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Previous Episodes (Season 26)
December 20/27 - 2010 Year In Review Double Episode

January 10 - Since You've Been Gone / 20?s: Ross Hewitt / Push or Flush (2)

January 17 - Returning Champions / Accuracy or Idiocy / Welcome to Hollywood

January 24 - Hollywood Is Dead / Ask the Doctor / What Happens First

February 7 - I Make Them Good Games Go Bad / This, That or The Other / Number Please
 

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Episode 26.5 - Valentine's Less Than Three
February 14

Gordon: This is Gordon Pepper, and every Valentine's Day, we usually grouse about how love sucks and how Chico and myself are single.
Chico: Right.
Gordon: However, this week's special guest, Mr. Jason, is in a relationship.
Jason: I am in a happy long term relationship :)
Gordon: So Jason is going to tell Chico and I a little bit on how it feels. Being that Chico and I know nothing about this thing called commitment...unless you consider that we should be committed.
Chico: Is it as good as reality TV makes it out to be?
Jason: Reality TV doesn't even come close to depicting what a relationship is. I have groused for years how everything you see is fake. It is never organic.
Chico: Tell you right now. I was in a committed relationship once... didn't end well.
Jason: Love is never forced on you like that. What people like Mike Fleiss try to depict is the "fantasy", the "storybook". The best part of the relationship is not the courting, it's what happens after.
Gordon: Tell us about your relationship, Jason
Jason: Well, my relationship is based on trust. It is a partnership of equals. A mutual UNCONDITIONAL respect of others. We are each other best friends, partners, psychologists Partners in Life.
Gordon: That's so sweet...Hey Chico!
Chico: YES Gordon?
Gordon: You know that trap door you built 2 episodes ago?
Chico: Right.
Jason: Oh no...
Gordon: (Holds Remote) Permission to use it?
Chico: Granted.
Jason: NOT AGAIN.
Gordon: Love sucks. (Hits button)
Jason: AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH! (Falls)
Gordon: ...just really needed to get that out of my system. You understand Chico, don't you?
Chico: Of course. And while Jason climbs his way back up to the top, from somewhere in America... the pre-Valentines love fest known as WLTI... is... ON!
Gordon: (Helps Jason up)
Jason: Thanks. (dusts self off)
Chico: Thank you for being a part of our week and allowing our week to be a part of you.
Jason: May I sit down in the guest chair please?
Chico: Of course.
Jason: Thank you.
Gordon: Sure (holds out stool)
Jason: (sits down)
Chico: Before we begin, though... Not too often I get to say this... Gordon.... you were wrong. I was the ONLY ONE to have the Packers winning Sunday. THE ONLY ONE!
Gordon: Honestly, I was hoping that Raiden from Mortal Kombat would come into the stadium and electrocute both teams.
Chico: Now that that's out of the way, let's talk about other winners and losers, as we begin the first of many segments of....



Jason: So which sob story got through this week?
Chico: This week, sob stories go out the window. It's all business. Welcome to Hollywood. It's all about laying it on the stage. You have to perform like you're going home in about 30 seconds. 327... cut in half.
Jason: Ok
Chico: One shot. Separate the men from the boys. The wheat from the chaff. The cream from the ... well, you get it.
Jason: I got the idea :)
Chico: We've been here before. You know what happens. Sob stories out the window. Can you deliver?
Gordon: We know the list of sob stories, and most of them did make it to the second round.
Chico: That's because 2nd unit is not going to waste time on packages for losers. We KNOW this.
Gordon: But here's my question. We had 327 people there for one reason and one reason only - to improve the talent from the previous years and to make people go 'wow'. Did the show do that this season?
Jason: I am not sure.
Chico: I didn't see an improvement in talent, just an improvement in number. It's one of those things where you say "more isn't necessarily better, it's just more." But this is to be expected when you widen the net.
Jason: I didn't see any blow away talent.
Chico: You also catch a couple repeat offenders, but enough about Thia Megia. Did anyone really shine YET?
Gordon: Honestly? No. And I hate to say this, but repeat offenders who go to Idol do very, very well. I expect Thia, if she makes it to the voting round, to do very well. Maybe even be the favorite.
Chico: I'm watching the lady from Lumberton, NC - Victoria Huggins. she could've had a moment, but she violated a key rule early and often. That being "play to your base".
Gordon: We'll be getting to this in a few weeks once we get to the voting stage, but yes, there's a lot to discuss this year on Idol.
Chico: You can play to your strength later, but don't indulge yourself or you're going home. And yes, she's from NC and I have to respect that, but as a respected amateur game show journalist, I have to be as hard IF NOT HARDER on EVERYONE. Correct?
Gordon: Yah.
Jason: I think the judging is a little better, no?
Chico: I think so too. It's getting there.
Gordon: Chico is right. I think the judging is clearer. Not necessarily more accurate.
Chico: But then again, you can't afford the antics that you got during the auditions, because this is all business. Randy needs to lead the charge. Jennifer and Steven need to show that acumen.
Gordon: Not only that, but with more people in Hollywood this year, it's going to be a lot harder to make the final cut.
Chico: But it makes the competition that much better. The greater the pressure the shinier the diamond.
Jason: Let's hope.
Gordon: Let's hope, indeed. I want to see singers with the Carrie Underwood, Kelly Clarkson, Clay Aiken potential. I haven't seen that yet this season.
Jason: Not me either
Chico: Let's hope we see it soon or else, whew, this is going to be a long year.
Gordon: And I'd rather see the singer with a normal story who can be the next Kelly Clarkson than the one with the tremendous sob story who's the next Danny Gokey. And although he has a relatively successful country career going, that's not what the producers of Idol are looking for.
Chico: He was on the Milwaukee show. How would he do on... the Test?
Jason: THE test?
Chico: ... THE test.
Gordon: The...Jeopardy...Test.
Chico: That was this week, and I can say that if you get on J! next year, you'll have earned it because that test kicked my ass.
Jason: Did you pass?
Chico: Nope. Not even close. Paul Wampler passed it, though. He made a decent enough show of it.
Gordon: Paul Wampler could be Tournament of Champions Material.
Jason: Oh he is. The Bald Buzzsaw.
Chico: The Knoxville Knockout.
Gordon: He came up short on Friday's game, but he could still have enough to get in the TOC.
Chico: Oh yeah. He was good on Friday. Just so happens that the ladies were better. You want a Final? I got a Final. The category: 1930s Films.

In this classic film, one of the characters tries to quote the Pythagorean Theorem but gets it wrong.

Jason: Can I do the Joke answer? I have a good one.
Gordon: ...Sure. But if it's a bad one, you are banned from doing it ever again. The real answer: What is The Wizard of Oz?
Chico: Jason?
Jason: What is Citizen Barbie: Math is Tough?
Gordon: ...
Chico: BANNED. FOR. LIFE.
Jason: Oh well. I tried.
Chico: That's the problem, you just "tried".
Gordon: This is what happens when you give the car keys to a 16 year old.
Jason: ROFL
Chico: That was a rather quick judgment. Why yes, Chico. Yes it was. =p
Jason: But yes, G is right.
Chico: Sure was. So was Kate Rowland, who wins $16,401 and gets a reprieve for the rest of sweeps the lucky duck.
Gordon: And the real wrong answer?
Chico: What is 'Gone with the Twilight's Last Reaming'.
Jason: win
Chico: Now THAT's a fake answer.
Gordon: A lot of things were gone with The Twilight's Last Reaming.
Chico: Yep.
Gordon: But Chico, going back to Jeopardy and the test, can you give us a few question on the exam?
Chico: Soitenly. BTW big thanks to our buddy Ed Toutant for this. Credit is good.
Gordon: Thanks Ed. We'll see if Jason can redeem himself.

STRAIT AHEAD: 20 miles long & 2-10 miles wide, the strait of this separates Italy from Sicily.

Jason: What is the Strait of Sardinia?
Gordon: What is the Strait of Messina?

Gordon 1-0 Block

Jason: Nice.

IT WAS ALL YELLOW: This flower of genus Taraxacum has leaves that are used in salads & roots that are made into a coffee-like drink.

Gordon: What is a dandelion?
Chico: Sure is.
Jason: He can do that :)

Gordon 2-0 Block

Chico: One more.
Jason: Ok.
Chico: This is for pride, J.
Jason: I know.

TRAGEDIANS: the big 3 founders of ancient Greek tragedy are Aeschylus, Euripides & him

Gordon:
Who is Sophocles?
Jason: Who is Plato?
Chico: I can't believe I got that right. It was Sophocles.

Gordon 3-0 Block

Gordon: And no, kids, no googling needed. (fist pump)
Jason: Shoot me now. :) Seriously though, they were seriously trying to separate the wheat from the chaff here. Good balance of questions.
Chico: Very good. From the very easy to the hard as all get out. From referencia obscura to common knowledge
Gordon: It was. It's a nice set and it was designed to get rid of the people who don't have the academic background.
Chico: Because someone's got to set the standard in casting. Are you listening to me, everyone else?
Jason: You mean who don't want idiots who yell and scream and can't play the game?
Gordon: No. We're not talking about The Price is Right.
Chico: We are now. =p
Gordon: And hence, we lead on to the next story. Happy Valentines Day! Now go overbid on your showcase.
Chico: We had some really good Showcases this week. and only one of them was won... and it was the special one. Go figure on that. But first, let's go to Monday's show. You can tell we're on evil mode or something, because on that day alone - 2 for 6, and only almost $23,000 goes out the door. Anyway, Gordon, you schooled Jason in Jeopardy! so you get to be top winner. You didn't just beat him, you made him cry. Anywho, here's the first Showcase...

An 82" 3DTV, a 7n Caribbean cruise, and 6n holiday in China.

Chico: That's not a typo, BTW. 82 inches.
Gordon: Jason can have that one. Pass.
Jason: $21,500
Chico: $21,500 for Jason.
Gordon: I don't want anything in my house that's 82 inches. That's envy right there.
Chico: HA! Can you FIT 82 inches in there?
Gordon: I could. I need to reconfigure my TV room, but yes, I could.
Jason: That's about the wall :)
Chico: About that, yeah. Okay Gordon, here's your showcase. It's the Count-up..

A two-wheeled bike... and three-wheeled Scootcoupe... and a four-wheeled Chevrolet Aveo.

Gordon: ...An Aveo? We have an 82 inch big screen TV in the other showcase, a Dodge Ram given out on the show, and you're only offering me an Aveo?
Chico: ... yes. Bid.
Gordon: $69,069. I am insulted by the lack of value in my showcase. Jason can have his 82 inches, if he needs it that badly.
Jason: ROFL. And I don't, thank you very much
Chico: It'll go great with the Xbox HIS GIRLFRIEND gave him. Anyway, Gordon, your Showcase was. $20,121. You were off so hard...
Jason: 48,948 to be exact :)
Chico: Jason... you bid $21,500. Actual price for your Showcase... $18,563.
Jason: OUCH
Gordon: I did all that pandering for nothing.
Jason: I suck.
Chico: If it makes you feel any better... the contestants that bid didn't do any better.
Gordon: So what we're saying is that the $23,196 Dodge Ram that was offered earlier on in the show was worth more than EITHER 'Big Money Showcase' at the end of the show?
Chico: You are correct, sir.
Jason: Yes.
Gordon: Someone was on budget mode this week.
Chico: And here's why. Thursday's Show... the Grammys Showcase. You're both bidding on this. Secret bidding, no conferring.
Jason: Right
Chico: We have a stereo with the 2011 Grammy Nominees CD, a trip to Music's Biggest Night with a cocktail dress that you'd look lovely in, J, a makeover... and an Acura TL. Send me your bids, please. Just want to remind everyone that Jason hasn't been on the show for two weeks. I have to get in this round of ribbing.
Jason: That's ok. I appreciate it :) You kid because you love and it's my b-day this week.
Chico: There you go. (locks) The bids are locked into the GSNN game consoles, they cannot be changed. Jason, you bid... $42,750. Gordon... you bid... $46,069. The actual retail price is... $46,290. Gordon, you're NOT going to the Grammys, but Mildred McCants IS.
Jason: DAMN!
Gordon: Congratulations, Mildred. And hence...



Chico: She wasn't even that close. She bid $35,000. But still, the other guy was off by $26,000 and change. Yikes.
Jason: Yikes indeed
Chico: You want to talk about a sure shot? That was as sure as could be expected. Now let's talk about more sure shots.
Jason: Top Shot 2?
Chico: Top Shot 2. This was episode #201. We've upped the competition, and we're starting with a blind set of challenges. First up, for teams, you have to take ONE shot at a 10-inch target using a Sharps rifle.
Jason: Damn.
Chico: Chris Reed and Jay Lim won that one, got to choose the team. Chris obviously chose a winner, because the Red Team led by Chris won the Team Challenge, a game of Top Shot Pool using the M1911. That's a pistol, by the way. Solids only. So Chris Tilley and Travis Marsh were chosen for elimination with a Smith & Wesson Model 29 .44 Magnum.
Jason: Do you feel lucky?
Chico: So basically, this is a case of... what J said... and "You think you know the game... Think again." Great to see them switch up the competition like that.
Jason: I haven't seen the episode (no grade) but they seem to have kept things that are right and up the difficulty
Chico: Exactly. Keep the things that work, lose the things that don't, and Colby as a host is starting to come into his own. This is what happens when you're renewed. You start to loosen the vise a little.
Gordon: I do like that they are making the challenges interesting and original. Hopefully that can keep it up.
Chico: Not to sound like a psycho, but there are a lot of things you can do with a projectile-based weapon.
Jason: And this is a competition that is unique in the genre.
Chico: I really can't wait to see what they have in store next.
Jason: And that is what makes a good show.
Chico: Agreed. And this is why it's one of the best of 2010.
Gordon: What did you think about what they had in store this week on Millionaire?
Chico: Meh. Par for the course, I'm guessing. Two big money round 2 plays. Otherwise, you get the trivial action stars.
Gordon: We had the highs - and lows - of Joann Chan on Tuesday this week. The high - she becomes the first person in the new format to get all 10 questions without using a Lifeline. That gets her this:



Chico: YAY!
Jason: Nice.
Gordon: But then she does something that will net her something else. Here's her question for $250,000...

The star Betelgeuse, one of the brightest in the night sky, can be seen at what spot on the constellation Orion's "body"?
A: Bellybutton
B: Knee
C: Forehead
D: Shoulder


Gordon: This is our...


(divided by 4)

Jason: D. Shoulder
Chico: E... A body part Nell Carter showed us WAY TOO MUCH OF. It lights up in the sky.
Gordon: Every 30 days, I'm guessing?
Chico: More or less.
Gordon: And it waxes and wanes?
Chico: More or less.
Gordon: Well Jason will no longer be the butt of our jokes, as he actually gets one right. It IS D. Shoulder.
Jason: WOOT!
Gordon: Joann still has a jump and an Ask the Audience. She Asks the Audience and 43% say A. She goes with it and loses $45,300 in the process. She could have jumped the question and played for $500,000 WITH the ATA Lifeline.
Chico: True.
Gordon: So that's a terrible move. The right play is if you know it, answer. If you don't, pass it and go for the half-mil.
Chico: With the ATA. Granted, it's probably not going to be as easy for the audience.
Gordon: Right. Don't even bother burning the ATA on a question that's not pop culture and the audience would have no idea on.
Jason: Very bad play
Gordon: So while Joanne gets the MVP, she ALSO gets this!



Chico: Yay.
Jason: Whoa.
Gordon: Not often you get both awards.
Chico: I believe this is the first time.
Gordon: It is. And it's Dirty because Hans walked all over it after hanging out in the trough all week.
Chico: Do I even have to ask?
Gordon: He was complaining that we didn't do a good enough job de-icing the path to the studio.
Chico: Well, that's what happens when you stretch out a $500,000 MTWI game that is engineered for failure. Seriously, a quarter into a tong of a fork? Who are the sadomasochists who think of that one? There you are. A segue and an item rolled into one.
Gordon: Before Chico once again gets into a Super Coin rant, Roll that Beautiful Brain Footage.
Chico: Thank you.

(Doug: Live, local, and latebreaking... From the four corners of the globe to your frontal lobe, this is WLTI Brainvision News, and now here's Gordon Pepper, Chico Alexander, and the award-winning Brainvision News Team)

Chico: Thanks, Doug. First up, I need... a bat.
Jason: (hands Chico the bat)
Chico: First up, who wants to be a millionaire.... five times over?

It's not the most ever offered on a game show, but X Factor will have the biggest prize guaranteed, a recording contract worth $5 million.

Jason: Desperation?
Gordon: Yes, and attention. Both of which will gets tons of people to audition.
Jason: Yup.
Chico: And here's the couch: audition info is located at fox.com/thexfactor
Gordon: But think about it. For this to work, they have to out Idol Idol.
Chico: They already have the engineered numbers advantage. Big Board, please.


How to Out-Idol Idol

- 1) Cast the Age Net
- 2) Big Money
- 3) Second (or Third or Fourth) Chances
- 4) Group Think
- 5) Simon vs. Paula?!

 

Chico: The Subject: How to Out-Idol Idol. We have 1) the any-age advantage. Idol starts at 15 and stops at 29; you can double that at least by taking the range out. Then there's 2) The Money. A guaranteed $5 million. That's a lot of cheese. And then... you have 3) The Reject Factor. All those who were SO CLOSE on other shows get a shot here. I call it the Syesha Mercado Law.
Gordon: 4) You have groups. Idol only allows singles. On the X-Factor, You can have duets and groups. In fact, it's encouraged.
Chico: Bingo.
Gordon: 5. Simon and Paula - together again. You know they are trying to make it happen.
Jason: Its GOING to happen
Chico: Oh but yeah. That's going to be news. And well... Gordon'll have more on that later, but right now... I need a light. or two.
Gordon: (Tosses over jars of green fireflies)

Nigel Lythgoe has TWO in the offing: CMT's Next Superstar and a possible American version of Irish game Secret Fortune.

Gordon: Hey look! It's Deal or No Deal with envelopes!
Chico: That's how they sold it to Howie. =p
Gordon: I'm going to buy an aquarium for Secret Fortune because it's going to tank.
Chico: Tres clever.
Gordon: Merci.
Jason: Oui.
Gordon: For shows that will hopefully do better, I have a Datebook.

Monday's going to be busy. In addition to the Valentine's Day themed shows, we got Cash Cab: Season 8, Cash Cab: Chicago, and the Watson match on Jeopardy.

Chico: Monday's gonna be sweet

Survivor: Redemption Island shows up on Wednesday and The Amazing Race debuts on Sunday.

Jason: DVR go BOOM!
Chico: Remember, that's Amazing Race... in HD
Gordon: That makes me want to take a trip.
Chico: Trippies? Let's go to the Ukraine...

... they're getting into the hidden-camera game as well thanks to "Deal With It" from Keshet, the fine folks behind "Hidden Agenda".

Chico: .... Meh.
Gordon: Since Hidden Agenda worked out so well over here.
Chico: How can I put this... no. Sorry.
Gordon: Wa waaa. I've got more dumb ideas, coming from dumb people.
Chico: *rolls out white board*

Are YOU Smarter Than...Brad Womack, who allegedly proposed to his on-again, off-again girlfriend a week before taping The Bachelor. When confronted about this, he denied it, but upon being pressed admitted that parts of the story were true.

Jason:
Manwhore. Manwhore and Famewhore. Accurate?
Chico: Yes. How can I put this... some people just don't deserve to mate. Brad
Womack - one of them.
Gordon: We can't have an episode without a Bachelor recap. Chico looooves that.
Chico: Yeah. About that...
Gordon: When you're going on a Bachelor show, proposing to someone else right before then is not a bright idea.
Chico: No
Jason: Not really.
Gordon: Especially if you don't want to end up like him.



Jason: AH!
Chico: And now, the answer to why Paula could join Simon on the panel. Again.
Jason: Live to Dance...gone?
Gordon: Well not officially, But...

Augustus, who is our resident game show zombie, is looking mightily hungrily at these shows: Launch My Line, Bank of Hollywood, and For the Love of Ray J. And, if you're reading the trade papers, the aforementioned Live to Dance.

Chico: Shame, really. I liked Bank of Hollywood.
Jason: I didn't. Exploitation TV.
Gordon: I thought it was ok for what it was. That being said, it wasn't on my must see TV list.
Chico: Bryan Callen needs a new gig. Maybe he could get fully loaded. On an app or two.

Two apps coming, one for iPhone (Millionaire 2011 aka Shuffle Millionaire)... and one for Facebook (Where! In the World! Is!...

Chico: (deep voice) Carmen Sandiego (/dv)
Jason: Nice.
Chico: Thank you. That's the kind of low-brow obvious humor that got us the
About.com nomination GO VOTE! =p

http://gameshows.about.com/b/2011/02/11/finalists-announced-voting-is-open-in-game-show-categories-for-the-about-com-readers-choice-awards.htm 

Chico: Tell your friends.
Jason: Every day till March 11.
Chico: Tell your mom. Tell your friends' moms.
Gordon: And you can vote DAILY! So if you voted already, vote again.
Chico: Bump it, tell EVERYBODY! Did I do good on that? =p
Gordon: Yes you did.
Chico: Okay.
Gordon: Now be a good boy and play me some Luda.
Chico: *plays "Pimpin' All Over the World"*

In this week's Media Ho Report, Booker T is a Tough Enough Trainer, Tom Bergeron shows up on Tosh.0, Sanjaya Malakar joins Freckleface Strawberry, the musical, David Hasselhoff whines about reality TV after his show gets cancelled after 2 episodes, Justin Guarini is in American Idiot, Donald Trump goes to CPAC...

Chico: and pretends like he's running for president. AGAIN.

D'Angelo Castro and Amanda Carbalajes win Live To Dance, Jillian Michaels wants to adopt a child from Africa, and Mike 'The Situation' Sorentino wants out of reality TV and into movies.

Gordon: But none of them are the hoes of the week.
Jason: HOES? who are they?
Gordon: They are Spencer and Heidi, who are trying to be on TV again - this time
on Bravo's Real Wives of Beverly Hills.
Chico: I've said it before. I'll say it again. BANNED. FOR. LIFE.
Jason: Agreed.
Gordon: Bravo's response from Executive Andy Cohen responded by typing, and I quote here, 'Hell no.'
Chico: I like him.
Jason: Yay for Andy
Gordon: And those...are your hoes.
Chico: And that's Brainvision. Jason, please.
Jason: (Shutting down)
Chico: Still to come, we've got coins and we've got a hat. We'll play with coins first. Because love of money trumps all.
Gordon: You'll flip over it. You're reading WLTI. You give us 22 minutes, and we'll give you 22 half eaten boxes of chocolate. Because love sucks.

(Brainvision is powered by Cram It In the Boot! The new game show based on that commercial you can't stop watching... not that one, the other one! The more stuff you cram in the boot of a small British car, the more you win!)

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