April 10, 2005

Chico: Hey, I'm Chico Alexander, and for the last time... Nikki "Hoopz" Alexander and I are NOT related!
Gordon: This is Gordon Pepper, and (psst, hey little boy. you want a pony?)
Chico: I'd rather have a Hummer.
Jason: We all would.
Mike: I'd rather have the money.
Gordon: Would you rather have Hoopz with you in your Hummer?
Chico: ... sure, why not? That'd be the flavor of from somewhere in America, WLTI... is... on!
Jason: 4 to 100 baby!
Gordon: Welcome with us to the big show, as we meet the guest panel for this show. First up, Dealing from WPLJ, where they have their own Deal or No Deal Promotion, Mr. Jason Block.
Jason: Good morning. Yes, WPLJ is doing a radio version of DOND.
Chico: Gotcha. Next, Mr. Travis Eberle.
Travis: I'm Travis L. Eberle, and I have nothing interesting to say for my introduction.
Gordon: We'll see if Mike Klauss has anything interesting to say. Do you, Mike?
Mike: I might be the only person glad to see both Trato Hecho and PAX's Be at the Clock returning for reruns at some oddball times. TiVo is my best friend. And I would've no dealed the pony.
Gordon: Yay Tivo. Next up, someone who is hoping that Deal Or No Deal will accept Canadians, Mr. Don Harpwood
Don: Yeah. I mean, Howie is Canadian as well, right?
Jason: He was born in Canada. I think he may be duel citizenshipped.
Gordon: Anyways, as is the want of this show, sometimes, we have a surprise
Chico: That we have. Well, aside from the regular bunch of surprises, we have... a mystery guest.
Jason: I love surprises.
Gordon: Say hello, Mystery Guest.
Mystery Guest: hello.
Gordon: In order for you to figure out who the mystery guest is, we like to play a game. Well, this show is no exception. Ready for the game?
Chico: Yep....
Jason: Let's play.
Don: Ready!
Chico: What's the secert game?
Gordon: And this time around, since we haven't done this one, let's play... This! Is! Jeopardy!
Chico: *plays Jeopardy! theme*
Gordon: The answers to the questions are clues to the Surprise guest
Travis: Gah!
Chico: I'll take Gordon's Got a Secret for $200, please.
Gordon: Heh. Here are the categories...

Travis: Throw 'em back! Whoof.
Chico: Right on. I'll take TV for $2 million, Gordon...err, $200.
Gordon: Ok. The answer is...

Travis: <signal>
Gordon: Travis?
Travis: I feel so dirty for knowing this. What was "The Player"?
Gordon: Correct
Travis: Someone get me a washcloth during the first break.
Gordon: Nice. Select again, Travis.
Travis: Let's get rid of Richard Simmons, for 42 quadrillion funny money dollars, please.
Gordon: The answer is...

Mike: *rings in*
Chico: (DING!)
Gordon: Mike
Mike: What is Deal-a-Meal?
Gordon: DEAL a meal is correct
Mike: Let me go to Veep Blunders for $420
Gordon: For $420, The answer is...

Mike: *rings in*
Travis: <signal>
Chico: (DING!)
Jason: DING
Gordon: Mikie
Mike: What is potato(e)?
Gordon: Correct. Select again...  Leather, Roman Culture, Wisconsin
Mike: Ooh, leather. Kinky. Leather for $10,000,000,000,000.44
Gordon: The answer is...

Chico: (DING!)
Gordon: Yes. Mr Chairman
Chico: What is a holster?
Gordon: Noooo (BUZZ)
Don: *DING*
Gordon: Don
Don: What is a sack?
Gordon: Correct. A Burlap Sack
Don: Alright, let's try Wisconsin for $Texas.
Gordon: The answer is...  The Mascot of...
Mike: *rings in*
Jason: DING
Gordon: I didn't finish the question. 2 second delay on both of you!
Chico: HA HA!

Chico: <signal>
Gordon: Yes, Chico?
Chico: What are Bucks?
Gordon: Correct. And the final category...
Chico: Roman Culture for five fitty.

Travis: <signal>
Gordon: Travis
Travis: What is five.  HAHAHAHAHA! <applause>
Gordon: The clues are... DEAL a Meal, Player, Potato, Sack, 5, Bucks.  Travis, care to take a guess?
Travis: I think I'll pass to the esteemed Mr. Klauss.
Gordon: Mr. Klauss - care to take a guess?
Mike: I have the foggiest. Help me, Don!
Gordon: Don?
Don: I think I know.
Gordon: Your guess?
Don: Cheryl Jackson?
Chico: YES!
Gordon: DING DING DING
Travis: You ruined the bit, Don! ;)
Chico: WLTI is pleased to welcome our special guest Cheryl Jackson to the show!
Jason: APPLAUSE Welcome to the show.
Cheryl: Thank you for having me here
Chico: Yay Cheryl!
Jason: Our pleasure.
Travis: Hello, applause and welcome, Ms. Jackson.
Cheryl: Hello all from Texas.
Gordon: And Speaking of Deal Or No Deal, that's where we start off our show this week, as we see the banker getting very creative. What's up with the pony?
Travis: The game is weak, it must be propped up with crutches - or ponies, as it were.
Jason: Travis, please - that was brilliant.
Travis: I'm not sure: were you agreeing with me, Jason?
Jason: Not at all. You and I don't agree on much game show wise :)
Travis: We don't? I'm saying merely that there isn't much game. It's all in the show. And it's a great show.
Jason: Ok. Ill buy that Travis.
Chico: How did he get the pony in the first place?
Travis: I'm going to go with "magic."
Gordon: I think Penn and Teller may be hiding in the case
Mike:  Don't you know Burbank is America's breeding ground for ponies? /sarcasm
Don: Man, seeing the pony as part of the offer really caught me off guard.
Chico: And Hummers. Something that usually pops up in the Oz version of Deal...
Travis: And on the Oz version, they have that neat 'peel out' sound effect as the "car" graphic turns over when it's picked.
Chico: But it's never part of the offer, it's just on the board for picking...
Jason: Back to the Pony. The dad couldn't disappoint Savannah.
Cheryl: True. It's all about the show. The people make the show, don't you agree?
Chico: Definitely. I mean, Deal or No Deal is very people driven.
Gordon: I agree with Cheryl. The game is good, but it's all about getting into the essence of the people that makes the show what it is. The pony was priceless.
Chico: Would you have taken the pony, Gordon?
Gordon: I would have gone to my daughter and say, listen, all the pony is going to be is winding up at the glue factory. But then again, that's the Haterade in me.
Travis: That would be very funny to watch. I would like to see more interaction with the banker. Whether it's trying to hustle a few more grand out of an offer, or getting to hear from the banker himself.
Cheryl: I like the mysterious banker.
Jason: I loved the graphic at the end....$44,000....and a PONY! Too hilarious.
Travis: The bank got off scot FREE after that.
Cheryl: I would like to see an offer made from jump steet maybe 100k before any suitcase is ever opened
Travis: "For doing nothing at all, here's $100,000 to walk away and never return..."
Chico: Gives new meaning to the phrase "pick your pony"..
Gordon: Those shows are the ones that stand out and that's what makes the show stand out as well. Anything that's had anything extraneous has been talked about. The Pony, The Hummer, The Cheerleaders, your show with the Choir.
Cheryl: I've noticed that too.
Chico: And the daughters with the Navy chief who wanted an RV. I remember that one.
Jason: And Sheetal's grandmother who was flown out.
Chico: And Donald Trump... I don't remember anything about that one, though :)
Gordon: Donald tells the guy to deal which he does - and then The Donald was right, Classic.
Chico: Congrats, your Klauss-Gibson sarcasm detector's busted.
Cheryl: It's funny, because after I lost and said what I did they said I gave the show a new meaning.
Gordon: You absolutely did, Cheryl. Your show goes down as one of the most memorable events of the past year, easy.
Jason: You could win an award at GSC5.
Cheryl: Thanks
Jason: PLUG PLUG
Gordon: Speaking of which, Cheryl, have you ever heard of the Game Show Congress?
Cheryl: No
Jason: Educate please, Mr. Pepper.
Gordon: GSC stands for the Game Show Congress, which is a place where they celebrate the year in game shows and celebrate the shows of the past and the present. We also do a live show there.
Gordon: In addition, we also go to tapings, as well as The Price is Right tapings and other shows. You'll be hearing much more about it after this week, once the publicity machine starts to roll.
Chico: It's in LA on July 14 weekend.
Cheryl: I'm sooo there. Please hold while Cheryl books her flight. lol
Gordon: We'd love to see you there.
Cheryl: Maybe I will receive a graceful loser award
Chico: Nominee! :)
Travis: It'll be a bowling trophy with a roll of dimes on top instead of some shlub with a ball. ;)
Chico: Down, Travis...
Gordon: You never know. And we segue this on to someone who received last year's Best Game Show Host award - Meredith Vieira. She is one of the major newsmakers this week as she moves from The View to The Today Show. The question becomes - Does she also leave Millionaire? And What happens to that show?
Jason: She announced it on Thursday on the View, and then later had a press conference with Matt later on in the day.
Chico: The chain of command: Katie Couric leaves Today for CBS News. Meredith leaves The View for "Today."
Jason: And NBC staffers rejoice :)
Cheryl: You know Meredith and Star didn't seem to be getting along too well
Chico: I personally didn't think Star Jones got along with anyone, but I digress.
Mike: Star got along with nobody. Star and Joy, Star and Meredith... Al Reynolds better have gotten a pre-nup. :-)
Gordon: Agreed. It certainly didn't look like that chemistry was there.
Chico: But the future of her and Millionaire are up in the air...I present some options. Big Board, please.

Chico: Title: Much Ado About Meredith. Option 1: Adjust Millionaire schedule to co-opt with Today schedule.
Jason: Well that would be only for 6 months. But it would be a tiring 6 months, and I don't know if NBC would want her to do both right away. Although she does have 2 years left on the Millionaire deal.
Chico: That she does. Which leads us to Option 2: NBC buys out the rest of the Millionaire contract.
Jason: That's what I think is going to happen.
Chico: This would leave Davies with the task of choosing a successor.
Gordon: Which I'm sure that everyone at WLTI would love to try out for.
Chico: Heck yeah.
Cheryl: Heck I would try out for it too.
Gordon: Assuming that we would all be on that list, who else would you like to see host Millionaire?
Jason: The names bandied about have been Tony Danza, Wayne Brady, Drew Carey and Rosie O Donnell...none of which give me a thrill.
Don: I can't really picture any of those 4 hosting the show...
Cheryl: ditto
Chico: Wayne Brady would probably come closest, but... no.
Gordon: I think Rosie or Wayne would do a good job, but I think the better play would be someone who has an entertainment background. Someone like....Howie Mandel.
Jason: Are you serious?
Gordon: Forget the DOND gig. You've seen his hosting chops. He'd be a nice fit for Millionaire, wouldn't you think?
Jason: Actually, yes.
Don: Hmm... That would certainly be interesting.
Cheryl: Yeah, he would be a nice fit
Chico: Yeah, but if I know NBC, they won't let him go without a fight. "Yeah, we give you Meredith, you give us Howie, it works out in the end..."
Gordon: I know he wouldn't do it, due to contracts, but that sort of person I think would be a perfect fit.
Cheryl: I agree - NBC will offer Howie crazy money to stay
Chico: I'd say so.
Jason: He has that "it" quality now. He is a host without being one, if you now what I mean.
Chico: I know what you mean.
Cheryl: If I am Howie, I look at longevity and if I can get out the contract, I would consider ALL options. I mean, this is his livelihood and he is the bomb.
Chico: He's got the whole "Less is more" thing going on.
Jason: He is still doing 200 dates a year in comedy. As a matter of fact he is in Atlantic City as we speak.
Gordon: I could see an up and comer who has that background getting the gig. I like Wayne Brady due to that.
Cheryl: Yeah, but Wayne is a real comedian and that show isn't about comedy, but he could throw in some wise remarks in every now and then.
Chico: It's times like this where I think "If only we could revive Bill Cullen..."
Cheryl: or Richard Dawson
Chico: There's a thought... Richard Karn, anyone?
Jason: NO!
Gordon: Ack!
Chico: Okay! Okay!
Gordon: Why don't you suggest BIlly Bush, while we're at it?
Chico: Let's not get crazy, Gordon.
Don: lol
Jason: Or Pat Finn.
Gordon: The question is, who can bring a little comedy into the show but keep the intelligent integrity of the show?
Chico: Let's just say that this is something that we'll be following in the months to come. One person we WON'T see in the host chair.. Seacrest. Who watched Idol last week?
Jason: I did.
Gordon: Me!
Chico: Who was surprised by the departure of Mandisa?
Don: I was surprised.
Jason: And after my rant to Gordon in this week, I thought I was...
Gordon: Sort of...but justifiable.
Jason: but after reading her comments...I can see why she did.
Gordon: I thought Bucky was getting his walking papers, but Mandisa certainly could have gotten the hook - and did.
Chico: It seems that I, in making my picks, forgot the number one rule of the chaos... It only goes into effect when everyone is on a level field. If one person outright bit, then all bets are off.
Gordon: Exactly
Chico: And Mandisa... outright bit. Phone lines are closed. Elvis left the building, yada yada.
Cheryl: As an African American, I knew she was going to get voted off when I heard it was country music week. lol
Gordon: Here's the thing, though. Mandisa didn't get booted because of this week. It may have been the catalyst, but she really did herself in for the past 2 weeks.
Cheryl: Mandisa chose the WRONG song. She should have sang the Dolly Parton version of 'I will always love you'.
Gordon: Cheryl is obsolutely on the money on this one.
Chico: I would've never thought of that.
Gordon: That would have been the PERFECT song for Mandisa She would have been safe with that song - or ANY song in Ray Charles repertoire. Ray Charles has created a huge country catalog.
Chico: For example - Georgia on My Mind would've also been a good one.
Gordon: Yep
Jason: Song selection has killed the last two eliminations.
Chico: Agreed.
Jason: So Gordon....so why did Mandisa leave this week?
Gordon: The problem was not that she was an African American singing country.
Chico: The problem is that she just chose the wrong song. And didn't perform up to snuff with it.
Gordon: The problem was that in a competition, where people listen to Rock, Pop and Country, and that's where the votes are, is that she didn't choose the songs that the main voters like. The snuff part is also accurate.
Chico: I have a trick ear, you know.
Gordon: Lets go to the last 3 songs that she sang. #1 - I Don't Hurt Anymore - Dinah Washington . Anyone familiar with that song?
Chico: ... No.
Don: I hadn't heard of it.
Jason: Nope.
Cheryl: Nope.
Gordon: No one heard of it. Not good. #2 - Wanna Praise You - Mary Mary. Anyone heard of that one?
Chico: Sorry.
Don: Nope.
Jason: Yes.
Cheryl: yes
Gordon: Nope. That's still over 50% of the group - and probably of the voting audience. What about #3 - Any Man of Mine - Shania Twain?
Chico: Actually, Any Man of Mine hit up here. The local AC player is big on Shania Twain.
Gordon: On country in North Carolina. It didn't do anything on the East Coast
Don: I hadn't heard of that particular song, though I have heard others from Shania.
Cheryl: She should have sang one of Kenny Roger's song...Lady, She Believes in Me, The Gambler...
Gordon: ANYTHING that people have heard before. Instead, we get 3 weeks of songs that no one knew and that lead to her departure. Conversely, during 50's week, Paris sang 'Fever', which Madonna covered and is fairly well known. That's why although she has the inferior voice, she is still in the competition.
Jason: So this week--the music of Queen...favorites?
Chico: Chris is a lock. And so is Ace if he chooses We Are the Champions.
Jason: Ace better do "Somebody to Love"
Chico: Or that.
Jason: With that Falsetto note at the end
Gordon: Did anyone recognize Kenny Rogers?
Chico: No.
Jason: I did...but he looks like he lost a ton of weight
Don: Hmm... He did look a bit different to me.
Chico: He looked like Michael McDonald on the cover of Motown Two.
Jason: Agreed.
Gordon: Conversely, I think that next week, the person who better bring down the house or look for a royal screw up is Bucky.
Cheryl: Yeah, and Paris better be careful.
Gordon: Agreed - Lisa was leaving and Paris still wound up in the Bottom 3. That means that the R and B vote went to Taylor and that Paris better bring that A game. But Paris better be able to Feel the Noise, or she could be feeling the way off the stage
Chico: Speaking of noise...Who watched GSN Thursday at 1a ET?
Jason: I did.
Don: I did. I think I should have gone to bed instead.
Chico: Everyone... It's Playmania, you guys!!!!
Gordon: Welcome back to the era of Decades and Trivia Track all over again
Chico: Only ... really really bad.
Gordon: And unfortunately, the production values that went along with it.
Jason: Yeah...I have seen this done in Britain 10 time better.
Chico: I was actually talking to Cory Antoado from Buzzer and he said, "Trivia Track?" I said... "Worse."
Jason: This is the worst thing GSN has done in a long time.
Gordon: This may be blasphemy, but I thought Throut and Neck was done better than this.
Chico: Normally, I'd break out the Book of Zinkin and read the tirades of one Chris Lemon over and over again until you came to your senses... but I agree on this one. Playmania, and I'm being kind here.... is crap.
Jason: The questions are abysmally easy. And the hostess is hot...but annoying.
Gordon: Ryan Vickers wanted to know how he could see it. I didn't have the heart to tell him. Is there anything they can do to get some hope for the show? Besides have the hostesses walk around with even skimpier clothing?
Chico: Tape pictures of Mel Peachy and Shandi up on a wall with one of my old FastTalkers puzzles in the middle. That's ... actally more entertaining than the product we got on GSN.
Don: I did note a few things. For example, the during the top 5, the hostess decided to increase the values of the unclaimed answers over time. This eventually caused the #4 answer to be worth more than the #1 answer.
Jason: Which makes NO SENSE!
Chico: Unless your name is Bil Dwyer.
Don: And another thing... For the Lingo bit, they apparently accept guesses which aren't words. Such as "steap".
Chico: Again... Steap... Not a word.
Don: I'm now convinced that PlayMania's target audience is people who are half-asleep.
Chico: GSN... you can do better than this.
Jason: We know you can.
Chico: This is the network that pulled in viewers by dropping people down holes for two years!  Use your brains!
Gordon: This is the point that I REALLY miss Peter Tomarken. He would have
been so perfect for this.
Jason: No kidding.
Chico: Yep.
Jason: So GSN, you can improve on this.
Chico: You get one more shot next Monday with I've Got a Secret...I expect good things.
Gordon: Don't you dare screw that show up
Chico: No seriously. I mean, have you seen the commercials? I'm hopeful. Meanwhile... LET'S DO THE NEWS! Jackets! Choppler! Mice! Gordon!
Jason: Let's do it.
Gordon: The Choppler is in the Shoppler.
Chico: You're kidding...
Gordon: Nope. Some guy who looked like J.D. Roth and said that since they cut the budget in Unan1mous by half, that they took half of the Choppler's motor as well. Very sad.
Chico: Damn.. We still have the footage, though, right?
Gordon: I think we got enough here. We got at least half of it.
Chico: I mean, if you say "Roll that beautiful brain footage", it'll still run, right?
Gordon: I think so. Let's try it. Roll That Beautiful Brain Footage.

Doug:  (impersonating Mark Thompson) From the four corners of your globe to your frontal lobe, this is WLTI Brainvision News, featuring the Award-Winning Brainvision News team.)

Chico: See, that worked...
Gordon: Yay! First article?
Chico: First Article, also segueing from Playmania...

Shandi Finnessey is traveling across the country looking for Lingo contestants.

Chico: I believe our own Klaussie is going to one of those auditions. I think so... He might. It's possible...
Mike: I'm going to the Akron Lingo audition on May 6.
Chico: Oh. That's one day AFTER Jason's show.
Jason: Which is May 5, I believe.
Don: Wow.
Jason: No kidding.
Cheryl: Tell him to were something that stands out for the audition. Carry a poster or something different that will get you noticed.
Gordon: Next article...

Let's talk ratings. The Amazing Race gets a half-hearted boost. Getting a full boost - all of the Food Networks Gaming Properties, which get a renewal.

Jason: So we are having NFNS III?
Chico: And IC4. And a new show... Throwdown with Bobby Flay.
Jason: I am glad.
Chico: It's like Ken Jennings... only with Bobby Flay.
Jason: Cooking trivia?
Chico: No, just a cookoff.
Jason: Ok
Chico: Also getting a renewal, High Stakes Poker.
Jason: Like that too.
Chico: We talked about renewal, now let's talk new series.
Gordon: Lets talk new series.

Mark Burnett is teaming up with Steven Spielberg for "On the Lot", an Apprentice-goes-to-the-movies show for Fox.

Chico: It's the standard Mark Burnett formula.
Jason: Which could be very very interesting.
Chico: It could be. Or it could be "The Contender", with results mixed at best. All I'm saying.
Gordon: I know the formula works. I'd like to see Burnett get out of that formula and see what chops he really has. I liked what he did with Combat Missions, where the game was focused on team play and you can rearrange your team.
Chico: Okay, Gordon, next?

Miss America will go on...as a Reality Show. The Search for the Next Miss America will now be an 8 episode show, with the viewers voting on the finalists.

Jason: Yuck.
Chico: Ick.
Jason: I am not happy about this.
Chico: The less said about this, the better.
Gordon: So no one watches this. Meanwhile, we get big ratings for Unan1mous. What's up with that?
Jason: Too much AI lead in, and the show's concept is...well...interesting.
Gordon: Is it any less interesting as the money dwindles? It's an 8 episode show, so the money's only going to go down.
Chico: Too bad that's the only thing that's interesting... and JD Roth, of course.
Jason: Of course.
Chico: Next... We get fully loaded!

Rock Star: Supernova's behind-the-scenes shows will be available for streaming online, rather than streaming on VH1.

Chico: You notice that once CBS got rid of those shows, the ratings *sweep* spiked?
Gordon: The behind the scenes shows are only good if there's a good back story. In this case, painting JD as a punk was something that the public wasn't interested in
Jason: right.
Chico: It got him the gig... somehow...watch the same thing happen to Love Monkey and we get another three years of Teddy Geiger... and speaking of hoes... *plays Ludacris' Area Codes*

In this week's Media Ho report, politics go after The Apprentice's Raj's criminal record, Billy Bean comes out - literally AND figuratively, for I've Got a Secret, Lisa Tucker gets to go to the OC, Naomi Campbell gets to go home as she pulls out of Celebrity Cooking Showdown, and Paula Abdul goes after someone who abused her.

Chico: And who's your Ho of the Week?
Gordon: The Ho of the Week is...Flava Flav...and anyone who will be auditioning for Flava Of Love...2!!! That's right, Flava of Love 2 will be coming out, as Flava is STILL looking for the love of his life.
Jason: Ha.
Chico: Keep hope alive, bro...
Cheryl: Just when I thought television couldn't get any worse.
Gordon: It can get worse.
Chico: People just keep surprising, you know...
Don: I didn't think it was possible for someone to try a second time to find love through a show like that...But there it is.
Jason: And there will be women who try.
Cheryl: If I was chosen for that show and won... that's worse than winning FIVE dollars just to be chosen for that show
Gordon: it worked for Trista. It worked for Mary. It didn't work for Sarah. We'll see what happens here
Chico: Two words... Bob Guiney.
Gordon: And those...are your hoes.
Chico: Okaydokey, with that, Brainvision is done. Next, Cheryl Jackson survived opening 26 cases... Can she survive answering 20 Questions? That and a rousing game of Buen Trato is next. This is WLTI, the show that beats you up, takes your girlfriend, and then laughs at you afterwards.

(Brainvision News has been brought to you by Unan1mouse. Nine people compete to see who can win a menagerie of animals. If you take too long though, the animals disappear and are taken as wish fulfillment on Deal or No Deal. Pony, Anyone?)

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