Episode 26.10 - Springing
Forward... and Falling Back
March 21
Chico: Hola! Me llamo Chico Alexander... Y es
tiempo.. a jugar!
Jason: Yo soy Jason Block.
Chico: ... I can be bilingual and sexy too.
Jason: Gordon...can you be a cunning linguist?
Gordon: I am going to be too high-class to answer that question.
Jason: Ok I am sorry.
Chico: Really?
Gordon: Besides I'll probably say something much worse later on which will then
prompt Chico to call me out and telling me I'm not getting a home game.
Jason: LOL
Chico: Probably. Let's get it underway then. From somewhere in America... WLTI...
Is... ON!
Jason: WOO HOO!
Gordon: Gordon Pepper here, along with Chico and our special guest this week,
Mr. Jason Block.
Jason: Always fun to be in the nuthouse.
Chico: Great! Well, we've got a lot to do and not a lot of time, so let's start
with a singalong...
Gordon: Tu chupando, entonces tomando un viaje a Siberia.
Chico: Si, ya nos hablo porque Karen Rodriguez toma un viaje a Siberia.
Jason: Yo se porque ella esta viajando a Siberia y no estan en el concierto del
los mejor diez del American Idol
Chico: Que pena, pero es verdad.
Jason: Claro que si. Pero Karen hice un error de musica. Ella todamente canto en
espanol y Ingles.
Gordon: Karen Rodriguez's boca, unfortunamente, esta no aqui en American Idol.
Ella's boca ayuda cuando preparar chorizo.
Chico: GORDON!
Gordon: ...qua?
Chico: Malo hombre! Muy muy muy malo!
Gordon: No jugar del casa?
Chico: No jugar del casa para ti.
Gordon: Que lastima.
Chico: Okay, this bit is officially old.
Jason: Yeah it is.
Gordon: Basically, what we're saying, is that Karen, who's specialty is Latina
Pop, has sung herself out of the competition.
Chico: Yep. And you know what did it, right?
Jason: Being Mediocre.
Chico: Right. I mean, rewind to last week, when she was in the bottom two.
You're in the bottom two. That should be a red flag that you should change your
game up a little. Karen didn't. She chose a mediocre song, sang it mediocre...
And this is the part that gets ME. She flat out told Jimmy Iovine, who you will
regard as GOD for your tenure on this show... She doesn't want to be known as
"the Spanish singer". And then during her bit with Taylor Dayne's "Love Will
Lead You Back", she regresses into... la cantante espanola.
Jason: right.
Chico: So either she was scared to or not willing to evolve (and that's what you
have to do if you want to win)... but either way... She, at least in my eyes,
became a fraud.
Gordon: I actually liked the song. The problem was the performance of said song.
Chico: Exactly.
Gordon: And I completely disagree with her thinking. She SHOULD have been the
Spanish singer. The problem was that she didn't follow through on either end.
She didn't immerse herself into Latin Pop and she wasn't diverse. She stayed in
mediocre pop. Singing a song in Spanish is NOT Latin pop.
Jason: But may I channel Gordon for a second? If that was a problem. why didn't
Scotty who was country for a third week in a row get penalized?
Chico: Let's be honest. The audience for country is vastly bigger than the
audience for Latin pop vis-a-vis this show.
Jason: Exactly.
Gordon: Oh no. I completely disagree with both of you. There are a TON of Latin
singers and there is a Latin audience. What were her 3 songs?
Chico: Hero... Love Will Lead You Back... and I Could Fall in Love.
Gordon: Is Hero Latin?
Chico: No.
Gordon: Is Love Will Lead You Back Latin?
Chico: No, but I have heard a salsa version during my summer in Miami. But
you're right -they were both written by Anglos.
Gordon: Is 'I Could Fall in Love' a song that the Latin mainstream will know?
Chico: No.
Jason: Nope
Gordon: Her problem was that she did NOT cater to her Latin base.
Chico: Or at least she gave a half-assed attempt.
Gordon: And her song choices were poor. What do all 3 choices have in common?
Jason: Yawn. Boring
Gordon: No. All 3 songs were an soft pop / AC genre. Who already has that market
cornered?
Jason: Pia Toscano
Chico: And Thia Megia... to a FAULT.
Gordon: There was one obvious choice to do a song in 1989, which would have
gotten her out of that genre AND kept to her loyal fan base. That would be
'Don't Wanna Lose You' (or Si Voy a Perderte) by Gloria Estefan.
Chico: I LOVE that song, Gordon.
Jason: Good choice
Chico: I'm bringing up a discography now. "Anything for You" would've been ...
better than what she picked. "Don't Wanna Lose You" would've been a LOT better
(and it did come out in 1989, G, so points for that). Almost anything from the
"Cuts Both Ways" album.
Jason: Don't mess with Gordon on his music
Gordon: Nope. I know my tunage.
Chico: Sure do. So you have the trilogy of error for Karen Rodriguez. She didn't
pick a good song, she sang it sleepily, and ... she didn't want to win
basically. Trilogy of error.
Gordon: Oye Mi Canto hit in Europe in 1989 and the US in 1990, so I don't know
if that's legal.
Chico: It was on the Cuts Both Ways album from 1989, so it's legal.
Jason: May I ask a question or two?
Chico: Go head.
Jason: 1. Who does Karen's votes go to?
Chico: The other New Yorker, I'm guessing. Pia Toscano. You know they grew up
together, right?
Jason: Yeah I do.
Gordon: I agree with Chico. Some also go to Thia, but not many.
Jason: 2. Who does next week's theme? (Motown) help and kick off the concert
tour train?
Chico: Next week's theme MAY help out Naima, and let's face it, she needs all
the help she can get. If she sings lights out in the R&B grouping, you can
expect a bottom three of Haley, Thia, and perhaps either Paul or Casey, because
these four are teetering on the brink of mediocrity.
Gordon: I think Haley's doomed.
Jason: We said that last week :)
Chico: We did. She's still doomed. Let's put it this way. Even if she does find
her voice this week... she's still doomed.
Jason: Exactly.
Chico: It's like falling down a well, and then looking up to see that there was
a rope to hang yourself on.
Gordon: Well when you're in the bottom and STILL in the bottom after your fan
base knows you're in trouble, that's not good.
Chico: So there's one. As for Thia teetering on the brink, she's making the same
mistakes she made before (literally, when she was on America's Got Talent) She's
singing slow, sleepy ballads when she should be changing her game up.
Gordon: Well more importantly, Thia has to sing something WELL.
Chico: We know she can sing. That's a given. But now we're at a stage where you
have to answer the age-old question..."What else you got?" If I may quote Herm
Edwards here... "You play to win the game." So Motown night is going to be the
challenge that we've all been waiting for. None of this coasting business
anymore. Now the fun begins.
Gordon: You can tell that to our Final Jeopardy players this week. Or should I
say, playeR
Chico: And he's been playing something fierce.
Jason: He is a bad man :)
Chico: Remember the name: Tom Kunzen. Tom has four games, $110,000+. He starts
to enter the ToC talk. There are players who bet badly, but Tom Kunzen is not
one of them. He is BEAST. And Wednesday he did something that only one other
Jeopardy! player in history did. Play Final Jeopardy! by himself.
Gordon: ...I've never been given any money when I play with myself.
Jason: LOL
Chico: Okay, enough about Gordon's leisure time. :-) I'm guessing Gordon never
asked for the money up front. You see where your problem is? ASK FOR THE MONEY
UP FRONT!
Gordon: Absolutely. Also I should never blow my wad for a 30 second stumper.
Chico: Okay! You want the clue?
Jason: SURE!
Chico: The category in play: Vocabulary.
PRONOUNCED ONE WAY, THIS 7-LETTER WORD CAN MEAN UNJUSTIFIED; PRONOUNCED
ANOTHER, IT'S SOMEONE SICKLY
Chico: Okay, Jason, you're first as always.
Jason: What is INVALID.
Chico: or IN-valid. Gordon?
Gordon: What is Charlie?
Chico: Leave my dad out of this. :-) Happy birthday, dad. =p
Gordon: I thought your dad was Carlos.
Chico: Charlie's a variant.
Gordon: Would it be better if I used Britney or Lindsay?
Chico: Either or. You know, it's no big. I mean, you'd be wrong either way, but
you'd be wrong AND incorrect. That day, Tom won $30,400. He's up to $110,601 and
will defend Monday. Another thing to remember... PMA. "Positive Mental
Attitude". Vyxsin wanted to keep it, but by the time 60 minutes was up, she was
sorely lacking in it and became yet another example of the worst excesses that
are...
Chico: Leg 4 was another double leg as the Racers arrived in China.
Gordon: I actually prefer Double Legs to Non-Elimination legs.
Jason: I do too! Pushing the racers to the limit.
Chico: So do I, you know. And you know something? For someone with so much PMA,
Vyxsin was perhaps the most want of a break to be cut. BIG BORED, please.
The Broken Leg
- Lost Car
- Lost Flight
- Lost Fanny Pak
- Lost Passport
- Lost Way
|
Chico: Let's call this one The Broken Leg. The
mistakes to be made on this leg were many, and it seems that Kent & Vyxsin made
all of them; Let's see. they drove in the wrong direction. They lost their car.
They missed a turnoff... twice. They missed their flight. They almost left
without their passport (heretofore known as "Pulling a Zev"), and when the
episode ended, they lost their fanny pack.
Gordon: which had their passport in it.
Chico: And if you've been watching the Race since year one, you know that you
must have your fanny pack on your person AT ALL TIMES. So they almost forgot
their passport twice.
Jason: WOW
Chico: We were left to wonder whether or not they would even MAKE it to the Pit
Stop.
Gordon: The only good thing is that they have another leg to run.
Chico: AND... The next leg features a DOUBLE U-Turn. So it's still anyone's
Race.
Jason: Double Nasty
Gordon: Well, sort of. The problem here is That I don't know if they have enough
time to recover. Maybe they do, thanks to the Double U-Turn.
Chico: It all depends on what the detour is. I mean, if its quick like this one,
then they're in for it. If it's long and drawn out, then maybe, JUST MAYBE, they
have a shot. But such is the nature of the U-Turn.
Jason: U-Turns are nasty.
Gordon: What about the nature of booted Survivor players?
Chico: Usually, they go home. Not this season. Now they're going to Redemption
Island... also known as "Matt Island".
Jason: For now LOL
Chico: Because Matt has been OWNING Redemption Island.
Gordon: Matt's now 3-0 on Redemption Island
Chico: He took out Francesca. He took out Russell (called it, by the way), and
now Kristina. His next target: Krista, voted out at Tribal Council #5. So to
review, Kristina was voted out forth, and lost Redemption Island. Matt will next
face Krista.
Gordon: And Stephanie's going to be next unless she can figure out how to get
into the Anti-Russell 6.
Chico: Barring any sudden turn of events. For example, it's getting to be that
time when BOTH tribes go to Tribal Council. Hasn't happened yet. Not saying it
will, but there's a good possibility.
Jason: Right.
Chico: Stephanie has to hope that it doesn't happen yet. But before Krista left,
she left a little parting gift; A Russell Seed, if you will. You remember the
fustercluck that happened when Phillip basically called everyone out? Same thing
happens when Stephanie does it.
Jason: She did it better :)
Gordon: She let everyone know where they stood in their alliances. Now people
have to wonder if they are safe where they are.
Chico: But you know at the end of the day, they're going to take the path of
least resistance, because this early in the game, it doesn't benefit anyone to
take a calculated risk. That said, the only way Stephanie sticks around is if
either she or her tribe wins the next Immunity.
Gordon: It does if you have the numbers to do it. Stephanie needs to find some
numbers.
Chico: Quickly.
Jason: Rapidly
Gordon: Or she'll be hanging out with Matt on an island with a nice beachfront
view. You know who else likes beaches? College kids on Spring Break.
Chico: WOOO! *puts on shades, bucket hat, and loud T-shirt and cargo shorts*
Jason: *hands Chico the beer bong* CHUG! CHUG! CHUG!
Chico: Special hello to all the kids out there on Spring Break.
Gordon: And a bunch of them ignored the beach for one day to appear on The Price
is Right.
Chico: Hopefully you have your tuition paid off. Otherwise, you're going to end
up like Ashley Perrin. She had $10,000 in her hand. She could've taken it and no
one would've given her guff about it. Let's Pay the Rent...sorry, Pay the
TUITION. Gordon, you're up. Your products of great significance....
A 4-pack of Rockstar energy drinks
A bottle of Febreze
A pack of Dixie cups
A bag of Fritos Scoops
One pack of Top Ramen
A bag of Pizza Rolls.
Chico: It's like college all over again.
Jason: ROFL
Gordon: Not my college years.
Chico: And if you have JUST one pack of Top Ramen in your pantry... I pity you.
Anyway, where do they go, G?
Gordon: Ok, the most expensive thing is obviously the 4 Pack. That goes on top.
Now a SIX pack would be good in my college years
Chico: I would've had to have a keg. Granted I probably would've died of the
hypertension, but I needed to stay awake. Go on.
Gordon: Now we're looking for gaps. There's a MAJOR Gap between the Ramen pack
and everything else, so we're looking for the 3rd expensive item. We'll go Pizza
Rolls at the bottom. So now we group the most and least expensive vs. the 2
middles. The Ramen is obviously the least expensive, so that goes with the Frito
Scoops.
Chico: Okay. That leaves the Febreze and the cups.
Gordon: I'm going to guess thats less expensive than the Freshener and Dixie
cups combined, to Ramen Fritos is under the Febreeze Dixie.
Chico: MMm... Ramen Fritos
Gordon: So my order is Totinos < Ramen Fritos < Febreeze Dixie < Rockstar
Chico: Totinos... then the Ramen Fritos... then the Febreeze Dixie... then the
Rockstar. Pizza Rolls are... $4.49. Chips: $4.99, Ramen: 29c. Total of: $5.28.
Febreze: $2.99, cups: $3.49. Total: $6.48. Energy drinks.... $6.99.
Jason: BOO YAH!
Chico: You rule the house, G. I can tell you where Ashley went wrong. She put
the ramen in the mailbox. That says right there. I"m going for $10,000 with NO
chance of winning $100,000.
Jason: right
Chico: That's rule #1 right there. Don't put the least-expensive item in the
bottom.. Which will be known now and forever more as "putting the ramen in the
mailbox." TM
Gordon: Right. Now where's my Tuition?
Chico: Ask Jason.
Jason: At the dean's office at Faber College
Gordon: You mean JohnBelushi's fictional college.
Chico: Animal House... House... House...
Gordon: Nice.
Chico: Okay, let's fast-forward to the Showcase round. Gordon, you're going to
look at this Showcase and determine whether you want to bid or pass. Gordon, you
get this Showcase..
Pair of surfboards & wetsuits, Bahamas trip, and a Mazda MX5 Miata. Bid or
pass?
Gordon: I don't want it. All Jay's.
Chico: You don't want a Mazda.
Gordon: It's a Miata. I'll leave it in NYC for the day and my hubcaps, tires,
and rims will be gone.
Chico: Good point. Okay, Jay. Call it.
Jason: $33,500
Chico: Ok Gordon. Now try this out:
Three theatre seats (one for each of us), a 47" 3DTV, a refrigerator, tickets
to the Final Four in Houston, and an Infiniti G37, which if you leave in NYC for
the day, the hubcaps, tires, rims, chassis, seats, radio, doors, and windows
will be gone.
Gordon: Ooh. But at least it doesn't suck.
Chico: Oh, and the engine. That'll be gone, too. And the gas tank. And the seat
belts.
Gordon: What about the antifreeze cap? Can I have that?
Chico: They'll leave you with that and the windshield wipers if you're lucky.
Gordon: $57,913
Chico: Okay, Jason, your Showcase is... $32,258. You're over. And by so little,
too. Goodness.
Gordon: Aw.
Chico: Gordon... Your Showcase is... $58,498, a difference of $500 and change.
You don't win both Showcases, but you do win a pop at the Super Showcase of Home
Viewer swag. I'll review the prizes, you give the price.
Gordon: Nice! That will go perfectly with the $100,000 that I'm not going to be
getting.
Chico: It will, won't it? The prizes once again...
- a Lenovo Thinkpad
- a Honda Accord EX
- A retro refrigerator...
- a Little Guy trailer...
- a Steam Shower...
- a trip to MLS First Kick 2011 in Seattle (Go Sounders)
- a ladies watch...
- a Bull Luxury Q outdoor kitchen island...
- a Paula Deen living room group, y'aaaalll.
- And a trip to Riviera Maya in Cancun.
- Gordon, your bid.
Gordon: $57,769
Chico: Okay. the actual retail price... $64,816. The winner... with the exact
price (and we all called it, by the way).... Katherine Ross of Reynoldsville,
PA!
Gordon: YAY!
Chico: She deserves this...
Jason: Congrats!
Gordon: Does she also deserve a trip to see Wedding Wars?
Chico: NO ONE deserves THAT. Here's the rundown. Twelve couples are whisked away
to paradise in Hawaii, set to compete for the wedding of their dreams and
$25,000. You'd like that, Jason. Money. Wedding. You and the ladyfriend would
love that.
Jason: Well yeah...but what would I Have to do for it.
Chico: HERE's the kicker.
Gordon: That's always the kicker.
Chico: Instead of a posh resort in paradise... you're staying on the set of
Lost, basically. Jungle love... oh wee oh wee oh.
Jason: I see. So it's like "We're Engaged, Get Me Out of Here?"
Chico: Right.
Jason: Oh boy.
Chico: And because Michele Merkin hasn't done anything decent since ABC's "the
Next Best Thing"... she gets to host this steaming pile of reality show.
Gordon: Well here's the good: If you're expecting something similar to all the
other money-hungry reality shows that VH1 has promised not to air after the
whole I Love Money Ryan Jenkins scandal, then you're in luck, because that's
exactly what they do here.
Chico: YAY!
Jason: Lovely. They never learn, do they!
Gordon: And you do get some knowledge about planning a wedding, so that's sort
of good, right?
Chico: If you're planning a wedding. On an island.
Gordon: They do have island weddings.
Jason: Of course
Chico: And they're very romantic from what I hear. And at least it forces the
participants (again, caricatures) to think about things. Put nuptials in their
proper perspective, if you will.
Gordon: And Michelle Merkin does need a break of some sort. Notice we're not
talking about the show itself.
Chico: Of course not. Because it's VH1 and there's an expectation.
Gordon: Because the show's a steaming pile of broken tiki torches.
Jason: Seems like it :)
Gordon: It's cliché. We've seen this all before. At least with Shedding For the
Wedding, we're getting it an a slightly different angle.
Chico: This show... isn't even REMOTELY different. We get it. You like Survivor.
But not enough to go all the way with it.
Gordon: And how do we determine the eliminations?
Chico: VOTING! YAY!
Gordon: Whoo hoo!
Chico: It's Survivor: Wedding.
Jason: Yawn :)
Gordon: And I like Survivor.
Chico: A lot. Again, it's Survivor... but not all the way survivor, because that
would mean an actual effort.
Jason: You mean you want effort?
|
WEDDING WARS
VH1 - 9p ET Mondays |
GORDON |
CHICO |
JASON |
AVERAGE-O-MATIC |
F YOU |
F |
NO GRADE |
F YOU |
Chico: That would have been nice. So let's see...
we have a clichéd reality show, with a clichéd cast and a host that would be
better suited for a Macy's storefront window (and I wish I was kidding on that
last one). The only thing missing is the formulaic catchphrase. And I ain't
talkin' Art James. F.
Gordon: Do you remember a little show called Here Come the Newlyweds?
Chico: Why yes. Yes I do.
Jason: Sure.
Gordon: How did that work for you?
Chico: It was... It wasn't terrible. Then again, neither are root canals.
Gordon: What about Race to the Altar?
Jason: That at least was in Vegas
Chico: Race to the Altar... again, wasn't bubonic. That's right, I compared a
bad reality show experience to a sickness.
Gordon: There's only one Couple's Show that I think has worked - and that's Fear
Factor: Couples. And I think I need to recap this show JUST to torture Chico. F
You.
Chico: *plays Cee-Lo song
of the same name*
Jason: Thank Goodness I didn't see this mess.
Gordon: Well Wait Jay - It's on this afternoon. Go watch it :)
Jason: No thanks. But is this worse than "Bridalplasty"?
Gordon: No.
Chico: I don't know.. Bridalplasty was worth a phone call to the network. An
expletive-laced phone call to the network.
Jason: LOL
Gordon: This is just bad because it's an unoriginal retread. It's not offensive.
Chico: So what did the hams think of "Wedding Wars"
*collective pellet formation in the shape of an altar*
Gordon: They're building their own altar, apparently.
Chico: That's..... what I thought. Wonderful.
Jason: Lovely
Gordon: but Hey, Jason, since you didn't watch Wedding Wars, you can have your
own challenge experience. (Hands Jason pail and shovel)
Jason: (starts digging) Hopefully the cue wont be too long now
Chico: So while Jason scoops up a pile of reality show...
Gordon: Roll that Beautiful Brain Footage
(Doug:
Live, local, and latebreaking... From the four corners of the globe to your
frontal lobe, this is WLTI Brainvision News, and now here's Gordon Pepper, Chico
Alexander, and the award-winning Brainvision News Team)
Chico: Oh man, we've got a hot Brainvision Round this week, and we'll start with
a green light.
After
years of waiting and months of speculation, ABC has finally ordered "101 Ways to
Leave a Game Show" to series. Hosting... BrainSurge's Jeff Sutphen.
Chico: I tell you, he has a future in this business.
Jason: And yes, he is a very good host.
Gordon: He does. And his personality is a great fit for the show. Now I hope
that the game show, which had potential but brutally slow pacing, either
increases the number of contestants or quickens the pace of the show, or both,
or else it won't last here.
Chico: It makes a great compliment for Wipeout.
Gordon: I don't know if it will do that, to be honest. I think the shows may be
too similar in nature.
Chico: Well, 101 Ways is like Wipeout... if it were a straight quiz. So there's
that difference. But then again, Crash Course was like Wipeout in cars. So what
do I know. And Jeff Sutphen is way better than Dan Cortese... again, what do I
know.
Gordon: I know this. Usually when you bastardize an idea and don't make it your
own, it fails. Quickly.
Chico: Yep. As much as it has going for it, it has going against it. Hopefully
ABC will know what they're doing and not toy with success too much.
Gordon: How successful was this in the UK?
Chico: Cancelled after one season.
Gordon: Not very successful then, huh?
Chico: No.
Jason: Nope
Chico: Fingers crossed. We hate to see a game show fail. Unless it's one that
deserves fail... Bridalplasty ... Profanity-laced phone call.
Gordon: We hate to see it fail, but this is a show that I think HAS to be
tinkered with if it's going to survive here.
Chico: But for every show with a glimmer of promise, there's a show that has a
glimmer of something else. This is a new sub-segment of the Business End
called.... "Stop Me If You've Heard This One" Green light, meet red light.
Jason: Do you need the bat?
Chico: I need the bat with the stop sign on it.
Jason: (hands Chico the Stop Sign Bat)
Chico: Now stop me if you've heard this one...
Gordon: STOP (I have ESP)
Chico: Sure you do. I have ESP too. It's on 1500 in HD :-)
Speed
has picked up Whipped, a show from the producers of Wipeout in which contestants
compete for car customizations by driving on an extreme obstacle course.
Jason: Whoa...my head hurts.
Chico: I think someone needs a crash course in how not to copy a game show. 1)
Pick one that hasn't been cancelled. 2) Pick one that has aired all of its
episodes.
Gordon: Well, yes and no. I actually think the show can succeed here.
Chico: Yes it works on Speed, but will people actually watch it?
Jason: They watched Bullrun
Chico: And when was the last time Bullrun aired?
Gordon: They got 3 seasons out of it, which is pretty darn good.
Chico: True. I'm just saying, if it didn't work once, why try it again? Although
I'm sure to be wrong there.
Gordon: You are pitching this to a more concentrated audience and you need less
ratings for it to survive. I think it could work here.
Chico: Okay, I'll give you that. I'll also give you this... It's a calendar with
a disco ball on it. See what you can do.
Gordon: The Disco Ball means we're going dancing again.
Dancing
With the Stars shows up on Monday. Shark Tank Season 2 shows up on Friday.
Chico: In earnest. There's a bit of a preview day Sunday. I wonder if that means
that ABC is... jumping the shark? .... Anyone?
(crickets)
Chico: ... no one?
Gordon: After that joke, I need to get Fully Loaded.
Chico: Apps, I have a few.
If
you're on Facebook, you can play the Dating Game (right now) or Who Wants to Be
a Millionaire (March 21). If you have an iPhone... you have a Minute to Win It.
Jason: Nice.
Gordon: What about a Minute to be a Moron?
Chico: I think it takes a little LESS than a minute.. *wheels in whiteboard*
Are
YOU Smarter than...Stefano Langone, who was arrested for DUI only a year after a
car crash he was in with a drunk driver that forced him to undergo
reconstructive surgery.
Chico: That's dumb.
Jason: Very dumb
Gordon: This came out AFTER the previous week's voting on Idol. Does this hurt
him next week?
Jason: yes
Chico: It's a possibility.
Gordon: I think the fact that his whole image was based on reconstructing
himself after getting nailed by a drunk driver. If it shows that he was under
the influence himself, the public is going to turn on him quickly. This is
something so potentially damaging that it could save Haley.
Jason: And the National Enquirer published this story. This could be big.
Chico: Of course that's all contingent on how far and how hard this story hits.
If it's indeed as far reaching as I think it's about to be, then the
consequences will be dire.
Gordon: And it also depends on what Stefano does next week. If he sings well,
all will be forgiven. if he lets this get to him and he lays an egg on the
stage, it could be trouble.
Chico: It's Motown. He can't possibly mess this up. It's him vs. Jacob for the
R&B vote. I give it to Jacob...
Jason: I do too
Chico: But still, Motown is as American as apple pie, mom, baseball and pickup
trucks with hydrawlics built in'em so they jump. Hard to mess up. Oh, and
Haterade. It's as American as that too.
Gordon: So Haterade - We have a LOT of it this week. Want some?
Jason: (puts down the cup) Serve me
Chico: Am I going to need a keg?
Gordon: Yes you will
Glass
#1: Supposedly the Celebrity Apprentice nastiness between Lisa Rinna and Star
Jones got so nasty that NBC Legal had to step in.
Chico: There was nastiness?
Jason: CATFIGHT!
Gordon: Nastiness
Chico: Yikes
Gordon: it was rumored that one of the reasons why Lisa was canned this week was
because they couldn't have her and Star in the same room.
Jason: Ooooh boy.
Chico: Nastiness indeed
Gordon: But wait! There's more!
Jason: More?
Gordon: More!
Chico: Keep it coming
According to an article, Laurel Kagay, the ex of Brad Womack, told Emily to
get out of the relationship. ' "The pattern has started, and she better get out
as fast as she can," Kagay told E! News. "Now the letters, flowers and promises
begin. She will most likely fall into Brad's BS. I just hope she doesn't do it
as long as I did."
Gordon: This all may be academic, because allegedly, they broke up right after
the taping.
Jason: Are we shocked at this?
Gordon: No.
Gordon: I do have more.
Jason: He does.
Gordon: Want more?
Chico: Oh yeah.. There's more. This has more baggage than a good night at Jerry
Springer's.
Last Comic Standing, which was resurrected once, has been reburied, according
to NBC brass.
Chico: Resurrected TWICE
Gordon: Now will it stay dead?
Chico: Probably not
Jason: Nope.
Gordon: So now the comedians need to go somewhere else. Where would you want to
send them?
Chico: FRANCE! They'll laugh at anything! Take this for example..
It's
a game called "Honey, Pack the Bags!" Starting March 28, audience members will
compete in quizzes and challenges for a chance to win a holiday trip.
Gordon: While you're at it, Don't Forget Your Toothbrush!
Chico: The format will be featured at MIPTV. :P
Gordon: What's old is old again, just flashier.
Jason: LOL
Gordon: What about some flashy hoes?
Chico: *plays "Pimpin All Over the World"*
In
this week's Media Ho Report, Ricki Lake is looking to host again. Tyra Banks
goes to the Harvard Business School, Ousted Idoler Karen Rodriguez says that
millions of people will buy her CDs and she's ready for acting (since that
worked just SO well for every other booted Idoler before the Top 10)...
Gordon: Ms. Rodrgiuez, Mario Vazquez on line 1.
Bill Rancic sells his Chicago House, Drew Carey goes into the WWE Hall of
Fame, Good Charlotte does an awesome Double Dare on FunnyorDie.com...Donald
Trump is unhappy with his roast, John O'Hurley has fun with his Dog Show
Friends, and Joey Fatone will go to the show he used to host - 'The Singing Bee'
- as a special guest contestant.
Gordon: But none of them is your ho of the week.
Chico: Who you got, dude?
Jason: Yes, who?
Gordon: Your ho is LA Reid, who will be the first 'official' judge on the
upcoming 'The X Factor'.
Jason: Good choice.
Chico: Very good. Worked with Babyface.
Gordon: Definitely an influential part of the music industry, but will he
translate well to TV?
Chico: I think he'll be straight shooting. Might be the X's version of Randy.
Gordon: We'll see when we get more judges announced. And those...are your hoes.
Chico: Yay. By the way, the other contestants for the Joey Fatone / Melissa
Peterman hour of awkwardness... Bobby Brown, Drew Lachey, and Wanya Morris.
We'll play Guess the Band later, right now, that's Brainvision. Jason, please...
Jason: SHUTTING DOWN
Chico: Still to come, we look into the not-too-distant future, next Summer AD,
but first, Gordon?
Gordon: First, we play a little role reversal. You're reading WLTI. You give us
22 minutes, and we'll give you 22 items a geek boy would want to see on next
year's TPIR showcase contest. Man Cave.
Jason: Racing Wheel
Chico: Dough-nu-matic.
Gordon: Trip to the E3 Expo.
Chico: Amber Lancaster in a two-piece.
Jason: You have that? :)
(Brainvision is powered by Ramen Fritos, good for when you want to eat
hearty... but you don't have the money for Mickey D's. Gordon loves it.)
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