It started last summer in Chicago with two people
not a yard away from each other... And after 14 weeks of live performances and
over 500 million votes... It will end TONIGHT with those same two people.
Welcome to the Idol Finale roundtable, where I'm joined by Gordon Pepper,
Grandma Pepper, Lee DiGeorge, Don Harpwood, and Jason Block, the six of us
who've been with you from day 1 to... day ... I lost count. Anyway. Coming into
the vote tonight, less than 2% separated the two finalists, who ended up
surviving 18 different cuts to make it to tonight. But as of 8:55p ET last
night, both Crystal and Lee have done all they could. Now Toledo and Chicago are
waiting to see what America had to say.
First stop: Toledo, OH and Team Crystal... then
over to Mt. Prospect, IL and Team Lee. Starting the show with the top 12 with
"School's Out"... with Alice Cooper. Next is "The Truth", the new one from the
reigning American Idol, Kris Allen. Then comes a tribute... Simon Cowell...
unfiltered. Truly is the end of an era tonight... The first of a series, I
think. Next comes Siobhan Magnus & Aaron Kelly singing "How Deep Is Your Love".
I'm sensing an appearance by at least one Bee Gee... or two. Barry and Robin
Gibb on the stage. And there's a Hasselhoff. Then Big Mike Lynche sings "Takin'
It To The Street". And here comes Michael McDonald to help him out.
(C-Note: The official roundtable begins here. Our
Chico: And then there's Dane Cook...
known for jacking other people's jokes... jacks some of Simon's best remarks and
makes a song out of it. And here to help him out... just a group of losers.
Chico: Okay, Don. while we're in break. Thoughts on the season ending
with who should and will win, go.
Don: Alright. This was pretty much a boring season, but of course, someone
has to win. I think Crystal should win, and I also think she will win.
Chico: Next up, Lacey Brown with "Beautiful"... I sense an appearance by
Christina Aguilera soon.
Don: I think I heard this song too often some years ago...
Chico: ... No, just Katie Stevens and Page Miles... and that one
chick... ... and Crystal.... DIDI, thank you =p
Gordon: Now this is obviously live.
Gordon: WHERE WAS THIS IN THE RESULTS SHOW?????
Chico: Crystal's the only one with discernable talent in the bunch.
Gordon: But they all sound a lot better now than when they got booted.
Chico: No stress of competition.
Gordon: If they all did this and showed emotion, etc during the regular weeks, I
wouldn't be asking where this was earlier.
Chico: Heh. This segues into "Fighter". Still looking for a Christina...
And there she is.
Gordon: She sort of looks like a Blonde Princess Leia.
Chico: I guess you could say she's... not herself tonight? =p
Gordon: None of them are themselves tonight. They actually sound good.
Chico: She's singing her new one, "You Lost Me". Which is kinda how I
feel after the last five months.
Gordon: Have you seen the previews of 'Splice'?
Chico: I did. Freaky stuff.
Gordon: Doesn't Christina look like the little alien baby?
Chico: Yes. You're into that freaky stuff... Go get her, tiger. :-)
Gordon: Now why wasn't SHE a mentor?
Chico: I have no idea. She had a new CD out and everything.
Gordon: And hey - it's a taped clip of Ricky Gervais!
Chico: Nice. "I'm sure there's some demand for a 58-year-old lap
Chico: Okay, while we're in commercial... Gordon, thoughts on the season
and who's going to take it. Go.
Gordon: The person with an L in their name will win. Now I know you have said
Chico: Yes I have.
Gordon: And you are #1 and I am #2 on the standings.
Chico: Yes, by one.
Gordon: So hence, I say Lee DeWyze. But I actually think he WILL win. And it's
been a combination of what he did vs. what Crystal didn't do. Speaking of which,
here's Lee DeWyze wth 'I Can't Go For That'.
Chico: Gotcha. I'm expecting Daryl Hall any moment. ... Instead, we
segue into "Maneater".
Gordon: Nice mutilation of the lyrics by Casey.
Chico: Now I'm expecting Daryl Hall & John Oates. Ah, there they are. So
to re-crap hour 1... We had four star duets... two Simon tribute pieces... and
one Dane Cook. Going to Janell Wheeler in Toledo with Team Crystal... Holy
Toledo... And the pride of Toledo, OH is singing "Ironic" by Alanis Morissette.
Don: And who didn't see this coming? :-P
Chico: She's on the wrong show. She's a Star Search product. :-) That's
like Superman teaming up with Spider-Man. Doesn't happen.
Gordon: So apparently the job of the finalists isn't to actually sing real
songs, but to be glorified musical doormen for the real acts.
Chico: And where were you the last four years? =p Okay... This season,
I've invested a lot of time and resources to enhance my enjoyment of the
proceedings... But you know what would've really helped? If the judges would
actually judge, if the singers would actually sing, and if it were just
entertaining to start. Instead, I have... the worst season ever. That said... I
think Lee SHOULD win it, I think Crystal WILL win it. Lee was the more
consistent performer, but he picked a bad night to have a bad night. And I'll
just say this... American Idol is a victim of its own success... Instead of
finding the best singer in America... they're just plodding along on its own
wave until the end. It's not about the music anymore, it's about the show. And
that really hurt it this season.
Gordon: I don't think last night matters. I really don't. If you voted for Lee
all year, it won't matter on one night. Same for Crystal. And as we've seen with
the vote totals, though they've been going up, I think it's more because of the
increased phone lines and less of more people voting. And I think Casey's vote
goes straight to Lee.
Chico: Back on Coronation night. It's hour #2... And we start with the
champion of season 4 and a woman that Gordon and I actually fought over once...
Carrie Underwood, and "Undo It". And while we're on the whole Star Wars thing...
If Carrie Underwood marries her fiancee Mike Fisher of the Ottawa Senators...
She'll be Carrie Fisher.
Gordon: Yeah what's up with her dating like rich jock athletes when she can have
Grandma Pepper: if this show wasn't what it was, I would have turned this off
awhile ago. Tonight being what it is, I was expecting something more exciting
from Lee. What I love about Crystal is what she did with her song. I certainly
thought last night belonged to Crystal, so I think she's going to win it.
Chico: I'm glad GP agrees with me. :-) And now, Lee & Crystal are
awarded with... A BRAND NEW CAR! It's the 2011 Ford Fiesta in custom graphics...
That said, it's time for the final Ford video, "My Wish" by Rascal Flatts.
Chico: Casey James is next with "Every Rose Has Its Thorn"... Bret
Michaels showing? And hey, it's Bret Michaels! Okay, we heard from Don, Gordon,
myself, and Grandma Pepper... Anyone else, G?
Gordon: Lee has something to say.
Lee: Lee DeWyze will win. My ears have jumped the shark on tonight's Idol
finale. Text me who wins.
Chico: Will do, chief.
Gordon: Jason on the record says Crystal will win.
Chico: Myspace auditions next season.
Gordon: And Hey! Audition online!
Chico: Yay. Next... Lee DeWyze sings a medley of Chicago hits... with
Boston. Kidding. :-)
Gordon: I think that's where his pitch went. I really like these collaborations.
And again, I ask, where is this with the mentors?
Chico: We could've had a Chicago week, you know. There's that whole
hairy Peter Cetera issue to get around, but hey, if the price is right. And
because we can... a milfy-looking actress. And next... Matt Rogers is in Mt.
Prospect, IL with Team Lee.... and he needs another legitimate hosting...
pronto. Next... Cowell Uncovered... Part 2. ... He's British. He flirts. That's
what he does.
Gordon: And we have bikini babe on cue.
Chico: Okay... Season 8 had the battle of Kris vs. Glambert. Season 7
had the battle of the Davids... What will season 9 be remembered for? ... Don?
Don: Apparently, "Pants on the Ground."
Chico: Points and control to Don.
Gordon: I would say it would be known for 'Shark Jumping in the Sky' This year,
history was made when we had no moments this season on the Idol stage, which is
why we have Gen. Larry Platt performing.
Don: Oh, dear...
Chico: Oooooooohhhhhhjesus. Here to help him out... William Hung.
Gordon: ...is that William Hung?
Chico: Could this get any worse? Thankfully not.
Gordon: I think we need Mankini and Boy Britney here, stat.
Chico: Wrong show. That's NEXT week. And for the record, yes we've got
that covered too.
Gordon: Which we'll ALSO be covering. Along with Grandma Pepper.
Chico: Next up... Paula returns for one night only... I think.
Gordon: They sure have a lot of Abdul for a show who's claiming to move on
Chico: "I'm very proud to be his friend... All I can say now... is 'To
sir... with love'".
Gordon: aaaand there she is.
Chico: YAY. The band's back together.
Gordon: Paula, come back! We miss you!
Chico: We need some loopiness up in here... Though after seeing that
last bit, I withdraw that last remark =p
Gordon: Paula tells Simon it's his turn to feed the baby in the back.
Chico: In so many words... Paula's so glad she had this time together.
No, Idol won't be the same, but it will go on.
Gordon: Paula says that it won't be the same without Simon, but it will go on.
Yes, and I'm guessing for one more season.
Chico: A montage of his tender moments with "My Way", his favorite song,
playing in the background. *salutes* Hoping for the best for the X-Factor.
That's all I gotta say. Next, the eight champions take the stage....
Dude... Kelly ate Ruben. =p
Gordon: Hey! Taylor hicks sighting!...7 Idolists. No David Cook.
Chico: The song, "Together We Are One"... and we're short a champion.
Where's David Cook?
Don: No idea.
Chico: Instead, we get EVERY FRICKING FINALIST WE CAN FIND on stage at
Gordon: And a lot of Idol finalists.
Chico: SPEECH! Simon thanks everyone for the support, the fun, and for
the sense of humor..
"Who's going to replace me... The truth is... you
guys are the judge of the show, and you've done an incredible job over the
Gordon: Sort of. They did leave Sanjaya in way too long.
Chico: And then there was season 5 when Chris Daughtry was voted off in
the round of 4. Next, the finalists of season 9 with "Again" by Janet Jackson...
and lasers. Next, Janet singing... and no lasers. And Jason Block arrives.
Jason: I should have stuck with my gut in the Yes but No but Yes column.
Gordon: Should have, could have, would have, didn't. And that's another
reason why I feel confident. Jason picked Crystal.
Chico: So let's catch Jason up here...star duets... poignant moments
with Simon... The band was back together for one more night... lasers... Pants
on the Ground. And now Janet Jackson. Oh, and every finalist ever (except for
David Cook for some reason) singing.
Jason: Holy (^_^), Janet's ass is HUGE!
Gordon: And luscious.
Chico: She's STILL bangin'.
Jason: I would STILL hit that. Jermaine still is. And this is about Lee and
Crystal...no it isn't LOL
Chico: Heh. If it were, it'd only be an hour in length,.
Jason: There you go.
Chico: Okay, one more duet with "A Little Help From My Friends". Lee &
Jason: Joe Cocker.
Chico: Hey, there he is.
Jason: I am good at this :)
Chico: Like it's hard? :-)
Jason: Didn't say it was.
Gordon: This is really good. I wish I saw MORE of this for the OTHER 12 WEEKS,
Chico: 14, G. Okay, you've waited almost two hours, what's one more
commercial break gonna do? Let's round up the Should/Will one more time.
Gordon: Sure. Why not. It beats a Deal or No Deal episode when they bring back
the same 22 contestants.
Chico: Should: Lee... Will: CRYSTAL.
Jason: Should win: Crystal. Will: Lee
Gordon: Should: Crystal, Will: Lee
Don: Should: Crystal; Will: Crystal
Gordon: Idol Pool: Should: Gordon. Will: Gordon :)
Chico: Whatever, dude. Don and I won the Survivor pool :-) Time for the
Jason: About time.
Chico: Will it be the mother... or the paint guy? Once again, Edward
Bottington Telescope with the million dollar envelope.
Jason: Notice no vote totals yet.
Chico: Ryan Seacrest... it is YOURS.
"After the nationwide vote...
"... I can now tell you...
"... the winner...
"Of American Idol 2010... is...
Gordon: YAY! :D
Chico: They are dancing in Mt. Prospect tonight!
Jason: Same stuff two years in a row.
Gordon: I'll take that, thanks you. (Grabs Belt from Chico)
Chico: Crystal ran sprints... Lee ran a marathon. That's what I get for
listening to Jason Block :-)
Jason: I had it right before I got blindsided by talent.
Gordon: You have to be in it for the long haul, Crystal faded in the 4th
Jason: In the same way that Adam Lambert is doing better than Kris Allen,
Crystal will do better than he will.
Don: Should've known. The favourite never wins. :-P
Chico: I don't see EITHER of them doing that spectacular, really. So
once again, congratulations to Lee DeWyze, the NEW... American Idol. And
Simon... we'll see you again. :-)
Gordon: in 2011. Final thoughts: You saw this coming. You really did.
Chico: I think we saw EVERYTHING coming.
Jason: Pretty much.
Jason: So which male white guitarist will win Season 10?
Chico: It'll be fun trying to figure that one out (or at least I hope it
will be). Okay, we're going to call it a season on that. We're going to be back
better than ever next week with America's Got Talent. Thanks to the awesome
Jason: Thank you
Chico: Jason Block, Don Harpwood, Grandma Pepper, Lee DiGeorge... and
the winner and new champion Gordon Pepper.
Gordon: Not a new champion. Just loaned it out.
Chico: Heh. Remember as always to SUPPORT LOCAL & INDEPENDENT MUSIC!