Episode 31.12 - The Episode
That Wouldn't Die
Chico: This is Chico Alexander... with Gordon.. and Augustus
in the corner. For the whole show. Why you may ask? Because this is the episode that refuses to die! Ain't that right, Gordon?
Gordon: It is... (feeds Augustus holiday shows)... but it's the show that
wouldn't die, featuring episodes
that won't die, contestants that won't die, and shows that are like Christmas
Chico: hard to stomach and sort of unnatural. We'll talk about those,
because from somewhere in America, the WLTI that refuses to die ... is ALIVE!!!!
Gordon: (Lightning Flashes) What was that?
Chico: Lightning. Must be time for the FASTEST FIVE AND A HALF MINUTES
IN GAME SHOWS!
Gordon: Start the clock...now!
Chico: We're starting with the X Factor believe it or not. Because in a season that's been so improbable, the impossibly
predictable has happened.
Gordon: We are down to 4 people, which means that we're stuck with
someone that mistakenly believes they have a chance to win.
Chico: That someone, Fifth Harmony. Fourth place this week. 1-2-3, Tate, Carly, Emblem3.
Gordon: One week until Carly / Tate finale.
Chico: Also down to four on "The Voice"... two from Cee-Lo, two from
Blake. Cassadee Pope and Terry McDermott from Team Blake and Trevin
Hunte and Nicholas David for Team Cee-Lo. Wake me up when the Terry/Trevin final
Gordon: Gee, you think?
Chico: I do.
Gordon: Over to Top Chef, where we finally get rid of a veteran. CJ goes
away, leaving Josie and Stefan still in. But WAIT! It's the Last Chance Kitchen! CJ is STILL ALIVE, as
he's still in the Last Chance Kitchen. He's the old Christmas ham in the corner. Over to Next Iron Chef, where Amanda Freitag.....
Gordon: Now you know you want me to say she's gone from the show.
Chico: .... she isn't, is she?
Gordon: What's the theme of this week's show?
Chico: Refuses to die.
Gordon: Kerrect. So she wins the challenge and is in the FINAL FOUR.
Chico: She's not gonna win this. She can't win this.
Gordon: And if she does?
Chico: I ... I don't know. I just don't know. Anyway, let's get to another boring finish... Jeopardy! ended the
week on a lock game.
Gordon: You have a Final Jeopardy question?
Chico: I do.
Gordon: Lay it on me.
Chico: The category: 20th Century Plays.
This 1962 play takes place beginning at 2am in the living room
of a house on a New England college campus.
Gordon: Puts on Santa Outfit: What's Who's Afraid of Virginia Woolf?
Chico: Right. Now put this on.
Gordon: ...A fruitcake costume? Really?
Gordon: (Puts on Holiday Fruitcake Outfit) What is Return of the Living
Dead Part 7: Final Exam Week?
Chico: AKA my life right about now.
Gordon: You've been through final exam week. You've gotten no sleep. I bet
you felt like a zombie.
Chico: Oh yeah. Now I'm gonna have to deal with everyone else doing
that. Josh Frumkin returns Monday to begin what we hope is a long
championship streak. Meanwhile, on numbNuts, it begins with a Horse, an extreme
slackline walker... and it ends with four stories, boxes, hammers, and a trip
into the ocean. Andy wins $7500, Horse wins $2500. Elizabeth Campbell wins Mony Mony on Killer Karaoke to the tune
of $7100. Jessica the Gypsy wins the Big Deal on Friday's LMAD, giving her
a 2013 hyundai accent, $1000 for gas, and EVERYTHING IN THE BIG DEAL! HDTV with home theatre, and snowboarding equipment. That's $23,545. And on Wheel, we pass the $3 million mark with this tough
T _ U _ _ / _ U _ _ L E
Chico: I'll give you a moment to think about this tough puzzle.
Gordon: (Puts on Rudolph sweater) I look ridiculous in this. Where the
hell is Jason Block?
Chico: I think it's cute. Oh, push the button...
Gordon: (Pushes Button. Red nose lights up). Great.
Chico: So what's the puzzle?
Gordon: It's a ...Tough Puzzle.
Chico: Too tough. They don't get it, but they do get $3 million this
year so far. And that... will do it for the Replay at last. Now push the
Gordon: Hold on, since it's going to make you happy... (Puts on Pink Bunny Nightmare Costume). Really?
Gordon: What. Ever. (Hits Plunger)
Chico: Okay, now let's talk about that other big show on CBS. The one
that airs on the daytime. Now flash back to October 15, 2007;
Gordon: That would be Drew Carey's first day as host of The Price is
Chico: Drew Carey took up the mantle of the longest running and most
beloved of game shows. Five years and 999 shows later, it's time to celebrate as the
most beloved of game shows and STILL #1 IN DAYTIME, MARKS.... turns over its
o-Drew-meter to 1000. So we have another really big special show where Drew picks the
prizes... and the players pretty much whiff the show. Not a terrible mark, but it's 2-4. Lucky Seven, the first game Drew ever hosted... BIG LOSS. Switch for trips to Seattle & Cleveland... won. It's In the Bag.. Big loss. BIG WIN in Any Number, a 2013 Chevrolet Camaro. $24,839, by the way.
Gordon: Keep in mind that these are gifts Drew Carey likes, not
necessarily gifts that you the contestant would want.
Chico: You don't want a Camaro? Because I want a Camaro. Finally... Rat Race... Drew's creation... was a loss. Came away with an exercise bike, though.
Gordon: you want Seattle Sounders tix?
Chico: Better than Hurricanes tickets at the moment. So let's talk Showcase. Brooks Inga vs. Joshua Stirling. First up, Drew's favorite trips... a private jet to Las Vegas
and a trip to the World Cup in Rio. You want to bid on this or pass?
Gordon: It's all yours. And here, I'll throw in something extra to your
showcase. (Throws in Pink Bunny Nightmare outfit)
Chico: Okay, Joshua does the same, Brooks bids $16,000. NEXT, Drew's favorite things. a photo booth... a Vespa
scooter... and a BMW 128i coupe. Better for you?
Gordon: Sure. $36,000
Chico: Joshua bids $38,000. Actual price... $45,829, a difference of
$7829. Actual price of Brooks' Showcase... more than $16,000. A lot
Chico: So Brooks has $47,667 and ... THIS
Chico: And one for Drew as well for proving the haters wrong.
Chico: But do you think another CBS player deserves it? Let's talk
about Abi-Maria for a moment. She's either really good or the others are just really bad...
Gordon: Well not yet, but she is sticking around.
Chico: So let's go through this episode... Malcolm's brother wins him a
reward. And the rest of the tribe is looking to get rid of him.
Gordon: These are good things.
Chico: Seems easy enough.. One problem. One teeny tiny problem with that.
Gordon: He wins immunity, doesn't he?
Chico: He wins immunity so hard. That puts the other five in play. Skupin, Lisa, Denise, Abi, and Carter. Lisa and Skupin are forced to play by Malcolm's rules. That leaves Denise and Abi and Carter to fight it out in Tribal,
and this is where I think Abi makes either the smartest or the dumbest move in
the game. She keeps flaunting "the fact" that she has an immunity idol.
Gordon: It's smart. Until someone calls on her it's smart.
Chico: You almost expect her to be called on it, but no one does! But here's the thing, someone's going to call her on it NEXT
time. UNLESS they think about this from endgame point of view. Now if you take Abi to the finals with you, that's one less
person you have to go up against .
Gordon: Unless she turns around and boats she never had an immunity idol
That's great gameplay.
Chico: Except that she DID have an immunity Idol.
Gordon: Well we shall see. She is still in the minority. Santa look familiar?
Chico: That's a guy from DOND, isn't it?
Gordon: Sure is.
Chico: She is still in the minority. But I would take her to the finals
if I had the chance.
Gordon: I would too. She's pissing everyone off. Would you take the twins to the Amazing Race finale?
Chico: Umm... no I wouldn't.
Gordon: Well too bad, because you're going to.
Gordon: Again, fitting the theme, we have a NON-ELIMINATION LEG in the
penultimate night, meaning we have 4 teams alive with 2 episodes to go in a
back to back special.
Chico: Yep, and Nadiya & Natalie are taking the Speed Bump in the finale. So the question... Who wins?
Gordon: Not the twins.
Chico: Right now the smart money is on Trey & Lexi, who've been the
strongest team since Ryan & Abbie left the race. But don't sit on the other two teams either.
Gordon: You have the Chippendales, who would be the prototypical team to
win this, except they are as smart as a bag of putty. You have Trey and Lexi, who are as emotionally strong as a Jenga
Chico: How about the Beekmans?
Gordon: And you have the Beekmans, who are only in this because every
episode one team makes a blunder (and the only time they didn't was in a
Chico: So it's pretty much and open field for you, isn't it?
Gordon: Open for the wrong reason. This season has left me flat. It's exciting, but that's because
you don't have that all-star team for me.
Chico: so you really can't pick a favorite out. You'll just be happy
that it ends.
Gordon: And onto the next day, when Millionaire begins.
Chico: Ooh, I love this. You've been hearing about this all week, thank you Disney. Someone is playing for half a million.
Gordon: Which means, of course...they don't win the millions.
Chico: Of course, but there's a principle at work; you don't spoil for ratings. That's just... stupid.
Gordon: You don't? Of COURSE you do.
Chico: You ever hear of someone spoiling the Feud?
Gordon: Last time I checked, you can't win a mil on the Feud, nor is the
Chico: Ah, true. Right now, LAA is doing better than Millionaire and it's only on
in seven markets. But you want to talk about the question.
Gordon: I do.
Chico: Okay, let's set the scene. Dan DeLisio of Pittsburgh, remember that name. He's going to be
brought up when we do the 2012 Best and Worst of Everything... December 31 on
CLW83.com. Thanks for asking. He jumps $100,000... Then wins $250,000... And faces THIS for $500,000...
Eagle-eyed viewers of "Gone with the Wind" will notice all but which of the
following anachronisms in the film?
A: Radio tower
B: Electric streetlight
C: Electric lamp
D: Telephone booth
Gordon: The question boils down to - what item was earliest and could have
been in the movie.
Chico: Right. But they all could've been in the movie.
Gordon: true - but which one would have been a blatant no no. I would actually be pretty sure the answer is D, but
$500,000 on it.
Chico: This is a simple you either know it or you don't.
Chico: Dan would've done the same thing as you. But he walks with $250,000... The answer.... coming up after this capsule review. No... It was D.
Chico: We could've seen a million dollar question. But in that place I DO have a million dollar question for you. Say you were the owner of a franchise that sells bowling and
bowling accessories. And you have two star employees... Would you have them compete against each other for their own
franchise of this bowling enterprise?
Gordon: Would I have them? No. Will I for the purpose of the game? Sure.
Chico: So you would do it if there was a game and cameras involved.
Gordon: Well yes, but no. For the sake of the argument, sure.
Chico: Okay, that's the premise behind A&E's Undercover Boss spinoff. It's Be the Boss. and it's essentially the Apprentice... if it
were only an hour long.
Gordon: We have 2 people who think they are good enough - and one boss
who has the power to do so.
Chico: And all they have to do is show them through a variety of
challenges that they have the acumen for the job.
Gordon: But at the end of the day it's the boss's decision
Chico: Isn't it always.
Gordon: It is. And that's both the good and bad of the show
Chico: Like the Apprentice, there's no real metric for success... it's
all the boss' decision. You could theoretically do everything right by the book... and
Gordon: And if the boss knows one of the contestants - either way - they
are screwed without the bases of the show.
Chico: It's supposed to be life-changing and heart-warming, but in the
end, it's the televised version of (^_^)ing where you eat.
Gordon: True. And of course, if everyone knows each other, it's nothing
but drama and pressure after the show.
BE THE BOSS
A&E - 10p ET Sunday
Chico: If you like business competitions, you'll like this. If you like
Undercover Boss, you'll like this. Otherwise, take a pass. C-
Gordon: The good however: It does demystify the process, which is a good
staple of any show. The only issue that I have here is that it turne into a 60
Chico: Yeah. I don't know about you, but I want to go to Complete Nutrition.
Gordon: Or a good gym.
Chico: Your grade?
Gordon: It is an intriguing proposition. I like it from an information
perspective, but the gameplay falls very flat for me. B as a documentary, D for
the game, so a C total.
Chico: So there you go. Now I'm gonna let you be the boss and get
the Choppler in order.
Gordon: (Puts the hamsters in their cubicles) Roll that Beautiful Brain
Live, local, and latebreaking... From the four corners of the globe to
your frontal lobe, this is WLTI Brainvision News, and now here's Gordon Pepper,
Chico Alexander, and the award-winning Brainvision News Team)
Chico: Thanks. First up, let's go the datebook. It's a big entry, G.
It's semi-finals week! And starting on Monday, it's time to...Take
it All! (Grabs Datebook)
Chico: What's sure to be a perfectly decent game made almost
unwatchable by the prisoners of NBC and their dilemmas.
Gordon: Can I predict what we're going to say about the show?
Chico: Please do.
Gordon: A. Easily could be shrunk into a 30 minute format
B. You want to introduce the contestants to a prize of a leathered guy with a
C. You want to introduce the person who created the bonus round of Friend Or Foe
to the same guy with the chainsaw.
Chico: what's up with you and chainsaws?
Gordon: Well here then (Gives Chico a chainsaw-shaped bat)
Chico: Thank you. This one gets filed under ... No Seriously... you greenlit that?
Fox just ordered... Babes on a Bus.
Chico: Do we still have a clip of Jones' Big Ass Truck Rental and
Storage? THIS IS A BUS! It's basically... women traveling on a bus looking for love...
Gordon: The premise: Babes tour the USA. If they find love, they get off
the bus and someone else gets on.
Chico: It's Take Me Out... on a BUS.
Gordon: That'll work good, won't it?
Chico: I don't know. How did it work LAST time? It BARELY avoided a premature death. And by barely, I mean by the skin of my head. All I can say is... you pass on "the Chase" for THIS? THIS?!
Gordon: Yes, we have more stupid where that came from.
Chico: Yep. (pulls out smart board)
Are YOU Smarter than...A Nerd? We'll see January 17th as King of
the Nerds Debuts.,
Chico: With so many nerds it makes us look like jocks by comparison. And since
I'm a gym rat and Gordon bowls, we're already sort of
jockish for a couple of nerds.
Gordon: True. And we drink Haterade right after the workout.
Chico: Yep. The protein blend.
Remember when Cheryl Cole
got booted from X-Factor early? She
does - and she also remembers that according to her, she wasn't paid for Season
2- which her contract says she should have been. Here come the lawyers.
Chico: Ew. How much are we talking?
Gordon: 1.8 mil.
Chico: ... it's no 7.7 mil. That's about as much as you can get winning The Amazing Race
Canada. Let's Go Global!
CTV has signed on for its own version of "The Amazing Race",
which will see teams of 2 travel all across the Great White North, from
Vancouver Island to the Bay of Fundy and back.
Gordon: Any word if a trip to the Jeopardy Studio is on their itinerary?
Chico: Uh..no. Sorry
Gordon: What about Ho-llywood?
Chico: Nice. They're going to Ho-ronto. (plays Pimpin All Over the World).
Gordon: I saw what you did
Chico: "I used to think that it was way too cold until I went to Canada
and saw some beautiful hoes."
this week's Media Ho report, Howard Stern signs up for another
season of America's Got Talent, Adam Levine trashes Honey Boo Boo, Rihanna
creates a new style game show... Mark Cuban guest hosts TMZ, Jeff Dye will ring in 2013 for MTV,
and Simon Cowell isn't saying whether he wants Demi Lovato to return (doesn't
look good for Demi)...
Chico: Just to let you know that we are available and pitch perfect. And in Gordon's case, BRUTALLY HONEST.
Kristin Chenoweth and Jake Pavelka may be an item, Sean Lowe gets
to see his 25 beauties, and Ashley and JP are married. Chico, what did you give
them as a marriage present?
Chico: I got them a prenup!
Gordon: But none of them are your ho of the week.
Chico: Basically if they appear on my TV again, ABC has to greenlight a
full season of a decent remake of a British game show.
Gordon: Your ho - is Octomom,....who has won a slew of porno awards. This
stuff writes itself, folks.
Chico: Yeah, let it write iteself and let's get loaded.
Gordon: And those...are your hoes.
Chico: And I got one more set of hoes, and it comes with Twitter beef.
Alan Sugar and Donald Trump. Both hosted versions of "The
Apprentice". Alan Sugar has an opinion, and Donald Trump thinks it's stupid.
Chico: the subject... wind turbines. Alan Sugar is in favor of them, while Trump somehow makes it
Gordon: and this surprises you...how exactly?
Chico: Not much.
Gordon: And that's BrainVision. Shut it down
Chico: right on. *app*. Still to come, we celebrate a little Take It All by discounting
some serious game show swag. But first, G?
Gordon: First up - we played a game, ;liked it, and haven't played it
since - until now. you're reading WLTi. you give us 22 minutes and we'll give
you 22 things we don't want to take at all - like skiing lessons on a bed of
Chico: or a dance with a guy in a Zorro mask.
Gordon: Or Brandon Jacob's Twitter account
(Brainvision is presented by Beat the Boss. It's every
American's dream, as an office of cohorts challenge each other to try and give
the boss what for.*)
*GSNN does not condone workplace violence.
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