next!
Chico: Come on back, the harajuku girls call it Hi Hi WLTI Show.

(Brainvision News is brought to you by the GSNN Gun-Runners, here to play, here to stay. Get your dodgeball on fierce and proper)

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