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On the Buzzer
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Paying homage to shows such as
"Pardon the Interruption", "Around the Horn", "The Best Damn
Sports Show Period", "Best Week Ever", and "The Soup", We Love
to Interrupt is a weekly raw, frank, red-blooded, two-fisted,
full-bodied look into the world of game shows. Comments are always welcomed
Hosted by Chico Alexander and
Gordon Pepper, and featuring the editors/contributors to GSNN
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GAMESHOWNEWSNET.COM. All rights reserved.
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Web design by Jason Elliott. Logo by Chico Alexander.
June 25, 2005
The ladies and gentlemen amongst the powers that
be have decreed that this
particular episode of We Love to Interrupt is more offensive than any other.
Viewer discretion is advised.
Relax yourself, b(^_^)es... It's a celebration.
Paul: This is a test of the emergency broadcasting system.
Chico: (loud annoying tone)
Paul: In the event of an actual emergency, you would have been instructed
where to sit, grab your ankles, and kiss your ass goodbye.
Chico: And had this been an actual emergency, we wouldn't be able to say
"From somewhere in America, WLTI... is on!"
Gordon: Welcome to this week's episode, and we'll see if we can try to
surpass last week's edited out quotient.
Jason: (^_^) Yeah!
Paul: Roger Wilco.
Chico: (^_^) right.
Gordon: I am Mr. Gordon Pepper, and my broadcast buddy is Mr. Chico Alexander.
Gordon: We also see from Beat the Block, Mr. 21-1 Jason Block.
Jason: That's 22-1 to you. And I am still not talking to you.
Gordon: By the way, Jason, Ken Jennings says hi.
Jason: Shut up.
Chico: And we also see Travis "I created a board game. What have YOU done
Travis: Morning all.
Gordon: Hey Travis.
Jason: Good morning.
Travis: Thank you for the nice intro, Chico.
Gordon: We also have our special guest with us. He is very special because he
is the mastermind behind the Game Show Congress. We are proud to introduce
Mr. Paul Bailey!
Jason: APPLAUSE! How are you Paul?
Paul: And joined by my son Gary, playing he wants to interrupt... me.
Thus, DVDs, computer games, puzzles, and the occasional spilled bowl of cereal
will be a distraction.
Gordon: Though Distraction is a completely different show.
Chico: Does that make Gordon Jimmy Carr?
Gordon: Hold on - let me get the mouse traps and naked old people.
Travis: **opens old naked people cage**
Paul: It is interesting, Saturday morning USED to be when you saw cartoons,
but now they are on 24-7.
Gordon: (rummaging) anyone seen that port-a-potty set?
Jason: My eyes...my eyes....
Gordon: We like to consider ourselves a human cartoon, Paul.
Paul: Or as Jackson Browne said "Doctor, My Eyes"!
Chico: Hey, nothing wrong with cartoons... Now Saturday mornings are pretty
much Blockbusters (first show is on), What Not to Wear, Best Week Ever, and
Gordon: And for us Whammyheads, Press Your Luck.
Travis: Of course, PYL.
Jason: But for us cartoonites, who could forget the Bugs Bunny Show?
Chico: Bugs Bunny. :)
Gordon: Superfriends Vs. the Legion of Doom.
Paul: I'm stuck with Dora the Exporer, Teletubbies, Bombahs, and Baby
Jason: Our sympathies.
Gordon: It could be worse. At least Barney isn't in there.
Travis: Good call.
Chico: Oh yeah.
Jason: Very Good Call.
Paul: Barney is out - someone gave us some Barney books that I am
discreetly giving to the Salvation Army.
Jason: No wonder why they made you the head of GSC4...smart guy :P
Paul: Elmo, however, is a hit here from PBS as well - 3 DVDs.
Chico: Alright, we'll compare ritualistic bowls of cereal later. Right now,
let's get to the party with...our favorite network in the whole damn world.
Gordon: Playboy Channel?
Chico: No, that's YOUR favorite network. Sad child.
Paul: History Channel?
Jason: Food Network?
Chico: No, that's MY favorite network :)
Paul: Trivia Unwrapped!
Chico: Think black square, Helvetica letters.
Gordon: The Macintosh Channel?
Travis: OK, hold on. The fact that you came up with the FONT is
Chico: I'm a font freak.
Travis: FF's UNITE!!
Chico: (^_^) yeah!
Jason: What network are we talking about?
Gordon: You don't mean GSN, do you?
Chico: You guys are horrible at this game! It's GSN.
Gordon: I thought you said favorite.
Jason: Right, right...sorry.
Paul: Dyslexics of the world, untie!
Gordon: So what's going on with GSN, Chico?
Chico: What ISN'T going on with GSN these days? We have pool ... with balls,
Dodgeball, Lingo Balls... and poker... which you have to have balls to play.
Travis: GSN's getting balls-y
Jason: I've got BIG Balls...you've got Big Balls...but we've got the
biggest Balls of them all! Have you seen the new Lingo Hottie?
Chico: Yes I have. That's later in the show :)
Travis: I certainly have. I'm just now recovering.
Jason: Ok. Sorry.
Chico: Like... Heh.. WOW.
Paul: What will be next, celebrity slots? (don't go there...)
Gordon: Celebrity Sluts? Wha?
Chico: Anyways, what on GSN are you guys looking forward to... GORDON!
FOCUS! *beats with a dowel*
Gordon: You can't have the celebrity balls without the celebrity sluts,
that's what I say.
Chico: *beats with a dowel again*
Jason: New Lingo of course.
Travis: I'm looking forward to Rip Torn taking over Dodgeball.
Jason: That should make it interesting.
Chico: Rip Torn... he's one of my heroes =p Right up there with Robert
Jason: Loggia rules.
Chico: "Drink your orange juice, kid."
Travis: He's never been in a bad movie, from what I can remember. So he'll
definitely make Dodgeball a little more tolerable.
Jason: And Pool might be fun.
Gordon: Seriously, I like Rip Torn. Instead of 2 out of 3 matches, we now
have 4 quarters of action and points, like... Roller Derby.
Chico: Talk about Extreme.
Travis: Extreme... like the new Loonatics characters.
Chico: That's just freaky.
Jason: That's just bad
Gordon: Worse than Ball Breakers?
Chico: TAR and Ballbreakers, and of course, Lingo, may be worth watching.
Rip Torn will cancel out the presence of celebrities on Dodgeball... if only we
had more Rip Torns...
Travis: A Rip Torn cloner...wouldn't that be called a Shredder?
Chico: No, you're thinking the guy with all the blender parts on TMNT. But I
tell ya... after this summer, I tell you... I'm all starred/celebbed out.
Gordon: Speaking of clones, what about those brand new shows coming out,
thanks to the celebrity-fueled Dancing with the Stars?
Jason: Nothing new. See a hit...and beat it to death with copies. See
Gordon: Thanks to the ABC blockbuster, we're getting a bunch of hastily
prepared shows to try to capitalize on the craze.
Chico: And once again, Fox is leading the charge to rip the genre a new one.
Gordon: Anyone for Ice Skating with the Stars?
Travis: I don't like regular people ice skating.
Paul: What, maybe Tango Greed - people have to dance while stabbing their
partners in the back?
Chico: I don't like ice skating. I don't like ice! I don't like the cold. I
don't like slippery stuff...
Paul: Who Wants To Be a Mambo King?
Jason: That's funny, Paul.
Travis: What about butter? That's slippery.
Chico: Okay, got me there.
Gordon: Anyone for Celebrity Idol?
Travis: Mad TV did Celebrity Idol. That was funny.
Chico: Yeah, well, someone forgot to tell Fox/19/FremantleMedia that
it was a joke.
Gordon: Anyone for I'm a Celebrity, but I want to Sing, too?
Paul: Fat Shatner would take up that mike.
Chico: Point for Paul.
Gordon: Anyone for Battle of the Network Reality Stars?
Chico: HELL NO!
Travis: Hmm... Intriguing... Only if there's slight bloodshed.
Chico: And at least one dismemberment.
Gordon: You KNOW you want to see Trista Rehn again, Chico.
Chico: *beats Gordon with a dowel again*
Jason: No, he doesn't
Paul: How about "Beyond the Valley of the Ultravixen Stars"
Gordon: I could get into that one.
Travis: I'm with Paul on that one.
Chico: I am in agreement with the Paul.
Jason: So what other ripoffs do we have in the works?
Travis: What about, "(Insert odd activity) with the (insert celebrity
Gordon: What about Celebrity...Charades? Anyone catch the week of shows?
Chico: I did.
Gordon: I did too.
Chico: Pretty interesting game for high-brow movie buffs.
Gordon: I liked the show - and a fine shout out to my buddy Loudon Wainwright
Jason: He's a friend of yours?
Gordon: Yes he is.
Chico: It would've been better if we knew how much each charity got.
Gordon: It was good for what it was - I think it could be a fun one hour
Chico: I have to agree on that. I'm just saying that it could be better. I
mean it's good... but it could be great.
Paul: Since they are doing celebrity this and that and poker this and that,
cant we have Ultravixen Strip Poker Showdown?
Chico: And don't get us started on Strip Poker. We'll be here all day =p
Paul: Truth or Consequences was rumored to come back, which is based upon a
parlor game similar to charades
Travis: Ultravixen Strip Showcase Showdown. That's what happens when the
only two tracks of my mind collide.
Paul: What do you get with 4 of a kind?
Gordon: Hopefully, two topless Vixens =) That would be a nice 4 of a kind.
Travis: No no. That would be two pair.
Jason: Give a new meaning to Texas Hold Em.
Chico: I told you, we'd be here all day if we dwelled any further!
Paul: 6 of one or a half dozen of the other, or as Steve Martin would say,
there must be 57 tits up there.
Gordon: Chico - can you beat us all with the dowel?
Paul: I accept my beating with sincerity and contempt.
Chico: Actually, let me get my Barry Bonds special here...
Gordon: oh - ok
Jason: Thank you sir may I have another.
Travis: Beat me with a Plinko Stick. It would make me feel knighted.
Gordon: (gives Chico dowel-sized Plinko Stick)
Travis: PROCTOR...New Topic.
Chico: Alright, let's go on before we're completely warped further.
Gordon: Moving on, we go to the only daily game show that's not in repeats -
Jason: Ah, Jeopardy.
Chico: Yeah. Hey, how about the guy who won $1,201?
Jason: Ken Jennings says he still watches every day.
Travis: Ah, like a breath of fresh Trebek.
Gordon: Since the Tournament of Champions, No one has gone more than 3 days
undefeated. In the few weeks the show has left, will anyone make a run?
Jason: I don't know. I think everyone has UTOC withdrawal.
Paul: There was a rumor of a run starting.
Chico: Call me crazy, but I think someone will make a respectable showing.
Gordon: How much longer until repeats for Jeopardy?
Chico: We've got like half a month for that to happen, but I have a feeling.
Gordon: The rumor had this person winning how many in a row, Paul?
Paul: Is Ken Jennings watching Jeopardy like the people who win the lottery
playing on? Of course, there was a recent story of someone in PA getting a
second $1 scratch ticket... The rumor, on J!, without any kind of substantiation or backup is
something like 15 shows, but I have not seen any confirmation.
Chico: But the rest of the shows have been canned right?
Paul: I think they are all in the can, but they might not have been show in
order taped as they might have a cliffhanger with someone making a run, into
the next season ala-Ken.
Chico: So someone might've seen them all. Any of your agents, G?
Gordon: My spies agree with that, but no word on if he is still the champ as
the tapings ended.
Chico: So it is a dude.
Gordon: My spies say dude.
Chico: This is some hot (^_^) :-D
Paul: Now, they would love it if it were a female, someone of color or
someone in a wheelchair, but I think it is a duuude.
Chico: Duuuude, I think we just make the "next week" bumper.
Paul: Like, Alex, let me have bongo drums for 600 please.
Travis: Sweeeeeeeeet, Duuuuuuuuuude.
Jason: Ok...what's next?
Gordon: Jason, please hand over the jackets.
Gordon: Roll that beautiful Brain Footage.
Travis: **Turns on the Doppler**
Jason: Hands the Ron Burgundy Jackets out and it's time for....
Chico: Before I get a mad case of the munchies :)
Paul: Pardon me, but what is Cerebro? Is it a game, is it a dance, is it a
Jason: It's Brainvision News!
*MCTYW plays, "From the four corners of the globe to your frontal lobe, this
is Brainvision News with Chico Alexander, Jason Block, Gordon Pepper, and the
award-winning Brainvision News team"*
Paul: Typewriters in background.
Travis: With Chopper 3 and Doppler Radar...
Chico: Points if you know what MCTYW stands for.
Jason: Who does the song and do you have it Chico?
Chico: Umm... some WPVI generics and yes.
Paul: My Cunning Touch Yearns Wild?
Gordon: Naughty Paul.
Chico: Move Closer to Your World.... Props to Philadelphia =p
Gordon: Naughty Naughty Naughty.
Chico: Speaking of...
The new face of Lingo now has a name. From the hot blondes department, meet
Miss USA 2004 Shandi Finnessey.
Gordon: Yay, Shandi!
Chico: She's no Stacey... and that may be a good thing.
Jason: Hottie Alert!
Paul: Coming soon to a centerfold near you
Travis: **Double Showcase sound for Shandi**
Gordon: Now why did Stacey get booted form Lingo again?
Chico: My guess: same reason Heather Kozar got booted from TPIR. She found
a career being carriage for a nice pair of breasts.
Jason: Stacey posed in FHM.
Chico: Or that :)
Travis: Wait...what issue?
Jason: The one with Stacy Keibler on the cover.
Travis: Oh, ok. I've got an FHM subscription, but not Stuff.
Jason: Page 56, Stuff Magazine. June 2005 Issue.
Travis: Thanks, Jay.
Gordon: Correct. Now has anyone seen Shandi nekked yet?
Chico: I know you have. Pre-vert =p
Travis: You must aspire to be a PROvert...be good at what you do.
Paul: Not I, but I do have great powers of visualization
Chico: Interesting thing, GSN is now connected with Mark Burnett. (Big Board
lowers: Subject: The Six Degrees of Mark Burnett)...
The Six Degrees of Mark
GSN airs Lingo with Shandi
Finnessey, who was Miss USA, which is owned by Donald Trump, who hosts The
Apprentice, which is produced by... Mark Burnett.
Chico: That ends the six-degrees of Mark Burnett portion of the show.
Jason: She is in a nice pink and black bra and panties...Y-O-W-Z-A.
Travis: In marketing terms, the GSN-Burnett connection is a HUGE
opportunity...**Damn my thinking in SWOT analyses**
Jason: Nice job, Chico.
Chico: I try.
Gordon: Next article...
Remember Corey Clark? Well NOW he's speaking to Fox. I guess that album
didn't sell really well now, did it? So what does this mean for Paula Abdul and
rest of the gang?
Jason: Not a bloody thing.
Travis: Absolutely nothing.
Jason: This will be much ado about nothing.
Chico: Means we go to the next article =p Har har...
Gordon: I agree it's a non-event, but enquiring minds want to know.
Chico: No, Gordon... Just yours.
(Joe Van Ginkel enters)
Gordon: And with that, we welcome our favorite exhausted casino worker, Joe
Joe: Yes friends. Today I get to be Joey Come Lately.
Travis: Well, Joey Come Late, maybe. Morning, Joe.
Paul: Greetings to the LA connection.
Gordon: What else do we want to know, Chico?
Connecting the hot blondes with the American Idol... Carrie beats Carey for
the number one spot as Carrie Underwood's "Inside Your Heaven" becomes the
third coronation single to premiere at #1.
Jason: Alright Carrie!
Chico: Yet my radio station probably won't play it, because they're owned by
Clear Chuckle =p
Joe: Go Carrie! Bo Bice sucks!
Gordon: Yay, Clear Channel!
Jason: Hooray Beer...whoops wrong show.
Joe: Yeah, really, Jason.
Gordon: Well, actually.... Let's bring up Beer!
Travis: I didn't drink last night, so I can't bring any up.
Jason: Unintended segue.
In Africa, a major beer company has created a Star Super Splash Beer
Game Show for Saturday nights. Think Sabado Gigante. They are looking to
Americanize the concept and have spots and other competitions here in the U.S.
Chico: Perfect network: Comedy Central.
Chico: Because that is a comic routine, not a game show.
Joe: Didn't we have this Sabado Gigante conversation before?
Gordon: We did as a joke, but a beer company wants to make this a reality.
Joe: Hmm...might work.
Paul: Kick off at the Great American Beer Festival in Denver at the end of
September - 400 breweries, 1500 beers on tap - great fun.
Jason: Nice Paul.
Travis: 400 Breweries, 1500 Beers, ONLY ONE LIVER
Gordon: Next article?
Gordon: Lover or Liver.
Paul: And onions.
We have numbers for some of GSN's acquisitions courtesy our good friends at
Buzzer! The Game Show Blog (they also have a new pic of Chuck & Shandi. Cool
stuff, but that boat already sailed.)
Chico: To help us out with this particular segment, we're joined via
satellite by one of the mods of Buzzer!, Alex Davis. Hello Alex!
Alex: This WLTI is the 60th one?
Alex: Wow, congratulations!
Gordon: Amazing, ain't it?
Joe: Yeah really.
Alex: I know, lol
Chico: Sixtieth one...
Chico: So tell us about the GSN, please.
Gordon: And the ratings, specifically.
Alex: Right now, some sources are saying GSN is getting a 0.4, which is
true, but that's better than average. Their average show is a 0.2. The only
shows above are Family Feud, Super Millionaire, Millionaire, Russian Roulette
(which varies) and Poker Royale. Dog Eat Dog varies as well.
Chico: Double time slots.
Alex: Exactly. Super Millionaire is getting a 0.6, which only Millionaire
and Poker Royale have trumped since Game Show Network made the switch to GSN.
Jason: What do you think AR will do?
Alex: That's really a tossup in my opinion. They are really hoping the
Millionaire audience sticks around, but I don't think that will happen. You
the competition of the fans of studio game shows VS reality shows. Millionaire
is the lead in for TAR, as you may know.
Chico: Yep. But TAR has transcended audiences recently. Take that into
account and.... ?
Jason: Should be interesting.
Alex: I'm predicting success, but not the success GSN is wanting. They are
aiming for 1.0s and above. That may happen for a little, but this is a cable
network we are talking about. The Daily Show, which is one of the most
popular late night shows around doesn't peek a .8 regularly. I'm estimating a
range for TAR. If TAR fails, GSN could fail and the network could be gone
within the next year or two.
Joe: It is entirely possible that TAR could make or break the bank for GSN.
Gordon: What about Lingo?
Alex: Don't get me started. Russian Roulette and Lingo are getting the same
ratings, but imagine this, if you will. You run GSN and just paid over
$6,000,000 for a show that you pray to God works. You want to bring back a game
show that will get those fans to shut up for a bit. Do you bring back the big
money Russian Roulette which hands out at least $3,500 per episode most of the
time? Or Lingo which hands out nearly the same amount to winners as Russian
Roulette gives to losers? Lingo is cheap and gets semi-decent ratings. That's
only reason it's around. This will be the final season unless we see insane
Joe: Alex is a pessimist, ladies and gentlemen. :D
Travis: Thank you, Joe.
Jason: I hear that.
Alex: Heh, it's the truth.
Chico: All things aside, what're you looking forward to?
Alex: I'm looking forward to Ball Breakers and Extreme Dodgeball. I usually
hate pool on TV, but this looks very interesting. I've always been a big fan
Joe: Celebrity Pool was shockingly entertaining.
Alex: It was.
Joe: Ball Breakers may yet work out.
Alex: And if the game show fans want to see their favorites stick around,
I'd be hoping that TAR stays around and is successful. The only classic that
gets above a .3 is Family Feud. And that's not going to cut it if GSN blows over
Chico: Apparently Sony's holding out on us. =p That and Ken Jennings's $3
Joe: Truthfully, I think TAR has a good chance.
Alex: Well, they just did give GSN the newest episodes of Jeopardy available
which is nice to see for a change.
Chico: If by new, you mean 1998. A very good year.
Alex: As new as they could get, yes.
Jason: I am 2001.
Alex: That's the most recent Sony will allow to be seen.
Jason: So I will be a while.
Alex: I'm assuming that's what happened to Wheel also. GSN lost the license
on Wheel and instead of renewing it like they did with J!, they just dropped
Chico: So THAT's what happened....
Gordon: One more item...
After getting the lowest ratings ever, all of the national networks have
dropped The Miss America Pageant. That in itself has been announced before, but
this is the update - the Miss America Board themselves have dropped the idea of
turning it into a reality show and hence, there's no network for it when
September rolls around. They are delaying the show and hope to get a deal for it
because the millions of dollars they get from a network is over 70% of their
funding. How are we going to deal with no Miss America in September?
Jason: There will be no pageant.
Jason: Mark my words.
Joe: Wow. That's just mind-bending. Oh well.
Chico: Nope. Not here anyways.
Joe: Truthfully, I have to agree with Jason here.
Alex: I guess I'll just have to use Pay-Per-View and my computer to get my
supply of hot bikini chicks now.
Gordon: Which most horny males do now anyway.
Travis: We must have a Miss America. We wouldn't be America without a Miss.
Gordon: Sounds good, Travis. Go get your dress.
Travis: It's still at the tailors.
Chico: Now we only have Monopoly to connect with Atlantic City, unless
you're Jason and Gordon and head down the pike on regular intervals.
Jason: Tradition will rule, but it won't be on TV and no one will miss it.
I was there this week.
Joe: Win any money?
Alex: Maybe GSN should start just trying to get Kenny VS Spenny to do a Miss
America thing now. They seem to love that trash.
Gordon: I didn't win anything. Then again, I didn't go with him this past
week. How did you do, Jason?
Jason: Lost a little. But did very well on a new game called Bonus Texas
Joe: BONUS Texas Hold 'Em?
Travis: Like a Bonus Round?
Jason: It takes a while to explain. Some other time.
Travis: Fair enough.
Gordon: That's all I got. Shut down the Doppler.
Joe: (hits the Doppler with a sledgehammer)
Travis: Joe, it's off.
Gordon: A dowel, Joe. Hit it with a dowel!
Joe: (hits the Doppler with a dowel)
Travis: DON'T KILL MY DOPPLER.
Jason: Jackets please.
Gordon: (Hands over the jacket)
Chico: That's Brainvision News... Once again, thanks to Alex and the gang at
Buzzer.... You can catch them at buzzerblog.blogspot.com. Next up, 20
Questions with our guest Paul Bailey, and then Gordon makes a spectacle out of
American judicial system. Again.
Joe: Yer lucky the thing's almost indestructible anyways, Travis.
Travis: How true, Joe.
Jason: And you guys sweat into the jackets. My dry cleaning bill is a
mess every week
Joe: I didn't get a jacket. I came in late.
Travis: Well, what do you expect? Heavy wool in the middle of the summer.
Chico: Sorry. Let mine out once in a while and I won't have that problem!
Travis: Cyberspace, you stay classy.
(Brainvision News is presented by Ultra Vixen Strip Court. You lose your
case, you lose your briefs!)
HERE to continue
Previous Episodes (Season 9)|
May 21 - 20 ?s: Lan Djang/Push or Flush
June 11 - WLTI's Vs./Push or Flush (2)
June 18 - March Madness/Infiltration
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