June 25, 2005

The ladies and gentlemen amongst the powers that be have decreed that this particular episode of We Love to Interrupt is more offensive than any other. Viewer discretion is advised.

Relax yourself, b(^_^)es... It's a celebration.

Paul: This is a test of the emergency broadcasting system.
Chico: (loud annoying tone)
Paul: In the event of an actual emergency, you would have been instructed where to sit, grab your ankles, and kiss your ass goodbye.
Chico: And had this been an actual emergency, we wouldn't be able to say "From somewhere in America, WLTI... is on!"
Gordon: Welcome to this week's episode, and we'll see if we can try to surpass last week's edited out quotient.
Jason: (^_^) Yeah!
Travis: w00t!
Paul: Roger Wilco.
Chico: (^_^) right.
Gordon: I am Mr. Gordon Pepper, and my broadcast buddy is Mr. Chico Alexander.
Chico: Present.
Gordon: We also see from Beat the Block, Mr. 21-1 Jason Block.
Jason: That's 22-1 to you.  And I am still not talking to you.
Gordon: By the way, Jason, Ken Jennings says hi.
Jason: Shut up.
Chico: And we also see Travis "I created a board game. What have YOU done recently?" Schario.
Travis: Morning all.
Gordon: Hey Travis.
Jason: Good morning.
Travis: Thank you for the nice intro, Chico.
Chico: Anytime.
Gordon: We also have our special guest with us. He is very special because he is the mastermind behind the Game Show Congress. We are proud to introduce Mr. Paul Bailey!
Jason: APPLAUSE! How are you Paul?
Paul: And joined by my son Gary, playing he wants to interrupt... me.  Thus, DVDs, computer games, puzzles, and the occasional spilled bowl of cereal will be a distraction.
Gordon: Though Distraction is a completely different show.
Chico: Does that make Gordon Jimmy Carr?
Gordon: Hold on - let me get the mouse traps and naked old people.
Travis: **opens old naked people cage**
Paul: It is interesting, Saturday morning USED to be when you saw cartoons, but now they are on 24-7.
Gordon: (rummaging) anyone seen that port-a-potty set?
Jason: My eyes...my eyes....
Gordon: We like to consider ourselves a human cartoon, Paul.
Paul: Or as Jackson Browne said "Doctor, My Eyes"!
Chico: Hey, nothing wrong with cartoons... Now Saturday mornings are pretty much Blockbusters (first show is on), What Not to Wear, Best Week Ever, and Power Rangers.
Gordon: And for us Whammyheads, Press Your Luck.
Travis: Of course, PYL.
Jason:  But for us cartoonites, who could forget the Bugs Bunny Show?
Chico: Bugs Bunny. :)
Gordon: Superfriends Vs. the Legion of Doom.
Paul: I'm stuck with Dora the Exporer, Teletubbies, Bombahs, and Baby Einstein dvds.
Jason: Our sympathies.
Chico: Dude...
Gordon: It could be worse. At least Barney isn't in there.
Travis: Good call.
Chico: Oh yeah.
Jason: Very Good Call.
Paul: Barney is out - someone gave us some Barney books that I am discreetly giving to the Salvation Army.
Travis: Nice.
Jason: No wonder why they made you the head of GSC4...smart guy :P
Paul: Elmo, however, is a hit here from PBS as well - 3 DVDs.
Chico: Alright, we'll compare ritualistic bowls of cereal later. Right now, let's get to the party with...our favorite network in the whole damn world.
Gordon: Playboy Channel?
Chico: No, that's YOUR favorite network. Sad child.
Paul: History Channel?
Travis: OLN?
Jason: Food Network?
Chico: No, that's MY favorite network :)
Paul: Trivia Unwrapped!
Chico: Think black square, Helvetica letters.
Gordon: The Macintosh Channel?
Travis: OK, hold on.  The fact that you came up with the FONT is frightening.
Chico: I'm a font freak.
Travis: FF's UNITE!!
Chico: (^_^) yeah!
Jason: What network are we talking about?
Travis: Lifetime?
Gordon: You don't mean GSN, do you?
Chico: You guys are horrible at this game! It's GSN.
Gordon: I thought you said favorite.
Jason: Right, right...sorry.
Paul: Dyslexics of the world, untie!
Gordon: So what's going on with GSN, Chico?
Chico: What ISN'T going on with GSN these days? We have pool ... with balls, Dodgeball, Lingo Balls... and poker... which you have to have balls to play.
Travis: GSN's getting balls-y
Jason: I've got BIG Balls...you've got Big Balls...but we've got the biggest Balls of them all! Have you seen the new Lingo Hottie?
Chico: Yes I have. That's later in the show :)
Travis: I certainly have.  I'm just now recovering.
Jason: Ok. Sorry.
Chico: Like... Heh.. WOW.
Paul: What will be next, celebrity slots?  (don't go there...)
Gordon: Celebrity Sluts? Wha?
Chico: Anyways, what on GSN are you guys looking forward to... GORDON! FOCUS! *beats with a dowel*
Gordon: You can't have the celebrity balls without the celebrity sluts, that's what I say.
Chico: *beats with a dowel again*
Jason: New Lingo of course.
Travis: I'm looking forward to Rip Torn taking over Dodgeball.
Jason: That should make it interesting.
Chico: Rip Torn... he's one of my heroes =p  Right up there with Robert Loggia... =p
Jason: Loggia rules.
Chico: "Drink your orange juice, kid."
Travis: He's never been in a bad movie, from what I can remember.  So he'll definitely make Dodgeball a little more tolerable.
Jason: And Pool might be fun.
Gordon: Seriously, I like Rip Torn. Instead of 2 out of 3 matches, we now have 4 quarters of action and points, like... Roller Derby.
Chico: Talk about Extreme.
Travis: Extreme... like the new Loonatics characters.
Chico: That's just freaky.
Jason: That's just bad
Gordon: Worse than Ball Breakers?
Chico: TAR and Ballbreakers, and of course, Lingo, may be worth watching. Rip Torn will cancel out the presence of celebrities on Dodgeball... if only we had more Rip Torns...
Travis: A Rip Torn cloner...wouldn't that be called a Shredder?
Chico: No, you're thinking the guy with all the blender parts on TMNT. But I tell ya... after this summer, I tell you... I'm all starred/celebbed out.
Gordon: Speaking of clones, what about those brand new shows coming out, thanks to the celebrity-fueled Dancing with the Stars?
Jason: Nothing new. See a hit...and beat it to death with copies.  See Millionaire 1999.
Gordon: Thanks to the ABC blockbuster, we're getting a bunch of hastily prepared shows to try to capitalize on the craze.
Chico: And once again, Fox is leading the charge to rip the genre a new one.
Gordon: Anyone for Ice Skating with the Stars?
Jason: Uh...no.
Chico: Nope.
Travis: I don't like regular people ice skating.
Paul: What, maybe Tango Greed - people have to dance while stabbing their partners in the back?
Chico: I don't like ice skating. I don't like ice! I don't like the cold. I don't like slippery stuff...
Paul: Who Wants To Be a Mambo King?
Jason: That's funny, Paul.
Travis: What about butter?  That's slippery.
Chico: Okay, got me there.
Gordon: Anyone for Celebrity Idol?
Chico: Nope.
Travis: Mad TV did Celebrity Idol.  That was funny.
Chico: Yeah, well, someone forgot to tell Fox/19/FremantleMedia that it was a joke.
Gordon: Anyone for I'm a Celebrity, but I want to Sing, too?
Chico: Nope.
Paul: Fat Shatner would take up that mike.
Chico: Point for Paul.
Jason: (Ding)
Gordon: Anyone for Battle of the Network Reality Stars?
Chico: NO!
Jason: NO!
Chico: HELL NO!
Travis: Hmm... Intriguing... Only if there's slight bloodshed.
Chico: And at least one dismemberment.
Gordon: You KNOW you want to see Trista Rehn again, Chico.
Chico: *beats Gordon with a dowel again*
Jason: No, he doesn't
Paul: How about "Beyond the Valley of the Ultravixen Stars"
Gordon: I could get into that one.
Travis: I'm with Paul on that one.
Jason: Nice.
Chico: I am in agreement with the Paul.
Jason: So what other ripoffs do we have in the works?
Travis: What about, "(Insert odd activity) with the (insert celebrity synonym)"
Gordon: What about Celebrity...Charades? Anyone catch the week of shows?
Chico: I did.
Gordon: I did too.
Chico: Pretty interesting game for high-brow movie buffs.
Gordon: I liked the show - and a fine shout out to my buddy Loudon Wainwright III.
Jason: He's a friend of yours?
Gordon: Yes he is.
Chico: It would've been better if we knew how much each charity got.
Gordon: It was good for what it was - I think it could be a fun one hour weekly show.
Chico: I have to agree on that. I'm just saying that it could be better.  I mean it's good... but it could be great.
Paul: Since they are doing celebrity this and that and poker this and that, cant we have Ultravixen Strip Poker Showdown?
Chico: And don't get us started on Strip Poker. We'll be here all day =p
Paul: Truth or Consequences was rumored to come back, which is based upon a parlor game similar to charades
Travis: Ultravixen Strip Showcase Showdown. That's what happens when the only two tracks of my mind collide.
Paul: What do you get with 4 of a kind?
Gordon: Hopefully, two topless Vixens =) That would be a nice 4 of a kind.
Travis: No no.  That would be two pair.
Jason: Give a new meaning to Texas Hold Em.
Chico: I told you, we'd be here all day if we dwelled any further!
Paul: 6 of one or a half dozen of the other, or as Steve Martin would say, there must be 57 tits up there.
Gordon: Chico - can you beat us all with the dowel?
Paul: I accept my beating with sincerity and contempt.
Chico: Actually, let me get my Barry Bonds special here...
Gordon: oh - ok
Jason: Thank you sir may I have another.
Travis: Beat me with a Plinko Stick.  It would make me feel knighted.
Gordon: (gives Chico dowel-sized Plinko Stick)
Travis: PROCTOR...New Topic.
Chico: Alright, let's go on before we're completely warped further.
Gordon: Moving on, we go to the only daily game show that's not in repeats - Jeopardy.
Jason: Ah, Jeopardy.
Chico: Yeah. Hey, how about the guy who won $1,201?
Jason: Ken Jennings says he still watches every day.
Travis: Ah, like a breath of fresh Trebek.
Gordon: Since the Tournament of Champions, No one has gone more than 3 days undefeated. In the few weeks the show has left, will anyone make a run?
Jason: I don't know. I think everyone has UTOC withdrawal.
Paul: There was a rumor of a run starting.
Chico: Call me crazy, but I think someone will make a respectable showing.
Gordon: How much longer until repeats for Jeopardy?
Chico: We've got like half a month for that to happen, but I have a feeling.
Gordon: The rumor had this person winning how many in a row, Paul?
Paul: Is Ken Jennings watching Jeopardy like the people who win the lottery playing on?  Of course, there was a recent story of someone in PA getting a second $1 scratch ticket... The rumor, on J!, without any kind of substantiation or backup is something like 15 shows, but I have not seen any confirmation.
Chico: But the rest of the shows have been canned right?
Paul: I think they are all in the can, but they might not have been show in order taped as they might have a cliffhanger with someone making a run, into the next season ala-Ken.
Chico: So someone might've seen them all. Any of your agents, G?
Gordon: My spies agree with that, but no word on if he is still the champ as the tapings ended.
Chico: So it is a dude.
Gordon: My spies say dude.
Chico: Okay.
Travis: Duuuuuuuude.
Jason: Sweet
Chico: This is some hot (^_^) :-D
Paul: Now, they would love it if it were a female, someone of color or someone in a wheelchair, but I think it is a duuude.
Chico: Duuuude...
Travis: Duuuuuuuuuude.
Chico: Duuuude, I think we just make the "next week" bumper.
Jason: Sweeeeeeeeet
Paul: Like, Alex, let me have bongo drums for 600 please.
Travis: Sweeeeeeeeet, Duuuuuuuuuude.
Jason: Ok...what's next?
Gordon: Jason, please hand over the jackets.
Chico: Cerebrotime!
Gordon: Roll that beautiful Brain Footage.
Travis: **Turns on the Doppler**
Jason: Hands the Ron Burgundy Jackets out and it's time for....
Chico: Before I get a mad case of the munchies :)
Paul: Pardon me, but what is Cerebro?  Is it a game, is it a dance, is it a breakfast cereal?
Jason: It's Brainvision News!

*MCTYW plays, "From the four corners of the globe to your frontal lobe, this is Brainvision News with Chico Alexander, Jason Block, Gordon Pepper, and the award-winning Brainvision News team"*

Paul: Typewriters in background.
Travis: With Chopper 3 and Doppler Radar...
Chico: Points if you know what MCTYW stands for.
Jason: Who does the song and do you have it Chico?
Chico: Umm... some WPVI generics and yes.
Paul: My Cunning Touch Yearns Wild?
Gordon: Naughty Paul.
Chico: Move Closer to Your World.... Props to Philadelphia =p
Gordon: Naughty Naughty Naughty.
Chico: Speaking of...

The new face of Lingo now has a name. From the hot blondes department, meet Miss USA 2004 Shandi Finnessey.

Gordon: Yay, Shandi!
Jason: (wolf-whistles)
Chico: She's no Stacey... and that may be a good thing.
Jason: Hottie Alert!
Paul: Coming soon to a centerfold near you
Travis: **Double Showcase sound for Shandi**
Gordon: Now why did Stacey get booted form Lingo again?
Chico: My guess: same reason Heather Kozar got booted from TPIR.  She found a career being carriage for a nice pair of breasts.
Jason: Stacey posed in FHM.
Chico: Or that :)
Travis: Wait...what issue?
Jason: The one with Stacy Keibler on the cover.
Travis: Oh, ok.  I've got an FHM subscription, but not Stuff.
Jason: Page 56, Stuff Magazine. June 2005 Issue.
Travis: Thanks, Jay.
Gordon: Correct. Now has anyone seen Shandi nekked yet?
Chico: I know you have. Pre-vert =p
Travis: You must aspire to be a PROvert...be good at what you do.
Paul: Not I, but I do have great powers of visualization
Chico: Interesting thing, GSN is now connected with Mark Burnett. (Big Board lowers: Subject: The Six Degrees of Mark Burnett)...
 

The Six Degrees of Mark Burnett

GSN airs Lingo with Shandi Finnessey, who was Miss USA, which is owned by Donald Trump, who hosts The Apprentice, which is produced by... Mark Burnett.

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