April 24, 2006

Jason B: oooh scary.
Gordon: We are back, and it's time to play a NEW game
Chico:  *trombone fanfare*
Jason B: Yay...another new game!
Gordon: Is everyone familiar with PTI's Good Cop, Bad Cop?
Mike: Yessir
Jason B: Yes.
Chico:  Hai.
Joe:   Think so.
Gordon: Well, we now have our OWN version, called...wait for it...PAULA VS SIMON!
Joe:   ROFL
Jason B: Oh no.
Chico:  Bad host... BAD :)
Mike: You couldn't find a better name.
Gordon: By my random draw, one of you gets to be Paula and say everything good (and since this is 4/20 week, you can act like you're on drugs) and the other person is Simon and gets to blast it.
Chico:  Heh
Jason B: Oh my goodness.
Chico:  But no one will wear a dress, right?
Gordon: No one wears a dress, and no keeping score - this is all for funsies
Jason B: (takes dress off) Are you sure?
Gordon: I knew Jason likes those female roles
Jason B: LOL...lets get to it
Chico:  Get to the game, please.
Joe:   *puts on riot gear*
Mike: Why does your riot gear look like a strapless dress, Joe?

Jason is Paula, Mike is Simon and the subject is... The Deal or No Deal Engagement Show

Jason B: I think you can handle that :)
Joe:   I think you're insane.  :-P
Jason B: (in Paula Voice)
Chico:  HA!
Jason B: I think that that man and that woman showed true commitment by getting engaged on that show. How wonderful it was for them to seal their love in front of 18 million people. And Howie looked great in that suit and the ring was gorgeous. Love is wonderful.
Chico:  *applause*
Mike: Paula, you ignorant slut.
Joe:   ROFLMAO
Mike: The engagement thing was used as a lure to draw viewers to watch that show.
Joe:   I should've known that was coming.
Mike: They've gone from a Hummer to a pony to an engagement. It's just a ploy to get viewers.  It's getting old and lame. Of course, *I* would never do that on my show.
Jason B: Don't care about young love, Simon?
Mike: I would never get stars on my show to boost ratings (Elton John, Rod Stewart, Stevie Wonder). I have more tact than using gimmicks to get viewers.  Young love?  What do you know about young love, Paula?  The last time you saw love, there was a civil war going on. You knew Abraham Lincoln as a kid.
Joe:   More proof that Paula is a MILF.  :D
Mike:   If you're into raisins, Joe.  More wrinkles than a box of Sunmaids.
Joe:   Four MILFs: Paula, Meredith Viera, Vanna White, Marg Helgenberger.  :D

(AIRHORN)

Jason B: Great stuff Mike.
Gordon: Good start, Next up.

Chico is Paula. Joe is Simon and the subject is... The Re-emergence of Super Millionaire on ABC

Chico:  I think it can happen. The demand is there for a Deal-killer, and what better deal-killer than the original king of the modern day game shows? I LOVE IT! I LOVE REGIS! I LOVE THE LIFELINES!!!111
Joe:   Regis is a lovely man...FOR ME TO POOP ON! Super Millionaire is dead, at least in terms of being on ABC.  They have become so desperate (no pun intended) to avoid airing game shows that they've left their biggest property open...and it looks now like it's gone from ABC for good.
Chico:  Oh come on. I thought you took a pill for that. I'm ready to see it elsewhere. I'm just ready to see it.
Joe:   Eventually we will.  But not on ABC.

(AIRHORN)

Chico:  Oh, Joe, you're such a pill.
Gordon: Heh.
Chico:  I had to say that :)
Jason B: Got it.
Gordon: Cool. Next one -

Joe is Paula, Jason is Simon and the subject is... The Professional Gaming League - The new video gaming league to seen show up on USA Network

Joe:   Are you drunk or are picking the stuff I've barely heard about on purpose?  :-P
Gordon: I don't think there's any current stuff that you have heard of, Joe.
Joe:   That's what I get for working nights.  :D
Gordon: Now go say nice things about the possibility of seeing a video game league on television.
Mike: Joe:  Does not compute...does not compute...*boom*
Joe:   Danger!  Danger, Will Robinson! It'll let the palefaced game addicts of the world get some TV time.
Gordon: It's a good thing we are not playing this for points. Jason, please dismantle Joe.
Joe:   Yes, please.  :D
Jason B: Paula, you really want to give the stoner, virgins who live with their mother face time. These professional gamers have no social skills, and to watch video games would be like watching an endless loop of William Hung. If they played that at Guantanamo Bay, all the terrorists would convince.
Joe: ROFLMAO
Jason B: Watching video gamers compete is as fun as watching paint dry.

(AIRHORN)

Gordon: That's enough punishment on Joe right now.
Jason B: Ok.
Chico:  Do I get to be Simon now?

Mike is Paula, Chico is Simon...

Chico:  Hurray!

And the subject is... College Champion Nico Martinez's chances in the upcoming Jeopardy Tournament of Champions

Mike: Ooooh, Nico...  He's such a sweetie and is so smart and talented.  I say he's going to Culver City. He deserves to be in the Tournament of Champions because he deserves it...
Chico:  Not a chance.
Mike: SHUT UP YOU BRIT BRUTE! DON'T INTERRUPT A LADY!
Chico:  No question he deserves it.
Mike: Now as I was saying.
Gordon: The fact that Mike called Nico Martinez a sweetie disturbs me on many levels.
Mike: I'm doing this as Paula, no?
Gordon: Yes you are
Mike: So I need to do this from her point of view.
Gordon: Do you also want to bed him as well?
Mike: ...
Chico:  *whaps Gordon*
Gordon: That's probably something that Simon would do. Ow.
Chico: Continue, Mike.
Mike: He won his tournament.  He deserves to play with the big boys for the big money.
Chico:  Might I interject here.
Mike: But of course.
Chico:  No question or doubt he deserves to play. But he'll be eaten alive in his prelim. Maria Wenglinsky, David Madden, Ken Jennings, even Bob Mesko will have their way with him. Nico's just a lamb being led to the slaughter.
Mike: But haven't college champs won in the past?  Who's to say he won't pull off a major upset? George Mason.
Chico:  And where's George Mason now? They didn't play for the title, did they?
Mike: Where was UNC?
Chico:  We're not talking about them.
Mike: But did they make it to the Final Four?
Chico:  We're talking about Stanford and their entry, and he doesn't stand a chance in hell.
Mike: Nobody expected them to win one game, let alone 4.
Chico:  ... No chance in hell. The big boys are going to tear him apart.
Mike: Nobody expects Nico to win one game.  He *could* (heavy emphasis on could) win more than one, if not the whole thing.
Chico:  No chance.

(AIRHORN)

Chico:  ... that was fun, wasn't it?
Gordon: I liked it. Next one...

Joe is Paula, Mike is Simon, and the subject is... Temptation on US shores

Jason B: There you go.
Joe:   HAAAAAA! (Took you long enough.)
Gordon: I can't make every subject on Temptation
Joe:   Temptation is one of the few game shows that hits every aspect we game show fans love - fast action, suspense, humor, excitement, big money. It's only a matter of time until Fremantle finally realizes that it belongs back home in the U.S.
Mike: But what percentage of the population are big game show fans--0.1%?  Those aren't good numbers.
Joe:   A good marketing campaign will get the show into the non-fan's brain.
Mike: Also, the last time it was on the air was 17 years ago in the daytime.  Do you think it has a fighting chance against today's afternoon fare, like Oprah, Dr. Phil, Judge Judy, and Ellen?
Joe:   With the right time slots, and good marketing, it would be a huge hit for Fremantle.
Mike: Remember what happened to the last two shows which were aimed for a daytime/afternoon audience--Pyramid and Weakest Link?
Joe:   Why put it on in the afternoons?  Why not in primetime?
Mike: Two seasons or less and done, and in many places, it aired in the middle of the night.  Is that what you want to happen to your dear Temptation?
Joe:   Pair it with Family Feud.  A perfect combo.
Mike: No way.  Feud and Temptation don't mix, just like Paula and Simon don't.
Joe:   Why not?  The easy, play along game, paired with the fast action big money game.
Mike: One is very cerebral while the other isn't.
Joe:   EXACTLY.  They compliment each other.
Mike: No they don't. And it wouldn't work in primetime. It might work against the J!/Wheel hour, but with what success?
Joe:   Yes they do.  Start with the heavy brain power, then go to the lighter stuff. Just like the J!/Wheel hour. Who knows?  Maybe it would knock them out of the box at last.
Mike: If I was to schedule this, I'd put Feud first and build an audience into Temptation.

(AIRHORN)

Gordon: This is fun. Final one

Chico is Paula, Jason is Simon, and the subject is... Wilmer Valderrama's Game Show Hosting Career

Chico:  I think he's got a lot going for him. He's just adorable. He's a perfect fit for the show he created, which is obvious, and people just know him. He's playing to his audience, and that's  a good thing. If he can stick to that.
Gordon: Would you bed him, Paula?
Chico:  I'm sure Paula would, yes. Me? No. Dancearound! :)
Jason B: Wilmer is about as Gangsta as I am. He comes rolling in in his $125,000 Aston Martin DB9 and his escalade. Paula, his hosting skills are minimal.
Chico:  About as minimal as your judging skills! I say he's absolutely great *jumps*
Jason B: Have you ever said one critical thing in the 5 years you have been here?
Chico:  Have you ever said anything nice in the 5 years YOU'VE been here?
Jason B: Yes. I have. And if you watch the tapes you would see that instead of doing things you shouldn't.
Chico:  And you weren't?
Jason B: I am clean as the driven snow my dear. I am not always on the happy fuel.

(AIRHORN)

Gordon: You can see why we are not playing this for points. Now kids, before we get lawsuits brewing, let's stop and play nice in the sandbox.
Mike: Thank you for saving the best for last...not the topic, the dialogue.
Chico:  Anytime. On that note, it's time for one more break before the Big Finish!

(Sponsored by Yo Mamba. The finest Snake Trainers around the world insult each other by making fun of the other person;s reptiles. But be careful - these insults have bite!)

Chico:  Ouch!
Jason B: Indeed.
Chico:  Speaking of something with bite, it's Big Finish time! Idol... Who's leaving?
Jason B: I am going with Chris in a huge upset.
Gordon: Paris is burning - and leaving.
Chico:  I don't think so. I think Elliott. He's on borrowed time. Three-way-split. A rarity. Deal or No Deal takes the summer off. good deal?
Jason B: Very good deal. It will  keep the anticipation huge.
Mike: Yes.  Overexposure would not be good, especially if a syndie version is coming in Fall '07.
Jason B: To add to that question...where does NBC place it next fall?
Chico:  I say stick to what gotcher there. Monday at 8.
Joe:   Very good deal.
Mike: I'd like to see Monday and Tuesday, or Monday and Friday.
Jason B: I like Monday and Friday.
Gordon: I think it stays in the Mon/Fri 8 pm slot. Don't mess with a good thing
Chico:  That's right.
Jason B: Monday and Friday gives it the best ratings.
Mike: Tuesday's a hole that could use patching up.  Surely Dateline will be on one of those nights.
Chico:  Speaking of patching up. Sensei Bruce had a bowel obstruction on Survivor last week and gets medevac'ed. Will he make it to jury in time?
Mike: Yikes.
Jason B: Ow.
Chico:  Yikes indeed.
Gordon: He should. Stomach ailments aren't awful
Mike: One of my relatives is currently in the hospital with the same thing.  Not fun.
Chico:  Our best to your relative.
Mike: Much appreciated.
Gordon: Yes - please feel better soon. What do we have for the mail?
Joe:   MAIL TIME!
Chico:  We have mail from David Howell. Thanks, David!
Mike: Yay David!
Chico:  He of the Bother's Bar DOND page.
Jason B: Yay England!
Mike: Yay UK Deal too

Mike: I'll have to ask David for an air date.  I have all of this month's Deals burned to CD.

Mike: Yes, he's right.  I think there is currently a three-week drought on Een Tegen 100 without a cash winner.
Jason B: Thank you David. And Cheryl was amazing.
Mike: There was an episode with 100 sets of twins, where one set of twins won one car per person.
Chico:  Explain what Een Tegen 100 entails, Mike.
Mike: Een Tegen 100 (in English, 1 Versus 100 or 1 Against 100) is a Q&A show. One person battles 100 audience members in a multiple choice game. A question is given.  If the contestant gets it right, that person wins (# of contestants who missed) * (50000/# of contestants who played that question). 50000 euros, that is. However, if the main contestant misses, they are out.  They win nothing. There are 3 escapes, if you are unsure about a question.
Jason B: High risk, high reward.
Mike: You give up 25% of your money, then 50%, then 75% There's also a doubler you can play on one question. The largest possible win is about 310,000 euros.
Chico:  Wowzers.
Mike: The average win is about 110,000 euros. It's a compelling show.
Chico:  And there has been a drought.
Mike: 3 weeks at least, outside of the two cars.
Chico:  I don't imagine it being too hard to play... I'm guessing it is, though.
Mike: Then again, it's feasible that a seven-episode run of Miljoenenjacht could produce no more than 100,000 euros won. It's a multiple choice quiz, essentially. The amount for each question gets a little sticky, but it's a good show.
Chico:  I oughta go torrent it. If there is indeed a torrent.
Mike: For those out in Internetland, you can watch the show off of Talpa's web site every Sunday around 3:30 PM Eastern. Or you can find an archive of previous shows on Talpa's site.
Chico:  and if legal is watching, I ought not to torrent. I should be ashamed of myself!
Jason B: Bad Chico
Chico:  *whaps self*
Mike: Go to their web site archive and do the legal thing, Chico.
Joe:   :-P
Chico: Okay. Doing the legal thing. Alright that's it. We hope we answered all of your Millionaire questions. And if you have more, you can fire an e-mail over to wlti@gameshownewsnet.com. Big thanks to Mike, Jason, Alex, Jason, Travis, Joe... I think there's a third Jason in there somewhere. For Gordon Pepper and everyone at Game Show Newsnet, I'm Chico Alexander...
Gordon: And I'm Gordon Pepper, and until next time... GAAAAAAAAAME OVER!
Joe: Spread the love, gents.