Episode 31.13 - Give and Take
Chico: This is Chico Alexander. As we prepare to
do our show, our thoughts and prayers go out to the families and friends of the
victims of the Sandy Hook Elementary massacre in Newtown, CT.
Gordon: Gordon Pepper here, and while we do this show with a heavy heart, we
hope that we can give you entertainment for a small escape from the current
events of Friday.
Chico: Indeed. We can't even begin to fathom the pain and duress that you are
going through at this trying time. The only thing we can possibly do is offer
the next 22 minutes of fun and entertainment as a diversion... so we'll do just
that. From somewhere in America... WLTI is on.
Chico: Indeed. And we'll start with a gift. Gordon I gotcha the Tom Baker box
Chico: Now I got something else too. You can keep your box set OR you can take
my... something. Such is the premise behind NBC's latest holiday tour de force
game, "Take It All"
Gordon: aka No Complaining from Let's Make a Deal.
Chico: Yes. But will it follow in the steps of "Deal or No Deal" and be
elevated? Or will it follow in the footsteps of last year's "Fear Factor" and be
Gordon: What about last year's Still Standing, which was completely forgotten
Chico: Still what? What Standing? Who's What Now?
Gordon: Like Still Standing, I'd like this game to fall down a hole, but please
Chico: Now if you ever played the game of White Elephant, you know how it works.
You get a gift, then someone gets a shot at taking another gift or taking your
gift. Continue until there are five players. Player with the lowest priced gift
in their possession gets booted. Now you can lock in your gift once during the
entire game. But as the game goes on, the prizes get more... shall we say...
fabulous...And the players get a little less numbered. We end with two. They
take their prizes (and a mystery dollar amount chosen beforehand) to the final
round, the Prize Fight.
Gordon: And this is where things get ugly.
Chico: IF you've seen Friend or Foe or Golden Balls, you know how this works.
You have two choices: Keep Mine, or Take It All. If both players choose Keep
Mine, they keep their prizes and the cash. If one player chooses Take It All,
they literally take EVERYTHING. If both players choose Take It All, both players
leave with NOTHING. IT'S THE PRISONER'S DILEMMA! Aren't you excited?
Gordon: AM I EXCITED?????
Chico: ARE YOU????
Chico: Thought not.
Gordon: It sucks just as bad on this show as it does on the other ones.
Chico: Yep. And it makes for the last 10 minutes to be the most awkward on
television. The first 50 minutes are good... but then it takes that hard left
into a-hole territory.
Gordon: The first 50 minutes are good?
Chico: Well, better than I thought it would be. Let's go into the bad first.
Because, hey, it's easy. First of all, the pacing is ridonkulously slow.
Gordon: This could have been a fast-paced 30 minute show.
Chico: It really could've. Make it quicker, get rid of those silly fluff pieces.
Don't hyperextend the Prize Fight.
Gordon: #2. You telegraphed the values of the prizes.
Chico: Please explain.
Gordon: You knew the weird prizes (boxing ring, rock climbing unit) would be
good, and nice prizes (mancave, Car) were going to be bad.
Chico: That Smart Car from night 1 threw me off. It was round 2. A Smart car was
picked first. Turned out to be the white elephant. Then there was Friday's show
with the robot. That was weird. It was also pretty cheap. But the mechanical
bull... you knew it was expensive. So it was basically one giant game of Most
Expensive. So there's one and two. Strike three... PRETTY PEOPLE PARTY!
Gordon: Granted, you didn't need people with intelligence to play the show, but
some non-stereotypes WOULD have been nice.
Chico: They're excited! They're happy! One's Santa! Another's got a BS story
that she played to the hilt in the Prize Fight perfectly!
Gordon: You are allowed to lie, but it would be nice to have other people
besides charity cases playing.
Chico: It's pretty much a weeklong pilot. Let's get TV friendly people, let's
get a TV friendly game. The result (and now we're moving into the good) is a
cleaner product than previous holiday offerings. Scott St. John is an expert in
Gordon: He is, and you can see the veteran showmanship here. The set looks nice
and everything looks clean and crisp.
Chico: It's not as clean as a Deal or No Deal or a 1 vs. 100, but it's light
years ahead of that crap that was on last year. Howie's hosting is on the mark.
He's a people person, and I like the touch of the on-stage announcer.
Gordon: Howie does a fantastic job hosting this show. It's easily one of his
best efforts. The announcer didn't do anything for me, but it didn't detract
from the show either. I thought the contestants should have been able to keep
what they won - bring a new wrinkle to the game. Let's say the last low amount
in a $5,000 board is $5,000 in CASH. Do you take it and leave knowing that
although you're out, you can't lose it?
Chico: That's actually a good idea. And it would tighten uyp the hour. Like "I'm
going to give one of you the opportunity to leave the game with your things, but
it's a one-time only offer" or something. I do think that the end game needs
something ELSE, though. Because, and this is a universal reaction, the Prize
Fight as it is right now... SUCKS.
Gordon: As we have been saying since forever, no one wants to see people lose
money - especially in a system where you're at the mercy of your opponent. If
your oppoonent says Take It All, you can't win, regardless of how you play. And
you have no defense against it.
TAKE IT ALL
NBC - 9p ET Weeknights
Chico: Yeah, you can screw over your opponent, but unless you like that sort of
thing or are comfortable going home with nothing, why would you? So let's grade
up. It's not the game show that Deal or No Deal was, but at the same time, it's
not Who's ... still can't remember that. Anyway, I'm gonna give it a D. The end
game really weighs the whole package down, cleanliness be damned.
Gordon: Even with all of the pickiness of the front game, it's not an awful
show, though it did nothing for me. What does it for me is the insipid end game,
which drains all of the fun out of the show and turns it into a train wreck. Not
even Howie can save this show from being a late entry into the worst shows of
2012 tournament. D.
Chico: By the way, December 31, CLW83.com :-) Tee hee.
Gordon: We could be seeing a winner though from the Facts of Life.
Chico: We could.
Chico: Lisa Whelchel. If you were to tell me that she would be literally a
stone's throw away from winning the million... I would've had you sectioned. But
that's what happens when you vote out the sure thing.
Chico: All of a sudden, the game's wide open.
Gordon: Well yes and no. It depends on who you are. Big Board please?
Survivor: Who Wins If
- Abi-Maria now an anti-vote
- Michael: Million dollar error
- Denise: Under the radar
- Malcolm: Physical threat
- Lisa: All-around
Gordon: The Subject: WHo Wins If.
Chico: I love it. First of all, let's name your final four. Along with Whelchel,
we have Michael Skupin, the last returning man standing... Dense Stapley, and
Gordon: In: Michael, Lisa, Malcolm and Denise. OUT: Abi-Maria, who could have
been the ultimate 3rd placed finisher.
Chico: She kept playing the idol story. The tribe finally called her on it. But
you know what, it could've worked for her if she didn't go so far with it. But
let's face it, there was about as much of a shot of her winning as there is of
Carson Daly winning a Toughman. So yeah, I get why she was voted out, but a
smarter player would've kept her in.
Gordon: I agree exactly. She had no shot, which is intriguing to keep her
around, That being said, she could have been an anti-vote, which does make her
Chico: Dangerous to who?
Gordon: To Malcolm and Denise, if she was the long Tangarang left. Hence they
needed to get rid of her. Michael and Lisa, to have any real attempt to win the
million, needed to keep Abi around. I think Michael may have made a million
Chico: But we don't know how she is. Her mind is literally a nebulous flood of
whatever. That she came up with the idol story to make it this far is a mystery.
Chico: So let's look at the other jury members. If we're going over who played
the better mental game, it goes to Skupin. If we're going for physical, it goes
to Malcolm. If we're going for the best of both worlds, it goes to Lisa. It's
Gordon: Not as close as you think. If Malcolm gets there - he wins.
Chico: So it would behoove the others to get rid of Malcolm, because he's a
threat. At the same time, don't sit on Denise, who could fly under the radar to
win the whole thing.
Gordon: I agree. Now Denise can win if she is there and Malcolm isn't.
Gordon: I think that's it. Michael and Lisa can't get rid of both of them, so
they are both fodder at this point.
Chico: Yep. If and only if, G. If and only if. For two of them, it's gonna be a
thrilling final. Meanwhile....
Chico: Upset special on The X Factor could make an even MORE thrilling final.
Gordon: Really? What upset?
Chico: Fifth Harmony, who sang "Impossible" in Spanglish... that could've turned
away potential voters, turned out to do the opposite and propel them into the
final to lose ... sorry, compete... against Tate Stevens and Carly Ringer
Gordon: So does it really matter which group got into the finals? Neither of
them have a shot.
Chico: ...True. And that's what Tate's showmanship and Carly's big voice did -
it made it a 2 horse race. Tate is a showman. And Carly does things with songs
that shouldn't be done, but strangely work. That's years of practice that the
show won't let us see. =p
Gordon: The fact of the matter is that we all expect a Tate / Sonenclaringer
Chico: And we're going to get one.
Gordon: And she is going to win. Like I called in September.
Chico: If anything, Fifth Harmony's presence may split the pop vote to help
Tate. But that's just theory. And there's one more X factor, pun. LA Reid has
announced that he's done with the show after next week. Will that affect Tate's
performance or voting?
Gordon: Nope. Complete non-story. Reid wasn't important enough.
Chico: I'm... going to agree, but for a different reason. This was one of those
little-reported things that only you and I in industry would follow. Imagine
you're a normal person watching X Factor. Do you know or care who is leaving?
Gordon: No. Zero interest.
Chico: All you care about is if your guy is going to have enough votes (and how
many times you can use your Verizon happy box to help him)... that's it. We'll
revisit this match up in the second half of the show, but right now... Let's get
a little bit of jolly on.
Chico: *puts on Santa hat* I'm the dog.
Chico: *gives Gordon Grinch hat*
Chico: And this week was a dog on TPIR as we prepare to welcome Christmas to 33.
Some stats for you... 8-20-2 this week. And a double overbid.
Gordon: That's not a white Christmas Folks. More like a Red one (red as in in
Chico: It's MXPX, Christmas Night of the Living Dead. Anyway, first up, a pirate
Gordon: I sense ninjas
Chico: With a trip to Denver, an HDTV with home theate and the Pirates of the
Caribbean box set, and a sailboat. Your bid, sir.
Gordon: $18,069 Yuck.
Chico: Yeah, I'd yuck that too.
Chico: It was $27,815. Hans bid...$42,000.
Gordon: ouch (BUZZ)
Chico: Next, for winter, we have coats, snowboards, and a Mazda 6i Sport. Less
Gordon: Less yuck? What am I going to wo with a Mazda in the city? Yuck. $24,269
Chico: Actual price of that $25,761. So not bad, G. Jerry bids $38,500 on a
Mazda. Japanese cars aren't that expensive.
Gordon: Well, a Lexus, maybe.
Chico: Maybe. So both of these players are looking at...
Chico: So now we look to NEXT week, which begins the annual ritual of Pricemas
on Tuesday. And this year, they're really doing it up. Santa hats... reindeer
antlers... set decor... and goofy looking sweaters. And your boy Rob will be
back as well. I think he's a keeper.
Gordon: Rob is a keeper. What about the Beekman Boys?
Chico: They're the most unlikely of keepers.
Chico: They go from worst to first at the most crucial time. The Racers had to
go to the City's oldest pizzeria and deliver the goods... in a Mazda.
Gordon: Oh you funny. You funny boy.
Chico: :-) Kidding, they did it on foot. You know the city's oldest pizzeria, G?
Gordon: I do, and it's in Brooklyn
Chico: Lombardi's. Delivering to hipsters. :-) They also have to escape from a
straitjacket in Coney Island, then a moment that puts not just the Race in
perspective, but the production of THIS PARTICULAR SEASON. And I thought that
the way they went about it was pretty sly.
Gordon: It was very sly.
Chico: Now think back to every episode this season, and in particular pay
attention to the Happy Local. The last challenge took place at the United
Nations (that's what the symbol of the tag means, folks).
Chico: Once there, a team member had to remember the words for hello and goodbye
that the Local used. Now they've NEVER did that in the 20 seasons prior, so a
wise fan of the show (Hi Justin) would pick up sometihng. Or just dismiss it.
But those formed the basis of the final How Well Do You Remember The Race?
challenge. They had to remember how to say hello and goodbye in the languages of
the countries they were in. Some of them (Spanish, French, Chinese, Dutch) were
straight forward, while others (Bangladeshi, Turkish, and Indonesian) ... not so
much. The Beekmans remembered their hellos and goodbyes.
Gordon: Well not really - took them over 2 and a half hours. Just like the rest
of the race, the other teams were worse.
Chico: Yup. The first time the Finale of the Race ran into the night. So they
all meet at Gotham Hall, we have the parade of losers... and the first people to
arrive... THE BEEKMANS! So congrats to Josh Klimer-Purcell & Brent Ridge who get
the million and...
Chico: ... A little of that.
Gordon: Well done, gang. Now what about a little 5 and a half minutes of this?
Chico: You mean this Replay thing? I push the button and the time starts, that
sort of thing?
Gordon: Yes sir. Hit the button
Chico: (presses button)
Gordon: And we start...now!
Chico: Let's go to the Voice. We're down to three. Blake has two: Cassadee
Pope, Terry McDermott, and Nicholas David.
Chico: I'm guessing Blake wins this one, but I'm guessing even more that Terry
will be the guy to do it.
Gordon: Blake will win it and he'll win it through Terry.
Chico: But what do the other two have to do to beat him?
Gordon: The other 2 have to sing very well and hope for a trainwreck through
Chico: Yeah, that won't happen. Next up, who wants some Jeopardy!?
Chico: Alistair Bell, from New England by way of OLD England, is your champ
going into Monday's show. He'll have $56,800 on the Monday show, and he gets it
with this category: States' Highest Points. The clue...
This state's highest peak is 13,796 feet high & only about 15 miles from the
Chico: Gordon, the correct response please.
Gordon: What is Hawaii?
Chico: And my joke response... What is Denver after a visit to the Rickey
Williams Emporium? It's LEGAL, kids!
Gordon: Or what is NHL headquarters after they move to Hawaii folowing a
Chico: Yeah, they need an escape. Let's have something sweet here. Stephan
Willemin faces belly-dancing pastry chef Neely Cohen. Not playing favorites,
but... we like belly dancers. :-) The final test in cakes features cocoa beans
and alfalfa sprouts with the theme being STARS.
Gordon: I'd be seeing stars after eating that
Chico: Stephane has a revised Tiramisu with roasted cocoa beans.
Gordon: I heart Tiramisu
Chico: Neely had a basbousa with coco beans & coconut with a cocoa nib tuile.
A basbousa is a traditional Egyptian almond cake.
Gordon: I also heart basbousa.
Chico: Ron also likes basbousa, Neely wins the money. Rebecca trades $6560 for a
shot at the Big Deal of the Day on LMAD Thursday. Ends up with the big one under
#3. She trades a trip to Jamaica for a trip to Brazil and a 2013 Chevrolet
Spark! Total value: $23,243!
Gordon: Nice. Millionaire goes to Broadway this week.
Chico: Yep. We get a good $100,000 question out of it.
Gordon: Let's see it.
The tallest skyscraper in the world, the Burj Khalifa in Dubai, stands 2,723
feet tall, the equivalent of how many what?
A: 1.5 Eiffel Towers
B: 5 Empire State Buildings
C: 4.5 Space Needles
D: 7 Statues of Liberty
E. 1500 Wiz Khalifas.
Gordon: But no, It's C.
Chico: It is C. David McGill goes for it on D. He leaves with 25,000. So it's
not bad. Brooke Williamson sweeps Top Chef this week. She won Quickfire AND
Elimination. Eliza Gavin, having done nothing even remotely remarkable since
show #1... SHE GONE.
Gordon: And loses the Last Chance Kitchen. See ya.
Chico: And finally, in the chef trifecta.. we have the Next Iron Chef. You're
going to love this, G. Amanda Freitag is still around. She won the Chairman's
Challenge in Las Vegas.
Chico: Boo. This was at the MGM Grand, where the ill-fated Iron Chef USA pilots
were taped. It's also an ill-fate for Jehangir Mehta, he's as much of an Iron
Chef as Todd English is.
Gordon: That is... he isn't.
Chico: And that is... a Replay. STOP THE CLOCK!
Gordon: (Hits button) Weeeeee
Chico: Okay, good Replay.
Gordon: Very good. The hammies are happy.
Chico: They are. And hey, even Eve's getting into the holiday spirit.
zGordon: Um...no, she's cranky. She has a cold.
Chico: Which would explain the red nose.
Gordon: Does it glow?
Chico: Yes.. We should see the vet about this.
Gordon: While you call the vet, roll that beautiful brain footage
Live, local, and latebreaking... From the four corners of the globe to
your frontal lobe, this is WLTI Brainvision News, and now here's Gordon Pepper,
Chico Alexander, and the award-winning Brainvision News Team)
Chico: Thanks, Doug. Doug Morris, ladies, and gentlemen. First up, let's get to
the business at hand. *grabs Winter Classic sticks*
Gordon: (Grabs a Blowtorch)
Chico: Bring it on kids.
Gordon: (Creates a picket sign). Yours.
First up, a welcome change for the GSN diehards. Black and White Overnight is
back. And an unwelcome change - supposedly, according to GSN's schedule, Press
Your Luck is being repeated after only 10 weeks of the first episodes.
Chico: They did lease only 50. Why? Who knows. Again, they're not making 2002
money. And the Black and White Overnight is only for two weeks and it's only
I've Got A Secret and What's My Line.
Gordon: They aren't and that should be a concern.
Meanwhile the CW is making mad cash and has greenlit two projects. The first is
Perfect Score, which combined the dating aspect of whatever eHarmony does with
the money aspect of Deal or No Deal.
Chico: See, what happens is that the contestants take a personality quiz. And
that quiz is matched with the central figures, and the closest you are to "The
Perfect Score", the more money you and your date win. Strangely, I'm looking
forward to this. It's created by Scott St. John. The other project is "The
Hunt", which is essentially Survivor meets The Hunger Games. It's an intense
wilderness competition taking place over one month, as 12 teams of two are
provided no food, water, or shelter, but must compete in a game where they'll
rely on their physicality, survival skills, and hunting skills to endure their
conditions, capture one another, and ultimately win a huge cash prize.
Gordon: It's the Survival Games Show.
Chico: Now even with the events of this past week aside... AM I THE ONLY ONE WHO
SEES SOMETHING INCREDIBLY WRONG WITH THIS?
Gordon: I'm just waiting for each one to be given electronic necklaces and a
weapon in the bag.
Chico: I'm waiting for the inevitable lawsuit.
Gordon: It's just not a good idea right now in this environment. It really
isn't. If you remember the movie T.A.G. The Assassination Game, I hate to say
this, but I'm not sure that us as a sociaety is ready to handle - or should be
ready to handle - entertainment like this.
Chico: I'm in agreement with the boy. And again, aside from the events of the
last week, it's just in bad taste. But then again, this is the CW we're talking
Gordon: Well to be fair here, the programs are laid out much sooner than current
Gordon: So it's not the CW's fault - and the hyped up fan boys will blame them
when they shouldn't be blamed.
Chico: But if you remember ABC's case with The Runner, they decided to shelve it
in the dawn of the War on Terror.
Gordon: It wouldnt surprise me if based on the weekend, the CW does the same.
How about a datebook?
It's FINALS week - The Voice, X-Factor, et al.
Chico: And the winners? They'll be forgotten I think the only winner of a
contest like that who ever gets played on the radio is Phillip Phillips. That
"Home" song is catchy.
Gordon: How's Melanie Amaro doing?
Chico: Melanie Who?
Gordon: You'd know who she is if you got fully loaded.
Chico: I did get Fully Loaded this week, and I came up with two cool apps.
If you have iOS, then you have new versions of Wheel of Fortune and You Don't
Chico: You Don't Know Jack is available at the hard-to-resist price of FREE. It
plays like the console and FB versinos.
Gordon: And it's pure awesome.
Chico: It is. And you can play with your FB peoples over Facebook Connect. And
if you have $3 laying around, you can pick up Wheel of Fortune. Again, plays
like console. Well worth the $3 if you ask me. You also have a story mode that
takes you through 30 years of Wheel history.
Chico: That should be enough to make you get a smartphone, G. Catch up with the
rest of us. Or at least with these morons...
Gordon: (wheels in Smartboard)
Are YOU Smarter than...Ingeborg Bivins, the latest to crash and burn on the
first Millionaire question.
Chico: What's the question?
Gordon: The question that landed Ingeborg here...
What types of movies does the TV network TMC air back-to-back as part of its
weekly "Splatterday on Saturdays"?
A: Spaghetti westerns
B: Chick flicks
C: Horror films
D: Sports documentaries
Chico: You love these... C. Horror films.
Gordon: I do. Ingleborg went with...Westerns. Though theoretically, they could
be, if they were Sam Peckinpah Westerns
Gordon: But there's more.
Chico: Hoo boy
Are YOU Smarter than...Lil' Wayne, who had to cough up over 7.7 million dollars
in unpaid taxes and penalties to the IRS.
Gordon: Yeah. Pay your taxes.
Chico: And get your Haterade
Gordon: I have some - with a pink slip attached to it.
If you're working on the Jeff Probst show...start looking for work. The
ratings-troubled show just axed a whole bunch of people, and with his show
obtaining some of the lowest ratings in syndication land, it's now only a matter
Chico: That's usually not a good sign.
Gordon: No. I think the employees need to go on vacation
Chico: Let's go to the UK, where we have good news and bad news.
Gordon: ok sir
The bad news: "The X Factor" ends with their worst performance in
The good news: Simon Cowell is coming back to Britain's Got Talent next season
AND there's a twist.
Chico: Call it a finder's fee.
The judges audition tour starts in January while the show has added an
initiative this year called “Star Scouts.” Members of the public will be able to
recommend talent and if their act ultimately wins the series, they’ll receive a
£10,000 (US$16,170) prize.
Chico: Now wouldn't you want to see THIS on AGT?
Gordon: We have that service already. It's called ho-search.
Chico: I see what you did there. (plays Luda)
In this week's Media Ho report, RuPaul gets some Happy Endings, Meredith Vieira
goes back to General hospital, Betty White returns to off their rockers...Bo
Bice does Broadway, Sioban Magnus does 90's Revival Bands, Brooke Burke-Chavet
gets a clean bill of health...
Jeff Probst talks about babysitting, Dave Hester sues Storage Wars, and Sean
Lowe says that he fell for multiplle Bachelorettes. Hey, I did have to put in
the mandatory 'Piss Chico off Bachelor' time.
Chico: Sure you did.
Gordon: But none of them are the Media Hoes of the week.
Chico: Who've you got?
Gordon: Your hoes are Anna Faris and Chris Pratt, who parodied The
Bachelor...while they were on Top Chef. You can see it right here.
Chico: Which if you look at the video is pretty funny in a wrong way. :-)
Gordon: Or wrong in a funny way. And those...are your hoes.
Chico: And that's Brainvision. Switching it off... *apps off* Still to come, we
predict what should and will happen, but what's first, G?
Gordon: But first up, we play our own version of Nostradamus, You're reading
WLTI. You give us 22 minutes and we'll give you 22 people who's names we'll hear
as people to replace L.A. Reid that we'll be wondering if the producers drank
too much egg nog when they were thinking about this.
Chico: *points to Gordon*
Gordon: Hey, you WANT me as your judge.
Chico: Judge yes.. Coach NO.
Gordon: ...the jacket sequins I got from Jujubee are too distracting?
(Brainvision is presented by the LA Reid Complex... A bunch of washed-up
musicians from the 80s and 90s wait by a phone, talk about useless stuff, pine
for Jewel Staite, and wait for a call from Simon Cowell about coaching on season
3 of The X Factor)
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