May 21, 2007

Jason: LOL
Gordon: Submitted by Ryan Vickers
Jason: Good job Ryan
Gordon: Did you know that after watching the Heroes Marathon this past weekend, I have Micah-like powers?
Chico: Like what?
Gordon: Like I can talk to my TiVo
Chico: .... Okay.
Jason: Oh boy.
Chico: Well, if you're a fan of TV as we are, you know that Christmas came early this week in the form of the fall upfronts. Doubly so if you're a game show fan.
Gordon: And I think it's time to find out what my TiVo says about me - don't you?
Jason: I think so.
Chico: Yep. It's time for "What Your TiVo Says About You... Fall TV edition."
Gordon: Yay!

First trip takes us to NBC, where they're going unscripted at 8 every night... except Thursday. So what does it say when you have Deal, 1 vs. 100, Biggest Loser, and new entries "The Singing Bee" and "World Moves"?

Jason: That you are missing great comedy like My Name Is Earl, the Office and Scrubs.
Gordon: You're a lucky person who is into being bald, has a gut, who likes to listen to different sort of music and who can both sing AND dance...you're Chico Alexander!
Chico: Hey... Gut's not that big anymore.
Gordon: Are you going to go to the Singing Bee and audition while singing in your boxers?
Chico: I will if you will =p
Jason: Ok....no way. My eyes.
Chico: Could be worse. Could be Sanjaya at the Singing Bee...
Jason: Oh.... My ears...
Gordon: While we do dress rehearsals, next one?
Chico: Next up...

We're going to the CW next, with returning favorites "Beauty and the Geek" and "Top Model" are joined by "Crowned" and "The Pussycat Dolls Present..."

Chico: It says "I'm a horny 14-year-old who just aced my SATs."
Gordon: Im a horny 20 year old college student nwho really doesn't care about grades.
Jason: I am a horny 16 yr old with posters of Tyra nd Nicole on the wall.
Chico: So the CW is going for the horny reality show fan, obviously.
Jason: The YOUNG Horny reality fan.
Gordon: And keeping them young. Next?
Chico: Ha! Okay, next...

Survivor heads to China... Amazing Race heads to midseason... and the Power of 10 heads to summer... It's all right here on CBS, where the C stands for classy...

Jason: CLASSY!
Chico: ... And the BS speaks for itself.
Jason: Wrong network.
Chico: Hey, don't blame me, blame Ferguson.
Gordon: Let's see. Foreign Travel, needs some analytical skills, likes to count the public...You're a census taker!
Chico: With Power of 10 being called "Family Feud" on steroids... I'm strictly old school. Yeah... 2001. What what.
Jason: You have like the classics...and are Michael Davies's mom...got to root for son to have ANOTHER hit on primetime besides Millionaire? Right? Right?
Gordon: You do - and Drew Carey's in it, and he's not going to take something unless he thought it was good
Chico: And Drew Carey's good as well, so you gotta have hope.
Jason: Believe me, I have hope. Michael Davies will have SO many chances.
Chico: He's got two big games under his belt... Granted one was shuttled to syndication and the other's on GSN, but third time's a charm!
Gordon: We'll see. Next one?
Chico: Next...

ABC has "Dancing"... and another "Bachelor".

Chico: It says "I'm down ... with the ladies." Or at least I'd like to be. Please love me.
Jason: You are a SAHM with a bad husband who is a hopeless romantic who likes to see sexy man in hot pants.
Gordon: You are a housewife who likes to see dancing celebrities, and then idolize other housewives have explicit affairs.
Chico: As long as you don't mind me explaining people on a desert island with a VW bug... 48 more episodes, folks.
Gordon: Yay. Next?
Chico: Next, it's your favorite network in the whole wide world... FOX!
Gordon: Yo yo yo

Fox has three schedules, and on them... Are You Smarter Than a 5th Grader.. The Next American Band... American Idol... and for the fan of Hell's Kitchen, "Kitchen Nightmares".

Gordon: You're a chain pot smoker who likes to illegally download music from the 'net while the drugs are eating away your brain cells so you think that 5th grader is challenging.
Chico: Three words... I'll watch anything.
Jason: I cant reprogram my TivO--not everything Fox does is....what Chico said.
Chico: Granted the schedule is entertaining... but it's like Chinese food... Doesn't stay with you for a while.
Jason: Indeed.
Chico: And finally....

The key word at My "Network" TV is recycling, as they bring back "Meet My Folks" and "Paradise Hotel".

Jason: You are Kortney with a K still lamenting the loss of MyGames Fever.
Chico: You're saying... "I give up!"
Gordon: You are desperately hoping that Syler from 'Heroes' comes over to your house, twists off the top of your head like a can opener and starts munching on your brain.
Jason: Your brain is already being munched on if you are Tivoing the MyNetwork.
Chico: "It will give me power."
Jason: And who wants that Brain Power?
Chico: True. And that's what your TiVo will say about you come fall... I still think the show based on "Cavemen"... first one cancelled.
Jason: Nope.
Gordon: Cavemen will last for a few episodes. I think that we have some better candidates out there
Jason: James Dinan is very good with the Death Pool..
Chico: We'll see. Meanwhile, we're going to pay a few bills. We'll be back with Gordon's coin collection in a moment, but first, watch this please.

(Brought to you by National Dingo Night. 75 dogs in one hopper. Avoid the one with rabies and you'll get a $5 Kmart gift card.)

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