Episode 26.11 - Shred It
March 28

Chico: Hey, This is Chico Alexander, and if you're anything like me, your bracket is over there... *points to trash can*
Gordon: This is Gordon Pepper, and I must mention a few things. #1. I present to you, as this is an annual thing...The Hamtaro Shredder.
Chico: Thank you. *shreds* ... Recycling and all...
Jason: (shreds my bracket)
Gordon: #2. Big Bored please?

Gordon: The Subject: Chico is a sell out.
Chico: (Bleep) you, too.
Gordon: Now Chico, who did you have in the Ohio State region advancing to the Final Four?
Chico: Ohio State.
Gordon: How did Ohio State do last night?
Chico: Well enough to cause friction between my brother (who's also a UNC fan) and my sister-in-law (who's a fan of Kentucky)
Gordon: Who did I have in that region going to the Final 4?
Chico: North Carolina.
Gordon: YOUR ALMA MATER North Carolina.
Chico: Which was totally against every fiber of your being.
Jason: But he realized how good the team was :)
Chico: I know it killed you to go that route.
Gordon: Well no, since I'm cynical, heartless and ruthless, but this could kill you. Should North Carolina win...I beat you.
Jason: BAHAHAHA
Gordon: So, and this may be the VERY first and ONLY time I say this....GO TARHEELS!
Jason: Hell hath frozen over.
Chico: But if the Heels win... I'll be too ecstatic to give a crap, so...
Gordon: Oh no, I don't want them to win the whole thing. Just the next game :D
Chico: Again, if the Heels win... I will be too ecstatic to give a crap. I may not beat you, but I'll definitely beat my sister-in-law.  And in the end, what's more important?
Jason: Friendship and shredded brackets
Chico: We'll be shredding a few more things this week, because from somewhere in America, the Shred It edition of WLTI... is... ON!
Jason: WOO HOO!
Chico: This week, alongside Gordon and myself, our always special guest Mr. Jason in the building...
Jason: Yo. Hi there.
Chico: Great to have ya. As always.
Jason: Great to be here. What's first?
Chico: First up... Randy Jackson doesn't want you to finish.



Chico: Last week, here's what happened in case you were watching basketball. Motown was the theme... No one sucked outright, so the vote was up for grabs. When the votes were counted, your bottom three... Thia Megia, Stefano Langone, and Casey Abrams. Casey was revealed to have the lowest vote totals, and he went 30 seconds into singing for his life, when Randy Jackson had a Kanye West moment - interrupted Casey in the middle of "I Don't Need No Doctor" to tell him, 'we're going to use the save this week'. Meanwhile, we're all like... WHAT?!
Jason: Casey was in shock, and we are wondering what Drugs the judges were on. Because I had Casey in my bottom three.
Chico: Now, first of all, let me say... I had Casey in the bottom three as well... He was not one of my picks to win. And that said... this crap wouldn't have happened if Simon was still around. He would've said "You can't win this show, we're not going to use the save."
Gordon: I think the drugs the judges - and the producers - were on... were green. May I put on my cynical bastard hat on for a second?
Jason: You have it with you?
Gordon: I carry it all the time.
Chico: Go ahead.
Gordon: First of all, I had no problem with the bottom 3.
Chico: Understandable
Jason: Neither did I.
Gordon: All 3 of them deserved it, and Haley...has nice breasts, so she shouldn't be leaving the stage this early.
Jason: ROFL. But Casey was in my bottom two.
Chico: Mine as well.
Gordon: He was in my bottom 2 also. So did he deserve to go? Yes.
Jason: Without question
Gordon: Is he going to win the competition? Not a chance.
Chico: Of course.
Jason: No chance in hell
Gordon: But...how did that Idol tour last year do?
Chico: Well, it sucked. Much like the whole season.
Jason: Half empty arenas. Cancelled dates
Gordon: So what's the best way to generate interest in a tour with 10 people in it?
Chico: Expand the geographic swath. Because, you know, it's not enough to just have the talent be better than it was last year (and it is).
Gordon: The best way to expand the swath, is to add interest for said geographic regions, and the best way to do that is...to add another person to the tour.
Chico: A-ha.
Gordon: Not only do I think the save was predetermined, I think it was going to be used in the Top 11, regardless of who was set to be eliminated. I think the whole week was a set up from the word go.
Chico: Well what about next week, because we're going back to the 80s, which, if you ask me, was one giant set up. I mean, think about it... We had "My Idol Week".... "Songs from the Year You were Born Week".... and then "Motown". Now... "the 80s" Another freeweek.
Gordon: Well once again, it's going to be all about song choice and performance. The Danger about using the Save this early is that fan bases aren't established yet.
Chico: Exactly.
Jason: Right.
Chico: And the one week where people are challenged turns out to be a non-scoring round. That's a giant finger in our faces, don't you think?
Gordon: Exactly. Nigel Lythgoe made a mention to it earlier on this year that the contestants would be able to safely stay in their genre more often this time around. It looks like he's fulfilling that promise.
Jason: And I will say it here...Casey goes bye bye next week.
Gordon: I don't think Casey goes bye bye
Jason: Why not?
Gordon: People will vote for him.
Jason: Oh right.
Chico: Oh yeah. People will see he's in trouble.
Gordon: I think Haley is going to be in a world of trouble next week.
Jason: You ain't kidding. Thia too.
Gordon: No. Thia will be safe for the same reason.
Chico: Haley has yet to establish herself. Thia... is going to choose another ballad. If I had to choose a third... Naima.
Gordon: Thia will sing her way out of it. If I'm Naima, I'm concerned too.
Jason: She can't dance her way out of it
Chico: She has her fans, but last week... I've been covering Idol since season 3... I've been singing since 1989... so... 22 years of musical experience, and that is the most indulgent thing I've ever seen.
Gordon: And you could see a shock in the bottom also.
Chico: Wouldn't surprise me to see a shock. Then again, nothing surprises me anymore.
Jason: Nope. But I will say this. Idol has done a lot to make it a more "must watch show" - better talent and yes...manufactured drama.
Gordon: What about Matt getting back into the game?



Jason: Matt is a monster
Chico: Matt is on FIRE!
Gordon: He's picking off contenders left and right. The latest victim is Krista. Her teammate Stephanie will be joining her next week.
Chico: And how did this happen? Pretty much like we pegged it last week. Stephanie was on the outs... and Rob took advantage of that. In fact, it was such a non-event, Stephanie leaving, that it's eclipsed by Phillip being paranoid about catching Rob and Grant with the Idol clue. ... and yet he remained quiet about it.
Gordon: Philip is starting to be dangerous. If Rob's group goes back to Tribal Council, Philip needs to go. Because if Matt gets back in the game (with his desire to get rid of Rob), Him, Andrea and Philip can grab some people from the other alliance and start a counter-alliance.
Jason: Philip is starting to go all loose cannon on everyone.
Chico: STARTING TO? QUE STARTING TO?
Jason: Ok...LOL
Chico: He done BEEN loose.
Gordon: Him and his pink underwear are deadly weapons.
Jason: Ew. But yeah. See what I also love is that while Russell didn't learn a thing, Rob is making a mastery of this game.
Gordon: Well yes and no. he needs to get rid of Philip.
Chico: There you go. Now it's a matter of how far the rest of the tribe will let him go. And by the rest of the tribe, i mean Phillip and whoever is on the outs at the time.
Jason: If he does that....?
Chico: His only shot at saving himself... Immunity.
Gordon: Mark my words, the longer Philip sticks around, the worse off Rob will be.
Chico: Let's see if Rob will figure that out. *he will*
Gordon: Let's see if anyone can figure out how to run a clean leg of the race.



Chico: Kent & Vyxsin found out in a hurry. They were saved by Cara & Jaime's trip up.
Jason: No. They saved themselves by U-Turning them.
Gordon: Well yes and yes. Kent and Vyxsin's U-Turn bailed them out, but Jaime and Cara never should have been trailing them to begin with.
Jason: That's true.
Gordon: And with the play by play, Mr. Chico.
Chico: Present. =p Okay, the leg starts with Kent & Vyxsin assessed a 30-minute penalty upon arriving at the "pit stop"... to be served at the NEXT Pit Stop if they arrive there. So there's that.
Jason: Right.
Chico: Now there's a train ride on this leg... and it's an equalizer point. If you watch the Race long enough, you know that there are certain times when things are open or closed, and whenever they're closed, the teams tend to bottleneck. So we're all on equal footing. Then comes the DOUBLE U Turn, where two teams can be set back.
Jason: Kent and Vyxsin did Cara and Jaime IN FRONT OF THEM. Serious COJONES. And then Cara and Jaime did the Globetrotters. They both had to do this Detour, a choice between Honor the Past and Embrace the Future. In Honor the Past, teams had to put on a traditional Tibetan outfit and then watch a theater troupe. Without having taken any notes, teams then had to go off-stage, and put a series of 15 dolls dressed up like the actors in the order of the procession on stage. If they got the right order, they would receive their clue. If not, they would have to start over. In Embrace the Future, teams had to put on safety gear and then bring three heavy boxes up to the roof of the China Great Wall Assets Management Company building. Once there, they had to help assemble a solar water heating system before they could receive their next clue.
Chico: Right. Later on in the leg, Kent & Vyxsin reveal their strategy, keep as much distance between them and the back as possible BECAUSE of that time penalty.
Jason: And another roadblock which got everyone close was this:
Chico: Building a dinosaur skeleton.
Jason: one team member had to assemble a life-size 20-foot model of a Dilophosaurus; a paleontologist could order them to stop construction if the model was structurally unsafe. When they had correctly assembled the dinosaur, they received their next clue.
Chico: ... I just said that =p
Jason: :P  But what happened was that the Trotters blew through the 2nd half of the detour and the skeleton. Karma is a you-know-what.
Chico: And she swings BOTH ways. They manage to catch up tot he Goths, and finish 6th to their 5th. So a great move by the Goths. And Cara & Jaime... well, they go bye-bye.
Jason: Because they didn't recognize which piece was the right one to switch
Chico: Right. So just a poor leg all around for the former cheerleaders. Didn't know their left from their right, they hit a driver (which I think you give up your first born for that), get u-turned and lose the race.  Horrible HORRIBLE leg.
Jason: Next week....India.
Gordon: Was there anyone that raced well that leg?
Chico: ... No, not really. Actually... Kent & Vyxsin did make up for last leg a bit. They raced a good enough leg.
Jason: And the Cowboys did ok. And the Trotters made up the U-Turn
Chico: Important thing to remember, that leg is over, now to concentrate on the next one. And with that, we're going to concentrate on this... Let's Dance.



Jason: (puts on Tuxedo)
Chico: *puts on sexy shirt* It's time to dance again.
Gordon: So far - we have no idea how they are doing.
Chico: Well, we do and we don't. We know who the judges like.. And we know who they DON'T.
Jason: Exactly. That means you Wendy and Mike
Chico: At the top of the heap, Ralph & Karina with 24, Kirstie & Maks with 23, and a tie for 21... Chelsea & Mark and Hines & Kym. The power of the NFL compels thee. Meanwhile, Tony Dovolani continues to be a piss-poor teacher, no surprise there... He and Wendy Williams aren't exactly on fire with 14. But the lowest of the low... Mike Catherwood (who?) and Lacey Schwimmer. They have 13. And when you look at the top of the board... I say, give it to the teachers. Maks & Kirstie have a LOT of chemistry... Karina is just an awesome teacher. What she had Ralph do with "Ain't That a Kick in the Head"... Perfect. Who had Ralph Macchio in the top 3? Oh wait! That was ME! I was RIGHT FOR ONCE!
Gordon: Well we don't know how right you are.
Jason: why do you say that?
Gordon: First of all, the audience counts as 50% of the vote.
Chico: And remember, the audience points is more of a ratio of how the vote went than anything.
Gordon: Not true at all. Ask Bristol Palin on that.
Jason: True
Gordon: #2. Less than half the people who got the highest total of votes during Week #1 won their season. So don't get too attached to Ralph.
Chico: Can you let me have this week?
Gordon: You mean before UNC fails in a massive heap and I post up a Kentucky Fried Tarheel commercial? Sure.
Chico: You can't post a commercial before they get beat. It's uncouth and well... mean and nasty. : =p
Gordon: Oh sure I can :)  As a matter of fact...we'll see something at the break :D
Chico: That wasn't a challenge, by the way.
Gordon: Too bad. You challenged.
Jason: ROFL
Chico: Sigh. Anyways, now the question... Who needs to perform NEXT week in order to save themselves? Because we have the points and we have the Jason-Block patented "Q rating" If you ask me, Psycho Mike is in the most danger.
Jason: Agreed. No help. No fan base.
Chico: And again... "WHO?!
Gordon: Well someone will join Niki Taylor out for a swim in the suck pond.



Chico: Gordon, what happened? I thought we were going to have drama and it turns out we don't. In fact, I believe Niki Taylor decided, rather than have Dionne Warwick call her a ... something we obviously can't print here... she was going to fall on her sword for the loss.
Gordon: Well, first of all, she is a paragon of supermodellness. She is a figure of stunning beauty. Second of all, she had a big zero to defend herself with. There was really no one else who she could blame. And you also have to remember - this is the same group that already had issues between Star Jones and Lisa Rinna. I don't think she wanted to deal with that.
Jason: The challenge was to market and sell RVs
Chico: Not only that, they had to create a pleasing camping experience. They were selling the image of camping.
Jason: Which I have done once or twice.
Chico: Same here.
Jason: Not that luxuriously, but yeah
Chico: Myrtle Beach is WONDERFUL for it. Just sayin'. Back to the play-by-play. Both went for the sell, but only Backbone was able to package it well enough. It helped that Jose Canseco can pitch a fastball and that John Rich had a guitar. JUST SAYING.
Jason: And Niki took the blame with class.
Chico: And her team took the loss also with class. Group hugs and everyone loses with honor ...
Gordon: Until the inevitable lawsuit
Chico: Right.
Gordon: You can see equivalent payouts on Jeopardy without the lawsuits.
Chico: We had a lot of MORONS this week... Now it's time for...


(Divided by 10...and then times 2)

Chico: This week we had not one, but TWO megachamps go to SPS and take the lot for almost a quarter million. Tom Kunzen had $133,402 going into Tuesday's match. He would go up against a former Millionaire player by the name of Megan Barnes.
Gordon: This is some really nice Jeopardy play by the 2 champs, for the most part.
Chico: Very nice.
Jason: No wonder she looked familiar.
Chico: Tuesday would be the only time they would meet... FOR NOW... MWAHAHAHAHAHAHAH!
Jason: (bows in appreciation)
Chico: Okay, let's go to the Final on Tuesday. The category.. Garments of the World. Here's the answer...

THE CUSTOM OF HIJAB, ARABIC FOR "VEILING", CAN INCLUDE THIS GARMENT, MENTIONED BY KIPLING.

Chico: No, the correct response is not "What is a ball gag shaped like France"
Gordon: Darn
Chico: Jason, you're first.
Jason: What is a burqa?
Chico: Gordon?
Gordon: What is a Chris Brown press conference?
Jason: ROFL
Chico: I'm sari?
Jason: Exactly.
Gordon: Well, as you know, Chris Brown is famous for making veiled comments.
Chico: Or avoiding them
Gordon: Ask Rihanna.
Chico: All together now...
Everyone: OH!
Gordon: Too soon?
Chico: Not soon enough.
Gordon: Hey we have one more Final Jeopardy question to go. I could get even worse ;)
Chico: It was a burqa. Tom said "What is a sari" I'm sari. I'm so sari. Megan gets burqa, and she can buy all the burqas she wants with $37,601. And with over $103,000 by Friday, she can buy the matching blouses as well. But then she runs into THIS. The category... PHILANTHROPY...

THE PINK PONY FUND...

Chico: Oh this isn't going to end well...

THE PINK PONY FUND, FOR BREAST CANCER & PREVENTION, IS A PHILANTHROPIC INITIATIVE OF THIS FASHION COMPANY.

Chico: Jason?
Jason: Who is Ralph Lauren?
Chico: And now for Captain Wrong's Answer. Gordon?
Gordon: What is HKNY: The Heidi Klum foundation for over-nourished models who are too healthy to walk the runway?
Jason: Oh man.
Gordon: Models who eat are people, too.
Chico: But how do you REALLY feel about Heidi Klum, G?
Gordon: It's all about HKNY
Chico: Okay, Jason's right. So is Megan, but in the end, who gives a rip, because Julie Ross Godar has vastly more money than she does at the end of Double J! and a greater advantage. She returns to defend Monday.
Gordon: I expect to see both players in the Tournament of Champions, by the way.
Jason: Me too.
Chico: Oh yeah. It's gonna happen. Speaking of Heidi Klum, you notice that Amanda also has pink fur. Isn't that precious?
Jason: Very much so
Chico: And she's a little... healthy. So that's a double.
Gordon: (Picks her up, smells her)...uh...have you seen where the Jelly donuts went to?
Jason: Um...no!
Gordon: Yeah. She's a little sticky.
Chico: ... no idea what you're talking about.. *licks fingers* ... okay maybe I had something to do with it
Gordon: CHICO!
Jason: Damn!
Chico: What, she was hungry and that was all I had at the time.
Gordon: So if UNC wins are you going to get her blueberry donuts with white frosting and turn her into a mascot?
Chico: No, just a pair of ram horns.  ... I can get one for you as well. Or you know, I can just send you another sweat shirt.
Gordon: No thank you. Roll that Beautiful Brani Footage.

(Doug: Live, local, and latebreaking... From the four corners of the globe to your frontal lobe, this is WLTI Brainvision News, and now here's Gordon Pepper, Chico Alexander, and the award-winning Brainvision News Team)

Chico: ... You know you loved that sweatshirt.
Gordon: Sure. I need good kindling for the past few snowstorms.
Chico: It was comfy...
Gordon: I can use the next one you send me as a bowling ball wiper.
Chico: Gross. Okay, let's get it started with a giant bat.
Jason: (hands Chico the Giant Bat)

GSN has just picked up Power of 10. It starts Monday at 7p, and will include two never before seen episodes.

Chico: I'm a fan of the show, of the scheduling.... not so much. I mean, there are only so many episodes - 18 at last count  -  And they want to run them all as a daily. Who is the monkey running GSN this week?
Jason: Cheetah :) He's from Accounting.
Chico: Of course. It seems like a placeholder for Drew Carey's Whose Line 3.0 if you ask me.
Gordon: It seems like a trial bubble run to a potential series, if you ask me.
Jason: Gordon is correct.
Gordon: That's the only reason why you'd do that - to see if the audience is there.
Jason: Power of 10 with a $100,000 jackpot.
Chico: I doubt it will be. I mean, the show is good, but the show is bigger than the game. SERIOUSLY. You're basically running Card Sharks without the cards.
Gordon: Then if the ratings are there, then you film that show while Drew Carey's WLIIA 3.0 is running. Card Sharks is a power staple on GSN. I'd be surprised if it doesn't get the ratings.
Chico: I have a greenlight as well. And it's a biggie.
Gordon: ok

The Hub released its upfront. "Family Game Night" is GO for season 2. Joining it: "Scrabble Showdown" with Justin Willman (Cupcake Wars) and "The Game of Life" with our buddy Frank Nicotero.

Chico: Good to see a fan working again.
Jason: This is HUGE for the HUB. They are making themselves a home for game shows. And if Nickelodeon can continue... who knows.
Gordon: It really is nice to see all this game show action going on.
Chico: AND they pick up the reruns of "Are You Smarter Than a 5th Grader" which gets...



Chico: ... this week.
Jason: AH! Along with Don't Forget the Lyrics.
Gordon: Are you smarter than a 5th Grade Zombie?
Chico: Probably.
Jason: Not a surprise.
Chico: Again, you don't drop 50 percent year to year and stick around.
Jason: But again, they just don't trust the public to watch once a day in one spot. Double pumping. Sad, actually
Gordon: But I do have shows that people in one spot.
Jason: Ok. Whatcha got

In this week's Datebook, Monday has Season 4 of Silent Library, while Wednesday has The Ultimate Fighter.

Chico: Love it.
Jason: Team Lesnar v. Team Dos Santos. I will WATCH this.
Chico: We'll talk more about those in TWO weeks. Not next week, but TWO weeks from now.
Jason: He is going to make these kids melt.
Chico: And Lesnar... perhaps more so.
Gordon: Maybe they will melt more people if they were fully loaded.
Chico: Maybe...
Jason: (HIC)

This week, if you have Facebook, you got a chance to play "Who Wants to Be a Millionaire."

Jason: Ah.
Chico: It's by Ludia, the same folks that gave us the Feud online... It's like the game (circa September 2010) in most aspects... The categories and the money are all randomized. And you're playing against 10 people at once. Only the highest scorer after 10 questions will get a shot at the million, which i think is pretty ingenious. What I don't like about it is that it's about as buggy as your run of the mill Manhattan hotel room. If you want to play the Classic Round, you have to invite a few of your friends to join in (and we all know how annoying that can be). Here's how you play the game; You get the 10 questions and for each one you get right, you get anywhere from $100 to $10,000. That amount is multiplied by the number of people who either get it wrong, time out, or fail to use one of their two jumps. And there's a bonus for FFF. Fastest Finger First. And continued play offers continual level ups. What that means... I don't know. But if you can get around the bugs, it's a good way to kill 10 minutes.
Jason: It's pretty good. Graphically clean. Nice questions.
Gordon: And hopefully smart people.
Jason: Yeah.
Gordon: Cause I got people here who wouldn't win the million.
Chico: *wheels in white board*

Are YOU Smarter than...Who Dares Wins host Tania Zetta, who gets was arrested Monday for obstructing police and public nuisance over an alleged disturbance at a Queensland nightclub.

Chico: Going global.... AND going postal.
Jason: Yipe.
Chico: Who dares drinks?
Gordon: I got drinks. Haterade.
Chico: CONSUME!
Jason: (cup down)

We start with Bret Michaels, who sues CBS and the Tonys for injuries that he feels led to his aneurysm.

Chico: Ouch.
Jason: Whoa. I smell out of court settlement.

Next up, we have George Lopez, who calls DWTS contestant Kristie Alley a fat pig. Alley counters by telling him to give back his kidney he got from his wife before he divorced her.

Chico: DAMN!
Jason: OUCH!
Chico: Okay, let's go on a trip to ... Taiwan.
Jason: Nice place
Chico: Very. Love to go there. Or WOULD love to go there.

Anyway, Endemol is suing producer Wang Chung (whose name is a coincidence), saying that their "Challenge 101" is, in form and facet, Endemol's "1 vs. 100".

Jason: I smell lawsuit
Chico: Forget the OOCS, this is going all the way?
Jason: oOCS?
Chico: Out of Court Settlement
Jason: I think so.
Chico: Now the show was cancelled in 2009, why bring it up now?
Jason: Who knows
Chico: Well, there you are.
Gordon: I think they can make more media hoes over it.
Chico: (plays "Pimpin' All Over the World")

In this week's Media Ho Report, Jordin Sparks loses weight, Alex Trebek goes College Play-By PLay, William Shatner turns 80, Tom Collichio has a baby, The Biggest Loser goes on a cruise (complete with trainers), John O'Hurley does Chicago, LaToya Jackson says that The Donald is a nice guy, Michael Lohan gets arrested, and Brad Womack won't do another season of the Bachelor (Chico must be very very disappointed)

Chico: Oh yeah. So disappointed.
Gordon: But none of them are the ho of the week.
Chico: Who've you got?
Gordon: I've got another it.
Chico: Okay It.
Gordon: The it...is the mansion that the American Idol finalists are staying in.
Chico: Wha?
Jason: Excuse me?
Gordon: ..cause it's haunted.
Jason: OOOOH :)
Chico: *plays Ghostbusters*
Jason: Who you gonna call?
Gordon: I don't know who they called, but I do know they all moved out of there. And those...Are your Hoes.
Chico: And that's BrainVision. Shut it down.
Jason: Shutting down....
Chico: Still to come, a world premiere game, but first... time to make a few playlists for our Songbook. This is WLTI. You give us 22 minutes, we'll give you a score of 22. Not quite the best, but good enough.
Gordon: And a warning not to do lifts on the next song.
Chico: For real. NO LIFTS!

(Brainvision has been brought to you by Traitor Tots! Enjoy these wonderful flakes of potatoes when you flake out on your own college alma mater. Traitor Tots goes perfectly as a side for Kentucky Fried Tar Heels. Rameses Done Right!)

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