February 20, 2005

Gordon: This is Gordon Pepper, and I'm waiting for the Media Ho Skiing Event. They'd have to be more entertaining than Bode Miller, eh?
Jason:  Just like Dick Cheney in the Biathlon...
Brian:  LOL
Chico:  I'm waiting for speedskating with celebrities myself.
Joe:    Hide me now.
Gordon: I hate to say this, but is it just me or is Skating with Celebrities more entertaining this year than the real Olympic competition?
Jason:  It is. Scary as that sounds.
Mike:   Pfft.  Skating.  The real excitement is with CURLING, BABY!
Joe:    Curling's growing on me, but I like shuffleboard.
Chico:  But do you like brooms?
Jason:  Under sexy witches, yes.
Joe:    I'm at an anime convention; anything involving cleaning is forbidden ;-)
Mike:   It's not the brooms that matter.  It's the size of your stones.
Gordon: While chatting about brooms, from somewhere in the land of February Sweeps, WLTI...is...on!
Chico:  Woo-hoo!
Jason:  We are back.
Chico:  It's been one hell of a fortnight.
Gordon: And now, our illustrious panel. From NYC, the man who is great at trivia, but who got the person leaving wrong on Dancing With the Stars...again...Mr. Jason Block.
Jason:  I underestimate fan bases. I still think Stacy is going to win. Stacy...wow.
Gordon: Will you take her with you to Spain if she does?
Jason:  My sister would kill me.
Gordon: By the way, Mr Block, Mr. Contest boy, does it again. This time, he just won a trip to Spain, ladies and gentleman.
Chico:  *applause*
Jason:  To Seville, Granada and the Costa del Sol.
Mike:   How did you win this trip?
Jason:  Name in a hat in Time Out New York Magazine. I am a lucky guy, what can I say.
Gordon: Someone who would love to go to Spain, but who is happy in Cleveland, Mr. Mike Klauss, ladies and gentlemen!
Jason:  (applause)
Brian:  Klaussie!
Mike:   First, mega props to Jason B. for winning that trip.  I wish I had 1/100 of the luck you have.
Jason:  If that were true, I would have won Mega Millions on Friday. Tuesday's Jackpot $170MM
Mike:   Second, UK Deal kicks our Deal's behind.  For proof, check out any episode from a torrent.
Jason:  No one won.
Chico:  Me too.. then I would've won something on a Virginia Lottery Scratcher...
Mike:   I spent $5 last night.  I matched 4 numbers.  Too bad it was one number each in four different plays.
Gordon: Next up, someone who matches numbers for the Real World shows, Mr. Brian Moore!
Chico:  From Cloquet, MN... yeah, him :)
Brian:  Thanks, it's motherfreakin cold over here!
Jason:  Our weather is as wacky as the Survivor voting.
Brian:  Oh and I hope we win the big, huge Powerball jackpot tonight.
Jason:  It's mine, Brian. I went to Ct Yesterday.
Brian:  You know that MN is also one of the Powerball states, right?
Jason:  If I hit the $365M...the budget for GSC would go up considerably.
Chico:  And finally, someone who isn't warring for a Powerball ticket, live via satellite from DC and Katsucon, it's Joe Mello..
Joe:    Hiya folks.  Want some pocky?
Chico:  Yes.
Gordon: Banana Pocky, please
Mike:   That sounds like a bad disease.  I'll pass.
Joe:    Actually, It's a biscuit stick dipped in chocolate.  It's decent, but I think it's overrated
Brian:  I want some as I've never tried them.
Chico:  Say you have the Mont Blanc variety.
Joe:    Well, Dealer's Room just opened, so maybe I can gank a box
Jason:  Pocky rules. And so does Cherry Kit Kat straight from Japan.
Joe:    Strawberry's the best
Chico:  Mont Blanc, baby.
Jason:  And you can get powerball in DC
Chico:  ... but is Joe warring over a ticket?
Joe:    Hells yeah
Mike:   Don't make me take a Powerball run to either PA or WV...
Gordon: Speaking of running, Lisa Rinna got to run to the door last night, as we are down to 3 Dancing With the Stars Celebrities.
Jason:  Lisa got hosed.
Chico:  All together now, who saw that coming? *raises hand*
Jason:  Blindsided like a Mack Truck.
Gordon: I even TOLD Jason that it was going to happen, and he didn't listen to me
Chico:  Well, it goes like this: Jerry Rice and his partner Anna Trebunsakaya... damn that girl's got back... anyways, they're headlong last place, but are saved by the viewers, clearing the way for Lisa and her partner Louis van Amstel, who were in a close third, to just miss the cut.. but just.
Gordon: Hence, we have our final 3 for the finale next week...
Chico:  It's Drew vs. Stacy vs Jerry. It's a three way final! And from what I hear, people are ... angry.
Joe:    What a surprise
Chico:  Yeah, Jason sent me an e-mail basically faulting viewers for losing Lisa...
Jason:  According to a reputable wrestling website...the boards went crazy saying Stacy is a ringer, the fanbases are too big etc.
Chico:  Gee, and all this time I thought that was the point.
Jason:  If you give 1/2 the vote to the fans...that's called a FANBASE.
Gordon: Listen people. It's a popularity contest. The person's who's the MOST POPULAR wins. People with fan bases are really and truly going to be more popular than people without fan bases. Get over it.
Jason:  This happens in Britain too with "Strictly Come Dancing", Big Brother.
Joe:    American Idol....
Chico:  ...Et al. We wish everyone could be happy, but that's life.. Suck it up, buttercup.
Jason:  Just Shut up and get over it. Not trying to be mean, just trying to be real.
Chico:  Keep it real here...
Mike:   We ALWAYS keep it real
Chico:  Remember the cardinal rule... Give the viewers the vote, live with the decision. But onto a result you CAN control... it's wicked tourney week on two of the four syndicated quizzers...
Jason:  Come to PAPA.
Chico:  Come to Papa indeed, Jason.
Mike:   Papa was everybody's daddy on Friday.
Chico:  The also-ran becomes the king, as Papa Chakravarthy lays waste to all he surveys in the Jeopardy! teen tournament.
Jason:  I have to ask though....did it seem like the questions were easier on this tournament than the kids tournament this year?
Chico:  Yes it did. But again, it's only easy if you know.
Jason:  True.
Mike:   Yes, the questions were easier, Jason.  I think I didn't know a total of three questions during *both* episodes of the finals.
Chico:  First game of the final: Matt Klein, who had heretofore shut out all of his opponents, shut out Papa and my favorite Andrew Kreitz. But after every one blew the first Final Jeopardy, it was a closer game.
Brian:  Wow!
Chico:  So really the second game decided it. Papa blew up in the second game, and was the only person who stood to gain from getting the Final Jeopardy! right. So a lot of factors come together and all of a sudden, my favorite to win.. isn't. The dark horse comes through. Unfortunately, he will not be playing David Madden for $2 million.
Gordon: But let's say that he was able to play for some serious coin in the Tournament. What are his chances?
Chico:  Looking at the competition... Don't think so.
Jason:  Against Madden and Jennings? Slim.
Mike:   Slim to none.  Papa didn't impress me much until last night.  Maybe he might prevail when he knows his back is against the wall.
Gordon: I have to go with the majority. He got on a nice streak in the second game, but with the level of competition he will be up against, he can't do that and get away with it.
Chico:  And besides, they historically don't let the teen champ play in the ToC... So there you go. There was another tournament this week. On the Feud, eight families compete for up to $130,000 and a trip to Hawaii.
Joe:    We talking bout the Feud?
Chico:  Now I didn't want to say this, but thanks to local media.... I know who wins...
Jason:  Ah.
Joe:    Oh noes!  Spoilergasmic! X_X
Chico:  I refuse to say, however, because I don't want to violate the public trust.
Jason:  Good for you.
Gordon: We at WLTI care about the Public Trust. I won't care as much, however, with a nice little $50 donation to...
Chico:  *whaps Gordon*
Jason:  Bad Gordon. *Hits him with a dowel*
Gordon: Ohhh...lookie...hula girls and leeeiiiiiisssss..(Thud)
Joe:    Awww.  I want $50
Chico:  More important things than money.
Joe:    I can buy 2 Import CD's with $50
Chico:  But anyway, the Feud was never about a strategic play, but rather, about colorful characters...  And they don't get as much colorful as the Stewarts, and they think they're going into an Idol audition.
Gordon: You mean they valued personality over game play?!!?
Jason:  Shocking.
Chico:  Yeah... but this family made it into the Contestants bumper. The Contestant Hotline bumper, that is. Another point here... Now if it were me... and it never is, but if it were me, I would've aired all of the season's shows on the first run before airing this tournament... Not many people know who the Abdullahs are, because they aired second run. This coming from co-correspondent Chris Tufts.
Joe:    Well, we knew that FF schedulers were a little odd to begin with, how is this any different?
Chico:  Not really, sir. Another case of Fremantle's gone MAD! MWAHAHAHAHAHA!!!
Jason:  SNAP OUT OF IT! (slaps Chico)
Brian:  Two words - decaffeinated coffee.
Chico:  Sorry... Moving on... Apparently the next round of Deal or No Deal is really big.. *cups ear*
Everyone:   HOW BIG IS IT?!
Gordon: It is so big that even Anna Nicole Smith can't fit it all in her (blank).
Joe:    Works for me
Brian:  AWESOME!
Chico:  It's so big, it makes Andre the Giant look like Mini-Me.
Jason:  Its so big that Kirstie Alley wouldn't eat it.
Chico:  The point is.. It's big... and NBC is out to let everyone know about it.
Joe:    As ought they should.
Jason:  But you know what...this is desperation city if you ask me.
Chico:  How is this desperation city, J?
Jason:  I see this as a stunt...not unlike the $10,000/day stunt on WWTBAM which made Kevin Olmstead rich.
Chico:  It's a little too soon for stunting, though. It could be that they have to build up a decent enough audience for its Monday premiere.
Jason:  Could be. I don't like it though.
Gordon: I happen to agree with Jason. The show itself is thin in gameplay to begin with. You don't want to start out with the gimmicks, or there will be some very early shark sightings.
Joe:    Well, one could argue that Millionaire needed something to break the monotony..  DoND felt really long after awhile in its only week.
Chico:  Yeah, it did start to tail off on its Thursday/Friday shows. You have to build something...
Gordon: Sure you do. It's called hype.
Chico: And speaking of building hype.. Get this... they're releasing three home games... I need a Big Board.
Brian:  Bring it out, Chico.
Mike:   How big is it?
Chico:  So big, that it makes the Titanic look like a dinghy.
Mike:   That is a BIG board

Jason:  (Big Board Sound Effects)
Gordon: <Donald Trump>Huuuuge</Donald Trump>
Chico:  Did we mention the Deal or No Deal show is on before the Apprentice? :) Just thought I'd mention that.  It's the biggest board in the world... It's really great.
Mike:   Does anybody find it interesting we go from GIGANTIC to HUUUUUUGE to Medium on Monday nights?
Jason:  Ha.
Chico:  That is interesting :)
Mike:   All we're missing is Smallville.
Chico:  Congratulations, Mike, you made the reel :)
Mike:   Woohoo!
Jason:  Nice job.
Mike:   Not bad for early on a Saturday morning.
Chico:  Anyway. Behind door number one.. the electronic version. It's basically the show you've been playing on the NBC site... in a hand-held version.
Mike:   Yeah, that's the ticket.
Jason:  Cute, but not worth a buy.
Chico:  It's made by Irwin, and will retail about $15.
Brian:  I'll buy that, despite losing 15.
Gordon: It's not awful
Mike:   If Deal tanks, you can pick 'em up for $3.99 in the clearance section in time for Xmas '06.
Chico:  That's right. Right next to the .com Monopoly.
Jason:  I have the .com Monopoly
Chico:  So do I, Jason. Pretty good game..
Gordon: What's behind the next door?
Chico:  Behind Door #2... we have the electronic deluxe version.
Gordon: Ooooh
Chico:  Anyway, the electronic deluxe version... which looks somewhat cooler...
Jason:  Looks cooler...still not buying it.
Chico:  Looks like the phone the banker SHOULD be using. Can play four players at once.
Mike:   Four players?  I wonder how that works.
Chico:  I don't know.
Gordon: Next up...?
Chico:  And finally, behind door #3... A DVD game.
Jason:  OOOH which one?
Chico:  Not much is known except that NBC and Endemol want this out ASAFP.
Brian:  But at probably the wrong time.
Chico:  Probably, yes.
Jason:  Right.
Mike:   From what I've read, Pressman holds the rights to a box version of
Deal.  If the show takes off, I wouldn't be surprised if that box game hits stores by summer.
Gordon: WHOOP! WHOOP! WHOOP! WHOOP! WHOOP! WHOOP! WHOOP! WHOOP!
Chico:  What's that?
Gordon: THAT Sound means that it's time for Door #4!
Jason:  Alright Door #4!
Chico:  OMGWTFBBQ!
Gordon: And behind Door #4 is.....the online version of the game, which means that you can play the exact same thing that you would for everyone else...for Free!!!
Jason:  LOL
Chico:  WOW...
Brian:  Well, that's better than a kick in the crotch.
Gordon: And since there's no new questions or any reason to have a new
expansion pack, there really is NO reason to buy any of the items.
Brian:  Then I'll go with that.
Gordon: (and you can play this version at either nbc.com or thepalace.com)
Mike:   Or just get 26 envelopes, 26 pieces of paper with the values on them, 26 Barbie dolls, and Chico as your humble host.  I saved you some money.
Chico:  Yeah.. Of course, special thanks to Alex at Buzzer for all this info...
Gordon:   Will 26 pictured of Kim Estrada count?
Chico:  ... Judges? (DING!) Yes, Gordon.
Gordon: Whoopie!
Chico:  Let's use the new ones today.
Mike:   You can use 26 Care Bears.  I don't care.
Chico: But now... do we use the old jackets or the new ones?
Jason:  I have both. (Tosses Jackets in Dry Cleaning Bags)
Chico:  Mice are in place... Choppler's powered... All we need now is for Gordon to say...
Gordon: Roll That Beautiful Brain Footage!

Doug:  (impersonating Mark Thompson) From the four corners of the globe...to your frontal lobe... this is WLTI Brainvision News... with the award winning Brainvision News team.

Chico:  And only 100 percent less slanted than Sinclair news outlets!... that wasn't funny, was it..
Jason:  no.
Chico:  Okay. I'll tell my sister the joke didn't work then.
Mike:   No Sinclair news up here.  Sorry.
Chico:  Gordon, first up?

Musical Contests abound! The latest import from across the pond is the Eurovision Song writing contest!

Jason:  Benny Hill satirized this. This is going to be so bad.
Chico:  HOW BAD IS IT?
Jason:  Everyone laughs at what song wins the Eurovision contest. This will be no different.
Chico:  Only we can laugh at ourselves. In six months, I'll look at the entry from North Carolina and say "We chose HER?!"
Gordon: I happen to love the Eurovision Song contests. There's some great musical talent there, and even if it doesn't win, you get to hear some nice tunes.
Chico:  And even if you don't hear any nice tunes? Then you have nothing. But seriously, I think this can do well... IF NBC puts a lot of back behind it. Not Fear Factor back.. because we all know what happened there, but more like Medium back...My Name is Earl back...The Office back...That kind of back.
Gordon: Baby Got Back.
Chico:  Back... to the news... We've got premiere dates. You wanna hear'em?
Gordon: Lets hear it
Mike:   Of course.
Brian:  Sure, go for it!
Chico:  Okay!
Jason:  Yup.
Chico:  Take these down...

February 26: Iron Chef America. February 27: The Apprentice. February 28: Amazing Race. March 1: both WPT and Top Model. March 14: Nashville Star. March 19: The Next Food Network Star. April 3: Lingo. July 18: The Contender.

Chico:  That's a lot of hot right there. You know, Raleigh's got a chef competing on the next season of ICA.
Jason:  I will be covering that.
Chico:  You'll have to fight me for it :)
Jason:  Round 1...
Chico:  I'll fight you :)
Gordon: Next article...

Who wants a new game show from FOX? This one is called 'Unan1mous', where you have a whole bunch of people in a room fighting for a check worth 1.5 million dollars. The catch - the longer you stay in to negotiate, the smaller the check becomes.

Jason:  A greedy jury. Yuck.
Chico:  This may take as long as 13 episodes... this may be over in a night... but it's on after Idol...It premieres after Idol in March.
Jason:  Still yuck.
Mike:   Didja see who's an EP of Unan1mous?
Chico:  JD.
Mike:   HINT:  He put the "fun" in Fun House...damn you Chico.
Chico:  The announcer of Beauty and the Geek :)
Jason:  JD Roth, producer extraordinaire.
Chico:  Up for an Emmy.
Brian:  I'll have to give the show a look-see.
Mike:   Along with a friend of a few of us, Caleb Nelson (For Endurance)
Chico:  Think he'll show off his Emmy at GSC5?
Mike:   I hope so.
Chico:  "Wow.. I've never touched an Emmy before....." Okay, before this becomes wrong again...
Jason:  JD or Caleb?
Chico:  Either.
Mike:   Both, hopefully.
Chico:  Next... Warning: Science Content..
Jason:  Uh oh.
Brian:  I hope you've got your safety glasses on hand.

Has this ever happened to you? You're sitting at the World Series of Blackjack and you don't quite know what to do next? Well thanks to a new cell-phone program, you'll have the upper hand. It's called Blackjack Cheater...

Jason:  Like that will get past the judges.
Brian:  If you try to cheat, you might get caught.
Chico:  Okay, so it might not get past the judges at WSOBJ, but it might help you win a few hands at a regular table.
Mike:   Emphasis on might.
Gordon: You never know
Jason:  I am very big against gambling cheating.
Brian:  I second that.
Chico:  I prefer to lose honestly, myself.
Jason:  Same here...
Chico:  Except when I happen to have Gordon nearby and he tells me what I should be doing.
Gordon: If you're good enough, then you don't need to cheat =)
Mike:   You trust lucky white boy!
Chico:  Up $45, aren't I?
Gordon: Trust the lucky white boy =)
Chico:  All I have to do now is wait for the hoes to start showing up.
Gordon: I got hoes that want your $45
Chico:  (plays Ludacris's "Area Codes")
Jason:  We have 2 weeks worth of them

In this week's Media Ho Report, Jay Mohr and Nikki Cox get engaged, It looks like Van Halen may be the band for Rock Star 2 after all, the Biggest Loser contestants get to be on Passions, while the cast of Surreal Life gets their own spin-off game show. Meanwhile, Brian Dunkleman has his own Idol spin-off show and Simon Cowell apologizes for comments.

Chico:  Dunkleman's still alive?
Jason:  I know.
Gordon: As for the Ho of the week..we have a tie!
Chico:  Yay, chairman!
Jason:  Do we have two cups?
Gordon: We have 2 cups
Jason:  Cup #1 goes to....?
Gordon: The first cup goes to Ms. Tyra Banks
Jason:  What?
Gordon: Tyra got to be a Barker's Beauty on last Friday's show, as she strutted her stuff on The Price is Right.
Chico:  She is the beautiful distress of mathematics... As she proved on It's in the Bag yesterday.
Jason:  And looked smoking hot.
Chico:  I've never seen a Barker's Beauty jump that much without a trampoline.
Jason:  But she looked good doing what she was doing.
Mike:   <Paris Hilton> That was hot.
Chico:  Mike, you have a clip of that, right?
Mike:   It is available at http://www.classicgameshows.com/video
Gordon: The second person is Skyler Stone.
Chico:  Again? =p
Jason:  Who is Skyler Stone?
Gordon: You know him better as..Skyler Clipner!
Mike:   You remember him from such game show premieres as Whammy! and Dog Eat Dog.
Gordon: Our favorite game show ho who has appeared on Dog Eat Dog AND Whammy is on the newly-released DVD movie Waiting.
Jason:  Oh boy.
Chico:  With Ryan Reynolds... the best slacker actor of our time.
Jason:  So 2 cups go out this week. Very cool.
Gordon: And those...are your hoes.
Chico:  And finally... time to go global on that ass...Actually... no, it isn't.. time to go Oscar...Got my awards mixed up.

GSN is slotting a tribute to Oscar, with Hollywood's best, playing game show's best... I've Got a Secret... Match Game... Password... What's My Line... It's all that.

Jason:  And a bag of chips.
Chico:  it begins Saturday night, March 4, and lasts until 3p March 5. Should be awesome if you're a movie buff or a big fan of old school.
Jason:  Good job GSN
Chico:  Or, if you're like Gordon... Both!
Gordon: Exactly =). Is that it for BrainVision?
Chico:  That's it. Shut'er down, dudes.
Jason:  (feeds mice and gets Jackets)
Chico:  Later on in the show, the three of us compete against Gordon's Blame
Game Board for airtime, but first... I have a birthday present for Jason!
Jason:  Say what?
Chico:  It's coming up, right after the break. This is WLTI, the show that's like university physics, but with more games... and less physics.
Jason:  I love surprises.

(Brainvision News is presented by America's Next Barker's Beauty. Audition for the chance to fondle cars, VCRs, and Bob Bar... hey, how the heck did that get into copy?)

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