March 27, 2005

Chico: Hey there, this is Chico Alexander with a pair of puzzles for you...
Gordon: Oompah loompah doopity doo. Chico has a pair of puzzles for you.
Chico: First one, person...

Joe: *ding*
Chico: Second one, person...

Jason: DING
Mike: Got the second.
Gordon: Oopmah Loompah doopity dee. Kevin Covais on Idol is history.
Jason: I have both. And Kellie Pickler may be next.
Chico: Now what does that tell you, that one's easier than the other?
Jason: I am SO not touching that one.
Joe: It tells you that WoF needs to bring the Preview Puzzle back.
Mike: I knew Gordon was an Oompah Loompah. Now make me some Everlasting Gobstoppers, shorty.
Gordon: I've got an Everlasting Gobstopper in my pants.
Mike: I'm definitely NOT touching that one
Chico: On THAT note...From somewhere in Wonka's Candy Factory, WLTI... is... ON!
Jason: WHOO-HOO!
Gordon: Welcome you to what appears to be a wacky episode of our show. Let's meet the residents of the Chocolate Factory. We start with the Augustus Gloop of our crowd, Mr. Mike Klauss!
Mike: Oh shut up :-P I am glad to say that I have more money on me right now than both of Friday night's Deal contestants' combined winnings.
Gordon: Next up, Mr. Mike TV, as he is our Media Ho for the day...until we get to the media hos...Mr. Jason Block.
Jason: OW!
Joe: Mike the TV? I remember Reboot.....
Chico: Me too... Good times.
Brian: Indeed!
Jason: Mike TV huh...(chuckles)
Gordon: Mike Teevee, actually, but I was being lazy.
Jason: Yes.  So was Tim Burton, but I digress. :-)
Gordon: I don't know if the next guest is like Veruca Salt, but I know he likes their music, Mr. Joe Mello.
Joe: The now out-of-work-in-a-sense Joe Mello.
Chico: Oh? Just because King of Vegas is over...
Jason: And Joe...you saved me from recapping that dreck. Thank you.
Joe: What am I to do now that King of Vegas doesn't have to be recapped?
Chico: Rest until you are needed again =p
Gordon: We'll give Joe something to do. Trust us on that.
Joe: I'm sure dibs was called on GSM 8 years ago
Gordon: I figured you'd like the Chocolate Factory reference, due to the Cara-Mello last name.
Mike: *groan*
Chico: And finally... Charlie Bucket himself, Brian Moore.
Brian: Heyyyyy!
Joe: No prob, and no, Alan Borman is not getting the keys to Detroit
Gordon: Since we're talking about it, let's start with Gamblers with a happy ending first. No love for the self proclaimed porno star from Detroit?
Chico: No love.
Jason: He is the "King of Vegas" I am assuming.
Joe: Yes. Borman beat Jerry Goldberg heads-up to win a transparent suitcase full of money.
Jason: How much was the money supposed to worth?
Joe: $1,000,000.
Chico: Me, I wanted Evelyn Ng to win. But ah well...
Joe: There wasn't enough time to develop the men except to be (^_^)holes
Chico: Not unlike the one that used to be on the set of Millionaire.
Joe: Alan had Aces vs Jerry's Ace-5 of clubs in the final hand
Gordon: When you have one man who likes to take off his clothes and go after Dave Stann (an a-hole in his own right), one person who is either too quiet - or when he talks you wish he was quiet - and one seasoned veteran who just acts like a crotchety old goat, with none of them likable, it's not exactly compelling television.
Jason: Combined with a rudimentary explanation of the rules...not good TV.
Joe: Don't forget the talking heads in the booth
Chico: But still, it's enough for Spike to gloat about, as they have done.
Joe: Just because you made the show doesn't mean you can do color commentary.
Chico: It pretty much ended there.
Gordon: What's the rating on KOV, Chico?
Chico: Let me take a look into my magic box here...
Joe: I never found ratings, but what do I know?
Brian: (As Adam Sessler) I'll give it a 3 out of 5.
Joe: Yay for rogue X-Play reference.
Chico: Okay, here's what I know. People say the show was a flop, and people say that the show grew in numbers, but there was no proof to support EITHER argument.
Joe: All I find is that Spike TV is getting a new logo
Gordon: I was severely disappointed. not in the game, but the players. It's not like they wanted to play a game. It's more like they wanted to outscream each other, regardless of the fact that there's actually a game going on. If I was a casino newbie and have never been in a live casino, and if I saw that show and thought that's what casino life really was, I wouldn't go anywhere near one and would just stay online.
Joe: Yeah. Hate the playa, not the game
Jason: It's all the bad reality show cliches in one game...oh wait, that's Unan1mous.
Chico: Yeah, but more on that later. Right now, we go from hating the playa, not the game, to a guy who really hates the playa... It was a good week to be a banker...
Joe: Very good week to be a banker.
Gordon: With that, we move on to gambling that was not so successful to the players.
Jason: I used Howie's phone and called the Banker this week, with all the money he saved...he bought a new Bentley.
Joe: Monday was disappointing, Wednesday was laughable, Friday was horrendous.
Chico: Yes, yes, and yes.
Joe: I thought he would've invested it in Google stock.
Chico: Let's review, shall we? Monday: two players... Both had big ticket amounts in their cases, but opted out far too soon to make good on any of them. Wednesday... One person just decimated the right side of the board, ending up with $750.
Joe: The 750 was an accomplishment, though.
Chico: Yes it was. At least it wasn't the penny case.
Joe: 8 cases left and she had the top amount. Plus Howie blew a raspberry.
Chico: Into the banker's phone.
Joe: This'll teach Howie to go on Ellen :-P
Gordon: And then there was Friday, where instead of a possible $150,000+ that could have been given out, we wee the banker instead dole out a grand total of...$58.
Chico: Yeowza. We did, however, learn the four-finger point.
Joe: Kathy Hamm did that, too, didn't she?
Jason: Which lead to $8
Joe: And you thought The Price is Right had a tendency to go on the cheap.
Chico: They got hosed..
Brian: (As Carlos Mencia) Dee Dee Dee!
Joe: At least we were having fun in the DoND chatroom
Chico: I'll bet.
Mike: Do you mean that great one at http://www.classicgameshows.com? I'll repeat that in case you missed it.
Jason: Yes that one :-)
Mike: Do you mean that great one at http://www.classicgameshows.com? <-- attention whore mood today
Joe: Yes, but it's funny. I never see you there.
Mike: Because I was working last night and I didn't want to be spoiled. I was there Monday and Wednesday.
Gordon: However we can't say the same thing for Kevin Covais's singing career, which gets spoiled, as well as Kevin's chance of winning American Idol, as he gets eliminated. Thoughts?
Joe: Bout damn time?
Chico: Dude... we have a guide to this sort of thing if you read up.. Both on Deal and Idoling.
Gordon: by the way, Chico, what studly site correctly predicted that Kevin would be leaving this week?
Chico: I've said it before and I'll say it again... reputable sites had Bucky going home? Man, Reputable sites THESE nuts! That's Gameshownewsnet.com, from America.
Jason: The ones who watch the show.
Joe: One of those reputable sites was Tony Kornheiser's mouth
Jason: He said Bucky and or Lisa.
Gordon: Any other site predicting Kevin's departure?
Jason: He was wrong on both counts as was I. Nope.
Gordon: Even Grandma Pepper (hi grandma) got it right
Joe: Moral of the Story: be a douche with a Whammy and you get kicked off.
Jason: However, if I may guess your Chaos theory...Lisa should be gone this week, no?
Gordon: Yes she should, and there's a number of reasons. 1. Too many female R&B singers. In season 3, you had the divas last a while because you didn't have the talent in the other areas. This season, you have talent all over the place. 2. Bucky. He's in trouble and the fans will be making sure that he doesn't stay there. That moves Lisa to the bottom spot. 3. And the most
damning... Lisa's fans last week KNEW that she was in trouble and knew that they needed to call - and the best that she could do was third to the bottom. In the American Idol stat book, every singer who was in the Bottom three for 2 straight weeks and didn't leave finally got their walking papers on week three. Barring some people doing a really brutal effort, I don't see the pattern changing here.
Chico: Anyway, another person on notice this week is Kellie, and I'll tell you why.
Gordon: ok
Chico: 1) Bucky. Because he was in the bottom, he's going to pull more votes this week, barring a horrendous performance.. 2) Next week is 21st Century week. This is what we call "a neuter round", a round which favors no one. Which means that both Kellie and Lisa need to step up their game if they want to stay around. Kellie isn't exactly wowing the crowd as many of the favorites are..
Gordon: I don't think Kellie is as in as much trouble as you think that she is. I know we all WANT her to go, but the fact is that she has too much of a fan base as of now plus there are other genres that are still too crowded before getting rid of people. I do think that she can't keep that up, but we're still congested in both R and B and Pop and I think Bucky leaves before she does.
Joe: Something of note: Vote For The Worst is now expending its full efforts on keeping Kellie Pickler afloat
Gordon: And yes, that is also going to be a factor, whether we like it or not.
Chico: Of course, this is all before a performance, so this is conjecture yet.
Gordon: True, but as the pattenrs go, and I hate to say this, but I think Kellie is safe until at least the Final 6. I think she will run into a problem when it's her, Mandisa, Katharine, Chris, Taylor and Paris left.
Jason: How much does Chris get hurt or helped by the fact he bit off of a "Live" CD instead of being "original?
Chico: See, I don't even remember that Live CD.
Gordon: I think it depends on how many Live fans there are - and how many of them were insulted. Keep in mind that Chris never said that he created it himself. The judges should be blamed for not hearing that version or talking about it.
Jason: Chris played it smart, then.
Gordon: Not really. If he had said that on TV that he took it from Live, then that's smart. The press has picked it up and if Chris is smart, he will address it on Tuesday.
Chico: It was the same on with "I Alone" and "Lightning Crashes", right?
Gordon: correct
Chico: Ah. Right.
Gordon: And no offense to Live, but that song wasn't played on the airwaves, so people aren't going to know about it - unless the media brings it up. I think the only people who care are the music-philes and not the voters, so I don't think it hurts Chris much, as long as he knows how to defuse the potential controversy if the media does pick it up.
Jason: OK.
Gordon: Just remember, you can have as many people who hate you as you want, it won't affect your voting. It's all based on how many people vote FOR you, not AGAINST you, which is why Chris and Kellie are safe for now.
Chico: Key words.
Gordon: Though I do believe that Kellie does need to show up and continue to do what she did last week.
Chico: Paint herself like a whore?... Err.. sing well in her genre?
Gordon: Yes, and stop playing the part of an airhead. THAT could hurt her more than the singing. 'What's ballsy?'
Jason: It will.
Gordon: And I could detect her arguing with the judges, Truly not smart.
Chico: In short.. Cheese and Crackers, woman, shut the hell up before you and Paula start having stupid battles.
Gordon: Yep. It's Lisa and Bucky battling to be out this week. Memo to Kellie - Don't give the voters enough reason for you to join them.
Chico: Speaking of voting and stupid battles.... We had a premiere this week! Yay!
Gordon: Whoo hoo.
Joe: w00t
Jason: May I take this one?
Chico: Fire away, Mr. Block.
Jason: OH THAT one.
Brian: Go for it!
Jason: Unan1mous. 9 people locked in a chamber... the prize--$1,500,000. The catch...everyone has to vote for you. And if you dont get it done, the money goes down. That about do it?
Chico: That about do it.
Joe: This is going to be like the $2,000,000 Question from You Don't Know Jack
Mike: Except Jack was mildly entertaining.
Gordon: Can we just take the same argument that we used for King of Vegas and apply it to this show?
Brian: But, they also have to vote for someone to be out of the running for the cash prize.
Joe: But the end result will be the same: Someone will win $20 and we'll all
laugh at them
Mike: Touche.
Gordon: Yay!
Chico: Laughing!
Jason: I didn't watch it, and don't plan to.
Mike: Neither did I. I flat out forgot about it. But seriously, if someone petitions you to be on a new show, ask what network it's on.
Chico: If they say Fox, run.
Joe: Fox rots your brain.
Chico: That network's the worst thing to happen to the genre since Scott Stone met Dave Stanley.
Gordon: And if the premise enough wasn't bad, the players are. They are either too vapid for words or not charismatic enough. Either way, a show will not work if you want to keep the players in the bunker and not let them out.
Chico: It's like 19-(^_^)ing-84... and playing the role of Big Brother... JD Roth. You know you're in for a sad state when you say the best part about the game is the host.
Joe: I want to see a reality show where the contestant's aren't forced to interact with each other ad nauseum. I'd like to see what that entails.
Chico: That would be Dancing with the Stars :-)
Gordon: It looks like they have been keeping JD in the bunker, too. Is it just me, or does JD look a lot thinner than usual?
Joe: This shouldn't be JD Roth's "Big Break" into adult (ie non-kid) game shows.
Chico: To answer your question, Gordon... No. He's always been that way. Yes, but this isn't JD's Big Break into adult games...
Gordon: I've seen JD Roth on Endurance. In Unan1mous, he's looking more like Anthony Rapp.
Joe: who?
Gordon: (Lead singer in the movie/musical Rent)
Joe: Ohhhh.
Chico: Now... Big Board, please :-)

Joe: Since we're going to the Big Board, can I throw in a "We miss you, Peter Tomarken?"
Chico: You can and may.
Gordon: (Boop boop boop boop boop boop boop boop boop boop boop boop boop boop boop boop)
Chico: The category: WLTI's Life of JD. 1988: a little show called "Fun House" premiered. Everyone rejoiced.
Jason: Amen and hallelujah.
Joe: There was much rejoicing
Chico: I mean, who didn't want to enter the Fun House, huh?
Jason: Exactly.
Mike: And for us sexed-up teenagers, they had cheerleaders. Giggity!
Gordon: JD Roth gets a fan in JD Hernandez...as well as Ryan Vickers.
Mike: But yeah, the main reason I watched was the Fun House itself. Honest!
Chico: Me too... I just happened to peak around that age.
Jason: The Fun House rocked.
Mike: (sexed-up teenagers in 1989, that is)
Chico: Then came 1992 and... What was 1992, then?
Brian: Double Up
Chico: Thank you.
Brian: A variation on The Dating Game.
Chico: In which sibs set a brother up.
Brian: It was short lived.
Chico: VERY. You looked at it and said "They cancelled Super Mario Bros. for this?!" 1994: Masters of the Maze.
Jason: Ah yes.
Chico: He hosted the inaugural season.
Mike: That was a classic.
Joe: Masters Season 1 freaked me out
Chico: No kidding.. It was supposed to be a video game in a game show... and it's like... none of the teams listened to each other... "Go left! NO! Go LEFT! MY LEFT!
Joe: But was it better than Moneymaze?
Chico: Having never seen Moneymaze, I couldn't tell you.
Mike: The Moneymaze was MUCH better.
Chico: Duly noted. The second season was hosted by Mario Lopez, but that's another Big Board for another day.  Next came Animal Planet Zooventure in 1997....
Jason: A fun show, light...but fun.
Mike: Which was getting the rerun treatment on Animal Planet until earlier this year. Er, last year, 2005.
Brian: And on Discovery Kids.
Joe: I think it still is on DSC Kids.
Chico: Sure is, skip. Then came Mad Libs on Disney, which wasn't anything special. Then in 2000: JD teamed with Jennifer Cole (who wasn't THAT bad of a host, just got stuck on this upcoming dreck...) Sex Wars! Hey Mike... Remember $50?
Mike: I had flashbacks to it last night on Deal or No Deal.
Chico: Understandable.
Mike: That $8 DEAL graphic gave me a good laugh, because it probably cost $10 to put that on-screen.
Brian: Indeed.
Chico: Actually, It's quite easy. I'll show you one of these days. =p Fast forward to 2001: "Moolah Beach", a prototype to 2002's "Endurance".
Jason: His first survivor clone.
Gordon: The luck of the tikis.
Chico: His second Survivor clone is actually entertaining on its own merits. And you'll be happy to know that Endurance 5 is now in production.
Mike: I like Endurance, even though a) it airs here on Sunday mornings at 7 AM and b) it won't be on NBC next year.
Chico: Yeah, you're going to have to get Discovery Kids for that.
Mike: Discovery Kids' partnership with NBC is ending this summer.
Joe: Which I believe we reported on last week
Mike: Plus c) a good friend of some of us, Caleb Nelson, works behind-the-scenes on Endurance.
Chico: Yay, Caleb... Nominated for an Emmy.
Mike: Indeed
Chico: Fast forward to 2003 and his next creation, NBC's "For Love or Money". The less said about it, the better.
Jason: That was his first foray into adult producing.
Gordon: For Love Or Money lasted for 4 cycles. Nothing to sneeze at. Also nothing to sneeze at - The Biggest Loser, which debuted in 2004 and is still on the air.
Chico: 2005 brought us his next creation, "Beauty and the Geek".... Which is a winner. In all aspects.
Joe: Yes
Chico: Which brings us to today and... Unanimous. All I have to say is "Dude.. either go with the goatee or don't. Stop switching. Some of us are confused"
Joe: This is one big Big Board.
Chico: Well, he's had one illustrious career for himself =p Even if it was mired by pieces of garbage from time to time.
Jason: He has made the transition from kids to adults pretty seamlessly.
Chico: You know what that reminds me of? Jack Barry. Also seamlessly transitioned from kids to adults. Of course, it helps that he was doing both at the same time.
Joe: Indeed.
Mike: It's almost like he has one good show, two crappy ones, one good, two crappy, and so on.
Chico: It's enough to make your brain spin, isn't it?
Mike: So his next show should be...crap.
Joe: Hey, one good show is better than none.
Chico: Speaking of spinning brains... Jackets! Mice! Footage! GO!
Jason: Jackets (tosses) (puts mice in cage)
Gordon: Roll That Beautiful Brain Footage!

Doug:  (impersonating Mark Thompson) From the four corners of the globe...to your frontal love... this is WLTI Brainvision News... with the award winning Brainvision News team.

Joe: Yay Doug
Chico: Not a second to waste. Gordon? First Brainwave, please.
Gordon: In the new show development department...

MTV teams up with Rolling Stone to find the next best journalist. ANT and Dec are trying a poker bluffing show across the pond, Showtime will be doing an election show with...high schoolers?

Jason: The Showtime show has Mary Matalin and James Carville.
Joe: Why do I think the only one of those that will be good will be the one in the UK?
Mike: Because you're probably right, Joe.
Gordon: Meanwhile...

Cooking With Celebrities looks to be a go with Alan Thicke and Sandra Lee as co-hosts.

Chico: I think I speak for everyone when I say... Sandra Lee, you are on... my.. LIST!
Jason: Uh oh.
Joe: (noobly) Is that bad?
Chico: I just can't stand Sandra Lee is all. Next up...

New updates on Wowowee and the Peter Tomarken Crash. First, Filipino lawmakers have blasted the inquisition on the tragedy that found the network culpable for the event that left 71 people dead.

Jason: That is going to get UGLY in a hurry.
Joe: I have a feeling that Politics is rearing its ugly head in the Wowowee case

As for the Peter Tomarken crash, it was revealed that the NTSB may have found a faulty engine rod, and that Peter was trying to fly back to Santa Monica when his plane crashed.

Chico: ABC7 out of LA released the black box tape... which I find only a morbid person would listen to.
Mike: It aired on our FOX affiliate on Wednesday or Thursday night. Very chilling. FOX affiliate's 10 PM news, I should add. It was just the communication between Peter and air traffic control. It was just sad hearing it.
Chico: Really was.
Gordon: I can't understand why people would want to hear an audio of someone else's own demise and why it's important that civilians need to hear it.
Joe: Reporting the entire story.
Jason: It's the freedom of the press, warts and all.
Joe: It's also to prove that the reporters aren't making it up
Jason: I agree with you, but the press says, "If it Bleeds, It Leads".
Gordon: The important story does not need to include the last minutes of a man. And I'm not blaming the media at all. It is the media's responsibility to do so.  But I'm wondering why the public finds it that enticing to listen to it.
Jason: Morbid Curiosity.
Chico: Next?
Gordon: Guess so. Next article...

The Ultimate Fighter gets renewed for a few new seasons. Bravo Celebrity Poker also looks to return with a Phil.... but it's not Phil Gordon, but Phil Hellmuth instead.

Gordon: Guess that Poker Zen idea with GSN didn't work too well, did it?
Chico: Guess not. :-)
Jason: Nope.
Mike: Phil Hellmuth will not make CPS any better. At least Phil Gordon brought some humor to the table. While I like Hellmuth's persona, he ain't CPS material.
Joe: I'd like to see if Phil H can keep his ego in check
Chico: Hey, it makes for a better show, you know? No? Okay... Well... Who wants to get Fully Loaded?
Gordon: Phil Helmuth does.
Joe: Um, can I have a daiquiri instead? I'm underage.
Jason: I do.
Chico: Not for this, you ain't, Joe:-)

First up, a reminder about the Jeopardy! test online at Jeopardy.com starting Tuesday based on your region!

Chico: MOST of us are eligible for that, J :-)
Jason: (sighs)
Joe: I think I'd fail the college test, so I think I'll pass.
Mike: I'm ready for it
Chico: I... can't do it. I'm working. Damn job.
Jason: Do you think, if this is successful...Wheel will do it as well?
Joe: Maybe. My mother and I tried to get on Wheel a couple years ago when it was in Philly.

But for those who admittedly don't stand a chance in hell (Joe :-) ), we have gambling along with G4's Banzai!

Jason: Place! Bets! Now!
Joe: I think I'd fail that too. ;-P
Chico: So a little Fully Loaded Something for everyone.
Gordon: Anyone for a fully loaded ho?
Chico: We're getting there, Gordon! :-) *plays Luda's "Area Codes"*
Jason: (does the little kid's "Show Me the Money" dance from DOND last night)
Joe: Where's my gong?
Jason: Very funny.
Gordon: In this week's Media Ho Report...

Taylor Hicks' Gray hair may be disappearing, Constantine's Maroulis Band will be disappearing, as Constantine leaves Pray For The Soul of Betty to do his own thing, Alison Sweeney, country singer Big Kenny, actor Tom Arnold, NFL star Tony Gonzalez, rapper Ja Rule, volleyball player Gabrielle Reece and Miss USA 2005 Chelsea Cooley will be on Celebrity Cooking Showdown on NBC, Fantasia Barrino gets an autobiographical movie and Drew Lachey will be hosting Miss USA, and Pumkin, after seeing her antics on Flavor of Love, sees her job disappear as she gets canned.

Chico: Spitting doesn't make you popular :-)
Joe: Pumkin, you fired!
Jason: After all those Hoes...we have one who is the "Media Ho" of the week?
Gordon: We have 3 hoes of the week
Jason: We had 3 cups made! Cool.
Joe: We're gonna run out of Pimp Cups at this rate
Chico: We still have two more seasons before we have to crown a ho'a the year.
Gordon: We have the littlest hoes, as Barron Trump (being the Donald's kid) and Lea Lachey (Drew's kid) are introduced to this world and the world of media hoes
Jason: Ouch. (laughs)
Gordon: And they share it with...Travis Schario!
Joe: HOLY ZEN!
Jason: WHAT?
Gordon: Our own Travis Schario gets a nice article about his times at The Price is Right and his internship there - and he neglects to tell us. I find the article which is how we know about it. What's? Up? With? That?
Chico: Actually...He told me.
Gordon: And why didn't you tell me?
Chico: I forgot.
Gordon: So Travis gets a cup - but I'll put a dent in it first before sending it to him. http://www.wtap.com/news/headlines/2514596.html
Jason: Nice.
Gordon: And those...are your hoes.
Chico: Someone's a hater...
Joe: Gordon takes Haterade showers daily, right?
Gordon: I do. Helps the complexion.
Chico: 60% of Gordon is Haterade. The other 40% is groove-a-licious funk. Finally...

Congratulations to our friends in Australia, who're celebrating the 5000th episode of Wheel of Fortune. Cheers!

Gordon: Yay!
Joe: Good on ya!
Chico: The longest version outside the US.
Jason: Aussie! Aussie! Aussie!
All: OY OY OY!
Jason: Too much soccer and Joseph Hachem.
Chico: Well deserved, because when you think about great game shows in Australia, three shows come to mind... Temptation... Deal or No Deal.... and Wheel of Fortune.
Gordon: Yay!
Joe: What about Price?
Chico: It isn't that great in Australia.
Jason: Temptation/Sale of the Century et al.
Chico: And that's Brainvision. Okay, shut'er down.
Jason: Mice fed. Jackets into the dry cleaners.
Chico: When we return, we go hunting for swag... And we put gamers in other games, and spin the results for your entertainment. This is WLTI... keeping news, improv, and game shows real... for the future.
Joe: And the WORLD of TOMORROW!

(Brainvision News is powered by Spiel or No Spiel. 26 famous game show catch phrases. Which one's the best? Only the banker knows for sure...)

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