Game Show Newsnet

Episode 31.14/15 - 2012 Year In Review
December 24/31

Chico: The winner will be decided on "Last Christmas", I swear
Jason: If they do Christmas (W)rapping, I will watch
Chico: Judges?

(ding)

Gordon: Lovely. I prefer to hear toilets flushing.

(Hamsters Wheel in Supertoilet 8000)

Chico: I got eight shows. You tell me whether they get the bell or the plunger
Jason: Or the pastry or jiggle.
Gordon: Sounds good. Please present
Chico: First up...

MACHINES OF GLORY Discovery - December 30
CHICO	GORDON	JASON	PUSH
PUSH	PUSH	PUSH

Gordon: I like the idea. It seems more of a burnoff than a show, but I like the concept. I'll watch it. PUSH.
Chico: I'll PUSH it as well. Probably airing as a proof of concept. Because they're airing all three shows at once.
Jason: PUSH as well. It is a burnoff, but something I would watch
Chico: Right So it's getting a push. (bells) Next...

THE BIGGEST LOSER: CHALLENGE AMERICA NBC - January 6
CHICO	GORDON	JASON	PASTRY
PASTRY	PUSH	PASTRY

Jason: Pastry - Jillian Michaels is back...but too little too late.
Gordon: Push. Now they need to be as good when Jillian was there the first time around.
Chico: PASTRY. Jillian is back and age is nothing but a number. Yeah, where've we heard this one before?
Gordon: The major problem for the show is while back then, a low number was good. With the new shows performing well, the same numbers of 6.8 million and change may not be good enough.
Chico: Especially on a Sunday, where it may face playoff football. Next...

RACHAEL VS. GUY: CELEBRITY COOKOFF Food - January 6
CHICO	GORDON	JASON	FLUSH
FLUSH	FLUSH	FLUSH

Chico: Why? FLUSH.
Jason: FLUSH-O. This was bad the first time.
Gordon: Flush. This was just ugly.
Jason: ONE...
Chico: TWO
Gordon: THREE....
Chico: PLUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUNGE!
Gordon: Weeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee
Jason: With a hint of tarragon
Chico: Next...

THE BACHELOR ABC - January 7
CHICO	GORDON	JASON	PUSH
FLUSH	PUSH	PUSH

Chico: Why? Again? FLUSH.
Gordon: Because it gets good ratings and until it doesn't...PUSH.
Jason: What Gordon Says...PUSH. You can't deny the Fleiss...even though it's total crapola...it's ratings CRAPOLA. It gets the numbers.
Chico: It's fake! It's phonyI BALONEY!
Jason: It's junk food TV!
Gordon: Chico just wants to be Sean Lowe
Chico: You were right the first time when you were talking about torturing me with it. Next..

CHOPPED Food - January 8
CHICO	GORDON	JASON	PUSH
PUSH	PUSH	PUSH

Jason: Please. PUSH THIS HARD.
Chico: One of those shows that just keeps on going. PUSH.
Gordon: Definite PUSH here. It's a fun little show.
Chico: (bells) Next...

FACE OFF Syfy - January 15
CHICO	GORDON	JASON	PUSH
PUSH	PUSH	PUSH

Gordon: Push this one also. It's another fun little show.
Chico: Indeed
Jason: This and Hot Set make Syfy a really good reality competition double shot. PUSH
Chico: PUSH (bells) Next...

AMERICAN IDOL Fox - January 16
CHICO	GORDON	JASON	FLUSH
FLUSH	JIGGLE	FLUSH

Gordon: This is the first time I've done this, but when you get judges that are more worried about themselves than what they are supposed to be doing...Jiggle.
Chico: I was going to ask if it was wrong of me to flush it.
Jason: What Gordon said...but even worse...wake me when the hot guitar guy doesn't win. FLUSH
Chico: Because it's not about the game anymore. It's about the judges. When you have THAT... your money machine is broken. FLUSH. And finally...

KING OF THE NERDS TBS - January 17
CHICO	GORDON	JASON	PUSH
PUSH	PUSH	PASTRY

Chico: Finally! A show I can relate to.
Gordon: I'll let you two go ga ga on it. Until I see something that equates to gameplay, I'll Push. I'll give it a Pastry though
Jason: No, I was going Pastry. Let's see Gameplay
Chico: I was going to PUSH. I like the premise, but it looks like it's all premise.
Jason: If they don't make it about making FUN of nerds, then I will watch
Chico: I'll push CAUTIOUSLY
Gordon: And that's the Pushing on this episode. We'll have more in 2 weeks.
Chico: Meanwhile, let's get one more break in. Our final thoughts after this...

(Brought to you by Grizzlebees Post-Mayan Brunch! We don't have any apocalypses here, but we do have some Celebrity Celery Salad, followed by Beet Bachelor Soup and an Open Face-Off Turkey dinner with American Idol Cheese. You don't have to be the King of the Kitchen to enjoy our dessert: a Chopped Chocolate Pear Sorbet. That's Grizzlebees. You'll wish you had less fun!)

Jason: YUM!
Chico: I love that dessert item. Okay, time to wrap up the year with our final thoughts about 2012. Let's go to Jason Block first.
Jason: Two events shaped this year for me. #1 - The death of Dick Clark. #2 - Todd Newton winning his first Emmy for Best Game Show Host. An Icon of the past contrasting with the potential icon of the future. The future is BRIGHT. Look at Feud, Wheel, J!, Deal, and others. Let's Ask america. 2012 was great...2013 is going to be awesome. I can't wait to see what happens next. And I haven't been this excited in a LONG LONG TIME. Thank you.
Chico: 2012 for me was a year where we saw game shows' role in the greater scheme of things. Not only did we see the death of a TV icon and the rebirth of one of his all-time classics, but we bore witness to tragedies man-made and natural. In that, game shows were a welcome refuge from a weary world, a place where we saw the best of America in both physical, mental, and artistic talent.
Yes the after-effects of such horrors will be with us for a long time, as will the debate over said aftereffects, but in game shows, we could see our best people. People who are walking among us. Someone's father. Someone's mother. Someone's significant other. Someone's best friend. Someone's child. Someone's coworker. Someone you know. Someone you don't. As much of a landmark as 2012 was, 2013 will be even more so if we work at it. And with that, I'll just say best wishes for a brighter and happier 2013.
Gordon: This year, it's about the audience. It's about demographics. It's about what they want and what they don't want to see. We know who they want to vote for - usually - and we know what they like and what they don't. This year, for me, 2012 has been the year of the audience disconnect - the producers trying to figure out how to change the audience - and failing miserably. Cassadee notwithstanding, America likes hot guy with guitar and good shows. The producers need to see it, cater to it, and give us a new format. The future is bright for 2013 - let's see the producers achieve it. On a different note, I would like to thank aeveryone who reads our columns and shows. If you have been through any tragedy and if we have been a form of relief to it - then I feel honored to have been read by you.
Chico: Well put, G.
Gordon: Next week, the written version is off, but we will have a Podcast version of our show next week.
Chico: Very special podcast version, 2012: The Best and Worst of Everything, where we'll talk who reigned supreme and who ... well.. didn't. And because you've been good little boys and girls, we may play a game or two besides. Hope to see you over at CLW83.com for that. And as a reminder, you can email us over the break at wlti@gameshownewsnet.com or facebook us or Twitter us @wltiongsnn.
Gordon: So for everyone, this is Gordon Pepper saying Game Over, Spread the Love, and see you in 2013!

(montage: to the tune of Bruno Mars' "Locked Out of Heaven")

Gordon: Chico, you're the Bachelor.
Chico: I'm the Bachelor
Gordon: There are 25 women hanging out. They come out, What would you expect them to do?
Chico: Here I am. Wow me!
Gordon: What would be the worst possible impression?
Chico: Umm.. "Hi, I'm a total bitch."
Gordon: No.
Chico: "I just wee'd myself?"
Gordon: ...that's pretty bad.
Chico: Uhhh.. "I went out with Gordon Pepper once."
Gordon: Oh you really don't want to go down that road.
Chico: :-)

*****************

THE TRADITIONAL INAUGURAL LUNCH FOR THIS PRESIDENT & VP FEATURED BOILED STUFF LOBSTER & PRIME RIBS OF BEEF AU JUS.

Chico: Both tasty.
Jason: Very.
Chico: Jason?
Jason: Who is JFK and Lyndon B. Johnson?
Chico: JFK & LBJ from JIB. GMP?
Gordon: I would have said who was George W. Bush and Dan Quayle, but they were already stuffed with something else made from a bull.
Rob the Cash Cow: Moo?
Gordon: Yes Rob. You call it fertilizer.

*****************

Eventually revealing the answer GENERAL HOSPITAL, what was the first letter Vanna White ever turned on "Wheel of Fortune"?

A: S
B: R
C: T
D: N

Chico: Audience?
Josh: R!
Chico and Gordon: NO!
Josh: ACK! *runs and hides*
Chico: Five minutes in the penalty box, Josh.

*******************

Sweet Home Alabama or Funny or Die's Billy on the Street

Jason: How about neither and watch any of DVDs?

How about...no.

Chico: Here we go. Watching... DVDs of Studio Ghibli classics. Recording... the number of braincells dying as I drink beer after beer.
Gordon: Watching: Sweet Home Alabama. DVRing: Billy on the Street and then sending them to Chico and Jason as internet memes.
Jason: NO NO NO (block)
Chico: Unsubscribe

**********************

This statement from Alex Trebek regarding Jeopardy!'s announcement of May's DC Power Players Week. "We'd love to get people from Congress, but they're not likely to submit to this kind of interrogation..."

JUST WEIRD

KINDA WRONG

WRONG

REALLY WRONG

EVERYBODY PANIC

Jason: Snarky Alex...I love it. Although Jeopardy has gotten covertly political over the last few years in the questions. 1.
Chico: For people who think that way, J... It's a quiz show. It's trivia. You know it. Or you don't. Simple.
Jason: That's true. But the quote itself was brilliant :-) '
Chico: Anyway, I'm going to go ... about 4. It's minor, but again, where's someone who represents big government. We've seen pundit after pundit. I'm ready for the real deal. I'm ready for the real deal Holyfield.
Gordon: 1. If I'm a senator, specifically one looking to be elected, this is a fine forum for me to have an awful showing and be deemed, right or wrong, that I'm an idiot, unft to run this country. I would avoid this like the plague. The only people who should do this are people not running for re-election.
Jason: Exactly.
Chico: Congrats, Gordon, you made the end-of-year reel with that one. :-)
Gordon: Whoo hoo!

***********************

Chico: Last Thursday, David had a chance to secure his place in the TOC and get over the 100,000 mark. Then he met... Tony Winning Musicals.

THESE 2 BACK-TO-BACK TONY WINNERS FOR BEST MUSICAL (1987 & 1988) WERE BOTH SET IN PARIS

Jason: Easy
Chico: Jason? How easy is it?
Jason: What are "Les Miserables" and "The Phantom of the Opera (which BTW...is STILL on Broadway almost 25 years later)
Chico: Gordon?
Gordon: What is Last Tango in Paris and Emmanuelle in Paris?
Jason: Hello. :-)
Gordon: I don't know about singing, but there was plenty of moaning with people doing other things with their bodies besides dancing. :D
Chico: and GOODNIGHT!
Jason: Don't forget the peanut butter.
Chico: Damn it all to hell, this is a family show! =p
Gordon: I don't think there were any families involved in those movies, but that would be really kinky.
Chico: OKAY!

***********************

Steven Tyler. You've seen the women of Idol on Week #1. How do you think they did?

Chico: Here we go..
Jason: Like chunky on a monkey. Like ice cream on a sundae. It was like buttah. I think there were at least two women that I think I can hit...I mean I think who can win
Chico: Was it the hip to your hop, the flip to your flop, the skip, skop, scoobity bop?
Jason: Exactly. Jessica did really really good.
Jason: So did Skylar
Chico: I liked Hallie, myself.
Gordon: What about complaints that you be be flopping on some woman's flip?
Jason: I could flop on a woman's flip, without having the daughter's daddy lop off my flip
Chico: And at 63, it would probably never flip again.

***********************

1) LOVE TRIANGLE VS. #2) RED OR BLACK for the (Inter)National Chumpionship.

Chico: Again, in the long run, Love Triangle will be a pinky-toe note in history. Red or Black can bring down a business. Your Chumpion... RED OR BLACK.
Joe: Red or Black--I think getting into trouble makes you more worse
Travis: Triangle.
Rob: While Red or Black was overproduced, overhyped, overblown and overscandaled, Love Triangle is one of those concepts that sucked in the beginning, sucked when it was taping, sucked while it aired. It should never have made it past the pilot stage. Love Triangle goes chalk and wins it all.
Chico: And in grand fashion.... as it was written in the book of Amasia, the 2011 National Chumpion will be decided... by Gordon Pepper.
Gordon: Who me?
Chico: Yeah, you!
Gordon: So we have Excused, which is far and away a horrible horrible show. However, Red or Black is the only show this year that has sparked controversy. They have had people lose jobs over this show. They have had horrible background checking skills that have sparked another controversy. And the show itself sucks. So therefore, the worst show of 2011...is.....

RED OR BLACK (CONFETTI)

***********************

Chico: Cathy has $12,600 to Dennis Wright's $25,200 going into Final Jeopardy. That's exactly HALF of his total. She bets $6000 on a wrong response. What's the right answer, kids?
Gordon: She has to bet it all. it's the last question. Correct
Chico: So... what was she thinking?
Jason: She was just using the new Political math. $6,000 = $12,600.
Chico: Thank you, Mitt Romney. :-)
Jason: (BLEEP) you, Chico
Gordon: If I was a Republican, this is how I'd balance my budget
Jason: (BLEEP) you, Gordon
Gordon: And we have the counter from our resident Republican.
Jason: :)

***********************

Frequent Fashion Reality Star Kate Spade

Chico: That Tommy Hilfiger bastard gets on American Idol and what do I GET? Handbags on the Price Is Right.
Jason: Price is Right, Let's Make A Deal...thank goodness I am not judging Fashion Star :-)
Gordon: As an Alumni of Kansas, I think my next challenge will be to make a handbag with the college colors. Go KU!
Chico: I HATE YOU, GORDON PEPPER!
Gordon: You love me. You're just going through UNC March Madness withdrawal. The pain will go away...in around 30 weeks.
Jason: Kate Spade really is a Kansas Alumni?
Gordon: She is. Look it up.
Jason: Who knew? :-)
Chico: OH JUST RIP THE BLEEPING BAND AID OFF, WHY DON'T YOU?
Gordon: ...well then...ENJOY THIS!

(This episode of 'Chico shreds his brackets and curses out Gordon' has been brought to you by Kentucky Fried Tarheels. This week's Flavor: Jasmine Jayhawk. Taste the Orient as your tastebuds taste a tad of the East...but not the East Bracket. Kentucky Fried Tarheels. Ramses done right!)

Chico: .... Why do I even bother with you? =p

***********************

Dear Dr. Gordon -

I hate Ben...marry me!

- Signed Courtney!

Gordon: Dear Courtney - Unlike my co-worker Chico, who's a snob, I love my fans. However, do you know what Chico really likes? He secretly likes Carnie Wilson. LOVES her. So I'll gladly have one date with you if you can land me her number. Signed, Dr. Gordon.
Chico: Gordon... you dead.
Jason: I have no more advice
Gordon: See Chico? I'm helping you out. And her new show premieres on Sunday.
Chico: DEAD!

***********************

Chico: I'm Chico Alexander... and now... a moment for class... *puts on fancy monocle* Ahem... "Two houses both alike in dignity.... " BWHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!
Gordon: (Comes out in Romeo Montague outfit) A rose by any other name has never smellt so sweet.
Chico: ... and now I'm disturbed. :-)
Gordon: Not yet. you'll be disturbed when I say...come out, Jason!
Jason: (Comes out as Juliet Capulet) HELLO!
Chico: AND I JUST THREW UP IN MY MOUTH A LITTLE.

*******************

Chico: Now what do you have for a guy who gives a live crab to a blind woman?
Gordon: Probably more where that came from :)
Chico: ...
Gordon: (Think about it. it'll come to you).
Chico: ... Gross. :-)
Gordon: Si Si.
Chico: Cangrejos.

*******************

Gordon: 3) You know we wouldn't be GSNN without asking the questions that the die hard fans want to know. And as a die hard fan, A. Why didn't you bid $856 in contestant's row and B. Why didn't you bid $1 in the Showcases when your opponent looked like they went over?
Scott Hostetler: Sportsmanship is everything - it feeds Karma. Everyone is there to have fun and I think it would be horrible to get to Contestants Row and have your every bid bested by $1. It's rude. Did I really think the exact price was $856? No, before the show I told my daughter that I would bid at least $25 higher, then I went $45 over. I also felt it would be insulting to the show and to Deborah if I bid $1 on the showcase. It's tough up there and she made a mistake, no need to rub it in. If it were football that would draw a flag for taunting and excessive celebration.

*******************

Chico: Next week...

All Wheel Sports, Olate Dogs, David Garibaldi & his CMYKs, Clint Carvalho and his Extremely Boring Parrots, Shanice & Maurice Hayes, The Magic of Puck, Jacob Williams, the Untouchables, Lightwire Theatre, THIRD PLACE!!!!!, Sebastien "El Charro de Oro", and Tim Winnerberry.

*******************

Chico: I'm taking the company line. And until someone from the company does otherwise, I'm going with that.
Gordon: Ok Chi-cow. I'll lead you to McDonalds.
Jason: Moo.
Rob the Cash Cow: Moo.
Chico: Three to one, G. =p
Gordon: You stay out of this, Rob.

*******************

Gordon: The right answer is C. However, Monique decided that The Hurt Locker, Pretty in Pink and You've Got Mail were all musicals and said Glee.
Chico: The Hurt Locker is NOT A MUSICAL.
Jason: (headdesk)

*******************

Gordon: This is Gordon Pepper, and we have a replacement announcer.
Jason: Say what?

(Brobot comes in)

Chico: The Brobot?
Jason: Where did you get this guy...the Big Brother set?
Gordon: We've had him for a while. Say hi, Brobot.
Brobot: Beep beep beeep....All Plinko Chips are worth $1.98.
Chico: ... Let me guess... Ralphs guts?
Brobot: Beep beep beep...Survivor's favorite contestant is Tootie.
Gordon: ...Ok, maybe this wasn't such a good idea.
Jason: Want me to take care of this?
Chico: Alright, you fix the Brobot, I'm going to start the show.
Jason: I was going to destroy it, not fix it.
Chico: .... destroy, fix... whatever...
Gordon: Do. Not. Touch. My. Brobot.
Chico: ... and I'm not going there.
Gordon: (Wheels Brobot out)

*******************

Chico: This is Chico Alexander. As we sit here getting ready to do the WLTI thing, our thoughts and prayers go out to the victims of Hurricane Sandy as they work to rebuild their lives. And as we think of each other, let's take this moment to be thankful that you are reading this, and thankful that we can share this heartwarming moment together...
Gordon: This is Gordon Pepper, and Hurricane Sandy just gave us all a blow job.
Jason: Big time.
Chico: ...Heartwarming moment over.

*******************

Gordon: This is Gordon Pepper, and as you have seen if you are a constant internet troller, like us, is that everyone jokes about moving to Canada after the results of the election, pending on whether their candidate wins or loses, right?
Chico: Yeah. That reminds me. *takes another aspirin*
Gordon: (Waves Democrat Flag) As you can see here, it's just Chico and I in the booth, but just to say that we are a benevolent group which spares no expense, we have, from Toronto, Mr. Jason Block.
Jason: Greetings from Toronto, eh!
Gordon: So just to warn Canada, Jason Block is going to pillage your game shows and make more Canadian money before he decides to come back down to the states.
Jason: Actually. I am hanging here till I hit Costa Rica or New Zealand. Better tax laws there.

*******************

Chico: You're reading WLTI. You give us 22 minutes, we'll give you a really cold air conditioned sound stage. And a hostess with a really REALLY bad idea...Dresswise.
Gordon: (brings in giant air fan)
Chico: BAD Gordon! No home game!
Gordon: ....what?

*******************

Chico: Finally, Gordon...

You are .... a Muppet. What do you think about teaming up with Cee Lo Green for the holidays?

Gordon: MAHNA MAHNA! (looks around for drumsticks)
Chico: Do dooo do do do...
Gordon: MAHNA MAHNA! (starts eating drum set)
Chico: Doo doo doo doo... Okay, that's enough Roleplay. When we come back, we deliver the goods... and the greeting cards. See you after the break!
Gordon: MAHNA MAHNA!!! (Starts tearing down the set)
Chico: HEEL!
Gordon: ...sowwy.

Based on an original format created by
TONY KORNHEISER
MICHAEL WILBON
Produced by
ESPN ORIGINAL ENTERTAINMENT

Executive producer
CHICO ALEXANDER

Co-executive producer
GORDON PEPPER

Developed, written, and hosted by
CHICO ALEXANDER
GORDON PEPPER

Featuring
QUISLA ALEXANDER
JASON BLOCK
LEE DiGEORGE
TRAVIS EBERLE
JOE MELLO
TRAVIS SCHARIO
AGENT JOSH W.
JIM WILLIAMS

The voice of “Brainvision News”
DOUG MORRIS

Stat-Boy
JASON WUTHRICH

Brainvision Animals courtesy
SPCA

Choppler provided by
TRAVIS SCHARIO

“Move Closer To Your World” written by
AL HAM

“Pimpin' All Over the World” written by
CHRIS 'LUDACRIS' BRIDGES
JAMAL JONES
DONALD SCANTLEBURY
courtesy Disturbing tha Peace

Talent wardrobe furnished by
COMPLETE ACCIDENT

FOR CLW83 NETWORK

Executive producer
CARL CHENIER

Co-executive producers
CHICO ALEXANDER
GORDON PEPPER

Producers
JASON BLOCK
JIM WILLIAMS

Special thanks
GAME SHOW CONGRESS
CARRIE GROSVENOR
SCOTT HOSTETLER
KEVIN PEREIRA
BRIAN SAPINSKI
JOSH YAWN

Founder, GSNN
JASON ELLIOTT

E-mail us!
wlti@gameshownewsnet.com

BOWLER CITY PRODUCTIONS
And
WORDS IN A CIRCLE
Co-production for GAME SHOW NEWSNET ORIGINALS