November 26, 2005
Gordon: Yay, Slackervision!
Gordon: Does anyone remember the Thanksgiving Whammy?
Travis: Not me, surprisingly. Where's Ziek when you need him?
Gordon: The Whammy was dressed up as a Pilgrim, with a gun, aiming at a Turkey,
He says, 'Sweet Potatoes, Cranberry and' he shoots the gun, recoiling him, and
as he says 'A Turkey' as he goes flying off the screen. The Turkey chuckles and
says 'Better luck next time, Pilgrim'.
Travis: That's classic!
Gordon: It's actually on Xanfan's site, if you want to see it.
Travis: oh cool
Chico: that's Xanfan.com :-)
Chico: Kris Lane, good friend of ours. We hope. Anyway, what does a turkey have
to do with Whammies, G?
Gordon: I have a whole bag of Whammies. You designate who gets to spend the time
between Thanksgiving and Christmas with them. Ready?
Travis: Hit us.
Chico: Ready, too.
Gordon: Since we love to pick on GSN, let's start with the JAWS Whammy -
Wet (Playing with Dolphins) or Poker Zen with Phil Helmuth - which show gets a
Whammy for Jumping the Shark long when it got to a pilot stage?
Gordon: Wet gets a Sloppy Wet Whammy.
Chico: Stick the fishie out already...
Chico: Mind out of the gutter, Bri! :-)
Gordon: Next up -
The Supremes Whammy - 'All I need is Cash' - and with that we go to But Can They
Sing crooners Carmine Gotti and Bai Ling. Which one of these train wreck
superstars gets a Whammy for being there for the cash?
Travis: Bai Ling.
Don: Hmm...I'll say Gotti.
Chico: Fine. But you won't like it... Bai Ling.
Gordon: Bad Chico! No Soup For You! Don't you like how she made love to the
stool on the last episode? It was a classic!
Chico: Told you.
Brian: An instant classic!
Gordon: It should go to GSN immediately!
Travis: NO! (*Dives in front of GSN to take the bullet*)
Chico: Put down the gun, Gordon.. Put it down... Walk away.
Gordon: Darn. Next...
Whammy #3 is the Millionaire Whammy, which is appropriate because we are going
to visit Who Wants to be A Millionaire. No one has gotten to $250,000 yet. Do we
blame the Question writers for making the material too hard, or the contestants
for being morons?
Brian: The contestants for personality over brains.
Don: Contestants. I want to see them do better than they've been doing lately!
Gordon: So should we send a second whammy over to the contestant coordinators?
Travis: Yes. Fax it over.
Chico: Yes. Millionaire should've picked my ass. Heh :-)
Gordon: ok - the contestants AND the coordinators each get whammies - but we
spare the question writers.
Brian: Please find contestants with personality AND brains!
Chico: Give'em a bonus. The WhamRon Whammy
Gordon: Next up - the Martha Stewart Whammy - Appropriate here. Which of her
shows, which are both underperformers, deserves a Whammy more - her own show or
Travis: Apprentice. She's good back in daytime.
Brian: The Apprentice, definitely.
Gordon: Ok- The Apprentice doesn't fit on TV - but fits in fine with the
Chico: It's a good thing.
Gordon: We come up next with...
The Rock Star (complete with electric guitar) Whammy, as we ask who is to blame
for the American Idol mess - Fox, for not giving Simon Cowell what he wants, or
Cowell, for asking for too much?
Travis: Cowell...too greedy for only wearing one wardrobe.
Don: Yeah, Cowell.
Chico: He read the contract when he signed it.
Gordon: No one wants to blame the machine instead, eh?
Travis: How do you know about the Machine?
Gordon: There But For The Grace of God Go I...oh, wrong Machine.
Chico: Deus Ex Machina... Dawg.
Gordon: Final Whammy....
The Picnic Basket Whammy...or the Bot George Whammy? Let me explain. What show
do you want to see go away forever? But Can They Sing or The Bachelor 8? And no,
you can't say both.
Travis: Bachelor 8, Bachelor and Bachelorette altogether
Brian: Bachelor 8, please be gone forever!
Chico: Bachelors in general. In fact, anything with Mike Fleiss.
Gordon: So you'd all watch another season of But Can They Sing instead of The
Gordon: I'm sure Ahmet Zappa has to be smiling...somewhere.....
Chico: Better than WebRiot.
Brian: And maybe Robotica.
Gordon: Ok. I'm all out of Whammies. But we still have more stuff, though,
don't we, Chico?
Chico: Yep. The most violent game on this show... is next. This is WLTI,
celebrating fandom as sport since 2002.
(Brought to you by Curry-oke! You can now hear Adrienne Curry sing classic pop
tunes - and she's even better than Bai Ling! Watch for the Adrienne Curry tour
coming to a Grizzlebees near you)