May 22, 2006

Jason: Lets go.
Gordon: We are going to go make some resolutions...in May.
Jason: I thought it was for New Year's?
Chico: I resolve to find a place to stay for Animazement next week.
Gordon: New Years in May. It is the new year, so to speak, iun a few weeks.
Jason: True.
Chico: Yep. So who should we resolve to help first?
Gordon: We'll start with...

Playmania. We see Shandi return to the show, while Mel looks like she wants to come out of the TV set and throttle the game players. how do we bail this thing out?

Jason: Cancel it.
Gordon: I also think that the games are not good. There shouldn't be a game where you have a potential 15 different answers
Chico: Sedatives. Or at least bring someone in who can hold the "mania" to a minimum. Someone like... hey, what about Gordon?
Gordon: I'll do it - and then heckle the crap out of the callers.
Chico: Sure he's not a woman, but there has to be a woman like him somewhere. As for the games.... Yeah, it also hurts that the contestants that usually call in are a little... er... Carlos Mencia has a word for it, but I'm afraid to use it.
Gordon: I'll use one from the Bill Cosby Catalog - Dain Bramaged
Chico: Thanks. Save us some trouble later.
Gordon: I have a 5 letter word. you tell me the word of _ _ pey
Chico: I'll guess dopey,  and spell it C-L-A-W
Jason: Right.
Gordon: I was impressed
Chico: True story. Last night, someone had to spell clay, and they spelled CLAW.
Gordon: So resolved for Playmania - Better games, less manic hosts, and smarter players
Chico: Hey, I got one for you, G...
Gordon: ok
Chico: How about...

Melissa McGhee... People are going to remember Taylor Hicks, Kat McPhee, Chris Daughtry, hell, even Kevin Covais... But NO ONE is going to remember her unless she does something...

Jason: Strip Naked for Playboy.
Gordon: Heck, if Ace got a $100,000 offer, she's worth at least $50,000
Chico: Very true...
Jason: Someone wanted to see his Young Ace?
Chico: Someone wanted to see Ace's Deuce. I don't want to see Ace's Deuce.
Jason: No. No. A thousand times no.
Gordon: Seriously, it's not about what you know sometimes, it's who you know. Melissa should talk to Kelly Clarkson and get her music production team. She should start in the club scene, as many people (Cher, Kelly, even Kelly Osbourne) have been successful.
Jason: Could be.
Gordon: Resolved - Do a club song and build your clientele that way. If you don't want to do it, than bare your breasts. Next one...

The Chris Daughtry Fan Base. I am sick of them complaining for a revote that will never happen. They need a hobby. Give them one.

Jason: How about...going to see him play live? Buy his CDs. Support him and grow up.
Chico: What Block said. Don't download, go out, buy the record.
Gordon: Should they go off and get ready for Rock Star 2?
Jason: Sure. That too.
Chico: They have the attention span, don't they?
Gordon: So Resolved - Go to his concerts, buy his schwag, throw in more money into the Idol Machine, and then go watch Rock Star 2 so you can throw money there as well. Next?
Chico: Next up...

Jade of Top Model. She didn't win, and she's also a crappy poet. Is she good at ANYTHING?

Jason: See Melissa McGhee. Strip Naked.
Gordon: Actually, I think I have a use for her
Chico: you do?
Gordon: I do. She could be a new Wild N Out Girl
Jason: That's good.
Gordon: Just stand there and point to the band and Nick Cannon. Besides, Eva Pigford was a guest there, so there's some synergy. She can handle that, can't she?
Jason: I think.
Chico: And.. the Viacom hierarchy at work :-) Think about that. It's also how Adrienne Curry landed Game Show Marathon.
Jason: She is the curtain girl/Barker's Beauty et al?
Gordon: See, here at WLTI, we actually can dispense good advice. We usually don't and prefer to run comedy, but we actually can dispense good advice.
Chico: And then there's good advice disguised as comedy.
Jason: There you go.
Gordon: True too. So resolved to Jade - Be a Wild 'N' Out Girl. If not, then be a Playmate - and not the Playmania kind. Next one...

The Artichoke. William Hung has sullied your reputation by being the Artichoke King. What can we do so every time we get to the heart of an artichoke, we aren't thinking of his version of 'Achy Breaky Heart'?

Chico: Three words. Iron. Chef. America.
Jason: Top Chef
Gordon: Are there any Iron Chef shows that have the ingredient of Artichoke?
Chico: Not that I remember, no.
Gordon: Resolved - Petition Iron Chef America to have the Artichoke as a mystery ingredient and to not have William Hung on as a special guest
Travis: Check
Chico: Hear that, Alton? Artichoke.
Gordon: Last one?
Chico: And finally...

Ricki Lake. People are judging her before she even puts on period garb and drops a giant mic. Because we want her to succeed, suggest something that'll move her on the right path to finding her inner Gene Rayburn.

Jason: Stay true to the shows.
Travis: So long as she doesn't give the celebrities a secret makeover, she'll be fine.
Chico: She won't.  I have faith. As long as doesn't put herself above the format.
Gordon: It's all about the show. Don't put yourself over the show. The good hosts know when to push and when to lay back.
Chico: It's a very serious matter with very serious people watching. And by serious, I mean... DAMN, SON!
Travis: Yes!!
Chico: We're talking ridonkeylous serious. So resolved - don't ride the wave, let the wave ride you.
Gordon: Pretty much. I resolve that we take a break before we go to the Big Finish
Chico: I like that resolution.
Travis: Swish.

(Brought to you by the Fear Factor Memorial Gardens. Walk through the superworm patch and pay homage at the cow tongue.)

Gordon: And the moldy cheese pizza on the memorial day food platters
Chico: Good eatin'.
Gordon: And we have the just desserts as we get to the Big Finish! Who wins Idol?
Jason: Taylor Hicks...the Soul Patrol crushes.
Chico: Mr. Hicks. Soul Patrol!
Travis: Taylor...s'bout time we have a gray hair winner
Chico: First brother to win it since Ruben, and from the same town, too. What does that tell you?
Gordon: It sayts he has a huge edge. Game Show Marathon. Will it bring in the ratings?
Jason: Yes. The timing is perfect.
Chico: The time slot is perfect. Nothing's on at 8p in the summer. That's where Dancing with the Stars found an audience.
Travis: It's gonna go gangbusters
Jason: And the recreations look fantastic.
Chico: Good job, guys.
Gordon: It's doing the right thing. Hopefully, it can take it home. What are you guys doing for Memorial Day Weekend?
Chico: Well, I'm going to Durham for Animazement. Good times with some good friends.
Travis: Memorial Day...I think I'm on duty...so I'm not leaving the building.
Gordon: I have to cover some shows - otherwise take the weekend off with some nice R and R
Jason: I am staying here in the city for Fleet Week.
Chico: We've got one more swept away...

Chico: Really one new event: the American Idol finale. And you also have a rerun of Soap Week on the Feud.
Jason: And more stuff on Wheel.
Chico: Of course. And then Thursday, the summer season starts with So You Think You Can Dance.  From that, we get mail. Who's got mail?
Gordon: I've got mail
Chico: Share!
Jason: Yes please share.
Travis: Sharing is fun!
Gordon: I have mail from Lingo Winner Andy Pei.
Chico: Actually, he never won. Came close, though.

Chico: Thanks for the praise! I'm glad you enjoyed the writeup as I enjoyed writing it. It was a pretty close game, really. It's what we live to do (some would say it's also what we die, decompose, and reincarnate to do as well, but they're just nutters :-) )
Gordon: lol. Any more mail?
Chico: I got some from Adam S. Thanks, Adam!

Gordon: Yes. The Donald will be unhappy
Jason: And the President of NBC...they have to keep it on time.
Chico: Although I don't understand it, either. After all, everyone else is doing it, why can't they? It's the prognosis of a network in third place... they have priorities mixed up. Happened to ABC four years ago.
Gordon: Actually, the episode that I thought was much more fascinating was Wednesdays, as we see another contestant let greed and $75,000 get to her.
Chico: Weird huh? The game is much more fascinating than stunting... What an interesting concept. I'm just flabbergasted. Aren't you just flabbergasted?
Gordon: When it gets to a GAME and GAME PLAY instead of extending the show needlessly to stunting, it's fun. When it lags, it REALLY lags.
Chico: Yeah, and you know you can get a game over and done with in half an hour. Thanks, Andrew O'Keefe. Speaking of over and done with...
Gordon: Is that all you've got?
Chico: That's all I've got.
Gordon: Then that's all we've got. A special thanks to Bill MacDonald for once again gracing us with his presence.
Jason: Yay Bill!
Chico: Big thanks to Jason Block and Travis Schario for keeping us company as well. Remember we're always taking your questions at wlti@gameshownewsnet.com. Next week, it's the season 11 finale...
Gordon: We get an Idol winner and talk about future winners and losers.
Chico: You're gonna LOVE IT!
Travis: MAY 31...GAME SHOW MARATHON!!...I mean, thanks for having me.
Chico: you can't wait for summer either.
Travis: It's true.
Chico: For Gordon and everyone at GSNN, I'm Chico... That's it! Game over! Spread the love! Peace out!
Gordon: Drive safely this weekend!