Episode 26.18 - Lessons Learned
May 30
Jason:
ROFL
Gordon: I surprised we haven't seen that on the air yet.
Jason: Me neither
Gordon: Welcome back to our Spring Season Finale episode. And what better way to
finish it off than some zingers.
Chico: You know how it is. News story is missing that certain je ne sais quoi.
You provide the punchline.
Jason: Ready :)
Gordon: Like what, Chico?
Chico: For example...
Friday's
Let's Make a Deal episode was a first of its kind, allowing the audience to
determine everything that went on.
Chico: The zinger on my end would be... "Proving once and for all that DEAL-mocracy
works."
Jason: Why didn't they choose Tiffany Coyne in a bikini?
Gordon: if we put the actual Senate in here, the one hour show would be a 3
hour, 5 day a week event.
Chico: And that's barring filibusters.
Jason: True
Chico: See how that works?
Jason: Got it.
Gordon: Got it. Next one...
Love
in the Wild was pushed back from June 1 to June 29.
Jason: Speidi is laughing at this :)
Chico: The deadliest case of jungle fever imaginable.
Gordon: The search for love is almost as elusive as a search for a hit on NBC.
Jason: WIn.
Chico: That doesn't have the word "Office" in it.
Jason: Nods.
Gordon: Um - even with Office in it.
Chico: Fair enough. Next...
Who Wants to Be a Millionaire is expected to launch a similar venture
with Fox Business and a trip to Fort Knox.
Gordon: Cause that's the closest they'll get to the money.
Chico: NO MONEY FOR YOU.
Jason: Actually, Buena Vista is actually trying to steal the gold from Fort Knox
to pay off the settlement from last year's court case.
Chico: OH! Nice one, Jason!
Gordon: Next one...
Kara
DioGuardi gets a second series from Bravo about her life.
Chico: To be followed shortly by a documentary about sleeping.
Jason: The working title, "Whiny Jealous ***** who got booted from Idol for
being a no talent hack."
Gordon: It will be airing at 11pm to cure people's insomnia.
Chico: People, have we learned NOTHING from Hey, Paula!?
Jason: Seriously, she was the LEAST likeable Idol Judge...why do we want a show
about her?
Chico: Because she looks good in a two-piece.
Jason: Banging :)
Gordon: Next one...
Mark
Burnett's next TV project... a mini-series based on the Bible.
Jason: Hopefully, we don't get things "G-d has spoken", or "You're Raptured."
Chico: Please please please for the love of G-d let it not be a live-action
version of "The Flying House".
Gordon: It's called 1,000 ways to be leave a history game show. Turned into a
pillar of salt, being exposed to the 10 plagues of Egypt, forced to see
Burnett's Pirate Master until mercifully eaten by a giant whale...
Jason: ROFL
Chico: You forgot getting stoned.
Gordon: That happens DURING the show.
Jason: Which way? :)
Gordon: All ways. Last one...
Ashley
Hebert is the latest Bachelorette.
Chico: And you know what that means... it means we have 10 breakdowns, three men
who are there "for the wrong reasons", a few exposed skeletons on both ends, an
awkward phone call, and an overbloated finale away from the inevitable breakup.
Jason: She is 15 minutes away from being the next...forgettable name or
forgettable face.
Gordon: And in 3 months, she can go out and have a real marriage - with no one
she met on the show. Go get her, Chico.
Chico: Hey.... Bald men in scrubs are sexy.
Jason: Amen :)
Gordon: So while Chico is planning his next move, we'll go to break.
Chico: When we come back... Are we going to hit the super buzzers or the super
scrubbers? Push or Flush after the break on WLTI.
(Brought to you by Game Show Winner's Wives. Sure you've seen basketball
players and football players wives, but this is drama because these ladies have
brains - and a limited budget. DRAMA!)
Chico:
There's actually a story behind that. Let's just say if you're going to be on a
big money game show and you are currently in the midst of a nasty divorce...
make sure your prenup is up to date.
Gordon: Very true. The money you save may be your own.
Jason: Really now? :)
Chico: Because when she leaves your ass, she's gon' leave with half.
Jason: YEAH!
Chico: Okay, speaking of something nasty... It's Pushy Flushy time!
Gordon: Well not always nasty, but it has potential to be.
Jason: I have my plunger.
Chico: Okay, we have nine shows this week.... and 10 next week... and 10 the
week after that. But first, the nine...
|
THE BACHELORETTE
ABC - 8p ET Mondays |
CHICO |
GORDON |
JASON |
PUSH |
PUSH |
PASTRY |
PUSH |
Chico:
Obviously it's a push.
Jason: Have to push this. It's ratings gold. Quality be damned. Ladies love the
show. PUSH.
Chico: I mean, people with brains are in the minority here.
Gordon: It's going to be a hit again, with chock full of drama. But I'm not
pushing this. Pastry.
Chico: Gordon pastries. Defiantly almost. Next...
|
SO YOU THINK YOU CAN DANCE
Fox - 8p ET Wednesdays & Thursdays |
CHICO |
GORDON |
JASON |
PUSH |
PASTRY |
PASTRY |
PUSH |
Jason:
Again...monster ratings in the place where it should be. PUSH
Chico: Pastry. Even though the crowd is starting to trickle back... I just never
got into it. Even IF Mary Murphy's back.
Gordon: Pastry. I want to see a recreation. It's solid, but I don't like the
all-stars.
Chico: Right on. Next...
|
PLATINUM HIT
Bravo - 10p ET Mondays |
CHICO |
GORDON |
JASON |
FLUSH |
FLUSH |
JIGGLE |
FLUSH |
Chico: Jewel
hosts... but who cares? Kara DioGuardi's going to end up stinking up the joint.
FLUSH.
Jason: Sorry Kara, people don't want to see you or the singers sing the song
they write. FLUSH
Gordon: Jiggle. I like the concept. I'm scared about the execution and nepotism.
I'll give it the benefit of the doubt until I see it for myself, but I'm
concerned.
Chico: Something tells me the platinum's going to rust quickly
Gordon: Next?
Chico: Next..
|
AMERICA'S GOT TALENT
NBC - 9p ET Tuesdays & Wednesdays |
CHICO |
GORDON |
JASON |
PASTRY |
PUSH |
JIGGLE |
PASTRY |
Chico: If I
may quote the promo..."Bring on the talent!" PUSH!
Jason: Oh no. PASTRY. America's Got Talent has become AI Lite. Which Hot Guy
With Guitar will win this season? Sorry.
Chico: Yes, but it's about the journey, and it's going to be an awesome one.
Jason: Says you.
Chico: Says me and everyone else who made it the #1 show of the summer five
summers running.
Jason: Just because it's #1 doesn't make the people making the singer win good.
Gordon: If I may be even more cynical...Jiggle. It's America's Got Singers who
have a sob story to tell and who want to go to Vegas if only to flame out after
3 months. At least on Idol. you have some success stories. Who won AGT last
year?
Jason: Kevin Skinner.
Gordon: BTW, Kevin Skinner won SEASON FOUR. He did NOT win last year.
Chico: I don't remember who won season five. And no, Kevin's not doing anything
right now.
Gordon: How's Bianca Ryan doing?
Chico: Who?
Gordon: Neil E Boyd?
Chico: Who?
Jason: The only success is one Terry Fator. Selling out at the Mirage. And what
does he do?
Chico: He's a singing ventriloquist. Or a ventriloquisting singer.
Gordon: BTW, last year's winner was Michael Grimm. Hot guy with Keyboard (TM)
Jason: Right.
Chico: Ah. He's not doing anything either, is he?
Gordon: He just released a new album on May 17th. I'm guessing you haven't heard
much by way of advertising.
Chico: About as much as I've heard of the dude from Glee's new album.
Gordon: Maybe we'll hear something about it this week and he'll get a push. Too
soon to tell.
Chico: Oh. I saw that on a Best Buy ad. Didn't make the connection. Anyway, next
one..
|
FOOD NETWORK STAR
Food - 9p ET Sunday |
CHICO |
GORDON |
JASON |
PUSH |
PUSH |
PUSH |
PASTRY |
Chico: The
show that gave us Guy Fieri.
Jason: I have to PASTRY this. The show is still moving in the direction I want
it to, but you don't have to win this to be a winner. PASTRY.
Gordon: Push. The show does what it's supposed to, which is ferret out new
talent. Looking forward to what more it can bring to the party.
Chico: I'm going to go with... Gordon. They're heading into a good direction,
and Giada De Laurentiis is a great addition to an already winning franchise.
That's like automatic right there.
Gordon: Next one?
|
BAGGAGE
GSN - June 6 |
CHICO |
GORDON |
JASON |
PUSH |
PUSH |
PUSH |
PUSH |
Jason: The
studs of the 21st Century. PUSH HARD.
Chico: Big PUSH, though the kiss-offs-of-death are starting to grate.
Gordon: It's still the cash cow for GSN, big time. PUSH
Chico: So for the first time in this round of Push or Flush...(Final
Fantasy Victory) That sounds soooo good...
Gordon: Next one?
Chico: Next one...
|
LINGO
GSN - June 6 |
CHICO |
GORDON |
JASON |
PASTRY |
PASTRY |
PUSH |
FLUSH |
Gordon: I'm
going to push this. It added some mainstream juice to it.
Jason: I wish I was here last week. FLUSH HARD. The clues are awful, Bill
Engvall is terrible and the contestants suck.
Chico: I'm going to PASTRY. It's a great game at its heart. Bill Engvall's going
to grow as host. But there are some things that are going to get old quickly.
Gordon: We're all over the place on this one.
Jason: Because it isn't the show we know.
Gordon: It isn't. But you can't review a show saying 'Well, it's not what it
was', You have to judge it on its own merits.
Jason: I saw the screener and disliked it from moment one.
Gordon: Next one?
|
MASTERCHEF
Fox - June 6 |
CHICO |
GORDON |
JASON |
PUSH |
PUSH |
PUSH |
PUSH |
Jason: My
favorite show from last summer. PUSH.
Chico: Good show. Good solid production. PUSH.
Gordon: It's good. I'm only worried about cooking overexposure, but Push (Final
Fantasy Victory)
Chico: Finally this week...
|
THE GLEE PROJECT
Oxygen - June 12 |
CHICO |
GORDON |
JASON |
FLUSH |
FLUSH |
JIGGLE |
FLUSH |
Chico: Did we
mention that Jason was a Gleek?
Gordon: Then he'll enjoy this. I won't, as we're auditioning not for a part,
mind you, but a CAMEO. Really? I remember this when it was for High School
Musical and it reeked then. FLUSH.
Chico: It reeks then and it reeks now. FLUSH.
Jason: I am not a gleek...but for a cameo...agree. FLUSH.
Gordon: The only Gleek I like was when he's hanging out with Zan and Jana
Chico: I'm a gleek. But not as big as I was during season one when it was MINE
ALL MINE YOU LITTLE FANBOY MONSTERS. So we end this round of Push or Flush with
a stinky clog.
Jason: ONE
Gordon: TWO
Chico: THREE!
Jason: PLUNGE!!!!
Gordon: WEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE (toilet
flushing)
Jason: Nasty
Gordon: (Opens a window) I can still hear them singing from the toilet.
Chico: Is it overproduced?
Gordon: I think the toilet lid is lip synching along.
Chico: Wonderful.
Jason: Lovely
Chico: Okay, Speed Round after the three of us practice our largesse
overproduced harmonies.
(Brought to you by Grizzlebees Latin Memorial Day Special. We have Platuinm
Platinos, which are always hits, which you can combine with America's Got
Tomatillos for a nice salad. Add some Best in Smoked Quesadillas and some Limon
Meringue in the Wild for dessert and it's Cinco De Mayo - only 3 weeks late.
That's Grizzlebees - you'll wish you had less fun!)
Jason: LOL
Gordon: That's good eats.
Chico: Te gustarνa tener menos divertido!
Jason: Ole :)
Gordon: Si Si. Donde esta el Roundo Rapido?
Chico: Aqui...ahora... El ROUND RAPIDO! Platinum Hit. Watching?
Gordon: Watching? Yes. Liking? Probably not. AGT: Do we see the winner this
week?
Jason: NO.
Chico: Unless it involves music somewhat, no.
Gordon: Maybe. Unlike other talent shows, they'll show everything, so we will
see the winner during the intro shows somewhere.
Chico: Do we see the winner of SYTYCD this week?
Gordon: No. That we won't see until Vegas.
Jason: Nope.
Gordon: Do we get any mail?
Chico: We DO! It's from ... the Stat Boy.
VIEWER
MAIL |
|
Jason Wuthrich
Hey, C&G, how does Block's special crow recipe taste? |
|
Gordon: You
know Stat Boy, from the avalanche of predictions that he gets wrong (that we
have documented here time after time), Mr. Block will eventually find one golden
snowball.
Jason: Thanks heaps.
Gordon: De Nada.
VIEWER
MAIL |
|
Jason Wuthrich
Anyway, Chico, you inquired about the last time the network trotted out
original scripted material on Saturday nights. A little wikisearch tells me
that the last season that happened was 2003-04 when ABC aired "L.A. Dragnet"
and CBS countered with "Hack" and "The District". Aside from a failed
revival of "Hunter," NBC gave up on Saturdays in 2000. To quote from "The
Rocky Horror Picture Show," whatever happened to Saturday night? |
|
Jason: Very
cool stats :)
Gordon: Very. We're hoping we can get Saturday back to what it used to be.
Chico: And we're hoping that this is the right direction. Then we can get the
family back to playing stuff.
Gordon: Any other emails?
Chico: Nope. But we have some answers! We asked you what show you're looking
forward to this summer. Matthew Behrman said...
|
|
Matthew Behrman
Wipeout again. |
|
Chico:
Of course. You know they have a new sideline person, but I don't know who it is
yet.
Gordon: Does it really matter who it is?
Chico: As long as it's of equal or greater hotness to Jill Wagner, minus the
obvious State connection. :-) Meanwhile, Antonio Gray has THIS...
|
|
Antonio Gray
It's
not a game show, but I'm looking forward to The Challenge on MTV |
|
Gordon: I
would say though it's not a studio game show, The Challenge is definately a game
show.
Chico: It's a hardcore game show.
Gordon: it is. and with that, we end the show. Special thanks to Jason Block for
joining us this week.
Jason: Thank you very much! And to all the soldiers who made the ultimate
sacrifice thank you
Gordon: Since we liked the responses, we'll keep this question up again for
another week.
Chico: Okay, there it is...
|
|
WLTI's BIG FACEBOOK
QUESTION
It's summertime! What game shows
are you looking forward to and why should we be looking forward to them as
well? |
|
Gordon: We
bring up the bard next week. But for this week, for all of us, this is Gordon,
saying Game Over and Spread the Love.
Chico: :-)
|