November 19, 2005

Gordon: Is that how you roll?
Chico:  'Cos that's how I roll.
Gordon: We are back for the show. As Thanksgiving is coming up, I wanted to give everyone some Thanksgiving Turkey!
Jason:  Uh oh.
Chico:  Extra cranberry sauce, please.
Gordon: However, turkey doesn't go through the net very well, so I've decided that we will be giving out presents instead.
Brian:  Oooh...presents!
Gordon: Real easy game - I give you a person. You say what present you're going to give them. For example, if you just saw the Jeopardy! DVD review on Best Week Ever, you know that Alex Trebek probably needs some pants.
Chico:  Because it's never too early to start holiday shopping... as Target will so remind us of.
Rob: Or Wal-mart.
Gordon: Let's start with...

The Fired Apprentice Contestants. The Donald has given them his own present - a gag. He warns them that saying anything will have them liable for a $5 million. We need to give them some love. What love shall we give them?

Chico:  How about their own copy of "Trump: The Game"
Rob: Or Apprentice: Season 1 on DVD.
Jason:  I like the DVD.
Dan:  The DVD
Rob: I own that set.
Brian:  A "Trump Card" from the game show of same name.
Chico:  So a bunch of Trump swag.. to keep'em quiet.
Gordon: Next up...

Fantasia Barrino. There was a casting call for 'Dreamgirls', but the person getting the present was Jennifer Hudson, as she gets the role instead of Fantasia. What would be a good sympathy gift for her?

Jason:  Hooked on Phonics.
Rob: Hooked on Phonics
Gordon: That was cold.
Jason:  Truth Hurts.
Rob: I don't call it cold, more of a Reality Check.
Chico:  *rimshot* That was pretty harsh. I Believe... *rimshot* I'll defer to Gordon.
Gordon: Next up...

Miss America! She's now in Vegas, thanks to CMT. They also need a new format, as the ratings have been dropping faster than The Biggest Loser's Waist Line. Any gift ideas?

Chico:  I'll just get a gift card.. Women like that are so hard to shop for.
Jason:  A new owner - Trump :)
Chico:  Donald Trump does not own the Miss America. Only Miss USA, Teen Miss USA, and Miss Universe.
Dan:  he owns 3?!
Gordon: Maybe they do need Donald Trump. He would be a good present.
Rob: I would send Miss America to Bravo.
Chico:  But Bravo's audience are intelligent. Why would they want to watch Miss America?
Rob: So they can point their finger at them and laugh at the stupidity.
Chico:  touche.
Gordon: Next set -

I've Got a Secret. They have already started tapings for their shows, soon to be on GSN. What items can we give them to brighten up their day?

Jason:  Maybe the queer eye guys as panelists.
Chico:  A rulebook. I have a feeling that this will either be a stroke of genius or a big-ass blowup. So it doesn't hurt matters to have the rules on hand at all times.
Gordon: What panelists should we give them as gifts?
Chico:  Ellen DeGeneres.
Rob: Rosie O'Donnell, Sheryl Swoopes, The Fab Five.
Chico:  George Takei? Can't go wrong with Sulu.
Rob: Elton John?
Dan:  Jm J Bullock?
Chico:  I've seen Jim J. in action... Trust me, you don't want him. Remember Match Game?
Dan:  Lest we forget about the Davidson Squares too...
Gordon: He's got a secret - He's a sucky panelist. Next gift...

Reality TV Writers. They want equal pay and equal rights, and some of them stormed through a convention off of a demonstration. What do you want to get them?

Chico:  Real jobs.
Rob: Pink Slips.
Gordon: Reality TV isn't real work?
Chico:  Hardly. That's why it isn't reality TV so much as it is... well, you know.
Jason:  The same pay. They deserve it.
Rob: There are only a few good Reality shows and the rest is crap.
Gordon: Another issue that they've had is Product Placement Issues. What advertisement would you like to see on a reality show?
Dan:  If it's a bad show, ex-lax.
Gordon: Alka Seltzer anyone?
Chico:  How about the one that happens in between the game action? So, you know, it doesn't get in the way. Something about the Pizza Hut Feud bothers me. You know what I'm saying?
Dan:  It's unsettling. Pardon the pun
Gordon: FInal one...

We need a present for Televised Poker. This week, we celebrate the invention of the Lipstick Cam, which revolutionized the way that we watch the show. What's the next invention that Poker needs?

Rob: A ban of Mike Matusow.
Chico:  Holograms!
Jason:  3-D cards...what he said.
Chico:  Funny, I was just thinking holograms and reminded of Yu-Gi-Oh! and of what Tim Connolly said at Congress..
Jason:  which was?
Chico:  "They have an adult version of Yu-Gi-Oh!. It's called Tilt." But Tilt doesn't have holograms.
Gordon: Poker The Gathering, anyone?
Chico:  Hell no. Can you imagine Uno with that much coverage?
Rob: Thankfully no.
Chico:  "Draw four, baby."
Jason:  OH NO a Reverse!
Dan:  yeah, that would drive you nuts.
Gordon: We'll be Skipping the rest of this and go to a Commercial. After this - The Big Finish! Stick around, folks!

(Brought to you by Bai Ling's Balalaikas! Now YOU can sound like Bai Ling. The Balalaika comes with sheet music for 'Like a Virgin', 'Girls Just Want to Have Fun;' and many more!)

Gordon: Would you buy a Bai Ling Balalaika, Chico?
Chico:  Sure would, G!
Rob: Dear lord.  Bai Ling, William Hung, and Yoko Ono.  Those three single-handedly set the Asian/American Music Scene back 30 or so years.
Chico:  Hey.. I like Rachael Yamagata, okay? Utada, anyone?
Dan:  An acquired taste.
Chico:  And I also like finishing big. So let's do that, shall we?
Gordon: Let's go with...THE BIG FINISH!
Chico:  First question, as always... Survivor: Who's next?
Rob: Gary's Gone.
Gordon: They got rid of Jamie, but I think the old crew holds form and Gary is next to go.
Rob: Hogeboom goes Boom is the headline for that.
Gordon: The Apprentice - Who's Next?
Chico:  Rebecca's on borrowed time herself. I don't see her lasting any longer if she doesn't Cowboy up.
Gordon: Martha Stewart - Does Jim stick around again?
Rob: Nope
Chico:  No way. He's also living on borrowed time.
Dan:  I don't see Jim making it.
Chico:  Wheel of Fortune: Jessica Derenbecker claims $121,650 in cashola. Thoughts?
Rob: Good for her.
Brian:  I missed that episode.
Dan:  That's nice when you see contestants on Wheel hit those six digits in the end.
Chico:  Oh yeah.
Gordon: I'll take it. We have the new list of Dancing With the Stars 2 Celebs.
Chico: So far, we have only four... former NFL star Jerry Rice, "SoapTalk" host Lisa Rinna, R&B singer Drew Lachey (Nick's brother), and Robert Wagner.
Gordon: Early picks?
Rob: I'm Rooting for Robert Wagner.
Chico:  I'm thinking Lisa Rinna will have what you call the Monaco factor.
Rob: Only reason being we both share the same first name.
Gordon: I'll go for Jerry
Chico:  But I'll pull for Jerry.
Dan:  Jerry.
Gordon: I have mail - and this is a first for WLTI
Jason:  Oh wow.
Dan:  *gasp*
Chico:  Another one?!
Gordon: Do you remember the spoiler that we had for future Jeopardy tapings?
Chico:  Yep.
Jason:  Yes.
Rob: I sure do.
Gordon: Well, someone who is connected to those rumors e-mailed  us!
Dan:  hmmmmm....

Chico:  Well, Gordon... what do you say to that except... BRING HIM ON!
Dan:  absolutely.
Jason:  Outstanding.
Gordon: Well, not until the mystery person's run is done - if it's done yet, that is.
Chico:  Because that's our bag. Meanwhile, we'll open up the email bag again. The address is WLTI@gameshownewsnet.com. We'll answer any of your questions on ... well, almost anything. For example, we will not tell you how to get illegal prescriptions.
Gordon: If you want to get any sort of drug high, watch But Can They Sing.
Chico:  With that, I'm taking my boys to see a double feature: Walk the Line and Harry Potter.
Jason:  Good double feature.
Chico:  For Rob Seidelman, Jason Block, Dan Berger, Brian Moore, and everyone at Game Show Newsnet, I'm Chico Alexander... He's Gordon Pepper. We do parties. Happy Thanksgiving, everyone!
Rob: Gobble Gobble
Dan:  Take care.
Jason:  Spread the love, y'all.
Gordon: And the giblets.