Chico: Howdy pardners. I'm Chico Alexander, and
I was one of the tens of thousands that used cursed "Lost" numbers in Powerball
this week... No I didn't win either. That's the last time I watch that show.
Gordon: I won! I won!
Chico: What'd you win?
Gordon: Kindling =P
Chico: You didn't win a hatch? You were supposed to win a hatch!
Gordon: That would be more of a booby hatch.
Chico: Fine. You at least want to start the show?
Gordon: I will. From Somewhere in America, WLTI...is...on. As I have a bowling
tournament to go to this week, we can't go at the usual time, so it's just Chico
and me for this edition.
Chico: Oh darn. Well, at least we can think of our good friends... Jason...
Joe... Jason... Eric... Jason.. Don... Jason... Julie... Jason.. Ryan...
Jason... Jason.... Jason...
Gordon: I can think of a Jason.
Chico: You always do.
Gordon: Well, we have so many to choose from.
Chico: Anyways, we've got limited time, that's why this particular show is
called the Hurry Up Offense =p So let's get it started (ha!) with $2800. What
can you do with $2800?
Gordon: I can buy some nice threads for $2,800
Chico: Seriously, one of the champs on Jeopardy! this week, Dominic
Owen-Williams of Toronto, brought home a staggering take of $2800... Meanwhile,
we see that Melissa Prepster was just lucky.
Gordon: Channeling the spirit of Jason Block, I'll say that Maddie could have
knocked off either - or both of them. This sort of surprises me, because this is
the time where the stronger players usually show up.
Chico: Right after back to school week? I remember this is when Ken Jennings
started to fall off, you know? This time last year?
Gordon: Around this time, there's usually one or two good power players. We
haven't seen them yet, but I think we'll see some better play than $2,800
Chico: I think so too. I'm not saying anything, though, but I think there's
going to be a name player sometime next month. And by that, we mean more than
Gordon: It could happen, so you better watch. Something that people aren't
watching as much is Martha Stewart's Apprentice. If you saw this week's episode,
you saw one of the reasons.
Chico: Yep. I smell hoodwink.
Gordon: Not as much hoodwink, but as much of someone who has extended their
welcome, yet doesn't leave. I refer to the continuing saga of Jim, who I can't
see going very far, but yet still sticking around due to personality instead of
Martha actually looking for someone. In this case, it was Jim, a resdient of the
Board Room Vs. Jennifer, someone who makes her first appearance there. Who does
Martha get rid of? Jen, due to the fact that Jim makes much better TV - because
that's the only reason why he's still on the show.
Chico: Did she outright say this or what? Or your Peppersense going off?
Gordon: She tells Jen to take a powder because although Jim is loud, annoying
and cost them the task, Jennifer leaves because she couldn't control him. Wha?
Chico: Well, in Martha's defense, I've seen this sort of thing before. You take
out the problem at the root, you get rid of the problem, right? If Jen can't
control Jim, how can Martha expect her to control her business empire?
Gordon: But Jim should have been gone Week 2. It's now Week 6.
Chico: Maybe Martha sees something that we don't... or MAYBE.... just maybe...
Gordon: Maybe Jim was the person who had a date with someone's daughter.
Chico: Things that make you go, hmm...speaking of which, GSN is rearranging,
taping, and splicing..
Gordon: Do tell.
Chico: For those of you don't know... Our good friend Alex Davis has
connections with GSN's press department and he can get this sort of stuff.
Gordon: Alex likes to kiss GSN's butt - and we like to reap the benefits of it.
Chico: Like for example, did you know that Ballbreakers moved to Saturdays? And
furthermore, their season is already over?
Gordon: Well, I knew that their season is over. I also knew that they did air
some of their episodes to Saturday. That seems to be the dead zone of TV, and if
they are doing that, then they must not have much faith in the ratings.
Chico: Either that or glass-half-full, they're trying to rejuvenate their
Gordon: That could spell trouble for a show that had a contest to determine the
contestant for their second season.
Chico: This is also the network that snuck another season of Lingo on air, mind
Gordon: That's true. We'll see what way the glass is shaping in 2006, when
Season 2 of Ballbreakers is supposed to show up.
Chico: Also, while I'm on Lingo. You know we're in reruns now.
Gordon: That's pretty quick.
Chico: Actually, that was 65. I counted.
Gordon: Quick - that wasn't even 13 weeks of shows.
Chico: Or maybe 60. I'll have to count again. Anyway, Alex tells us that the
show wasn't doing as well as it was given the pub and time slot.
Gordon: Well, it shows - that was a pretty quick burn off of episodes.
Gordon: Next year could be a very big crossroads for GSN.
Chico: Also, two pilots are in the shooting phase.
Gordon: Can I have a Big Board, please?
The Highs and Lows of GSN
- High: Poker Royale
- High: More young peoples
- Low: Less viewers overall
- Low: Shows that don't work
- High: Commitment to production
Gordon: Subject - The Highs and Lows of GSN
Chico: High: Poker Royale.
Gordon: True - lots of episodes for Poker Royale - including some more seasons
in the can and more poker shows on the way. Extreme Dodgeball, The Amazing
Race and Ballbreakers are still drawing the ratings.
Chico: Another high: more young'uns like me watching.
Gordon: The 18-49 numbers are up...but...LOW - The numbers themselves are
Chico: This is true.
Gordon: The fact that the network is being taken off basic cable and moved to IO
and other pay stations isn't helping.
Chico: No. Especially not in New York City.
Gordon: When your #1 Mass Market gets reduced, that can't help. Also a LOW - The
shows that haven't worked this year, such as Dream Derby and Lingo. Their 6
million dollar investment of Amazing Race is getting as as good ratings as low
budgeter Extreme Dodgeball 3 - That can't be a good thing.
Chico: High: Pilots with promise. I'm hearing (and apparently so is Alex) good
stuff about "Your Worst Nightmare". "I've Got a Secret"... still a shoot and
match right now.
Gordon: I've got a Secret is a High?
Chico: It's not a high or a low, but it shows that GSN is committed to new
Gordon: Commitment to shows is good. Commitment to GOOD shows is better.
Chico: I will not argue there, but who are we to say what the viewers will like
or not? Actually... I just answered my own question, didn't I? Certainly a
Gordon: They have a think tank. They have Fremantle. Have them give us a GOOD
revival or something that's completely different instead of taking an idea and
either cloning it or spinning a controversial edge to it not so much to add game
play but to try to draw eyeballs.
Chico: Did we mention.. stupid human tricks?
Gordon: No - talk to us about stupid human tricks.
Chico: That's part of "I've Got a Secret".
Gordon: That's part of I've Got a Secret, eh?
Chico: Oh yeah.. you're looking forward to that :)
Gordon: Uh...no. Have the executives read up there. Then have them read this
column and wonder why the show sinks like a stone.
Chico: Speaking of which, you were saying something about execs reading
columns? I believe this kicks off... Fun with Celebrities!
Gordon: And who are we making fun of today?
Chico: We're making fun of Van Halen and a couple of people who have issue with
Fantasia. Let's start with Van Halen first. Now a while ago, I'm not sure who,
but Gordon or Travis made mention that "Rock Star" would work better with an
American band, say Van Halen.
Gordon: I think we both did.
Chico: Okay. Well, MTV may... or may not... have ran with that and published a
story to that effect. We ran the story.
Gordon: How does it feel to be a source?
Chico: I feel so used. Anyway, Van Halen had to come out and say "no, we are
not doing Rock Star".
Gordon: Awww - Chico needs a hug.
Chico: MTV has yet to apologize publicly, but we did. Proving again that we are
bigger than MTV. And more reliable, might I add :)
Gordon: Well, that's a given. It would have been nicer if whoever took our stuff
read that that particular blurb was AN OPINION, NOT A FACT. Sheesh.
Chico: Our second celeb... well, wannabe celeb comes from just up the road in
High Point, NC. Now Gordon, when I say High Point, what two things come to mind?
Gordon: Chico, put that pot and bong down this instant!
Chico: Wanna try that again?
Gordon: I'm guessing you are referring to Fantasia Barrino?
Chico: And what else?
Chico: Funny, Fantasia said the same thing, and it's getting her into trouble
with two residents of High Point that want their town to take down her signs.
Now, they have a website to that effect and call me crazy, but aren't you just
reinforcing Fantasia's point that there's nothing to do in High Point?
Gordon: Making furniture isn't nothing to do?
Chico: She said "Furniture and that's it." Now I've been to High Point... And
seriously.. that's it.
Gordon: Maybe there are furniture races and stuff.
Chico: If you want to do anything else and your my age or Fantasia's age, you
gotta go to Greens or Winston. (That's Greensboro and Winston-Salem for you,
Gordon: You don't have the Davenport Derby?
Chico: Nope. Not that I care about.
Gordon: Come on - furniture racing could be fun.
Chico: You know what else could be fun?
Gordon: What else, Chico?
Chico: News! I snuck the jackets and mice from Jason's locker. And I got the
Gordon: You are not getting me in that helicopter. I'll do this from the ground,
Chico: No, we'll just show a picture of it. Roll it, Earl.
Gordon: Roll that Beautiful Brain Footage
From the four corners of the globe to your frontal
lobe, this is WLTI Brainvision News with the award-winning Brainvision
Gordon: Sounds good - first article, please?
Chico: First article comes from former "21" contestant David Legler. If you're
living in the Chicago area, listen up.
A Trivia Night for Hurricane Relief is scheduled for November 5 in Deerfield,
IL. If you want more information, you can just click on the link in the front
page. And if you don't live in Chicagoland, just spread the word.
Chico: It's for a good cause.
Gordon: Next up -
Last week, we said goodbye to some shows. This week, we say good bye to 2 more.
Hoosier Millionaire looks to go off the air after 16 years, while The Reality
Show looks to get yanked for MTV's Internet.
Chico: After 6 weeks.
Gordon: I'm surprised it lasted that long, to be honest.
Chico: Dan Levy + MTV = Hide the kids, ma!
Gordon: Not to mention Andy Dick thrown in there.
Chico: That's just a nuclear explosion waiting to happen. Check out the rest of
the series on MTV Overdrive. From finales to renewals!... Okay, ONE renewal.
Fox has just reupped "So You Think You Can Dance" for another season to begin
summer 2006. No official word on returnees, but since Nigel Lythgoe did have a
hand in creating it, I couldn't imagine that he wouldn't take part.
Gordon: We also have a new show on the Horizon - Pros Vs. Joes.
Chico: Tell, G! Tell!
Gordon: Contestants get to challenge professional athletes in various
competitions. Spike TV will host this one.
Chico: Should be a winner...Okay, hoes, you got any?
Mark Burnett sues Canada for Survivor Rights, Marc Summers gives a lecture at
Rhode Island University, Big Brother's Tanja FINALLY has her kid, Vanna White
honors ice cream flavors, Jamie Foxx is campaigining for Fantasia to be in...Dreamgirls,
and we FINALLY get to see someone in Australia win 1 million dollars on
Chico: The question...?
Gordon: Which of these popular '60s TV shows premiered first? A: Bewitched B:
Get Smart C: Hogans' Heroes D: I Dream of Jeannie
Chico: A It spent the longest in B&W. That's how I came to that.
Gordon: A is right. Very good
Chico: Thank you. Speaking of millions...
Trump is seeing less of them watching his show, and he's blaming the dual
versions for that.
Chico: The quote, to summon the Big Board again...
Gordon: Bring that Board.
Chico: That's two in one show!
"There was a lot of
confusion [with] people that wanted to watch. And a lot of people were
even upset that this was done. But I really feel that there was a certain
amount of confusion which hurt the original 'Apprentice.'"
Chico: Do you buy it?
Gordon: I do, actually. I buy that, I buy the fact that there was too much
Apprentice in one season, and I buy that Martha's version is a pale imitation of
the original - and that has to hurt the Donald's version. And you?
Chico: Nope. Why would you expect season three to go down then? This is just
continuation of what started last year. And what's so confusing about Thursday,
Gordon: I also think that the fact that I can see his show another 3 times
during the week has an effect as well
Chico: So you can't blame Martha.
Gordon: I don't completely blame her, but I think it's a factor
Chico: Okay. One more?
Good news - for the Amazing Race. In addition to the Emmys, we will be seeing
foreign versions of their shows grace other shores.
Chico: Yay! I hear tell the Asian version will be in English.
Gordon: I think that's great - and the fun part is that we can see other
versions and follow along without knowing the language. The fact that the Asian
version is in English is even better.
Chico: Isn't it, though? Okay, Hurry up offense continues as I play doctor...
not like that you filthy McNastys.
Gordon: If you ask me to cough, I'm smacking you.
(Brainvision News has been brought to you by the Amazing Lace. Seamstresses race
around the world to get a sexy outfit for Heather and Eeeev....maybe I do need a
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