Episode 26.14 - I Do What the Voices Tell Me
May 2

Gordon: This is Gordon Pepper, and Happy uno de Mayo!
Chico: AYAYAYAYAYAYAYA!!
Gordon: Now I know that you celebrate Cinco de Mayo
Chico: Right.
Gordon: But how do you celebrate Uno De Mayo?
Chico: One beer. Instead of, you know... five.
Gordon: And that's different than any other day...how?
Chico: It's a holiday :-)
Gordon: Ok then. Well we have people who probably need a lot of beer right now.
Chico: And people who probably.... don't. Let's do this. IT'S GAME TIME!
Gordon: So...from somewhere at Chico's Wet Bar, this week's episode of WLTI...is...on!
Chico: Welcome to the show. Thank you for being a part of our week and allowing us to be a part of yours.
Gordon: Chico and Gordon here and we will start with voices. And no, not the ones in either of our heads.
Chico: I got one. Gordon's got one.
Gordon: It's called 'The Voice'. It's a new show, where singers audition and judges can only judge based on the voice, and not the appearance of the singers.
Chico: And so far, people've been responding rather well to it. Chalk it to the judges or the talent, or to Mark Burnett's adept storytelling. I expected The Voice to be "The One 2.0". I left pleasantly disappointed in that regard.
Gordon: So here's how it goes. The celebrity coaches: Cee Lo Green, Blake Shelton, Christina Aguilera, and Adam Levine.. They are picking teams of eight singers.
Chico: Then in the battle stages (in a week or so), they'll cut the teams of eight down to four Then, it's straight on voting until the end of the show, where the Voice of America is crowned.
Gordon: We start with The Good.
Chico: First of al, they get rid of the crazy. Its crazy and it's also played out. Second: Seems like Mark Burnett knows how to deliver a good storyline, makes you want to root for the players.
Gordon: The one thing that I see a lot of here that I see nothing on Love Triangle (which of course is Chico's favorite show...)
Chico: Not as good as the Bachelor, dude.
Gordon: Maybe not...Is that they build all of the players out. Each one has a story. Even the judges have their own rivalries, and even though you have to side with one eventually, they are all made out as very likable. This is something that's severely lacking from American Idol.
Chico: American Idol: here's the singer. They sing. They're either in or out. The Voice: everyone has a story.
Gordon: Even the judges.
Chico: We know about everyone, except Carson Daly, but do we really NEED to know about him?
Gordon: Nope. No offense, Carson. And we also know some returning media ho offenders. The big one (no pun intended) being Frenchie Davis, a huge favorite for Idol 2. But even a show that's considered the new darling of NBC has some bad to go with it.
Chico: Well, there's Carson, who is... well, Carson. All of his hot buttered clog your arteries baritone droning gets in the way and puts you to sleep.
Gordon: I don't mind Carson as much as I mind round 2. We have 32 singers who get weeded down to 16 based on sing-offs. Everything is going to take a turn for the ugly and I wonder if it just wouldn't be better if America had a hand in this,
Chico: Actually, I think it is a bit innovative. And we've proven time and time again that if you give America the decision, it pretty much defeats the purpose of finding the best talent in America.
Gordon: I also wonder what it would be like without the excessive schmaltz and packaging. Though the judges vote on 'The Voice', America votes on 'The Package'. What would you think if all we heard were voices and nothing attached to them?
Chico: If we wanted to hear voices with nothing attached, we'd all be listening to the radio. Instead, it's on the TV. And if it's one thing I learned from watching talent shows, America is the nation's largest test group.
Gordon: We sure are. Lets get a grade on it.

	THE VOICE NBC - 9p ET Tuesdays
	GORDON	CHICO	AVERAGE-O-MATIC
	B+	A-	A-

Chico: Okay, grading it... It's a great innovative way to do a talent show, which after seeing Idol for so long, you clamor for. So I give it an A-.
Gordon: This show takes a little bit of a spin on the music talent genre. But more importantly, it addresses our complaints we have on Idol and fixes them. And most importantly, it gets it right. I can't grade on the rest of the format, but it's off to a very strong start and it has me hooked. B+. Now we have a second new offering. What do you think of Repo Games?
Chico: It's so trashy, it's almost entertaining. It's basically Jeopardy! meets Cops. It's a game show you DON'T want to be on. You have an actual order to have your car repo'd by two really large guys. BUT... If you answer three of their five questions correctly, they PAY your car off. Free and clear. "You don't pay, you might as well play."
Gordon: I want to start this time with the bad.
Chico: Let's start with the bad.
Gordon: The format, plain and cut, is as unoriginal and uncreative as you can get. Uncreative because it's 3 our of 5, which is lame. And unoriginal because MTV did the exact same thing over a decade ago with Trashed, with 'If you answer 2 out of 3 right, you keep your stuff. If you don't, it goes away'.
Chico: It's basically a show that came out of a conference room. No heart in the format whatsoever. Hey, everyone likes trivia! We need a reality show... Cops has already been done... How about repos? That's lunch! (Takes-a-smoke-from-a-lit-dollar-bill)
Gordon: The show's format sucks. However, now for the good. Despite that...it works. And here's why it works. Because it is Cops meets Repos meets game shows.
Chico: The contestants are... well, as uninhibited as it gets when it comes to this sort of thing.
Gordon: This and The Voice have one thing in common - the build up of characters. These are people that you want to see succeed or fail. And the show does this masterfully.

	REPO GAMES Spike  8p ET Tuesdays
	GORDON	CHICO	AVERAGE-O-MATIC
	B-	B-	B-

Chico: Yep. The hosts... they've got their "I'm going to end your life" charm out of them, and they're also relatable. Okay, let's grade it up. I'm going to go with a B-. It's delightfully trashy and at times rather tasteless... but sometimes, it has tender moments and the format works.
Gordon: What makes this work are the characters. Like Baggage, this is almost a completely character-driven show. To be blunt, this show is much better than what it deserves to be. You hate what's going on, yet you can't change the channel. That's the very definition of train wreck TV, but it does work. B-.
Chico: YOU WATCHED IT. YOU CAN'T UNWATCH IT!
Gordon: Exactly. Just like you can't unwatch Casey leaving. The judges tried once already. They can't stop it a second time.



Chico: I can attribute Casey's ouster to five things. One. Casey meeting the challenge with... frankly a song that no one has heard of. "Hi-De-Ho," what's that?
Gordon: Hide The Ho, of course. We play that game all the time on 42nd street, usually with a crawlspace and a pickle.
Chico: Ha. I was expecting maybe the Rod Stewart version of "So Far Away"... which I NEVER GOT. So that's one. The second... Everyone else going all out on this challenge and overcoming it, YES, Scotty included.
Gordon: Scotty was good. 4 of the 6 were very good. 2 of them...not so good. That would be Haley and Casey.
Chico: #3 and #4... Haley and Lauren. Do not discount the remaining females. They are quiet in their power.
Gordon: Lauren was solid. Haley...notsomuch. And you can throw Jacob down there too.
Chico: The theme fit in her pocket, though.
Gordon: True. But where's the execution of said theme?
Chico: I thought she won her duet with Casey, but that's just me.
Gordon: She did. I think that's what bailed her out.
Chico: And finally...With one R&B singer and one rocker left, a split genre elimination was inevitable. If you think about it, Jacob and James were not in any REAL danger (although I wouldn't wish the Sixth Doctor garb on my worst enemy... Jacob.) Only the two country singers (Scotty & Lauren) and the two poppers (Casey & Haley) were at risk.
Gordon: As we noted last week. And now for some predictions. Where does Casey vote go?
Chico: Split it between Haley and James, and lock James into the final.
Gordon: Pretty much. Now can America support 2 country singers who haven't diversified into the Top 4?
Chico: Nope.
Gordon: I don't think so either.
Chico: One of them is going to fall.
Gordon: And if there's any week that could be problematic for Scotty, it's this one.
Chico: Next week is Time Warp Week: Two songs, one from today and one from the 60s.
Gordon: Lauren and Scotty better be good, because I think one of them's going to be warped away. And here's the danger of staying in your own element - you have no other base of voters to draw from.
Chico: This is about the time when the favorite (Scotty) takes a powder.
Gordon: We'll see if there's a shocking upset. No shocking upset to be had on Survivor. Just a lot of Omotepe on Redemption Island.



Chico: The last two Zappos have fallen... much to the surprise of no one.
Gordon: Nope. The Rob alliance of 6 has held. Now things get interesting.
Chico: Now the alliance eats its own.
Gordon: Right. Who do you eat first? If I'm Rob, I have one and only one move here.
Chico: I think Phillip is the first to go.
Gordon: I have to disagree. You have to think End Game. If I'm Rob Mariano, who can I win with?
Chico: You can win with Phillip.
Gordon: I most certainly can. Philip, and a floater = win. However, I know that Philip wants to get rid of me. And I know that whoever escapes from Redemption Island wants me gone. So who do I get rid of?
Chico: Andrea? Because Matt is still on RI.
Gordon: Yes. I get rid of the people most likely to ally up and get rid of me.
Chico: And this way, you're assured that at least ONE of them is not in a position to get rid of you.
Gordon: Andrea is #1 on the list. Ashley is next, then Natalie.
Gordon: I would assume at 4, we're going to bring back some redemptioners, and then we have to get rid of them. That leaves Me, Philip and Grant in the Final 3.
Chico: Wouldn't surprise me if a Redemptioner is slipped into the final TC.
Gordon: True, but I don't think they can win. Especially as most Survivor players hate the whole come back from the dead thing.
Chico: They haven't even played the game. What's the point?
Gordon: I honestly don't know. I've hated the twist.
Chico: So now that we have Rob's hit list down to a science...we've got two weeks before the finale... Who makes it?
Gordon: It depends on if 1. Philip grows a brain and 2. When the redemptioners come back to play and how many of them make the trip.
Chico: Makes sense.
Gordon: Do you like Cheese Fondue?
Chico: Love it.
Gordon: What about is you have to eat a bowl full for a U-Turn?
Chico: That's a lot of cheese.



Gordon: It is, and that's too much cheese for the Cowboys. The Globetrotters actually do something RIGHT on the show and U-Turn them, which spells game over.
Chico: I'll tell you about the cheese... Flight & Big apologized to their faces as they were being U-Turned. But back to the Detour. You either had to eat cheese or become porters. I'll take the cheese, thankyavrrmuch.
Gordon: I like Cheese.
Chico: I know you love cheese.
Gordon: What do you like?
Chico: I like gratuitous violence, drama, and the fierce competition of primality. That's why a) I picked up the Mortal Kombat reboot.
Gordon: How is it?
Chico: Awesome... and b) I'm using The Ultimate Fighter to kick off a new segment we're calling...



Chico: Because honestly... we don't spread enough love to enough shows...
Gordon: We don't. We only have 6 slots and countless shows.
Chico: So this is one of those times when we like to do so.
Gordon: Let's give some love to Brock Lesnar, as this is one of the more intense seasons of the show.
Chico: Indeed, sir. Brock Lesnar has something to prove, and he's not above letting others do the talking for him.
Gordon: No he's not. However, his fighters are coming up short in the matches.,
Chico: And they are plagued with injury.
Gordon: Not to mention a pinky bone coming out of a hand. Ew.
Chico: It'll definitely be an interesting watch next week to see if Clay Harvison (the aforementioned pinky breaker) can indeed compete.
Gordon: So there's some love for TUF. Now we need some love for Cheeseball, who decided to use Rob the Cash Cow's tail for a jump rope.
Rob the Cash Cow: Moo.
Chico: Aww. That's cute.
Gordon: Yeah, until he yanks it too hard and Rob kicks him into a new solar system. Roll That Beautiful Brain Footage

(Doug: Live, local, and latebreaking... From the four corners of the globe to your frontal lobe, this is WLTI Brainvision News, and now here's Gordon Pepper, Chico Alexander, and the award-winning Brainvision News Team)

Gordon: Start us up
Chico: No prob. Let's start with the Business End. Gordon, do you like Ninjas? I mean, do you REALLY like ninjas?
Gordon: I do. I have all 4 Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles figures
Chico: Nice.

G4 has a date for American Ninja Warrior 3... August. And NBC (because Comcast owns both G4 and NBC now) will air the finale in Primetime.

Gordon: Do they have a green wall?
Chico: I should hope so.
Gordon: What do we have from the business end?
Chico: That was both business and green light. I also have a calendar entry if you need one of those. Two actually.
Gordon: Lay it on me.

This Monday begins Jeopardy!'s first ever Teachers Tournament. Winner gets $100,000. This Tuesday: season 7 of Chopped premieres. Seriously, does Ted Allen ever sleep?

Gordon: Maybe if you slip NyQuil into one of his meals.
Chico: Umm... No. That would just be dumb.
Gordon: Ive got some of that. The dumb part, that is.
Chico: Nice.

Are YOU Smarter than..Carlos Enrique Barron, who went to protect his car from the camera people on Repo Games with a gun and threatened to use it. Carlos gets arrested for nothing because his car was NOT the one that the people Repo Games were going after.

Chico: Repo reflex.
Gordon: More like dumbass reflex
Chico: Same diff.
Gordon: And now for some Haterade.

Steven Tyler, on an interview this week, says he took the job to show something to his teammates, to the point that he told his agent '(Bleep) them, get me a job'

Chico: That's just lovely. And all you needed to prove that your band was still a band.
Gordon: Hey it worked out well for him. For his band, that saw some tours cancelled because of Steve's schedules...not so much. So I've got something Fully Loaded that they can play with while waiting for the next tour.
Chico: Awesome.

And the something is the new Jeopardy Facebook Beta, now available to all trivia fanatics.

Chico: Played it. Love it. You?
Gordon: It's buggy with my Mac and I'm not a huge fan of the style of play (only 1 question per category? lazy much?) You know my mantra - if you can't recreate a game in it's entirety, don't do it.
Chico: So you're more of the Millionaire type then?
Gordon: Milionaire, the new port, is the best game out there.
Chico: Alrighty.
Gordon: Because it has the whole game. Family Feud is a close second and TPIR is third. But none of them award you a real trip for winning. Aw.
Chico: Nope. And none come equipped with...



Gordon: Whoa. That's rad.

Anne Robinson has decided that 11 years as host of "Weakest Link" is long enough, and is leaving the show. BBC responded by not even bothering with the search for someone to replace her, ending "Weakest Link".

Chico: The good news... in 10 years... she'll be announcing the Price Is Right.
Gordon: Which version?
Chico: Let's go old school. Leslie Crowther. Who is dead, by the way.
Gordon: Aw.
Chico: Been that way for a WHILE now. For more mediaworthy hijinks, here's Gordon. *plays Luda* (Pimpin' All Over the World)

In this week's Media Ho Report, Phil Keoghan wants you to buy Amazing Race Snapple, Guy Fieri wants to cook with your kids, Howie Mandel comes to a benefit at Chelsea Piers...

Gordon: Hey! I know that area!
Chico: So do I! Cool, isn't it?
Gordon: Yah.

Rob Mariano goes around the world in 80 ways, Poker stays on the air despite last week's US Government silliness, Pia Toscano gets $100,000 to perform a 'private' concert

Chico: Instruments involved?
Gordon: We shall not go there.

Rulon Gardner 'quits' The Biggest Loser, prompting people to ask if that wasn't a big promotional stunt to begin with, Corbin Bleu may go The X Factor, and Justin Guarini is a new daddy.

Gordon: But none of them are the Hoes of the week...12, 13, 14, of them
Chico: That's a lot of hoes.
Gordon: They are the 'All-Stars ' of Season 17's America's Next Top Model. When asked how they were cast, the response was 'storylines' and not 'best in ability' Hoo boy.
Chico: Obviously desperate for ratings in the 17th season.
Gordon: Read: We're in trouble with our ratings and we need something or we're not making it to 2013
Chico: Here's a hint: you're not making it to 2013.
Gordon: Never a good sign when your show gets moved. And those...are your hoes. And that's BrainVision. Shut it down.
Chico: Got it. *fobs*
Gordon: What do we got coming back from the break?
Chico: Coming from the break, we annotate a lot of things, but first... changing poison to medicine... and then back to poison.
Gordon: You're reading WLTI. You give us 22 minutes and we'll give you 22 things we will NOT be drinking today, Like cream of Madagascar Hissing Cockroach. Or Bile. Or Pigs's blood. I miss Fear Factor.
Chico: I bet you do...

(BrainVision has been brought to you by America's Next Top Model: The Cheerleader Edition. 14 Cheerleaders will compete to be the next Top Model...because they really aren't going to be doing much else for the next 7 months.)

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