February 6, 2005

Gordon: This is Gordon Pepper, and welcome to the Superbowl Edition of We Love To Interrupt!
Chico: That's right, we're live from a cheesy looking set that looks like Ford Field in Detroit, but isn't. The Seahawks are about to get hammered by the Steelers, but first... from "Ford Field" in "Detroit", WLTI ... is...
Gordon: SCORE!!!!!
Chico: ... Close enough!
Gordon: TOUCHDOWN, WLTI!!!! We have scoring in all sorts of ways., but we'll start with...
Chico: ... the business of introducing the starting lineup... First, out of Newmarket, Ontario, a... freakishly tall TV star... Ryan Vickers!
Ryan: Hello!!!! And thanks for the plug for the show that most readers can't watch :-)
Chico: Anytime, bruh.
Ryan: Kids... guess what my grade average is so far? After once class!
Chico: C+?
Joe: 4.0 and a spin?
Ryan: After one class... in teenage slang... I have... a B+.
Chico: Word?
Ryan: Apparently I was too happy and too eager
Gordon: Ryan? Too Eager? Naaahhh
Ryan: Ha ha ha. You guys know me very well :-)
Chico: A bit.. I think. Next, out of Stoney Creek, Ontario... at wide out... Don "The Doughnut" Harpwood!
Ryan: Hello Don!
Joe: Dandy Don Harpwood.
Don: Considering it's Super Bowl Sunday, I thought about doing a victory dance of some sort.
Joe: NO!
Don: But I decided not to. I can't dance. :-(
Gordon: Finally, a man who is rooting for the Seattle Seahawks all the way, Mr. Joe Mello!
Chico: Out of Philadelphia, at tight end, number 99... yeah, him.
Joe: Hey guys, I took the black lab at 3 1/2 for Puppy Bowl II. Whaddya think? Am I getting good money?
Ryan: I don't get it.
Joe: If you only had Animal Planet...
Chico: Okay, no time to waste, let's get right to the opening kick of WLTI Bowl LXXXVIII... That's a lot of letters.  First, we start with a bit of sad news. Out of Manila, where a game show taping turns tragic. While taping the first anniversary edition of "Wowowee" on Saturday, a stampede broke out, and at least 74, possibly 88 lives were lost.
Don: Sad news, indeed.
Gordon: That's a terrible, terrible tragedy.
Joe: You hate when anything like this happens, game show or not.
Chico: Definitely. Especially the circumstances behind it... For instance, "Wowowee"'s target audience is the working-class poor of the Philippines, and the top prize is only about $20,000. This anniversary show had double money. When you consider that the product of that is a stampede... it's just stunning.
Gordon: How many people showed up for the event?
Ryan: Thousands, wasn't it?
Joe: 50,000 according to our front page.
Gordon: Wow. 50,000 people showing up for $394 tickets and a possible $40,000. We don't have that many people showing up for a possible million in Deal or No Deal.
Chico: You also don't have a capacity crowd at a stadium for Deal or No Deal.
Joe: At least there's an ongoing investigation. Someone had to be negligent.
Chico: Indeed, Joe. An investigation called upon by the Philippine government involving production executives, network execs, and the host himself.
Gordon: That's a terrible tragedy and all of our prayers to go anyone who has been affected by this.
Joe: Indeed.
Chico: Indeed, Gordon. Per the President, we should have answers in 72 hours. As that was the deadline handed down. Of course, we will have the latest as it becomes available. But for now, our thoughts go out to all the families of the victims.
Gordon: Can we have a moment of silence?
Chico: Absolutely...

(silence)

Chico: Thank you. Now we press ever forward to lighter news...
Gordon: Moving on the brighter things...well, not so bright if you're a middle aged woman on a Thursday 8pm show.
Chico: Thursday night was the biggest battle in primetime since Friends ended two years ago, with Survivor going up against Dancing with the Stars. And the end result? A draw. Big Board, please?

Chico: Oooh... You did that over the week, Gordon? It never lowered like that before...
Gordon: I figured that we had to do something special this episode.
Don: Nice.
Chico: Nice..
Joe: Spiffy
Gordon: So show us the Big Board, Chico
Chico: The title: Reality Bowl I. Dancing With The Stars Vs. Survivor. You have to remember first off that Dancing was 90 minutes, while Survivor was only 60.
Gordon: Ok.
Chico: First category: the overnights. Dancing: 12.9/9. Survivor: 10.4/15. Dancing wins. Then: total viewers. Dancing: 17.82 million. Survivor: 19.34 million. Winner: Survivor. Finally: the tiebreaker: the demographic. Adults 18-49. Dancing: 4.4/12. Survivor: 7.0/18. Winner: Survivor. What does this tell us?
Ryan: WAIT! We're forgetting something!
Chico: What's that, Ryan?
Ryan: You horribly neglected this weeks ratings for "Joey"!
Chico: ... Joey ain't on no mo'. It's in "hiatus."
Ryan: *sarcasm detector goes wild* :-)
Chico: Heh... You wily devil...
Ryan: Indeed!
Chico: Okay, back to the question: What does this tell us?
Joe: Dancing is for old people
Chico: Correct. Joe gets a gold star.
Joe: W00t
Gordon: Actually, I have a better one
Chico: Do it.
Gordon: The horny young males aren't as excited seeing women wearing long gowns as they are seeing women wearing almost nothing except their island suits.
Don: Heh.
Chico: Gordon gets a platinum star for that one. :-) But you also bring up a point that I was about to make...  Survivor has a bigger, younger audience...
Joe: Because young people have no taste
Chico: But they do have money, so say TV execs. Ergo... You go where the money is.
Gordon: It's also a huge win for the game show fan, as it shows that two powerhouse game shows can coexist in the same time period.
Chico: You know, I never thought of it that way, G.
Gordon: Now should NBC decide to stick Deal or No Deal in there, then I will not be very happy.
Chico: Then you will not be very happy in a few weeks, when it does it's 5-day-a-week extravaganza again.
Joe: Well, my Mass Comm teacher says that the power of the 18-49 demo is a myth.
Gordon: I agree with your teacher. Contrary to popular belief, when you turn 50, you still do need to by commercial goods.
Joe: Actually, iirc, the old people have the money.
Chico: But still... the idea of the demo... this sounds like research fodder.. We could play Mythbusters again =p
Gordon: Game Show Myth Busters. I like it. What about the myth of the legend of Eleanor Ainslie?
Chico: Busted. Survived two wins, a tie.. and then out.
Ryan: Michael Larsen?
Chico: We confirmed that a long time ago, Ryan, but back to Eleanor... As proven by her play this week, the legendary Eleanor Ainslie is just that... a legend. The sad reality is, she is just another smarty who got lucky three times, and then was outplayed by someone with skill.
Gordon: Sorry - have to disagree with you. I thought Eleanor was very shrewd on her betting.
Chico: That's only part of the game, though. You have to play the entire 30 minutes.
Gordon: And for the 30 minutes, she was either leading or was in the position to win. That does take knowledge to do so.
Chico: And she only did that on her first game.
Joe: I feel like we've covered this just two weeks ago. ;-)
Gordon: Well, we sort of did, but with a different person
Chico: On Wednesday's show, she only came alive in Double Jeopardy!... And did the math in her head thinking, third-place only has enough to tie me. She bets accordingly, and badabing... Tie ball game. She read your State of Play, Gordon :-)
Gordon: I hope I get credited for it.
Chico: But on Friday is when she gets outplayed.
Gordon: She did get outplayed, but she had a nice run.
Chico: Question now: will we see her again down the line, and if so, how does she fare?
Gordon: I don't think we see her, but if we do, I don't think she gets out of the first week.
Joe: Probably not. But we'll just have to wait and see, won't we?
Chico: We'll just have to. Meanwhile, speaking of coming from nowhere... Who's up for darts?
Joe: I'll spring for a round. ;p
Chico: It's not unusual that we have news like this, but to have it twice in a week, very unusual... Big Board the Sequel time...

Gordon: I like that effect...
Chico: First up from the UK: we have the revival of "Bullseye." Who's heard of Bullseye..
Joe: Not the British version. I'm willing to hear how it works.
Don: I've heard of the show, but I haven't seen it before...
Chico: Well, it's studio-ized competitive darts. http://www.ukgameshows.com/index.php/Bullseye Basically, a dart player would shoot for a dartboard that had ten categories on it. The
player's partner would win money for a question based on how close he was to the bullseye.
Don: Ah, so combining darts with trivia? Neat.
Joe: Works for me.
Chico: Basically...  It's coming to Challenge in 2006. A host has not yet been named.
Joe: FSN should think about doing something similar, since they seem to be the network for darts.
Gordon: It sort of reminds me of Brains and Brawn, the old game show where one of the people was the athlete and the other one was the nerd. I think it could work on American TV - but not with darts. Maybe a home run Derby challenge where the region where the ball lands determines the question.
Chico: Or just take the trivia out, hence the next item. Michael Davies will bring the World Series of Darts of ESPN this July. Question... will it work?
Joe: Probably not as good as poker, but everything in moderation seems to work for ESPN. Just look at how bowling is going.
Chico: How is bowling going?
Joe: Well, it's on every Sunday and seems to have a following.
Chico: Ah.
Joe: Otherwise, they wouldn't have that series of commercials. They also have shown trick shot competitions, which are hella cool.
Chico: The genesis of success on the ESPN network... Get your own commercial..
Gordon: That seems to be what it is. And it would be even better if they have their own Brainvision article, wouldn't it?
Joe: I sense a segue.
Chico: Well, since Jason's not here, we don't have jackets... Oh well... I got these! *garish looking broadcaster's jackets*
Gordon: Do you really?
Chico: Oh yeah! They're actually a step up. These babies have the GSNN logo emblazoned on them.
Gordon: Oooh - looks like John Madden and Howard Cosell were wearing these.
Don: Cool.
Joe: Are they mustard yellow like the HOF jackets?
Chico: No, they're GSNN blue :-)
Gordon: The look sort of blue and brown plaidish
Chico: Okay, the rodents are in place, the jackets are in place, all we need to do is HIT IT!!!! Come on and HIT IT!
Gordon: Roll that Beautiful Brain Footage!

Doug:  (impersonating Mark Thompson) From the four corners of the globe...to your frontal lobe... this is WLTI Brainvision News... with the award winning Brainvision News team.

Joe: We <3 Doug Morris
Chico: Yes we do. Okay, Gordon, what does the Brainvision Roadshow begin with?

We got new game shows coming up! Simon Cowell is looking for Inventors and Entertainers!

Chico: Yay!
Gordon: Lets see if it can do a little better than USA Network's Made in the USA.
Joe: If brand loyalty tells us anything, it should. If it's Simon Cowell, people will watch.
Chico: Not true. Remember Cupid?
Joe: Well, at least for the premier, they should watch
Gordon: People did watch to start - and then it went flatter than Shandi Finnessey's vocal tones.
Chico: Ow! That's flat!
Don: Yeouch.
Chico: And that's not all Simon's up to, BTW. He's also got a new show coming out with NBC looking for the next Vegas... variety... act... thing. I'm confused. What is that?
Gordon: Really? Do tell... It seems like a copy of Wayne Newton's The Entertainer, if you ask me - just a little more open on the talent search.
Chico: Didn't notice :-) Didn't notice a thing :-) Anyways, back to the news... Anyone here watching the Project Runway?
Gordon: Simon Cowell. Master of the copying. Next article?
Don: Wow, Simon is one busy guy.
Joe: Must've been on FOX too long lol

Bravo's Emmy-nominated "Project Runway" continues to grow week-to-week in all key demographics, surpassing the record-breaking season one finale in just the eighth episode into the second season.

Chico: The magic number: 2.3 million.
Gordon: And this is the same show that Bravo wasn't sure that they wanted to renew, eh?
Chico: Makes you think, doesn't it?
Joe: Looks like they made the right decision
Chico: Oh yeah.
Don: Indeed.
Chico: And it's really good considering that Heidi's Germany's Next Top Model wont' get renewed...
Gordon: Loyalty sometimes pays off. Did for Seinfeld. Did for Ray
Romano. Did for Project Runway. Think about it.
Chico: Thinking about it... Next?

Jeopardy is in bed with the New York Times. Whoo-hoo! In addition to putting up daily puzzles on their site, they are also trumpeting the Brain Bus, who will be in NYC later on this season.

Don: Sounds interesting.
Joe: Puzzles are also in the actual paper, too, if I remember the plug correctly
Chico: That's right. You get the answers one out of three ways. 1) Tune in that night. 2) Go to Jeopardy.com 3) Get tomorrow's Times. Alrighty... Warning: Science Content...
Joe: OH NOES! MY BRAIN!

Mark Burnett and Yahoo are teaming up for a new web series: "Gold Rush". Meanwhile NBC is getting into the web game itself with "StarTomorrow", a talent search.

Chico: All these will be available for download soon. How soon... we don't know yet.
Don: The wonders of the Internet...
Joe: Will we have to pay for these things?
Gordon: Assuredly, and add 2 bucks if you want to pay for an download of Survivor on cbs.com
Chico: I ain't gon' pay $2 for something I can keep for free on my DVR! =p  ... yes I am =p I'm payin'... That's payment... that makes them a ho. *plays Luda's "Area Codes"*
Gordon: sure you are. Just like I would pay for Idol downloads. Shall I download some hoes for you?
Chico: Download them hoes.

We start with a future ho sighting - we have auditions for Last Comic Standing 4 and World Series of Pop Culture, as well as Rock Star. For the current hoes, Simon Cowell continues to get hounded by groups, while The Donald may be going on Donald or No Donald.. sorry, Deal or NO Deal, and Whose Line comedians Brad Sherwood and Colin Mochrie will be on.

Gordon: And the Ho of the week is...
Chico: *drumroll*

Omarosa Mani....or wait, it's just Omarosa now, as she has now legally dropped the rest of her name.

Chico: That makes six Pimp Cups for her... which is weird, because we've only done this for three weeks.
Gordon: We now have a new name for her. Media HOmarosa.
Don: lol
Joe: oy vey
Chico: I think she gets the pimp's salute. *makes a slapping motion*
Gordon: SALUTE! Last article?
Chico: Finally...

Vas o No Vas... Trato o No Trato... however you want to say it, if Endemol and Telemundo have their way, you could be seeing a Spanish-Language version of "Deal or No Deal" in the US.

Joe: Spiffy, and $1,000,000 pesos wouldn't be too far out of the question.
Chico: Not pesos, Joe... Dolares. This would be a US Spanish version.
Gordon: And that ends BrainVision. Shut 'er Down.
Chico: So as we continue to watch commercials, graphics, John Madden, and what the hell let's watch a football game while we're at it, we go to break. Next up, a WORLD PREMIERE GAME, but first, Gordon has his version of genetic breeding. This is WLTI, the talk show Mark Goodson would've thought of, if he weren't so dead.
Joe: ZING!

(Brainvision News is presented by the Burger King Whopperettes... They're so very wrong, aren't they?)

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