Chico: I'm Chico Alexander, and I'm getting you in the holiday spirit with... FAMILY DRAMA! (clips of Paige Thomas, Jonathan Penner, and Vino Alan getting voted out and.... because it's me, Melissa Rycroft winning DWTS)
Gordon: I'm glad that ain't my family
Chico: ... yup. And the thing of it is... NO ONE SAW ANY OF THOSE COMING... Except for the Dancing. Stevie Wonder could've seen Melissa Rycroft winning that one. We'll go into details on all of them, because from Somewhere in America... WLTI... is... ON!
Gordon: YAY! Gordon Pepper here, along with Chico and a week's worth of recapping to do. We start our winner's month with...Melissa Rycroft



Chico: Melissa Rycroft & Tony Dovolani finally win one over Shawn Johnson & Derek Hough and Kelly Monaco & Val Chmerkovskiy. It was really close, but Melissa had the better scores in two of the three rounds.
Chico: It all came down to the audience vote.
Gordon: As always. So why did you think she won it?
Chico: If I'm being honest?
Gordon: No, I want you to lie to our whole fan base
Chico: Heh. Because she wasn't the consistent threat that most of the dancers were. She was an also-ran. She won... because of the audience vote. This season proved more than anything that this show is a popularity contest.
Gordon: It was more of a sympathy vote, you'd say?
Chico: No, a sympathy vote would've put KELLY in the winner's circle. This was a popularity vote, and it just served to the dwindling audience of the show.
Gordon: I think a little from column A and a little from column B She did deserve it, but also it's like they improved while the winners didn't really do such. Granted, as a champion, you can only improve so much, and the storyline of her not winning didn't hurt her.
Chico: Yeah. So we all saw Melissa won... We know how... and now that we do.. can we just forget this season ever happened?
Gordon: I'll second that.
Chico: Meanwhile, X Factor is getting steadily more exciting.



Chico: Paige Thomas was eliminated off the bat.
Gordon: This one you could have seen coming.
Chico: She was consistently in the bottom and was in danger of being a one-trick pony. So yeah, I can't fault them for that. Then there's the case of Vino Alan's departure. I have the chart.
Gordon: Let's see if you have learned something throught these years. Present, sir.
Chico: First three... easy. The favorites. Carly Rose Sonenclar, Tate Stevens, and Emblem3. Then comes the bottom four: Fifth Harmony, CeCe Frey, Diamond White, and Vino Alan. After Paige was eliminate, the bottom two were Vino Alan and Diamond White. They head to a singoff. Vino sang "Trouble" by Ray LaMontaigne, while Diamond sang "I Was Here" by Beyonce.
Gordon: Now how did Vino get into the bottom?
Chico: Vino earned his bottom stature the night prior when he changed songs and then performed a half-assed version of "You've Lost That Lovin' Feelin'"
Gordon: I certainly lost that loving feeling
Chico: I wasn't feeling any love... I think it was gas.
Gordon: (fart)
Chico: Smelly.
Gordon: It was painful
Chico: It was.
Gordon: So off we go to the judges. I actually thought this was less of a who sang better and more of a who's more marketable vote.
Chico: And Diamond won that one, 3-1. Because let's face it... Vino may sound like a soul star, but he looks like... I don't know what he looks like. Probably a Star Trek reject.
Gordon: Well again, the problem was that he was singing a style that doesn't fit his voice or his image.
Chico: Well, more his image than his voice. He could be more of the Ray LaMontaigne type if he presented himself as such to start.
Gordon: But he didn't. He was a poor man's Eminem. And now he's just a poor man.
Chico: Be kind, G
Gordon: Me saying that the song didn't sound like a Hippopotamous in heat was being kind.
Chico: Yeowch. Jonathan Penner... is also a poor man this first week of December.


INJURY REPORT

Chico: Now Abi-Maria was due to be eliminated this week, but something weird happened. I mean SERIOUSLY weird. She started playing the game.
Gordon: Just a little bit late. All this did was move her up one spot in the food chain. What she really needed to do was to get into an alliance.
Chico: It all started at the Reward Auction, where Probst offered an advantage ("$500!") Abi pays $500 for an advantage in this round. The advantage being that she would be advanced to the final round in the Immunity Challenge. That gave her rest. That gave her strength. That gave her energy... and ultimately, that gave her the Immunity Idol. The rest of the tribe had no real plan B, so they just went for someone who had overstayed his welcome, Penner.
Gordon: Yeah well good for Abi-Maria. The problem here is that she needed to join the group. She's still an outsider and the pecking order is still intact
Chico: Yep. She's going home next, barring another immunity miracle. Then and only then, Carter's going home.
Gordon: That sounds fairly accurate.
Chico: Also accurate.... no one is winning $2 million from The Amazing Race



Gordon: Ryan and Abby. I had such hopes for them. Until they turned into morons
Chico: Ryan & Abbie went from catbird seat... to cat food. And it's all part of a DOUBLE U-TURN plot. Might I elaborate?
Gordon: Yes please
Chico: Okay, so the Racers are running all over Holland, home of many things, like Lego, Lingo, and... windmills. The plan was to U-turn Ryan & Abbie. And then the team that U-turns them would themselves get U-turned. This was hatched between Trey & Lexi and the Ja(y)meses. So the Ja(y)meses U-turn Ryan & Abbie, while Trey & Lexi U-turn them. It's a brilliant plan, make it look like an accident or something. And... unlike most plans hatched on the Race, this one actually worked. Meanwhile, a Fast Forward lunch of herring while under the sea in an aquabus give Natalie & Nadiya first place and $5000 each!
Gordon: Sweeeeeet
Chico: Good choice of words, Gordon. Because Food Network has created YET ANOTHER FOOD COMPETITION. This one elevates food as crazy art. Here's how it works in ... THE SUGAR DOME. Teams of three: a cake artist, a sugar artist, and an animatronics expert design a sugary masterpiece that centers around a theme.
Gordon: DUN DUN DUNNNNNN
Chico: So it's basically one of the many many MANY Food Network Challenge metaseries given series form. Three teams enter David Bull's Sugar Dome, one will leave with $15,000. This week, the theme was... Dragons.
Gordon: We start with the good. it does a VERY good job on the demystification of the sugar caricatures - and with the dragons, which did look pretty cool.
Chico: Agreed. And everything comes together to tell a seamless story... if the teams do it right. So we have skill and the demystification of said skill, which works. Then there's David Bull, who takes this series to an almost comical level of seriousness. Remind you of anything?
Gordon: You mean Sweet Genius? Or Chopped? Or any other Food Network show?
Chico: Yeah. Added that he brings British lugubriousness to the hosting role.
Gordon: As much as I like him - and I do like him - There's 2 problems here. #1. It's all the same thing with a sugar maker. #2. If you're a standard foodie without cooking knowledge, this is going to have as much interest as a dragon singing Pagliacci.
Chico: Dragons are cool... Pagliacci's cool...Together? Not so much. Oh, did we mention that you are under a time limit? I don't know how long, but it's at least five hours.

	SUGAR DOME Food - 8p ET Sunday
	GORDON	CHICO	AVERAGE-O-MATIC
	C+	C+	C+

Gordon: No. This show is still good, but this is going to attract more of a serious cooking addict, and we review for the casual game show fan. Hence...C+
Chico: Yeah, this is what you call a niche program. It has no real pulling power for anyone outside of this niche, so in that, a C+ is about right. Now for other niche programs and not so niche programs, we have THE FASTEST (mumbles) MINUTES IN GAME SHOWS! We call it the Replay! (speaks into phone) five and a half minutes on the timer, please.

(FIVE MINUTES 30 AND COUNTING)

Gordon: And....go!
Chico: A couple of two day champions after Jake Ayres falls on Monday. Lucas Peterson lasts two days, ends up leaving with $34,900. Jason Shore, the man who beats him, will return Monday. And the Friday show that gives him three days on the show is a heads-up affair. Here's the Final. 20th Century American Writers.

A publisher's note on one of his books called him "the terror of typesetters" & "an enigma to book reviewers".

Chico: This is really easy if you think about it and never stop thinking about it
Gordon: (Puts on Santa Claus Outfit) Who is E.E. Cummings
Chico: (hands over Grinch hat)
Gordon: (Puts on Grinch Hat) Who is Edward Scissorhands?
Chico: ... and the hat is dead.
Gordon: As well as the typesetter.
Chico: Heh. Jason returns Monday with a total of $67,800! TPIR takes the week off... Hip Hop Squares takes the week on. It's the week of the G, in which you could go to Facebook and enter for a chance to win $1000. All you had to do was identify who was in the Secret Squ... eerr, G-Spot.
Gordon: HOT
Chico: This week's winners: Mike the musician, Kristin the Zumba teacher, Peter the sports editor of the Garden State Journal, and Christian Carrion, who's a good friend of ours. (puts Christian's picture on the wall of fame)
Gordon: Nice job.
Chico: Indeed. Meanwhile, on Millionaire, we have a Quarter...



Chico: Shannon Dingle jumps $100,000 and faces this for $250,000.

The recovery of a 2008 art heist was dubbed "Operation Waistcoat" in a nod to the stolen painting "Boy in a Red Waistcoat," by which artist?
A: Paul Cezanne
B: Henri Matisse
C: Pablo Picasso
D: Pierre-Auguste Renoir

Gordon: I think that's Cezanne
Chico: You think correctly. Shannon leaves with $73,600 after a bailout. In the quickies, Chad Michaels wins RuPaul's All Stars Drag Race Stan Frazier of Team USA wins Chef Race: UK vs. US. Eliminated on "The Voice": Cody Belew and Dez Duron. And in the Play of the Week, Collie Blank from Miramar, FL wins $15,000 cash money and a shot at more in the Bonus. Person, her choices are PHF I.

E _ P E R T / I N / T H E / F I E L _

Gordon: I think Sally Field would be insulted. Or turned on.
Chico: You think so? Collie is happy to be an EXPERT IN THE FIELD if it'll get her behind the wheel of a 2013 AUDI A4 with $5000 in the glove box. That's a total of $54,870. And that's an MVP if ever I saw one.



Chico: ... and that's gonna do it for the clock (alarm sounds)... thanks, Siri. And now we go to the expert in the field of news powering, ... Eve the Cat.
Gordon: She's growling.
Chico: Yep. And because of that, the hams are running in their wheels. It's perfect. Perfectly twisted, but perfect.
Gordon: Good job, Eve. Now roll that beautiful Brain Footage

(Doug: Live, local, and latebreaking... From the four corners of the globe to your frontal lobe, this is WLTI Brainvision News, and now here's Gordon Pepper, Chico Alexander, and the award-winning Brainvision News Team)

Chico: Thanks! Mr. Doug Morris, ladies and gentlemen. First of all, a BIG BUSINESS ITEM. I'm gonna need all my hockey gear
Gordon: (Gives Chico a Carolina Hurricanes jersey)
Chico: ...that's it?
Gordon: Quisla sold the rest of it because...well, you know...
Chico: ... I'll take it. Anyway, you remember that for the last five or 10 years or so, GSN has operated as a joint venture between Sony Pictures TV and DirecTV.
Gordon: Yes

Well, DirecTV has sold what amounts to controlling interest BACK to Sony.

Chico: It's basically putting GSN back to where it was before it was GSN. It could be a good OR a bad thing.
Gordon: That's not a good thing
Chico: We could see more of the Sony library without having to lease it. On the other hand, it could mean a drought of product. I mean, we're already seeing Beat the chefs in burnoff, and TNG in primetime is not doing anyone any favors.
Gordon: What it means is that DirecTV has no more faith in GSN, and you're losing programming. That's NEVER a good thing.

And not a good thing in the Datebook, because there's no new series, but lots of penultimate episodes as we wrap everything up before X-Mas.

Chico: There is one thing on the Datebook, while we're in the subject of holiday burnoff...

Viral Video Showdown will get two episodes on Wednesday morning at 2:30 and 4:30. After that... WHO KNOWS.

Chico: And who cares.
Gordon: Unfortunately, we called it.
Chico: We did. And now we're going to call something else - that Marc Summers is gonna be okay. Let's get loaded.

Marc Summers sat down with the ladies of "The View" to talk about his accident. You can view the interview here...

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=DyY5Gwq1TW8&feature=youtube_gdata

Gordon: That's great news - and a smart move by Marc.
Chico: We do want to warn you that the YouTube video does contain graphic images. All in all, it is REALLY good to see Marc back on his feet. He is a LEGEND in our field, and it is NOT his time yet. If you want to tweet him your well wishes, he is at @ibatvmc
Gordon: That would be a smart thing. I have a really dumb thing right here.
Chico: You always have a really dumb thing.

Are YOU Smarter than...Angus TG Jones, who decided it would be fun to call Two and a Half Men, the show he was starring in, 'Filth'. Rumor has it that he's not going to be invited back next season.

Gordon: Now here's a question. What game show was Angus on as a prize?
Chico: I don't know... Let's Make a Deal?
Gordon: No.
Chico: The Price Is Right?
Gordon: No. You could have won a trip to the Set of 2 and a half Men...as a prize on Big Brother. And yes, Angus made a cameo on the snow. But we're not done yet (wheels in another smart board)
Chico: Hoo boy

Are YOU Smarter than....Lindsay Lohan. Yes, again. This time, she gets arrested in NYC for punching someone in a nightclub and this one could be a probation breaker.

Gordon: She'll be meeting a lot of people
Chico: you think?
Gordon: and now for the Haterade.
Chico: Who've you got this week?

We get into a nasty judging spat between ex American Idol judge Steven Tyler and soon to be American Idol judge Nicki Minaj that results in Nicki calling Steven a racist and him apologizing for his comments.

Gordon: And now for something sure to get some post-Thanksgiving Heartburn



Food Network Challenge....is gone.

Chico: Which would probably explain Sugar Dome's appearance.
Gordon: For now. I'm sad. Let's go somewhere that will make me happy
Chico: How about Australia? Not only is it warm, the women are hot.
Gordon: Put another shrimp on the boobie...er Barbie

Ricky Martin is sitting in a rotating chair as he joins the Voice Australia as a host.

Gordon: Very nice.
Chico: Livin' la Vida red chair
Gordon: Livin La Vida Ho-ca
Chico: I see what you did there. (plays "Livin' La Vida Loca")

In this week's Media Ho-ca report, Nick Lachey will host The Winner Is, Bear Grylls hosts Get Out Alive, Donald Trump co-hosts Extra...

Chico: yooge

Nick Cannon signs a deal with NBC, Carrie Underwood will star in a remake of The Sound of Music, and Jef Holmes has ALREADY been spotted going out with a new girl. Isn't that great?

Chico: Good for him. Because Emily Maynard is totes cray-cray.
Gordon: But none of them are the ho of the week.
Chico: who have you this week?
Gordon: Your ho is Brandi Cochran, who just got paid to the tune of $777,000 after a court ruled in her favor over a unfair discrimination firing lawsuit from the producers of The Price is Right - AND another $7.7 million is coming in punitive damages
Chico: As we said last week, the equivalent of spinning the Showdown wheel, getting a dollar twice, and then taking both showcases.
Gordon: She's a winner. And those...are your hoes.
Chico: And that's Branvision. Let's shut'em down. *hits app*...Still to come, we're going shopping for extra game show swag. But what do we have first?
Gordon: First up, we need a reality check. You're reading WLTi. You give us 22 minutes and we'll give you 22 zombies with better singing voices than what we got this week.
Chico: And to prove it, here's Augustus singing "Baby" by Justin Bieber.
Augustus: .... "BRAAAAAAAAINS! BRAAAAAAAINS! BRAAAAAAAINS!"
Chico: ... a little pitchy, dawg
Gordon: Still better than Vito.

(BrainVision has been brought to you by the 12 Holiday Whammies of 2012. Complete with New Year's Baby, The Bottle Popper, Whammy on a Sled, Whammy hitting the X-Mas Tree, the Whammy turkey and More!)

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