January 30, 2005

Gordon: This is Gordon Pepper, and I don't think anything happened worthwhile this week, do you?
Jason B.: (yawn) are you sure we have to do this?
Chico: Maybe not, but if it did, we're all over it. Let's see.... merger...  renewal.. announcement... yeah, it's all here. We have to do this.
Joe: Darn it!
Ryan: We still won't get it in Canada...
Jason H.: Lucky you. ;-D
Gordon: Not much going on and...what are all these people doing here with this being such a light week of news?
Joe: You promised free beer, didn't you?
Chico: Besides, it's Super Bowl Week, and we have to be up on it, so... that said....From Somewhere in America... the XL edition of WLTI is on!
Jason B.: WHOO HOO!!! Hello my baby, hello my honey, hello my ragtime gal....
Chico: We'll get to the XL fun in a moment, but first, we have our resident brain-in-a-box, Jason Block....
Jason B.: RIP Michigan J Frog.
Jason H.: Indeed, Jason.
Jason B.: I am pouring a little for my green homie.
Chico: He will be missed... We also have prospective speller of five letter words Jason Hernandez.
Jason H.: Ahhh....not just 5-letter word speller....
Ryan: Ball picker extraordinaire.
Jason H.: Ballroom dancer extraordinaire, I can take on Master P any day of the week. :-P
Gordon: We also have our resident Canadian Media Ho who is being Skooled, Mr. Ryan Vickers.
Ryan: Yeah baby!
Chico: That's TV's Ryan Vickers, G. :-)
Ryan: Wednesday is the big start date... and from the clips I've seen it's gonna be great.
Don: Nice.
Ryan: Don's the only one here that can see it live though :-)
Jason H.: Can we expect a director's cut of the show with full commentary soon?
Ryan: One can only hope!
Gordon: Which brings us to the only person who can see Ryan being a media ho - resident Canadian Don Harpwood
Don: I saw another llama on Monday...
Jason H.: Really? I just saw an emu a couple nights ago
Don: Heh.
Joe: It was a Millionaire brain fart bonanza!
Gordon: We also have a man who has a vested interest in the Superbowl - from U Pitt, Mr. Joe Mello
Joe: Greetings, loyal subjects, but being from Philly, it's not too vested. And the Eagles Pep Band can pwn anything these Perogians can dish out
Gordon: And last, but not least - the person who was from the state where a team got knocked out by Mello's Steelers - I'm talking about Ohio with Mr. Mike Klauss.
Joe: Nyeah Nyeah XP
Chico: No time to be taunted. Time to get into the opening round.. First up, our long national nightmare is over....
Jason B.: P is GONE! Praise be.
Joe: *Final Fantasy victory theme*
Jason H.: Hallejujah
Don: Took long enough for that to happen.
Jason H.: I could have beaten him any of those weeks!
Jason B.: With a score of 8 points and going against Tia in the bottom 2...he was done.
Chico: As Gordon said, if P is in trouble this week, he's gone... and boy was he in trouble...
Don: Is 8 points a record low on DWTS?
Gordon: It is in the U.S. version of it.
Jason H.: If I may get into critical judge mode here....
Joe: Historic Moment! lol
Jason B.: Yes Jason
Jason H.: He looked like a stiff robot who had no flair, WHATSOEVER. It was awful, it was dreadful
Chico: I swear, dude, if he was any less animated, he'd be Stonehenge!
Gordon: (Singing) Put it high....Push it high...
Jason H.: It made me wish I was the one out there dancing....and you know what, guys?
Jason B.: You just wanted to be with Ashly :-)
Jason H.: .......you figured me out, Jason!
Chico: Heh...
Jason B.: So now we get into the real dancing.
Jason H.: But you know, next time you guys come out here, you're all going ballroom or swing dancing with me. =D
Chico: Which brings up a question... who would've gone farther... P or Romeo... with the injury?
Joe: Romeo, probably.
Jason B.: Romeo.
Don: Romeo, I bet.
Joe: Younger, more spry, and bigger legion of fangirls
Gordon: Romeo - he's a very young kid and he has moves. The way that this is shaping up, I think that he could have been a dark sleeper horse.
Chico: with the injury?
Jason H.: WITH the injury, he would have been ousted by now, too. He probably would have been out right about now. Neither. I know Romeo has some moves, but a pretty sizable injury really affects performance
Don: With the injury... He'd probably still have been able to move more than P.
Gordon: Yes, but keep in mind that this is a 9 week competition. He would have gotten sympathy votes - and maybe that led would have healed enough that he could do stuff with it.
Joe: True. Romeo would have only gotten better as the show progressed
Jason H.: True, but the dancers that are left are just too good. I'm really looking forward to next week's show. =)
Jason B.: But now we have Drew, Lisa, Stacy, George, Jerry and Tia left.
Chico: But with all the talent left and all the dregs gone, this is where the real battle begins, methinks. If I may bring up the Pepper STO meter...
Gordon: I still think you have some dregs that have to go
Jason H.: REALLY??
Jason B.: STO?
Chico: Safe, Trouble, Out...
Gordon: Let's bring that baby out (drags out big display)

Chico: Safe: Drew & Stacy...
Don: Obviously.
Joe: Sure
Jason B.: My final.
Gordon: AHEM.
Jason B.: My 2nd final anyway :-)
Chico: Trouble: Lisa, George, and Jerry (after quite a run for himself. I'm surprised).
Jason H.: Quick plug.....A couple weeks ago, Drew & Stacy learned some Quickstep and Charleston moves at one of our swing halls a couple weeks ago
Chico: Really, JD?
Jason H.: Yes, really. =)
Chico: Were you doing the teaching?
Jason H.: I wish I was, I love Charleston.
Gordon: Nice. So Jason is now a biased commentator
Jason H.: Oh, I'm not biased, I voted for Jerry. :-P
Chico: Yeah, but who else here is a dancing instructor? =p
Jason H.: Oh. Hehe
Joe: I thought that made him an "expert"
Chico: Obviously that makes him the most knowledgable .. or something.
Jason H.: I actually pay attention to all the dance moves, yo!
Jason B.: You think Tia is next?
Chico: Yes I do. If Tia is in with Drew or Stacy, she's gone. If she's in with George and Lisa, then all bets are off.
Gordon: I have to respectfully disagree.
Jason H.: Let's hear it, G. Why?
Gordon: In Chaos Theory thinking, you're right, Tia should be the next to go. Master P's votes will probably go to George. I just think that George is so far behind everyone else that if he's at the bottom after the end of the judging, he's gone.
Chico: hence the caveat: if she's in with George and Lisa, then all bets are off.
Jason H.: Hmmm, that's pretty good thinking.
Jason B.: I dont think Master P's votes go anywhere.
Chico: I think they go evenly among the men.
Gordon: If it's George and Tia or George and Lisa in the Bottom 2, then I think the ladies may have a problem due to the excess votes. If it's George and Jerry however, then George is toast.
Jason H.: Personally, I think either George or Tia will be the next to go.
Chico: We're just all over the map with predictions this week, aren't we?
Jason H.: Well, I'll tell you what....Drew and Stacy are my top 2 right now
Jason B.: Thats a given.
Jason H.: Jerry improved SO much this last week, and he looked really good out there.
Gordon: I think the question is just is George, Lisa or Tia leaving.
Chico: Yes.
Jason B.: True.
Jason H.: Fine, I'll make a real prediction. :-P
Chico: Alright, real prediction boy :-)
Gordon: So before we move on - what's everyone's guess? I'll say George.
Jason H.: George is the next to go.
Jason B.: George
Don: Yeah, George.
Chico: I'll stick with Tia.
Jason H.: Awww, Chico! But she looks so gorgeous! And yes, I want to dance with Ashly....or Anna
Gordon: Well, speaking of dance partners, Clay Aiken has found his own dance partner. However, it's not Ashley or Tia...instead, it's someone who has decided to out him in front of his American - and CD buying - public. Thoughts?
Chico: Publicity.
Jason B.: For who?
Chico: Dude looking for his 15 minutes, obviously...
Joe: I think it's unfortunate it had to be in the fashion it was, but I don't care how he swings.
Don: To be honest, I'm not completely surprised, though I didn't expect him to be outed like that...
Jason H.: I never really cared for Clay, anyway. Never bought a CD of his; I wasn't totally surprised.
Chico: Joe's got the right idea. I mean, just look at Will Young...
Jason B.: Neither do I. But I have a couple of points that Gordon and I agree upon.
Chico: But I'm guessing that Gordon is building up to something here...
Jason B.: May I?
Gordon: You may, Jason
Jason B.: #1. Aiken was not exactly smart in doing what he did.
Joe: That kinda goes without saying, don't you think?
Jason B.: In the same way that Frank Gifford got caught with his pants down with a stewardess in the Globe tabloid a few years back. Sexuality has NOTHING to do with this.
Chico: Yep.
Jason B.: 2. It's very sad that Aiken got caught this way.
Gordon: But at the same time, it could be cathartic for him and his career.
Chico: Yep.
Jason B.: But the real question is this...if Aiken admits he is gay...what happens to his career?
Chico: No change, I'm guessing.
Jason B.: You really believe that Chico?
Chico: He's still...... going to have that record.. that he's working on... that'll come out... eventually.
Joe: How much of a career does Aiken have right now?
Ryan: Not much. At least in my personal world :-)
Jason H.: The real American Idol is, and will always be, Kelly Clarkson, anyway.
Jason B.: Aiken has a very good one.
Chico: Yes.
Jason B.: His "Measure of A Man" CD did very well. Gordon, you want to back me up here?
Gordon: Clay Aiken has never been a pop star per se. His field has always been Adult Contemporary, and he is very successful in it.
Joe: Okay, I'll buy that
Jason H.: I won't. :-P Kelly Clarkson is my American Idol. =)
Ryan: Likewise, Jason.
Chico: Yeah.
Jason H.: My sis picked up that album of hers, and I have to admit, it's grown on me.
Jason B.: She can sing.
Jason H.: Aiken hasn't done that for me, I just really don't see it with him.
Gordon: What will this do to Aiken's popularity? Will people shirk away from him or will he get a brand new following?
Joe: The answer is yes
Jason B.: to both.
Jason H.: A little bit from column A, and a little bit from column B.
Chico: Agreed.
Don: Yeah.
Chico: So if we're moving on from "the business" to... the business...
Jason B.: The Frog is dead...long live CW
Chico: No doubt you've all seen the news of the UPN/WB merger... I know Jason has, because he's good at these things. Top Model is already confirmed for the new network. Will Beauty and the Geek follow? We think so.
Don: I don't get UPN or WB, so I likely won't get CW, either. :/
Chico: Yeah, but you get Tricia Helfer, so it's a wash :-)
Gordon: I think all of the game shows are safe, as they have been driving up the numbers.
Chico: This is correct, Gordon.
Jason H.: Actually, most of the syndie game shows here (if not all of them) are on KCBS, or KCAL
Joe: WB was about the angsty raging hormonal white kids and UPN tried to be hip with the black population. The two of them together........will be odd.
Jason H.: They'll be white with black stripes!
Gordon: The CW - brought to you by Michigan J. Zebra
Don: [Insert Odd Couple theme here]
Gordon: If anything, this could be the best thing for both networks - especially if they can keep both Ashton Kutcher and Ken Mok on payroll
Chico: Definitely.
Joe: Har
Jason B.: I agree. If they get the good stuff, by 2009 they will be a contender.
Joe: First they have to figure out who they will be aiming at
Chico: I mean, you're taking the best of UPN, what little there is of it... and the best of the WB, what little there is of it... and joining them into one giant robot of a network.. that will confuse the hell out of station O&Os.
Jason B.: Already here in NY Channel 9 has divested it's UPN affiliation.
Chico: ie.. yeah, what Jason said.
Joe: We'll just have to wait and see how this chimera will work
Chico: For the record, both UPN & WB in Raleigh are owned by Sinclair, so no loss there...
Jason B.: And in NY...CW will be on Channel 11. There will be a shakeout. But this is BIG.
Gordon: And when they get together, the networks are going to need a lot of brain power. Why don't you say that we get some of that started up?
Chico: Fire in the hole!
Jason H.: ...ow!
Jason B.: Fluffy and Gordon Jr at the ready.
Gordon: Jackets
Jason B.: Jackets here we go.
Gordon: Roll that Beautiful Brain Footage

Doug:  (impersonating Mark Thompson) From the four corners of the globe...to your frontal lobe... this is WLTI Brainvision News... with the award winning Brainvision News team.

Joe: That was one of the more obtuse segues I've ever seen
Jason H.: I love that audio plug. =)
Chico: Thanks to Doug Morris again :-) First on the docket....

Guilty. That is the verdict in the Richard Hatch tax evasion case.

Jason B.: What a greedy moron.
Chico: He faces up to 13 years and a $600,000 fine. So there you go. Easy come, easy go.
Jason H.: Pay your taxes, folks!
Joe: The only good thing to come from the IRS is John Carpenter :p
Chico: That's right.
Jason H.: lol
Gordon: Now can he make it through his latest adventure, Survivor: Oz?
Chico: You know the Mexican version of "Deal or No Deal" is good on paying taxes..
Don: The defense seemed to be flip-flopping to me. They say he's a bad bookkeeper, then they say CBS was going to pay the taxes if he didn't "rat out the other players"...
Jason H.: Oh, but of course. Thank you, Boletazo!
Chico: Read my Numbers Game this week to see what I think about this case, and about Hatch and the prospect of being, well, someone's bitch.
Joe: I feel a Boondocks reference coming on......
Chico: "Please don't tell my baby Jasmine... I don't want her to think I'm someone's bi-i-i-i-itch!"
Gordon: Next article...

Coming in Summer 2006, the World Series of Pop Culture, Treasure Hunters, Last Comic Standing 4 and Rock Star 2

Jason B.: People on message boards are forming teams for the auditions around the country.
Jason H.: Just what we need, another World Series
Don: I was surprised abut LCS getting a new season...
Jason B.: Very about LCS.
Gordon: and don't Forget that the last Million Dollar Spectacular on TPIR is on February 14th
Joe: From 2005
Don: About 9 months. We waited about 9 months for that one.
Gordon: On Tuesday night. Against Idol. Not much ratings love there. Can we say burn-off?
Jason B.: Burn-off yes. But still a ratings performer.
Joe: It out-lived it shelf life
Gordon: Not against Idol, it wont be.
Chico: About that.. I have an announcement...I WAS WRONG.
Gordon: ahhhhhhh!
Chico: And I'm sorry.
Don: Wha?
Jason B.: Huh?
Jason H.: Oh! EH?
Chico: Last week, I said it would be on at 9 because I didn't think FMNA would go for two of its shows against each other.
Jason H.: Aww, we forgive you, Chico.
Joe: That's okay, because I was right.
Jason B.: It's ok.
Joe: :D
Chico: Well, I was wrong... and I am sorry.
Gordon: S'ok. We'll set you up with a conjugal visit with Richard Hatch for atonement.
Chico: Aw, HELL NO! =p
Gordon: Next Article?
Chico: Next article...

Millionaire is prepping for a star-studded ... or at least an exciting February with Walk-in and Win Week from Disneyworld and Million Dollar Movie week.

Chico: Now there are details in this story, but we will get to those later...
Joe: Walk-in and Win is never all that exciting.....
Gordon: Hey Jason - I got another 5 letter word for you.
Jason H.: .......yes?
Gordon: Walk in and llama. L-l-a-m-a.
Jason H.: Bite me. :-P
Don: lol
Ryan: Fingers crossed it doesn't happen again
Jason H.: Next time I go to Walt Disney World to play Millionaire, I'm going all the way this time.
Chico: Don't count on it :-)
Jason B.: Christmas Club, indeed.
Jason H.: I didn't get any music questions, though! And isn't music your specialty, Jason? :-P
Gordon: MEOW!
Chico: But look at it this way, if Jason does win at WDW... or at Lingo... then he'll join an elite club ... of hoes.
Jason B.: (starts playing Luda)
Gordon: Media M-e-d-i-a. Hoes. H-o-e-s-s.
Chico: Not a legal word, Gordon. Board goes to the other team :-)
Jason H.: Bad Gordon!
Gordon: Hoes. J-a-s-o-n?
Jason H.: :-P
Jason B.: How many Media Hoes do we have this week?
Ryan: *sadly volunteers self*
Jason H.: lol
Chico: Sorry, but you work for GSNN, Ryan.. You're not eligible for the Pimp Cup.
Ryan: Bah.
Joe: *TPIR losing horns*
Jason H.: Yea, coz we all know I'm the big daddy of pimpin' out there right now. ;-D At least out on that dance floor, OH! Watch out Ashly!

In this week's Media Ho Report, the Donald sues for M--o-n-e-y as he sure for l-i-b-e-l. 2 J-u-d-g-e...s for American Idol (S-i-m-o-n and R-a-n-d-y) has been called out for homophobia, The Tyra B-a-n-k-s show gets a renewal...

Jason B.: I see a pattern here. :-)

Jessica Sierra gets a restraining o-r-d-e-r against a stalker, The Brittenums get booted from Idol, but are courted by producer Jermaine D-u-p-r-i. Media hoes in training were upset to see that the Biggest L-o-s-e-r auditions get cancelled due to poor security, while egg heads who attend the NAT Quiz Bowl include Ken Jennings and K-e-v-i-n Olmstead.

Gordon: And the ho of the week is...ironically enough....
Chico: *drumroll*
Gordon: Paula. P-a-u-l-a. Abdul. A-b-d-u-l.
Jason H.: Oooh, double b-o-n-u-s!
Chico: And her ascent to hoedom this week?
Gordon: Paula will be doing a special dating show as she looks for a new l-o-v-e-r. The host for the show? Dr. Phil!
Don: Wha?
Jason B.: A-w-f-u-l.
Chico: (boop boop boop boop boop!)
Gordon: Next article, Chico?
Chico: Brace yourselves... it's Tech Time..
Joe: WARNING: SCIENCE CONTENT
Jason B.: Pocket protector and white coat on over jackets
Jason H.: Don't forget the goggles!
Joe: And the Mort Goldman impressions
Jason H.: Now find the 6 potions, and then the final EXPLOSIVO! S-W-E-E-T
Gordon: 7 potions, Jason, 7 potions
Jason H.: Seven?
Gordon: In Mega Match, you need 7 potions for the explosivo
Jason H.: Well, six plus the explosivo makes 7, if you want to be technical then.

This week, FremantleMedia announced that they would released new DVDs in the US and the UK. The UK will see Blankety Blank and Play Your Cards Rights. And in the US, Endless has Match Game and Password, not to mention the Newlywed Game.

Jason B.: YES!
Ryan: Suddenly... my investment in a region free DVD player is paying off :-)
Chico: AND also, Real World/Road Rules is now available on iTunes, if you have a video iPod on you.
Gordon: Finally...

Ratings, ratings, ratings. The Bachelor ratings are improving, which sets up the way for potentially another season?? Yech. The amount of casino game shows on the air is being used as fodder for states to get their own casinos.

Gordon: Could you imagine a casino in every city?
Jason B.: Yes (drool....)
Joe: No, I couldn't, Gordon. Every TV market, maybe.
Ryan: Maybe we'll get Joe Schmo 3... casino style
Don: When I heard about the ratings for the Bachelor, my first thought: "You're kidding, right?"
Jason H.: I want to go to Vegas!
Jason B.: Are you legal Jason?
Jason H.: Of course I am!.....ohh....you mean to gamble....Yes, I am!
Chico: And that's Brainvision. Okay, shut'er down.
Jason B.: Good hamsters (feeds them cheese and water) and a lot of jackets to wash this week
Chico: Meanwhile, I'm going to find a casino to get some cash to pay for this show.. or I could run an ad. What do you guys say?
Gordon: We get to picking numbers and solving lists after the break
Chico: I guess the ad wins. This is WLTI, the show that does for game show news was the Skyhook did for zone defense.
Jason B.: Always scores.
Jason H.: The most graceful shot in all of basketball.

(Brainvision News has been brought to you by Dingo. Jason Hernandez tries to win money by counting and grouping up Australian Wildlife 5 animals at a time)

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