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Episode 31.10 - The Smirkiest
Smirk That Ever Smirked
Gordon: This is Gordon Pepper, and we hope that
you had a good Thanksgiving. Chico: Chico Alexander here. I did, thanks for asking. And we hope that the rest
of your holiday weekend went swimmingly as well. Jason: Same here. Chico: We'll get to that and a whole other mess of... stuff.... Because from
Somewhere in America... WLTI... is... ON! Gordon: Yay! Gordon, Chico and special guest Jason Block here. Chico: We've got a lot of stuff to cover (and we do mean a LOT), but first...
let's talk turkey, and let's talk tourney. Colby Burnett... the smirkiest smirk
that ever smirked. Said he was going to Roger
Craig his game. There was nothing sabermetric about it until ... the last gasp
of Double Jeopardy!, where a late round rally turned a $100,000 game of chicken
into a $100,000 guarantee for Colby. Let's set the scene for you here. Going
into the final match, Kate Wilson had $3000, Colby had $10,600, and Michael
Farabaugh had $10,000.So it's more or less a $100,000 game of chicken at this
point IF Colby and Michael deadlock. Michael was leading for the better part of
the game, then after DD#2 in Double Jeopardy!, Colby went on a rally to put him
ahead $20,600 to Michael's $8600. Kate had $5000, but for all intents and
purposes, she's out of it. Let's look at that score for a moment, $8600. Double
it, it's $17,200, giving Michael a two-day take of $27,200. Still $4000 short of
Colby's two-day total if he bets nothing. Jason: So it's all a matter of the question. Chico: It's not EVEN a matter of the question. If I were Colby, I bet nothing!
I'm already a winner. But because I'm Colby, I bet $1929. Still can't figure
that one out. Jason: Because Colby was not a SPECTACULAR player. He did enough to win. Chico: No he wasn't. He's one of those people who knows a lot about the game,
but not enough to play it by the book. He's lucky he was in a tournament,
because I couldn't possibly see him going for as long as, say, a Paul Nelson
would (getting there, by the way). Jason: Paul Nelson was 10X worse BTW. Gordon: I have to agree with...both of you. I think Colby played on excellent
tournament - but part of that reason was because he DIDN'T play it by the book. Chico: Please explain. Gordon: Colby had an aggressive bet on that second Daily Double, and then we
went on a game clinching second half run. Good champions know how to close. Jason: Yes but up until then, he was scattershot. Chico: Michael played the second Daily Double. But yes on the closer. Gordon: Was it how you'd want to see it end? Probably not. It's much more
exciting to be conservative than let the last Final Jeopardy clue be academic.
It's almost like the offensive team up by 3 in football and killing the clock by
getting the first down rather than kick the ball away. Good teams don't give
their opponents a shot. Jason: I don't disagree. Chico: Me neither. Onto the Final. US Constitutional.
Found in Article 3, Section 3 & requiring the testimony of 2 witnesses to
prove, it's the only crime defined in the Constitution.
Chico: Jason? Jason: What is TREASON. Chico: Gordon? Gordon: What is the Treason cause by the NHL board of directors? Chico: Again... screw you Gary Bettman. Gordon: You want to see NHL games in 2012? Not happening. Jason: Nope Chico: But Colby Burnett in 2013 is happening. February 2013, to be exact. He
has $100,000 and will return to play for $250,000. Where do you put his chances? Jason: ZERO. Out before the semi-finals. Chico: G? Gordon: I'll say survives Week #1. Doesn't get to the finals. Chico: I.... agree... with..... Gordon. Particularly if he plays against Paul
Nelson, who has literally backed into every win he's gotten this week. But the
clock struck midnight on Friday with this clue. Biographies About Authors is the
Chapters in a biography on this author include "Declaring His Genius" & "A Late
Victorian Love Affair".
Chico: .... Gordon, I think you're first now. Gordon: Who is Reinhold Schünzel? Jason: Who? Gordon: He wrote the story / movie / musical Victor/Victoria Chico: I see what you did there. Jason: Very good. Chico: Jason, the RIGHT answer? Jason: One of my favorite quotes from this man... "I can resist
everything...except temptation." Oscar Wilde. Chico: Also said by Jason Block when pulling into New York Harbor after the
Black Friday booze cruise. Jason: Been there ;-) Chico: "I have nothing to declare but my genius." Gordon: In terms of Nelson, I actually liked his run. He forced you to beat him
instead of him beating himself. Chico: But it kinda cheapens the game if you do it EVERY SINGLE TIME. Gordon: ...why? I'm in essence saying, ok you want to be the champ? Beat me for
it. I'm not going to allow myself to lose by getting Final Jeopardy wrong. YOU
have to get it right. It's a great strategy and one I'm surprised isn't used
more often. If I'm up and I don't know the FJ category, I'm not going to blow all
my money. You have to answer it. Chico: But it doesn't work all the time. Gordon: It doesn't. It's risky, but it does work. Chico: The only way to be sure of a win: lead into the final, then get final
right. He had ZERO control of his game. ZERO. Gordon: Right - but - it's also forcing you to get it right. If you don't know
the answer, I win. Chico: And if you do... you lose. That's just stupid. Gordon: But it's better than if I don't know the answer, I lose. Chico: He knew how to bet, but he didn't know how to play. He was playing to not
lose. Gordon: I disagree. Sometimes, that's how you play. If I have 10,000 and you
have 9,000 and the FJ is ancient Russian agricultural techniques, I'm betting
999. Chico: Now you're just being obtuse. Gordon: It's the same idea. Chico: And again, knew how to bet, didn't know how to play. If he knew how to
play, he wouldn't have been beaten by his own game on Friday. Just saying. Gordon: I'm sorry - how much did he win? Chico: Five days, $54,000. Gordon: I'd say he knew how to play AND win. Chico: Still think he's more lucky than good. Gordon: Here's the stratagem - You're in first place - do you go for the answer
knowing if you get it right you win and if you get it wrong, you lose? Or do you
pass the question hoping my opponent gets it wrong? Chico: If I know the answer, I'm going for it. Gordon: Well if you know the answer, but you won't know it unless you see the
question. Chico: The simple fact of it is... Paul Nelson CANNOT CLOSE. HE CAN'T CLOSE! Gordon: Again, it's how you play the game. He didn't want to close. The wagering
showed you he wasn't relying on him getting it right - he was relying on his
opponents getting it wrong. That's a way you can play the game - and it worked
for him. Chico: Can't do it. Gordon: $54,000 says you can. Jason: I agree with Gordon that it is a way to play. And win. But it is rare. I
wouldn't do it. Gordon: You know Press Your Luck. I can't catch you, so I'm passing a spin in
hope you hit a whammy. Jason: I understand, but most good champions don't play that way. Chico: I don't know of any J! champ who would. It's a rare win, but it's not the
best play. Gordon: This is the same way. I don't know the topic well enough to bet a lot,
so I'm going to gamble that you don't know it either. Chico: Risky. Wouldn't do it. Basically betting against yourself, you bet
against yourself, you're going to lose most of the time. Gordon: I'm not betting against myself. I'm betting against you. I'm not betting
that I'm going to get it right. I'm betting that you're going to get it wrong. Chico: That's not going to work in Tournament play. Gordon: Why not? Chico: You play to win, or you lose the first week. He's going to fall the first
week. Gordon: Depends on who he's up against. There have been Final Jeopardy tourneys
where people have had $0 and advanced. Chico: We'll see. February 2013 can't get here soon enough. Back to declaring
genius... If you remember last week, Jason said that Pete Yurkovich was going to
be the next person voted out. We all laughed at him...Well, guess who's the
Chico: There was something that Abi-Maria Gomes had that Pete didn't. Jason: The Idol. That was it. Chico: That would be it. Gordon: Well it was one or the other (coin flip). But they are both persona non-grata
on the island. And with Abi flushing her idol, she's next to go unless she can
convince someone that there's someone you want to go up against in the finals. Chico: Unfortunately that spot is taken... PENNER. And again, there's a strong-ish
cabal at play here: Carter, Denise, Penner, and Malcolm. Interesting thing,
though...Denise FLIPPED. So should we count her as a floater with Skupin and
Lisa now? Jason: You know who Abi reminds me of (to reference another show). You know the
girls who were NEVER told they couldn't sing? Chico: YEP. Jason: When she was dressed down. And she didn't realize she wasn't likable?
BAHAHAHA (falls off chair) Chico: And we've lost a Jason. And to Pete's discredit, he didn't do favors when
he tried to scramble for a flipper before Tribal. Gordon: No. That's called too little, too late. Jason: I smelled the desperation on the screen. Chico: Yep. Gordon: And your 4 in power - Lisa, Skupin, Denise and Malcolm Chico: Pete's desperation plus Abi's idol equals... easiest vote out so far this
season. But I still think barring an IC win, Abi is next. Jason: It is right there. Unless the castaways do something incredibly stupid. Gordon: Penner made a flaw that could come back to bite him also. Lisa and
Skupin wanted to align with Penner and he said no. Chico: Which hasn't happened YET. So we're about due. We're going to keep an eye
on this. Now Jason, you said something about people never having been told that
they couldn't sing? Jason: yes. Chico: ... Count Arin Ray and Beatrice Miller amongst them. Jason: I had Arin Ray this week too. :-) Gordon was right...on the X
Factor...the top is so far away from the bottom, you know?
Chico: I'll tell you how far it was. The top four were separated by a 1/2
percent. That's how close it was. Let's start at the bottom... without a saver
vote, CeCe Frey is back down to 8. The theme this week: Songs for People Who
Inspire You. Very Thanksgiving. Tears shed all over the place. You still have to
drive emotion instead of letting emotion drive you. That's why CeCe's at the
bottom. Fifth Harmony... seventh. Down one. They showed that they can do
harmony, but they're still five vocalists vying for air time. They're not one
group. Paige Thomas the beneficiary of a saver vote goes to sixth, Diamond White
goes to fifth. Then we have 4,3, 2, 1 staying ALMOST the same. 4 and 3 are the
same, Emblem 3 and Vino Alan. But 2 and 1 flip. Tate Stevens is second, and the
beneficiary of the closer spot take the top spot. THE RINGER! Jason: Can we just make it a Stevens/RInger final and save us three weeks? :-)
Chico: If only, J. If only. Gordon, your thoughts. Gordon: I'm sorry the Tryptophan took over and I fell asleep during the results
show. Wake me up when we get to the Final 4. Jason: SO it's the ZZZZZZZ Factor now? Gordon: no. The ZZZZzzzz Factor is on NBC. Chico: Bryan Keith and Sylvia Yacoub were eliminated this week. That leaves
Christina with ONE. Granted it's the one that we think is going to go to the
finals, but still... One. Cee-Lo still has three, the others have 2.... and
that's really all there is to it. *splashes water on the faces of his panelists* Jason: AH! Stop that! Gordon: I'm awake. The answer is 12. Jason: It's C. Gordon. Always C Chico: Actually, the answer is "No Passport".
Chico: Last week James & Abba lose their passport (and their other stuff
besides) and spend most of this week looking for it instead of actually racing.
So as a result, they were eliminated after only performing the Speed Bump and
the Roadblock. Jason: Which we barely saw. Chico: Correct. But let's talk about the comeback kids, the Ja(y)mes gang. We
didn't give them ANY hope after leg one, but after this leg, they're the team to
beat. Jason: The race flows that way Chico: And this was AFTER they had to figure out a time zone map. That was the
Roadblock. Jason: Who didn't love the professor in that challenge? Chico: He was awesome. Gordon: I'm not sure about Team to Beat status quite yet. Chico: Who've you got? Jason: And I loved the historical party. Chico: I caught the eye of Catherine the Great. Is that wrong? Jason: Nope :-) Gordon: That was a fun challenge. I still have Ryan and Abby as the 2 million
dollar team to beat. Jason: BTW...I see James/Abba as a second chance team. Chico: Right now, they're still in the back of the pack. Will they find a way to
come back? Gordon: Of course they will. Within the first 10 minutes of the program once all
of the teams are stuck at the same airport for an equalizer. Haven't you seen
enough episodes of the show to realize this? Chico: I've totally seen enough episodes of this show. It's not exactly the
worst show on TV you know. On the OTHER HAND...we may have a candidate for the
worst show of 2012 (WLTI Live, Best & Worst of Everything, December 31.) Jason: No...we DO have a candidate! Chico: Yes. Gordon: This was a show called Killer Karaoke, hosted by Steve-O. You may say
that it killed it. It killed it DEAD. Chico: With fire. Jason: And Snakes Gordon: and scorpions Chico: And alligators. Gordon: and helium Chico: And fish. The premise is this... you're presented with a bunch of Fear
Factor-like challenges. The catch is... you can't stop singing. Gordon: Now we here always watch everything we review. Unfortunately that also
proves true for this show. Chico: On paper, it should be schadenfreude-tastic. In practice, it's just...
unwatchable. Gordon: 2 singers compete in the head to head round. The audience votes one of
them to the finals. We do this three times where the last singer wins leaves
with a jackpot of money. Chico: Basically, you're on a merry-go-round of doom that gets faster, and
faster, and faster. Last one on wins up to $10,000. Is there any good to this
show? SERIOUSLY? Jason: Not an one. Gordon: Well...yes. Jason: Are you kidding me? Gordon: I'm not actually. Jason: Show me Gordon: I'll tell you. Part of the on paper thing is good, and I'll say the same
thing on Total Blackout - some of the setups are susprisingly good. Chico: You're a sadist, Gordon. Gordon: Yes, I am a sadist :) Chico: Okay, the setups are good, because we've seen them before. Numerous
times. Gordon: ...and that's all I can extract out of the good. As for the rest of the
show: It's a one trick pony, Steve O the host looks like he strung out on
whatever substance his agent gave him to sign a contract for this show,
contestants all came from casting central hell, one of the challenges should be
let's sing in a xerox maching plant and get high from all of the toxic fumes,
and the play-in rounds are actually more entertaining than the final round,
where people with epilepsy shouldn't be allowed anywhere near the TV. Jason: And half the singing is "AHHHHHHHHH" It's as entertaining as watching
paint dry. Chico: There's nothing killer about this show. It's barely karaoke. Between PPP
and the masochism tango, it's just.... terrible.
truTV - 9p ET Friday
Gordon: Yes. And I think I would have to pay Chico $50 to watch another episode.
The only reason why I am not failing this is that I'm a sadist. D- (Squared) Jason: Sorry I am not. F. (EPIC FAIL) Chico: F. Seriously, truTV? REALLY? You want some game show that's WORTH
watching? We've got'em all... and we've got'em all really really fast. It's Time
for Replay Time!
Jason: You have 5:30 on the clock. Here's your first recap...GO! Chico: Starting with the Dancing semifinals. If I were to tell you that the NFL
star was out would you believe me? Jason: Tell me it's not true! Gordon: Nooooooooo Chico: your final is set: Melissa Rycroft vs. Shawn Johnson vs. Kely Monaco. So
now we know where the voting audience went. They were watching the Voice at the
time. Jason: LOL Chico: Meanwhile, TPIR celebrated Thanksgiving that same Monday by giving away
over $63,000 in prizes. Showcase time. This is Lynne Adams' winning package: Cat
Cora's Thanksgiving showcase with cookware, cookbooks, a kitchen, and a European
vacation. Iron-Chef-Case total? Jason: $25,000? Chico: It was $25,832. A day after, Larry Legend of the CZW wins the whole thing
with $37,924. Of course, legally he had to be Larry Mercer, but you get it. Gordon: We use Flip Flop as a segue, because in Top Chef Seattle, Kuniko makes
hitory - in the wrong way. She is the first chef to go from winning the first
challenge to be out in the very next episode. Jason: Yipe :-) Chico: Talk about a flip flop. Gordon: I do. And here's an Iron Chef Redemption. Name I'll mention. Amanda
Frietag... Chico: please please please... Gordon: WINS the challenge on episode 3. Chico: DAMN IT! Gordon: That sends Eric Greenspan out the door. Ria Pell walks out the door in
Chopped, but she walks out $10,000 richer. Chico: On Hip-Hop Squares, Bianca, an exotic dancer... really... wins $4000 when
she was able to guess what was the most stolen car in the US. She goes with Fat
Joe's answer of Honda Accord... and it's right. They'll be playing episodes all
week next week, by the way. Jason: And you can win a G Chico: We had two chances winning 100Gs on Wheel. Jason: May I take the wheel please? Chico: Take the Wheel. Jason: On Wednesday's Wheel, Cat Debler from Valley Village, CA wins $37,850 in
the front game, including a $5,000 Shopping Spree from Sears. In the bonus
round, she lands on the G in GAME. She is dealing with a THING. With the RSTLNE
and her choices of C M D A we have:
C _ _ N / _ A N _
Chico: COIN BANK Gordon: Chin Gang. It's led by Jay Leno Chico: BOOOO Jason: NO NO, Gordon. Chico is right and so is Cat and the confetti rains down!
She is our 2nd $100,000 winner and she leaves with $137,850 in cash and prizes.
And I hope Elaine S. claimed her rightful cash! THE NEXT NIGHT, on Thanksgiving
Eve, Pam Loftus from Charleston, WV wins $11,583 in the front game including a
trip to Aruba! In HER Bonus round...She lands on the I in SPIN. She is dealing
with a THING. With the RSTLNE and her choices of D B C I we have:
_ I R S T /_ L I _ _ S E
Chico: FIRST... GLIMPSE? Jason: YES! Pam DID NOT solve it. And in her envelope...was the $100,000. She
becomes the 2nd loser of this season. Gordon: Nice. In RuPaul's Drag Race, NO ONE was eliminated, setting up a Final 4
in the finals. Chico: Newlywed Game congratulations to Gene & Gina, Derick & Octavia, Kevin &
Angela, and Doug & Stephanie for winning their matches. Over to LMAD family
style and a new game. The family game happened Tuesday. Jason: And it was fun as well! Chico: And it came down to Joseph & Lilly, who trade in their Mall of America
shopping spree for a door. They pick #3. #2 was an HDTV with chairs and a
popcorn machine. #3 ... surfing gear and wetsuits. The biggie was #1, a 2013
Ford Escape SUV.... Escaperoutes. Jason: You want to hear about the new game on LMAD? Chico: Oh yes, yes I do. Jason: It's called MONEY IN THE BANK. The contestant has to match money amounts
to facts for $500 a fact up to $2,000 Then they have a chance to put their money
in one of 5 banks. 2 have zonks, One has x 1/2, one has x2 and one has x5 for a
potential payoff of $10,000. In the game we saw on Wednesday, the winner got all
four right and doubled her cash! Chico: Nice. Gordon: Deborah escaped with $5,000 in Total Blackout Chico: And in the Play of the Week, we go to LAA again. Kevin Baea is batting
1000... or should we say $10,000.... Watch.
Chico: Kevin is swinging for the fences. Gordon: And he hits a grand slam. Which means he gets this...
Chico: And that's a REPLAY. STOPTHECLOCK! Jason: STOP! Gordon: (Hits plunger) Chico: Okay, you may think we're out of energy after that... We're NOT! The hams
like to keep us running. They think they won't have to if we do... Hehe... Get
in your wheel. Gordon: (Puts hamsters in wheel) Chico: Gordon, the phrase that pays, please Gordon: Roll that Beautiful Brain Footage - and keep the pig scraps off the
floor. We don't do the 5 second rule here, either.
Live, local, and latebreaking... From the four corners of the globe to
your frontal lobe, this is WLTI Brainvision News, and now here's Gordon Pepper,
Chico Alexander, and the award-winning Brainvision News Team)
Chico: Thank you. First of all, I'm shooting for a hat trick, I need a stick. Gordon: (Gives Chico an NHL Hockey Stick) We just got a new supply. Chico: Nice shiny stick. Has a bit of Haterade on it for lustre. You remember Brandi
Cochran, right? She was allegedly fired for getting pregnant and then losing the
baby? Jason: Right.
Well, a jury came back with a verdict in that wrongful termination case,
and she wins $777,000... PLUS $7.7 million in punitive damages.
Chico: If I can use TPIR parlance, she spun the dollar TWICE. Gordon: and hit the SHowcases on an exacta. Jason: In all seriousness...could this be the start of a flood of Model wins? Gordon: Yes, Jay, it could, and that could spell troubles for TPIR. Chico: Well, not if Fremantle wins on appeal. Gordon: I don't see Freemantle winning this on appeal. Chico: This is gonna come out of all that American Idol money which they already
spent on drinks for Nicki Minaj's multiple
personalities. Jason: Ha. Gordon: They can always make more on a Datebook.
This week, it's musical quarterfinal and semi-final action as we
approach the end of the year, and the finals of Chef Race as well
Chico: So singing, dancing, and cooking Gordon: And getting Fully Loaded Chico: This one has a bit of a greenlight to it. One word... ROBOTS
Syfy has greenlit "Robot Combat League", which is less Battlebots and
more Real Steel.
Jason: And hosted by...The Ayatollah of Rock and Rolla. Your Party Host and host
of Downfall...Chris Jericho! Gordon: I think this could work. Jason: I do too. Chico: Me three. Gordon: I was a huge Battlebots fan when it was on Comedy Central. Jason: Jericho has enough doofus in him that he can do this. Chico: February 26 on that one. Gordon: That's smart. This...is dumb.
Are YOU Smarter than...David 'Puck' Rainey, who was on MTV's The
Challenge. He now has a new challenge: Spend a year in jail for being convicted
on stalking charges and getting out in one piece.
Jason: And this shocks...NO ONE. Chico: ... Nope Gordon: And for your feast, I added some turkey gravy into the Haterade. Drink
up! Chico: Yummy. Cranberry really ties it all together. Jason: mmmm...gravylicious
It also has Devotion Sprits in it. as 'The Situation' is suing it for 5
million dollars for not living up to it's contract.
Jason: Dude, dont sue...donate some cash to the Jersey Shore Restoration. Gordon: And speaking of spirits...
Jason: AH! Augustus! Chico: Yo
Viral Video Showdown is nowhere on Syfy's schedule and their 'coming up'
episode is also nowhere to be seen.
Jason: Sorry, Kevin. Chico: At least there's that whole asking America think to fall back on. And if
that doesn't work, we can play princess in the UK
Eight young men are vying to win the heart of a young woman via
challenges put forth by her father. That's the premise behind My Little
Chico: Imagine The Bachelor meets Knights & Warriors. Jason: Do not be surprised if we see this in the USA AND it becomes a hit. Chico: Don't give anyone any ideas Gordon: Do not be surprised if NBC picks it up into the Summer and becomes
fodder. Chico: And don't be surprised if we see the father of all media hoes on this
show. Gordon: Ludame Chico: (plays Ludacris)
In this week's Media HO Report, the AMA honors the late Dick Clark,
Khloe Kardashian gets a power scare (don't worry, she's ok), Chico's stomach will
regurgitate the food he ate during thanksgiving when he sees that Rachel Vs. Guy
got renewed for Season 2...
Chico: Excuse me for a second... Jason: *THUD*
Chuck Woolery used to be Superman, Howard Stern is waffling about going back to
America's Got Talent, and Sean Lowe is the NEW Bachelor, which should
make Chico all giddy with excitement.
Chico: *does finger twirl* whoopie. Gordon: But none of them are the ho...or hoes...of the week. Jason: Hoes? :-) Gordon: Well you can say I'm titillated with excitement this week or the hoes. Chico: You're titillated with excitement this week for the hoes. Gordon: You can say that we here at WLTI like to keep people abreast of the
situation. Chico: ... boobies. Gordon: I think Chico knows where I'm going with this. Chico: Oh yeah. Jason: What happened? and who is the boob here? Chico: Nicki Minaj.... and Nicki Minaj. Gordon: she makes a lovely pair. Apparently, Nicki Minaj's boobs, jealous with all the attention Khloe
Kardashian was getting, decided to make their own appearance. Chico: She was on 106 & Park this week and ... one of her girls came out. Jason: Actually it was a nipple Chico: It was more like a third of a nipple. It was a scary looking third. Gordon: When you want your judges to make news, this is NOT the way to do it. Chico: .. boobs. Gordon: And those...are your hoes. Chico: That's Brainvision. Shut it off, please. Jason: (shutting down) Gordon: Still to come, we get theatrical, but first, we look ahead towards the
holiday season. you're reading WLTI. You give us 22 minutes, and we'll give you
22 people we'd like to see on Killer Karaoke. Chico: Three of them named Kardashian.
(Brainvision is presented by Serial Killer Karaoke. The best singers in
the world take on each other while brandishing weapons of death against
deadly... crash dummies. Hey, it's TV.)